MY EYES!! I Need Brain Bleach! (Equestria Girls Review)

I had to do some babysitting duty earlier today and you know what? I had a chance to watch a certain Pony Movie while Babysitting...
Come on! I know you want to make that joke... Hit it, Spike!


There, you happy now!? Let's move on to the review. I know I rambled about my fears about Equestria Girls. I must give a trigger warning! I may use some words that should not be repeated by kids... also, there will be spoilers... I shall not review this one as I'm watching it since the movie is not mine. Going off by Memory and a few notes.

We start with the Mane 6 going to The Crystal Empire. Twilight is unable to fly after doing it so well on the Season 3 Finale. So, they arrive and go to bed, when the plot really starts!! A Thief steals Twilight's crown and goes through a Mirror into a Parallel world, where only Twilight Sparkle can stop her... She is Sunset Shimmer: Better known as the Supreme Mega Bitch! and she needs the Element of magic for stuff... cause she's a Supreme Mega Bitch! and did I mention she's a bitch?

Well, the other world is the Human World. Twilight has to face High School... In a world where Everyman is a Human version of Everypony, except the small snafu that the Mane 5 are not friends... Want to guess why they are NOT Friends? The movie will tell you later... If you guessed this:

Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Then you either, saw the movie or are NOT a five year old girl. So Twilight begins befriending the mane 5...well the Human versions of the Mane 6 (counting Twilight)as she tries to win the fall formal, because Humanshy gave the crown that fell through the portal to Principal Celetia... Celestia is a Principal? Why am I thinking of this? In any case we get lots of references to the show and it's characters like Trrrrrrrrixie! or the CMC... Did I mention that Twilight lives like a hobo in the library. Also, Supreme Mega Bitch has Snips and Snails tailing Twilight and gathering evidence whenever she acts abnormally (like a Pony). So, Twilight helps the Mane 6 be friends and they try and help her win the crowd.Twilight is bound to lose the crown due to Supreme Mega Bitch using the Snips and snails videos.

Mandatory High School Musical Number... with Derpy Cameo!!

So Supreme Mega Bitch sends her lackeys Snips and Snails to destroy the gym and stop the Fall Formal (cause the Portal to Equestria will close in 3 days after Twilight went through it and this is Day 2...) By using Photoshop made easy for 5 year old girls, Sunset Shimmer cut and pasted pictures of Twilight Sparkle breaking the gym. Vice Principal Luna is shown the truth by...

FLASH!!! Ah! aaaah! Sentry. So Twilight and friends fix the gym by the power of a Musical Montage

Thus Twilight wins the crown and goes to the fall formal... but Supreme Mega Bitch will not give up so easily:

She steals the crown and then...

Sunset Shimmer is the freaking Devil!!

How in the Hell do you beat the FREAKING DEVIL!? Moon Prism Power!! MAKE UP!!

Then the Pony Senshi give Supreme Mega Bitch a Taste of the Rainbow...
Like this:

Then they Dance!

Twilight returns home and meets Ponyfied version of FLASH! AH!AAAHHH!

THE END!! Thank Celestia for that... the ending.

I kinda like it, but I think I'm leaning more to the side of DISliking it. I'm still hung up on the whole My Little Pony Movie needs to be about FREAKING PONIES!! Not Retreading The first Episodes of MLP but with humans and Fighting Satan... Some jokes were good, Music was OK, Voice Acting was on par with the show, decent amount of references... Not sure if Vending Machine was a reference to Sherclop's Sweetie Bot... speaking of Sherclop, I can't wait for Sherclop's take of Equestria Girls for Friendship is Witchcraft.

I have to say that if I were giving it a numerical rating in scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is trash and 10 is Excellent, I have to say a 3.5 The movie fell flat in many areas. It covered a lot of the High School movie cliches, it was incredibly predictable... even for a movie aimed at 5 year old girls. All my fears came true. Methinks that this project was a huge #$%^ You! at the bronies... Not to mention how it reeks of Marketing Department Birth.

With that said I'd totally love Ponies of Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer. Well at least I KNOW one of those is going to have a pony... Evil Demonic Bitch... Perfect toy for Little girls!!