Toycember bonus: it came from the Toy Chest: It's Brie Larson's

 

Captain Marvel Sutnt Double. Seriously, the figure looks like Brie from 20ft. That's like 6 meters for the Euro folk. I had to get that out of my way. This was on super duper clearance at BBTS. I think I paid like $13 for her. Sorry, $12.60. From the $25+ MSRP 2019 Marvel Select Figures had.

I won't go into describing the character, because blegh... disclaimer: The review contains a fictional story with poor caricatures of existing people. They're not to be taken seriously.

Ok: articulation... let's do that! 

Easy there, Jay Sherman! Carol's articulation is good only on paper. The execution, it stinks!

Her shoulders are blo ked by her pauldrons. Her elbows have less than 90° range. Super loose ankles.

3.5

Brie: Wait, aren't you The GameDude of the MuTeens? The one with videogame powers?
Nick: Aren't you?
Brie: Brie Larson, from Captain Marvel?
Nick: I was thinking Running Wild with Bear Grylls.
Brie: Yeah, that too! I am a Huge Metroid Fan! I wanna feel what is like being inside the Morphball. I'll give you a 3D replica of my pussy.

So her articulation is a mixed bag. Her knees are double-jointed, ratcheted and tight. Hips are a bit loose. But let's move to the dreadful part...

Nick: No way! I'm not gonna fall for some MeToo bullshit!
Brie: But it's right here!
Ashley VO: Dingus! She has a 3D replica of the Cat that fucked up Nick Fury's motherfucking eye! She's allergic to real cats.
Nick: I'll let you have the Samus experience, but you must fuck a friend of mine.
Brie: That sounds like some Weinstein MeToo story. How about Motorboating and some butt grabbing? 
Nick: I'll throw in Screw Attack, and Shinesparking, but only if you give him a clothes on lap dance where you Bounce on it! *inhales* CRRRRRRRRRAZY STYLE! Maybe even farther on it a little bit! That would make him goon!
Brie: Through clothes. No nudity involved.
Nefty-kun VO: DO NOT WANT!!

The only positive thing I can say is that her paint job is pretty good. I don't see any sloppiness on the sculpting. On the other hand well she doesn't not look like Brie Larson at all.

3.0

Brie: I'm going to regret this.
Nefty-kun VO: Join the club! I wanted Queen Amidala, not Scott Pilgrim's ex.
Brie: The things I do for Samus.
Nefty-kun VO: The things I do for Yu-Gi-Oh!

The alternate head looks a bit better.But that's just a helmet with only an exposed mouth. Let.

's talk about the accessories which are the saving grace of the figure.

She has her Flerken, the alternate head. I didn't take pics of her with it unbecause.I cannot remove the vanilla head and i'm not gonna break the figure. She's got 8 extra hands. A bit of an overkill, but it is what it is. 

She also possesses not one, not two, but Three Display Stands. Clear stand to have her hovering... black standing stand and diorama flight stand as she's barely exploding into the sky.

Brie: Fuck this shit I'm put! I'm not going to get groped by an incel fat fuck who wants to play Yu-Gi-Oh!
Nefty-kun VO: Whoa! Did you just not only body shamed me, but reverse slut shamed me!? You are going to get canceled!

By sheer number she gets a 5.0 but I have complaints especially with the stands. The flightstand puts her in an awkward situation with her weak ankles. With the clear stand i'm afraid it's gonna break at the middle joint , which is ridiculously stiff and hard to move.

For the love of Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, use the Alternate head when posing her floating. Otherwise she looks like she was hung... hanged. Sorry ESL... sorry about the mental image of a Horsedicked Futa-Brie. Seriously, sculptor fucked up! She looks as depressed as FutureCanoe's voice.

Her overall score is a 3.83, which could've been better if the articulation was better. Or her face looked like her.

Nefty-kun: bdlbdldbdlbdlbdlbdlbdldbl!
Brie: Wow, you must be pretty desperate to be Motorboating me so enthusiastically. You love my ass so much by the way you're caressing it.
Nefty-kun: Done!
Brie: What do you mean Done!? I haven't gooned!
Nefty-kun: Deal was that I was supposed to Motorboat you and play with your ass so you could feel what it's like to be Samus.
Brie: But did you goon?
Nefty-kun: Didn't even get a half-chub.
Brie: Oh no! You're gonna keep touching me and rubbing yourself on me until you jizz in your pants! I NEED YOU TO CUM FOR ME! 
Nefty-kun: Because you want me, or because of your ego?
Brie: Ego. I'll even strip to my underwear if it helps.
Nefty-kun: Look, Cheese theft. It's not me, it's you. While yes, you are an attractive llooking ady when you aren't being an insufferable twat, you just make me more flaccid than thinking of a retirement home orgy. You could punish me by sitting on my face and force me to lick your snatch and I would remain impotent as El Puma without Viagra. And scene!
Nick VO: Damn, Creepy Nefty... you were savage.
Nefty-kun: Well, it helps knowing that it wasn't the real Brie Larson and it was just your Ro-butler Jenny.
Jenny VO: I haven't even started yet.
Brie: Insufferable twat you said? Better an insufferable twat than getting kicked in the nards!
*kick*
Nefty-kun: ¡coño! ¡Me cago en la crica del Diablo coño!
Brie/Jenny: Gotcha! We can't afford to invite the real Brie for this! Besides, she wouldn't be that desperate!
Nefty-kun: screw you guys, I'm going home! Screw you guys! Home!