The Last Jedi... The rant

I saw it on the 15th, but being considerate and not wanting to interrupt the Advent Calendar, I waited until today to rant.
There will be Spoilers...

Before I start, I must tackle once again the whole George Lucas didn't like it thing.
It doesn't matter what Lucas thinks. Sure he created Star Wars, but he also sold out to the mouse. He claims that VII is a retread of IV... Well, so is I... But with Jar Jar, a semi pointless Space NASCAR section. No seriously, Ep. I IS A New Hope...
A whiny Skywalker from Tatooine is recruited by a Space Wizard who is the only hope that a Royal has. They face off with an evil Space Wizard and the good Space Wizard dies and the kid needs to get a new teacher. Also the kid blows up a space station.

But then again the Prequels... The idiotic prequel fueled changes to the original trilogy. All that crap that came from an unchecked George Lucas. Toy know WHY THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY IS SO GOOD? Lucas had people around him that weren't afraid to tell him that his idea was stupid, that he was wrong, or that if a certain scene was played out differently it could work. By the time the Prequels came out he was surrounded by flunkies and yesmen.

So, Episode VIII...
It had a bit too much comedy. I was laughing a bit too much for a Star Wars movie...
It got dark super fast. Some scenes might disturb some adults who will claim that the movie is too scary for children.
There are visible alien tatas in the movie. Giorgio Tsukalos may be banned from cinema for pulling off a Paul Reubens... (INsert pee wee laugh here.)
Porgs! Porgs! Available in stores... POOOOOOOOORRRRRRRGSSSS!!!!1!
The Carrie Fisher send-off was a dick move.
Mark Hamill had a few slip ups with his voice and it went into Joker mode.
Snoke kinda looked like a zombie Hugh Hefner... If his head was a penis.

Ok if you hit the jump, then you are in the spoiler zone...
Go back... You have one last chance...
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Last chance... If you don't want spoilers don't read beyond this point...







Green Milk origins... Not Blue, Green.







That's enough consideration.


What the Hell!? Killing Like Skywalker!? Now that Carrie Fisher died NONE OF THE MAIN HUMAN CHARACTERS REMAIN! If Luke had to die, it was supposed to be on Episode IX. Now the old geezer fans of the original trilogy have NO REASON TO COME BACK.
Also, what a crappy way to end the huge threat of Snoke. Hilarious, but all the buildup led to nothing. One quick unceremonious slice.

Surprising the cameo is... The Force Astral Projection Luke was badass... I mean DBZ Vegeta levels of badass... Shame they Obi Wan'd him in the end... Please let there be a Force Ghost Luke for IX
Loved that they knocked down Rey a few notches... She's still an overpowered Mary Sue, but they had her struggle a bit.
Finn and Poe were great. The newcomer Rose was entertaining. Puerto Rican Lando Calrisian (played by Benicio del Toro) was pretty cool. Betting he will return for IX.
Dr. Sattler's character had a nice plot twist, but goddammit they killed Luke Skywalker.

I understand that the original cast is getting old and dying, but it kinda feels like they're pushing the old cast off to keep in the new folks. At least Rey and Ben aren't siblings yet.

Now thinking on the movie itself... So little happened yet so much.

Rey went to get training from Luke. At the same time The First order was engaging Leia and the Resistance and we're giving chase while the ships were losing fuel... Then final battle. KINDA reminds me a bit of Empire, but I am VERY DISAPPOINTED THAT REY DIDN'T LOSE ANY LIMBS.
Shame that Carrie Fisher died, cause Leia used freaking Jedi Powers in this movie...

What I'm trying to say is that I'm torn with this movie. Some choices I loved, but others I hate with the strength of 1000 suns. I liked it better than Force Awakens, but it still can't hold a candle to the original trilogy.

This movie almost feels like a conclusion, but  there's one more movie left... Hopefully Solo won't suck and Disney figures out that Ewan McGregor could play an older Ben Kenobi for the Kenobi movie with Luke as a child. Sebastian Stan could play Like Skywalker in a side story between Return and Force Awakens. Also we totally need a Jar Jar movie...