Reasons why a Captain Planet movie would suck!

Captain Planet, He's A Hero... something something a big fat zero...

This is what I'm talking about... Part of me WANTS a movie made out of this. The other part, well it knows that it would SUCK SO HARD that even Ted Turner would be ashamed of Captain Planet...
Let's start with the premise:
5 teens from around the world try to promote eco-awareness while fighting "eco-villains" with their magic rings. When said teens combine their powers they summon a "superhero" to help them in their crusade.

1. Basically the heroes are Terrorists. Sure they're the good guys and are fighting to protect the environment, but even in the intro you can see the acts of terror from these kids.
   
   
2. The villains themselves are 1-dimensional. They pollute for the sake of polluting. Heck even their real names are awful puns on "Eco-evils" Looten Plunder, Dr. Blight, Sly Sludge? How people do business with people whose last names are Sludge, Blight and Plunder!? Not counting the fact that these guys do most of the stuff to piss off the Planeteers.
   
   
3. Another point regarding the villains: They all seem to be White Americans, while the heroes are international... Capitalism bad?
   
   
4. The Planeteers are a bunch of teens living in a commune without any adults. They also fly around the world on the only Solar powered air-ship... If their Solar powered airship is so amazing, why don't they patent the thing and help solve the fuel crisis?
   
   
5. Ma-Ti's Power... Remember as kids when playing Captain Planet? Everyone wanted to be either Wheeler or Kwame... NO ONE wanted to be Ma-Ti... Why? Heart sucks! It's the same reason why no one wanted to be Aquaman when playing Superfriends, or Lifeline when playing G.I. Joe! No one wants to be the mega-hippie!
   
   
6. Captain Planet himself. Picture Superman add Spidey's one-liners, and that his enemies are made of Kryptonite... That's Captain Planet in a nutshell... He's gets weak by the very same thing he's trying to stop!
   
   

As it is, the adaptation into a Live Action Movie would SUCK Big time...

We all know what terrors Hollywood execs could do to beloved children's cartoons... in the name of Adaptation!

Now here's a list of things that I'd fear about Hollywood making a Captain Planet Live Action movie:

1. Changing way too much the source material, that it becomes Captain Planet in name only: See, Godzilla, Dragon Ball: Evolution, SF: the Legend of Chun Li, etc. as references of Adaptations gone wrong.
   
   
2. Abuse of low brow humor... A lot of the "Eco Villains" are dirty folk. I expect some lame jokes about farts, poop, etc. Wouldn't be surprised if Suchi pees on one of the "Eco Villains".
   
   
3. Weird Cast choices: A White Kwame, Ma-Ti, and Gi are part of my worst fears... Or a thin Hoggish Greedly...
   
   
4. Michael Bay: Baysplosions anyone? He should direct a porn movie...
   
   
5. The premise of the source Material is kinda preachy... I fear that Hollywood would amp up the Preachy elements for the movie.
   
   Yes, the Show went there...
   
   
6. Trying to make this too "realistic"! You've got 5 magic rings, Gaia, Captain Planet himself, Duke Nukem, and Jeff Goldblum I mean Verminous Skumm (The rat dude... He was played by Jeff Goldblum)

There could be a miracle and something awesome would come out of this, but I'm expecting a steaming pile of turd...

Luckily the Captain Planet movie is in Development Hell... Probably hanging out with the MotU movie...