Dec 8, 2022

Advent Calendar 08: Todd's Pew! Pew! Pack.

 


Toy companies are doing a hollow and empty gesture by banning guns from toys. I understand that the various shootouts in the US are a scary thing. I disagree with removing guns from action figures that are Adult Collectibles, because it does NOTHING. This is something that Lawmakers and Politicians have to deal with. As I've said before, I believe EDUCATION on gun safety and responsible gun ownership are a first step. Revising the existing laws and close any potential loopholes that ease gun access to people who shouldn't have guns. (People not mentally, physically, and/or legally capable of porperly and responsibly handle a gun.) Let me return to the Adult Collectible loophole on toy guns. I half-jokingly made a rant on how Todd McFarlane could bypass the DC inposed ban, which Hasbro and Mattel could use as well by using Hasbro Pulse and Mattel Creations respectively. It seems that Todd McFarlane had a similar idea, since he made an accessory pack full of guns... now I've realized the unofficial theme of this Advent Calendar is Accessories. 

This is a pack of guns. There is not much I can say about them. Batman hates them, but others love them. They not only work as accessories, but they also work as props. They would work well with 1/10 and 1/12 lines and would be useful even in my theoretical Emergency Services line. But enough about that, let's start reviewing!

From the get go, I must point out that I'm not a gun aficionado. I kinda wish the set had a lost identifying the guns...

Joker: This is not a Shotgun.
This is an Organic Swiss Cheez-inator...
It makes things look like swiss cheese!!
We know the classic Shotgun. There are plenty of Shotgun makers, so I won't try to guess if it's a Smith and Wesson or a Remington. It looks like what the average person would expect in a Shotgun.

Joker: I feel like I want Wesker's fist up my...
Nefty (VO): That's not the line, Joker!!
Joker: What? Mine is better!!
Nefty (VO): Do you want me to pull out Morbius?
Joker: Animated or Leto?
Nefty (VO): is it Morbin' Time, Mr J?
Joker: Fine! Bring in Leto... Scarface references are too cliche..
We have a Tommy Gun... The old school Gangster Gun. There isn't much to say about it other than, we have a Thompson with a cylindrical drum... *Spanish intensifies*

Joker: This is my gun and this is my gun!
One is for crime and the other for fun!
Now YOU have to guess whoch one does what...

I have done this one already and it's probably for newer Joker figures that have been rendered gunless.

Joker: Word Life, Batsy!!
My time is now!!

An oversized Desert Eagle with a Silencer... Totally NOT for the Peacemaker figure. There's not much to say about it... now I'm regretting passong on the single Peacemaker I couldn't see in the wild. I know it's a modified Desert Eagle because I looked for what gun does Peacemaker use.

Batman: These are the weapons
of the enemy, the weapons of Cowards!
What the Hell are you doing with these, Jason?
RH(VO): They fire rubber bullets, old man...
Batman: I'd rather have you beat criminals to an inch of their life using a crowbar than firing rubber bullets at them... because guns are bad, mmmkay! If you do guns you're bad, mmmkay!

A pair of guns that are similar in size and shape to the Peacemaker's Desert Eagle, but since I'm not an aficionado, I can't tell if this is a different model or an entirely different gun.

Batman: I don't do Guns...
If I did, Gotham's streets would be red...
That's why I have my One Rule...

Pretty much the same as before but these might be m1911... possibly another option for Red Hood.
Slade: Can't I have some fun with Dick and his Teen Titan pals?
Nefty (VO): Messing with their heads and turn them against each other or Terra kind of fun?
Slade: Hmmmm! Both?
This looks like the good ol' Mattel 16... no, the M-16 was not made by Mattel, despite the urban legend, but it might as well have been due to the QC issues. HEY-OOOOO! It's a well known American Machinegun. By looking at it, you KNOW this is an American gun, unlike the more reliable Russian gun... who is coming up soon...

Slade: I like this one! A bit messy, but gets the job done!
I have no idea what I'm looking at, but it screams: "My dick is 3 inches long when erect!"
Slade: Boom! Mate!
It's a Grenade Launcher. There's not much I can say about it.

Slade: Portable, nice!
A Submachine gun... again, since I'm no aficionado, I can't go in depth. 

Slade: Ah, a Classic!
An Uzi, finally! A gun I actually know! From Pop Culture of course. Or is it a MAC-10? I confuse the two.
Slade: Mmm... with a few mods, this rifle would be PERFECT!!
Joker: Mods, schmods! All I need is to kill a few birds to make Batsy come!!
Slade: Come as in C-o-m-e or?
Joker: Why not both? I mean, Reverse Flash spent years making Normal Flash cum in front of girls with his superspeed... besides, Batsy REALLY NEEDS to get laid... Maybe even eat out Catwoman...
Catwoman (VO): Unfortunately, he doesn't do that!! Also, Nice AK, Joker! Are you liberating an African Country?
Joker: Whu-?
Slade: Mozambique has an AK on its flag...
Joker: Ha, Ha... very funny...

The Rifle, I don't know, but the AK, I do. I already referenced Mozambique,so let's go with the final weapon...
GA: Any hero thar uses guns has failed this city...
Diggle (VO): Oliver, I use guns...
GA: You're just a bodyguard who thinks he's a Vigilante. You don't even have a supersuit...

Yeah, there's no point in repeating myself. It's a gun. Killing others is its purpose... or deterring others from doing something stupid because you have the capability to kill them...

Final thoughts
They are great for what they are, but I just wish they had a bit more color... contrast. They are for the most part very monochromatic and I kinda wish there was some more variation... like a more marked difference between matte and gunmetal parts. I had to increase the brightness in order to make the colors more visible. I'd repaint them, but that would require me to do research and since I don't know the guns by name I can't Google them.

Joker: HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME, NEFTY!!
FIRST BATSY, NOW YOU!?
Nefty (VO): I'm going to morb your orbs...


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