I can be a real life Don Corneo...

 Final Fantasy VII fans, rejoice! First let me play the music of our people.

By play I mean find a sexy cover of Don Corneo's theme...

I bet you're wondering what do I mean with this? Well, we live in a world where Final Fantasy 7 sex dolls exist!!

Yes, you can go to sleep cuddling a ghetto florist or be crushed by Tifa's big... personality!

Yup... at least Final Fantasy VII has a short list of ladies... Imagine if they did Resident Evil...

Insert Jill Sandwich, Redfield Bloodline, and any other Resident Evil female reference...

Or Street Fighter...

My wallet just committed Sudoku.