THIS IS NOT A SMURFING JOKE!!

Smurfing AWESOME!!
They have found a new Smurf and it is not chronic masturbator smurf...Jokey Smurf has a famous wrist...

This is Jokey Smurf... Pee-Wee Herman IS Smurfin' JOKEY SMURF!!

Now Picture this with Pee-Wee's voice...

Sorry if the Article is short but I'm in shock with all the awesomeness contained within this link.

3D, 3D, 3 Fricking D!

Come on! Step Up in 3D!? That's it! 3D movies have become ultra gimmicky.
Don't get me wrong, we've had a couple of good 3D movies, but this is insane. Are they going to make EVERYTHING on 3D now!?

I smell Transformers in 3D... yes! Robots peeing on John Tuturro in 3D, Megan Fox strutting her talent... in 3D... True that the action scenes will kick ass, I just don't want to bother wth another bayformers movie.
Shrek is coming in 3D, os are Saw, Breaking Dawn, etc.
3D is the new CGI... good when used properly very crappy if done wrong and overused... (Robert Rodriguez I am looking at you...)

I like 3D movies. Ninja Assassin should've been 3D.
As I said before not Every movie should be 3D, like nnot Every movie needs to have CGI in Every scene... You hear that George Lucas? CGI Overkill is BAAAAAAAAADDD!

It won't be long till Videogames want to ride the 3D videogaming... No I don't mean using 3D graphics... I mean 3d gaming as in needing funky 3D glasses (like the Virtual Boy) to play games... Might bring us one step closer to the Holodeck, but I'm not too into that.

As long as books stay in 2D I'm ok...

Odds and Ends April, 25th

Talk about unnecessary sequels and gimmicky 3-D...
Why? Oh why are they making another one? Cary Elwes (Robin Hood Men in Tights, The Princess Bride, Saw) has agreed to appear on Saw VII... Yes they are making another one... Something about Jigsaw survivors and some dark secret. Tobin Bell will appear or something... (didn't he die or something?) And this time the game will be played in 3-D...

Now THIS is a gutsy woman. Attempting to use 911 as a taxi service. Ms. Quandria(KWAN'-dree-ah) Bailey called 9-1-1 SIX times asking for a ride home from a night club... Obviously she's going to court for SIX counts of missuse of the 9-1-1 service. I wonder if she was so drunk that the only phone number she remembered was 9-1-1...

Sheesh! These criminals haven't learned a thing... Going to Prison is BAD for Criminals... Breaking INTO Prison is worse for them... yet, these guys broke IN to seal Prison TVs Why?

You know what, G.I. Joe Season 2 is coming out on Tuesday April 27th. They're final episodes of the Sunbow Series. (G.I. Joe the movie would end the Sunbow Era of GI Joe.)

This season marks the end of GI Joe as I knew it... First off we have the lamest character ever added to the Cobra Roster. Serpentor... Why the Hell was he created? He commands way more than Cobra Commander, he is ten times more annoying AND stupider than Cobra Commander... Also Serpentor's creation gave birth to Cobra La... The ShangriLa of Snakemen... also is part of the lamest battlecry EVER...

-COBRA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!


As the rest of the Sunbow series there is a combination of plausible fantastic and Waay bizarre episodes that make reference to older episodes of Season 1 (some continuity in a cartoon form the 80s? Madness!!!) The Addition of Serpentor has always bugged me. I found out that Hasbro created Serpentor solely to sell more toys (Duh! they're a Toy company.) What I mean is that Hasbro forced Serpentor upon the cartoon writers, comic writers, etc.
Yes Serpentor is the point where GI Joe starts the downward Spiral... WHere did it lead to?

While the theme song isn't that bad... (A Real American Hero kicks it's butt all the way to next Thursday.)

Now I wonder will Serpentor ever make it to the Live Action Movies? I only hope that GI Joe, the Rob Leifeld Edition never sees the light of day EVER AGAIN!! Just becaus eyou add the word "EXTREME" to the title does not make it so.

So as the "great" Serpentor would say: Keep Reading my blog!! THIS I COMMAND!!!

Jim Cameron wants us to return to Pandora...

Avatar comes out on DVD this week. Blegh! Avatar - #D, Surround Sound, Ginormous screen = Crap... Ok Bigger crap.
But that's not all... He's bringing the movie once again in August with NEW FOOTAGE!! Before you start painting your faces blue and using your hair to plug into your pets let me finish... It's just 6 Minutes of New Footage...
Not only that he is planning for 2 NEW movies... I hope that the Governator will Terminate Cameron ASAP!! BTW the Sequel will be at the beach/ocean of Pandora...

Here come the Men in Black... Please Neuralize me! Make me forget Pandora or MIIB!! Wait what!? You're going to do MIIIB in 3D...
Supposedly the Borat/Brüno is going to be in it... UGH! another unnecesary sequel using the gimmicky 3D...

Rob Letterman is going to direct the movie in which Taylor Lautner's blood and innards are made of corn syrup... Stretch Armstrong...
Who's he? The guy who directed Monsters vs Aliens, Shark Tale... Now add Nicholas Stoller, the Director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall... The guy who wrote the screenplays to Yes Man, Fun with Dick and Jane...
The movie might be funny and will give Team Jacob Twihards some Stretchy 3-D Jacob Black to drool for.

I wish I was married right now to trade my marriage to Mephisto in order to erase Avatar from existance...

A very Special It came from the Toy Chest

Now that the whole "Lyngate" and "WeaponsPakgate" are over I'll move on to my second Marvel related It Came from the Toy Chest...
It's a Toys R' Us Exclusive for the Marvel Universe Line... (I wish I could Review Marvel Legends here.)



BTW Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four hates this box set...

Three Little Superheroes awaitng to be reviewed, but first they need to be free form their cardboard and plastic prison.


As you can see they have some range of Articulation and now I'll discuss each character on its own.


I'll Start with ICEMAN! Who incredibly enough is NOT a repaint of the Wolverine Origins Iceman. He is actually a repaint of the Marvel Universe Symbiote Spidey.
Icey's got a ball joint head, a cut on his torso, ball joint shoulders, bicep swivel, single joint elbows, rotating wrists. The legs are not on a ball joint but have a nice range of motion. Double Jointed knees and a pseudo ball joint on the feet (Like the Joe Figures) 3.5

Paint apps/Sculpt: The only new sculpt is the head that has the blocky Iceman look. The paint is simple and creates the frosty/icy effect on Iceman 4.5

Accessories: 0

Overall Score for Iceman: 2.6


Next on the List is SPIDER-MAN... the main star of the show. Again he's a repaint from the Marvel Universe... wait for it... Spider-Man figure!! Spidey's got a ball joint head, a cut on his torso, waist rotation, ball joint shoulders, bicep swivel, single joint elbows, rotating wrists (unlike his MU counterpart mine can spin without feeling too stiff to the point of breakage.). The legs are not on a ball joint but have a nice range of motion. Double Jointed knees and a pseudo ball joint on the feet (Like the Joe Figures) (yes I copied and pasted from Iceman) 4.0

Paint: Lighter colors than the standard MU Spider-Man, the wash on the webs is a little sloppy on his right arm. 4.5

Accessories: 0
Overall 2.83

Firestar is the last character on the List. (Yes I've heard of Ladies first, but there is also saving the Best for last.) Angie's got a ball joint head, a cut on her torso (beneath her mammaries), waist rotation, ball joint shoulders, bicep swivel, single joint elbows, rotating wrists. The legs are not on a ball joint but have a nice range of motion. Double Jointed knees and a pseudo ball joint on the feet (Like the Joe Figures) 4.0

Paint: Her paint is flawless, there is shading in her hair, no slop or color bleed on her... and her paint job is a bit hard to screw up except on her face. (Luckily the one I got had flawless a paint job) 5.0
Overall 3.0


Box Set Overall 2.81 While most of it is pure repaint (I wouldn't put past hasbro that Firestar is using the basic female body with a new head.) I cannot ignore the fact that Firestar is Exclusive to the box set. As a child of the 80s I cannot let this 3 pack slide... +.19
Adding Nostalgia to the mix the Spider-Friends 3 pack is a 3.0

Again I despise the little guys and had this pack been in ML scale I'd be over it the same way Edward is all over Bella.

There will be a Mary Jane figure released for the Marvel Universe line... (Hasbro keeps catering to the 3 3/4 yet nothing on the 6 inchers...) and she'll come with Ms. Lion... Another nod to the Amazing Friends...

People who celebrate on Evil Lyn day:

Sure this day is more important to some people, but to me It's Evil Lyn day... If I'm able to get one on matty. Now while I wait for the gates of Mattel to open here's some people who celebrate more important stuff.

James Franco: You probably know him as Harry Osborn, who lost his job... wait They killed him on Spider-Man 3 so Spidey 4 being cancelled does nothing to him... He's 32.

Hayden Christensen: Who? The dude from Jumper... Ok Mannequin Skywalker. Ugh! It's not that I "Hate" Hayden's performance... It's just that Jar Jar on Episode 1 was way better than him on AotC and RotS... (Eps II and III)

Tim Curry: The concierge from the Plaza Hotel in Home Alone 2, Wadsworth in Clue, The Russian guy that harrassed Amy (Good Gorilla) in Congo, Long John Silver in Muppet Treasure Island, Kilo Khan's voice in Super Humna Samurai Cyber Squad, The bad guy from Ferngully, Still no Idea?

No this topic wasn't an excuse to use this clip... OK it was...

The guy from Monster Garage that married and cheated on Sandra Bullock and is named aftera famous outlaw... Jesse... James!!

So happy birthday to them or something... Maybe I'll do this every Matty Day... I dunno.

It Came From The Toy Chest!!! War Machine

Ok it's not so much as an extravagganza but I did get the Iron Man 2 Movie War Machine (I normally hate these little guys because they killed Marvel Legends, but I need something to keep myself occupied till "Lyngate" (Today is when Mattycollector.com will sell Evil Lyn. if you're interested... I hope not cause I need to get mine...GRR!!! Just kidding...)


As you can see the package for Iron Man 2 toys is cool looking (They need to grab the kids' attention after all) There is something I'd like to point out... The words: MOVIE SERIES. They're there to help people ID the series because the Iron Man 2 line has: Movie Series with designs from the movies, Comic series, with designs straight from the comics, and CONCEPT Series: The mostly weird and sometimes silly Toyetic versions of a character. (Miley Cyrus' Peeping Tom Iron Man Armor and Meyerpire Sparkling Armor would fall in this category)


Heeeeeere's Rhodey! and this is what he's got:
2 Gattling Guns (one normal and the fugly OversizedMissile Launcher version. I hate the missile launchers and the oversized missiles. At least it's not GI JOE ROC oversized.)
2 Oversized missiles.
3 Cards with some numbers on them... (and a link that redirects you to marvel comics) they look cool on the stand included.
a REEEALLY short ammo belt that can be used with any of the 2 guns.


Rhodey can move! His head movement is a bit limited and gets worse when his guns are in firing position. His shoulderpads are hinged to allow some movement on his arms.
The arms have the "Hasbro Elbow" (a ball joint on the elbow that eliminates the bicep swivel)
His wrists rotate. (since Rhodey's left hand is open to simulate a repulsor blast when you rotate his wrist it almost looks like Rhodey is doing the Beauty Pageant salute.)His torso rotates and he's got Ball joints on the hips (VEERY TIGHT on my fig.) Double jointed knees and "Joe Feet" (hinged ball joint on the ankles.) are the rest of the articulation on this figure. As a bonus his guns can move from a "firing" position to an "at ease" position thanks to 2 hinges on his back.

Now for the scores: As usual the scale is 1-5 with 1 being a junky piece of plastic that not even McD would want that on their happy meals and 5 is a gift from the Toy Gods...
Overall: Warmachine gets a 4.67

Articulation: 4.5 True that Rhodey has Articulation up the wazoo, but the Extremely tight ball joints on his hips reduce partially his leg movement. Also the little range of motion on his head harms him a bit.
Paint Job: 5.0 It's very hard to paint a figure that small with that much detail without having a sloppy paint job. fortunately my figure has zero sloppy paint job (If it does it's unnoticeable.) He's got some numbers probably to ID the amor that were tampographed.

Accessories: 4.5 I might hate the missiles but they're a kid pleaser... What I think that sucks is the little ammo belt... Almost always pops off.

Now If Hasbro could take this little guy and make a 6 inch version of it that DIDN'T SUCK!! then that would rule!

Stay tuned because I have another Marvel surprise up my sleeve... maybe after "Lyngate"

Put on some glasses say something witty while We don't get fooled again plays in the background.

If you haven't gotten the (not so) subtle clues I have... *puts on sunglasses* a beef with Horatio Caine...
♪Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!♫


Ahhh! Horatio Caine... What I should start with? The Glasses? The one Liners? The Shatner-esque delivery?
Ok how about this: Horatio is a shatnerized and seagalized version of Gil Grissom.
Anyone remember Gil Grissom? The guy from CSI... The ORIGINAL CSI... the one in Las Vegas? Still nothing? Played by William Petersen... Ugh! I give up.


Yes Horatio is a more over the top version of Gil Grissom. Instead of the quirky nerdy appeal that Grissom had, Horatio has a more action oriented appeal and a couple of gimmicks.
Gimmicks? Yes Gimmicks:
Hands on hips stance, Glasses, Shatner-esque... overly dramatic pause with hints of overacting. ♪Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahh!!!♫
Those are David Caruso's gimmicks to keep Horatio "Interesting".

Also Horatio is a one liner hogger. In the Original CSI the other cast members (besides Grissom) had their chance with one liners... Especially Greg.

I mean Horatio is a former homicide detective, arson specialist, former bomb squad officer... Can we say Seagal much? He's actually not that relevant to the show. Honestly I just watch the first minute of CSI Miami and I'm already sick of the guy. (Though I love making Horatio impressions mostly because they're stupid.) I don't mind the rest of the cast though. It's HORATIO CAINE the one who grinds my gears.

I hate Season six's finale... It made me believe that Horatio was dead... I remember watching the promo and my mom was like: "Holy crap! They killed Horatio" Then I lied down on the floor like Horatio and said: "I'm not dead... I'm using an old Indian trick to see if there are horses nearby!!"

Unfortunately for me Horatio was alive and kicking. Meanwhile Th Original CSI is without Grissom... They have Morpheus in it, but... Morpheus is no Grissom... Last thing I saw with Laurence Fishburne in it was TMNT... (You thought I was going to say the Matrix since I mentioned Morpheus a few times didn't cha'?)He was the narrator and he started talking about the TMNT and it appears that he was high or something because he ended up telling us the story of some monsters and ancient Aztec generals and the movie went downhill from there...

and that is why I don't go to a day spa with an octopus. What? I was trying to see if changing the theme rapidly would make this rant more interesting...
Laurence Fishburne can do it... Oh well! Looks like... *takes off sunglasses* My time... has run out!

Odds and ends Apr. 13 2010

I stand corrected, THERE ARE Phineas and Ferb toys available. They are mostly plushes, but they have a Perry the Platypus (Agent P) Plushie with sounds. There is also a Doctor Doofenshmirtz plushie. Not only that but they have a Transforming Perry/ Agent P plush toy.

By the Power of Grayskull I HAVE SOME WRITERS!!!
MOTU movie has found its writers and none of them is Justin Marks!!! Mike Finch and Alex Litvak are the writers (they did the script for Predators.)

Now These guys will have the pleasure of working with Mattel, who seems to drag their feet with their brands when it comes to adapting toys into something else. (Max Steel movie anyone?)

And in MOTU's case they've an elaborate history for the characters but never intended to be used beyond the action figure cardbacks. (not as a graphic novel or anything else.) THough they admit that they've mishmashed a bunch of stuff using the 200X cartoon and the toys card backs.
Or so said Scott "ToyGuru" Neitlich from Mattel. (He's the MOTU Brand Manager IIRC. Aka the guy showing the Orko Water Trick on the last Action Figure Woes)

I haven't had some hey what the!? in a while well here is one:
Man stalks rattler and kills it.
In a Steve Irwin fused with Bear Grylls move a Florida man stlaked a diamondback rattler (6-ft of poisonus snake) and killed it in order to protect his neighbors and pets. BTW the guy rassles gators.

This is a diamondback rattler.

This is what the "Snake Killer" does occasionally. (not the same person as in the article)

This is what I thought of when I read the title of the Article...
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go through the rain and feed from a Tree frog...

Action Figure Woes #3 SDCC Exclusive.

Con exclusives are a way that Toy companies promote new product at certain conventions like San Diego Comic Con. Remember the Twilight article? (Twilight Ruined Comic Con picture?) well that Comic Con. This year will probably be full with twihards because of either Eclipse or Breaking fail Vol 1. That is not why I'm ranting. Mattel's Comic Con MOTUC exclusive this year is:


You know that scene in 40-year old virgin? The one in which Steve Carell gets his chest waxed? Yes the one in which he spills out a bunch of expletives. Well I did that without the body wax. Why?
Prince Adam is a Comic Con exclusive Figure... Well a Comic Con Exclusive Accessory to be precise...

I personally don't mind Comic Con exclusives When they are NOT KEY characters to one's collection. Previous MOTU SDCC Exclusives like He-Ro or King Grayskull, while cool they are not exactly KEY characters... Prince Adam on the other hand...


Ok, Who is the very first character that appears on this video? After you press play...
If you said Adam, Prince of Eternia and Defender of the Secrets of Castle Grayskull, then you get a no-prize!!
That's as Key charcater as you can get, Adam is freaking He-Man!! Thanks Mattel for punishing us fans that can't grab a flight to San Diego + Hotel stay + SDCC attendance fee + long lines for exclusives just to have A CHANCE to get the figure. Hopefully they will be made available through Mattycollector. (Orko losing his color changing ability and eliminating the SDCC spellbook and maybe Adam is still available with Orko.)

Having Key characters as hard to get (without paying ludicrous scalper prices)exclusives sucks a lot...

The toys look fantastic, I just wish for a bit of more availability in this Key Character... Had it been Gygor, Eldor, Horde Supreme, Handsome, or a 200X He-Man I wouln't be this annoyed... (Ok if 200X He-man was the SDCC I would've been a bit annoyed.) Here's hoping that Adam, even if he is Orko-less. (still Orko is a key character, but Adam is more important, just by a little bit.)


Even when He-Man went to Space the intro has Adam first...


Even in 2002 Adam is still the first character from the intro...

So remember kids, don't feed the scalpers.

What I'd like toys of:

I love toys. If I didn't I wouldn't have the It came from the Toy Chest section. I've commented how I'd love to see movie adaptations of toys, tv shows, etc. Now I'm going to talk about tv shows, games, movies, etc. that could have awesome toys.


MythBusters:
A five figure wave with a build-a-dummy would be kinda cool:
Jamie Hyneman he could come with a Ballistics gel bust and a rifle.
Adam Savage he could come with the "red safety suit" and random items to hit Adam with.
Tori Belleci random objects for Tori to get hurt with.
Grant Imahara some tools, laptop and pieces for a robot
Kari Byron guns and the claw from the floating girl on balloons myth
With them you can (re)assemble Buster
If they were made as Vintage G.I. Joes (60s-70s the twelve inchers with "realistic hair" then Jamie needs real hair for his mustache.)

Steve Urkel:
This would be cool as a doll with electronic sounds and phrases:
"Did I do that?" "Hideeho Winslows!" and his laugh.
Say what!? There WAS an URKEL DOLL!? No freaking way...
Way...
Ok well something that can be in the same scale as Barbie, or High School Musical dolls. Wow... they really did make an Urkel doll... Then again Urkel HAD his own breakfast cereal.

Metal Gear Solid Series:
Before you say Todd McFarlane made some of those. Let me remind you that Todd Mc Farlane made some of those. Brittle, irregularly articulated glorified statues.
I'm saying some action figures that you can create your armies for Snake/Raiden/Big Boss to sneak through AND have Metal Gears IN-Scale with the figs. Something in the 3and 3/4" scale.

House M.D.
You have to admit that an Action Figure of House would be 100% awesomer thanHeroes figs... OK maybe Hiro is cool or Sylar, but Mohinder? (Says the guy who wants Queen Marlena for his MOTUC, or Robbie Ray for his Hannah Montana collection.)
A Dr House in the 6"-7" scale with 18-28 PoA... Awesome to the 9000th power.

Thundercats:
Yes, I know that in the 80s there was a Thundercats Line (made by LJN if I recall correctly... Eww! LJN games!!!) Just Picture a Thundercats line with Modern Sculpt and Articulation. It's already making me want to scream Thundercats!!! HOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!! (also seeing that most of the big 80s toylines have received an update, the T-cats should get theirs.)

Legend of Zelda:
Link (the multiple Links), Ganon (Both "Pig" Ganon and the Ganondorf), Zelda (the Multiple Zeldas) and many of the beasts that populate Hyrule would be awesome. If we got a Triforce as well... Please no NAVI!! but yes to TINGLE!! (I have a Love-Hate relationship with Tingle)

Phineas and Ferb:

That's why... I'd get a Doctor Doofenshmirtz for Perry to fight. (can't beleive that a P&F action figure line hasn't been made.)

Darkstalkers:
The SOTA toys DS line was cancelled and it looked freaking sweet. Such a shame that Capcom's second best fighting game series once again got the short end of the stick. I want some Morrigan, Lilith, Demitri, BB Hood and others.

That would be the top 8 lines of toys that I'd like to see. There are a lot more, but I'll stick with these 7 for now...

Annoying ads that haunt my subconscious.

Ads are a necessary evil. They make us want crap that we don't need. Some of them are crappy others are good. Some are annoying and haunt my subconscious. (either by having a catchy tune or something else.)

Let's start the list with:

I've been humming ♪Ice cream and cake and cake♫ for a while. The song is catchy, annoying and can't get it out of my head. It's also making me crave Ice Cream and Cake... this reminds me of another song by the buckwheat boyz. That song is catchy and annoying as well.

Now this one is not as catchy, but there are so many different advertisements (sometimes shown back to back) that bring a chill to my soul. I'm talking about Car insurance ads. Some are less annoying than others.

Progressive They are not THAT annoying unless they are bunched together. (rarely happens.) This one in particular has stuck with me for a while in my subconscious since everyone loves TACOS!)
The Geico cavemen were so popular that got a TV show (which sank faster than the Titanic). The first few ads were somewhat funny in a sophisticated kind of way. (with a tinge of social criticism about racism.) They are annoying (I chose the least annoying one.) but there is something FAR more annoying than the Geico Cavemen... no, not the Geico Gecko.

The money with eyes ANNOYS ME to no end!! I miss Don LaFontaine... R.I.P. Mr. Movie voiceover man...

Infomercials:
Yes I have a soft spot for these especially those that start with the: HI! BILLY MAYS HERE! We miss you Billy! Oxiclean ads are not the same without you. Not even Anthony Sullivan (Who I confuse with Ron Poppeil and I don't know why.) can make the Oxiclean ads as cool as you. I don't like the new Oxiclean female voice they are using now. But back on the annoying infomercials:

The ShamWow jerk. That guy IS annoying. He acts like a douchebag that's trying to be funny (also he's ripping off Billy Mays' ads selling products similar to Billy's)

I know I mentioned this one before. It's annoying, but at least it's not Jared.

TV show promos: Not only they force the end credits on shows to be on Fast Forward and squashed to one side, they appear CONSTANTLY on TV. Sometimes on different Networks (if they have the same "Parent Network", Like MTV and Nickelodeon, VH1 and MTV, etc.)

The new season doesn't even start till summer and now I have to endure this little ad OVER AND OVER... (Even I'm starting to get sick of her.) Worse than that are the TBS Saved by the Bell promos.
I'm So excited!

I'd better get the slow-mo version of this ad.