Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
You had one job Super7... And the you have failed this Toyline!! Screwing up Tri-Klops hurts a bit, but this Teela makes Point Dreadful Teela look good...
She's a bit of a bunch of blunders put together... Engineering troubles, bad Sculpt translation, bad paint apps. You name it.
Articulation:
I'm afraid to move her head... Feels too tight and I don't want anything to snap... (Seeing that I got one with "decent legs", I don't want to risk it and get a TMNT HIPS TEELA)
Other than her head, she has a decent range of Articulation. 4.5
Pose is a tribute to a better looking Teela.
Paint and Sculpt:
What the Hell happened to her!? Engineering failed her. The chemical combinations for the plastics failed her. Translating the Sculpt of the prototype to actual figure failed her... Then painting the figure failed.
Putting the accessories on her is another failure, because the shield leaves paint marks on her bracers and the handle on her sword is too thick for her...
This figure is Murphy's Law personified.
But in the name of fairness, she kinda does a few things not awful... 2.5 Accessories:
Sword and Shield. I mentioned their flaws on the Paint and Sculpt part. So 2.0 Overall:
Teela gets a 3.0 as her final score... Her decent range of Articulation kinda saved her here.
The engineering of her crotch NEEDS to be fixed for future figures... (Ie, Granita or Sorceress) The formula for the plastics needs to be fixed due to breakage issues on her neck peg that have been floating around online. Her head needs to be redone... Maybe Teela 3.0, or 4.0? I keep forgetting how many attempts to "fix Teela" have been made.
I 'm taking a break from Classics and giving some opportunity to Club Grayskull... First I shall tackle Duncan... The Teela... But let's just do Duncan first.
So, Man-at-arms... "Only three others share this secret" He is one of them. Sorceress comes in wave two and I'm guessing Orko might show up in wave three... If Super7 plays it smart.
Articulation:
He has the normal Super7 Club Grayskull articulation. Luckily, mine had no issues here. He can do this:
And it's GLORIOUS!! I have no idea where are my Sky Sleds and I won't turn my house upside down to look for them... Curse my lack of free time to finish the shelving for the toys... Back to Duncan. The way his armor is designed it keeps the articulation intact. 4.5 Paint and Sculpt:
Duncan looks amazing... As in if somehow a third party cast that head, I would be interested, but I would have to modify it to fit the normal MOTUC bodies. (While not as detailed as a MOTUC head, it can pass as one.)
Curse the glued on armors!!! Cause That Armor would've been nice for Fuerza T Titano... Oh well... The paintwork is decent. I have no complaints here. 5.0
Accessories:
He has a less detailed version of his mace (that could have been repainted in red or silver for Spikor)
He has the blast effect
He has a Blaster that for the life of me can't remember what it did... I think it was like a teleport beam or something. (If you know what it was, do tell so I can update and credit you for the help.) 4.0 Overall:
Man-at-arms gets a 4.5 as his final score... I feel pretty satisfied with him...
Unlike a certain young lady...
I am royally pissed off. $50 + S&H ($18.50) for this:
Montork and Dree-Elle...who should have been MOTUC from the start... Now I know someone will try to say that these look "Filmation" due to being a pair of floating shirts, but that's not how this works.
Classics: all eras under one cohesive style.
Club Grayskull: Classics characChar that appeared on the Filmation cartoon redone in that style.
This move towards Club Grayskull is bullshit!! If it was B-FLYNN's idea
New characters go in Collector's Choice. Redos in Filmation style go in Club Grayskull... Got it Memorized?
Sure I'll toss the package in The Kirito after opening them, but this is a huge screw you to MOC Collectors. One good thing is that these won't clog the main "subs", since there IS a moderate segment of the fanbase that HATES Trollans.
Also, it's a big Screw you at CG fans since they're giving them Montork and Dree-Elle with no "Filmation Orko"
Hawke and Delora are a two for one deal.
One is the sister of Stratos and the other is his wife. (Ginger sister, Blonde Wife)
I bought two... Kinda regret it now.
She is BAD... And she's just as bad in person as online.
I got a "decent one" and a bad one.
Let's work on the review itself... Articulation:
Theoretically speaking, both Hawkes have decent Articulation. In practice, it's hit or miss... The Thumbs up Hawke in the pic above has no locked joints. Though her ankles are a teensy weensy loose. The Thumbs down Hawke has her left Leg locked in place. She's unable to sit down lest I break her leg. She can do the Johnny Cage splits, but she ain't riding no wind raider...
She has Club Filmation wrist hinges... I welcome this new POA... Should've been there since the beginning. The underboob Articulation is similar to Fembuck 1.0 which is a good thing. 4.5 for the Good Hawke and 3.0 for bad Hawke.
Paint and Sculpt:
The paint is decent, but translating the prototype into a figure, the ball was dropped big time. She ended up shorter, with a wider jawline that makes them look mannish. Those Long peg errors give them wide birthing hips like the egg TMNT from 96... The choice to go Full Filmation... You never go Full Filmation. But here we are... Now due to the materials chosen to make this figure, I have to try to figure out a way to customize one of them to make 'em pop!
Being fair, both get a 3.0
Accessories:
A sword with a male grip near the hand guard, which makes it useless for a female hand. The thinner grip near the pommel is ridiculous and impractical to use in combat... Looks like Palace Guard Nefty-kun is getting a new pair of swords!
The gun, oh goodness, the gun... She cannot hold it in any proper way to use. That awkward pose was the only way she could hold it. I'm a bit worried about the suede strap. So basically, Hawke and Delora are weaponless... Here's praying that the Heroic Shapeways Masters can save us! 3.0 Overall:
So, Good Hawke gets a 3.5 and bad Hawke gets a 3.0 as their final score. This figure is problematic as heck, due to all the factory blunders. I'm going to put on a green hoodie and pretend I'm Batman with a Robin Hood fetish when I say this:
"Hawke, you have failed this Toyline!"
Super7, this figure, while it got a somewhat decent score, it IS a stinker and I ain't talking about the Evil Warrior. My leniency on accessories, due to the new use for her sword saved them.
But there is a Purple gimp in MOTUC already why do we need another one... Because this one not only wears a gimp suit, but brings bondage gear with him.
I am talking about Lodar. The one mini comics villain who ACTUALLY DID ANYTHING!!
Articulation:
Lodar has hinged wrists... Let that sink in. Lodar has hinged wrists. Other than that, his Articulation is standard fare. His armor is a bit on the soft side and shoulder articulation isn't THAT restricted. 4.5
Paint and Sculpt:
In person his purple isn't that bright. The camera makes it brighter. The Sculpting is pretty good and his boots are badass (Songster NEEDS those boots). I just wish he had a bit more shading. 4.0
Can't like Evil Lyn or Catra flog me instead?
Accessories:
Mace
Chains
There isn't much to say about the mace.
The chains are awesome. They fit on standard brace male figures. Will test it on finned arms and furry arms... Some other time. 4.5 Overall:
Lodar gets a 3.25 as his final score. I think he needed a THIRD accessory like a blast of magic to push him a bit higher. More paint apps would've been welcomed as well. On Lodar, you did good Super7, you did good...
Yup it's Jitsu...
Is it me, or does this feel like writing is on the wall kind of thing?
They are saving the controversial one for last.
But let's talk Jitsu... Not saying that name otherwise I'd abuse the Predator clip... About where you'd need to get to...
Like Spikor before him, he gets a full blown meh... Wait I just realized both figures have no ab Crunch... Screw that noise...
Two out of three have been lame as hell... Good. I can skip them and have a clear conscience. Now I wonder WHO WILL SHOW UP TOMORROW? Please be something crappy like Baron Grid!! (No relation to Gorilla Grodd)
Meh... Yeah, that's all I can really muster as a reaction. Well... FIRST reaction.
Two 20 oz. Cups of coffee later...
WHAT THE HELL POWER-CON!? WHAT IN THE FREAKING HELL!? SPIKOR!? FREAKING SPIKOR AS AN EXCLUSIVE!? THAT'S THE BIGGEST DICK MOVE SINCE THE NON-ATTENDANCE PASS!?
OK, now that I purged the Neeeeeeerrrrd rrrrraaaaaaaageeee! Out of my system, let me explain:
Spikor as a con exclusive feels like a dick move. He could've easily sold a wave. Now here he is at $50 with no accessories... No alternate extra hand, no weapon, nothing!
Melaktha would've been a decent choice for Power-Con... He's got a following, but it's not a MANDATORY figure. He could easily walk the line between Club Grayskull and Collector's Choice... (Even if I loathe that idea on principle... Club Grayskull is meant to be a Filmation variants only line). Hell, even Kothos could go both ways...
Garn! He could totally work both ways as well...
So far, this Exclusive is a snoozefest... Like Filmation Clawful. I kinda want the other two to be like super crappy... Like Danavas.
Well, time will tell who's coming... Besides Winter, Ned...
OK that last part was a bit mean-spirited. Since Spikor already sucks, I don't want the other two to be good, because then I'd be tempted to get them all. Especially since they aren't Collector's Choice.
For obvious reasons...
Yes... Duke Nukem is getting a movie and an actor has been chosen...
That's why I can't see John Cena playing Duke Nukem... Neither I see Hollywood making a faithful adaptation. I mean, Duke Nukem Needs to be a hard R movie with violence, titties, crude humor and be all around offensive as hell. Which means that hypersensitive PC people would be supremely outraged by this.
I dontd see this happening since John Cena (insert lame fanfare here) is the face f the PG era is f the WWE. MR PG in a hard R movie!?
Exactly. Somehow I expect this to be a steaming pile of crap.
Since Sakura is being made for Figuarts and she's my Street Fighter waifu, I kinda needed Ryu. So here we are.
Articulation:
This one is a bit strange. Reminds me a bit of the D-ARTS Terry. The less we talk about him the better. But at the same time it's been improved. The range is there, but it feels awkward. 5.0
Paint and Sculpt:
While he's mostly inspired by V, he feels like a hybrid of 2,3,4,5. Kinda like an "essence of Ryu" but not a specific Ryu. Also when compared to Storm Collectibles, this Ryu feels a bit off. 4.5
Accessories:
Here's where Ryu fails.
-2 heads
-2 extra hands
-Hadoken + stand
-2 useless cardboard pieces that can't stand up as background.
Just two hands!? He costs the same as Storm Collectibles, but comes with a ton less!? 3.5 Overall:
Ryu gets a 4.33 as his final score. It's not a bad score, but he needed to be 20% cooler. He's lacking that bit of oomph! That would've pushed him over the edge... At least he's compatible with ML and Figma...
I guess that I might save some money. Also, they aren't doing presale with BBTS... OK now I'm 90% sure I AM Saving some money.
There is some good news, the oft maligned "non-attendance" ticket fee is no longer needed. In April 6th the pre-order will be on sale... Most likely. They're not 100% sure of that. The figures will be $50, but if you order them all, you get $5 off per figure.
You'd have to pay Priority Shipping and a small handling fee...
I have to be honest:
Based on the teaser pics, I might be a bit pissed off...
One looks like a piece from Kittrina's dress. If it is, then it's a gigantic pile of crap that a New Character isn't being Classicized as it should be.
The other teaser pic shows a furry Loincloth. Could be Stratos, Fisto, Adam, Faker (based on the Return of Faker short) or any of the Loincloth wearing characters.
The last two pics have me stumped. These exclusives better wow me so I can take the plunge.
Also, Toyguru will be attending Power-Con, which is a Non-story since he always goes.
Since my birthday is coming up, I got myself a couple of presents. The Phoenix Wright figure was one of them. (I tend to avoid Figma, because that are a bit too expensive for what they come with.) But keeping the Ace Attorney theme, the Anime part 1 was available (basically the first game)
So here are my thoughts. I vaguely recall that I commented that the anime is an abridged version of the games... No, not an abridged parody like DBZA or YGOA... Or the far superior SAOA to the official SAO.
That is something that is kept on the English dub. Mostly because they can't add scenes like the fan based parodies.
One peculiar thing about the subtitles:
There are two versions the Naruhodo Ryuuichi version or the Phoenix Wright version. That's a nice effort on Funimation'' part. Sal Manella even speeks in 1337 in the subtitles, which is a nice nod to the games...
There is one teensy weensy thing I don't like:
Sam Riegel is not Phoenix Wright... They replaced him with a Funimation VA
...
Edgeworth, who is voice by Kyle Hebert in the games, and is a Funimation VA...
Is not playing Edgeworth... I know, right?
So, Future Trunks is Phoenix... Mia Fey is none other than Android 18!!!
Cody Hawkins, Steel Samurai fan is Goten. Sadly no signs of Schemel and Sabat on this...
Random Trivia from the Japanese version:
Von Karma is played by Akio Otsuka...
Also known as the Japanese counterpart to David Hayter and Queefer Sutherland...
Here's the thing: I cannot recommend this anime because I am far too biased to make a fair and objective judgement. The Ace Attorney series has a soft spot in my heart and I cannot truly say that you should or shouldn't watch it. I'd say that it's about 70% faithful to the game. Some changes, whether I like then or not we're done for pacing, since visual novel games tend to have a slower pace. Despite these differences and changes in VAs, I enjoyed the series.
I mean, the title of this rant is: OBJECTION!! can't you connect the dots? Or do you want me to channel Mia Fey to spell it out for you?
Naruhodo Ryuuichi, or Phoenix Wright for us Westerners, the Figma... I finally caved in and got me an Ace Attorney... No news about any other Ace Attorney figures being made... I really only need at least two more to kinda consider an acceptable display: those are Maya and Edgeworth... Or at least just Maya, because that way I could slip in a reference to MVC3 in a Marvel Legends display
Now to explain Phoenix to everyone.
He's a lawyer from Japan/an alternate dimension where the US didn't persecute the Japanese-Americans during WWII and California got a bit more Japanized... Depends on who you ask. He has to solve some of the strangest death cases around, and more often than not, the people closest to him usually end up being framed for crimes they didn't commit.
Articulation:
It's no secret that I am not a fan of Figma figures... Then again, most of the Figma ítems I have MIGHT HAVE BEEN bootlegs. But since I now have an undeniably official Figma product. The articulation is fine, in theory. It's very hard to keep him standing WITHOUT USING THE STAND. HesH a bit wobbly at the thighs and knees. 4.0
Paint and Sculpt:
Yes, he has "ugly joints" but that's a Japanese figure thing. They allow for some poseable, but can be a bit unsightly for some. (Figuarts hides these joints a little bit more, but not by much.) Other than that, the essence of Wright is well captured. Mostly molded in the appropriate colors means very little paint. Luckily, there are no paint issues on mine. 5.0
Accessories:
Spiky haired lawyer has a lot:
6 signs. Hold it! Objection! Take that! and the Japanese counterparts to them.
2 stands: one for the Ace Attorney and the other for the signs.
Piece of Bench.
2 extra faceplates
Evidence papers
13 extra hands...
If I had ordered the far more expensive exclusive edition I would have gotten:
The sheepish grin that PW makes when he screws up...
Which is a load of crap if you think about it.
That's literally the third most important expression from Wright. If it had been the drenched in coffee face from Trials and Tribulations, it would've been better.
In any case, Wright gets a 5.0
Overall:
Phoenix gets a 4.66 as his final score. It's a decent score. Better than decent, that IS A GOOD SCORE. The Articulation issue kinda ruined it for me.
Articulation:
It's incredibly similar to that of SFV figures, but in leaner bodies. The soft outfit creates very little restrictions on his articulation. Most of the game poses can be recreated easily. 5.0
Paint and Sculpt:
Like Scorpion and Sub-Zero before him, this Reptile is the bloodied version. So there are blood stains all over him.
Like I mentioned in past MK Ninja rants, the Sculpt is basically MK and MK II Hybrid. 5.0
Accessories:
Extra reptile head
Alternate facemask
7 extra hands
3 Force bubble and acid effects.
Alternate tongue for Reptilian head. 5.0
Overall:
Reptile gets a Double Flawless victory as his final score reached 5.0... TOASTY!!
There are a few things I would have liked like an acid spit effect and a removed mask effect. He's a great figure, but ImI getting bored of MK Ninjas. (And we haven't reached the Cyber Ninjas, MK3 style Ninjas... Unmasked Sub-Zero would be cool... Kinda regret not buying the old Jazzwares 3.75 klassic Ninja...
I am having some flashbacks... Discipline, Justice, Commitment!! Luckily for me, it's from the Assassins Fist people.
Yes, they are making a series BASED ON STREET FIGHTER II!! The main characters are:
Guile...
Yeah, Guile IS AN IMPORTANT PIECE IN II. It worries me a bit because, well, see the Van Damned movie.
Chun Li:
Spike!! No Legend of Chun Li Clips!
She's an important part of II as well, because of the Bison Angle...
Ken:
Well, he IS RYU'S SIDEKICK... Plus he has a connection to Guile, so maybe Ken can be the connection for the Backbone of Street Fighter to Guile and co.
Ryu:
FINALLY, THE MAIN CHARACTER OF STREET FIGHTER IS GETTING THE LIMELIGHT!!! I'm so excited and I just can't hide it...
Yes, I'm a bit scared. It sounds a little bit TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I'm worried about execs meddling and ruining what Street Fighter is. I trust the Assassin's Fist people. The TV execs are the ones that make me worried.
I hate Zack Snyder... Not HATE hate, mind you, but I hate him as a director.
*Cue the butthurt DC fanboys*
It's not about liking Marvel or DC. It's that Snyder isn't that good as a director.
*Cue the Snyder fanboys*
Yes, Watchmen is pretty looking. 300 too, even Batman v. Superman had some stunning visuals that seem ripped straight out of the comic book pages. That's it...
Visually speaking, the man knows how to make a scene pop. Yes he also loves to cram in allegories, references, metaphors in his movies, but that alone a good movie does not make.
Zack Snyder is the same thing as Michael Bay.
*Cue the angry DC, Snyder, and Bay fans*
Both directors tend to use a style that is all about flash over substance. Both seem to be hell-bent on ruining everything that 80s kids and nerds hold dear. Both seem to like being "edgy" and have a more "grown up take" on the properties they butcher.
The main difference is that Michael Bay loves to use assault vibrators as his Steadicam handles.
The other difference is that Michael Bay KNOWS he's making the Taco Bell equivalent of Cinema. Snyder thinks he's a Michelin 3 star restaurant, but in reality he's another Taco Bell.
Also, Snyder is not that great at directing actors. He seems to have an issue with toning down hammy performances.
Let's take 300 as an example.
As you can see, the Original Graphic Novel has Leonidas say: "This is Sparta." Period. No exclamation point. Meaning he simply says: This is Sparta, with a subdued and subtle rage, based on the context of the scene. What Snyder did was have Gerard Butler deliver the line in a way over the top manner that has become the stuff of memes. (Seriously, the Japanese dub, of all versions is the most subdued one)
Or let's talk about MARTHA!!
Here's what Snyder was trying to do.
We have Bruce hell-bent on killing Superman because reasons. We have Superman who is fighting Batman, because Luthor took Martha... Kent. Instead of straight out of the bat telling Batman who the real villain is, Superman acted like a douche and was goaded into the fight with Batman. Now with the Kryptonite, Bruce has the upper hand and is about to kill Superman, when Clark pleads for mercy; not for himself, but for his Earth mother. This selfless sacrifice by Clark is supposed to snap Bruce out of his single tracked desire for dark justice and realize he has become the same thing he was supposed to be against. He also sees that the Alien is human... (I mean as in his humanity shows up and makes Bruce, an actual human be more inhumane than the alien)
What went wrong? First let's look at the script. No, not the actual script, but WHO wrote it: Chris Terrio and David S Goyer...
DSG, the man responsible for Ghost Rider 2, Blade Trinity and Jumper just to name a few. I could mention the time he pretended to be a woman to get a script made...
Goyer is hit or miss, but when dealing with comic book stuff, he oozes some disdain for the genre.
Now, Here comes Snyder. As I mentioned before on the 300 example, Snyder seems to be allergic to subtlety. That's why he had to beat us over the head with the whole MARTHA!! Thing. If he had simply had Bruce realize as he stood over Clark's windpipe and about to deliver the killing blow, what he had become; it would've been a little bit better. (Also, Mother and Martha sound very similar when speaking hoarsely with a blocked windpipe. If we still wanted to have a Mother/Martha connection thing.)
It was a great idea, but the execution was off. That's why the scene is derided and mocked. Pretty much everyone understood the scene. The only people who didn't are imaginary strawmen on the minds of Zack Snyder and DCEU fans.
Want to see how stupid this Martha thing is:
What if Clark's mother was named Bianca, Barbara, Irmarie, Michelle, or anything else that is not Martha. Based on what Snyder WAS DOING, that bit of serendipity WAS NEEDED. If Clark had said: "Save Bianca!" That wouldn't have snapped Bruce out of his rage and killed Superman, then Doomsday would be released and Game Over, man!
*Cue the Snyder fanbois and DCEU fanbois*
This is Zack Snyder we're talking about. He wanted Batman to be raped in prison, cause that shit's dark. Having a big mindless monster to use on an epic final showdown is not going to remain unused. If Batffleck had killed Superstache, the Zodsday security measures would fail and the monster would've been unleashed. The massive destruction left by its path and with Bruce and Diana being unable to stop him, would've forced Barry, Arthur, and Victor to show up and help stop that thing... After they find a way to stop him, a repentant Bruce decides to form a League to protect the Earth from threats from inside and out. To carry on Clark's legacy.
I know it's very similar to what Snyder wanted to do. (Probably it WAS what Snyder wanted to do and WB told him, NO. Batman can't kill Superman.)
So, back to the little line about prison rape and Batman.
I understand that he's trying to "ground Batman in the dark and gritty world we live in" with that idea. (And his background with Heavy Metal magazine shows that he's inclined towards darker, grittier comics. I personally feel like he doesn't understand darkness. More on that later.)
OK, so Batman/Bruce is raped. As a character, what does he gain from that experience? Feeling Powerless? Um, that's been done already... The death of the Waynes... That thing that drove into his mind the idea that NEVER AGAIN he will be powerless. The idea that he would do whatever he can to avoid more people feeling how he did, when Crime took his family away. What does emasculating Bruce contribute to his character arc?
Batman gains NOTHING from it. Snyder's idea is just being dark and gritty for the sake of darkness. Especially Superman.
Yes, the idea of the Big Blue Boy Scout can be a "bit boring" but that IS SUPERMAN. He does the right thing, because it's, pardon the redundancy, the right thing to do. Sure, he has all these powers, but what does he do with them? He humbly helps the weak. Not for money, glory, or fear. He just does it because it's the right thing to do. From saving a kitten stuck on a tree, to stopping an airplane from crashing. Nothing seems to be a job too small for Superman.
The quintessential goody two-shoes.
Yes, his unbreakable moral compass and willingness to put others above himself makes our flaws seem bigger. Some resent him for that. Others strive to become better... Kinda like a "Modern Jesus". And this is what most modern filmmakers get wrong about Superman. It's not as easy as having him "sacrifice himself for humanity", stab him with a shared shared of Kryptonite (or make an actual Kryptonite spear, et tu Bat-Longinus). Or having him float on the sky as the sun creates an angelic Halo, or the Jesus on the cross pose. Sure, you can use some of those, but it's better to have a montage of Supes doing good deeds with a big smile on his face as he is delighted for doing what's right.
THE \S/ STANDS FOR HOPE IN KRYPTON. Show me that it stands for Hope here on Earth!! In Man of Steel, every time there was a glimmer of Actual Superman about to show, Snyder came and beat it to a pulp with his darkness for darkness's sake.
In order for BATMAN and SUPERMAN to be Imperfect Mirror Versions of each other, there needs to be a balance.
The recent Batman 36 illustrates this much better than I can. Had Snyder's Superman been that "Light beacon of hope" against the "Dark Knight of Gotham" The clash would've been more impactful. But Snyder chose Dark on Dark and we heard Bob Ross's. To deconstruct, you need to construct first.
Now for the last part: pacing... Like this rant, Snyder has terrible pacing. One could say that his style of slowing down action scenes and then speeding them up to normal speed is echoed throughout the movie. Action scenes flow pretty well, but then the movie grinds to a halt in order to deliver the plot. Not to mention that his movies only work when you have the 4-6 hour version instead of the theatrical release.
He's not an idiot. He overthinking things, tries to be deeper than the ocean with imagery, but is too blunt and tends to beat the proverbial horse with his symbolism. He has some passion for comics, has decent knowledge. Can lift imagery from the comics and make it look good, but his thirst for darkness smothers some Characters.
Guess why Wonder Woman is the best DCEU movie? It's the one with the least involvement from Snyder.
In conclusion: from a technical point of view, Snyder is excellent with visuals. His storytelling NEEDS a lot of work.
Wait... Asshole overpowered protagonist... Darkness over darkness... Wanton Gore and sex... Visuals over story... He's the perfect director for a God of War movie!!
I am talking about Chris Evans... And if I'm doing a review on a Chris Evans related figure Then that means...
No, not that, but I'm either reviewing the Walgreens exclusive Human Torch or a Marvel Legends Captain America...
No need to explain who are Cap and Torch, right?
OK: Torch explanation.
On an outer space adventure, they got hit by cosmic Rays. The four would change forever in some most fantastic ways. No need to fear they're here, just call the four... Fantastic Four!
Reed Richards is elastic. Sue can fade from sight. Johnny is the Human Torch. The Thing just loves to fight. The song didn't help. So, Johnny can turn into a flaming dude who can fly. No gay joke here. The whole he can set on fire thing was my main criticism against MBJ playing the role because it was a black guy setting himself on fire and giving boners to racists asshats.
And that's Captain America in a nutshell, but you can see him in the MCU movies and get a better idea of Chris Evans as Cap.
Let's get cracking: Articulation:
Torch is in a basic buck, so the articulation is standard ML fare. Some of his joints were stuck, but once they were freed they move rather nicely. Problem is that some joints (namely the abs, and hands, but the latter are interchangeable, so it's understandable) 4.5
Cap has a bit better range than Johnny and his joints are tight. But like most Hasbro MLs, Cap can't do the splits. 4.5 Paint and Sculpt:
As I mentioned earlier, Torch is on a standard buck, but added flame details on his arms and legs, not to mention the removable back piece (probably to use Figma stands). The paintwork is minimal, seeing his mostly cast in red and orange translucent plastic. Any slop can be attributed to "artistic interpretation" of flaming effects. The eyes, (4) insignia, and small details are tampographed.
Personally, I would've liked more flames, but store exclusive with little new parts... 5.0
Cap:
His outfit is based on the movie. The Sculpt is decent, but the paintwork isn't as detailed as the actual movie look. But to be fair, mass production retail toys by American companies tend to cut corners here and there in paint application. (Especially Hasbro, Mattel, and the worst offender of them all Playmates toys)
Now, since his outfit is mostly the Civil War outfit minus the star, and more dirt, ImI not too sure if he's reusing preusing parts or if he's an all new Sculpt. (I was not collecting ML while Civil War.) One curious thing that I noticed is that the Hair is a separate piece.
Does this mean we're going to have a Chris Evans Bearded Cap with the mask as a toy as well? 4.5
Accessories:
Torch: extra hands and 2 flame effects to put over the fists. 4.5
Cap: extra BARE fists, Wakanda Shield, Grimace BAF head. (WHY NOT A GLOVED fist?) 4.0
Overall:
Torch:4.66
Cap:4.33
Both are really great figures in their own right. Cap might have lost a bit more due to having a BAF piece, but I feel like they needed to be...
20% cooler. No, no MLP clip today. But, here's a pic of Chris Evans as Human Torch while carrying Captain America's shield.
I saw Death Wish the reboot with John McClane. It was OK... Bruce Willis is no Charles Bronson, but it kinda worked...
A few days later I saw this floating on Facebook:
Tell me he does not look like Charles Bronson.
All I know is that a Stranger (whose name probably won't be mentioned at all due to rights issues, but it looks like Paul Kersey...) Tries to rid a city of crime as he protects a mother and child.
I am really curious about this. But you have to admit it's a bit creepy how much Robert Kovacs looks like Bronson...
My Super7 order is still MIA. QC reports on the figures have not been good. CS is MIA, to when I said hey! what's going on? with my order.
Now, since super Articulated figures seem to be a bit... How can I put this delicately? Problematic for Super7, then why not go for smaller dioramas/playsets and weapons packs?
Snake Mountain is in development hell right now... But a Slime Pit could be doable. Revisit this old rant. It pretty much covers most of the dioramas that S7 could do. They could also do the Triangle Weapon rack. Maybe the weapons from the Eternia Playset as starting items of a possible Weapons pack? Since S7 doesn't have Mattel's parts library, then go for broke with the new pieces... Makes the pack more appealing. I mean, we can only get so many power sword variants...
Once again, Winter has wrapped up and Spring is here. Still waiting for my order from Super7 to ship... Good thing I paid extra for that 3-day shipping... Seems like Murphy's Law has hit Super7 hard... So hard that I'm paying for it... Yes, I'm a bit angry about this. Don't get me wrong, I understand that they're not Mattel, but with each blunder it makes it harder to believe in them... (Wave 3 better Rock my socks off or else wave 2 will be my last.) Hopefully Wave 2 will have most of the wave 1 issues corrected.
But I'm not here to rant about Super7's MOTUC issues. I'm a bit bummed with the whole Toys R Us thing, the delays on delivery from Super7 and Storm Collectibles... Still waiting for Shao Kahn and my Pile of Loot grace period from BBTS is running out... (I have a green Ninja there). I'm also bummed because it's the first Spring that I'm TRULY Alone... Cause no Mom, no Shiba and no Kurumi, Who I swear was a mini-version of Mom. With Spring here, it's supposed to be a time for "rebirth" and "new beginnings" but I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. (Will you Relish on my Misery, ♠️?)
Seems like after the Hurricane, everything has fallen out of sync. Getting older sucks! I mean look at Harrison Ford, who's getting dragged to do another Indiana Jones movie.
But I cannot let myself be dragged into the darkness...
I'm looking forward to infinity war, the MK and Street Fighter figures from Storm Collectibles, spending time with my family...
To shake off some of that loneliness feeling.
If the stars align, maybe hit PR Comic Con once again... Maybe meet a Power That is NOT JDF. Also, I need to finish watching the bunch of movies that I bought during the hurricane aftermath... And yes that includes the hentai.
In any case, I'm feeling a little better now... Crap! I was just reminded of the Netflix She-Ra series and now I feel like crap once again...
Harrison Ford is not well. Recent interviews for Blade Runner 2049 show him not well. He seems a bit lost, confused, borderline senile. It pains me to say this, but I don't think Indiana Jones V should be made. He got too old for this shit. Even in The Force Awakens, he looked already too old and tired. Part of me is afraid that this will sick so hard and make his last Indiana Jones movie be something awful. How awful? That it makes the Kingdom of Shia LaBeouf look good!
Seems that Spielberg should apply some of this advice.
Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes... KB Toys might return...
Kids might still have a chance of going to a real toy store... It hurts that Toys R Us is dying, but my number one Toy Hunting grounds were KB Toys... Especially since I had one available at three minutes on foot from campus.
This is really exciting news. If KB Toys returns, that's ANOTHER place for me to hunt for toys and videogames. Not only that, but the name KB Toys is strongly associated with Nostalgia for me... Most of my original MOTU came from KB. My first TMNT was from KB. Most of my 200X came from KB. MGS and MGS2, I bought from KB. FFVII was bought on a KB. Most of my ML were from KB. (My first SMC, proto ML Spidey line was from KMart) my PS1 was from KB. So, yeah, there is some attachment to KB Toys here.
I bought a NECA SFIV Guile before Storm Collectibles announced their SFII Guile.
He arrived a long time ago, but the backlog...
OK, USAF Colonel Guile has a mission...
We've seen the Van Damme movie. No need for...
Ugh!
The TV tray has returned! It's one of the original House of Rants it came from the Toy Chest TV trays used for the reviews.
Articulation:
It's a NECA figure, IN THEORY it Should have decent Articulation. In reality his left toe hinge is stuck and won't budge. His thigh hinge budged after the freeze and heat treatments... Luckily for me, Guile's poses are easy to replicate. 4.5
Paint and Sculpt:
It's based on Street Fighter IV... Which made Guile look a bit Cavemannish. It's kinda accurate. The paint job is on the bright side, especially for a guy wearing military uniform. But it's accurate to the game. 4.5
Accessories:
Extra open hands. 1.0
Bison's ass is his...
Overall:
Guile gets a 3.33 as his final score. The lack of accessories hurt him a lot. I mean SOTA had an extra head, Sonic Boom effects, 3 extra hands and the dog tags were removable (blessing and curse) but he will be a placeholder until Storm Collectibles releases their SFII GUILE.
GI Joe 3 might be happening with the director of XXX 3... Apparently he "understands Joe" ("so did" Jon Chu) and the previous movies "missed the mark". With all due respect, Chu did a decent job based on the continuity from the awful first movie. If he had been at the helm on the first one, maybe, we would've been in a better place for Joe. The problem that Caruso will face is that he's going to be tied to the crappy continuity from the past two movies.
My expectations for this movie are really low... I already expect it to be a dumpster fire. That way, I might be somewhat pleasantly surprised... yo Joe...
But wasn't Hasbro supposed to be rebooting Joe and Transformers to create a Cinematic Universe where Mobile Armored Strike Kommand was a sub-division of the Joe's that used reverse-engineered Cybertronian tech and that one of the scientists involved in reverse engineering the tech was Emmett Benton...
The second trailer for Avengers: Infinity War has dropped... Well it did a few days ago.
Holy crap! This trailer makes Justice League feel like a steaming pile of crap.
Over 20 heroes star in this cosmic event. But to be fair, Marvel has used about 18 movies to showcase these characters all leading up to this event.
Justice League had a buttload of issues trying to set up 6 heroes. This is the part where DC fanboys get butthurt.
Had WB done the wise thing and create a strong foundation for their Cinematic universe, Justice League itself would have made infinity war feel insignificant. They didn't. They RUSHED TO THE LEAGUE for that Avengers money and failed miserably.
I wasn't impressed by it. OK it was better than the cradle of life... and the other Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider movie, but it felt bleh... It feels closer to the game, but how can I describe the movie...
Let me number my issues with it:
Lara is already empowered. The appeal of Nu Lara is that she's an average girl forced to Man-up and become a survivor. This Lara is an extreme cyclist who happens to practice MMA in her spare time. She's already a super badass before reaching the island.
It takes almost an hour for Tomb Raider to start Tomb Raiding. There are some elements that act as a tribute to the 2013 game peppered in, mainly the river escape and some pickaxe work near the end. The movie felt like a watered down Indiana Jones meets Hunger Games.
I wanted the movie to succeed, but it was rather bland and uninteresting.
At least The Disaster Artist did not disappoint. James Franco played Tommy Wiseau eerily well. I had to keep reminding me that it wasn't Tommy, but James Franco.
The movie is basically a retelling of How Greg Sestero met the enigmatic Tommy Wiseau and ended up working in The Room. The movie does mock the eccentricities of Tommy, but at the same time it comes from a place of admiration towards Wiseau.
The movie made me want to see The Room redone with the cast from The Disaster Artist... I didn't realize that Chris R was Mr. high school musical himself. I know I mentioned it back when the cast was chosen, but I kept forgetting the known actors playing the roles.
As some of you may be aware, I'm a bit of a fan of Nu Lara Croft. Will probably see the Reboot movie. Not feeling Alicia Vikander as Lara, if I'm allowed to be honest here.
Tomb Raider 3 is coming this September... Spidey is also coming in September and RDR 2 in October...
I hope she gets her Classic Outfit in PS4 graphics as a DLC.
I'm a Toys R Us kid... Was the jingle that defined the late Gen Xers, the Xennials (though I prefer the Oregon Trail Generation) and elder Millennials. But mostly the children of the eighties whose experiences with the Toy Giant have been Mostly wonderful. Let's be honest here. This isn't simply the death of a company. Much like the death of Blockbuster Video, this marks the end of a friend... A Corporate Mascot friend. Many of us waited for the Sunday newspaper just to grab the TRU fliers and gaze at the wonderful toys within. We did our homework each week, even the dreaded chores were done just to have a chance of a Sunday adventure at the most amazing place to be a kid... And I ain't talking about Chuck E. Cheese.
Let me take you back to the past... To the early 90s (1990-1992 if I recall correctly) Toys R Us arrived to Puerto Rico. It's first store opening next to the Second Largest Mall in Latin America and Puerto Rico's first Mall, Plaza Las Américas. The lot built for Toys R Us was rather large. (Babies R us was barely 20% of the store's size. Currently it's about 50% of the store. More on that later.) Once you got in through the sliding doors it was like you had died and gone to heaven. Toys as far as the eye could see. First thing that caught my attention was the Batman toys for the Batman 89 movie. I pleaded with my old man to get some, but he said: No! Don't be an idiot! Don't fall for the first toy you see! Wise words, but in retrospect, he was probably afraid that I'd ask for the Batcave. (Which probably would've been too much for a bi-weekly toy bribe from a divorced parental unit.)
Luckily for him, I wasn't into Skinny Jeans He-Man, but I was into TMNT. With $15 I returned to his place with a Casey Jones, Metalhead, and a Rat King. Casey unfortunately broke. His left hand ended up being glued in place.
Not all the trips to TRU yielded toys, but it was exciting to see the toys and the game demos... Speaking of games, I wasn't able to get many games until the NES Stuff was on clearance... Stupid "you need to beat the game to get a new one" rule. So getting games back then was a hassle. You took a piece of paper with the name of the game, price and barcode to the cashier and paid for it. Then you'd go to a small window next to the cashier, where you handed over the receipt AND THE PIECE OF PAPER to the employee, who'd bring back the game.
Going every month was exciting. To see the new toys, the displays like those from the TV ads. If you were lucky, Geoffrey the giraffe would be strolling around the store on certain key dates. Eventually, the electronics section simplified the buying process, the toys got a bit lamer... (Late 90s toys were a bit lame) until ToyBiz and McFarlane brought some life to toys.
Then in the early 2000s TRU was my final hunting grounds for ToyBiz Marvel Legends and early Hasbro figures... Then came MOTUC and my visits to TRU decreased until 2014 when I started to expand my collecting by getting random non-MOTUC items every now and then. Then after Mom's passing, I've found myself going to TRU on my free time. Baby's R Us had overtaken half the store. The amount of toys available had decreased by 75% compared to the 90s. These past few years, Toys R Us has become a hollow shell of what it USED to be. It was kind of disappointing to constantly go and return empty handed because they hadn't restocked.
But despite all that, according to people who have gone with me to Toys R Us, they say that I get a spring in my step and that I "glow" whenever I enter. And that's what's important to me. For 15-45 minutes, I can forget about bills, work related stress, my depression, my quarter life crisis (as I creep closer to mid-life), my heartbreaks, and everything else. To feel like a kid, just for a little while. To escape the room and gloom of adult life, for a few minutes. To reconnect with the inner child that I refuse to let go of. To be at a "safe space" or a "happy place". That's what Toys R Us means to me, beyond being a simple store. It's a monument to childhood... That was mercilessly assassinated by Mitt Romney's minions.
Sure, Toys R Us was never my #1 toy hunting spot (I would've had to take a bus, while KB was at walking distance from Campus) but it holds a special place in my heart. Knowing that soon it will be no more has made me cry, literally... As in tears are flowing out of my eyes as I write this and a stabbing pang of sadness has hit my heart.
Thank you for the toys and experiences, Toys R Us!!! We will miss you!!
Unlike the Previous Walgreens list, this one has some of the tooling limitations removed. I will list normal figures And BAFs because I can...
1: Shuma Gorath (BaF)
You know that I am thinking about MARVEL Superheroes and to complete the roster for the game. I selected him as a BaF because he's a tough sell on his own.
2: Professor X (with Hoverchair) (Hoverchair is the BaF)
Professor X is a rather easy figure to make. But the sweet thing would be the Hoverchair.
3: Alistair Smythe the Ultimate Spider Slayer
There's really no reason other than referencing the 90s animated series. No, seriously, There has been no references to the Spider-Slayers in the 16 years of Marvel Legends.
4: Classic Luke Cage
Let's face it. The ToyBiz Luke Cage is kinda crappy, in retrospect. Or at least the hands suck.
5: Puma
I remember him from a story back when I was learning English (1988-89). I have to be honest here, I don't care much about the character, but I kinda like him BECAUSE I remember him from my childhood.
6: X-Man, Nate Grey
We're at a point where we have a few Cables going around, well, let's at least get a Cable that is different from NORMAL Cable. He's one of the few AOA Guys who I like.
7: Rocket Racer
Big Wheel is far too ludicrous, even as a BaF. But, Rocket Racer fills the ludicrous pot quite well, and wouldn't require too much work. If we have Disco Derby Dazzler, then Rocket Racer would be a great addition.
8: Shriek
I suppose you already know why she is here. No need to explain.
9-11: Power Pack
This one almost feels like cheating, but Alex and Julie are in their late teens, so they can be single releases. Jack and Katie could be a two pack. (Also, Power Pack and the House of Rants have a small history)
12: Baron Mordo (comic version)
While the movie Mordo is a nice figure, it's not Baron Mordo. We need a true blue Baron Mordo for the comic book fans.
13: Uatu the Watcher (BaF)
Marvel Select made a nifty Uatu compatible with legends many years ago. It hasn't been rereleased, so maybe Hasbro could make an affordable version of him.
14: Rage
He was made as a Marvel Universe figure, but not in the Legends line. Since he's a minority and they seem to be hip now, he should jump to the six inch side. Also he predates DC's Bane for a few years.
15: Doppelganger Spider
Yes, there are a few Maximum Carnage stragglers on this list. Carnage is coming, have they made Carrion? I know there was a demogo Lin figure (repainted from the more demonic looking hobgoblin from ToyBiz.)
16: BIBEAST (BaF)
I'm not asking for a true scale Bi Beast (huh huh Bi) because that would be a ToyBiz sized BaF (and Hasbro doesn't do those.)
Hulk needs some love and here we are.
17: Whiplash
We have Mickey Rourke, but not Comic Book Whiplash. Just to show that I can give Stark some love as well.
18: The Mandarin
Ironman 3 wasn't the only disappointing Mandarin. There's rubber tunic Mandarin from the ToyBiz era of Marvel Legends that needs some decent replacement ASAP!!
19: Namorita
Yes, I've added her for the reason that she's a New Warrior. There have been a few characters that one could make a Hodge podge of New Warriors, but not a full roster. Also, girl Namor...
20: Genesis Cable's son, corrupted by evil, now the heir of Apocalypse... Turned into a kebab by an angry Stabby Canadian who went feral after a failed Adamantium bonding attempt.
21: Psylocke (Armored Betsy)
Before the popular Asian Psylocke, there was Armored Caucasian Psylocke. We haven't gotten a figure of that Psylocke, so there you have it
22: Emma Frost (Generation X)
I'd normally go for the Hellfire Club version, but something something retailers wouldn't sell a figure in Victoria's Secret clothing.
23: Banshee (Blue and Gold outfit)
Remember the awful Hasbro wave 1 Banshee? We need to fix that Abomination. The Blue and Gold outfit are a nod to his Generation X days.
24: Toad
We lack a decent Toad, period. The ToyBiz ML 1 Toad lacks a lot of articulation needed for a decent Toad. He's also out of scale.
25: Beast (classic blue fur look)
We haven't had a Beast in his classic look since ToyBiz wave 4. And that figure suffers from scale and articulation issues.
26: Kaine (90s Black suit with cape)
I love the Clone Saga, despite all the jokes about it. This era gave us the best substitute for Peter Parker in the form of wait for it... Peter Parker!? Whose arch nemesis was wait for it... Peter Parker!!
27: Spider-cide
The fourth "main clone" (not counting Jack or Guardian) of Spidey. With all the Spidey variants available, a Clone Saga display is rather easy to do. We just need the Key characters and Spider-cide is one of them.
28: Sebastian Shaw
Some Hellfire Club love. We already have the white and black queens, so why not add a Black King to the mix.
29: Lilandra
With the whole Phoenix Saga love that Marvel Legends has had, I'm surprised that Lilandra hasn't been made. Also, Chuck needs some lovin'
30-31: Aunt May and Uncle Ben
These two should totally be a two-pack. We've had Aunt May figures before, just not in Marvel Legends.
32-33: Spider-man (AF15 Wrestling attire) and Crusher Hogan
Like my previous 2 figures, this is a tribute to Amazing Fantasy 15. CRUSHER HOGAN is a n added bonus, but the star here is Peter Parker. (Who should have an alternative unmasked head with glasses)
34-35: Tony Stark and Professor Ho Yinsen
I'm dealing in two packs now because of the obscurity of some Characters. In this case Professor Yinsen would be a tough sell on his own.
36-37: Cyclops and Jean Grey (Jim Lee outfits)
The difference between this Jean and the previous one would be the hairstyle. This one should be in the animated series ponytail and have an extra Cerebro Helmet wearing head. (For all those Jeangasms) Cyclops would be the same as the Warlock wave, but he'd be wearing the 90s bomber jacket.
38-39: Eddie Brock and Cletus Kasady
Yes, it's Venom and Carnage in "civilian clothes". They would of course have interchangeable arms and snap-on pieces to simulate the symbiotes taking over. 40-41: Rick Jones and Bruce Banner
This is another nod to the origins of Hulk and an excuse to have a Rick Jones (who should come with Nega Bands that can be skipped in after popping out his hands)
42-43: Puppet Master and Doctor Doom
Puppet Master on his own is kind of a dud... I KNOW. Putting him with Doctor Doom seems like an obvious pairing. Puppet Master should come with a bunch of mini sculptures of F4 characters and a few Avengers for fun.
44-45: The Thing and Alicia Masters
What would make The Thing Special is that he'd be wearing the 90s unitard. (Preferably with interchangeable arms to have a Trenchcoat look for him to be in public with Alicia) Alicia could reuse some parts from MJ.
46-47: Punisher vs The Russian
I have been Neglecting Frank and company. As a tribute to Welcome Back Frank, this set would be cool just for The Russian. Frank Castle is an added bonus.
48-49: Blade vs Dracula
Dracula is Dracula, but Blade would be the 1970s version of him. Brown coat, green pants.
50: Silver Sable
I suggested Puma way up above, we already have Sandman and Spidey. Having those three and Silver Sable one could kinda have a bit of Wild pack representation in ML.
Whoa... I was gunning for 30 and ended up with 50? That's just scratching the surface because there's plenty of Avengers, cosmic beings, 2099, X-people to choose. The sad part is that Toys R Us (RIP) would've been the perfect grounds to release some of these.
