Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
First, let me preface this rant with the following:
Superman is NOT my favorite Superhero. He set the standard.
While I enjoyed SOME of the DCEU, for the most part, I found it lacking. (Horribly butchering characters, making a deconstruction of Superman for the sake of world building, making Superman an antagonist/corpse for most of the story, among other things... the Pizza cutter vision of Hack Snydurr)
While, I do think that James Gunn is a much better director than Zack Snyder, he's not on my top 10 Comic Book movie directors. Steve Barron, Sam Raimi, Richard Donner, Oley Sassone is not on the list, due to his F4 (wrongfully attributed to Roger Corman) not having an official release. Gunn sits currently a few spots beneath Joss Whedon.
Aside the first teaser, I tried to avoid stuff regarding the movie, in order to see it without any preconceived ideas/expectations other than "please don't suck, because I want both Marvel and DC to thrive."
It's not going to be a play by play, but there will be Spoilers. So I'd recommend you watch the movie first, before reading.
Spoiler free mini review:
It was better than expected. Not a perfect movie, but an enjoyable one. It does many things MUCH better than Snyder, but other things are a bit cringe. 8.3 is what I'd give it in a 1-10 scale. People laughed, clapped, and I even got misty eyed at some scenes.
Now let's hit the jump to the mildly spoiler filled review.
To unite all peoples within our nation. Uh... Prince Onimaro from Injuu Seisen has passed away. He was James's second voice. He was also Meowth... so in a way Now Team Rocket Blasted off for the final time... Cancer is to blame. Cancer literally killed Team Rocket.
I hope Ms. Lililis receives Mr. Cathcart with that theme playing in the background.
As always, my condolences to friends and family...
Now, here's where I wax poetically about his work. I won't touch Pokémon.
He was Weevil Underwood in Yu-Gi-Oh! Baki in the 1994 version, wait, there was an Art of Fighting OVA!? But mostly Pokémon and a few hentai flicks under his belt.
Time for another filler rant, while waiting on Super7 news regarding TMNT, Dungeons & Dragons (which I'm having a bad feeling about... at least give us Diana before axing the line), Silverhawks, the rumored GI Joe transition to Deluxe...
So, let's see what I can cook up:
John Henry:
John Henry is a human Vigilante, who took inspiration by his namesake and fights crime with a pair of sledgehammers.
We're talking an African American Man, using the MOTUC body due to his ability to dual wield 20lbs. Sledgehammers with ease.
Visually, he should resemble a very young James Avery... with the Carlton hairdo.
He's sporting a Military undershirt,dogtags, USMC field pants and boots.
His right bicep has a few bullet scars. Also he has a tool belt with loops for his dual sledgehammers.
Heads:
Neutral
Angry
Shaved head to resemble James Avery wvwn more.
Accessories:
Sledge hammers
Turkey and mashed potatoes pizza slice.
Basically an Honorably Discharged Marine who returns home to Harlem and took up Vigilantism as NYC had become a crazy place with Mutants, aliens, Robotic Ninjas, in addition to normal criminals.
Castro:
A Mutant Bear who was turned into a Bear... I'll let you figure that one out.
Visually he should look like a humanoid Brown Bear wearing a Biker Vest with no shirt, a blue thong, black assless chaps. He sports a pendant with the gay triangle.
Heads:
Leather hat head
No hat head
Both heads have a handlebar mustache.
Hands:
Standard hands
Accessories:
Riding crop
Giant cucumber with a chunk bitten off.
Block of Honey fudge
Eduardo "Teddy" Castro is a Bear from San Francisco. Mutated into a Bear after being in contact with a Bear. Now he fights evil gaily, as a mutated mixed Martial Artist with 2 PHDs. He's stereotypically gay, but his entire personality isn't about his gayness.
Mister Morsa:
A humanoid Walrus wearing a beret and a white button up shirt.
Heads:
Open mouth
Closed mouth
Hands:
The usual hands
Body:
Think a Walrus themed Merman as in Male Mermaid, not the MOTU character. The Walrus would be wearing a white button up shirt and a Beret. His lower body is walruslike. His lower body should have joints that allow the Walrus body to somewhat stand upright a la scaletail.
Accessories:
Potato gun
Erlenmeyer flask Molotov
Pointer rapier
Seth the Sea Otter little buddy with a 2025 James Gunn Hairdo and facial hair.
Yes, I just wanted a Jamie Hyneman ersatz figure. So,high school (Science) teachers, Hyman Morsa and Seth Wilde turned into mutated animals when an excursion to an Aquarium went wrong due to Ooze. Hyman Morsa and Abel Wilde were turned into a Foot Fighting Science Educator Duo.
Kaiin Mashuu: the Tengu Warrior of East Village
A Japanese Blind Swordsman along the lines of a modern day Zatoichi..
Heads:
Neutral head (dark cataract glasses)
Screaming head (dark cataract glasses)
Angry head (No glasses)
Head Sporting a Tengu Mask.
Body sculpt:
Picture a Japanese Businessman. White collar shirt, tie, blazer, and slacks. Nothing seems off with him aside the dark green hair and scarring around his eyes.
Hands:
Standard hands, energy Drink bottle holding hands
Accesories:
Briefcase with Braille Documents and Energy Drink bottles
Blind walking stick with hidden sword
Sansetsukon modeled after a different walking stick for a blind person.
Kaiin-san Shares an origin with the Turtles. Remember the kid that got hit in the head with the Ooze canister when he stopped a blind man from getting ran over? Well, that wasn't the only canister dropped. A young Japanese Teen got hit by an Ooze canister theat exploded all over his face, causing him legal blindness. And other mutations. Superhuman hearing, Superhuman smell, mild healing factor, enhanced strength, speed,and agility, infrared sensing, and echolocation. Fun fact: he uses the tengu mask do hide his identity, but everyone in his neighborhood in East Village KNOWS he's a Vigilante and humor him. (It's a parodic nod to DareDevil, but with a Regain reference... Japanese Businessman)
Oozekappa:
A Japanese Mutated Turtle whose Mutation resembles the Kappa of Japanese Folklore.
Visually we reuse the Slash body with a new shell, Belt, hands and feet. (Hands and feet would be Tokka's) the new belt would be based on a fundoshi. The shoulders would be like Tokka's. The new shell would be a spikeless Slash shell.
The heads would be new:
Think Tokka's but with hair and an indentation for Ooze.
One head snarling, the other open mouth.
Hands:
Usual hands
Holding a Shirikodama (soul pulled out the ass)
Accessories:
Cap to cover the dimple
Cucumber (reuse Castro's)
Bone Chucks.
Charleston:
A Mutant mandrill made out of a gang banger.
Heads:
Neutral
Screaming
Hands:
Usual
Body sculpt:
A humanoid Mandrill wearing a sleeveless grey Hoodie, ripped blue jeans with various chains hanging by the side of a thick studded belt. And cowboy boots acting as spats, since the mutated mandrill handset can't fit in normal cowboy boots.
Accessories:
Switchblade
Desert Eagle
Shotgun (reuse Leatherhead)
Gang banger turned into a Mutant Mandrill in an attempt to get revenge on the Foot, instead, became a toadie to Shredder.
Boogie-Woogie:
A Mutated humanoid Raccoon. Sporting a blue pleather vest with white T-shirt and brown leather pants. He has more chains than Mr.T and punk armbands.
Heads:
Snarling
Cocky
Hands:
Usual hands
Lockpicking hands (left hand with Turner sculpted, right hand with wave rake sculpted)
Accessories:
Crowbar
Knife
2× Smoke Grenades one normal the other one exploding and releasing smoke.
Garrote
Silenced blaster
As you can see this, pilfering purple dragon turned Raccoon is the breaking and entering expert of the group.
Agent Switch:
Female Human looking Mutant. Main difference is the Skin Color. It would be Thermochromic, think Zartan. She's sporting a leather catsuit like Emma Peel. The idea is to keep the Thermochromic plastic to a minimum.
Heads:
Normal skintone (pale skin, blonde hair)
Transformed skintone (red skin and hair)
Thermochromic head
Hands:
Standard gloved hands
Climbing Claw gauntlets (normal hands with a set of futuristic cat claws)
Accessories:
Whip
Escrima sticks
Tranquilizer rifle
C4 bomb
Silenced gun
Machine gun
The idea is to have a Hulk/Black Widow parody. A Government Agent/Spy who has a split personality that manifests with physical side effects. The Base Personality is a person of peak physical condition and higher than average intelligence. When her transformation is triggered, her strength and intelligence increase to beyond human levels, also her violent and sadistic tendencies come to the surface. The reason she's on the "bad guys side" is because the government is against Mutants. Also her real name is Peyton Marie Steele... PMS... she turns red. You get the idea.
And there you have it:
8 characters. The hardest part was coming up with some names.
TMNT × SbtB. We had Cobra Kai, Street Fighter, Stranger Things...
This line-up would be on the 6-inch scale BUT will feature new sculpts for the turtles:
Essentially the Remastered Turtles with New heads:
Don, Mike, Raph using the Wacky Action head expressions. Leo using the Storage shell head expression... all remastered with the bumps and stuff. That way, the turtles are shorter than the humans... but Playmates can feel free and make new thighs and biceps to add slightly more articulation. In fact redo the whole legs.
For the SbtB folks they would be new sculpts:
These would be the looks I'd go for the guys:
Slater's was specifically chosen since it would be a Repaint of the Casey sculpt with new forearms and feet.
For the ladies:
Lisa's outfit was chosen for a reason: it would be a reuse of the April sculpt. Yes, the April for this Crossover would be a version inspired by the Ravishing Reporter version. Of course, this would mean that Lisa would be a wave 2 release... just like Slater.
Wave 3 would be the final two turtles and Bayside students.
Accessories are easy:
Turtles:
Signature weapons
Casey:
Removable mask, bat
April:
Mic, Camera
Zack:
Cellphone, plastic lifesize Kelly Kapowski standee.
Kelly:
Duffel bag with implied baby brother inside, bat.
Jessie:
books. I wanted caffeine pill bottle, but they would say no.
Lisa:
Shopping bags,
Screech:
Spaghetti sauce flask, wired microphone
Slater:
Shoebox with dead lizard
The premise is simple: Burne sent April as an undercover reporter to a school in California where an Alien sighting allegedly happen. (Reference to the Season w episode: Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind). Casey tags along because he can use this as a chance to relive the glory days, since in California 15 year Olds look like 32 year old has-beens. (Reference how teens are played by really old adults)
The lineup could be expanded with Mr. Belding, Tori, other teachers, and get some TMNT folks that aren't necessarily Turtles, Splinter, Shredder. For example, a Burne and Mr. Tuttle could share a lot of body parts... but the hidden evil reason is a Max vs Pizzaface pack.
With the looming threat of GTA 6 coming, my mind has been thinking of Open World games. Only one license kept popping Up: Teenage Mutant (something) Turtles.
I know what you're thinking: where's the Ninja in TMNT? Why did I purposely leave it blank?
This is the reason. The Turtles are also known as Heroes instead of Ninjas.
So, the whole premise of the game literally hangs on Ninja or Hero for the Turtles. Think RDR2's honor system. I'm thinking of a TMNT game that would operate on Manhattan both Above and underground. PLUS the Northampton farm and surrounding woods area.
The game's continuity should be a brand new one as a hybrid of Mirage and 1987, in addition various other sources sprinkled in. Like say: the Introduction/Tutorial is based on TMNT 1 culminating with the apparent death of Shredder. Here the Turtles start with red bandanas, beating up thugs from The Purple Dragons, until they face off Shredder. Then we get the Mousers, the TCRI incident and hinting to the Return of Shredder before everything takes a more Mature take on 1987. (The D'Hoonib stuff will unfortunately, be relegated to DLC, among other stuff. A "Miles Morales" styled expansion game based on the Punk Frogs is in the cards as well.) Mission Replay will involve Renet. (If possible a Turtles in Time inspired DLC featuring Renet would be made)
The conclusion to the game would be infiltrating the Technodrome, facing Krang and the Cyber Shredder.
Intended bosses:
Purple Dragons (Hun Mason, Rocksteady, Bebop, among others)
Shredder
Baxter Stockman's Mouser mob
Casey Jones
Skonk and his CRAP
Rat King
Pizza face
Fly Baxter (not Mirage Stockman, but his adoptive brother, based on the 1987 toon)
Mutated Bebop and Rocksteady
Scaletail
Slash
Traag
Granitor
Cyber Shredder
Krang
D'Hoonib DLC Bosses
Triceratons
Federat
Stone Warriors
Punk Frogs Bosses:
Nightwatcher
Leather head
Anthrax
Robotic Bebop and Robotic Rocksteady
Scratch
Dirk Savage
Ch'rell
Mini Shredder
Claw Shredder
4 arm Shredder
Worm Shredder
Null
There would be other characters involved including new Mutations to fight.
But back to the "honor system."
The idea is that going more "Ninja" by relying on Stealth, operating mostly at night, avoid NPCs, would keep the Turtles more Mirage-esque. But on the other hand, going out by daylight, openly fighting in view of civilians, relying on flashiness, would tilt the scale towards Hero. When Vehicles become available, the Hero or Ninja status is more obvious.
Ninja:
Generic Van.
Hero:
Party Wagon
Post D'Hoonib DLC:
Neutrino Cruiser.
Some missions would have different cutscenes, objectives, and approaches, depending on your status.
For example:
The final Mission to infiltrate the Technodrome changes cutscene, starting point and objectives depending your status:
Ninja: infiltrate from underground.
Hero: Use the Turtle Blimp and Rappel from the blimp. April or Casey will be the pilot.
Renet's Mission Replay would allow you to play the missions from the opposite status, ie: you beat the Mission first as Ninja, now you can beat it as Hero.
On free roam, each Turtle goes out on their own and you.can occasionally catch up woth one of your brothers and do tandem missions/challenges. Each trutke would have their own individual missions. For example:
Mikey has Skateboarding checkpoint races, Raphael has Brawl challenges, Donatello has bomb defusing challenges, and Leonardo has Stealth Challenges.
Yes, it's a Dissidia reference... like I was going to start with the big guns.
I'm talking about Goliath's voice actor. We'll, he got his star on Hollywood's walk of fame.
Meanwhile IGN, doesn't even mention his two biggest voice roles. They talk his iconic live action role on John Carpenter's The Thing. They mention Mass Effect, Halo, Saints Row, Destiny 2, but don't mention that he was THE voice of Spaw. All the way to MK11. Or Gargoyles. Fuck IGN, but congrats to Mr. DAVID.
D doctor El: The Third most Racist Character after Pancho Villa Michelangelo, Native American Leo. Or is it 4th, since there's Nazi Bebop. So he's uh... Problematic.
El. This pipsqueakin' pachyderm used to be a pesky pygmy. Then Shredder went on safari to steal subjects from the jungle for an evil experiment. Shredhead was impressed with Doctor El's witch doctorin' ways - so he went the way of the Ooze.
That's from the figure's description card.
Seriously: pesky pygmy just by quoting this I'm feeling like I'm getting canceled.
Shredder went on a safari to steal subjects from the jungle. I know he's a villain and villain do villainous things, but it's current year and unless his backstory, Super7 would be canceled faster than a speeding bullet.
Shredhead was impressed with Doctor El's witch doctorin' ways...
Yeah, the Racism keeps piling up!
I know using current year standards for 30 year old media is bullahit, but current year would get Dr. El canceled.
First we change the title from witch doctor to Sangoma. That's the South African equivalent of Shaman. Couldn't find the Central African word, since Pygmies are from Central Africa. So let's change the pesky part. Dammit! Can't do it. What I mean is Yoda was pesky when he was hiding his Sage status. So did Rafiki. Even Miyagi hid his wisdom while making LaRusso think he was just a sneaky old man exploiting a minor. It's the whole colonizer language used on the description. Oh god! I sound like a feminist basket weaving gender studies degree student. But all of this is just bullshit to mentally prepare you for some horrible news:
The character, as is, cannot be made today. It requires a rather large redesign.
Main issue is the Halfway transformation thing... Most Doctor El figures I've seen have various degrees of brown skin painted on.
It's not like Scumbug or Baxter where the separation between man and Mutated animal is well defined. It almost feels like someone at Playmates realized that painting a half Elephant half African Slave was a bad idea. (See his left ankle.There's a shackle.) So, for the sake of modernization, SOME changes have to happen...
The only solution is going full anthro Elephant. Both of his hands will be more human-like while his feet are full elephant and so would be his entire skin. The reason is to reduce the slavery connotations WITHOUT altering the design too much. Unlike the previous figures, there will not be any alternate human foot or Elephant hand. Obviously the unpainted parts would be painted this time. His tail would be a separate piece
He will have a single head with various trunks:
Vintage based, relaxed trunk, raised up, and holding a pepperoni slice to eat it. Since filecard says he likes pizza.
He gets the usual hands:
Both c-grips
Fists
Dramatic
For accessories he gets the mask in realistic colors
The shield and spear in realistic colors
The bonechuck in realistic colors
Chewing herbs
Small granite mortar and pestle
There's the theoretical Doctor El. The problem is Why?
I'm just trying to make one of the most Racist characters viable. In Doctor El's case was adding Symmetry to obfuscate the original's unintended racism. Using new accessories to get closer to the herbalist nature of shamans and moving away from the wholeYeah...
Also, since his human form would've been no higher than a Thunderkitten, his Mutated form should be barely taller than April... because Pygmy.
After the second 2003 wave, we're supposed to see a vintage inspired wave. My question is where do we go from here?
Aside Ultimates, having an E-tailer exclusive Deluxe series (meaning figures available ONLY on Super7's website, Amazon, Entertainment Earth, and BigBadToyStore) to avoid Playmates getting flustered by "retail competition".
For example:
Turtles:
They'd be in Playmates colors with brown pads , bandoliers, and wristbands but with Mirage red bandanas. Using the heads from first release Turtles you can have vintagized 2003 or homage to Ninja action Turtles.
Up to 2 new accessories in addition to their standard weapons: no EXTRA heads or hands.
Leonardo:
Slash effects that can fit on other katanas
Donatello:
Twirling Bo staff effect
Raphael:
Thrust effect sai
Michelangelo:
Vintage versions of the ultimates 2003 nunchaku.
I will mention some core characters that could get a refresh:
Splinter:
Using the Flocked Splinter sleeved robe on a vanilla Splinter body (Playmates colors) and for accessory the cartoon cane. The only new piece would be a cartoon inspired head.
Shredder;
Repaint in a Mirage inspired palette.
Foot Soldier:
No repaint
For accessories: 2 Random Foot Soldier or Ninja rack weapons. Maybe an old weapon and a new weapon each wave should have a foot Soldier and with each wave a change in the sculpt is added: for example:
Wave 1: pristine
Wave 2: Battle damaged arm guard
Wave 3: comes with a robot hand and the Toy based endo head
Wave 4 is a rerelease of the bd Foot Soldier with the Alpha-One head.
Rocksteady:
Toon inspired outfit repaint. Skin should match s7 ultimates
New bandolier with knife sheath.
Bebop:
Toon inspired head and outfit repaint with new Toon inspired glasses. Skin should match S7 ultimates.
Casey Jones:
"Original" Repaint:
Bone white mask
Light blue gray crop top
Dark blue grey sweatpants and black sneakers with white accents
Accessories:
Golf bag
Single bat
New sledge hammer
Rasputin the Mad frog:
Genghis body with tongue head and brown eyes.
Repainted Genghis body:
Same skintone:
Silver necklace
Silver watch
Fuchsia anklet
Purple and magenta pants
Orange shirt with purple, Fuchsia and Magenta accents
New pieces:
Archery hand and bow.
Reuse Karai arrow.
April:
She needs more than an overhaul. But since it's supposed to be a fix for April v1, doing it through here is a reasonable idea.
Using a new Torso and crotch inspired by the First Appearance look from Mirage, a new removable belt and new lower legs, we can make a Toon inspired April that has pre-made parts for a Mirage April (combining Ninja April upper arms with April 1.0 lower arms, we create the Mirage long sleeved look. New lower legs would seal the deal. A New head with a better cartoon likeness, the skin tone of April 1.0 AND compatibility with the Older April 1.0 heads and we're done here.
Microphone and Camera would be her accessories. Reuse Ninja April Camera and mic.
Triceraton:
A repaint of the Triceraton inspired by the Shogun Triceraton. With wristblade and blaster as accessories.
New Variants:
This could be a way to release B-Ball Turtles to match Slam Dunkin' Don. Or Undercover Turtles to Match Raphael... but I wanna go Homebrew... Let's see what I can cook with:
Vigilante Turtles:
Leonardo:
Leo head
Sewer Samurai Torso and legs. The gold is now blue grey and the blue parts are now navy blue. The thigh armor is now navy blue as well as the shinguards. Vanilla Leonardo arms.
Accessories:
Soft goods blue grey Trenchcoat
2× NEW tonfa about the size of his swords
The idea is to have Leonardo act as a modern day samurai. The reason for the Tonfa is that he's going for non lethal weapons.
Donatello:
Don Head
Slam Dunk Don Torso, Punker Don legs and feet.
Dark purple shirt, grey pants, Black Boots
Wanderer Leo Arms
Accessories
Bo staff
UC Raph soft goods grey Trenchcoat.
Raphael:
Raph head
Slam Dunk Don Torso (Blue shir red pants)t
Rapping Mike Legs and feet (red pants black knee pads, white sneakers)
Accessories:
2× Casey Bat
Basically Raph cosplaying as Casey.
Michelangelo:
Rapping Mike hat head (orange hat), Legs, and Feet Orange sneakers)
Slam Dunkin Don torso
Wanderer Leo Forearms and elbow pads. Rapping Mike hands with Silver bling.
Accessories:
1× Nunchuck
Essentially Michelangelo cosplaying as a Videogame Beat-em' up character (inspired by Double Dragon) with a hint of fighting game (KoF).
Other characters, like Shredder Elite could be made out of Foot Soldier with a new head and Halberd.
Personally, I might have a controversial take now... using the Deluxe to release supporting characters that don't necessarily NEED Ultimates amount of pieces:
For example:
Tiffani
Tang Shen
Oroku Nagi
Claw Shredder Clone
Mirage styled Fugitoid.
Hell, even Burne, Vernon and Irma could be made as Deluxe figures.
But then here's the kicker: Super7 could release a huge accessory packs to plus up these figures.
Say: we get Deluxe Vernon, Burne, Irma, and Tiffani. Then Super7 releases a $65 "upgrade pack" with extra hands, heads, and accessories to turn Delixe into Ultimate.
The Turtles could get such pack, so on and so forth.
Then again, there is also similar characters... kinda like what I did with Rasputin. For example: Super7 makes an Ultimates Traag, but they engineered alternate shoulders and neck piece to make Granitor when tooling Traag's molds. This would be made for the Deluxe Release of Granitor. This would require Super7 to plan ahead. Based on the voices of fired employees due to Tariff-man, planning ahead may not be a strong suit there.
Simpler solution: repaints and army builders should be the recipients of Deluxe treatment.
Wait... Jessica Alba, Charmed, Nip/Tuck... one of these things is not like the others.
Norman Osborn? Now I'm confused.
Oh, OH! Fantastic Four! That's the Jessica Alba clue! Also, doesn't the water on the Flipper logo look like a pair of buttcheeks with the buttcrack hovering over the pp? The Norman Osborn thing is because in the F4 movie Julian McMahon is ripping off Norman.
My condolences to friends and Family. Now here would be the part where I fondly reminisce of his work and wax poetically. Not this time. I have zero fond memories of Mr.McMahon... not the WWE guy, the actor who played a shitty Doom... mainly due to a shitty script. My brother is the one who religiously watched Charmed, so he could wax poetically about Cole.
I haven't seen Ironheart... it's no secret that I'm not a fan of Riri Williams. Not in the comics, nor in BP2: Guakanda por siempre. Title written in Spanish so the Loveless Child can understand. So, yeah. I still have to watch Ironfart on Disney plus...
Getting distracted. No. I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. Again.
I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. It's how the character was written, where I have issues.
When she started she was a caricature of an entitled social justice warrior. Her origin seems almost like a supervillain story. She even became a Latverian Dictator for like 5 minutes. She sounds like a badly written fanfoc character.
What?
Nothing. As I was saying: Ironheart revealed a HUGE Marvel Villain.
If we follow the comics, Tom Holland renounced Zendaya in order to save Marissa Tomei.
That's right. Mephisto is now Ali G. Shit, I gotta watch Ironfart now.
Wait, don't tell me the kid from Free Willy died. Wait, why is Haley Joel Osment playing GTA 3? GTA 3, Free Willy... what's the connection?
Holy shit, it's Michael Madsen... My condolences to friends and family.
What can I say about Michael Madsen? I mean, all I know him from is literally Free Willy, GTA 3, and Kill Bill... forgot Reservoir Dogs and that one random Episode of CSI Miami, Quantum Leap, amd Miami Vice... yes, I had to look for those on imdb... I mean I wasn't going to sully his memory with Driv3r.
First he lost Willy, then he lost Randolph, now he loses Glenn... poor Jesse.
Suddenly I want to watch Free Willy... the original, not the Bindi Irwin reboot.
So, these Ultimate Civilians, don't necessarily NEED to be attached to the Wrestling line.
Babies!
Hear me out. We need Babies.
Why Babies?
They are easy to make: blanket body with swappable heads.
Each baby could be sold with a stroller...
Maybe even make a Car Seat version to use on the SLAMMOBILE or the Lucha Low Rider . Of course they'd need photo mounting putty.
Prisoners:
I already mentioned the Police. So let's add the Prisoners.
For the most part, these would be Loosely inspired by the Luthor linked above.
Best case scenario, we get new feet and new crotch but let's assume the worst case scenario and use the Referee bodies.
We have bodies for 4 different Prisoners.
The Fat body would need new legs and feet for new Prisoners an alternate upper Torso could yield a female big body.
Children and teens:
I've mentioned more parts for the kids, still applies here.
For teens, I think 6 inches is reasonable for boys and maybe whatever height the MOTU Origons figures are for the girls.
Business and office people:
Bank tellers, office workers, secretaries, in-office messengers, etc. This would require some new parts for the ladies. But let's get the easy ones out: Men!
Between the announcers and the cameraman, they have bodies for various levels of formality... tie, no tie, blazer, no blazer.
BTW the Boxing Referee gives us the bowtie for the ones who think
That's 12 variations... or more if we get more skintones.
Women are harder as they require new parts, between body parts and overlays.
Mainly 2 new upper torsos:
-Bare featureless breast Barbie body
-Turtleneck Torso with uniboob.
The current Bra body won't work great for this environment.
Assuming the Lisa shoes work on the Female Referee legs, we put the Lisa Arms and a blazer overlay on the Referee body. Pop a new head preferably a slightly older looking lady with the "karen" hairstyle, not to be confused with Kid Karen's pageboy style.
Pink shirt, white blazer and pants. You got a character.
Using the "Barbie torso", the female announcer dress in a different color with the Lisa legs and a new head and you have a new civilian.
Using the Turtleneck Torso, Amber's skirt and legs you have a new character.
In a previous rant I mentioned criminals. We can expand that.
Gang members:
The Hunter and Brad Overlays help sell the crook look. Even the Eugene blazer could help.
New overlays that could be used are: denim vest, leather jacket, or bomber jacket.
Make some angry faces. Add the crook masks and gun available at FTC. Make a few new accessories and boom.
There are multiple combinations that can be used on non criminals as well. For example the Hoodie can be made long sleeved or sleeveless. Even the sleeveless hoodies can be worn with long or short sleeve undershirts. The leather jacket can be "turned" into a leather vest if it's sleeveless. There are options.
The fat body would require new legs and feet to become criminals. Shirts and sandals won't cut it.
Between the Normal female body and the Referee body, with some creative overlays and heads; female gang members can be made.
Point is there's a plethora of options to explore.
I noticed That this game was free on the PS store. It's a sort of prequel to Final Fantasy XV. So I said to myself "Self; We regrettably have to play this game." Why did I say regrettably? Because It showcases the incompetent Way that Final Fantasy XV was made. A full game shouldn't require 3 mandatory story. Chapters to be hidden by DLC. It shouldn't require a movie and anime prequel. It also shouldn't require a glorified mobile game prequel.
It's a good thing that this this game adds nothing of value to the story.
To be fair this was a preorder bonus later made available to all. I just noticed it when I was checking if the NES era Final Fantasy games were on sale.
I stand corrected, I must play the online multi-player FFXV Comrades for this game to add something of value.
It's a somewhat fun little game. Somewhat short, but OK for an added freebie. Maybe Square Enix should look at games like these to expand some "incomplete" games.
I mean, expanding the Laguna story for FF8 would be a nice start.
Also, I hate this rendition of Man with the Machinegun because it capture Laguna perfectly... and reminds me of someone I know.
Not gonna say any names but it's me... except the getting all the chicks part. Age has killed the little game I had. But settling down kids and a white picket fence is not my thing. Eating Vorn Flakes at 3 AM whole watching 8ps movies is more of my thing. See? I lost my train of thought.
Pic from my box. It's in Spanish so you know it's sourced locally.
IGot the fantastic four pizza from Little Caesars. It tasted like a Little Caesars pizza. But I have complaints. Gee, what else is new?
Before I get unto the nitty gritty, my pizza had a pale bottom. We could be the pale bottom twins. If I have to use a pizza steel to reheat the pizza to get some tanned bottom on the pizza, you failed. But to be fair it happens at times to all pizza chains.
Good thing Ben was born normal and became The Thing as an adult. If you know Jew know...
Putting Ben Grimm's foreskin jokes aside, he is of the Jewish faith. Little Caesars is most definitely NOT Kosher.
$10.⁹⁹ in Puerto Rico + taxes.
Also, Ben wouldn't be able to eat this pizza.
Pepperoni on one side, Italian Sausage and Bacon on the other. Jews can't mix meat and dairy, but the most offensive meat to them is Pork, because it's unclean as fuck! What I'm getting at is that each quarter of the pizza represents A member of the fantastic four.
Sue is pepperoni because she likes the Richards Sausage (and Namor's, and T'Challa's. Hell, she even tried using Parker to make Richards jealous.)
Johnny is similar to Sue's because siblings. His has Jalapeños because he's Flamin' on! Not sure about the Pepperoni though. Are they saying the new non-womanizing Johnny is gay? Spoilers maybe?
Then Reed has Italian Sausage and Bacon. Maybe the sausage is a nod to Victor's scarring and how his face ended up looking like spam after he put the hot Doom armor? The Bacon is his inability to save Ben.
Ben is plain cheese because he can't have the best pizza toppings due to his Jewish faith.
Don't get me wrong.It was a decent pizza for a Little Caesars.Pizza; it just doesn't make sense for the fantastic four... from a comic book nerd perspective.
We're adding Alpha stuff to this mess. Seriously, this movie is scaring me with all the crap being revealed. Yes, the 90s movie had wrong nationalities... like Native American Sagat, MexiKen, and Filipino-American Akuma
But at least the actors resembled their characters! So far the only Good Casting choice I've seen is Jimmy Momoa. Blanka's real name is Jimmy.
But no cast choice has surpassed the awfulness of ugly ass Taboo as Vega in The Legend of Chun Li.
They're the vanilla Turtles with "cel shading" and toon-inspired colors. It's the epitome of laziness, or Tuesday for Playmates toys.
The main issue to me is that these are the exact same Turtles from the Ultimate edition of the game. I'm not gonna lie, the set looks pretty good. Problem is that it doesn't fit with the existing toys.
Playmates needs to stop ⅛assing things. If they wanna do vintage releases or vintage styled releases, they need to put some effort into it. New sculpts compatible with the old toys would be a start.
Seriously, the vanilla Turtles with newer headsculpts or reuse some of the wacky action, storage shell, or talking turtles but them painted in toon colors could work.
Rocksteady in toon colors with the wacky action head and a new bandolier would be an enticing new release. Bebop with a new head and toon accurate glasses would be enticing.
Ninja April head, crotch, and Torso with the Mitsu arms and legs a vintageized Karai can make. Boom new character.
Genghis repaint with Splinter bow a Rasputin can make
Napoleon repaint with Panda Khan are an Attila can make.
Repainted Traag limbs on a new Torso with head a Granitor can make.
Toon accurate repaints of Burne and Irma are a no brainer.
But you know what I'd kill for? A Prototype accurate Pizzaface.
This is Kristine Kreuk all over again... that's Callina Liang, another scrawny Canadian Actress playing Chun Li. She's got more of a Cammy, Karin, or Sakura physique than Chun Li...
2026 is looking like a year of sucky adaptations of things I love.
This announcement came following the talls about the Malcolm in the .Middle sequel sans Dewey. Guess Frankoe Muniz must be desperate for cash.
When Wilykat and kit are pretending to be the most helpful they're dropping on the pile of loot Now and not November... why am I angry at getting Thunderkittens earlier? Because they screwed my toy funds to buy the Fright Zone. Which BTW is dropping in 6 days. $92 + S&H...
Good God, Tekken live action is AWFUL! It makes king of fighters and MORTAL KOMBAT ANNIHILATION Look good. I have.
To be fair, the fight scenes are decent. But the acting makes porn look like Shakespeare.
Yeah... while Mom would've enjoyed Crowe, because she's a fan. I can't speak on how we both dozed off with Gladiator and Robin Hood. It could be a Ridley, Scott thing, But it could also be a Russell Crowe thing. I didn't fall asleep in Thor: Love and Thunder, I can watch Virtuousity, Proof of Life, and The Quick and the Dead without falling Asleep.
That's my brain when it read the following:
How the Highlander remake will update the story for modern audiences, as well as additional casting information, remains under wraps for now. However, Stahelski previously told Collider: "We’re bringing it forward from the early 1500s in the Highlands to the beyond present-day New York and Hong Kong. There’s big opportunity for action… and it’s a bit of a love story — but not how you think.”
In other words it sounds like Macleod and Ramirez or Macleod and Kurgan will be Gay. In any case that's a wait until screaming thing.
Not a Port, which makes the question: "Is the War of the Lions stuff coming yay or nay?" A LOT MORE Relevant. What I mean, is that they LITERALLY had no source code to work on the game so they had to remake the game from scratch. If they had to redo EVERYTHING from scratch, then it should be eady to implement the WotL characters and extra battles. But this also opens up another can of worms.
Games will be lost forever of they're not preserved via emulation of the legal kind. Even Emulation is problematic as games from certain outdated consoles have issues when emulated. Not naming any games but Superman 64 comes to mind.
This means that games like Parasite Eve, Parasite Eve 2, Xenogears, and Chrono Trigger could be lost forever. Especially since the PE games are stuck in hell due to licensing issues. The others haven't even gotten ports. That's the sad part. In a few years a lot of my favorite games will be gone forever aside of
Piracy. It's unfortunate that LEGAL AVENUES can't be used to preserve this media.
It's also scary that REMAKES are the only way to play some of these older games... but it also brings a new problem. The Theseus' ship problem. With remakes of remakes of remakes, how much of the original game is left?
So, in a weird way, if Ivalice Chronicles has a port of the OG with it in addition of the remake, then they're truly embracing the future while respecting the past.
Seems that by Q3 2026, We'll be done with Street Fighter II. So, in the spirit of staying captured by collecting, let's see what lines Jada could tackle
Resident Evil:
This would be based on the original games, not the remakes. The first set of lists will be more for having somewhat OK-ish diorama for most games, as full full lineups would be an impossibility:
For example: Resi 1, the figures would be:
Chris
Jill
Barry
Rebecca
Wesker
Tyrant
Deluxe First zombie with Cerberus and Crow
Hunter
Resident Evil 2:
Leon
Claire
Ada
Sherry with Crow and Cerberus
Annette
William Birkin
Licker
Mr.X
Zombie
Hunk
Mutated Birkin
Resident Evil 3:
Miniskirt Jill
Carlos
Nemesis
Mikhail
Nikolai
Zombie
Hunter
RE: Code Veronica:
CV Claire
Steve
CV Chris
Alexia
Alfred
Rodrigo
Zombie
Resident Evil 4:
RE4 Leon
RE4 Ada
Krauser
Ashley (soft goods skirt AND tied sweater) Ballistics are important!
Luis
Saddler with long tentacle
Salazar with various game items
Verdugo (cloaked)
Merchant
Don Jose (with Plaga Type 1 alt head)
Don Diego (with pieces for Dr. Salvador)
Cultist red (with Plaga type 2 alt head)
Cultist black
Resident Evil 5:
Steroids Redfield
Sheva Alomar
Excella
RE5 Wesker
RE5 Jill
Majini
Josh
Mutated Excella
Misc:
Billy Coen
Tofu
Hunningan
Sherry Birkin (grown up)
Jake
Ethan
Mia
Deluxe 9.6 inches tall Lady Dimitrescu with soft goods.
You know you'd have to buy multiples. One for the RESI display, one for making a MuTeens related custom figure, one to make as close to anatomically correct to die by Snu Snu.
Now shut the fuck up, Cade! Here's a condensed list to make me happy:
Nefty's RESI List:
RE1 Jill (MVC)
RE3 Jill (Jill in a tubetop and mini skirt.wpuld be gay not to pick her.)
RE2 Claire (Redfield Bloodline)
RE2 concept Elza (because I liked Elza better than Claire)
RE5 Redfield (Rock punching MVC)
RE4 Leon (Redfield Bloodline... not to Help Ballistics)
Ashley (B.A.L.L.I.S.T.I.C.S.)
RE2 Sherry (excuse to add Claire)
RE5 Wesker (MVC)
Nemesis (MVC)
RE1 Zombie, Crow, Cerberus (MVC)
RE1 Tyrant (MVC)
RE4 Ada (so you can't call me racist)
Don Jose (que carajo estás haciendo aqui
Don Diego (Maldita sea! Mierda! Vayan por detrás)
Luis (I see the President equipped his daughter with Ballistics too!)
Sheva (so you can't call me racist)
Deluxe 9.6 inch Lady Dimitrescu with soft goods clothes.
But let's leave biohazard behind.
Capcom Crossover series:
As the name states, it's Capcom characters that have made crossovers.in fighting games.
Think Marvel vs Capcom or Capcom vs SNK but without the non-Capcom stuff. While characters from Alpha sprites (Shadow, Sunburnt Sakura, Alpha) can't be made, perhaps CVS Dan, Maki, Eagle could be made because they aren't from the "forbidden games" and in Dan's case, the CVS Dan doesn't have Alpha Proportions and could be a loophole.
In some cases we could get characters like Ingrid, Jin, Devilotte, American Box Art Mega Man, Frank West, Strider Hiryu, Phoenix Wright, and say, Son Son WITHOUT having to get the entire license for the games. Maybe even Dante...
Jonny Quest:
Jada has gotten access to Hanna Barbera characters via Scooby. Maybe they could try Jonny Quest:
There are 3-4 continuities to choose from:
60s
80s
TV movies
Real Adventures
We can get a couple of characters and call it a day:
Dr Quest, Race, Jade, Dr. Zin, Johnny, Hadji, Jessie. Would be the ones that repeat themselves. Then there's Hardrock, Deprave, and other one shot characters that could.be used to pad the line.
Shenmue:
Hear me out. Here we'd get the most important characters from each game... not getting the entirety of the Mad Angels or Dou Niu's gang:
Shenmue 1:
Lan Di (Dragon Mirror and Dragon Mirror Holding hand)
Iwao Hazuki, soft goods Hakama and gi (alt. Fukusan head)
Nozomi
Tom (hot dog bottle from Tornado Kick)
Chai (Alternate Air ticket eating head)
Pedro (Mad Angels Leather Daddy)
Terry (Mad Angels Leader)
Guizhang
Tony and Smith (Sailors)
Goro
Mark
(Basic) Ryo:
Alt grimace head
Fists, flat hands, dramatic hands
Phoenix Mirror, soda can
(Basic) QTE Ryo:
Not wearing Jacket or sneakers
Alt screaming head
Fists, flat hands
Clear stand with QTE DC Buttons and Arrows.
(Deluxe) Investigating Ryo:
Ryo with all 3 heads, all hands, and
Cat in box, open notebook, hazuki handguard, capsule toy machine, capsule toy hand, scroll.
Shenmue 2:
Joy
Ren
Dou Niu (with parrot)
Yuan (chainsaw)
Shenhua
Master Baihu
Delin (with crate and crate moving hands L grips)
Xiuying
(Basic) Ryo:
Alt grimace head
Fists, c grips, dramatic hands
Backpack, Books, Leaf catching hand
(Deluxe) Foreigner Ryo:
New meditating head
Dramatic, Fists, leaf hand, L grips
Lucky hit board, chawan sign cups, lighter, repainted capsule toy machine
Where's Shenmue 3?
Not feeling like doing it. It was 2 and I ⅛ assed it... Name ONE character that isn't Master Sun, because we only know him for being voiced by Cam Clarke.
Uh, the evil chick with the Chi You Men? The ginger bowl cut roided dude...
Names!
Shenhua? Ryo? Ren?
Exactly. We haven't replayed Shenmue 3 after the bad aftertaste.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
You read that right...
NOT TOON, NOT VINTAGE LINE, NOT WHATEVER FREAKY DEAKY THING S7 WILL DO NOW, but OG NES TMNT
That means:
4 Turtles
April with a mega rack
Purplish grey Rocksteady
Bebop with pink pants and dark reddish vest and hair.
Shredder
Foot soldier
And the freaky NES enemies like Fire Freak, Chainsaw Maniac, Mecha Turtle, etc.
Shit! She was 55, died ofcardiac arrest. One day you're here, then poof! Haley Joel Osment saw you. This time, it was the "girl Fieri" as my Mom used to call her. I remember her from Secrets of a Restaurant Chef and my Mom calling her Girl Fieri. Wait... since food network people died, let me check on the OGs... but before that, Mom, I finally have evidence that Anne Burrell isn't a Jusenkyo afflicted Guy Fieri
Wooden crates of different sizes that could come with various items to use across various lines. Artwork, weapons, bags of "Sugar", pew pews, etc.
79: Symphony of Violence:
In essence this would be a collection of old and new blood effects, guts, mutilated body parts, plus tools to cause the damage the body parts possess.
78: Dance of the Undead:
Similar to the previous pack BUT with elements geared towards fantasy lines with Vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc.
So, normal and zombie effects in addition to Crosses, Stakes, silver bullets and other things that could work for a Castle in Transilvania.
77: Dog Houses and Dogs:
No need for Mega artuculated dogs, since I'm going for smaller types of dogs, like beagles, chihuahuas, dachshunds. The kinds that can fit in purses. With this we can get dog bowls, treats, etc. The idea is to have barely articulated figurines that can be used in various type of displays.
76: Portable toilet:
Yes, I'm talking Porta potties. I know there is a Japanese model kit, but it's Japanese styled. I want American styled Porta Potties. I can think of some shifty accessories that could be included... but you can imagine some.
75: A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA!?:
Yes. You heard the man.If you glue one to a foam board and make it stand as a backdrop, you're ⅙done for an interior or exterior diorama. With some creative use of coffee stirrer, action figure packaging, paint and something to make a doorknob to make dummy backdrop doors.
They could come with a security panel. Wouldn't need electronics like the arcade machines to lower costs.
NECA's Ben Cooper figures have some Halloween stuff, SAS should follow suit:
Jack o Lanterns, Jack o Lantern candy bucket, generic candies, generic masks that can be stuck to figures with mounting putty, paper bags with poop andfire effects, TP Rolls, Eggs, and other Halloween items.
72: Alchemist Lab set:
Think a Fantasy version of the Mad Scientist's Lab set from the previous list. Magical tomes, weird potions, organ jars, among old School jars, beakers, etc.
71: Sci-Fi Lab set:
Think something out of Star Wars, Star Trek, or Cyberpunk stuff. Holo screens, futuristic computers, Robotic arms, etc.
70: Another Cursed Crate:
I reviewed the cursed crate. So I'm suggesting a variant. Instead of the Undead green blood, getting the effects in blood, bringing the power tools from the casket of cruelty,, some of the bullet effects from the firepower pack. Yes, the idea is to get effects and stuff for "Perdition" displays. Paint it in a different color and call it a day.
69: Romance Set:
Flowers, chocolates, champagne and wine bottles, glasses, candles, and other items to set up a romantic dinner. Keeping things PG, otherwise condoms, fuzzy handcuffs, and other sexy times items would've been included.
68: Dark Ritual Set:
Part Satanic, part Lovecraftian, the idea is to have a creepy fantasy ritual to summon eldritch abominations. You can combine it with Sci-Fi stuff and you can be knee deep in the dead. Or you could combine it with gore pieces and it could look like a weird crime for Detectives to figure out.
67: Juice Bar food:
Teenagers tend to have an attitude when they don't have their healthy drinks. Maybe some healthy snacks. Guess I'm being spoiled by Miniverse. Some of those items will be seen in the Advent Calendar.
66: Tae-Kwon-Do Teens Set:
Not saying that this is aimed at teenagers who ptactice martial arts and may not necessarily be human... but it's aimed at non-human teenage martial artists.
I'm thinking a Wing Chung wooden dummy, a target practice dummy for Kunai and Shuriken (included) a punching bag that can be swapped for the pear. Breakable ice blocks, maybe even some waxing pads.
65: Police Traffic set:
While there aren't many vehicles in the 1:10 and 1:12 scales, there are a few around. A few barricades. (I know FTC does some, but more wouldn't be a bad thing) spike strips come to mind, megaphones, store coffee cups, donuts (whole and partially eaten), Police radios, riot shields, police clubs.
64: Musical Instruments:
The Arcade cabinet has an acoustic guitar. I'm thinking clarinet, trumpet, saxophone, cymbals, violin, maracas, etc. They could come in a piano shaped case.
Sushi, takoradi, okonomiyaki, sandokatsu, udom, ramen, onigiri, yakitori, kushikatsu, karaage, maybe some sake bottles and a gourd. Perfect for anime figures, weebs, maybe even a sensei of adolescent malformed assassin terrapin.
61: Drum kit:
I don't know how this could be put in a music set, due to the many pieces required to make a drum kit. Probably in a rock out set or something.
That's all I can think for now, let's see what I can come up with at a later date.
