Odds and ends 4-29-21: Josh Battle Aftermath, Netherrealm rumors, and toys.

 The battle to decide who is the Ultimate Josh has been decided. For the people who have no idea what this event was, here's the explanation:

A guy named Josh challenged all people named Josh to fight on April 24th, 2021 at a random place.

People actually showed up at this place and fought to the end, where one Josh became supreme:

Joshua Vinson Jr. aged 4 became the One Josh to rule them all. Sadly, I don't know if Joshua's Jackson or Josh Peck participated in this battle.

Power-Con released a teaser... prepare your wallets to be raped:

MOTU ORANGES will have some Power-Con presence.

Red Horde Troopers, "Filmation" Hordak (expect a repaint like the crappy Mattycollector Filmation Hordak, thank you Scott, for missing the point of a Filmation Hordak!), Grizzlor of Color, and last but not least, the (in)famous Leo India Faker.

Good thing I'm not into the oranges line otherwise I would be so freaking pissed.

But for some slightly more pleasant toy news, NECA might be doing a Casey Jones 2.0:

The arms on this Casey are different. Then there's the unmasked head that kinda looks like Koteas, but also kinda looks like Chris Meloni

Netherrealm Studios, the guys behind Mortal Kombat and Injustice, are allegedly working on a Marvel Fighting game. Call me skeptical but, I believe this rumor is

Because netherrealm is closely working with Warner Brothers owners of DC Comics, I don't think Disney would allow a company working for their biggest competitors to make a game using their property. Also I'm not exactly a huge fan of Netherrealm's fighting games's style. Since I've played the last three Mortal Kombat game and the two Injustice games, I don't think that their style would fit Marvel. Hell even Capcom lost their touch on how to make a Marvel game.  

I believe that the team behing DB FighterZ might be the better candidates for a Marvel Fighting game.

Super7 TMNT Ultimates wave 5 is on!!

 And it's making it VERY HARD for me to get it...

First, the price tag of $55 per figure is making me a bit picky... I'm torn between getting Leonardo the Sewer Samurai or skipping him. Things were a lot easier when the TMNT were $4.99 (I believe in continental US they were $3.99)

Here's wave 5...

My thoughts:

Curse the $55 price tag... I'm buying 4 for almost the price of 5. 

Leonardo looks amazeballs... oh the Ghost of Tsushima references I could make on his theoretical ICftTC... the climbing cat claws, kunai, banner, oh my!!! I love him, but not $55 love him.

Ray Fillet I had as a kid. As an adult, he doesn't do much for me... he's a cool fogure and I do have a bit of Nostalgic attachment to him... especially teaming up with sewer surfin' Mike. But once again, the $55 price tag is making me recoil with disgust.

Krang is a complete disappointment. Sad part is that I WILL BUY THE RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED DICTATOR FROM DIMENSION X. At best he should be $30 item. But he's super core...

Leatherhead I Gwa-Ran-Tee that I'll get one. Never had him as a kid. The Turtles in Time version by NECA will be my first Leatherhead. Honestly I'm not impressed by this figure since it replicates all the issues from The Playmates figure. Also he looks kind of tiny.

Sadly this will be the first wave where I'll have to pick and choose what I want. The sad part is that the better figures are the ones that I'm going to have to skip because that inferior figures are more important from a Canonical perspective.

You're tearing me apart, NECA!!

 No, they aren't making The Room Ultimate figures... I'd totally buy Johnny and Mark...

They released April O'Neil...

But it was $100 and limited to 2000 pieces... just because of a press pass sogned by Judith Hoag... and was sold out before I woke up (graveyard shifter here)

I missed out on a slightly overpriced April figure... if only there was a more accessible version...

She's $30 and available... and that sounds even worse when said out loud! Sorry, Judith Hoag!!

I pre-ordered this one, obviously!! Hey waitaminute... Where's her raincoat?

What!? The raincoat is part of the 2000 piece Signature Edition!?

Why, NECA, why? YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, NECA!!!

Adding the press pass was a nifty way yo have an "exclusive variation"... but WHY HIDE THE RAINCOAT BEHIND THE 2000 PIECE EXCLUSIVE!?

This is totally going to deter scalpers...

Oh wait, it didn't...

Super7 TMNT BUNCH OF NEWS: WAVES 3,4,5

 Super7 dropped some teasers on the past few days... Wave 5 figure 3 is an unexpected surprise... Ah Gwa-Ran-Tee!

Leatherhead it's coming and I hope he's roughly Bebop sized. Seems like Rocksteady will be slightly smaller than Bebop, unfortunately.

Metalhead will get a second head with the vintage light piping effect... based on the glowy red second gead test shot here.

April will have three heads!?

The one with theheadset looks a bit like the revised vintage head or the April II head. The other head is giving me Toon April vibes... which is a good thing in my book.

Do my eyes deceive me or are those real chains in Michelangelo's nunchucks? Wave 3 is supposed to show up in Summer 2021 (translation: late Christmas Present from Past me)

Muckman and Mondo Gecko look sweet... I'll probably have to wait a bit for those since I pre-ordered them via bbts. I didn't have the money at the time to preorder via Super7. So I made a choice: Don and Casey via Super7 and the others via bbts and they'll chill in the pile of loot for a bit.

Wave 4 is supposed to be released in fall (translation early 2022)

Between NECA and Super7, it's great to be a TMNT Fan... now who's the 4th wave 5 figure?

Why 2021 is inferior to 1995? Mortal Kombat a second movie rant

 As in this is the second rant onMortal Kombat movies, not a rant about Second Mortal Kombat movies.

Sure, 1995 had a PG-13 rating and very few Asians. The star power came from French Tarzan... but it's  a million times better than 2021.

So, let me explain why 2021 MK sucked donkey dick.

Magic MK Logo marks:

The movie makes an emphasis on these Marks, making those who have them into superhuman warriors. People who lack these marks are at a "severe disadvantage" against those who have them.

How are these marks obtained? By killing a person with a MK Logo mark and it passes unto you.

Wait... They didn't want to train Sonya because she didn't have the Mark, but she effectively kills Kano before getting the Mark... 

O Tournament where art thou?

The movie makes a huge deal about the Mortal Kombat tournament yet everything that happens is before said tournament even starts. What's the point of talking about the tournament if you're not going to do the actual tournament. I know that future games ignore that tournament angle. Usually these games happen after Liu Kang wins the first Mortal Kombat blocking Outworld's Invasion on Earth, which forces Shao Kahn to bypass the tournament rules and invade Earth.

Here on the 2021 bastardization we have Shang Tsung already cheating and the tournament hasn't even started.

Liu Kang Who?

The main character in Mortal Kombat is none other than Liu Kang. In the 2021 bastardization he's nothing more than a glorified cameo. The movie follows Cole Yawn, a dull boring Store Brand Johnny Cage, that happens to be Scorpion's great great great great grandson... who happens to have a literal plot armor as a superpower. It's most likely that Cole Yawn was a studio mandate. Wait, he was? You don't say! 

Then again it's WB, the studio who loves to mess up with adaptations and then wonder why did they suck. (Except with Zack Snyder... those suck even without studio meddling.) The 2021 adaptation did Liu Kang dirty.

Story? What story? This is about a game where 2 people are beating themselves up until one gets killed in outlandish ways... WE are giving it pathos and meaning

This is why the movie fails. I've mentioned that I'm more of a fan of the Mortal Kombat lore than the actual games. This movie wipes its ass with the lore, while the 1995 movie was more faithful to it, despite the changes. Sure, the first game was basically Enter the Dragon but with Superpowers... but they had a lot of room to play with using the characters' backstories.

I know, I know, I'm talking big criticizing, but not offer any solutions... I can't offer solutions since the movie is already made and people are suggesting that Johnny Cage should be Awesome... but since I'm not a "professional writer", I can't write a script. What I can do is make a quick outline more or less telling the story I would tell for a MK movie...

I'd start with the Scorpion and Sub-zero feud, where Bi-Han under Quan Chi's orders eliminates the Shirai Ryu. The fight ends with Hasashi dying and reaching Hell. Then we go to two years ago, where the International Special Forces have a squad led by Jackson Briggs, Hsu Hao, and Sonya Blade attempting to capture the infamous Black Dragon Clan. The operation goes wrong (thanks to Hsu Hao) and it becomes a shitfest. Here is where Kabal nearly dies and eventually dons the respirator. Tremor, No Face, and Tasia are "kannon fodder" to showcase Fatalities. Hsu Hao gets injured, Sonya explodes Kano's right eye with her Energy Blast. 

We move to the present day at the Temple of the Order of Light, where Liu Kang and Kung Lao are sparring to find out who will represent the Temple of the Order of Light in Mortal Kombat. Liu Kang barely defeats Kung Lao and Lord Raiden consoles Kung Lao by reminding him that while the Order of Light can only send One Kombatant, there are other ways to represent Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat.

We now move to the Warner Brothers movie lot in Burbank California. And since I'm me, I would have a shot of the water tower similar to the Animaniacs intro as the Animaniacs theme begins to play where we cut to Johnny Cage in a Mocap Suit answering said phone and whining about doing videogame Motion Capture, because the studio doesn't want to hire Zack Snyder to direct Ninja Mime 4, but they want to hire Joss Whedon. Another guy in a Motion Capture suit (Mokap) tells Cage that Sifu Pesina is looking for him. This scene mirrors the 95 movie where Cage enters Mortal Kombat. As Sifu Pesina leaves, he turns into Shang Tsung.

("Snydercut version" would have Shang Tsung cycle from Sifu Pesina to Linden Ashby to Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa to the current Shang Tsung)

 We go back to Sonya and Jax who are discussing new Black Dragon operations at her place where a courier drops a package for Sonya. Said package has an invitation to Mortal Kombat for her and one for Jax as well as photographs and surveillance videos showing that Kano is not only alive but participating in Mortal Kombat.

Now we have Kano, Liu Kang, Raiden, Johnny Cage, and Sonya on their way to the island. Shang Tsung hiring a Lin Kuei assassin to eliminate Earthrealm Kombatants in and out of the tournament would bring back Bi-Han, who we can say was frozen for years because, something something cryomancers, something something need "ice sleeps" for longevity.

Having Sub-zero awake, triggers Scorpion's return. 

They get to the island, where Shang Tsung explains the tournament and we have a Test your Might scene. As Sub-zero attempts to assassinate Liu Kang outside of Kombat, Scorpion shows up and kills the Lin Kuei assassin. Meanwhile, Jax and Sonya are attecked by A group of Tarkatans and are saved by Raiden and Kung Lao. Since this is not an official Kombat, Raiden can intervene (Lightning, teleport, Superman, you name it.)

In this free for all, we get to see Raiden and Kung Lao's moves and fatalities.

Johnny Cage gets to fight a Tarkatan that is NOT Baraka in an official Kombat. Cage finally understands the seriousness of Kombat, but he gets to showcase his Fatality AND Friendship.

("Snydercut version" The Beheading Uppercut is replayed from 3 different angles as a nod to the 3 head Fatality bug) 

Sonya gets an official match against Kano. 

Liu Kang, while stalked by Reptile, gets his official match agains the Zaterran.

Jax fights Goro and gets his arms ripped out.

Liu Kang is put to fight against Kung Lao and refuses to finish his opponent.  Shang Tsung descends to absorb Kung Lao's soul, but is interrupted by Raiden, who reminds Shang Tsung that his repeated attempts at sidestepping the rules have been noted by the Elder Gods and it could put Shang Tsung's stake on Earth in danger. Shang Tsung backs down but announces that Cage will battle Goro. Sonya is aghast, because she knows what the Shokan did to Jax. She's trying to dissuade Cage from fighting Goro, but Cage calms her and asks for a date after he beats Goro.

The fight between Cage and Goro would begin similarly to the 95 movie. Cage will lure Goro away from his labyrinthine Lair to the Pit Arena. Where the gigantic Shokan wouldn't have the advantage. Goro begins to gain the advantage, when Liu Kang invokess the Endurance round rules to Goro. With Liu Kang's help  Johnny Cage manages to make Goro fall from the pit. Since Liu Kang delivered the Killing Blow, he passes to the final against Shang Tsung.

The final battle, should be very trippy with Liu Kang battling Shang Tsung, who uses his sorcery to mimic other fighters. Mirror Match, fighting the other 6 MK Kombatants. In the end Liu Kang wins and lets Shang Tsung go, so he can face his Emperor as a failure. The movie ends with a montage of "endings" Liu Kang returning as champion to the Temple of Light and Kung Lao asks for a rematch. They're interrupted as a woman from Outworld (Mileena posing as Kitana) hands Liu Kang an invitation to a Special Mortal Kombat in Outworld. Raiden leaves to ask the Elder Gods the meaning of this. Sonya is overseeing Jax's recovery from the battle, with his new Cybernetic arms. Meanwhile, Hsu Hao connects a flash drive to one of the ISF computers. Johnny Cage is preparing to go to an award ceremony as he steps into the limo we see Sonya as she complains about this being the second most bizarre date she's ever being. To which Johnny replies that fighting monsters in an island to defend the fate of Earth via a martial arts tournament is the weirdest date he's ever been... but also the best because he met Sonya there.

Final scene we have Bi-Han burning in hell as the camera zooms in on his face to switch into the Lin Kuei chamber where he was frozenas we zoom out from a frozen member (Kuai Liang) opening his eyes as Mileena drops an invitation to Mortal Kombat. 

I know that some of the complaints will be that it's a bit too close to the game and 1995 movie. I'll admit that the main intention was sticking to the games. I did have a few intentional "tributes" to the 1995 movie, mainly with Johnny Cage, since it made Johnny Likable. The tournament is still the main focus, but at the same time, giving motivations to most of the characters... I tried to keep most of the key players alive for the sake of the sequels. That's the main reason why I used stuff from the horrible Special Forces game since it gave me plenty of Cannon father for Jax and Sonya. Adding Hsu Hao to the mix is pure sequel baiting. With Kano seemingly dead, Kabal can take Reigns of the black dragon. With Bi-Han dead, I can bring Kuai Liang to the sequel. Goro's death paves the way for Kintaro and Sheeva.

Every playable character from the games should get a moment to shine. Aside Mileena, who is sequel bait... especially, since on the sequel I want to play with both Kitana and Mileena confusing Liu Kang. Since this is a vague and basic idea of story, I'm not going too deep with dialogue, camera angles, soundtrack, etc.

Icon heroes is now doing Karate Kid variants

 They have a $50 Johnny Lawrence exclusive figure...

What's so special about it? It has Johnny wearing a white gi with full sleeves. Also he has referee flags and a head with bruises...

This is basically Johnny in Daniel's body... can we say Lazy?

I have 3 figures that could've been better variants:

Two of them are Johnny Lawrence figures since he has a couple of different iconic looks in the movie. The third one is Daniel's most iconic Look without a Karate uniform. 

They could easily make a Daniel vs. Johnny Halloween 2-pack. Daniel comes with the removable showerhead and curtain, while Johnny is a Skeleton... but repaints/redecos are needed to pay off those molds...

Why Zany variants aren't optimal for the adult collector.

 Remember the zany variants of your childhood?

Thunderpunch He-Man, Battle Armor Skeletor, Sewer Samurai Leo, Mutating Shredder, Neon talking super street bat-luge Batman... those variants. Back in the day when figures were under $5, they were an acceptable evil. When the adult collector craze caught on and figures were $20, these variants were begrudgingly tolerated. Now with mass produced figures reqching boutique prices, do we need the 10th Ryu figure? Or the twentieth-something McFarlane Batman?

Excess of pointless variants of the same characters can kill lines. We have already seen this happen throughout multiple Toy lines. I know what you're thinking: 

But NEFTY, aren't you the one making variant lists as posts here?

Yeah, but I also mentioned that the line shouldn't be overloaded with variants. 

My issue is more with "What variants are 'worthy' for Adult collectors"? 

Canonical variants that are minor cosmetic changes on the exact same figure, ie: Black and grey Batman vs Blue and grey Batman, or oval vs no oval on the bat emblem. 

Different continuity versions of the character, ie: 200X He-Man vs Netflix CGI series He-Man.

Weird Toy variants, ie: Farmer Michelangelo vs Rappin' Michelangelo. 

 

This question is probably on the companies' minds when they release these to the adult collector community. Many of these lines rely on nostalgia. You can get away with selling Mirage Turtles, because they are the prime Turtles, and if for some reason, you're not a Mirage purist, you can always paint the bandanas... but a Space Cadet Raph, cannot be converted into a normal Raph.  Unless your main Turtles as a kid were:

Wacky Action Michelangelo, Punker Don, Space Cadet Raph, and Lieutenant Leo, there is no real point in getting a "Village People" TMNT Team.

 

At the same time, redoing  vanilla versions of them too much can lead to oversaturation. It's a lose lose situation.  

Test your might Mortal Kombat 2021 rant

As I'm walking home from the cinema after watching Mortal Kombat 2021 I have thoughts. Social distancing measures birthday again and there were only six people at the showing, with me sitting the furthest from all people. Funny thing is that the guys at the cinema had closed all seats in the row I usually sit on except for my usual seat... I have been using the same seat long before the pandemic started.

I wish I could say that it sucked. Sadly it didn't suck. I wish I could say it was awesome. Sadly it wasn't. It exists... and that's the best thing I can say about it without going on a long-winded rant on how Annihilation levels of bad this movie is.

Having Fatalities and gore a good Mortal Kombat movie does not make. The main problem with this movie is that it's a try-hard. It tries way too hard to be serious and edgy, but it ignores the inherent silliness within Mortal Kombat. Jax's cyber arms are the epitome of ridiculousness that this movie takes super seriously. They were built by monks in a cave and they begin as rudimentary mechanical prosthetics and they look Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy! They get Hefty! Hefty! Hefty! By magic... It is ridiculously stupid to have the US using top secret prototype robotics on Jax, but Magic Monks gave him Magical Robotic Arms in a freaking Cave... powered by the magical MK Logo brand.

Fuck Cole Young with a rusty Kunai!!

Nothing personal against Lewis Tan, but Cole Young is a shitty character that was unnecessary for the movie. The Protagonist of Mortal Kombat is Liu Kang. Why the fuck is Liu Kang acting like a fucking Sidekick in Mortal Kombat!! Also, it takes nearly 30 minutes for Liu Kang to show up... Roughly a bit after the 90 minute mark, Scorpion shows up at the end of the movie to fight Sub-zero, because Dull Ass Cole Young needs help from his great great great grandpappy to beat the evil ice man. All the talk about the Tournament, yet Shang Tsung bypasses everything about the tournament. He starts pulling expendable warriors out of his ass and none of them make sense in the context of "first movie".

This movie takes all the worst elements of a Zack Snyder movie and applies them to Mortal Kombat 

Mileena is wasted, since she dies and the whole Kitana Klone Angle is unexplored. Nitara is brought in just to become Cannon Fodder. Same thing as General Reiko. Kabal's ties with Kano are pulled out of their asses. Looks like the Director, who it seems THIS is his first "big movie" will have to take a page out of Zack Snyder's handbook and explain everything he left out in interviews. Also 3 people have writing credits... one if them is the writer of Netflix Death Note 2, the other is one of the 3 writers for WW84.

BuT iS rAtEd R aNd HaS GoRe AnD tHe FaTaLiTiEs! 

Adding Gold Flecks to a turd doesn't change the fact that it's a turd. It has some pretty bits, but it's still a turd. Unlike Zack Snyder movies, the only times I looked at my watch were when Liu Kang and Scorpion first show up.

Sure the effects are a lot better than the 1995 movie, but the story is as coherent as ANNIHILATION. The performances seem to be sponsored by Valium. Nearly everyone seems to be bored out of their fucking minds while performing. The sole exception is the guy playing Kano. As much as I hated the fact that Johnny Cage wasn't in this movie, after watching it I'm glad he wasn't in it. 

Personally, I'm sticking with Paul Weak Sauce Anderson's PG-13 Mortal Kombat... despite the limitations of the time and rating it's the superior Mortal Kombat movie. Don't waste money at the cinema for this movie. If you already paid for HBO Max then watch it there. If you don't have those options, I wouldn't recommend...

Don't  waste bandwith on it... only watch it if you can do it for free.

So, what is my final veredict?

It's mediocre, mostly bad, but not so bad that it becomes good. It has a couple of good bits, but they aren't enough to cover for the bad... 

The thing that pisses me off is that there was potential for a good MK movie, but it was wasted on Cole Young bullshit.

Super7 Wave 5 might be my last.

 The final CORE CORE CORE Character has been teased. I'm talking about Krang.

So far, the lack of Android body is a bit disappointing.

Don't get me wrong oh, I like that we are getting the bubble Walker, but I don't think it would be enough for a $55 release. I'm also slightly worried about the scale because crying is supposed to be small enough to fit in the Android body and we've seen how the Vintage line treated scales which was really bad. Hopefully Super 7 will mimic NECA on the scaling with the Krang's Android body but hopefully they will not mimic how the Android Body Works. Since yesterday we got sewer Samurai Leo as a teaser and we got Krang today, we must assume that wave 5 will be announced soon.

I'm wondering what will Super 7 do to spice up crank in order to make him feel like he's worth $55 and not be an overpriced $15 figure.

NECA's Third TMNT week on April and still no April rerelease...

I already have April with the slashed Foot Soldier., but No April figure on a TMNT MONTH SALE IN APRIL is...

But fret not Turtle dudes... we have "one more week"... the event is "officially over" but April has One More Week... NECA could end the month with Movie April... but let's talk about the releases for this week:

Krang's Android Body... which I already have.

General Traag and Granitor... I just Pre-ordered them.

Last but not least:

Antrax and Scum Bug... 

It's cool for fans of the characters that they're getting cartoon versions of them, but I kind of expected Super 7 to do them before NECA. To be honest I didn't know that Antrax was on the cartoon. I do remember scumbug but not Antrax. In any case unlike Ace Duck and Mutagen Man, this one I'M skipping. Not even Joe Biden's too late for the Thunkdertank $1400 will make me buy this set...

(Watch as future me ends up paying scalper prices on eBay in 2022)

I was expecting Krang, and the Rock Soldiers 2 pack... but where are the surprises?

Translation: Where the fuck is

Oh God, did I just spoil NECA's 2022 TMNT Target exclusive 4 pack? Horny Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sailors... oh Shit! I said the S-word.

Take it away Corey Marshall

No, but seriously, where the fuck is Irma?

I know she's coming... 

Odds and ends April 22-23 2021... Metal Gear!?

 Once again the rumors of a Metal Gear Remake have surfaced. This time, the person spreading the rumor is...

SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

Yup, David Hayter claims that there's a remake coming. To be honest, after FFVIIR, I'M afraid of the word "Remake". On the other hand, I'd prefer that Outer Heaven and Zanzibarland based games were remade instead. Don't get me wrong a remake of the entire Metal Gear Solid series would be sweet but the original pre-Solid games need some love too! I'd dare say more than the game based in Shadow Moses.

Remember the Purple Urkel weed announcement? Well, you can't have something Weed related in the USA without representation from one of the biggest Weed Ambassadors ( Willie Nelson, Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, or Snoop Dogg) will go nowhere. Well, Snoop Dogg gave Steve Urkel his blessing

This isn't a joke, Jaleel White brought back Urkel to promote his weed. I spent the whole ad giggling as if I was high... due to work and logistics, I don't smoke weed, nor will attack those who do so responsibly.

Seems like Steven Seagal is having trouble trying to sell his Arizona Mansion... It's once acain on the market.  But that's not all... the House used as the LaRusso residence on Cobra Kai is now on sale... catch is that the house is not on California. It's on Georgia.  And while we're on Cobra Kai, seems like Q4 is when season 4 is most likely to drop.

Super7 dropped a surprise!

Variants are coming... you must remember that Super 7 had to raise their prices due to China... so that means space cadet Raph sewer Samurai Leo sewer surfing Mike and undercover Don will be all at the new $55 price tag.

I just hope they don't get too crazy in shoving variants over new characters.

MOTU Revelation prequel comic, reveals (pardon the redundancy) Teela and Evil Lyn

 And they look Freaking Sweet!!

They shrank the boobhorns, but that was expected. I have to admit that Teela's design is pretty sweet (and kinda wish MOTUC was still around so we could get these in that style) Also, that Evil Lyn is looking a million times better than Water Tribe Evil Lyn that Mattel revealed a while back.

I'm still getting some William Zabka vibes from that He-Man. Since this is the internet age I must wonder if we're going to get a Surge of He-Man themed R34 art... his sister got a lot of futanari art thanks to Noelle Stevenson. 

Trailer, trailer, we need a freaking trailer!!

You know NECA's TOONY TERRORS? I have an even crazier idea:

 The TOONY TERRORS line takes horror movie characters and turns them into a cartoon version of themselves that theoretically could work on a Hanna Barbera Mystery Solving Teenagers kind of cartoon... So, here's my crazy idea:

Take Cartoon or Toy characters and make them super realistic... kinda like a Toy version of what Bosslogic does to movie posters/art.

For example: Inspector Gadget.

His design "would be weird" in a "realistic style"... 

Adrien Brody just happens to look a lot like a "Realistic Inspector Gadget". No I'm not asking for Adrien Brody to be used as Gadget. That would open up a different can of worms with likeness rights. What I'm saying is that you can make "a close to cartoon accurate yet realistic version of Inspector Gadget" since Adrien Brody exist.

Same thing to reply to say the kids from The Dungeons & Dragons animated series, certain cartoon characters from TMNT... ( yes this is a subtle way to get a "90s movie compatible version" of Rocksteady Bebop and Krang) this could also apply to actual action figures of Jem, GI Joe, Masters of the Universe, assuming NECA is able to work something out with the property holders... but could you imagine, having a Realistic He-Man standing next to Ivan Drago and John Matrix, while Ellen Ripley and Jem take on a XenoQueen? Or Doc Brown fixing up inspector Gadget as John Connor and Marty McFly fend off BOTH PENNYWISES!? 

And before anyone asks, yes, the "realistic He-Man" is just a "testing the waters thing" for sneaking NECA into making actual 1987 movie figures with normal human proportions instead of MOTUCized movie figures. 

Ray Fisher REALLY needs to learn to shut up!

 He can't keep spouting crap and expect everything to be OK. So, to recap: 

Warner bros. in their infinite stupidity hire Zack Snyder to create a DC Universe for the movies.

In pure Zack Snyder fashion he delivered dull, boring movies that show his lack of understanding of the characters, despite him tossing tons of Easter eggs. 

While working on Justice League, Warner wanted changes:

Les dark and edgy, and putting the focus on Superman and Batman, being DC's cashcows.

Zack didn't comply, so Warner brought in Joss Whedon to fix Chris Terrio's awful script. Somewhere in between Whedon fixing the script and Snyder reluctantly agreeing to the reshoots, Autumn Snyder, Zack's daughter, committed suicide. This put Whedon on an uncomfortable situation. He became a "step-director" and apparently the cast didn't take it well. With an uncooperative cast and the execs at WB putting an impossible and unmoveable deadline, Whedon had to fight everyone to get something done. His methods might have been massively dickish, but got the job done. Sadly, that's how it works in Hollywood, especially when you're acting as someone else's replacement. Allegedly, Whedon was a dick with everyone. No one aside Gal Gadot complained at the time. Her issue was resolved. Years later, after the movie came and flopped, Ray Fisher began making vague accusations. Never said anything concrete to cover his ass and claimed an Non-Disclosure Agreement stopped him from revealing Whedon's evils. He kept throwing people under the bus until WB accepted an investigation, which Fisher refused, claiming it was a cover up by WB. After WB catering to him with a different investigator, Fisher FINALLY spoke to them. Whedon was removed from other WB projects... Fisher won... or at least he would have if he had just shut up! He kept on going. He was now going after the head of Walter Hamada. Fisher even said that he wouldn't do another DC movie as long as Hamada was still at WB. With that statement, well, it's kinda hard to return to work for WB... well, Fisher claims that "his role" on Flash was eliminated due to him speaking up against being abused by WB, Whedon, and pretty much everyone. In reality, Fisher broughtthis on himself. First he was given a cameo role on The Flash, but he wanted more money. WB said, oh well and Cryborg was written out.

OK, NOW Fisher has THE AUDACITY!! To demand an apology from WB so he can consider returning as Cyborg. This really shows that, while Whedon was most likely a dick to everyone due to outside circumstances, Fisher has been padding everything for the sake of his ego. But I kinda agree with Fisher... Warner bros. Should apologize... for having cast Ray Fisher and his drama queen tendencies. Fisher is a great example of Defeat from the Jaws of victory. Now here's a song that Fisher needs to listen to.

The problem with Fisher is that he wasn't satisfied with Justice... he wanted Vengeance and now it's biting him in the ass.

It came from the Toy Chest: Big Fat Caillou's revenge

 I am talking about the Kingpin of crime himself, Wilson Fisk. Not 100% sure if true, but I could swear Kingpin's VA from Spider-Man the Animated series was the "Ahh the power of cheese" voice... the only reason I'm mentioning this is because the Retro series Spider-Man wave Kingpin figure is bringing me late 90s flashbacks. Roughly around the time I went back to collecting and I was able to get pre Marvel Legends toybiz figures very easily because they were three for $10 at KB toys... and my orthodontist was located at a mall with a KB. This is mostly due to the 90s inspired card art and Kingpin looking a lot like his 90s figure but better.

I kunow, I already reviewed the Kingpin BAF. This figure is nearly the same as that one... but there are a few differences that required a little review.

You're tearing me apart Lisa!!

Articulation

Here there is no difference between both figures. For a fat guy he can be kind of poseable, he won't be doing any Spider-Man like acrobatics but for most of your Kingpin needs this figure is functional enough.

4.0

Paint and sculpt

Here we begin to see the differences between Kingpin and Shadow King. Let's face it that Kingpin build-a-figure was meant to be a Shadow King and not a Kingpin. Making the build a figure of Kingpin instead of Shadow King was a devious move. People ended up getting two of em in order to have one Kingpin and one Shadow King. Now with this more accurate Kingpin people are having a slight issue what to do with the third figure. I'll share some tips in the overall section.

Now that we got that little background story out of the way let me discuss the differences. The Torso is where most of the differences between Kingpin figures lie. Disfigure has the classic Kingpin ascot instead of a normal necktie. Of course the paint job is different from both figures. Sadly this skin tones do not match between the Kingpin figures. The Retro series Kingpin is a bit paler than the Builder figure.

5.0

Accessories

Like the previous Kingpin figure, the accessories are the same additional head and the cane. The screaming Kingpun head has some battle damage painted on similar to the Peter Parker head in the Kraven and black suit Spidey two pack.

4.0

Overall

Kingpin gets a 4.33 as his final score. Like the previous Kingpin figure before this one is decent and fulfills all of your Kingpin needs.

Now what to do with the extra Shadow King body that you might have:

If you have some black and white paints, some sculpting material, a fodder ponytail; you could make a Jimmy 6 Figure.

Or you could use some sculpting material to make a blond comb-over styled wig give him a hot hardly applied spray then look to his face and you can have former President Donald Trump. For more accurate results switch the hands from the build a figure to the retrowave Kingpin and boom!

Let's be honest current Marvel Legends customs of Donald Trump they look wrong.

The tiny body in a suit looks nothing like The Donald's body. I'm not gonna lie, the custom head has a really great likeness of The Donald, but the body looks very wimpy in comparison to the Actual Donald Trump.

Let's face it, he IS FAT... no, I'm not body shaming him or mocking him for his weight. I'm stating a fact as another fat person. As you can  see on this pic, he is bigger than Kim Jong Un. Therefore, the Kingpin figure creates the same imposing figure that a Donald Trump figure should have. Also, thhe Kingpin figure straddles the line between 1:12 and 1:10 scale.

Whether you like him or not, he can spice up your displays...

Mattel is the new Super7... a Shogun Skeletor rant

 Mattel Creations... the same division that made the Overpriced clear Oranges Skeletor, the Madsucky's Emo I stole Former President Donald J. Trump's Spray tanner He-Man, has a new $300 Skeletor...

According to ToyArk, this Shogun Warriors Skeletor will drop on Friday... and it's $300 of barely poseable 23 inches of faux vintage crap for hipsters. I don't understand why Mattel wastes time on this crap, much less why people buy into it.

But I'm not here to talk about another overpriced nonsensical hipster crap item that is far better suited for Super7 than Mattel...

This oddity right here is the much more interesting item... I don't know if this is an unexplored idea, a Masterverse figure, or whatever. It looks pretty sweet. Even if Incompetent Ruben Martinez made this, it looks pretty good. Something like that is more likely to get my money than a $300 Shogun Warriors Skeletor.

Once again The Winds of Winter it's getting delayed

 It's that time again: George Slow as Molasses RR Martin is giving excuses for his delay on Tje Winds of Winter.  Holy shit it's been 10 years since A Dance with Dragons! But we mustn't worry because some of his other projects are getting done.

When Weird Al Yankovic makes fun of your slow ass, you should get it in gear and start typing Georgie...

At this rate Final Fantasy seven remake will be completed Todd McFarlane will make his Spawn movie and we still won't have the final two books of A Song of Ice and Fire

Godzilla v. Kong : Dawn of Kaiju... a rant

 Let me get the Save Mothra joke out of the way.

The movie was decent, not gonna lie here, but it wasn't great... the reason is the same as why Bayformers sucked.

Mediocre director whose focus is flash over substance?

No, not that...

Altering character designs so much that the characters are unrecognizable?

Not that either...

It has Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox?

No! But you're getting closer...

The movie wastes a lot of time in humans with so little dimension aside their key personality trait that they feel like caricatures instead of actual characters?

 And there is another thing...

You're disappointed that Kong loses all the fights against Godzilla and his victory against Mecha-Godzilla feels hollow, even when Mecha-Godzilla beats the living crap out of the big G.

I understand that most Godzilla movies require  a balance between humans and Kaiju... (funny story, Speech to text thinks this is Kaiju) but the humans need to be more engaging. I was honestly wanting a Kaiju to eat eleven and her annoying sidekicks "tap water" and "crazy conspiracy theorist who was right". Eric Northman was also on my kill list, along with everyone surrounding him, except for mute girl and her guardian...

I understand that using the Human characters is a way that they're trying to make us care about the story by relating to fellow humans. It's just that, the humans are dragging the movie down. This seems to be more on the Godzilla side of things... but that's something that stems from Gojira-sama's origins on the land of the rising Sun. It's not from the Westernized adaptations...

Odds and ends April 17th 2021: We have a Doc Ock!

 Quick question everybody:

Do you know who is my favorite Marvel Villain? I'll give you a hint: had he not become a supervillain, he could have been popular in Japan as a Pornstar...

Give up? It's not Norman Overrated Osborn...

It's not the embodiment of Raul Julia as Bison, aka Doctor Doom... Now I have you thinking on how Raul Julia would have been the Perfect Doctor Doom this side of Tim Curry in his prime.

I'm  talking about the one and only...

Doctor Octopus, once again played by Alfred Molina... apparently, the actor is going to be digitally de-aged. This is a good and a bad thing:

Good because it's Alfred Freaking Molina, whi knocked it out of the park as Doc Ock.

The bad news is that This is that this is 67 year-old Alfred Molina playing Doc Ock. 

I know it sounds ageist, but Tom Holland is 24 and can churn out at least 3 more Spidey movies. Unless Molina dies as Ock, again, having him in this role is detrimental to the character in the long run. Yes, as a Doc Ock fan, I'm aware of Doc Ock's fighting style relying on his tentacles. At least it's not Jack Black as Doc Ock...

Gabriel Luna will be playing Pedro Pascal's little brother in HBO's The Last of Us. Decent actor playing Tommy Miller. I'm not gonna lie, every bit of news regarding this series scares me. Feels like I'm riding a roller coaster because he gave me a bit of great news then suddenly give me a bit of bad news. Right now this is a bit of great news so the next bit of news I get about this series is going to suck. 

May 13th will be the date for the Final season of Castlevania on Netflix.

Seems that we won't get a Simon season... much less a Richter one... which means no:

NECA Ace Fuck and Mutagen Man are up...

 I understand Super7 having Ace Duck, since he was a vintage figure, but NECA? It doesn't make any sense!! I KINDA WANT Mutagen Man, but it's not a Holy Shit, I NEED to get him! Ace Duck, well... I'm torn here. It's Ace Duck... he had like 1 second screen time in the toon... but at the same time IT'S ACE DUCK!! A COMPLETE CLEAN SLATE CHARACTER!! I can make so many Launchpad jokes with him...

Or we could call things for what they are:

I'm disappointed that none of them are Irma.

Seriously!! You don't tease Irma and release Ace Fuck!!

Action figure woes: That's it, no more Storm Collectibles for me.

 I was taking Raiden out of his Packaging and the sash he wears broke.

I tried gluing it to his torso but the sash fell off and left a black residue on the figure. Looks like I'll have to hit at craft shop and buy some black ribbon. I shouldn't have to since this is an $80 action figure. I know in the grand scheme of things having his sash break is not a huge deal but then again it's an $80 figure. I honestly can't justify spending this amount of money for toys that are going to break easier than a NECA. 

The sad part is that I was getting really excited for this review and as an added bonus: remember that I mentioned that my scorpion figure broke at the clip that held the arm? Well I ordered an incomplete scorpion for spare parts to fix him and I ended up getting a 2020 special edition scorpion in complete but it's the improved version. I was kind of going to do two for one it came from the toy chest but with Rising size breaking well I lost all interest in reviewing Storm Collectibles  figures. I don't think that even Johnny Cage would make me want to get another storm Collectibles figure.

If these were in the same price range as NECA figures I probably would complain a lot less, but these are even more expensive than Super 7!! I kind of wish I had a time machine so I could go back to 2017 and slap 2017 me in the face before he gets the storm Collectibles Ryu figure.

Top 10 Back to the Future characters/variants I'd like to see:

 By the way things are going, I might have to create a NECA tag... but speaking seriously, Back to the Future as a toy line requires multiple variants of the same characters. Like we have 1985 Marty 1955 Doc Brown 1955 Biff Tannen but we don't have a 1985 Doc Brown a 1985 Biff Tannen or a 1955 "Calvin Klein"...or even an Enchantment Under the Sea Marty with vanishing hand. The vanishing hand was added to another 1985 Marty. Hell we even have a 2015 Marty McFly disguised as Marty Junior, but not a 2015 Doc Brown. Hell, in the intro I already mentioned a few variants that I want...

Sadly this list is 100% George McFly free due to the legal nightmare involving Crispin Glover's likeness rights. To be fair I can understand why mr. Glover would say no especially if it's related to Back to the Future. Also I need to point out that I'll try to keep the Doc and Marty variants to a minimum. There might be around 4 figures total that are Doc and Marty variants.

10: 2015 Doc Brown:

We have a BTTFII Marty, so a 2015 Doc makes sense.

9: Enchantment under the sea Marty:

Since we can't have George McFly (and Lorraine, since  wouldn't make sense to have her without George) then, this Marty covers the iconic scene where he nearly fades out of existence.

8: Jennifer Parker:

Yes he should have a Claudia Wells and an Elisabeth Shue head. It would be a really dick move to release both Jennifer's as separate characters...

7: 1985 (Dark timeline) The Biff (with "enhanced" Lorraine Baines Tannen):

 Since Biff killed George McFly in this timeline, Lorraine is doable as a figure.

I know I'm "cheating" on my list, but while The Biff could Sail on his own comet Lorraine wouldn't... so, a two-pack makes sense here.

6: Griff Tannen:

He has a Pitbull Hoverboard, period. But it's all about having "balance" on the roster. While Old Man Biff Tannen is the true villain of the story, the Tannen that Marty actually "fought" in 2015 ia Griff.

5: 2015 Old Man Biff:

Like I said with Griff, it's all about balancing the roster and Biff Tannen is the main villain of most of the fire therefore he's needed in as many forms as possible.

4: Principal Strickland:

There is an ulterior motive for having this character on my list. Part of me also wants to diagnose 1985 version so I could mix and match accessories to have my secret character on a different display.

3: Mad Dog Tannen vs. "Clint Eastwood":

Once again I'm cheating I know I know but it makes sense to have these two characters in a two pack, since BTTF3 is a Western and these two had a duel.

2: 1885 Doc Brown and Clara Clayton:

Another 2 pack!? I know it kind of feels like I'm cheating... the reason I'm pretty much putting everything back to the future 3 in Two-packs just to get it done quickly. I understand that the majority of people are not very fond of part 3. Also I'm not too sure that a Clara Clayton figure would sell well on its own.

1: 1985 Doc Brown  (Twin Pines Mall):

We have the 1985 Marty with the camcorder to record the time machine's first travel. So we need a Doc Brown figure to go with that Marty.

And for those of you worried about breaking balance there is the already mentioned enchantment Under the Sea Marty to pair off with the 1955 Doc, or the currently existing audition Marty. 

Honorable mentions:

Howdy Doody Marty, BTTF2 Dark Timeline Marty,  2015 Marty, Needles, 1955 Biff's gang, Griff's gang, and last but not least: Manure Biff.

Odds and ends: 4/15/21

 Judith Hoag is super excited about becoming an action figure and revealed a bit more of NECA's April O'Neil figure.

Next to Donatello, we can see the head sculpts of both April and Casey. What a nice way to tease the Casey v2 Figure... Also, wasn't Ernie Reyes Jr. the stuntman for Donatello? The plot thickens... 

But there is still a big problem here

The only solution is a NECA Figure and so far that's not happening. So, solve this problem, Vanilla Ice!!

London Tipton is a mom... Brenda Song from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody is now a mother with Robot Chicken's Macaulay Culkin. Yay her! I know I had mentioned that Song and Culkin were dating a while back... but my brain erased that info, because the moment I read that Ms. Tipton gave birth to a McCallister spawn my brain reacted like this:

When you hear the name Urkel, what does come to mind?

If you answered Marihuana, then you're correct. Jaleel White, Stefan Urquelle himself is launching a Marihuana product line based on a strain named after Steve Urkel.  

Now all I can picture is getting high with Urkel... They better have some Cheese based edibles.

Fuck Duel Monsters, Fuck Konami, Fuck It All!

 About 2 years ago, I commented on how a Blue Eyes deck tempted me to return to Duel Monsters... Well, that didn't work out. The game has changed far too much and it has become far too convoluted for my tastes... The game kinda has turned into a more Pay to Win format than before. Easily spending 3-4 figures on a deck is insane... (back in the day the Envoys could be a bit expensive.) But pretty much most of my decks were built with commonly available  cards and maybe the most expensive ones came from the exclusive card of a tin. Hand traps, pendulums, link summoning... a bunch of mumbo jumbo that feels like you're watching the opponent playing solitaire and you're unable to jack shit about it. It's far worse than a LP burn deck from back in the day. I miss the slower pace from the past eras... your moves were made in multiple turns and both you and your opponent had a fair chance at winning. Nowadays Duels seem to rely on who can onw turn kill the fastest. I miss the back and forth.

I know many people will dismiss this as "nostalgia". While, yes, Nostalgia DOES play a factor in my disdain for the current format, it's not the sole reason. Over a decade's worth of card collecting is now garbage because of the current format. I carried around 12 decks... none of those were able to put a dent on my opponent's Life points.

Pot of Greed is banned for being "too OP" while cards that allow for a First Turn Kill are "not OP".

Crazy idea: NECA Street Fighter toyline...

 In a post COVID vaccine hallucination or weird dream as I rode the line between consciousness and unconsciousness, I saw myself inside a FYE and after checking the anime section for random Hentai that slips through the cracks and being disappointed, I went to the NECA section looking for a Pennywise figure. THE REAL PENNYWISE, not the Skarsgaard imitation... As I grabbed a Predator, I was flung back in time and ended up at Hot Topic around 10 years ago, where I held a Street Fighter IV C.Viper figure. I out her back and lamented that Ryu or Ken weren't available. I was flung back to the future without the C.Viper. This made me fall and I hit my head and passed out. In that hazy state, throbbing headache, cold shivers, weak legs, and my vision being blurred as if someone had smeared vaseline on my glasses. I stood up groggily and yelled "Great Scott!"

NECA should do a Street Fighter toyline!!

I know what you're thinking: "They already did and it didn't do well." 

I'm not talking about Street Fighter IV nor

Everyone and their mother have done Street Fighter II... what I'm proposing is far greater...

Ehh... no.

"Wait a minute... Nefty refusing a chance to have a Raul Julia as Bison Figure!? Something's wrong here."

Don't get me wrong... I would never deny the pleasure of having Raul Julia as Bison, but what I meant was: I simply want Street Fighter the movie the game the toyline!

It's the cast of the movie PLUS ERNIE REYES SENIOR AS AKUMA!! Mind freaking Blown...

Before anyone asks the answer is no: I'm not trying to subtly suggest Surf Ninjas as a line. Though a NECA Scaled Game Gear would be neat... the only way I want an Ernie Reyes jr. Figure is as Keno the pizza guy.

The reason I chose the game version over the movie besides Ernie Reyes senior is that the game allows naked to make versions of the power up and special attack effects that the characters had in the game that weren't in the movie. Stretchy arms for Dhalsim, hundred hand slaps for Honda, Sonic Boom for Guile, etc.

Sadly, this was nothing but a dream as I woke alone in my bed calling for a person who broke my heart decades ago. (Talking about an Elementary School crush here...) apparently it was a slight fever, which caused this delirious dream of a NECA Street Fighter the movie the game the toyline... but at least it was better than the time I dreamt of a Twilight Saga Ultimates line.