Videogame Woes

Although most of my reviews are Toy related, I also am a gamer. Here's a list of stuff that games do that makes me grind my gears:

Forced Backtracking: I've spent most of the game going from Point A to Point B threading through enemies, bosses, an entire city, or continent in some cases just to be greeted by a "you need to go all the way back to the beginning to get the item or to do this mission, etc.
To mention some offenders from the top of My Mind:
Metal Gear Solid: Backtracking ALL the way to the Armory to get the PSG-1 needed to beat Sniper Wolf while Meryl lies there bleeding to death...


GTA Series: The "Help character X who is on the other side of the city" type of missions... Vice City's Death Row comes to mind...

JRPGs also LOVE to do this... before you get the airship that makes it easier to travel... I am forgetting the KING of Backtracking...


Escorting USELESS Morons/ AI PArtner is brain dead:
Do you have any idea how Many Times I wanted to Kill Emma in Metal Gear Solid 2 or Ashley in Resident Evil 4? A LOT... Let's say that whenever I play that game on PS2 I choose Mobster outfit for Leon, just to avoid dealing with Ashley... cause she gets the invulnerable Armor!
At least EVA was somewhat useful on Snake Eater... When she wasn't groaning out of hunger, shooting me in the back or moaning about a dog...

VAMP stole my chance to do that myself!!
but back to the rant... It seems that the AI of your partners is in permanent Moron mode... They see the enemy, they get between me and them so it makes it harder for me to protect them.
The GTA Games are full of these too... Have Partner, gets in the way of your bullets.

Moronic AI, love it on the Yu-Gi-Oh! Tag Force games... When they're my opponents, they seem to always pull the right cards to screw me over... When they are my partners they seem to always pull the right cards to screw me over... You read right... Tag Dueling, 3 against me...

SNK BOSS Syndrome:
Guess which company makes some cheap as hell bosses that it gets it's own term... SNK...

I already talked about Seth and a bit on Gill (who are Capcom bosses with a bit of SNK BOSS Syndrome)
Other Bosses can be SNK cheap, but have a kinda glaring weakness... Now I know and knowing is half the battle!

Nagging NPCs telling me what to do or for crap:
Obvious Navi Reference is obvious. This time I'm talking about the GTA IV NPCs pestering Niko to do stuff... Roman, Little Jacob, Packie, etc. Keep calling you at random times to go do menial stuff while I'm in the middle of a firefight or trying to dodge the cops... I don't mind it too much when I'm NOT in missions, but when I'm in missions it gets annoying... I guess making a Rosemary calling Raiden about April 30th reference comes to mind.

Getting hit sends me flyin' to my DOOM!!!!
Old School Castlevania and Ninja Gaiden come to mind here.


DUCK HUNT DOG!!

'Nuff said!

It came from the Toy Chest: in 10 seconds flat!

I got the Fastest Pony in all Equestria... Rainbow Dash!! To help me with this review I hired an Expert in Ponies, Spike, the Baby Dragon...

This is a serious review unlike my normal ICFTTC which have a bit of lame attempts at humor. Rainbow Dash is my second MLP:FIM Pony... Pinkamena Diane Pie was my very first Pony...

Will you stop that, Spike! I will Not make any references to the Plot or how the fandom thinks that RD might possibly be a lesbian pony... Although she DID have a Wingboner when Pinkie Pie... OK Spike, Roll the clip

As always, 1 = crap and 5 = Something more awesome than the Grand Galloping Gala!

Articulation:
Dashie (That's how Pinkie Pie calls her) only has 1 Point of Articulation and is due to the rooted hair. I already complained about the Ponies' lack of articulation before. Almost 30 years and no improvement in the POA!As anAction Figure collector Rainbow Dash would get a 1 here... but since it's the MLP Standard that would translate to a 4 in a MLP collector scale.

Paint and sculpt:
Well there's not much to talk here... She's pretty much molded in light blue and the extra stuff is tampographed. Her eyes have a gentler kinder expression, more like Fluttershy than Rainbow Dash... Her sculpt is similar to the standard MLP stuff... Although she's got a permanent Wingboner. The rooted hair makes her look Completely NOT show Accurate... She's got the G3 Rainbow Dash hairdo...(AKA the Rarity Hairdo) 2


Accessories:
Here's where Show accuracy has been thrown off the window... Why is Rainbow Dash pulling a carriage!? that's what Earthponies do! What's with the Squirrel? Rainbow Dash is a loner! If she was getting a sidekick she should've gotten that chicken pony, Scootaloo!
She also has a pink comb... 2

Overall:
This one is a bit tough... Had she looked more like THIS she would've gotten a higher score...
1.67 as an Action Figure... 2.67 as a Pony... using the MLP curve.

Rainbow Dash herself said it perfectly...
Dammit! I'm still thinking about chopping RD's hair to FIM length... Whwe! made it through the whole review without a Cupcakes reference! D'oh!

It Came from the Toy Chest: I'll giggle at the ghosty

Pinkie Pie is SO RANDOM and so mine too! I got a Pinkie Pie!!

Pinkie Pie is my very first Pony EVER!! Sure I've had a few encounters with the ponies in the 80s, but the Magic that is MLP: Friendship is magic has made me love them... Now If Y'all remember I've talked about the ponies before...

So in the words of the late Mills Lane: Let's get it on!
5= good 1= crap!

Articulation:
Pinkie only has 1 Point of Articulation and is due to the rooted hair. I already complained about the Ponies' lack of articulation before. Almost 30 years and no improvement in the POA!As an Action Figure collector Pinkie would get a 1 here... but since it's the MLP Standard that would translate to a 4 in a MLP collector scale.

Paint and sculpt:
Well there's not much to talk here... She's pretty much molded in pink and the extra stuff is tampographed. Her sculpt is similar to the standard MLP stuff... The rooted hair makes her look not too show Accurate... 3

Accessories:
Here's where Show accuracy has been thrown off the window... First of all NO GUMMY!!

I guess that a toothless Alligator is NOT marketable for little girls... The real target audience for them ponies.

Well Pinkie Pie has a comb, a saddle and a yellow mouse... As an action figure collector Pinkie gets a 1 but converting it to MLP Standard 3

Overall:
As an Action Figure collector, Pinkie is an absolute failure: 1.67 (Going through the same standard gauge as ML, Joes, Transformers, MOTUC, etc.) BUT the scale is different for MLP collectors. (They're more used to the lack of Articulaion, the rooted hair that makes everypony look like Rarity... or in Pinkie's case Pinkamena Diane Pie...) but the Lack of Show accurate accessories DOES hurt her a bit and her MLP score would be: 3.33 The lack of Show accurate accessories did hurt her a bit.

Since I mentioned Giggle at the Ghosty

It came from the Toy Chest: King Randor is getting some tonight

King Randor is Smiling once more...

While he may have lost his job as a Corporate Mascot he still has plenty of reason to be smiling... Mattel and the 4Horsemen have finally done something that has NEVER Been done before... a Queen Marlena Action Figure!! She was the SDCC 2011 MOTUC Exclusive.
Well I finally got mine! (Technically it's a Marlena Glenn Figure, but with a bit of parts swapping I can have the Queen of Eternos... in her Green Filmation garb!!)

Well where do I start... Ratings, 5 is awesome and 1 is crap... yeah! We'll start with that...

Articulation:
Captain Glenn is using the 1.0 Buck and we've already seen what it can do... Nothing new here...
Her Astronaut dress does not hinder her movement. Now her Queen Dress makes her a statue from the neck down. (Except her arms)
Captain Glenn: 4.0 Queen Marlena: 2.0
Paint and Sculpt:
She's Mostly a She-Ra (figure without her dress) from the neck down. Her Astronaut dress is similar to the Adora dress. and her Queen Dress is brand new. Paintwise she's OK. Very little slop, but there seems to be some incomplete/weird paint applications...
HER EYES!! They look dead thanks to the weird choice in makig them just a black dot.
She looks like she's wearing too much eyeliner on her Astronaut head, While the queen head has a bit of paint missing on her hair. Her Scepter seems to be missing some paint.
3.0
Accessories:
She's got:
Extra Queen Head
Queen Dress
2 Piece Helmet
Repaint of Battleground Teela's Sword
Repaint of Adora's gun and Holster
a 1987 Movie Inspired Rifle
CRINGER!!

The dresses are easy to swap. The Tab system works better than expected. Everything else is normal stuff... weapons, Extra head... She gets a 5.0

Overall:
Captain Glenn Mode: 4.0
Queen Marlena Mode: 3.33
Here's the thing: While Marlena loses a LOT of Articulation in Queen Mode, she still looks awesome... (a bit pissed off, but the Horsemen are NOT perfect) So, having the Entire Royal Family of Eternos outweighs the cons in my mind...

Now Cringer... he's the $5 fig in this 2-pack... Now what can I say about him?
He's very Filmation-like. He's a bit too small (I know Logistics and stuff...) and Underarticulated...

I mean we have a Cringer that cannot cower in fear... But at least it's a Cringer that is NOT Naked Battle Cat...

Dear Princess Celestia: Ponies for Bronies

This is the first Official My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic related article. (I've made a few references before, but not gone with a full article...)

Instead of talking about the show, which is REALLY awesome! WATCH IT! I'm gonna talk about the toys.

If you click on the links you'll see two examples of MLP:FIM toys... and you will notice something... They have NO Articulation... To be fair My Little Ponies are not known for their incredible articulation. (it's been that way since the 80s IIRC) Now this brings forth the whole point of this rant... Moderately Articulated MLP:FIM Figures!! Or as I'd like to call them Ponies for Bronies!

Pony made on the Pony Creator by General Zoi (modified by me to show the POA)
That's pretty much what I'd like to see:

If I can recreate many of the poses from the Evil Enchantress song I'd be happy!
Pegasi like Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy would get hinged ball joints for their wings.

Since the Ponies come with accessories the Ponies for Bronies would be no exception, now here's my list of accessories for Each Pony:
Twilight Sparkle: A Book and Spike (with Quill and Parchment to write to Princess Celestia)
and NO, Spike wouldn't be as articulated as the ponies...
Fluttershy: Angel the bunny, the hat and glasses she wore in the Episode Green isn't your Color to avoid the paparazzi.
Rarity: Opalesence, a basket full of gems and her glasses
Apple Jack: Hat (obviously), Rope, Winona, and an apple basket.
Rainbow Dash: Sonic Rainboom "flight stand"
Pinkie Pie: Cupcake on a plate, rubber chicken from Dragonshy, and this:


Sure some Variants could be made (Sonic Rainboom Rarity, You gotta Share You gotta Care Pinkie Pie, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Floppy horn Twilight Sparkle, etc.) but we'd need the "Mane six" before worrying about everypony on the show...

The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo has a lot of guns!

I've been Playing Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots for a while and after beating the game here are my thoughts:
Well not here here... I need to set a bit of background on the game before I ramble on and on about it.

This game is a Sequel to Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty and possibly to Metal Gear Rising
The game is set 5 years after the Manhattan (Arsenal Gear coming from underneath the Big Shell and crashing into the Federal Hall) incident.

The one where a pretty boy kills the former President of the United States...

War has changed, Now instead of Armies, the countries use Private Military Corps... The world's economy is mostly fueled by war... a world in "Eternal chaos" where soldiers have a place to be... an Eternal Battlefield... This almost sounds like...

-Outer Heaven!?

Great! looks like I have an unwanted Guest!

-Unwanted Guest!?

You can come out of the Box, Snake! As I was saying:

Snake no longer looks SOLID... It looks like OLD IS Snake...
and we're tossed in the Middle East... was this to poke fun at the excessive amount of "war games" set in the Middle East? Probably. First thing I noticed is that Controls have changed... They no longer feel Metal Gear-like... they feel more like MODERN FPS mixed with Metal Gear...

-Metal Gear!?

Yes, Snake... Now shut up and Smoke... or else I'll have Sunny make some eggs!

As I was saying... The controls might have changed, but this STILL IS a Metal Gear game. Sneaking = Good, getting Spotted = Bad! Basically you're tossed in the Middle east to assassinate...



Uh, Snake? This is the part that you interrupt me to scream LIQUID!! at the top of your lungs...
Well, you are to assassinate Liquid Snake, the talking arm that lives in Ocelot's body. No there is no "I LIVE ON THROUGH THIS ARM!" clip...
Story, Story, Look down, back up! You're in South America now, trying to sneak into a mansion due to Storyline reasons. Some Story later you're in Eastern Europe following some whistling dude across the city. Story stuff... BOOM!


-A Surveillance camera!?

We're back in Shadow Moses! Some plot later We're on... I have no idea where we ended up...

and that brings up my First complaint about the game: It feels too disjointed. Looks like Hideo Kojima got too ambitious trying to cram all these different backdrops into one game. The story is the one tiny thread that binds them together... in some parts barely.
Having the game split up like that kinda feels like a huge PSP MGS game...

Now to the Review part: 1=crap 10= awesome!!!
Graphics:
Obviously since it's a current game and a Metal Gear Solid game, the Graphics are pretty good. Like in The Third Metal Gear Game (Metal Gear Solid) there are some Live action elements mixed with the game (See the Evil Egg scenes) that does throw me off a bit since most of the game uses the same gameplay graphics for the cutscenes... (Not like SquareEnix who loves to abuse the FMV)
9

Gameplay:

This is very important... This and Fun Factor... but FF get's it's own part later.
At it's core THIS IS a Metal gear game, so the standard Elements are there. It does throw a few twists like the Tailing a character which has NOT been seen on a Metal Gear Game since Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. the controls have been tweaked, so it takes a bit of time to get used to. Once you do, It's golden... NOT going to spoil a super secret Boss Battle... the game is a few years old they probably know about it...
9.5
Story: Now this is the biggest selling point for the game... Next to the gameplay. It did brought an end to the story, but it left enough room to wiggle around some prequels... I'm Waiting for my Solidus and Liquid Games... Make it so Kojima! Now the story felt a tad iffy... Especially with Nanomachines being the ultimate scapegoat. I have to admit that ACT 4 was a masterful exercise in pulling the Nostalgia factor up to 100
8
Fun Factor:
While there is a ton of junk to collect, most of the fun comes from messing around with the soldiers... Unless you play Metal Gear Online... You can get some more fun out of that, but as I said before... I'm more of the anti-social gamer... I'd rather play with another player in the same room as I am instead of across the globe.
7

Overall: 8.38

I think the game being disjointed and the few issues with the story hurt it's score a bit. Personally the game could've been split into 2 and flesh out each of them a bit more.

Odds and ends: Finally I got a Marlena Shipping confirmation

Not exactly the Biggest news ever, but I Finally got the Shipping Confirmation fro Captain Marlena Glenn. Let's see if she can come out of the toy chest in August.

Damn you Milla Jovovich. WE DO NOT WANT RE-INO 5!! The previous 3 movies were steaming piles of Zombie Turd... Unless they kill Alice by The Las Plagas, I'm not interested in this.

Holy bad driving, Batman! Catwoman nearly kills a camera while Filming Baledog Rises!
The suit needs more cat ears to be a Catwoman suit... Anne, darling, the suit needs more cat ears, otherwise it's a bad Baroness costume that you're wearing...

Tony's back, man! Joo better read dis in Al Pacino's bad cooban accent from Scarface, man!
He's gonna be back on top, man! or at least in 475 movie theatres across the States! Joo wanna play rough? OK! say 'ello to a Gnagsta audience!

A wild dog repellent that the Internet version of Bear Grylls would love! Scientists are studying Dingo pee in order to make a synthetic pee-based Dingo repellant.

If Resident Milla 5 was bad enough, the cast of Jersey Shore will be on the 3 Stooges movie... Do I need to elaborate on this... This Abomination!? Right now, I wish I could be distracted with something more awesome... like Thundercats or My Little Pony: Friendship is magic...

It came from the Toy Chest: Buttered up for Jim Henson

Awful Clawful is here!

He made one quick stop to visit Captain Paintbrush... Now that I think of it All 3 characters who shared the "Lizard/Bee/Crab" Body were visited by Captain Paintbrush...

Unlike the Other 2 where the visit was on their bodies... Clawful got a visit for an Eyebrow plucking treatment...

IF/When Mermista is available, I shall use this for a joke...
Before I start with the Review I have to say this: Finally a Clawful ACTION FIGURE that does NOT look like a Mexican Wrestler with a Crab Motif... While he truly looked like a Crab Monster in 200X, he never had an ACTION FIGURE... Now with MOTUC, his Crabby self is more Crabby, less Rey Mysterio.

Now, for the review I will use A Mattel Stock Photo of Clawful cause I was too eager to eliminate the Muppet Brows that I customized before taking the pics! My bad!

Look at him! He looks like a Muppet... That's why I don't use the Vintage Whiplash head...

Mandatory Muppet Video with a touch of Cyrus... Don't make me play the Ponies!!

I did not play any Pony videos on this article... BTW DO NOT READ CUPCAKES!!!

Articulation:

He's got the Standard MOTUC Articulation, mine has Clawfully loose ankles. His Large, meaty claw has an Articulation point that is rendered useless by the action feature. (No open claw display)

4.0
Paint and sculpt:

The reuse of the Whiplash body and Buzz-Off claw help break the "Curse of the Mexican Wrestler" on Clawful. The large, meaty claw is beautiful... They even gave him a more Crab-like back piece...

The Paint is nicely applied here. Love the red fading into his arms to avoid the Guy in a suit look. I May dislike the Black Eyebrows, the black shading inside his mouth and the pearly white teeth, but those aren't really flaws. Just design choices that I disagree with...
4.5

Accessories:

He's got his Mace... which looks a tad different than the rest of the Maces. It's a bit longer and thicker... and he's got a Crab shelled shield!? A Crab carrying an extra shell to use as a shield... That's like giving a watergun to Snout Spout... Extra head could've worked well here... (Not necessarily a 200X Head, but a more menacing, snarling head... The Classicized 200X look can almost be obtained by painting the eyebrows red...)

Some people may like the shield, but I find it too much and unneeded. It's in my extra pieces bag now... Maybe when I get Peedrink-or: Heroic Master of Crazy Survival in MOTUC he'll use it to make a shelter...
3.0

Overall: 3.83

The Lack accessories, once again hurt this score. (Your Mileage may vary.) Paintwise he's one of the best figs I've gotten. shame that he's got such loose ankles...
After the tweaks to hide the design elements that I don't like, he's a lot better now!! He is A LOT better than I expected... aside the ankles and small range of movement on his claw...

Odds and ends: Spider-Man is now half Latino/half black

Boom! Shock Value Bomb! This is not on the main universe where Peter Parker is forever a loser thanks to the lame ass Pseudo Retcon made by The Devil... I mean Joe Quesada.

Ultimate Spider-Man is Peter Parker no more... they killed him and his replacement is half black/half Latino... Miles Morales... Who the heck is Miles Morales? The newest Marketing ploy from Marvel...

We interrupt this pseudonews related rant with some PONIES!!


OK, where was I... Why is Miles Morales doomed to fail?
-First, He reeks of "Marketing Ploy" The whole big announcement stuff that made this article possible is proof enough. Like all Marketing ploys it'll eventually be shoved under the rug and quickly forgotten. (Especially if it backfires on Marvel)

-Replacing Spider-Man has been tried before and it failed... They tried to Replace Peter Parker with... Peter Parker... And that was a massive failure.

-The replacing a hero with another one of different ethnicity rarely works when it's done for shock value...

Monday was the sale for Mattycollector.com's SDCC items. I was able to sang a Marlena Glenn. The curious thing was that they HAD an All Star sale in which they were getting rid of some older figures (such as He-Man, Skeletor, She-Ra, The 4 Ghostbusters, Superman, etc.) set up for customers who discovered the site AFTER SDCC... All the way until August 15th (or the items ran out).
During Monday August 1st the All Star stuff was marked Sold out! and the Allstar Page was inaccessible during the time of the SDCC sale. Now the items are back up! WTF MATTEL!? That's ridiculous... It's like y'all want the products to fail... Kinda like the Club Infinite Earths.

Now that I mentioned Club Infinite Earths, let me get a bit deeper into it. Mattel is Killing DCUC. I mean, the line as it is is going through a reboot... kinda like DC Comics. The collector oriented characters will be on the Sub program Club Infinite Earths, while your basic Superman, Batman, GL will be in retail (most likely based on the new DC Universe designs.)

Also you'd get 3 Large scale beasts not available on Retail (They're killing the collect and connect)
Sounds fine and dandy, BUT this is the only Subscription that has a gauge that determines if this will be done or not... Unlike Voltron, Ghostbusters or MOTU... As of today the subscriptions to CIE are at a 20-something % of what they need... The sub period ends this Friday... It's official Matty is killen teh lien...