Aug 29, 2024

Capcom Fighting Collection II: is coming

 T-t-the Millionaire Fighting Two Thousand and One is about to begin... Fighting Collection II will have BOTH CAPCOM VS SNK AND CAPCOM VS SNK 2! AM I OK? BUSTA WOOF!
That's reason enough for me to get it. But wait there's more!

-Power Stone 1 and 2... don't  care, but they're  3d and there...
-Plasma Sword... don't care...
-Project Justice... wait is this Rival Schools 2? NICE!! yes I know Kasugano is not on this one, but this is Street Fighter Adjacent.

-Street Fighter Alpha 3 Upper... we needed a Street Fighter game, I guess...
-Capcom Fighting Evolution... Ehhh... it's a game, I guess.

It's coming for Switch and PS4... 2025... gives me enough time to buy the first Collection on PS4.
Shit, CVS no longer confined to Dreamcast and PS2... now give us SF×Tekken!!

Aug 28, 2024

Crazy idea for Playmates TMNT Classics

 You know the Adult Collector TMNT line by Playmates with the 6 inch Turtles? The ones that have Stranger things, Street Fighter and Karate Kid figures?

Yes? Well, how about releasing Vehicles and Playsets for those? Think about it:

A Vintage styled Party Wagon made slightly larger to fit those Turtles. Added bonus if it fits Playmates, it fits both NECA and Super7.

If the Modern rerelease of the vintage party wagon is $40, a $65 Classics scale party wagon seems reasonable.

A Classics scaled Turtle Blimp at $75-80 seems reasonable as well. It also beats Super7 as the Playmates Blimp would be inflatable and less than a car payment. Master License dick swingin'!

A $65 slightly larger thanClassics scale Foot Cruiser!? Bitch, if you rerelease it a year or two  later in Neutrino colors, You'll make me double dip.

$45 for a Classics scaled Footski. My Rat Kongs from NECA and Super7 would love Playmates so much...

$120 Classics Scale Technodrome... Seriously, instead of whining about NECA and Super7, Playmates should take advantage of the Existence of them in order to get Money from the collectors of those lines with items that complement the collections. 

Let's pick some key vehicles/playsets and figure out a release plan... 

2-3 items per year 2 big ticket items, 1 smaller item.

Year 1: 3 items (April, July, October)

Item 1: Ninja Newsvan with Classics April.
First it gives the Classics line, its own April.
Second, it's "testing the waters" with a variant that Super7 or NECA owners won't have at an affordable price. It's easier to drop $80 on the newsvan WITH April than $300 or $450 without an April.

Item 2: Footski
It's a smaller item with Army building potential. 

Item 3: Foot Cruiser:
Again, this one I to entice the NECA and Super7 collectors to get a vehicle that their lines don't have at an accessible price.

YEAR 2: 2 Items: (April, October)

Item 1: Technodrome
If there is A DEFINITIVE TMNT Playset needed for a 1987 TMNT inspired line is the Technodrome. It's both a vehicle and a playset... and won't be $800 with shipping to the US...

Item 2: Turtle Blimp
Playmates is giving me a stink eye right now because of me not showing repaint potential
 I'll get there. I'm just doing the items that are meant to entice the NECA and Super7 collectors as well as the Classics collectors.

Year 3: Here come the Repaints:
3 Items: (April, July, October)

Item 1: Neutrino Cruiser
It's a mostly repainted Foot Cruiser with a few tweaks to make it feel special.

Item 2: Rattus Rex Footski
A "deluxe" footski in Grey as a nod to the Toon, but it's name is a nod to Turtles in Time and the extra rat accessories are to make a Rat King Army... to differentiate this Footski from the first one one of the Spear projectiles could have a rat attached to it parodying the Antman arrow. A pair of rats parodying the Titanic scene could be attached to the flagpole.Also, I'd like to see a rat floating on a bagel.

Item 3: Party Wagon:
You knew it was coming
Now Classics has their Party Wagon and those who missed out on NECA and Super7's can have theirs. 

Year 4: 2 items: (April, October)

Item 1: Mutant Module:
Just as long as it's big enough to fit Super7 Rocksteady and Bebop  it's a win!

Item 2: Knucklehead: 
As long as a NECA or Super7 Foot Soldier can fit, let it be.

Year 5: 3 items:

Item 1: OOZEY with Classics Pizzaface:
A larger Oozey with plastic parts with stickers replacing the vintage cardboard sign with a "Classics scale Pizzaface". Guessing $65 for the figure and playset.

Item 2: Cheapskate 2pack:
Should be cheap with Army building potential. About $30

Item 3: Turtle Tenderizer:
Unreleased vehicle that has had 2 different videogame appearances.
Make it big enough for Super7 Bebop be able to drive it. Also if planned correctly, the top could be swapped for the shelltop redeco

Year 6: 2 Items:

Item 1: Sewer Playset:
Essentially a scaled up Vintage Playset. Should connect to the Technodrome

Item 2: Shelltop 4×4:
Repaint for the bottom part of the Turtke Tenderizer with a new top.

Final Year: Here come the New Characters: for this gimmick is adding new characters that NECA and Super7 may or may have not thought of making...

Item 1: Cheapskate 2:
A pair of Cheapskate 2 with new Classics Zach and Caitlyn. The idea is that the biggest tmnt fans/sidekicks made their own unlicensed vehicles to fight crime/get in trouble.

Item 2: Ninja Cycle with Classics Karai:
This would be an upscaled Grey Ninja News Cycle nbut with a Classics Karai. (Later on, an April redeco could be released.) 

Item 3: Ninja Pizza:
A modified 2012 Anchovy Alley Playset, larger scale and more "80s". Also it should be able to "combine with the 80s styled Lair". Should be about $70 since it includes Mutated Carter.

Item 4: Channel 6:
A literal redeco of the Monster Action Tower with a few accessories added to make it look like Channel 6. This time there is no figure Or need to resize this. since this mother is huge... and made for 6" figures... $150? 

But the main problem is that I have customer/fan mentality and not a bean counter mentality. This sounds great for the fans, but not for the corporate folks.

What the Hell, Mattel?

 This is the MOST Bizarre Barbie I've ever seen.


Last time I checked Juan Gabriel was a dude... Like the Gayest closeted Gay that has ever Closet Gayed...


This is what the Barbie is supposed to look like:
Quick translation: the interviewer asks Juan Gabriel if he's Gay, to which the singer replies with: "lo que se ve no se pregunta." Roughly translates to you don't ask what's obvious" point is, dude's a dude and not a Chick. That Barbie ain't no dude!


Seriously, if he was alive, that would be his reaction to the Barbie.

New Castlevania collection... not on PS4

 It's on Nintendo Switch, PS5 and the XBox consoles...

I have Castlevania Anniversary Collection
Castlevania Advanced Collection
Castlevania Requiem

That covers:
The NES Games, SOME of the GB Games, the SNES Games, the TG16 game, the GBA games, and the PS1 game.

Missing are the DS games and the Arcade game... the Domino's Collection came out on Switch but not PS4... So, I have to get it either on Switch, or PS5...

Fuck, Konami! That's a moronic move.

Aug 27, 2024

It came from tbe Toy Chest: Did somebody say Yoga?


 Now it's the 5th Jada toys figure to be reviewed here at the House of Rants. Yoga Man himself, Dhalsim.

He spits fire is stretchy, teleports, but never asks about your car's extended warranty. 
He's more or less a Mentor character in Street Fighter Lore. Introduced in Street Fighter 2, Dhalsim has become a staple in the series.

Articulation
He sports the standard Jada Articulation. I wish he had the toe hinge in order to have a more accurate standing pose. Due to lack of Fists, some of his poses are undoable. Yes, his stretched out limbs have fists but they are non-removable. He also likes flame effects for the yoga fire and yoga flame moves. If you have a spare Scorpion hellfire from Storm Collectibles, then you can have a Yoga Stream effect. Carefilnwith swapping. There's a possibility of loosening joints, especially the legs 


4.5

Paint and sculpt
I only have Two complaints regarding the figure in the sculpting area: 
Having the metal earrings but plastic bracelets 
The skull necklace being sculpted without entire skulls. I know it's to have game accurate positioning but it looks kind of weird.


Speaking of the skulls my only complaint in the paint area is The skulls are painted in cartoonish white. I had to summon captain pink brush and give him a bit of a brown Wash with beige accents.
5.0

Accessories
Extra head
Extra hands
Extra elongated Bendy arms
Extra elongated Bendy legs
Stand for some moves.


Dhalsim should've been a deluxe release just to get some very needed accessories: Yoga fore/flame head, Fists, yoga fire and flame effects.
4.5

Overall:
Dhalsim gets a 4.67 as his final score. Had he been a Deluxe release?With the additional accessories, he would have scored higher.But what we got is pretty good. I'd dare say better than SOTA.
Bison's review will come in 2025. I kinda want Jada's Guile to be In hand for the review. Even better if Cammy is in-habd by then.



Vintage Inspired TMNT variants I'd love to see as Ultimates: part 1

 While I say Vintage Variants, it's not limited to only the characters that had that variant... for example, Warriors of the Forgotten Sewer we only had Leo, Don, Rocksteady, and Bebop. No Raph or Mike. So, I'd add a Raph the Rogue and Mike the Bard... Archmage Splinter, Dreadlknight Shredder could work too.

But there are some variants that are Turtle exclusive like say: Head Droppers.

Mutant Military:
I NEED Lieutenant Leo, like Yesterday, especially if his vest can be removed... 
Yes, I'm so gonna steal the undercover Raphael trench coat to put it on that body and vanilla Leo head. Do I even need to explain the reference?
If they make the Midshipman Mike hat removable... I could not only make Shenmue references, but Metal Gear Solid references with Mikey being Old Snake.

BUUUUUUUUT, IF Playmates is a little bitch How About Mutant Military III?


Underwater infiltrator Mike:
Picture Mike in a Grey and black outfit with dull orange accents. Think a mix of Navy SEAL Mike and Solid Snake with the latter being a bigger influence. 

Heads:
Full scuba gear
Maskless Mike with camo facepaint
Maskless Mike without facepaint

Acc:
Mk23 with laser sight and supressor
MRE Pizza
MGS1 Snake wig
MGS2 Snake wig
CQC nunchaku
SDV (loosely inspired by Sewer swimming Donatello's)

Legionnaire Raph:
Dressed as a member of the French Foreign Legion but with a few Raph Red Accents.

Heads:
Legionnaire hat head
Van Damme hairstyle maskless head

Accessories:
Legionnaire Axe
FAMAS
Sai
French Beretta
French bread pizza

Spetsnaz Don:
Picture Donatello in a Spetsnaz uniform with the striped tanktop peeking from the jacket

Heads:
Red beret head
Gas Mask head

Accessories:
Ballistic knife
Dragunov Sniper Rifle.
Makarov 
Collapsible staff 
Mockba pizza

Desert Special Forces Leonardo:
Imagine Leonardo wearing a Desert camo pants with a soft goods khaki tanktop a removable plastic sleeveless camo vest.

Heads Maskless serious head
Screaming head

Accessories:
Rambo knife styled Katana
M16
Rocket launcher
Van Damme Guile wig
Liquid Snake wig
MGS2 Snake wig in black.

Vagrant Veteran Casey Jones:
Picture Casey with a Red tanktop with a soft goods jacket and Duffelbag
Heads
Unmasked
With a makeshift facemask

Accessories
Rambo knife
Soft goods poncho
Duffelbag
Makeshift golf club
M160

Disguised Wave:
We still Need Don the Undercover Turtle, but I'd like to see other characters entering the "Disguised" wave. 

I won't go into details, but here are the characters I want to see:
Casey
April
Rocksteady 
Bebop
Slash
Karai 

"Mirage" Turtles:
The Ninja Action Turtles Look Mirage-ish with the little tails. The body could be used as an "inspiration" for these ultimates.
See the Storage Shell Mike and Leo for that "Mirage-esque" style for heads. Mimic that for all 4 Turtles, add the "modern heads". Give them the brown belts and pads while keeping the individual skin tones but all red bandana and we're done.

Superheroes:
Essentially, TMNT characters making parodies of Heroes/antiheroes, and villains of existing characters... but completely ignoring Playmates vintage attempts.

Tungsten Turtle:
Donatello sporting a Metal Armor (reuse some Metalhead parts) as a nod to Ironman.
He'd have 2 heads:
Full helmet
Peeled back helmet (see Grey Fox helmet from MGS as reference) with visible face

Stunt-Turtle:
Michelangelo wearing an Orange and Green suit inspired by DareDevil's armored and Yellow with red outfits. The pouches for his Nunchucks would be on both legs.
He'd have 2 heads:
Blind bandana (black suit pre-daredevil Murdock)
Horned Cowl

Nightwatcher:
Vintagizing the CGI movie Nightwatcher by implementing some reds to the gunmetal Grey and black.

Tortu-gor:
This is an obvious nod to He-Man... taking elements from Netflix CGI He-Man mainly the pants and tanktop and combining them with traditional Barbarian He-Man elements, like a furry loincloth and furry trim on the armored bits. Maybe adding an 87 movie cape in Leonardo Blue.
2 heads:
Prince valiant hairdo 
200X hairdo

2 handed sword that looks like a half sword combined with a mechanical sword. 

Kitsune:
A Karai/Catwoman/Black Widow/Electra pastiche. 
Skintight catsuit with wrist mounted dartguns, a Kitsune mask and a small arsenal of Ninja weapons.

The Penalizer:
Rocksteady wearing a long sleeved top with removable body armor and a turtle skeleton spray painted on the armor. Purple outfit with brown long gloves and boots. It's meant to be a parody for both Nick Fury and the Punisher 

Heads:
No helmet
No helmet with Eyepatch

Accessories:
Shitload of guns

No-Koff:
Slash wearing a "bizarro" Tortu-gor outfit. Obvious nod to Faker and Bizarro. I would add a soft goods tattered hooded cloak and a skull masked head as a nod to Skeletor and a deer skull staff. 

The unbelievable Pork:
Bebop with pink body paint and olive pants.
Heads:
Growling
Screaming

Accessories:
Lou Ferrigno Hulk styled wig in purple
Half sized bent Steel Beam

The Professor:
Leatherhead dressed as a scientist. Not only is a nod to 2k3, but is also a parody of Marvel's Lizard.
Accessories:
Glasses
Flasks with chemicals

Fright Light:
Shredder in an outfit loosely inspired by the Bizarro Corps. With 虞 as the chest emblem (fear/horror in Japanese) the blades on Shredder and his helmet should glow in the dark as they're meant to be "Lantern constructs". His alternate head would be Oroku Saki with facepaint simulating a mask.

The Inquiry:
April dressed in a yellow outfit in a Question/ Rorschach outfit
Heads:
-Ninja April hair on a normal April head
-head with hat and "mostly featureless mask"
-Ninja April facemask head with hat (nod to the Shadow)

Accessories: 
Handguns and revolvers

Roboduck:
AceDuck in an Inspector Gadget/Robocop/Gizmo Duck homage:
Gadget for the Silly weapons and a Hybrid Gizmoduck/Robocop for the looks.

That's it for now... I'm saving other variants for another filler rant.

Aug 26, 2024

Hypothetical Deluxe Turtles 2.0: another rant

 Supposedly, if the 2k3 TMNT toys do well, Super7 may add double jointed limbs to traditional figures... translation: revisiting older characters and make updated versions.

I'm going to take the 4 Turtles and plus them up and not make thr Vanilla Turtles we got with new arms and legs, less accessories, and a higher price point. Also, these would be released in quarters:
Q1 Leonardo
Q2 Donatello
Q3 Raphael
Q4 Michelangelo

In order to differentiate them from the vanilla Turtles, I'd make the belts brown. I'll keep the pads color coded to differentiate from movie and 2k3.

Now the belts will have interchangeable buckles: Mirage inspired knots or Toon inspired buckles.
Each Turtle will have 4 heads, extra hands, shuriken, kunai, and cat claws from Sewer Samurai Leo, Turtle comms as standard accessories.

The hands would be:
C-grips with horizontal and vertical hinges. (Raphael gets his C-grips that allow him to hold the sai from the prongs)
Fists
Dramatic hands
Judo chop/high 3 hands
Pointing hand.

Leonardo:
His belt will still have the vintage toy crossed bandoliers.
Heads:
-Inspired by Talking Leonardo
-Inspired by Headdropping Leonardo
-Inspired by Storage Shell Leonardo
-inspired by Egg Laying Raphael

Specialized Accessories: 
2 Sword slashing effect
2 Sewer Samurai Ninjato
Soft goods hooded poncho

Donatello:
His belt will different from.vintage as he should have the right bandolier go straight over his right shoulder and his left bandolier going to his right shoulder.

Heads:
-Inspired by Wacky Action Donatello
-Inspired by Storage Shell Don
-Inspired by Power Lifting Don
-Inspired by Headdropping Don

Specialized Accessories:
Bo staff
Spinning bo staff effects
Trenchcoat
UC Raph head

Raphael:
He gets a new Vintage belt without the back pouch for the push knife.

Heads:
- inspired by Slapshot Leo 
- inspired by Storage Shell Raph
- inspired by Ninja Action Raph
- inspired by Talking Raph

Specialized accessories:
Hands with twirling Sai effect
2 Sai
Pizza slice with hole to put on sai

Michelangelo:
Belt would be close to vintage... except the nunchuck loops would be made to hold both ends of the chucks together

Heads:
-Inspired by Storage Shell Mike
-Inspired by Egg Laying Mike
-Inspired by Headdropping Mike
-Inspired by Wacky Action Mike

Specialized Accessories 
2 nunchucks
2 twirling nunchucks
Whole Pizza

I tried to keep them similar but different enough. If these do well, then revisiting some A-List characters would be a good idea... 

Aug 23, 2024

It came from the Toy Chest: BST AXN Jennika

 


The fifth IDW Turtle. A former foot Assassin turned into a Mutated Turtle thanks to a transfusion with Leonardo's Blood.

I'm not gonna li've mentioned a few times that I wanted a figure of her. But is BST AXN it? Let's find out!

Articulation 
She has double-jointed elbows and knees. The rest of your articulation is very similar to other ninja turtle figures from various companies. The loyal subject screwed the push in your ticulation again. She has a pointless waist articulation point and They're articulation on the knees and elbows. I just bad cup joints. Were they? Added the hinges.The elderly. The elbow and the articulation is not Bueno. Straight cuts where the articulation was an afterthought.And when you bend in the joint it leaves a huge unsightly gap. I know that should go on the sculpting part but it affects the articulation. Did I mention the loose joints?Because she has a lot of loose joints except the head. It's supposed to be removable , but I nearly broke a finger trying to get the head off.
3.5


Paint and sculpt
She doesn't have any visible shading outside. Some sloppy washes under her fishnet sleeves and most of her is molded in the appropriate color. The sculpting captures the IDW aesthetics quite well. Unfortunately, I'm not a huge fan of that style. The heads are far too round for my taste...
4.5


Accessories 
Extra head
2 bandana ties
4 extra hands
Sword
Scabbard
2 slash effects

The banana thighs don't wanna stay on her heads and they fall off easily. Be careful if you're display room. And ask Shaggy carpets...
I almost broke her sword while trying to put it in her gripping hand...
4.5


Overall
Jennika gets a 4.17 as her final score. She?
Could have been a bit better but but she wasn't. All the Good will I had after Krang has been flushed. At least I didn't end up buying the 4 Turtles, and April figures.

Thor's no longer feeling Hulkamania runnin' wild on him.

 Movie is deader than He-Man... the movie. We'll, shit. I WAS excited for that project. Now it is no more, Brother!
But not all hope is lost Brother! Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on their own Hulk Hogan movie, brother! Specifically a Gawker vs Hulk Hogan, Brother! Apparently, Affleck is gonna play Hogan, brother.



Aug 21, 2024

Topanga's boobs must be protected!!

 Danielle Fishel revealed she has breast cancer. Since it was detected on a vert early stage it can be treated swiftly and chances ofher being fine are rather large. The longer you ring around with an undiagnosed cancer you can DIE and leave people behind.
Unlike Breast Cancer there are other cancers like Pancreatic Cancer that are too hard to detect until it's too late. Brain cancer is also a bitcb... in other words, Fuck Cancer! 

Oh my god it was real! I could've sworn this was a fever dream but Tom Green DID MAKE  a song about rubbing balls to avoid cancer. But seriously, ladies, Check your boobs in case of cancer and guys, do as Tom Green says. Sadly that doesn't cover all cancers... .

The Acolyte is canceled.

 Disney is taking another L with the Cancelation of Star Wars: The Acolyte. I tried to watch the series but I couldn't. It was bad. The moment the show lost me was when they killed Trinity by fucking kunai. I watched the rest of the episode but didn't feel invested... kinda like  the Ewoks movies. They exist, I'm not invested in them. I believe they have the honor of having the first swear word in Star Wars..

The Star Wars F-Bomb is brought you by Diabeetus man!

In any case Weinstein's Padawan had her show killed. I'm not going to talk about wokeness ruining Star Wars or how Weinstein's Padawan was hellbent on making Star Wars Gay. The moment they lost ME as a viewer was when they killed a Jedi Master with kunai.  That's like killing Goku with a normal bullet. Makes sense, right? The only sense it makes is nonsense...

Aug 19, 2024

Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan

 Nyu! Uh... I don't get it. All I know about this anime is: Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan! Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan! Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan! Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan! 

Koshitan dances like Bully Maguire and Shikanoko is a weird Deer girl... and that in Laton America it has revived a song about a cuck... I'll be explaining now.

Cornudo is a form of saying cuck in Spanish. Means horned animal... Venado is Deer in Spanish. There was a song about a duck called El Venao. The Deer. Since My Deer Friend Nokotan was made into an anime, Latin American fans revived the song by Splicing it with scenes from Shikanoko nokonoko Koshitantan and in the following case, remaking the intro with El Venao.

So the cringe levels are to the max... but I already mentioned the whole Bully Maguire thing.


Remember Hatsune Miku of VOCALOID? Well, The Voice of Miku is also the VA of Koshitan...


Who allegedly composed the song... Maximum Cringe!! I am completely confused about the CGI Deer and how illogical yet logical this universe is. Sadly, I cannot watch it as it's on streaming services that I don't have. All I've seen is a few shorts on YouTube and Facebook reels that have piqued my interest. This makes Gintama seem coherent.


Happy Quinceañera to the House of Rants!

 Still no He-Man movie. Right now the competition is between He-Man, Spawn, and George R.R. Martin to release The Winds of Winter. But, I digress... It's been 15 years, since I started this blog. Holy shit... 15 years.

Damn... I honestly never thought I'd reach to ten years, much less 15! In 3 years my blog will be of legal age... the average lifespan of a blog is 100 days...  I've been at it for 5475 days (give or take...) then again, a few years I posted like crazy, so I MAY be a few hundred posts short, but I could potentially catch up and surpass the equivalent of a post a day. Damn... 

Life has thrown a few wrenches at my gears, main one being Mom dying and me still being hurt about it, but I'm still here. One day Haley Joel Osment will see me and I'll be a digital phantom... but I did spend 15 years of my life rambling here. Thank you for reading.


Aug 15, 2024

First Skeleborat now Riverdale Teela

 Camila Mendes who plays Veronica in Archie's Creek has joined the MOTU movie cast...

We have a cast of 3... so far doing better than other attempts at the project... It still sounds like a train wreck that will make the max steel movie look good. Buuuut It's apparently getting done this time! I mean, it's not like we've been 20 years Seeing this come from and go to development hell in a hilariously bad back and forth.


I'm not saying this movie is going to be a train wreck, but all signs point towards it being one.

Creating new TMNT characters: how many of these have I done?

 Creating new characters for TMNT can be fun... I should eventually do a MOTU one, but I'm here to talk TMNT, since like I said, it's easier.


Coinflip:
After making a genetic abomination combining a Bullet ant, a Scorpion, a Hercules beetle, and a Bee; Shredder dunked this abomination in Ooze. 

So, we have a dual headed, dual "tailed" insecticide creature. An upwards facing Hercules Beetle head with a forward facing Bullet ant head. On its back tiny bumblebee wings then a Scorpion tail and a Bee stinger. 

It has four arms 2 with scorpion pincers and 2 reminiscent of Baxter's fly arms.

The idea behind the design is that it should work in both Bipedal and quadrupled modes.

Heads:
Ant head with detachable Pincer.
Hercules beetle head
Hercules beetle head with broken horns.

Hands:
Pincer hands would be Articulated.
Baxter fly hands
New fist hands
New  flat hands for "foot mode"
New C-grips.

Accessories:
-Mandible cannon (a gun that shoots the removable bullet ant mandibles)
-Honeyspoon themed bludgeon.

The name is a reference to a coin flip... heads or tails, but with this evil dude the answer is always PAIN!!

Didgeridoo:
A Humanoid Platypus whose outfit is based on Aboriginal Australians. Something about him being an aboriginal who once helped Walkabout recover from some wounds and becoming friends with the Mutant kangaroo. He was doused with Ooze and turned into a Platypus.

3 heads:
Neutral, angry, blowing didgeridoo.

Hands:
C-grips, wide C-grips (for didgeridoo playing/weapon), Fists, relaxed

Accessories:
Spear
Woomera
Boomerang
Didgeridoo 
Aboriginal shield
Aboriginal club

The idea for the character is to have another Australian character, but it's coming from a respectful Place, not from mocking stereotypes. Sure, I may be leaning a bit into the "Magical Native" trope, but it's not fully intentional.

The toy needs to be brown, but glow green under UV light... as a nod to Platypus  doing that. (GITD Green S7 variant right there.)

Artemio Apollo:
This is a Mutant Hunter: Think a Meal Team 6 kind of guy who thinks he's an old school white game hunter like the one from Jumanji. Hailing from Buttzville New Jersey, Artemio has NEVER seen actual combat and  only became a hunter after spending a year with some survivalists in Massachusetts. 

So we're visualizing a Danny DeVito sized guy with a body similar to DeVito as the penguin.
Sporting a Thick black Skullet with ridiculously old school burnside muttonchops. 

His rotund body begin with an I'll fitting T-shirt with half his hairy potbelly showing full of Foodstuffs and sweat. Shirt says No Muties.
Sporting Knee-length cut off beige cargo pants with pockets full of Candy Bard and snacks
On his left forearms he has a Jolly Roger Tattoo.
On his right bicep a Tiger face tattoo.
He's wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors with one sagging sock.

Heads:
Dumbfounded, open mouth, and cigar smoking head (think Ace Duck)

Hands:
Gun hands
C-grip
fists

Accessories:
Trucker hat with CRAP or HATE logo
Safari Helmet
Toupee
Aviator glasses
Shotgun
Desert Eagle
Leatherhead's bear trap
I'll fitting Bullet vest
Partially eaten Hotdog

Penn Gwen:
A female Ice Skating Macaroni Penguin/human hybrid. Picture a female Ice skater wearing a sleeveless Tuxedo themed Leotard but her face is that of an anthropomorphized Macaroni Penguin with two blonde pigtails that mimic the Macaroni Penguin Eyebrows. Her arms look like human arms halfway turning into flippers. The inside part is white while the outer part is black. Her feet are penguin feet.

Heads: Neutral, open mouth, open mouth with plug for Ice effect. 

Hands: Neutral, Fists, C-grips, cryomancy hands.

Accessories: Ice swords, Ice skates (made of ice), Ice throwing knives, ice slide.

An ice skater named Gwendolyn Penn being hit by Ooze. Turned into a penguin cryomancer, she fights the foot in order to stop their Ooze distribution. (1980s toyline Shredder was making Ooze readily available everywhere.)


Spare Rib:
Imagine a Pig version of Guy Fieri, back when he was pudgier, but with the more muscular arms of current Guy. Now this Pig Guy Fieri has a removable Spare Rib poking out his left side. In Varner fashion his Right leg is a pig leg and his left hand is a pig/human hybrid hand/hoof. His outfit would be a Bowling shirt with Bacon and pig designs with flames at the bottom.
On one leg he's Sporting jeans and sneakers where the pig leg has a torn Jean leg and the pig hoof.

Heads: grinning head open mouth head that the apple hanging on his necklace cam be shoved in his mouth.

Hands:
C-grips, Fists, dramatic.

Accessories:
Various spare rib weapons:
Curved dagger
Curved sword
Boomerang
Non intrusive display rib
Larger display rib

Tray with peg (works as a stand and can be used as a tray for the baby back ribs accessory.)
Single rib with Ooze dip
Pineapple drink
Lei.

Basically the dude dipped his spare ribs in Ooze and became a flesh eating Mutant pig in a Luau attended by Shredder. Now as the ever hungry Spare Rib, he fights for the foot as he shares a dream with Shredder... eating  Ninja Turtle Soup!

Professor Birdbrain:
Picture a hunched over Humanoid owl with a lab coat with holes for his wings and an exposed brain covered by a glass dome. Sporting a soft goods furry brown long skirt (think Mattel Grizzlor's fur) that hide his VERY sexy legs.

Heads:
Normal head
Head with light piping with both brain and eyes.

Hands:
C-grips, Fists, dramatic, pointing, trigger hands

Accessories:
Sci-fi blaster, titanium graduation cap helmet, utility belt, Birdroid.

Essentially a mutated owl who was dying after its brain got too big for its head and it was encased in a Dome inspired by former Justice Force Member Doctor Dome. Once recovered he decided to become Doctor Dome's successor and became Professor Birdbrain.
(Here's the S7 weird redeco: Neon Green with Green GITD brain and other parts variants could be done as a parody of another Green owl.)

Specialist Mahble:
This is a Stone Warrior made of Marble. Unlike the big and bulky warriors like Traag or Granitor, this one is roughly MOTUC sized. His face kinda looks like David Hayter with a Kurt Russell's Plissken wig. Picture a rockier MOTUC body but with 4 fingered hands wearing a grayish white speedo with a military belt and grey boots. He also sports a torn white tanktop with his rank insignia on his chest. He also wears dog tags. (Removable)
In Varner fashion he has a few creepy crawlies all over his body. Among them, 5 Snakes:
A Grey Snake on his back a pale yellow Snake on his right forearm and a brown snake on his left bicep. A horned Viper on his left leg and a white snake shedding it's skin on the right leg.
(The snakes ARE a reference)

Heads:
Eyepatch head with Cigar, Eyepatch head without Cigar, patchless head.

Hands:
C-grips, trigger hands, Fists, wide grip/dramatic

Accessories:
Plastic Explosive
Handgun styled Blaster
Combat knife
Grenades
Evil communicator

The idea behind him is to expand the Stone Warriors sub-faction. Also, make a tribute to  to Konami since the weapon choices are a subtle nod to Metal Gear and Konami had a relationship with TMNT in the 80s and 90s. Fun fact: the original idea was a nod to Stefanie Joosten's Quiet... and The Boss from MGS3. I changed it after remembering the whole Quiet scandal... so I chose David Hayter's face as a Fuck you to Hideo Kojima.

Detective Eagle-Eye Griffin:
A Humanoid Bald Eagle dressed like a Detective from a 70s Cop Show. Button up shirt, tie, suspenders, soft goods trenchcoat with wing holes. Hands and feet look like eagle talons.

Heads:
Half asleep, neutral expression, bugged out eyes.

Hands:
C-grips, Fists, trigger hands, donut hands, dramatic hands

Accessories:
Whole donut
half eaten donut with an end wet from coffee
Splinter's mug
UC Raph gun
Police baton
Badge necklace 
Honey badger little friend (loose nod to Mel Gibson's Riggs) named Max. He's foaming up the mouth like a rabid dog.
Wings 

The idea is a Detective (Lionel Griffin) turned into an anthropomorphized Eagle whose hands and feet are similar to an eagle's talons, giving him a griffin-like appearance. He's been two weeks to retire since 1972. The idea is basically a subtle homage to Danny Glover's Murtaugh.

That's it for now... I probably have like 20-something creations here... in total, not just this rant.
until next time I'm bored

I think Bully should get a remaster.

 I know Bully Scholarship Edition was made for XB360 and Wii... I own the Wii version, but since I shelved the WiiU a few years ago, I haven't played it. Come to think of it, other than Super Mario Maker and Breath of the Wild, I barely touched the WiiU. Nevertheless, I'm here to talk Bully and Remaster.

We got the somewhat lame Remasters of GTA3, VC, and SA. We got the decent remaster of RDR, so, why not Bully.

Yes, I'm well aware that I played the PS4 port of the PS2 version recently. No, I'm going through the master collection of Metal Gear Solid and already beaten Snake Eater and the first Metal Gear. Still got to do MG2: Solid Snake, MGS, VR Missions, MGS2, NES MG, and Snake's Revenge. Waiting for Snake Eater Delta, and the MVC Collection until GTA6 shows up. There's also the other retro style beat'em-ups like Karate Kid, MMPR, GI Joe... whatever happened to Suikoden 1 and 2, and the Gex Collection? Getting sidetracked here. 

OK scholarship edition is the definitive version of Bully with extra classes, missions, and characters. Currently it's locked to dead consoles. So why not add an extra coat of paint, and bring it to living consoles ie XB Series X/PS5. I know "XbOx HaS bAcKwArDs CoMpAtIbIlItY"  but my point still stands
 I'm not asking for a 360 port. I'm asking for an improvement upon the XB360 game. Maybe adding extra outfits, mission replay, or NG+ in order to make the remaster feel a bit more than a soulless cashgrab like adding Bully to GTA+.

With a decent polish and a few extras, maybe it could serve as a way to test the waters for a Bully 2. Also Fuck gta+.

Aug 14, 2024

James Cameron is being a little bitch again

 This time he's whining about people complaining about his Remasters. Apparently, the Criticism is that the Renasters were an AI upscale made from the previous Blu-ray release.

So, Jimbo is now whining about people complaining about grain structure, colors, etc.... it's as if he forgot how meticulous he can be with movies. Did he forget that film is a visual medium? If the "enhancements" are having a negative impact on visuals, people have a right to complain.

Seems that with old Age, Cameron has become a little bitch that cries over everything. It's sad and pathetic.

Also, Avaturds 4 and 5 are supposedly already written. 


And I don't like both of them, though BR is the least awful of both... 

Aug 12, 2024

Damn You Haley Joel Osment and your Necrosight!!

 Now the motto is ruined... Now no one will tell us to Prepare for Trouble... nor To protect the world from devastation. No one will denounce the evils of truth and love... Team Rocket won't blast off to the speed of light, because James has no Jessie!! 


Also, Misty is dead too! Also no more Jigglypuff!



Rachael Lillis, the voice of the Aforementioned Pokémon characters has been seen by Haley Joel Osment. She died of breast cancer... fucking cancer... I wish I could Have my revenge on Cancer... I hate cancer! 

Holy shit, she was in Valkyrie Profile... finally, something non-Pokémon that I've heard of her that I've interacted with... gotta dust off the ol' PSP...

Wait she was Utena too!? She was Ami in DNA²? To be fair, I never watched these in English. 

But I'm saving the best for last: Like some of her Pokémon VA castmates, she did Hentai too!
She was Venus Red in Venus Five... 

In any case my condolences to friends and family.

Super7 D&D musings

 I'm awaiting Hank and Sheila by Super7... I MAY have gotten a John Cena Sheila. But I've some worries with other characters... Mrs. N, Hopefully, tonight Mr. N will be XTREEM HARD after this rant. Since he loves it when I call out S7 potential and actual bullshittery. I'm talking about the Nieves family who sent me a long-winded e-mail about me being soft on S7 and not as ruthless as I was with Mattycollector. So, no, Neitlich, I ain't talking about you.

Alright:

Single carded Uni. You read that right. I fear a single carded Uni. Making me pay $55 for Uni sounds Despicable! Unless:
  • Uni has a fully Articulated body
  • Swappable heads
  • Extra accessories for Bobby and maybe Sheila.
The same kind of worry I have for Dungeon Master, who again could have plenty of extra accessories for himself and his wayward son... (and daughter that shares a voice actress with Irma from TMNT.)

Venger and Presto also have a worrying factor...
I hate to say this, but they need soft goods tunics. Otherwise their articulation would be useless! I haven't seen what Hasbro did, since I've been unable to find anything past Hank, Bobby, and Diana. But back to Super7... I mean full soft goods tunics for them. None of that Plastic top with soft goods bottoms that look awful.

I dunno if Variants/redecos can be made, since Super7 loves those. I don't think the kids on our world variants would sell. Sure I'd probably buy Eric, Diana, Sheila, Hank, eh fuck it let's add Bobby to complete the set... but I'm just weird. But we'll have to wait and see what Super7 does... I won't buy Vengers Horse, but Venger better be able to ride it...

Aug 11, 2024

Top most wanted characters from various Super7 lines.

 I will try to keep TMNT to a minimum... give me Pizzaface, Kyle... stop holding him back, dangflabbit!

GI Joe:

Sgt. Slaughter:
This one is obvious. It's Sgt. Slaughter. One of my favorite wrestlers that is NOT Hulk Hogan.

Shipwreck:
You KNOW that his review will have Shenmue references... with him being a sailor and all that.

Silverhawks:
Melodia:
Lady Gaga before there WAS a Lady Gaga... Also, she never had a toy in the 80s... that's reason enough for me.

Yes-Man: (Esclavo en español)

Flashback:
I had him as a kid... that's it. I might even get the vac metal version. 

Dungeons and Dragons
(Aside the remaining kids, Dungeons Master, and Venger)
This one is tough... since I'd be up for some monsters like Mimics, or Beholder... Mindflayer... but for Show characters now that's tougher.
Karena: (Venger's sister... supposedly voiced by Jennifer Darling... not so subtle I need Irma hint)
Female Venger... Sometimes I'm a sucker for that shit... this is one of those.

That's it... All I want from this line is the kids, Dungeon Master and Venger.

Thundercats:
Aside Willa's Sister and a High as a kite Tygra, I nearly got everyrhing I wanted... Logistics stopped me from getting Thunderkittens, but I have Mattel's.

No. I WOULD NEVER SUGGEST 2011 Thundercats just to get Eric Matthews-O or Tygra Scott Kennedy... I won't play Mumm-Ra like a DMAN FIDDLE!! So let's see 80s characters... 80s characters... Nope, I'm done.

Power Rangers:
Yeah, no... My wallet wouldn't survive a $550 onslaught of Teenagers with Attitude. By that I mean Rangers in civilian clothing.

Since Star Trek, Simpsons, and Disney are dead won't bother with saying Q would've been great... and maybe a Hwil Hweaton just to tell him to shut up.

TMNT (Mirage):
Based on the Mirage logo on Casey, I can make Mirage requests... that aren't repainted variants. Because I recently made a list of those.

Baxter Stockman:
I just want a Human Baxter that doesn't look 2k3... I know NECA made a great Baxter, but that's for their 6 inch line. I want a seven inch scale Baxter.

Renet:
I'm not fond of the hyper censored designs from the cartoon adaptations. I want busty bimbo Renet in a bathing suit with more watches than a shady bootleg watch salesman. 

CRAP Survivalists:
Yeah, I'm sticking to the earliest stuff, because that's what I've read a few times across my existence.

Shadow Jones:
Just for the sake of Having Casey as a Loser Dad who can't barely make ends meet, but sneaks around at night to hang out with a bunch of teenagers.

Fuckdammit I turned this into a Turtles list didn't I? Fuck it!

2k3 TMNT:

Justice Force:
I want the whole team... released slowly and if S7 fixed the Shipping to PR thing, I could order from them AND other sites, thus softening the blows.

Bishop:
I want weird MIB dude... for weird MIB reasons...

Hun:
I Needs Big Chonky Boi...


Aug 10, 2024

Toy Story 5 and other odds and ends

 Toy Story has overstayed its welcome. I kinda liked 4, but I felt it was an unnecessary cash grab squeezing the last bit of soul in the franchise.


Apparently it's going to be toys vs Electronics... in 2026... We're like 20+ years late to the party, Disney... I gotta be honest, I'm not gonna go to theaters to see this one.. This screens an even bigger soulless Crap that I'll watch on Disney+ than Toy Story 4 or Cars 3. That's assuming I still have D+ by then.

Speaking of soulless Crap that I'll watch on Disney+ Frozen 3. I barely remember Frozen 2 and to be honest, I don't feel like revisiting the frozen universe... Blame Haley Joel Osment, Donald, and Goofy for that. 2027 and hopefully Adelle Dazeem does not get another overplayed song...

Apparently Icy Soulless Cashgrab is going to be a two-parter... like I said, Cash grab...

Avatar Fire and Ass is coming in 2025, December 19th to be specific. Another better wait until Disney+, because Fuck James Cameron. Also, Avaturd 2 sucked ass! Nah, I'll watch it in 2026 if I'm feeling masochistic...



Aug 8, 2024

It came from the Toy Chest: Ghost of Grune the Destroyer

 

Former Thundercat, betrayed Jaga and was exiled from Thundera. Landed on Third Earthand wreaked havoc until his death. His tomb was sealed, but recently his seal was broken and Grune lives again as a ghost. Making a mace out of Thundranium... curiously, Grune is the only Thunderian immune to the life force sapping powers of Thundranium...

He challenged the Thundercats and kicked their assessment until Jaga came. Then it became a Ghost battle and Lion-O cheated to save his Obi-Wan...

That's Grune in a Nutshell. 
Ghost Grune Figure: Unofficial mascot of Lifealert.
Grune: I've fallen and I can't get up!


Articulation:
Loose joint city.
Legs flop like LeBron James. He is EXTREMELY limp-wristed. Can't hold his mace upright.
Head cannot turn. Not even going to try and pop it because Translucent plastic and Super7 sounds like a wasted money combination. His arms are also limited thanks to the pauldrons.
3.5
Despite leaning to the door and using mounting putty, Grune's mace flipped. I put it right side up, ut flipped to the other side and brought the figure down with him. I stood the figure up and tried again. Mace flipped again, but didn't fall this time. Fell after taking the pic.


Paint and sculpt: 
He's molded in Translucent plastic with color approximation dyed into it. There are a few painted accents (eyes, mouth, and teeth). Seems the interchangeable armor has been glued on this time. None of the sculpt issues were corrected from the past release.
4.5

Accessories:
Pair of open hands
Thundranium mace
Broken seal
Sword of omens.

Compared to the solid version, this is a rip-off... But since I skipped on the wave two figure; .This figure suits my purposes.
3.0
If Grune didn't have floppy legs, he'd be better...
Ghost Jaga will get an official review on this year's Advent Calendar.


Overall:
Grune gets a 3.67 as his final score. Honestly, I blame the reduced amount of accessories, the loose joints, and hindered articulation. The only reason to get this figure is to pair it up with the Ghost Jaga figure. But MY figure, specifically seems to act like a fucking drunk.

Aug 6, 2024

A Theoretical TMNT Fighting game: a Rant

 Tournament Fighters was a decent fighter... not as great as say, Super Street Fighter II Turbo, but it was decent... so. I was thinking:
What if, we got a spiritual successor to Tournament Fighters, butthe roster is based on the Vintage Toyline. Panda Khan and Usagi not being available for rights issues.

Well, that's my dream: a 2D fighting game using 3D graphics with the following TMNT Characters:
Leonardo
Donatello
Raphael
Michelangelo
Splinter 
April
Shredder
Foot Soldier
Rocksteady 
Bebop
Krang (in his android body)
Baxter Stockman
Casey Jones
Genghis Frog
Ace Duck
Traag
Leatherhead
Rat King
Metalhead
Pizzaface
Wingnut
Scumbug
Triceraton
Mondo Gecko
Napoleon Bonafrog
Muckman
Mutagen Man
Slash
Ray Fillet
Groundchuck
Dirtbag
Tokka
Rahzar
Chrome Dome 
Walkabaout
Tattoo
Sgt. Bananas
Wyrm
Anthrax
Dr. El
Hothead
Monty Moose
Scaletail 
Merdude
Mona Lisa
Scratch
Robotic Bebop
Robotic Rocksteady 
Half court
Hotspot
Sandstorm
Zak
Kala
Dask
Vernon
Irma
Burne
Shogun Shoate
Super Shredder 
Karai

Best part is that being 3D it allows for "costumes" for example:
Donatello could be Vanilla, Undercover, Slam Dunk, 90s movie; while Shredder can be Toy, Toon, Wacky Action, Mirage, 90s movie. Genghis could have an "Atilla" skin while Napoleon has a "Rasputin" skin.

I'm thinking 4 attack buttons. No Super Moves, instead, all characters get a Desperation move. It only works once per fight and requires extremely low health to pull off. Special moves would be based on the toys, so April and Vernon have guns. Pizzaface flings Pizzas, etc.

Some of the stages could be based on the vintage playsets. The idea is to showcase a lovelettwr to the original line and a sneaky way for say, Super7 bypass the Playmates embargo.

It came from the Toy Chest: Spicy Banana edition:

 

There are a fewMartial Arts Rivalries in the history of pop culture: Bruce Lee vs Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal vs Jean Claude Van Damme, CM Punk vs Jason David Frank, John Lawrence vs Daniel LaRusso, Ken vs Ryu, and Karai vs April? Apparently that's a thing. I'm a bit rusty in my Mirage lore, but Karai apparently fucked Casey Jones shortly after April discovered she wasn't Human, but a drawing brought to life with the Gem that Kirby used to have.

In the Neftyverse I'll ignore the whole April being a drawing brought to life. I'm keeping the Karai fucked a drunk Casey behind April's back. So let's do the Wave 10 Karai and Ninja April It came from the Toy Chest Double Feature.

Let's begin with Karai.

When Shredder left to manage the American Branch of the Foot, Karai was left in charge of the Japanese Branch of the Foot. She's usually referred to as Shredder's daughter... but in Mirage continuity she had a Teenage daughter who was killed by the Shredder's Elite. Something doesn't add up. Oroku Saki was a child when Hamato Yoshi fled to America after killing Oroku Nagi. It wasn't until Saki became an adult that he killed Yoshi. But Karai is old enough to have a teenage daughter.
That daughter looks at least 16... So, Either Oroku Saki was forced to impregnate someone while he was barely pubescent and Karai followed the same fate, OR Karai was Nagi's daughter, adopted by Saki as he became the Grandmaster of the Foot. Otherwise, Karai would be waaay too old... Shredder died roughly at the age of 33 in the first TMNT issue.
Karai had a daughter about 16 years old. The youngest Karai could've been to bear a child is about 12... so 12+16= 28, which puts her 5 years younger than her "dad". Adoption is the only way.

Most people came to know Karai as the Final Boss of TMNT Tournament Fighters. 

Articulation
Karai has standard S7 Articulation. Nothing tow write home about. She feels a bit stiff, but wonder how long that will last.
4.0
I tried, even with photo mount putty Karai kept falling.


Paint and sculpt 
She's NOT reusing April 1.0 body with an overlay. She has a new torso underneath. Legs and forearms seem to be the only reused parts from Ninja April. I only wish her outfit had been deep purple... and closer to her Mirage Counterpart.
I know some folks will Argue that her outfit is black and the purple are just highlights. 
Her outfit looks more like a 2003 inspired look but "classicized". Don't get me wrong. I like it, but I wish it was more accurate to the original source... 
4.5
Karai: GameDude, Mary Sue! Where are the Turtles?
Babs: Isn't she the Foot Clan bitch that fucked Casey Jones behind April's back?
Nick: Wait, you drove a wedge between Aprol and Casey? Babs, I must exploit this, my penis demands Avenge Jones by making love to April!
Babs: But in order to do that, you may close the Karai path.
Karai; I didn't have sex with Jones. I'm appalled that O'Neil settled for that loser! Also, Why are you letting your boyfriend sleep around?
Babs: You wouldn't understand until you've tasted his dick.
Karai: Kare ga inkyubasuda to iu koto wa shitte iru. No, GameDude, no sucky sucky five Dorra for you.
Nick: I resent that you think I'm a racist like that.



Accessories 
2 extra heads
8 Extra hands
3 Arrows
Bow
Kama
Katana
Katar
Kusarigama
Bendy scarf

Nitpicks:
- I needed to work some of her c-grip hands as the thumbs and indexes were fused and useless to hold weapons. She can't properly hold her Arrows and I won't risk slicing a finger off. Unlike the c-grips that had a small amount of flashing, the bow hands have the fingers fused together and my shaky hands won't cut it... pun not intended.
- C-grips are not made for the thick handles for the Turtle weapons.
-the Hip sheath is supposed to be a Quiver, Arrows are far too long.

By amount she should get a 5.0, but due to me having to do "surgery" I'll dock half a point.
4.5
Nick: Stop Generic Japanese Foot Kunichi!
April: Nick, I know that's the homewreckong bitch, Karai in disguise. I can smell Casey's Adidas cologne and Jim Bean.
Karai: We didn't fuck. Don't listen to Captain Horndog. He just wants to get in your pants.
April: I know Nick wants to get in my pants... that's like saying Michelangelo likes Pizza. He probably wants to get in YOUR pants too!
Karai: No he doesn't! Being Shredder's daughter shrivels all cocks! Everyone's afraid my dad will slice their dicks off!
Nick: I'm not afraid of Shredder. In fact I'd make love to you right in front of him, Karai!
April and Karai: Shut up! The adults are talking!


Overall 
Karai gets a 4.33 as her final score. Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad figure. It just feels that Kyle doesn't understand the Vintage Playmates style... God I miss the fourhorsemen. They understood the assignment better. Kyle gave us a Classicized 2003 Karai. Shredder's Revenge got Karai a bit better as they brought back the Mirage purple shading.

I'm not knocking the design so much as the color palette. A more "vintage line" Karai would've been in Vintage Foot Soldier/ Shredder colors. Not this 2k3 Red and black scheme. But we get some pieces for Jennika though...



N
ow that we finished the Spicy, let's tackle the Banana... Of course, I'm talking of Nick Cade's first crush, April O'Neil.

The vintage figure looked more like a cavewoman... wait... not a cavewoman, she's supposed to be an Oni!! The Tiger stripped loincloth/dress is the clue... clever, Playmates... but 90s kids wouldn't have an idea on what the hell an oni was. So, Super7 had the smarter idea of putting April in a more traditional, if not conservative Ninja Outfit... but in Banana yellow, because April. 

Articulation
April has standard S7 Articulation. Nothing tow write home about. She feels a bit stiff, but wonder how long that will last. Also, she feels like she has a smidge more range than Karai.
It's not gamebreaking, but it's slightly noticeable.
4.0


Paint and sculpt
This is a brand new body that doesn't seem to reuse any parts from the previous April. Somehow Super7 manages to screw the pooch. You can't swap heads with the original April. The pegs on the heads do not match.
But now that we got that out of the way, let's deal with April as her own character.
We have plenty of parts to make Aska... (new lower legs, hands,and heads is what we need.)
There's no "source material" to compare her to, but it looks as fine as April can look on a yellow gi. Also, why 2 loop holes for sai when she only has one?
3.5
April: So, are you ready to see a trick?
Nick: Not really, but you'll do it anyway and you'll also be a gigantic tease, knowing that I've has a crush on you as a kid and will string me along, since I've been Kidbrotherzoned, which is The Friendzone on steroids.
April: But the kidbrotherzone let's you casually find some of my used panties.


Accessories
2 extra heads
8 extra hands
Mic nunhucks with real chain
Mike Nunchucks with sculpted plastic chain
Don bo
Leo sword 
Single Raph sai
News camera
2 shuriken

Like Karai, I have Nitpicks with the C-grips, but I only had to do a single hand. Unlike Karai, the sculpted chains on the Mike chick's is a load of bullshit. But these nitpicks aren't enough to dock her points.
5.0
Nick: Are you sure you want to fight me?
April: Definitely. If I win, you'll desist all efforts to get in my pants.
Nick: But what if I win?
April: You won't since you are forbidden from using your powers!
Nick: Fine no powers, but if I win, I'm stuffing you like a Thanksgiving Turkey and glaze you like a Krispy Kreme donut... WHILE Jones watches!


Overall
Ninja April gets a 4.17 as her final score. I have to be honest here. She's OK. She COULD'VE BEEN BETTER, but she isn't. Guess that it's tine fir a Vanilla April 2.0... just to correct the discrepancies between This and vanilla April Figures.