What is a Netflix? A Miserable Pile of Secrets! (Castlevania trailer reaction)

July 7, 2017... Spider-Man returns to the Big Screen AND Season1 of Castlevania begins on Netflix.


OK, a NES and a red bootleg Castlevania cartridge...
A dude pops the game in and the Netflix Logo appears on the TV... I'm not sure if he pushed down on the cartridge... We get a faux NES choose your game screen... Think Action 52.

We get a pseudo NES trailer that turns into an anime and we start with Dracula's castle... I think. We see a man standing in front of a huge castle door for a second, then we see bunch of impaled skeletons. We get a small glimpse of maybe Belmont... We see Vampire Killer, so it has to be Belmont... He whips it and we see Blood,  raining fireballs... Maybe Alucard rising from a coffin, An explosion that gives Michael Bay a half-chub, Alucard with a sword, a girl who may be Sypha, Belmont tossing knives, then standing in front of a guy whose face is bloody. Dracula doing something, a corpse falling, a guy who may be Grant, The doors open and Belmont enters the castle... Castlevania on Netflix... July 7

One nitpick... Where is this?


Other than that, color me interested...

At least it's not...