Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
Essentially THIS IS THE WAR ON Christmas. Movies, toys, public access media, household items... Making America Great Again? Was the Great attached to Depression? Because that's where we're headed.
Goddammit! I didn't want to get political, but seems it's inevitable. Technically I have no horse on this race, since I live in an unincorporated territory. As you've seen in past rants, I'm not exactly known to be a friend to the Social Justice minded folks. But I'm pretty much against all of this!
Bringing back manufacturing to the US isn't a bad idea in paper, but it requires a degree of finesse that Trump is currently lacking. Also it takes a shit ton of time to set up the logistics. What I'm saying is that the execution is not making America Great. Not to mention the incredible price increases with Made in the US... due to the regulations within the country. There's a reason why manufacturing plants are in China, Vietnam, Bangladesh, India...
I've said it before, it's not just toys. Electronics, household appliances, automotive parts... pretty much EVERYTHING'S "Made in China" now.
I just hope I can reach 2029 with the blog for it's 20th anniversary! If the toy industry dies, half my blog dies as well. Guess I will have another rant coming... but in the meantime enjoy a belated may the 4th Pic from Trump.
Most animated movies aren't made in America. DreamWorks, Disney, nickelodeon, they all outsource their animation outside the US.
Also, this would make Anime more expensive than it already is. Fantasy movies are usually filmed in Europe or New Zealand because not only it's cheaper, but they have environments that cannot be replicated in the US.
First he came for the toys... now he's coming for movies... I don't want to continue that train of thought, since I haven't gotten a goof book in ages. This will only make movies more expensive AND with all the other tariffs, people won't be going to the movies as much.
My second Beastie Boys figure, Cochese, played by Nathan Wind, played by MCA. I got him because of the police detective outfit.
I won't pretend like I'm a mega fan of the Beastie Boys. I heard them in Higj School, but I also was listening to this back then:
So my high school era musical taste is questionable at best .
So let's deal with bad cop Cochese.
The duct tape head reminds me that more characters should have kidnapped heads.
Articulation
The standard Super7 articulation is here. His crotch ball joint is a bit on the loose side and it scares me. Another broken red Ranger reference. Now, if we were to get a Verbon Fenwick for TMNT, this figure gives us a glimpse at the articulation due to the sculpt somilarties between him and a theoretical Vernon.
4.5
My Action Figure Sex toys have better handcuffs... with real chains.
Paint and sculpt
He kinda looks like MCA dressed up as Cochese. He even has the empty dual gun holsters. His glasses are shiny silver that almost look reflective. At the same time I kinda see a Charles Bronsob impersonator.
4.5
Accessories
2 extra heads
4 extra hands
Police baton
Bomb
Cuffs
Car speaker mic
Cochese is going to do the Beat-ing part of a beat cop.
I dunno why the ReAction figure has bananas, but I wish this one had them. Or pew pew hands.
4.5
two down, one to go.
Overall:
Cochese gets a 4.5 as his final score. It's a good score, but it couldn't get any better without betraying the purpose of the line, which is a tribute to the video.
By the title, you can guess that I've got a Tobry Maguire.As Spider-Man specifically black version. I got in my bigbadtoystore and the markup was like $2 over Hasbro pulse. The savings.
Were on the shipping for this figure and a few more items including a naked snake funko pop.
Yes, the very first thing I did after opening the figure.Well take pictures of the emo Peter dance.
Articulation
Pete does whatever a Peter can... Spider-Man, not so much.
His articulation rivals that of renew your vows Spider-Man. Sadly it doesn't work as well.
The closest I can get to the MVC Stance.
4.0
Paint and sculpt:
This is essentially the no way home Spider-Man in black with silver webbing. The star of the show is the Emo Pete head. It has a much better likeness to Tobey than other figures.
4.5
Accessories:
Spidey head
4 alt. Hands
Symbiote face attachment.
That last one feels like a comic book accessory and not a Spider-Man 3 accessory. I gotta be honest. The higher price point is not worth it.
4.0
Overall:
Before I give the final rating. I have to say one thing: This figure should've been dark Peter and not black suit, Spider-Man. 4.17 is his final score.
By the way, happy 18th Anniversary of this shitty movie.
I cried when Uncle Ben died. It was seeing something I had read about hundreds of times, but for the first time, I felt it. Little did I know that roughly 13 years after that, my soul would be shattered by my Mom's death. I hadn't watched the Raimi trilogy in years. Last time I did Mom was alive. Now, I saw the first movie recently. It hurt. I wailed I ugly cried. I can't believe it's been that long.
Don't you dare remind me Burton'sBatman is 36 years old... or that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is 35... .I don't need reminders that I'm getting old. My body reminds me every single day.
Domino's has Stuffed Crust Pizza and...
It's OK tasting. I mean. It's not great, but it tastes slightly better than current Pizza Hut. Honestly I'm not a huge fan of the parmesan cheese. Sprinkled atop the crust. It took 25 years for Papa Johns to adopt the stuffed crust and 30 for Domino's. Holy shit! I can't believe it took so damn long.!
What in the Actual Fuck?
I thought it was a joke, but Trump wants to be the Pope now?
Here are the requirements for Pope:
Must be a baptized Catholic male.
Must have the use of reason.
Must be eligible for episcopal ordination.
Donald Trump was raised Presbyterian and now claims to be non-denominatinal.
Right out the bat, that eliminates him.
I will not touch number two because it will get political. But fuck it! Just by asking to be the Pope, despite not being Catholic, that automatically cancels point 2. There, and I didn't mention his politics at all!
Number 3 requires him to be a high level Bishop... which he isn't. So, all this ridiculousness is making him look bad.
Since NECA isn't afraid of icky characters, this could be a thing. Not to mention toy characters have been Toon Styled...
This Quick doodle uses the Burne/Hunan Rocksteady body as a base. That would give Pizzaface some DeVito proportions. This would also give NECA a Lot of leeway to make some funky toon styled accessories.
Obviously things like his toxic Pizzas would be a thing. He'll, even the mini Pizza Monsters could be added as accessories to him. The interchangeable leg like a poor man's trap jaw could still be a thing with new attachments and other stuff.
But this would end up as a target exclusive and I'll be screwed by Scalpers. Still it would be hilarious and awful if only NECA ends up giving us Pizzaface while Super7 does nothing in the Pizzaface race.
Sorry wrong Double Dragon. This is based on the arcade game, not the Amerocan cartoon. Be thankful that i'm not using the live action movie.
The Double Dragons are a pair of martial artists who are twins and have to fight the Shadow Warriors. Formerly Black, but two Cauc-Asians beating up "black warriors" Sounds a bit racist. So this dude that I didn't but, Willie, kidnapped blonde Dude's girlfriend Marian. So the twins tag team and beat up a bunch of people to get her back.
Wait... heads pop off! Were alternate heads intended ar one time? Fuck it! Billy will have black hair and Jimmy will be Blond... just like the cartoon. So from now on Jimmy will be blond and Billy will have black hair.
Articulation:
Seriously, Macaluso? How could you fuck this up so bad!? From the waist up the Articulation is pretty good including Neck. Then from the waist down it all goes to shit. No thigh cut, no boot cut? That reduced the leg poses by a lot.
Yes, the same Jerry Macaluso that was in Sci-Fi Channel's Face Off season 2? The guy who was behind SOTA Toys... that Jerry Macaluso
3.5
Paint and sculpt:
Billy and Jimmy share the same sculpt... aside heads. They're based on the arcade game and the likeness is decent. I have a slight issue with the black haired head. Something looks off.
4.5
Accessories:
3 sets of extra hands. One of the flat hands has a peg for the drum.
2 knives
Bat
Dynamite stick
Drum
Since I was able to swap heads, it almost seems like Extra heads were thought of, but scrapped... or they thought. People love the show the show of the dragons swap the heads the heads of the Dragons have new forms new forms of the Dragons. Like the toon the toon of the dragon!
I guess I got carried away with the show intro. All jokes aside an extra flat hand without pwg would've been nice for symmetry sake.
4.5
Overall:
Jimmy and Billy Lee get 4.17 now. It's the score the score of the dragons. Not too bad too bad for the Dragons and the line will most likely die thanks to
The line was VERY close to being freaking awesome, but the lack of Articulation set it back. I will try and get Marian, Linda, and Abobo, if made.
This is REALLY hard: because Pizzaface has a lot going against him.
He has no other media appearances outside Shredder's Revenge.
Kyle from Super7 gets grossed out by him. (That's the whole point, Kyle)
Playmates will most likely bitch for changes if it's design was in-house.
Vintage Purists will always moan in case of changes.
So, as I said, Pizzaface has a lot against him. Sadly, Changes are a necessity. So, I want to spitball some ideas to "tweak" Pizzaface and change him enough for Playmates to not freak out, but keep him "close enough" to Classic Pizzaface.
Due to new articulation, he won't look EXACTLY like Vintage from the get go.
Specifically the weird crotch and left leg sculpt. That needs to change as the sculpt is illogical. The way it currently sits is anatomically impossible. I KNOW what they were trying to do but the sculpting and engineering kinda failed here.
It's all due to the pizza box. With Modern articulation that issue can be fixed. That would also require his peg leg to get SOME articulation. I'm thinking the stump would be at mid thigh, so he loses knee articulation but can move his leg a bit more. I will deal with the pizza box issues in the accessories section of the rant. Also the legs would be placed properly, since technology can do that now.
See Blob, The. We can have Pizzaface being FAT and mostly posable. Many of his poses can end up with him a bit lopsided due to his pegleg being above the knee. (It's on Purpose)
Of course, I don't want a Blob Sized Pizzaface. I'm thinking something slightly bigger than the Turtles, but chunky like Slash.
Now here come the most hated part: The other changes in sculpt and paintjob.paint job.
Let's start with his shirt. Instead of being a wife eater, the shirt is a T-shirt that got its sleeves torn off, the neck widened and turned into a tanktop. It should be red but not the bright toy red, but a dirty red. Basically giving frayed edges to the vintage tanktop so "it's different from Playmates".
He would lose waist articulation to preserve the plastic Apron BUT the knife is removable. The bottles and implements on his back are properly painted.
The Apron should obviously be dirty and in a grimy off-white color. The pants will be a dirty olive green instead of blue... it's an Easter egg.
He's sporting the colors of the Italian Flag... despite the only Italian thing he has is his pizzeria and is not authentic Italian.
Last but not least: his left foot should be a partially broken Neon green croc... Neon green is a nod to the Ooze and the croc is a nod to Mario Batali, which will be the inspiration for the "Modern" Pizzaface head.
Leg Accessories:
Here we have a few things to peg on the leg:
Gangrenous stump: Self explanatory. It's what his leg looks like without the attachments. This plugs into the pant hole.
The Attachment cap: this plugs into the pant hole and lrts you plug the different attachments.
Cleaver: works just like you remember. Can be held on his hands or used as a peg leg
Pizza peel: This one is new but has a similar function
Freed Pizza cutter: This one is new but inspired by vintage.
Stuck Pizza Cutter with a slightly more bent corner on pizza box (to use on wider stances)
Rolling pin: is the closest thing to am actual peg leg. He would be with this one in box for the sake of "being different enough from Playmates"
The parts that plug to the attachment cap are also his weapons.
We have to give up the Ninja Pizza Box shield to appease Playmates. But I'm sure fans will 3Dprint solutions
I need to give him Head: He has 8.
No, I've not gone mad... yet. I mean there are no MuTeen Interruptions on this rant. Thanks Zoloft.
"Modern" head, aka the in card head: Take Mario Batali's head, knock a few teeth out and give it Pizzaface proportions. Plus add a prototype siamese twin madball head that can be covered by the hat. Making it look like another Mario Batali.
Prototype head: This head would be the Vintage based head but made to look like the prototype, not the actual figure, including the siamese head.
Shredder's Revenge head: This head is somewhat close to the vintage head, BUT it has far more egg shape to it, ears are longer and a larger jaw. It also comes with a siamese head.
Lawson Comic strip head with eyebrows and the dynamite fuse mustache.
Now for the hands:
The usual hands, but left hands are modified for Pizzaface's missing pinky.
C-crips for his Apron knife
Wide c-grips for the leg attachment
Fists
Dramatic
Pizza flinging
(Right hand only) Italian gesture 🤌
Other accessories:
Apron knife
3× pizzas
Now, this will not appease Kyle, but it should calm Playmates down. Gimme Pizzaface!!
For the most likely to become a barren Christmas, due to toy shortages
Microsoft is now adding Videogames to the Tariffs price increase club. First party games will be $80. The Xbox series x will get bumped up an additional hundo. That's one more Benjamin. The series s will get a price increase of $80...
Consoles may be having scarcity issues, not just in the US but worldwide. Once again, Thanks, Trump... I have a feeling that SONY may follow the trend and then gaming will be screwed and then
We'll see an increase of Johnny Depps, Keira Knightleys, Orlando Blooms, and Geoffrey Rushes...
Die dumme Orange who shall not be named, has struck Super7. I just received an email explaining that Super7 will have to pass unto us an 8% Tariff charge, starting today, April 24th.
It's far less than expected... this has been applied to all in-stock items.
As you can see on John Cena Sheila, I crappily highlighted the teeny tiny 8% tariff warning.
Jesse, Let's do some Math!
Yeah, Mister White!
I said Math, not Meth!
Bummer!
Now that My lame reference has been done, let's talk Mathematics!
How much is 8% of $55?
$4.40 that means that Sheila would be $59.40 plus shipping, handling, and other taxes.
Safari Joe on the other hand, his $65 becomes $70.20 with the 8% tariffs.
Wingnut and Screwloose's $75 tag turns into $81, which luckily isn't THAT much, but it might be pushing it for some folks... I don't think a Maraj, or a Footcruiser as prudent preorders right now.
Since I already paid for a Shredder and a Foot Soldier, will S7 bill me with $8.80 from Tariffs? Or will they absorb the cost as the already paid for preorders were made pre-tariffs?
Remember the Biblical Adventures Kickstarter? The one where I ordered the Divine Mercy Jesus and the Disney adaptation Jesus. So, maybe they'll be part of this year's Advent Calendar... Bonus item since it's his birthday.
I will try to get the Crucified Jesus and have a Jesus Trinity. If not, I'll have Diff'rent Strokes of Jesus. Yeah... reviewing this figure will be weird.
My sense of humor will be considered highly blasphemous because of Jesus. I can hear certain groups complaining about me buying two or maybe three Jesuses or is it Jesui?
This, like a Super7 preorder you just pay for it and forget it. Now I have two Jesuses coming my way. Now I'm wracking my head on how to review them... Sadly, I was unable to get a black Santa, so the Tag Team Match of Jesus vs Santa is now reserved for the white people.
Shit, they never made Lucifer Action figures... based on the TV show, not other Lucifers...
This is both a blessing and a curse. Mainly due to the arrifstays from Rumptay. Good because this gives Mattel time to move their factories from Chynuh. Bad because it means less product out there and not every other company will put enough care on the product.
I'd be up for Super7 Ultimates Barbie and friends... Especially if they're the Life in the Dreamhouse versions. Raquelle better come with a He-Man figure.
But back on topic: While we could end up with a team up like Mondo and MOTU, we could also end up with a Playmates and Power Rangers styled team up...
But the move is to be a multimedia company after Barbie's success. But it's obvious that Mattel is forgetting a huge market that they need to take a place in:
I'm talking about video games. For ages, Mattel has been allowing publishers to Make shovelware games out of their properties.
I'm so sorry, but Sora, you dun goofed! I just found out he was arrested earlier this month for public intoxication, cocaine possession. This is bad. Anti Semitic slurs don't help your case, Sora.
But it's current year, so Israel bad, you may get away with it... but it's the whole drunk and cocaine possession...
Yes, Sora... your stupid ass antics are going to get Haley Joel Osment canceled... wait, got it backwards: Stupid Haley Joel! Your antics are going to cancel Sora and possibly delay Kingdom Hearts 4 or worse... Recasting Sora...
I may hate your Necrosight, but I've no beef with you.
Me neither. In fact I want you to sign my keyblade!
Cade! Get out! He saw our moms!
Should I gouge his eyes out!?
What the fuck, Cade! I jist wanted to make.a Cocaine Sora joke out of this whole situation and you want to go Hammibal Lecter on him! Not cool, man!
Let me be serious for a moment here, Haley Joel, dude: To my understanding, you unfortunately, lost your home during the recent California fires. That royally sucks and I can't even fathom what you're going through. Spiraling out of control getting drugged and drunk, picking fights with the police, dude, you could end up blacklisted and doing dorect to streaming movies like товарищ Сигал. Do you want to end up like товарищ Сигал. You are halfway there. No, it's not a fat joke... I'm talking about the whole belligerent asshole that throws bigoted insults. That puts you in the "difficult to work with" box. I don't want you to end like товарищ Сигал!!
Now we have to go through the same process until we see white smoke again.
That means my Auntie will see SEVEN POPES! WHY CAN'T WE GET LONG LASTING POPES. Pope Pius IX was the longest serving Pope with 32 years under his belt in the 1800s. Oh well.
I will be touching various subject on toys, but there isn't enough for multiple full-fledged rants, so will compile them unto one.
How come there are 1:12 scale (wooden) dollhouses and furniture but no dolls?
I mean aside some porcelain statues and some raggedy ass dolls. We RARELY get some
Almost acceptable dolls but these are rare, and hard to get. Somehow there is a secondary market for these. Seen scalpers trying to sell them for 90 bucks. These are supposed to be in the $35-40 range. Thing that got me chuckling was that the kids have names whole the parents are Mommy and Daddy. Also the pics showcase a mixed race family while the toys are whiter than milk.
Even Mattel is giving their dolls decent articulation! I'm not asking for Marvel Legends articulation here, just enough that Daddy can sit at the dinner table AND ACTUALLY EAT HIS MEAL! (By that I mean I can pose him like he's eating.) Dude can't sit on the couch to watch the PGA tour without looking like Frankenstein's monster going on a walk.
Give us some decent sculpts and articulation, please! That's why I got into the whole Civilians lines.
Playmates is doing Power Rangers Toys and they look like ass!
But Unfortunately, they're my only hope to get 1/12 scaled TEENAGERS WITH ATTITUDE!! I've seen the Stranger Things toys. Likenesses are hit or Miss, but it might also be the only way I can get some civilians. Would be cool if we could get:
Jason, Zack, Trini, Rocky, Adam, Aisha, Kimberly, Green Tommy, White Tommy, Bulk and Skull (different outfits than S7) Heck, even a Youth Center Playset with Ernie would be interesting IF DONE 1/12 scale.
Seriously, Hasbro, you gave up Lightning collection for THIS!?
Mattel is confusing me with MOTU PRODUCT.
Toy based Origins is now Mattel website only. Filmation based Origins is a retail product. Then there's the Concept figures and the Crossovers which are spread throughout stores.
Masterverse is both retail and website but I haven't seen retail figures since Nickelback Battle Armor He-Man. No, sorry. Sun Man was the latest Masterverse I saw on retail.
I think Skelegod and Battle Cat were the only brick and Mortar Masterverse figures that I got (as presents or bought) Everyone else has been bought online.. keeping track of product has been a bitch. Distribution issues has been the main factor in why I haven't been too into Masterverse. New Eternia, Retro figures, Netflix versions, pseudo filmation, now New Etheria, Gunman, 87 movie, soon 2026 movie... it's hard to keep track of what's retailer ex lusove, Mattel exclusive, available everywhere, and available nowhere.
Super7 radio silence on tariffs and preorders bugs me.
I don't want to keep bringing up Tariffs, but since they're killing the toy Industry and I have a few Super7 Preorders that were made BEFORE the Tariffs I'm worried. Especially for the 2k3 TMNT Wave 2 figures I got from Super7... That I already paid for. Because at least bigbadtoystore will let me cancel the preorders if the tariffs are too high...Meanwhile B-Flynn is silent while the S7 Facebook page is teasing preorders.
I don't want to be hit in January 2026 with Super7 trying to charge me $50 more for my Shredder and Foot Ninja. That's assuming the 145% rate reaches that date. It could either go down, or up. Please go down. WAAY Down.
Also let me take a chance and remind y'all to gimme:
Ultimates Shipwreck!
Ultimates Melodia!!
Ultimates Pizzaface!!!
Todd, since you're doing Turtles now, what scale are they?
I know the page punchers are about 5 inches, but will humans be 5 inches or will they be 7 inches? Inquiring minds want to know. I don't want to invest on the Turtles and then have April be shorter than them... Please be 7 inches and make Herman the Hermit Crab! Seriously. IDW Mutanimals for the win.
Honestly Todd Redesigning the Classics would be cool. Imagine a Todd Rat King, Tokka, Rahzar, Groundchuck, Dirtbag, Wyrm, Pizzaface...
Betting these will be a pain in the ass to get because Todd... but if a cheaper Turtle Van is made, good... unless we get fucked like the Batmobile.
Also, Todd, Gimme a Klassic Johnny Cage!
We live In a world where Skibidi Toilet toys exist...
I want an AVGN action figure... or Nostalgia Critic... thanks to Mattel we can have Logan Paul... but I want Uncle Roger, Crazy Russian Hacker and his huskies. Hell, I'll take the two sword guys who shit on Reverse grip on YT Shorts, especially if they have a ton of swords. I've been doomscrolling for the past 30 minutes and I can't find their shorts to get their channel... *update* SellswordArts is the channel.
Hell, I got a Shoe0nhead short and I haven't seen her in years. Got a ton of Steve Harvey Family Feud shorts though. He'll, although I haven't seen her in a while, the ca ca nah meeeelk! Koufee! Perfect! Lady and Johnny the Hawaiian dude who makes parody reactions would be a nice two pack.
Has Super Action Stuff made new stuff after the light up arcade cabinet?
I want to get some stuff, but right now I need to hunt for the Casket. And other stuff. Tempted to get some stuff straight from them...
No! I just stated a few professions. Anyways, I ended the rant with a joke about adding a strip club playset...
It wasn't a joke.
It wasn't. I want Strippers, I want prostitutes... both with castoffable clothes. I will not mention the pieces for Harambe. And like Michael Jackson
Or pieces that reference a Michael Bay Music video. But those would be included. Also hands for powdering noses. Alternate powdered heads would be a thing. Again, I'm going for the seedy underbelly.
Strippers would have various soft goods outfits on close to anatomically accurate bodies.
Some props for dancing.
Like snakes and shit?
Those and breakaway velcro profession clothes:
School teacher, paramedic, police officer, nurse, etc.
Prostitutes would have castoffable clothing. Some models would have non removable stocking and open crotch underwear. The unmentiomanle accessories for the Johns and Janes. They would also have a purse with a self defense device. Their unmetionable for Harambe will be wearing protection...
Self defence device, he means guns, knives, Tasers, etc.
No Mind Reading Ms. Ruiz-Reid!
None needed. It's obvious.
Pimps:
Yes, full on stereotypical pimp Regalia, cane and everything. Also a gun and a protected Harambe. I mustn't forget the slapping hand with slap effects. A golden gun and knife.
Are pimps going to be of all races or just black?
What the fuck, Cade? Are you trying to get me canceled? Equal opportunity pimping.
Gigolo:
I mustn't forget the man ho's.
Using toned male bodies with Harambe plug-in pieces. (Dead, strong, strong with protection) and castoffable clothing. It would be cool if we could get a Rob Schneider figure as Deuce Bigalow.
Male Strippers have breakaway velcro shirts and pants and a castoffable Speedo. The male unmentionables apply here.
What no commentary?
Male Strippers. No one cares about those. I know "but muh realism."
It's not so much about realism. It's about equal opportunity..
College Flashers and streakers:
Essentially figures of young adults who have castoffable clothes. Like say college girls (wearing their alma mater sweaters) flashing their sweater puppies out of a car's sunroof...
Puppies JR! Puppies!!
I'm surprised you know that reference.
Mom played Smackdown games for the CAWs.
Oh.
Male athletes flashing their junk out of their sweatpants.
Here I must put a warning that these aren't real people, just theoretical action figures to have in crass displays that display a somewhat realistic caricature of the world's perversions. The flashers aren't flashing real people. And lastly the Trenchcoat flashers... both male and female.
Don't think I've seen it happen in real life.
You will now.
Johns:
Prostitutes need their clients. While I proposed some Harambes that can be stuck with mounting putty. These guys would have sculpted clothing, but swappable crotch pieces.
Normal version, fly open Harambe Tribute.
All colors and body types.
Are you trying to make Liberty City a thing?
No! But I do have a GTA Reference for later.
Janes:
Same thing like the Johns, but these ladies get castoffable soft goods clothes. One or two of the models should sport the Karen hairdo.
All body types?
All body types. Equality.
Fun Vehicles:
Now these would be a bit more expensive, because they're for adult collectors.
Johnmobile:
A car similar to a 1982 Dodge Aries. The front seat is one long seat, which makes it easy for hanky panky. Preferably should be a 2 door version. But the special thing is that the car can rock up and down or side to side. Like in GTA. Bonus if the sound can be replicated.
That's a Manana...
Yes. Yes it is. Told you GTA Reference incoming.
Janemobile:
Based on an early 80s Volvo 240 station wagon... because there isn't a huge gap between driver and passenger seats. Like the Johnmobile, it should rock up and down. Also, the trunk should come with bunch of random accessories which would be items a Mom would have like groceries, school bags, etc.
Not a direct version, but you were thinking of the Perennial from GTA.
Guilty.
Back to the people:
Drug dealers:
Here they have to fit various stereotypes like the campus dealers, the gangbangers, the high class designer... campus dealers would have grass, medicine, maybe some powdered sugar. Maybe a knife as a weapon.
The Gangbanger would have a gun. Grass, sugar, rock candy and maybe some science.
The high class designer would have some Science, medicine, especially woosah!
No, only the gangbangers were GTA References. The college one is inspired by real life.
Here the cars for the campus dealers and the gangbangers will be beat up old er vehicles.
Campus D:
A Ford Pinto looking car. Non working doors, but the windshields are always down and on the trunk, tons of illegal substances: sugar cubes, dehydrated herbs, lots of medicine bottles.
What the hell is a Pinto?
The car that explodes when rear ended... Dingus!
Hey!
GBMobile:
This one is more likely to have guns and weapons than say, stuff to make science, sugar blocks, or rock candy. It will have all, but it's like a few small bags of science, candy, and sugar, but more weapons than all 3 McF pack.
Punisher anyone?
More like Punisher victim.
High Rolla:
A Lexus or Mercedes. There would be a few fancy bags but not as crazy loaded like the college D.
Why not a Lambo?
Too flashy. Needs to be flashy but not too flashy to be noticeable.
Back to people again:
This one is more for Spawn, since it's homeless folks. There would be some variations. Like some with sculpted clothes, and others with castoffable clothing. While Hobo orgies are real, the reason the clothes are removable have nothing to do with those. Since I'm not adding the required stuff needed for them. Unfortunately, not all homeless people are fully there. Some have mental disabilities and they can run around naked. I knew of one homeless person who had issues and he often would throw away his clothes and break garbage bags looking for clothes to wear. Picking the same clothes he had just thrown away. Then he'd go to a culvert and strip to wash his clothes. Dude was 45 cards short of a full deck. In his insanity, he did things that I can't mention here.
You get the idea. Thanks Family Guy.
Point is if you need to have a display showcasing the flaws in the system and how it fails the needy, you can. Or if you want to display a Hobo orgy, you can too! Or even a crime scene display where other homeless tampered with the scene to get some clothes.
Again, this is not meant to be a mockery of the less unfortunate. It's just giving options to collectors. But most importantly to help Spawn displays and populate Rat City.
I don't think it's a good idea. Instead add various soft goods outfits and heads. For variation. Maybe let them have underwear.
Let's move on:
Pigs in a blanket: undercover cops:
You've seen the undercover cop meme. Well, I want to make figures of that. With various degrees of absurdity... I'm talking going from passable to blue dude wearing orange Skeletor Armor can pass off as He-Man. Yes, bothale and female would be in normal undercover (protestor, dealer, user)
This kind of obvious. And this is the part where I might get canceled again:
Undercover cops disguised as prostitutes.
There will be female cops and male cops dressed as prostitutes. The male cops is the cancelable piece. Because I'm playing with the absurdity of a male cop dressed as a female prostitute. It's not an attack on drag queens or transpeople, though I can see how it can be interpreted that way. I just imagined a mega macho cop dressed like a prostitute on a corner arresting Johns left and right, who tried soliciting, despite the officer not making any effort in acting like a prostitute.
That's a JoJo reference...
Also, the female cops dressed as prostitutes, would suffer from the UC Cop issues while wearing castoffable outfits, due to the profession. Sculpted clothes would be a too obvious giveaway. How deep undercover they are? I dunno, but someone might end up making NWA's dream about copulation with the constable a reality.
Mission accepted.
I was making a joke, not giving you a mission!
Party pooper Vehicles:
Of course the UCs will get their own vehicles.
Protestor:
An older cop car with the light bar removed and the decals that would make the car look like a cop car have been hastily removed and it has traces of them. But the inside is a "fully functional cop car".
So despite the massive incompetence, they get the job done. Detective O'Malley won't like this.
Dealer:
Let's give them a small car that's cheap and inconspicuous like a mildly dented Toyota Corolla. Looking pretty normal aside the separator between front and back, and the police radio.
Zzzzzzzz
But back to people again.
Modular Corpses:
Police need crime scenes some of them heinous... some of these are highly controversial, due to the graphic nature. Disembowelment, chopped off parts, etc. Young, old, we get the whole spectrum of corpses. Yes, that includes children and toddlers.
Dude you're so getting canceled.
I warned y'all that these would be controversial.
All corpses would be castoffables...
Canceled in 3... 2... 1...
As I was saying, they NEED to be castoffable, since a stab victim would require torn clothes versus a drowned victim whose clothes would be intact. A gunshot victim has different kind of damage than a strangulation victim. The kids would have sculpted panties/briefs. I'm not Jared Foggle. I'm a little fucked up on the head but not THAT fucked up.
But why would you want toy corpses, especially KID Corpses!?
Not Especially. They are a side effect of Equality and fairness.
See? Babs gets me, Buster! Heh, Buster, Babs... ah, these GenZ kids wouldn't understand the reference.
It was Todd McFarlane himself who gave me the idea with this Billy Kincaid statue. Also, watching Seven recently didn't help.
The serial killer packs would include bloody weapons, parts that would work with the corpses, and in some cases clear plastic coats.
Indeed Ashley, it's a nod to American Psycho.
Now, putting the creepy and uncomfortable stuff on pause. I've been racking my head how to do tasteful figures of other cultures/religions.
Thinking some traditionalist Hindu folks, Muslims, even Jehova's Witnesses with their carts.
You're trying to figure out ways to add a Caleb and Sofia reference? Aren't you?
You KNOW about Caleb and Sofia!?
I am one with the Internet. Of course I know about Caleb and Sofia. I also know about God's Gang, and the LDS copy of Caleb and Sofia, Miguel and Sophia.
Shit, I forgot the Mormon missionaries and their bikes! But yeah. Key here is make tasteful toys of them...
Not gonna lie I want nuns...
Castoffable nuns, please!
Cade, I know your nature, but yes, I want removable habits, but not for your reasons. Mainly because I want a uniform look with the nuns and I will most likely be selling Nun packs instead of actual Nuns. That way more nuns can be made.
Something similar would be made for the burqas. Again, going for tasteful representation... NO TEAM AMERICA CLIPS, ASHLEY!!
Hence the Todd TMNT based on IDW. So my last BST AXN TMNT will be:
Tokka and Rahzar and they will be Babies, as they won't be Oversized... and I Don't think I'll be able to buy Super7 versions due to Tariffs. Hell, I'm afraid of the 2k3 Shredder and Foot Soldier I got from them. At least BBTS will let me cancel Casey if the Tariffs make the figures Ridiculously expensive.
But I'm going to suggest something crazier: instead of Todd simply wasting time retreading what The Loyal Subjescts already did, why not let Todd make HIS OWN TAKE on Key TMNT Characters: Splinter, Turtles, April, Casey, Foot Soldier, Krang's Android body, Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop.
Seriously, Imagine an April with Big McFarlane 90s hair, or a Shredder with a shitton of spikes and an even Ridiculously long cape.
Or a figure of this Michelangelo...
You're supposed to make people excited for McFarlane Turtles not scare them away.
It exists, alright. Not to mention that Todd can have Mirage color versions, Toon versions, and even OTHER version repaints, like Mirage Black and White, Playmates colors, etc.
Also, I'd be buying the shit out of MCF TMNT Accessory packs.
Maybe Todd could get some oddities out like Pizzaface, Rat King, etc.
So now I am fucked. Shit out of luck! A target exclusive and I'll stop referencing Beelzeboss.
The Sewer Lair, I dunno. It's too small for Ultimates, but having reference materials to build one... depends on the price. I'm already cringing at the prospect of making an Ultimates Scale Technodrome. Acrylic hemispheres are expensive as hell. Guess that I'll have to make Arcade game Module tubes. The Drill it will be an itch-bay.
Superhero displays can be a bit weird when the only characters are the superpowered beings. Especially when the displays are dioramas. At best, you can get some old 1:12 dolls on ebay with ReAction level of articulation.
We need something better and taller.
I'm looking for something with similar levels of articulation to Billie Eilish or a little bit less. Something akin to the Diva Superstars by Mattel, but with ankle articulation and C-grip hands.
Why? Again, to enhance displays... without using wrestlers. What I'm suggesting is 1:11 scale since it kinda matches Wrestling figures and straddles the line of 1:12 compatible (Marvel Legends, Jada Street Fighter) and 1:10 scale (Super7 Ultimates, MOTU Masterverse). That also opens up the door for compatibility across multiple lines... cross-pollination.
The best part is that this can be either a Gender Neutral line with certain characters more appealing to girls and others more appealing to boys.
The best part is that this theoretical line can get almost as much reuse as say, Masters of the Universe, if whatever company makes them plays it smart.
For example:
Men:
Three body types:
Slim
Athletic
Curvy
Since most working men use a variation of Slacks, only three types of legs are needed. Feet are another story: formal shoes, casual shoes, boots, sneakers.
Torsos would require more variations, but sticking to a buck system with some overlays wonders can be done:
For example:
Button shirts could use an overlay on the neck for the collar.
Tie, no tie
An additional overlay would be a blazer, vest, or coat. It would depend on the type of profession.
Then we got the non buttoned shirts that can get either a Polo V-Neck collar or a Rpund T-shirt collar. Jacket, vest, coveralls, or coat can be used as an additional overlay.
For the arms you get some variations, short sleeves, no sleeves, long sleeves, rolled up sleeves, coat sleeves, jacket sleeves. Most of these variations would occur on the forearms. Half. So, again, mix and match.
Or some of these parts could be soft goods to save on tooling
(Trenchoats, blazers, coveralls)
Same thing would apply to the female figures.
Three body types, some shared parts.
Same thing would apply to the teens, the tweens, and the preschoolers. Babies get same body two heads. (Girl, boy). Making some new heads and doing repaints could expand the roster.
And like WWE TOYS we can have various tiers:
Basic: which would be a figure with no accessories and less detailed paintjobs. Plain colored shirt and pants. Let's use a Police officer as an example:
It's your standard cop with a non removable hat, and gun sculpted on its holster. Best used as a traffic cop or a desk cop.
Deluxe: would be a more expensive figure with one or two accessories and in some cases a soft goods clothing item (skirts, coats, things like that) Using the cop example: this cop has a nightstick and a removable hat. The gun would still be sculpted on its holster.
PLUS: This is the more Adult collector figure. More expensive than the Deluxe, but it has things like more detailed paintjob on the clothes, alternate heads, swappable hands, more accessories. Using the cop example:
Removable glasses, hat. Gun holster is functional with removable gun. Has a nightstick and a removable vest.
This would also translate into vehicles and playsets. But this time only two tiers: BASIC and PLUS.
For example, let's say a cop car.
The Basic Tier car would have no clear plastic windshield or functional doors.
The PLUS car would have functioning doors, trunk with some extra acceasories inside, BP vest, shotgun, megaphone, etc. You can also cuff criminals to the back of the car.
For the Playsets, the Basic version would have a front facade and the internal walls are flat with stickers. The paintjob on the front facade would be minimal
The PLUS version would have some 3D items ie lamps, door frames, etc. The paintjob on this would be a bit more detailed than the basic.
For example if you want to make a city street diorama, you can get two PLUS buildings and 3 BASIC buildings. Putting the PLUS buildings in the foreground with the BASICS in the background you can create the illusion of depth in your display.
These playsets, figures and vehicle displays can be spiced up with accessories, vehicles and figures from other lines. Using some of the buildings from this theoretical toyline, trash cans and other accessories from Figures Toy Company (not sponsored) and some Shady individuals and the Lucha Lowrider. You could create a drug deal for Punisher to bust.
