Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
MotU connoisseur, Jukka Issakainen, with whom I've had the pleasure to converse back when I was in the CotFO has brought to my attention this YouTube video via Facebook.
The video is wrongly labeled as a stargate movie set. Here are a few Pic in case the video gets removed.
That's the Jawbridge...
Check the guy in the middle with the reddish shirt and dark blue pants... seem familiar?
The little we're seeing of Castle Grayskull is looking very Castle Grayskull like. I'm not gonna lie. I am very wary about the movie. But these small visuals gave me hope that it won't be a total shit fest. It's the Earth crap that worries me... and some cast choices.
I'm in a mixed bag here. I don't love it, but I don't hate it. The director is the guy from Chip 'n Dale movie... and various specials for SNL. The other two writers were the writers for CnD and Doolitle... that last part is scary.
Also Seth McFarlane is producing. So that might explain why it's Neeson season.
Also, it's a sequel, as you can see in the trailer
I'm a bit wary be cause it's current year and current year tends to dislike non-squeaky clean comedy.
Disgruntled Mattel employees might be mad, because Mattel didn't lose the rights to MOTU in 2023. Not saying any names but I'm talking about Scott Neitlich. Faithful reader, who doesn't get the favor returned... mainly because I'm an asshole and he's no longer relevant. I have a contractual obligation where I have to mention him at least once a year. Apparently they are faithful to the toys and world... but the whole Earth thing makes me doubtful...
We'll just have to wait for a trailer to drop, but we're 2 years away from the release date. But at least it doesn't sound like a full trainwreck like Max Steel.
We have Genghis Frog in Ultimates. We're missing Napoleon to complete the Playmates two as We're missing the other two to complete the quartet. The problem is that we don't know where Classic line stands as it is with Playmates being a bunch of whiny bitches with the Master License.
I hope we can at least get Napoleon, because that way we can get a second body for the other two frogs. Otherwise, Rasputin, Napoleon, and Atilla will be Genghis repaints with new heads and weapons. With Napoleon around we can circumvent the whole Every frog is Genghis.
Napoleon, can be reused with Attila the frog. Let's talk Napoleon first:
Sculpt would be similar to Playmates, but having the back accents painted. The fly patterns on the shirt would be painted and not sculpted. The necklace would be removable, just like Genghis.
Two heads (vintage based and a new open mouth head)
The usual suspects for hands are a given.
Now Accessories:
-Peace Medallion. This one is in order to have a different Necklace for Attila.
-2× Snake whips: one coiled like the vintage toy and another in an action pose.
-New sewer Gas sign shield. The changes in design and colors are to appease Playmates.
-The Fly Swatter would be changed from traditional square swatter to the tennis racket shaped swatter.
-The Fly Boy buddy might be sacrificed to appease Playmates.
That more or less is what would take for a basic Ultimates Napoleon. Now let's begin on an Attila.
We start with a more grayish tones for Attila based on some horny toads. For heads we start using the alternate Open mouth head from Napoleon and a new second head with his tongue trying to lick his right eye.
His shirt will be Neon Pink with bright Yellow Orange, green, and blue parrot and palm tree leave designs. Think Magnum PI's red shirt.
The pants would be teal and purple. The flip flops would be mismatched in teal and purple.
Hands would be the same as Napoleon now Accessories are the question:
- Round Medallion
-Fugu Mace inspired by Storage Shell Raph, but with real chain and it attaches to the fish by the mouth.
-Fish shank inspired by Storage Shell Don.
-Box of chocolate covered Grasshoppers.
-Yield sign Shield
-sunglasses
So now that we got an Attila, we need to work on a Rasputin while using the Genghis body
We need to start with heads:
Vanilla Genghis head with brown eyes, skin tone closer to Leonardo. His shirt should be Cheez whiz orange with purple designs for the Hawaiian shirt. His pants would have a Red Crotch and Orange legs (like a reverse Genghis).
His second head is a squinting head for arrow flinging. Third head is a crazy angry head.
For hands we need New Archery hands in addition to the usual.
Accessories:
- New Necklaces inspired BY Mr. T's.
-Bow and arrows. If possible reuse Splinter's
-New belt with hip quiver and a loop for a club.
- Swamp club
- GF Battle Axe. A Battle Axe intended for Genghis so he can have his Toon inspired Weapon.
Here's the crazy thing: Super7 could also release Deluxe "Reversed Punk Frogs"
With alternate Unique weapons in some cases: Hear me out...
Horny toad versions of Genghis and Rasputin. They could call these supermutated frogs:
A Genghis colors Napoleon repaint with a Sharpened Stop Sign.
A Rasputin colors Attila repaint with a crossbow.
Normal frog versions of Napoleon and Attila as depowered versions:
Genghis repaint in Napoleon colors with the snake whip (action pose) and shield
Rasputin repaint in Attila colors with the Fugu Mace and Fish shank
This allows you to have combined versions of the Frogs however you like them.
It's a Spider-Man 3 Black Suit Spider-Man with a Bully Maguire head.
$30 at Hasbro Pulse. Ouch! I mean it's not really a Bully Maguire figure. But
Suit body with the Peter Parker tieless torso in black and this head and boom! Hasbro could even throw a diorama of the storefront and make it a "Maximum series" Bully Maguire.
This list is 100% Vanilla Ice free... aside this reference.
I know that last week I made a random list that included some music people. It was THAT rant that made me make this one. But it's 10 Musical acts that aren't Vanilla Ice. I will also NOT include Weird Al, Fresh Cuck, Steven Seagal, or Jackie Chan.
See? Seagal is a Musical act.
And Jackie Chan will make a Cantonese Man out of me.
10: Eminem: My Name Is/ The Real Slim Shady
My Name is: The song that started it all. There are various outfits to choose from. Naked Slim Shady with flasher coat is unlikely. That leaves the TV shades, which I honestly don't care about. So we have Jumpsuit Shady, Straight jacket Shady, or bench Shady. Personally, I would go for the straight jacket version.
The Real Slim Shady, the sequel no one expected, but it exists. It also has Eminem in various outfits.
Hospital gown Shady, Tom Green Parody Shady, or T-shirt and Jeans Shady.
Most folks would want the Most Vanilla Eminem. But I'd go for the Straight Jacket from My Name is, Tom Green Shady, and Vanilla Eminem from The Real Slim Shady. Though the third one I'd just get the Deluxe figure.
9: Snoop Dogg:
Any Snoop Dogg figure will do. But he needs Weed Paraphernalia, because Snoop Dogg.
One of these is a convicted criminal. The other is Snoop Dogg. Not gonna Lie, I would like a Martha Stewart Ultimates to pair off with Snoop Dogg! Fo' shizzle!
8: Sir Mix-a-Lot:
I don't even need to say the song. You know what song I'm talking about. Random fruit shown on the video would be his accessories.
Heads would be: with hat, without hats, removable glasses.
7: MC Hammer: U can't Touch this
While one could argue that he's a TMNT reference. But
Pants wouldnhave to be Soft goods to preserve articulation, because plastic pants would make a "statue" from the waist down.
6: Insane Clown Posse: Miracles
Actually, these don't need to be Ultimates.These could easily work as Deluxe releases. Also, I'm not saying it, so I can't get another Violent J and repaint it as Guy Fieri... or the guy from Smashmouth.
Now that I finished the Rappers, we're entering Nefty's wants and it's gonna get a little weird, it's gonna get a little wild... Star vs the forces of evil reference not intended.
5: Dolly Parton:
I just want a Dolly Parton Figure because Dolly Parton.
While I could go for classic Dolly, I want this Dolly... and that Miley as well. But my display requires a Modern Dolly and Miley. Soft good outfit for articulation reasons.
4: Miley Cyrus:
Dolly got the cat out of the bag. So might as well mention her now. But this is better than asking for a Hannah Era Miley, or the Out of Control era Miley. So 30 year old Miley it is. Like with Dolly, soft goods outfit for articulation reasons.
3: Billy Ray Cyrus:
Remember the Billy Ray dressed up like an Extra for Red Dead Redemption? Or the pink clad Cowboy from Old Town Road with Lil' Nas X. Yes, I wasn't bending to give Mr.Cyrus a revolver and make Ocelot references.
All jokes aside. I'm a bit worried about his health, both physical and mental.
His performance at Trump's iinaugurationwas awful as he sounded sick and didn't look well on stage.
2: Britney Spears:
My loneliness is killing me and I must confess. I still believe still believe! When I'm not with you. I lose my mind, give me a sign. Yes, I'm singing Baby one more time.
I wanted to go with It's Britney, bitch! Buuuuut! Part of me also wanted Umbrella wielding Bald Britney in a Street Fighter Bonus stage. But if Teen Britney makes people uncomfortable, we could always go Toxic.
Everyone will say Flight Attendant Britney, Redheaded Black Widow Britney, or the Black haired Mutant Britney
Me? The "Gozer-esque" outfit Britney. No, Cade, not because she's wearing the least amount of clothing, but it's the closest to Vanilla looking Britney. Also, Flight Attendant Brotney makes me too uncomfortable.
1: Jennifer Love Hewitt:
What? SHE HAD A MUSIC VIDEO and her song was part of the I Still Know What You Did Last Summer soundtrack.
Honorable Mentions:
Lance Bass of N*Sync;
I won't add the entire group, so I chose my favorite member. Why Not Justin?
Justin isn't Sephiroth... Lance Bass is.
Tom Green:
The infamous Bum Bum song that even Eminem mocked. It was.
Either the bum bum song or feel your balls so you don't get cancer...
Christina Aguilera:
Yes, Genie in a Bottle was the song I thought of. Hell I think that's the only Christina Aguilera song I know.
Zac Efron:
HSM2 is the reason why he's here.
I was tempted to pick Ashley Tisdale with Fabulous.
Aubrey Peeples: The Way I Was:
I hated the Jem movie, BUT this song was the closest thing to a Jem "video".
Sisqo:
I needs a plastic thong thong thong thong thong! And having Sisqo cartwheeling for it seems fun.
Dee Snider:
Take the ReAction, make it an Ultimates!
That's how we're gonna take it. Yes, we're gonna take it!
Danzig:
Super7 made a pseudo MOTU Glenn Danzig... Make an Ultimates!
No, this has nothing to do with Deadpool and Wolverine
It's the fucking Black Jesus and Stigmata, right?
Pretty much. Don't forget the burning crosses.
The clan hates people like you... Hispanic and Catholic.
I'm pointing out the controversial parts of the video. I do not associate with Klansmen for the reasons you stated and let's lea e it at that otherwise I'll ramble about genes and how I refuse to pass mine on. Wait, NOW you show up, Cade? I thought you'd show up by Miley or almost naked Britney.
I mean, do they have Merchandise plans for when the movie comes out? I'm talking Toys and videogames. We know that AAA Games take a ridiculous amount of time. Also, I'm not looking at Mobile games, as those rarely qualify as real games. Not saying any names but Tappers of Grayskull I'm looking at you.
On the toy front, I know what to expect: Masterverse styled figures with beer goggles passing likeness to the actors. Maybe some Origons figures with even worse likenesses.
But it's current year and everyone knows that toys are mostly bought by old heads... fortysomethings who are desperately clinging to their childhoods as they are closely getting to the Senior Citizen age. Kids this day prefer video games over toys... sadly even at gaming kids these days suck since they prefer Roblox, Fortnite, or Minecraft.
A Videogame, more specifically a AA Game might be beneficial for MOTU, IF DONE Properly. A 2D Platformer would be an interesting choice. A cross between Mega Man and Classic Castlevania games could work. 2D sprites or 3D graphisx with the game being 2D could work.
A Beat-em up like Shredder's Revenge or Rita's Rewind could also work with MOTU. Theoretically speaking it's an "easy to make" genre.
Obviously a Fighting game is a AA level game. The roster can be expanded with DLC and skins can be added.
But there is one genre that would be completely INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE. Stylized Kart Racing Game.
Think Chocobo Racing but with MOTU Characters:
He-Man riding Battle Cat, Faker riding Duplicat, Evil Lyn riding Screeech, Duncan riding the Battle Ram, Fisto Riding Stridor, Tri-Klops riding Roton, Trap Jaw riding the Land Shark, etc.
Of course the game would have unlockables/DLC like Zodac riding his chair, Marlena riding the Rainbow Warrior, Stratos and Buzz-Off needing no Ride. The Mighty Sphincter riding a spade hoverboard. Oh no, I've been giving far too much thought to this kart Racing game.
In any case a game where you get to roam across Eternia is highly unlikely until PS7 if Mattel starts working on it now.
It wasn't BAAAAD, but it wasn't good. I'm going to go on a small rant here. The plot is OK, but what made it hard to watch the movie was the "realistic CGI" it made the movie feel soulless from a visual point of view. It would've been better if this movie had been made in traditional animation.
If you want to have dumbass soccer player, have him as a guest character. My guess is that some rich idiot bought SNK and is imposing things he likes on SNK product.
Mohammed bin Salman is that idiot. He also owns the soccer guy and is in a "partnership" to own the Valencia team. So basically, a rich idiot, bought his way into SNK and is forcing his wants and bribing his buddies and ruining the games. Fuck Mohammed bin Salman, Fuck Cristiano Ronaldo, and Fuck this bullshit. This will not attract new players. FIFA People will buy the game for the novelty factor and might not even play it.
Once the Ronaldinho bullshit wears out Fatal Fury will fade into obscurity once more.
Next KoF might end up getting a team of whatever celebs the Saudi Prince wants to kiss up to.
NECA Made M3gan... we need VICI for obvious reasons. Speaking of...
A part of me wants a NECA Bill Cosby. Yes, for all the jokes about Rapey Cosby... especially if it's Devil Cosby from The Devil and Max Devlin.
NECA has the rights to Elvis and Elton John... but statues. For Elvis and MEGO styled Elton John... I want 1:10 scaled versions of them.
Ooh! Gary Coleman... NECA should do Different Strokes Coleman and Super7 the cartoon Coleman that's an angel.
OK I want a Gary Coleman so he can referee the VICI and M3gan fight. Oh crap, I think I may be drunk... but Tomorrow's my day off, so screw it. I'll just stay inside and pretend I have a life!
The console itself isn't bad but the price points are awful. Thanks, Trump!
I just don't see parents throwing Playstation 5 Xbox Series X styled money on multiple portable consoles for their kids. Self-reliant kids who used to Mow lawns for games, will now have to sell drugs because the games are $90 + taxes. Digital are $80 + taxes though. Not just Triple A games, shovelware games will be at that price too.
Better hope your dock has no issues...
Otherwise you'll lose $110+ Taxes. Thanks, Trump!
I REAALY HOPE the Joycons are using Hall effect sensors, because if not...
$70+ taxes, which is similar to the old controls, but again, hello! Joycon drift would make people get even madder at Nintendo, since they had time to fix it from the get go.
At least the AC adapter isn't that wallet rapey...
It's looking like maybe I'll get one in 2029, IF the next US president eliminates Trump's tariffs that are screwing us over. But for now Switch 2 is a Nintendon't for me.
Awful day to die, since no one takes it seriously.
But my condolences to friends and family.
I loved his work on Tombstone as Doc Holiday. Top Secret and Real Genius were some of Mom's favorite Kilmer movies and the Totally not gay movie, Top Gun. KISS KISS BAMG BAMG was actually the last Val Kilmer movie, I saw with Mom. Despite liking Val Kilmer's performance, Mom hated The Saint. Obviously I will have to mention Batman Forever... Mom didn't like this movie. She didn't see Kilmer as Batman/Bruce, but Aquaman. She did mention a few times that Batman Forever was taking Adam West's Batman and doing a bad attempt at Burtonizing.
I guess I'll need to sit down and watch Willow and Legend... I've never seen both movies to oblision in one sitting. I tend to confuse both movies. I need to remind myself. That legend is the one with the horny Tim Curry and the closeted scientologist. Willow Is the one with Batman Forever and the Ewok. My brain makes weird connections to remember things.
Super7 made various Andre the Giant figures. His biggest rival is... you know where this is going, brother. Super7 has made various Bruce Lee figures. It's slightly unrelated, but it will make sense when I finish, brother! Liquid Snake is also famous for saying brother! Completely unrelated, but it gave me an excuse to end a sentence with brother, brother! When streamer DumbDog is an impostor in Among us, his tell is using brother! The male version of sister is brother. Epsilonists from GYA tend to say brother brother...
Where was I, brother? Hulk Hogan Ultimates, brother! As you know, I recently watched all four 3 Ninjas movies and Hulk Hogan as Dave Dragon inspired this rant, which is why I mentioned Bruce Lee. Since he gets figures based on his movies, while Andre gets various versions of him as a Wrestler. For Hogan I want to combine both.
So, without further ado, brother, Hulk Hogan Ultimates! Wishlist, brother!
The Babysitter:
Hulk Hogan sporting a Pink leotard and Tutu a la Mr. Nanny with accessories from the movie.
Santa Claus, brother:
Santa with Muscles inspired Hogan with the huge candy came and other accessories from the movie.
Animated:
Based on Hulk Hogan's Rock n Wrestling.
Give him an extra realistic head and an animated head for Andre. This doubles as am 80s Hogan
Superhero:
The infamous Dave Dragon figure with alternate Bald head, Nunchucks, toupee.
Chef:
Basically a Pastamania ad Hogan with Chef hat, Spaghetti bowl.
SEAL:
A Thunder in Paradise based Hogan.
The only Non-Hogan figure on this line will be:
Mr. America:
Reusing various pieces from different Hogan bodies repainted in Mr. America colors with a Mr. America head and we can have a Non-Hogan Wrestler that can rival Hogan himself, brother!
It looks like the Maestro/80 Hulk body with new clapping hands and 3 piece clapping effect that can also be swinging punch effect. 2 missiles and 3 crappy heads.
This isn't maximum. This is slightly over bare minimum. Not even Reusing the old torn Banner coat or the bent pipe from grey Hulk. If people were questioning Maximum Spider-Man, this is an easy skip.
It's got a soft plastic torso... I made wrong this shit will degrade by 2027. Getting Mattel Swamp Thing flashbacks.
Thanks a lot ToyBiz Morbius... this will happen to the Hulk's moobs.
I swear 3 Ninjas Kick Back and 3 Nknjas Knuckle Up before hitting the bed. Then something hit me. What if we got a sequel to 3 Ninjas in the vein of Cobra Kai. Grandpa obviously died when the Ninjas were in their teens. Afterwards, their interest in Martial Arts began to wane as they began to move out for college. After a while, the three brothers have separated and only saw each other for holidays.
A past enemy, personally I'd say Snyder from the first movie wants revenge on the kids, so he has trained his own Ninja to assassinate the brothers. He also has tried to bring in the other enemies to "assist" him in his revenge. (More like being a cover.)
The brothers receive a letter from Miyo warning them about an assassin taking out people associated with them. The brothers have their own individual lives with Rocky being an accountant, Colt a PE teacher, and Tum Tum a chef. With these news from Miyo, the brothers return to Grandpa's house suit up one last time to protect their families.
Obviously there will have to be a ton of recast since most of the adults are far too old to be active OR they vanished like the guy who played Snyder. Also I don't know if any of the 3 Ninjas would like to return.
Don't mnd me too much since these are the mad ramblings of a sleep deprived depressed person.
But one thing is certain: 3 Ninjas Ultimates! when? Not an April Fools. I mean it for real.
