Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game

Sorry for the seemingly confusing title, but you can't always get The Best of Both Worlds when trying to describe a title of a movie based game with "The Movie" in its title. Y'all know that I'm a hardcore Hannah Montana fan... So this game called to me. Mostly because it's from the Pre-not-really-a-Meltdown-but-a-lame-ass-stunt-to-show-I've-grown-up Miley era... Hell I bought one of the Disney Sing it! Games Because it had Miley/Hannah in it (not to mention a little Billy Ray Cyrus and Ashley Tisdale singing Fabulous!) So, back to HM:TM:TG as you may have guessed it's a licensed game based on a movie property. We know the stigma that these games often get. The word Shovelware gets tossed around a lot. We've seen some gems like Spider-Man 2 that make licensed games look good, but we've had crap games like Batman and Robin that push the envelope down on movie games.

Let's take a look at Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game, shall we?

So, the premise of Hannah Montana is pretty much a Disnified Version of Jem and the Holograms, minus the Holograms and anything related to the Hasbro property. The game is LOOSELY inspired by the movie of the same name... Because Videogame. So, before going any further I shall begin to rate this: In videogames I use a 1-10 Scale where 1 is bad and 10 is good.

Story:
Well, it's a loosely inspired take on the movie with additional side-quests thrown in for the videogame factor.
4.0

Graphics:
This is a PS3 Title, but it just doesn't look like one. Graphically speaking, this game could have shown up on PS2 and it would have looked virtually the same... wait, let me see which consoles had the game... PS3, XB360. Wii... Aha! There's our culprit! The game was made for Wii as well... So, that explains the graphics
2.0 

Sounds and Music:
Well, the Music IS mostly on the Hannah Side of the Equation and it's Hannah Songs. If you're into Hannah Montana, then the music is good. Voice Acting on the other hand... It's decent, BUT there is one TINY problem with it... The game LACKS THE FOLLOWING VOICES:
Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jason Earles and Emily Osment. A Hannah Montana game WITHOUT MILEY CYRUS PLAYING MILEY/HANNAH is a travesty!
5.0 (Because of the Music.)

Gameplay:
As Hannah, you do concerts where you sing, dance and interact with the band.
As Miley you walk around Crowley Corners doing fetch quests, talking to people and playing some mini-games like riding your horse Blue Jeans.

This is going to sound sexist, but many of the current games made for girls are basically what keeps females from gaming.
Look at this old School game for girls:

Compare it to Hannah Montana and you'll see what I mean.

1.0

Controls:
I'm playing the PS3 version of the game. You rely on the analog stick to move Miley S...L...O...W...L...Y... across Crowley Corners. Except the Blue Jeans mini game where you use the SIXAXIS to awkwardly maneuver the Horse around the farm
As Hannah, you rely on the analog sticks, the X Button and the SIXAXIS Controller to do your Stage Routine... VERY AWKWARDLY. Some of Hannah's segments are similar to what we've seen on games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band on the easiest setting, but they're done with the standard controller instead of the special Instrument controller.
1.0

Fun Factor:
Zip, Zilch, Nada, the big goose egg! This game is NOT FUN AT ALL and this comes from a Hannah Montana fan. The only good thing is that it helps you pad your trophies if you play online and all that.
1.0 (since the minimum is 1)

Overall:
Hannah Montana gets a pathetic 2.33 which, to be honest is me being a bit generous. It's obvious that its awkward controls come in part from the gimmicky "Motion sensing" gaming that popularized the Wii, but doesn't work well with other consoles with standard controllers (like I mentioned in the old TMNT Smash-up Review) This game makes other shovelware games feel ashamed of being compared to Hannah Montana:The Movie:The Game. Best part is playing it on another's PS3 so they get achievements on this game... If you can find this game, it's the perfect Troll gift you can give someone. Man vs Wild would be the second best troll gift one can get... nudge nudge wink wink!!