Oct 31, 2022

Random TMNT toy musings: a Super7 TMNTU rant

Currently, I'm not sure of the scope that Super7 has with TMNT. I know that they can deviate from the vintage line, as we saw with Guerrilla Gorilla and to an extent with Lazy Shredder variant based on an unreleased variant. 

So far we have gotten figures from
The 1988-1990 waves. Since Guerrilla Gorilla is NOT Sgt. Bananas, then we haven't gotten anything from 1991 or 1992. 

"BuT nEfTy, PuNkEr DoN iS a 1991 fIgUrE!"

Alright, I'll ammend my statement: We haven't gotten anything RELEVANT from 1991-1992.
On the other hand 1993 has been nearly halfway done. 1994 has Undercover Raph, from the Undercover wave, which is WAY different than Don, the Undercover Turtle...

And we don't really NEED to look beyond 1994.
Mostly, because it's dumb variant city. BUT if we NEED to look at other directions, the MOTUC and to an extent Masterverse approach should be used on TMNTU...
We kinda have 67% of a Vintage styled Dogpound. IIRC, the FourHorsemen now do Digital sculpts for the figures... if they have the files for say, Guerrilla Gorilla, that sculpt could be tweaked digitally for the new Vintagized Dogpound sculpt. The reason i mention guerilla Gorilla is because he's built in proportions that could work for Dogpound.
I traced over Guerilla Gorilla with the Cellphone equivalent of MSPaint to show how the "vintage styled proportions" could work. I know he looks friendly, but the Cellphone doesn't let me do the level of details required to do him justice.
Fishface can work on a moderately to heavily modded Krang Bubble Walker. My drawing ended up being too thick because I was working around Krang. I know his legs are "too thin" but the tail should act as a sort of tripod in combination with the other two. (It should touch the ground when Fishface is squatting slightly.) Now this is the part where you say that I already have mentioned this... Which is totally true, but here's a nugget of repetition: it's better to explore new characters than odd variants like: Troll Turtles, Bandito Michelangelo, shogun Shredder etc.

Folks like the two mentioned above, Hun, IDW's Jennika, Mirage's Karai, 2k3's Agent Bishop,  and others are welcome additions to the line, since they can be useful to expand canon... not to mention cool toys. But I know some folks would say: Gimme Super Shredder, Pizzaface, Rat King, Traag, etc. before adding new crap! I'm KINDA with you, but at the same time, I don't want them to fully blow their loads on 1989-1991, because we're gonna miss out on some cool figures from 1993-1994.

But Pizzaface worries me with his peg leg gimmick. The Articulation and figure's weight vs the flimsy legs. My guess is that he might end up with 1 Rigid pizza cutter leg and 2 Cleavers. 1 for usage as weapon and the other to use as a leg. Also, the pizza discs... will they be vintage accurate, or will they look more pizza-like?

Sewer Surfing Mike has gone under a few changes regarding his "little critters" sculpted into his body in order to fit the articulation... I wonder if it'll be the same for Rat king, or will they do like they did for Space Cadet Raph where the critter became a "Little Buddy"?
The problem with rat king is that a lot of the sculpted rats block his articulation. 

I won't discuss Traag, who by the look of things will become a possible candidate for an $85 slot... and I've done Super Shredder way too much.

Playsets are just too cost prohibitive at the moment. I could see Super7 doing a sewer playset for $600-ish. But just an upscale of the vintage set with nothing new... and let's face it, the vintage sewer playset isn't that great.
The Technodrome is a logistical nightmare. I've suggested small scaled dioramas. I'm thinking a plastic "base" with card elements attached. Kinda like some wrestling playsets... The idea is that they could vary in price, depending on what they are:
Like say, a Rooftops diorama would be interlocking plastic pieces to make parapets for 1 or 2 buildings, a combination of plastic and cardboard parts to make a rooftop access structure (non functional), chimneys, old tv antennae, reversible backdrop (night and day), maybe even some pigeons. This would be the cheapest diorama since it's mostly cardboard and a few plastic pieces.

A sewer Diorama would need a bit more plastic than the rooftop diorama. Mainly because of the pipes and the arches at each junction. Not to mention collapsible bits of wall to simulate Mousers chomping up walls.
 
A streets Diorama would be the most expensive set. Mostly due to the amount of props and background elements. Parking meters, fire hydrants, sewer covers, traffic cones, etc. The backdrops would be the first floor of some buildings, shops, etc. to make the streets come alive. There would be a few different types of backdrops to combine multiples as a longer diorama.

These first 3 types I described were purposely made generic, so collectors of different subset of Ultimates could get them. For TMNT specific types, may I suggest 3 more?

Sewer Lair: 
Similar to the standard Sewer dio, but with a different backdrop AND TMNT Specific props:
TV, Couch, bookshelf with books (like art, and martial arts), stuff for Donatello's lab, etc. 
The idea is that you get enough stuff to decorate different rooms of the lair. You could use the normal sewer diorama in addition to this one to expand the lair.

Channel 6 Building:
This is basically the front facade of the Channel 6 building. The "first floor" would be a plastic"base" with the doors to the building and the front wall. Then, behind the big [6] a cardboard cutout of the building would be attached.
As you can see on the pic the area inside the red lines would be the plastic base and the area inside the blue would be the cardboard addition. Put 2 City dios at both sides and boom! Perfect TMNT DISPLAY for the turtles AND Party Wagon! If Super7 does a Foot Cruiser, this display would be great for both vehicles.

The Third would be the inside the Technodrome. This one is kinda obvious on how it would be. Personally, I'd include a bunch of spy flies, a6 exterminators, which are tiny figurines that require very little paint and have 0 articulation. These would be an incentive to get the Technodrome diorama.

Since Weapon packs like MOTU can't  be a thing with TMNT, I was thinking of Character upgrade packs... I know that I've mentioned these before, but it's an idea worth repeating. Extra hands, heads, key accessories are something I've been thinking of.
For example, the Turtles:
All 4 turtles would have:
-Head without headband
-extra hands:
(Pointing, Hang-ten, closed fist grasping their bandana, judo chop)
Leo, Don, and Mike would have:
-Vintage and Modern heads with Mirage Red Bandana

Unique accessories for each turtle:
Leo:
-Meditating head (closed eyes, and exhaling through his mouth)
Ninjato and kunai from Sewer Samurai.
-sword slash effect

Don:
-Head with custom Turtle-made Jeweler glasses
-hands holding tweezers and other tiny tools that would be too tiny to be made as loose tools for him to use.
-broken turtle communicator
-spinning bo staff effect

Raphael:
-2 new heads vintage and modern style screaming head to compensate for the lack of Mirage heads.
-3rd new laughing head. (Funny joke or is ready to kick ass, you decide)
-spinning sai hands with spinning sai effects.
-pizza sai. A stiffer plastic sai with painted marinara sauce on the tip and a pizza slice with a hole to slip it in the sai.

Michelangelo:

-extremely determined looking head... like the one pictured above or when he does the badass parrying in the intro. (Just before: Splinter taught them to be ninja teens)
-Turtle Communicator (open and closed)
- special movie 1 inspired twirling chucks hand with twirling chucks.
-special spinning nunchuck. (Like Panthro or the NECA figure)

Vehicles... vehicles... oh man... the Foot Cruiser is most likely going to be in the $400 range.  So would be the Transport Module. I shouldn't mention the Blimp because that would totally obliterate our wallets. Since those three vehicles are too expensive, maybe we should try some of the smaller ones. The Cheapskate has they shoot at none of the turtles have Peg holes. Re-releasing a new version of the turtles with peg holes being the sole difference would be somewhat of a dick move. Does anyone even care about the Turtle Trooper... because I Don't.
Not going to like, the Knucklehead would be an interesting one, but Super7 would probably charge $200 for it.
Pizza Thrower without electronics, no way... The Turtle Cycle could be doable and probably would be under $100... but, for symmetry's sake, we need an evil vehicle...
It's the only worthwhile vehicle left...
OK, there's the Shreddermobile, but...
Wait there's the Technodrome Scout Vehicle...
April's Ninja newscycle could be a thing, if we get an exclusive April Bike Helmet...
I mean it's less redundant than a $500 redeco of the party wagon... talking about the newsvan.

So yeah, Footski, Knucklehead, and Technodrome Scout Vehicle would be the top 3 picks that are for the bad guys and are small-ish. 

I KINDA want the NINJA newscycle, but with a special April... the Yellow suit with orange and blue accents.

But until people get their Thundertank and Party Wagon, we shouldn't get too hyped about vehicles. I'm not saying it as in "they're going to suck ass..." I'm saying it as in "Before we go to crazy, we need to see how these work out." Have the actual wagon or Thundertank in hand, see the photos and actual reviews. Remember the "final figure may vary" posted on the pictures for preordere. What if some of the sculpted parts in the preorder become stickers. Areas that were supposed to have an intricate paint job are now chunks of unpainted plastic? 
I hope they don't cut corners, but the fear is always there with every preorder... with a $55 figure, I can complain and take it... a $450 vehicle might be more rage inducing. I wouldn't want to be locked in another huge preorder if the Party Wagon or the Thundertank ends up being underwhelming. They could end up being freaking awesometastic with 2 scoops of hell yeah! and well worth the wait for those who preordered.

I'm well aware that it kind of sounds like I have sour grapes about this. I'm just worried that inflation will be blamed when corners are cut. With the trend of blame inflation, I'm gonna say Accessories will be cut first... like the redundant vintage racks. My next guess afterwards would be some paint accents (we saw that in Muckman, who despite having a lot of painted stuff, some things were left unpainted) or maybe hands, which we're seeing a reduction of them already. I don't want to see the line end up with figures having Muckman levels of accessories, which was the bare minimum beyond what the vintage figure had. 

In some cases Full deviations from vintage must be done: I am referring to the vintage Mutatin' figures. I don't want a half-assed Hamato Yoshi that can turn into a half-assed Splinter. We have a decent Splinter. So we should get a Decent Hamato Yoshi. Perhaps he should come with an extra sleeved fabric robe for Splinter.  So here's what I'd like to do for Hamato Yoshi:
Fabric clothes (hakama and kimono) extra kimono for Splinter. 
Hands:
Standard grip horizontal hings
Standard grip vertical hinge
Fists 
Arrow hand
Sai grip hand
Relaxed hands
Mutating into a rat hands*
Heads:
Neutral
angry
Mutating*
Weapons:
Cane sword
Bow and arrows
Quiver
Kunai
Shuriken
Extra accessories:
Art book
Empty Mutagen CANISTER*

*= optional but not required. Could be added in a theoretical pugrade pack.

His body would be mostly new, but based on Shredder's a new truly shirtless torso would be needed. New bare forearms and new lower legs would be required. The idea is that Both Yoshi and Saki can reuse the body with small alterations between them to differentiate both figures.

I kept Yoshi Splinter themed with the same accessories as Splinter, because he's Splinter.
The Sai hand is emant to use one of the spare sai from the mouser set. The bare human hands could be premaking some parts for Vernon.

For Oroku Saki here's what I'd want:
Reusing the Hamato Yoshi body with new forearms that look like Shredder's but with no spike armor
New lower legs that look like Shredder's without the spiked armor
Cloth Kimono and Hakama based on the Mutatin figure.
His hands would be reused from the original Shredder and maybe 2 new hands with the 2 finger ninja pose.
His weapons would be the same as Shredder, but instead of the single Katana, he gets dual swords and a scepter inspired by the Mutatin figure.
For heads, I'd suggest 3:
Normal Saki
Angry Saki
A Mutatin Shredder helmet in Blue and Silver...
That way it can be used by any of the Shredder figures.
I'm not going to lie and pretend that I don't have an ulterior motive with Oroku Saki. If his fabric clothing were to fall in a bowl full of purple dye and I got a 3rd party head inspired by Tatsu, I could make a custom Tatsu... unless Super7 thought ahead and gave us a Tatsu head that doesn't look like Obata-san... all we need is a bald dude with mustache... hell, the FourHorsemen could use Cornboy's head as a base. Not all bald men look the same.

I won't go into details for Pre-Mutation Baxter, since I've already covered the plan of getting both Mirage and toon Baxters in one figure.

I once did Bebop and Rocksteady, but now I kinda want to go on a different direction with them. The Vintage Mutatin figures are meh at best. Especially white Bebop... feh! So, for starters, They should have clothes that look really close to the outfits worn by the Mutated versions we know and love. 
For example, Rocksteady's outfit is the same as his mutated version, but no turtle shells. He also has a bandolier with shotgun shells and a machete holster in the back. (These are nods to the toon version)
For his accessories:
Shotgun (new or reuse Leatherhead's)
Machete
2 Spray cans with removable spray effect.
Sledgehammer
For hands:
Normal grip hands
Pair of shotgun hands (right trigger, left pump holding)
Spray can holding hands
Fists
Heads:
No helmet 
With helmet 

For Bebop, I feel like toon inspiration is very important over recreating the vintage figure. Meaning, human Bebop MUST BE Black. His outfit should be his warthog self's outfit with a short sleeved pink shirt as a nod to the Mutatin figure.
For his accessories:
Knife
Spiked ball and chain (nod to the wacky action figure)
Battery powered Drill (nod to his eventual Dril Gun)
2 spray cans (same as Rocksteady but different colors)
Chainsaw 
For hands:
Normal grip hands
Spray can grip hands
Fists
Gun grip hands for the drill
While he gets no extra heads, his head should be removable (in case of future upgrades)

The idea behind these two is to give them similar, but different stuff that references what they will become. But at the same time make them different from the mutated forms.

Foot Soldier army Builder pack... it would be neat if we could get one of those... I know, that some will say that a $110 2-pack is too much. Or that 2-packs ruin the ultimates style packaging...
Well, let me finish: The army builder pack would not be for the MOC Collector. I'm thinking that Super7 could take a page out of Hasbro and release the army builder pack in the most minimalistic packaging as possible. Even the Plastic free bullshit packaging is welcome for this pack.
2 Foot Soldiers, 1 sets of hands, 1 unpainted weapons rack at a lower price than 2 figures.
I want to say $70... since it's the price of 2 Ultimates figures from the first generation (MOTUC). I removed too much stuff for me to use the TMNT wave 1 $90 price for 2 figures.
If this was to sell for $110, I'd need a third foot soldier to feel "value" in an army builder. Not to mention that Super7 could "recoup" some of their "loss" by doing a Foot Soldier Upgrade pack.
For $20 they could have a set of Foot Soldier hands and 2 Sets of Weapons in Foot Soldier grey... personally, I'd use a Shredder and a Foot Soldier Rack for these.
The idea is to "trick people" into buying the Army Builder and a few months later, they buy the Upgrade pack. With the addition of traditional Ninja weapons from the Shredder rack in Foot Soldier grey, folks who didn't buy the army builder ser, might buy an upgrade pack... or two for the sake of having Normal ninja weapons in a color that makes sense for the Foot Soldiers.  If further packs are made, perhaps adding weapons ONLY AVAILABLE through the packs

But a lot of these ideas have the same amount of chances to become real as me hitting the Power Ball WITHOUT BUYING A TICKET! 
 
While Logistically speaking, Super7 hasn't done as well as Mattycollector... mostly because they don't have a Multibillion company backing them up and allowing for swifter delivery and lower productprices. If they could have Mattycollector prices, they would've been in a much better position. Sadly, they're not, so some of my ideas may not be logistically feasable. I will tossing ideas, because you never know if maybe we can get on similar wavelengths and get something similar.

Ghost Jaga is available for preorder

 It's Jaga in translucent blue, as expected.

He comes with less stuff than Normal Jaga. Again, the Ghostly Jaga only appeared as a Force Ghost like Obi-Wan or Yoda. Funny thing: the Sword that Jaga has is used on the episode with Grune, which is the only time his ghost appears in full color instead of this blue form.

I dread the LJN repaint...

Norman Reedus needs to get to Iceland ASAP

 Otherwise we might have a situation... Tell Léa Seydoux that you need to get there ASAP. We don't need a voidout because Haley Joel Osment began listening to Low Roar...

The reason I'm using references to a shitty Hideo Kojima game is because the frontman from the band used on the soundtrack for said game has kicked the bucket... Kojima made a tweet saying that if it wasn't for Low Roar's music, we wouldn't have had said shitty game.

You might think: "Yo, Nefty, this isn't a time to attack Death Stranding, a dude just died."
Your assumption is mostly correct. My issue is how Kojima used Karazijl (1982-2022)a's death to promote Death Stranding.
The whole: "Without Ryan, without you and your music, Death Stranding would not have been born." sentence rubs me the wrong way.
ESPECIALLY coming from Hideo Kojima, a guy whose words are always so meticulously chosen, to the point that he got rid of English Localization in order to have LITERAL translations for his games. Or how egotistical he is, like when he tried to get rid of David Hayter, because it seemed that his work as Snake was surpassing Kojima's popularity. Do I even need to mention A Hideo Kojima game? 

I mean he could have tweeted something like:
"I heard the news. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. Ryan and your music inspired so many. It inspired me to keep on keeping on. Your music will live on in this world through those you inspired, like me and many others. Thank You. Rest in Peace.
Ryan Karazjila (1982-2022)"

I kept the whole his music inspired Death Stranding without sounding like I'm pimping the game. In any case my condolences to his friends and family.


Oct 30, 2022

Top 20 MOTU Characters/variants who need a Masterverse figure.

 I am not a huge fan of Masterverse, but I did get a few for the Advent Calendar (I did not buy all of them though.) So, this list is just for fun and see what MOTU stuff could get the Masterverse treatment. I must point out that most of the stuff will come from characters that had toy versions in previous lines like NA, 200X, vintage, etc. Will try to keep cartoon characters as close to zero as possible.

20: Battleground Teela:
She would be a perfect candidate for New Eternia and its more Savage world. A more Traditional Teela kinda exists with the Revelation one. 

19: Mo-Larr:
I know what you're thinking: What the Hell!?
But hear me out: with a fabric dentist vest, meaning it's removable, we could have a character that could be 2 different characters as a deluxe figure... Who would fit that role? Vykron. Since tossing all 3 outfits for Vykron could be considered crazy, I thought that Mo-Larr could be Vykron's 4th persona. A derranged medic who loves pulling the teeth of his opponents. Also, Mo-Larr is the base figure for Nefty-kun.

18: Tanktop:
The Second Vykron persona, Tanktop, could use"an entire new body" to look more tank-like. Then Mattel could add some random parts for a new 5th persona for Vykron.

17: Space Ace:
The Third original Persona for Vykron, and cutting it too close to Mouse property... as stated before, he's going to need some new extras to create a 6th Persona. 

The idea with the "Vykron wave" is to create all three original versions and allow plenty of parts for customization. Not to mention that more compulsive customers will buy 2 of each... just like they did with Pope Tri-Klops and Bishop Trap Jaw. Storywise it could be 1 guy or it could be 3 dudes that scam villages of their gold by terrorizing them with a persona, then showing up as a hero with the other persona, staging a fight and collecting the reward.

16: New Eternia Rio Blast:
One of the oddities from Later waves in vintage... I'm curious on how would he work here.

15: Revelation Clamp Champ:
I may dislike Revelation, but since we got Fisto, we need his Dead Partner...

14: Mantenna:
Hordak, Catra, and Shadow Weaver are a thing. We need to fill up the ranks of the Horde.

13: Bow:
If the Horde gets padded, the Rebellion needs to do the Same. It would be interesting to see what differences this version gets from the previous one.

12:Slime Mutant:
It's a Skeletal humanoid ram creature thing... it most definitely needs an upgrade.

11: Merman:
The Revelation Naked one Eyed Merman doesn't count. I'm talking a 2 eyed armored Merman, like most of the figures have been for the past almost 40 years.

10: 200X variants:
This almost sounds like I'm cheating but hear me out. I'm not talking about making Masterverse 200x everyone, but making certain characters like say: He-Man, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, Adam, and Teela. With Adam and Teela being shorter than normal Masterverse figures. It would also mean  certain variants like Snake Armor He-Man, or Ambrosia Skeletor being made into toys. Also, 200X Grayskull would be cool to have.

9: Queen Marlena:
It would be interesting to see Randor and Marlena in New Eternia, but I KNOW a Randor WILL make it to Masterverse... only Neitlich, despite his apparent misogyny,  had a Marlena made. Whether we get a Revelation or New Eternia version of Randor, we need a Marlena to Match.

8: King He-Man:
We KINDA GOT a King He-Man with the Battle Armor Head from the new Eternia BA He-Man. But I want the whole ridiculous outfit for King He-Man including the taped up Technosword.

7: Eternos Palace Army:
Basically the Palace Guards with different ranks and designs.

6: The Netflix Series figures with NORMAL Masterverse proportions:
Note that I'm emphasizing NORMAL MASTERVERSE Proportions and not asking for Cartoon accurate looks. The recent releases of Masterverse Netflix Series He-Man and Skeletor are a huge disappointment, since they can't be properly displayed in Masterverse because of the stylistic choices. Think of the Classicizer approach and apply it here.

5: King Hsss:
Hopefully he could be a New Eternia thing or bring the 200X Hsss to masterverse.

4: Nate Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra:
This isn't about loving or hating that series. We ALL know where I stand here. But this is about bringing key characters on a Neo Etheria sub-theme. Of course there is a caveat:
Figures need to be in NORMAL MASTERVERSE Proportions and not in Cartoon accurate looks.
Meaning, say Fat Spinnerella, being fat but looking "realistic fat", not "CalArts fat". If these sell well, maybe Mattel could make a spin-off line compatible with the Netflix He-Man in scale.

3: Ram Man:
Whether it's Revelation or New Eternia, it's amazing that we haven't gotten a Ram Man. I kinda want to see what they're going to do for him.

2: Mega-Beast:
Since BOTH Modulok and Multibot have a Modular function, I'm putting them together, because it's better than taking 2 slots. With the Masterverse engineering, I have to wonder How Modular will they be.

1: Glimmer:
Of course I'm referring to her traditional Filmation form.

Yes, I'm well aware that I cheated on this list and made more than 20 characters/variants. At the same time I also had to tone down the amount of characters I was choosing because I found myself with nearly 30 picks. I had Wun-Dar, Slime Pit He-Man, Hydron, Flipshot, Flogg, Crita, Snake Mekaneck, Cringer... but I don't want to go crazy with Masterverse, sonce I still see it as an inferior line to MOTUC.

Oct 29, 2022

The downside of Cavill returning as Supes

 We won't be able to toss coins at his valley of plenty. Yup, you read that right... Geralt of Rivia will no longer be played by Mr. Save Martha...

Instead we get a New Geralt of Rivia played by...
The Ex Husband of Miley Cyrus!?What the Hell!? Sure, he's Thor's little brother, and he was in The Hunger Games, but it's funnier reducing him to Hannah Montana's ex. This change will start in Season 4... I of course expect massive backlash towards this. But then again, no one batted an eye when it was revealed that the show writers HATE THE SOURCE MATERIAL... both books and games.

Why in the hell would you work on writing an adaptation of something you hate!?

Guess that the show Might get the axe sooner than expected.



James Cameron is bitching again...

 I USED to have a lot of respect for James Cameron. Now, not so much. Ever since Avengers Endgame beat Avaturd at the nox office and Cameron whined his way to another temporary rerelease to beat Avengers, I lost most of my respect for him. Not to mention his endorsements to shitty Terminator sequels. Well, in order to promote Avaturd 2: Aquatic Boogaloo, here's Jimbo calling Superhero movies sophomoric with characters who behave like college kids.

His logic is incredibly flawed, of course, but to me this smells more like sour grapes because he never got to do his Spider-Man movie where Leonardo DiCaprio has bondage sex with nikki Cox on the Brooklyn Bridge and Otto Gunther Octavius is played by a guy who loves ejaculating everywhere... especially in the maid!!

Yes, Jimbo wanted Ahnuld as Doc Ock... also Kevin Spacey as Norman Osborn...


The Cameron movie also butchered Sandman and Electro. I mean Joel Schumacher levels of bad but with a Zack Snyder edginess for Spider-Man of all people... 

Based on the leaked Scripts on the internet, it's obvious that James Cameron doesn't understand Spider-Man. Hell, I'd say he doesn't get Superheroes at all.

"When I look at these big, spectacular films — I’m looking at you, Marvel and DC — it doesn’t matter how old the characters are, they all act like they’re in college," Cameron said. "They have relationships, but they really don’t. They never hang up their spurs because of their kids. The things that really ground us and give us power, love, and a purpose? Those characters don’t experience it, and I think that’s not the way to make movies."

This is a ridiculously dumb take. Your life is over once you have kids? So, using James Cameron's "logic" Policemen, Paramedics, Soldiers, and Firemen stop being Policemen, Paramedics, Soldiers, and Firemen because of family? What kind of moronic logic is that!? 

Because that's what everybody wants to see a movoe where Bruce Wayne hangs up the cowl and decides to be a father to Damian... or Captain America giving up the shield to raise a fami... wait, he did that in Endgame... or how about Iron man giving up his life so his kid AND PRETTY MUCH HALF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE had a chance to live. A movie about Superheroes not being Superheroes is literally the first act of The Incredibles. Am emtire movie being like the first act of The incredibles might be an interesting story, but not one that would bring tons of people to the theaters...

Flashy special effects with an incredibly simplistic story that has been told millions of times in much better ways can fill up seats... look at Jimbo's own Avaturd. Fern Gully with Furries is literally the box office king (with 4 or 5 rereleases). I for one won't see Avaturd 2 on theaters... Maybe I'll watch it when we play it at the electronics section at Kmart... oh wait, there are no Kmarts left in Puerto Rico... guess I'll wait until a friend buys it and watch it at their place to mock it.

I'd rather watch Fern Gully than Avaturd... hell, I'd rather watch The Last Airbender (the M.Night Shyamlamadingdong bastardization of ATLAB) than watch avaturd again... Nah, I'd rather watch Noelle, sorry Nate Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra AND Kevin Smith's bastardization of He-Man than watch Avaturd.

 

Oct 27, 2022

Super7 is making TNG figures...

 And I honestly don't know how to feel about these.

I mean, these digital renders look nice. They sure will be when the final figures are revealed, like the Silverhawks. Even in this digital render face, the only one that looks really good, is Whoopi Goldberg's character. The one character that I should be excited the most, Riker, played by Jonathan Frakes, is the worst looking of the bunch. It's an injustice to David Motherfucking Xanatos what they did to Frakes's toy form.

The accessories, as always, are the most interesting part of the figures. The only issue is that I wouldn't want to waste $55 just to get a trumpet and then another 55 bucks to get a violin. I suppose Jean-Luc Picard will come with the flute. Holy shit! Riker comes with a trumpet, data comes with a violin, if Picard comes with a flute, we could have a Next Generation themed band. 

Ugh! The only awful part of a TNG line is that we will get yet another figure of the insufferable douchebag and 'Nita supporter, Hwil Hweaton.

Also, why doesn't Riker have a clean shaven head? I wonder if Dr. Crusher still knows how to turn them on... not my words, Hwil Hweaton's.

The figures look nice, but not $55 nice. I... just... hope... THAT they... dON't do... Original? Series... FIgures...



Obvious exclusive variant is obvious

I  just found out that Jules Bass, from the Rankin/Bass duo passed away a few days ago. Super7 just teased us with a dead Thundercat... I am referring to The Spirit of Jaga...


Well played, Super7, well played. I wasted my money on Normal Jaga and knowing me, I'll try to get a spirit one for the same reason I have Stealth Tygra on preorder. Every single time I try to get out you motherfuckers find a way to get me back in... now if we could get Nudist Thundercats...

Oct 26, 2022

It came from the Toy Chest: we have an udea in how Tokka will look...

 

That is an unfair title, since it undermines Slash... but, I would expect Tokka to be released soon, due to parts reuse. The new pieces needed would be:
Head(s)
Hands 
Shoulders
Biceps
Belt Insignia
Movie accessories that weren't on the vintage toy. Everything else is donated from Slash...

So, SLASH... He's a Bizarro Turtle from Dimension X... allegedly a cannibal, since he eats other Turtles... in some continuities he becomes an anti-hero turtle. He's bigger and meaner... like Venom is to Peter Parker... his weaponry somewhat mimics and mocks the Turtles. The Butterfly knife mocks leo, the twisted sai, mocks Raphael, the Big mace mocks Donatello, and the spiked chucks mocks Michelangelo the black banadana is to show that he's bad to the shell.
Mysterious time traveler: Wait! This isn't 
An Advent Calendar. I'm not supposed to be here today!
Slash: You ain't a Toitle! You have a sword, we fight now!
MTT: Uh Slash, why must I fight you, we are
not enemies!
Slash: Shut up! Did we just...
MTT: Megaman 8...
Slash: Docta Wahwee approves. 


Articulation
Slash is similar but different than the turtles. First he's in a hunched posture, which chamges his head's orientation. This limits some movement. He cannot look to the sides properly, nor or down, despite having a decent range of articulation on the head. He can kinda look up. Some of his arm movement is limited by his shoulder armor and shell spikes, but his legs have a decent rain and he also has a swivel joint on his tail. 
4.5
MTT: Have at you, Snake... err Snapping Turtle!
Slash: Were you referencing Cam Clarke?
MTT: it's a multilayered reference...
Slash: Metal Gear, Leonardo, He-Man, even though you're using the wrong sword...
MTT: Hey! Using the Technosword would be too obvious! Also, Shenmue 3...
Slash: What does Shenmue 3 have to do with anything?
MTT: it's the only project where I can say I officially collaborated with Cam Clarke... from a certain point of view.
Slash: Kickstarter backers don't count...
MTT: THEY DO FOR ME!!
Slash: Owie!!
MTT: Wait... hitting your nunchuck hurt you, How!?
Slash: Sheah! Some Jenius thought adding spikes on the grip would make these more badass, but they hurt like hell!


Paint and sculpt
His skin tone is darker than his vintage figure. His belt is adorned with silver and black accents instead of being full pink like his vintage counterpart. The ninja stars and grenade from his vintage belt are removable. Just be extra careful with the grenade because chances are you're going to lose it anyway. Paintwise he's got some nice touch-ups and details and the only thing I'm slightly disappointed is that the ropes on his shoulder armor aren't painted. I had to take justice in my own hands with that. But that's a me issue...
5.0
MTT: Oh crap!
Slash: I'm loving this game Whack a Perv...
MTT: Two things... one: Whack a Perv makes it sound sexier than it really is... two: you whacking me is not something I would enjoy...
Can't we get April, Irma, or Kala from the Neutrinos to do that instead?
Slash: Why not Mona Lisa or Venus?
MTT: because I'm not a furry...
Slash: speciesist...


Accessories:
-The aforementioned shuriken and grenade from his belt that are new to him.
-A sword that is as twisted as its owner
-the aforementioned "dark weapons that mock each Turtle's discipline".
5.0
Slash: Slash Wins! Flawless Victory!!
MTT: Flawless!? You said Owie! When I hurt you with your own nunchuck!!
Slash: Do you want me to add Fatality to my victory?
MTT: Carry on... I wasn't supposed to be here today!
Slash: You keep making that Kevin Smith reference... do you want me to grape you for 2 long years?
MTT: Can we skip that reference and reach the "I cry for everything" Kevin Smith?


Overall
Slash gets a 4.83 as his final score. If he wasn't $55, I'd totally buy 3 more and repaint them to make "dark turtles"... genetically enhanced Slash clones:
Ringo, Dio, and Eddie... all named after members of rock bands. Ringo would get 2 maces, Dio the Butterfly knives, and Eddie the nunchucks. 
Thingy that will most likely get lost:
Grenade...


 There isn't much I can say about Slash other than they nailed it so hard! The figure Oozes attitude and I've been picking him up this past few days and just looking at him and tinker with him whenever I get the chance. I haven't felt like that with a figure for quite some time.

Oct 25, 2022

Remember the Mighty Morphin Miyagi Rangers?

 They're on sale now:

$28 for these:



Yikes! These make the awful Cobra Kai vs TMNT figures look like Masterpieces... These weak and pathetic cashgrabs are incredibly weak and pathetic... The Pink one doesn't look like Mary Mouser at all... the white one is supposed to be Ralph Macchiato kinda looks like the love child of Adam West and Burt Ward...

Also, why does Daniel LaRusso look like he joined the Klan?

If they had tampographed the design from Daniel's bandana on the hood, they could've broken the Klansman vibes that the figure has.
Yes, I'm well aware of the design of the Ninja Power Ranger look from the'90s. I also remember the videos removed from YouTube that had the White Ranger tiger power song changed into white power. They used the white Ninjetti Power Ranger as a Klansman.

If these were 23, maybe but at 28... hard pass! But at least they have extra heads and are cheaper than the 34 Street Fighters...

Oct 24, 2022

The new Doctor is Tougher than the Toughies and Smarter than the Smarties!?

 Life is like a hurricane here in the TARDIS...
Daleks, Master,Cybermen it's a Doc Blur...
Might solve a Mystery ir Rewrite History...

Tennant! Woohoo!
The 14th Doctor is apparently the 10th once more... But I thought they had chosen a black man who may or may not be gay to play the Doctor after Whitaker...
Apparently the Doctor of Color will be Tennant's replacement. Which is a load of bullshit. Why bring back Tennant just to quiclly dismiss him after 3 specials? It not only feels gimmicky as hell, but wasting a regeneration like that is awful... might as well had made Rupert Grint the Doctor so we could've checked the Ginger checkbox. Because it feels dirty that they're bringing Tennant back as if to say: Look, the Chinball era is over! We got RTD back and we'll have 10th and Donna... it almost feels as if the BBC is acknowledging that the Chibanll era was a disaster and they're righting those wrongs. Until the Doctor becomes black and possibly gay, which will bring down nerd rage that will be dismissed as racism because of black actor.
If the BBC had proper balls, they'd go straight to Ncuti Gatwa...

Oct 23, 2022

It came from the toy chest: I Gwarantee that I'll Git'er done!


 Leatherhead is finally here... You might have guessed that since, well... Krang got out of the Toy Chest.  Now it's Leatherhead's turn... right oit the bat, I got to say: I hate his human teeth and blond eyebrows... I won't mess with the teeth, but those eyebrows got to be "fixed"... so I painted them a slightly darker shade of green. 
it's not perfect, but it tricks my brain into not thinking that they're hair. I might need to do some touch ups later, but now he's more to my liking. He's a Cajun trapper/poacher gator from Florida... Don't question it, just go with the flow.
Unlike other continuities, here, he's a villain...

Articulation:
Mr. Head has some unique Articulation:
Hinjed Jaw and a ball peg on his tail are the unusual bits. Everything else is similar to a standard figure. The waist is a bit wobbly due to his weight. Standing like the vintage figure is hard to do without using an arm as a third point of contact with the floor. My figure has an unique QC quirk...
Leatherhead: Oh bother...

his right knee pops off. Unfortunately, I discovered this bit AFTER painting his brows and tinkering with him for quite some time. It doesn't fall off by looking at it wrong. It simply popped off while bending the knee for another attempt at the vintage pose. It pops back in with no issue.
4.0
Leatherhead: Ah deep in da hundred acre wood!
Where Christopher Robin plays!
You'll find da'nchanted neighborhood
Of Christopher's childhood daze!
A donkey named Eeyore is his friend
And Kanga an' Little Roo...
Dere's Rabbit an' Piglet and dere's Owl
But most of all Winnie da' Pooh!
Nefty VO: get it, because Leatherhead was voiced by Jim Cummings who also voiced Winnie the Pooh...
Leatherhead: you want to get dangerous... Let's get dangerous!!
Nefty VO: Ah! Ah!He also voiced Darkwing Duck!


Paint and sculpt:
Putting aside my preferences, the figure captures quite well the vintage look, while updating the articulation to Modern standards. Even the parts that I personally don't enjoy are updated in a nearly Flawless way.
5.0


Accessories:
Here he doesn't disappoint, but I feel like he could've been 20% cooler.
His vintage belt is non-removable but 3 things on it now are removable.
-the Crayfish
-the Snapping Turtle
-the Tobbaco leaves
These 3 come in an odd shade of red. I had to repaint mine because an all red turtle and tobacco leaves look wrong.
His pump action shotgun has real pumping action.
His bear (mutant turtle) trap has articulation... it's not functional but can be posed open or closed.
He even has a new fishing pole...
5.0
Leatherhead: Dis'ere lan' is naw good zone for Moe Tooks... Ah Gwarantee...
Nefty-kun: so i need to become a TMNTU to survive in here?
Leatherhead: Ah reckon...


Overall
Leatherhead gets a 4.67 as his final score. If I hadn't repainted him before discovering the QC issue, i would've contacted CS about it. But putting the issues on my figure aside, I kind of wish that they was a bit heavier so it could balance him well in vintage poses.

Oct 22, 2022

Odds and ends oct 22, 2022: Resident Evil 4, Mephisto, and stuff.

 


Que carajo estás haciendo aquí? Lárgate cabrón! It's the phrase ordered by Don Jose when Leon asks about Ashley's whereabouts... well, Capcom skipped Code Veronica and went straight to 4.


Not going to like, the trailer looks pretty good but, my only issue are the voices. I'm not feeling most of them. Okay I lied, there is another thing that is bugging me:

Ashley Graham. They totally nerfed the hell out of her... She looks late 20s instead of the bately under 20 look she had in 2004...
Also, I noticed the anti-fan-service tights AND the blazer hiding her reduced ballistics.

At least the gameplay looks interesting...

But at least my ears won't explode listening to Cindy Vortex yelling Leon!! HELP!!

Rumors of MCU getting their Mephisto are Scary...
Fucking Borat as Mephisto... I know, I know, never judge actors by past roles, they might surprise you... but still, it's fucking Borat as Mephisto.

I KNOW that Sacha Baron Cohen is a decent actor and could pull off the role, but now I kinda want Mephisto to sound like Fucking Borat.

Repainting some of Leatherhead's accessories before he can come out the toy chest... I will have the review up soon, Ah Gwarantee!!

It Came from the Toy Chest: He really needs an Android...

 Body... because he's Krang, the Megalomaniac Despot banished from Dimension X.


What can I say about Krang: in some continuities he's an Utrom. In his first appearance, he wasn't an Utrom, but he was turned into an Utrom-like form, before being banished from Dimension X. With his vast resources, Krang basically funds Shredder's activities with the Foot, using the ancient Ninja Clan as his pawns for World Domination. 

 Articulation 
Krang only has 2 or 4 points of articulation... his tentacles have a hinged ball joint... but he has a bubble walker and that has some more articulation.
The Bubble Walker has less articulation than as Standard figure, but that's expected.
It has a hinged ball at the hips, single joint knees, boot cut, and hinged ankles with slight rotation. The arm attachments have a bit less articulation than a normal figure, though.
The shoulders have a ball peg, that allows some limited shoulder articulation. The elbows have some weird range on a swivel, and the hands have a hinge and rotation.
Krang: Saaaaaaakiiiiii!! Maaaaake meeeeee a booooooodeeeeeeeee!!
Shredder: It doesn't work that way, you retarded octopus!
Krang: Saki! You can't say that word!
Shredder: What word!? Octopus!?
Krang: Nooo! The Other one?
Shredder: Which one? Retarded!?
Krang: Yeah, that one! It's an ableist insult!
Shredder: You are aware that we're evil... which means, I don't care if I offend people...
Krang: So if there was a Latino here...
Shredder: I'd call him a spic...
Krang: a Caucasian?
Shredder: Cracker...
Krang: Asian?
Shredder: You mean the yellows...
Krang: But YOU ARE ASIAN!!
Shredder: I Identify as black...
Krang: BUT YOU'RE ASIAN!!
Shredder: If Rachel Dolezal can do it, why can't I?
Krang: I might be evil, but I'm not a racist or ableist... please don't cancel me!!
Shredder: Pussy...
Krang: Did you just say that because I'm Pink!?
Shredder: Forget it! I can't make you a body because Super7 hasn't made one yet...
Krang: So my body is at the mercy of Super7?



While he has LESS articulation than a normal figure, Krang and the Bubble walker are pretty posable. My tiny nitpick is that his left leg is a bit loose. Not as loose as a politician's morals, but a bit far too loose than I can accept.
4.0
Krang: You're tearing me apart, Super7!!
Shredder: Oh no... you made a Tommy Wiseau Reference...
Krang: Ohai Saki!
Shredder: Stop it, Krang!
Krang: Let's go eat huh?
Shredder: For Pete's sake, stop!
Krang: Cheep cheep cheep cheep Cheeeeeeeep!
Shredder: You're going to awaken something you'll regret!
Krang: Anyway, how is your sex life?
Shredder: Urrrrrrrgh!


Paint and sculpt
Here Krang is King! He looks thick and veiny, two adjectives that can make people uncomfortable... and Krang is all about making others uncomfortable with his appearance. The Bubble Walker looks nice, though I'm not a fan of the silver coloring. Personally, I would've preferred a Gunmetal grey instead. I also wish there was a way to keep the "glass dome" in place.
5.0
Krang: Saaaaaaakiiiiii!! We're going to attack Super7 to get my booooooodeeeeeeeee!!
Shredder: It doesn't work that way...
Nefty VO: Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum... He'll fill your belly button with his cum...
Shredder: You have awakened him.
Nefty VO: I love you as a person, as a Human Bean... Ohai Krang! 
Shredder: Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world! Oh no! I have become one of them! Why, Nefty Why!?WHY!?



Accessories
Extra hands
Toon tripod
Gun
Bubble Walker 
Arm attachments 
Gun attachment
Hose attachment
Second Krang with alternate tentacles.
Despite being a much smaller figure, you don't feel ripped off at the $55 price tag. The amount of accessories it has are reasonable enough. Hell we get an extra Krang figure.
5.0
Krang: Saki!? Saaaaaaakiiiiii!! Where are you!? Are you coming back!?
Shredder VO: In a few minutes, bitch!
Krang: Did he just quote The Room back at me?
Nefty VO: Yup, he did...
Krang: But what about my body?
Nefty VO: Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!
Krang: WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE!?
Nefty VO: is this an Insane Clown Posse reference?


Overall
Krang gets a 4.67 as his final score. The loose left leg articulation was what made him lose some points. Not gonna lie, but this Krang was way better than expected. Hell, even the Idea I had about reusing Krang's legs and a modified walker for Fishface has potential. But, I haven't mentioned the elephant in The Room... and I ain't talking about the Tommy Wiseau film. 

The Android Body. Since Krang is a bit on the thicker side, the body needs to be big and that scares me. I wonder if we'll get a new Krang or two with tentacles that would fit inside the Android Body. I wonder if Super7 will use toon elements to enhance the Android Body or if we're getting a Bare bones release... all I know is that I should get ready for a huge price tag.

Update
Blu Tac is your friend. If you get the white equivalent, even better. Add 3 balls:
2 on the sides, as you can see on the pic and one at the base where you plop in Krang.
Now you can have Krang in the Bubble Walker WITHOUT him flailing around and the bubble walker opening up randomly.

And yes, I'm actually holding Krang upside-down.

Oct 21, 2022

Making a case for Super7 Mouser pack 2.0, a rant:

 I got my Wave 6 figures from Super7... I only bought Slash and 2 Mouser packs. I'm reviewong the Mousers for the Advent Calendar, because Slash will most likely be reviewed soon...

I'm torn with the Mousers. Once I got them in hand, they became more underwhelming than I expected. The Main reason is the lack of value for my money. Something that could be fixed with a NEW pack of Mousers. Here will be my suggestions:

While technically it's an accessory pack, it should be treated as a character:
To an extent, the accessories that the Mousers cone with are mostly NOT for the Mousers. Only one accessory was related to the Mousers, the controller. Everything else was not. Throwing random crap, willy-nilly is not a good idea.

Super7 might have to take a Look at NECA for their beaten up Mouser bits. While seemingly pointless, getting 3 NECA mouser packs can help sell an epic TMNT vs Mousers battle. With the multiple levels of damage on the little guys, the displays look more varied than the ones from Super7. A Mouser 2.0 pack could fix this issue.
Adding similar broken Mouser pieces as accessories for the 5-pack, could help sell epic battles. Maybe they could even look back at the Mirage Mousers that came with NECA Mirage April as an inspiration for massive battle damage that disables Mousers. 

Variety in the battle damage is a necessity!
The Super7 pack Mousers has 3 intact Mousers and 2 beaten up Mousers. The beaten up Mousers have a crappy slashed Tampo on the otherwise pristine torso. The head is a new sculpt with a series of gashes and holes that can only be achieved by Katana or Sai... where are the Mousers with blunt item damage!?

Again, looking at the NECA Set we can see that the Mousers have Blunt Force damage on the heads and bodies. So, a Mouser 2.0 Pack could fix this issue by adding new Mouser SculptS to the mix. I said sculpts, plural, because we can't keep milking the same sculpt and add new tampos... 

I mentioned blunt force trauma for the bodies, since slashing attacks wouldn't hide the toy engineering inside the Mousers. Also, it's a second Mouser body type for able-bodied Mousers. 

Should we go Modular with the Mousers?
I had thought of that, but I don't trust Super7 enough. Modularity would reduce the number of Mousers and I'd rather get 6 mostly able-bodied Mousers and enough Mouser parts to show that they once were 2 Mousers, than getting 2 or 3 at best Modular Mousers.

But at the same time we shouldn't completely ignore the modular idea. Maybe have one of the new battle damaged Mouser bodies with a removable leg to simulate heavier battle damage similar to the NECA Mirage April, but with the option of popping the leg back in to have a more able-bodied Mouser. That way, with multiple sets you can have more display options.

So, what would you do?
That is the question:
I can't go too crazy on the amount of Mousers due to perceived value... that is also another reason why I can't go super modular on all of them. 
I would start with 5 Mousers:
2 Intact (as the one from Baxter Stockman)
1 as the battle damaged from wave 6 but with different tampo on the torso.
1 new Battle Damaged Mouser with blunt force damage on the head and torso.
1 new Battle damaged Mouser using the blunt force damaged torso and the BD head from wave 6.
The Blunt Force damage torso has a single removable leg.

For accessories, I'd add:
2 BD heads on a broken neck
2 broken torsos with swappable leg*.
2 broken pieces that "complete" the mouser bodies.
*=The swappable legs would be broken Mouser Legs that can be used on the full Mousers with swappable leg.
Reuse the run over Mouser from the Party Wagon.

I kinda gave you a total of 8 Mousers with different degrees of damage using figure and accessories that are PURELY RELATED to the Mousers. No silly random accessories, just pure Mouser fun...

But the thing is that theoretically speaking, a 3.0 set COULD BE MADE. Like having a Mouser with dents that could fit a Hockey stick, one riddled with bullet holes or arrows that can be plugged in some of the holes. This set could come with other weapons suffering some battle damage, like a broken Bo staff or bent golf club. Maybe have a Mouser with shuriken stuck to it. There are plenty of possibilities and these could be used as a mini wave to promote army builders. That's what I'd try to do if I had the chance and the resources to do so.


Oct 20, 2022

Mattel is most definitely clueless.

 Virgil Abloh, Fashion Designer, friend of former Kardashian Kanye West has a "MOTU COLLECTION" that will be sold on Mattel Creations this Friday.


Figures molded in beige plastic... or dark brown in He-Man's case... at twice the retail price, of course, because they're honoring a dead fashion designer. Seriously, what the actual fuck!? This shit is a smidge better than Madsaki's garbage, but at the same time it's overpriced garbage... single colored redecos of existing figures is the laziest attempt at "art". 

If these were figures whose outfits had been designed by Virgil Abloh before his passing, they would be justified. Which brings me to the point of this rant: 

Mattel NEEDS TO STOP MAKING THESE lazy cashgrab "collectibles". These aren't for fans, these are for pseudo fans who deem these important due to the name attached and not because of MOTU.

I am going to suggest a far better solution:
Yes, it's a shameless copy of Neitlich's MOTU Anniversary wave in MOTUC, but slightly different:

Masterverse 2 packs where a guest artist or celebrity gets to Redesign a classic MOTU Character AND they get to create a new one. The only caveats are, no repeat characters and that they have to choose from wave 4 and beyond. (Just to avoid everyone doing He-Man, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, Teela, MAA, Beastman)
Let's say: Kevin Smith, since Masterverse is closely tied to Revelation...
Kevin Smith gets to redesign any MOTU Character and add a new one.
Let's pretend that Smith picked Snout Spout, so he has a new take on Snout Spout and the new character is based on his daughter. For copyright reasons she can't be called Harley Quinn, 

Stjepan Šejić could also be an option that would kick so much ass. Then just like Smith, Stjepan Šejić, picks, say King Hsss,  and makes a new Snakeman...

Then the final creator, say, uh, Ed Boon, makes a redesign for Ninjor, the Ninja Warrior and creates a new character.

3 people with different degrees of connection with MOTU:
Kevin Smith made a MOTU Cartoon
Stjepan Šejić: has made official MOTU art and has loads of MOTU Fanart
Ed Boon: has been trying to get Mattel to let him make a MOTU fighting game (and snuck in parts to make He-Man and Skeletor in MK:Armageddon)
So we have 6 characters AND a story can be told. Using New Eternia as a Template here's a possible story:
K.S's new character has in her possession an ancient relic that can revive the Ancient Ruler of the Snakemen, King Hsss.
Skeletor is looking to enhance the power of the Scimitar of Chaos with the ancient relic. In order to obtain the relic, he hires Ninjor to steal it for him. Unbeknownst to Ninjor, KS's character is friends with the deformed Gladiator known as Snout Spout. A warrior cursed by a technowizard that made him look like a monster. Now he fights in the arena of Choloh as a gladiator to earn his keep, as no one trusts him outside the arena due to his appearance. 

He-Man had gone to the Arena of Choloh because, he had heard rumors of mighty warriors fighting at the arena and hoped to find allies in his battle to stop Skeletor. At the Arena, he meets the wandering Weapons Master. MAN-AT-ARMS, who is studying Snout Spout's  technorganic body. A creature of Clawful's race (design inspired by the coconut crab), mind controlled by Skeletor attacks He-Man and Snout Spout. This was a distraction, so Ninjor could steal the relic. Unable to retrieve it, Ninjor kidnaps KS's character and takes her to a nearby Necropolis. 

He-Man, Snout Spout and Man-at-Arms give chase until they're stopped by EB's character, who is the last of the guardians who kept people away from the Necropolis, dubbed The Fright Zone, by locals. The Necropolis used to be a city controlled by the servants of the ancient demon, Hordak, who used technowizards that had mastered the links between tech and magic.
The guardian recognizes Snout Spout as a being imbued with Hordak's technorganic curse and attacks first, which Ninjor uses to his advantage.

Ninjor, after figuring out what the relic was, decided to betray Skeletor and use the relic's power to revive the Red Dragons, the original members of Ninjor's clan, who were Wereconids (humanoid dragons that could take human shape... most of them were obliterated by Hordak's acolytes at The Fright Zone alongside many Snakemen.)

He-Man convinced EB's character to stop fighting and to help them rescue KS's character. They head to the Fright Zone, closely followed by Skeletor, who sensed the possibility of betrayal. Once He-Man reaches Ninjor, Skeletor kills the ninja warrior, just to discover that it was a puppet imbued with the life Energy of the real Ninjor, who was safely hidden, miles away.
In the struggle, the relic activates and revives a couple of Generic Snakemen and SŠ's character, who wants to use the relic to revive King Hsss, whose serpentine body was reduced to a throne for Hordak's general that ruled this Fright Zone.

He-Man, Snout Spout, MAA, EB's character, and KS's character are forced to fight Skeletor, The not Clawful dude, the generic Snakemen, and SŠ's character. KS's character cheapshots Skeletor, forcing him to escape and leaving the Crabman to die. The Snakemen fall to their doom after Snout Spout finds some water to cut the floor beneath them
 Man-at-Arms figures out some of the Hordetech and uses it to destroy the relic. With it destroyed, SŠ's character becomes petrified once more. The heroes return home and unbeknownst to them the stone form of King Hsss begins to crack and the serpentine green I can be seen. The End.

The story to tie in the new characters should be told in 3 mini comics. One with each 2 pack.
In my example, I tied everything to Kevin Smith 's theoretical characters for the first act. On the Second act, I used Ed Boon's then for the Third act, I used Stjepan Šejić's to wrap up the story and set a cliffhanger for future characters.

The only reason not to follow this train of thought (having guests redesign characters and design new ones, then tell a story with those characters and existing ones) is quite simple: it requires too much work. It's easier to  take Teela release her in  white plastic with random flesh colored flecks of plastic and say it's an artistic collaboration, than this shit is a lazy cashgrab... because that is a load of bullshit...

But the MOTU Community loves to get fucked by Mattel... y'all want to get scalped by Mattel and buy any overpriced crap they throw at you... you already failed us all by supporting the overpriced Eternia. Y'all are 86 playsets short of getting the moat monster. Find 86 more suckers and whine in a few months when they screw y'all over.