New Eternia did Wonders for Beastman. He's bigger, badder, and armored too! He no longer is Skeletor's lackey in this continuity. He's a shaman who is trying to restore his lost tribe and will stop at nothing to get them back.
I could go on on how Beastman is my favorite villain from MOTU and mention the toilet story, but I won't. I did that in an ancient Episode of CotFO podcast. So let's talk Beastman:
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| Beastman: I'm not your enemy He-Man... unless you get in my way... He-Man: That's not how it works... I grab you, fling you like a used banana peel, then I beat Skeletor... |
Articulation
Beastman is built with Masterverse articulation: so, if you're used to Masterverse figures, you know what to expect. But if for some reason, you missed out on my Man-at-Arms, Teela, Tri-Klops, He-Man, Skeletor, and Savage He-Man reviews, then here's a quick rundown:
MOTU Figures with Marvel Legends articulation except the torso, which has a ball joint instead of Ab crunch. Double joints at the elbows and knees is what I'm talking about. The armor doesn't get in the way as one would suspect. His elbows and knees are rather stiff, so handle with care.
4.5
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| Skeletor: He's right, Beastman! You're my furry bitch! Tell him Tri-Klops! Tri-Klops: Sadly he's right... I'm his blind bitch, Trap Jaw is his amputee bitch, stinkor is his smelly bitch, Two-Bad is his two-timing bitch,jitsu is his Kung Fu bitch... Beastman: and Evil-Lyn? Tri-Klops: That's his fucking bitch... Skeletor: *singsong*With her, every lay is magical... Beastman: Let me guess, Merman is the Fishy bitch... Tri-Klops: Nah, fam! That's the Little Merbitch! Beastman: New Eternia seems like Old Eternia with additional steps. |
Paint and sculpt
The sculpt is decent for a Masterverse figure. The Feet are the only odd choice. They look weird in a bad way. Paintwork is bad on these. There's a production error where most figures have blue teeth due to the paint mask hitting the wrong area of the face. Mattel chose a wash to make the furry texture pop, but his body parts are mismatched based on the amount of wash received. But on the other hand, even MOTUC fans could enjoy this one... He's big, bulky and makes MOTUC Beastman look puny.
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| MOTUC looks like a teenager next to this Beastman. |
3.5
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| He-Man: Have at thee!! Beastman: How about, I go home, you pretend that you tossed me, then kick Skeletor's boney ass, so he can Myaaah! all the way back to Snake Mountain... I'm tired of being everyone's bitch! He-Man: Oh... Kay? But you're missing out on a free trip! Beastman: It's OK... I'd rather walk and rethink my life choices. |
Accessories
Beastman has a bunch of accessories. He sports a bear pelt, which is a dick move towards Mark Taylor. Using his proto Beastman Battle Bear type character as a pelt worn by Beastman feels like a mamassive Fuck you to Mark.
That's 2 pieces of Armor. In addition, he has a traditional Beastman armor, 2 shoulder spikes, 2 additional spiked armor pieces for the forearms, and 2 shinguards. He also sports the traditional Beastman whip and a new Spiked club.
5.0
Overall
Beastman gets a 4.33 as his final score. The weird feet and bad paintjob ruined his chances of being ranked higher. But despite all that, I Like him a lot. I will not use the Bear armor and keep him "traditional" but I'm keeping the leg armor, because it feels 200X-like. With the upcoming Revelation Hobo-Duncan, I could mix and match for my Definitive Masterverse MAA... It was Beastman, who made me appreciate Masterverse for what it could've been. It's never going to surpass MOTUC, but it COULD if Mattel played their cards right.
Oh no, I forgot to add the pics with the New Eternia Outfit... that sheds fur like crazy. Actually, I didn't... McFarlane borrowed this spot for me to review a figure that is kinda compatible with Masterverse:
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| Jaskier: Toss a coin to your Witcher, a friend of Humaniteeeee-eee! Skeletor: Beastman, kill the Spoony bard... Beastman: Right away bossman, but who is Hugh Manatee? Jaskier: That's Humanity... Skeletor: Shut up, buttercup! |
Articulation:
He's got McFarlane levels of articulation. aside the diaphragm joint. His joints are a bit too tight, which is mostly good. He can do most bard-type poses.
4.5
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| Skeletor: On second thought, don'tkill him yet. He could be useful as bait! Beastman: He's a bit scrawny, but he could bring forth a Nekker or two... Skeletor: It's pronounced NECAs... you overgrown furcoat! Jaskier: Y-y-you nearly smashed m-my penis! |
Paint and sculpt:
For a McFarlane figure, the likeness is incredibly good. The figure actually looks like the actor, which is astonishing since most McFarlane figures based on a living person look nothing like the person. Have you seen the Henry Cavill figures from Justice League and The Witcher? They look NOTHING LIKE HENRY CAVILL!! BUT Jaskier looks a lot like Joey Batey! The paintwork is very good as well, but McFarlane rarely disappoints here.
5.0
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| Geralt: Damn, you're ugly! Beastman: Hey, that hurts my feelings! Skeletor: Screw you guys, I'm going home! Jaskier: Geralt! Geralt: How do you like that silver! Beastman: why do I hear a woman saying lelelelele? |
Accessories:
Here is where McFarlane always fails me. He claims that it's to keep costs low, but at least we got his lute. Was the Djinn jar too much, Todd?
2.5
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| Geralt: Shit, you stink! Jaskier: Well, sorry for pissing myself after a skull faced dude and his hairy ogre attacked me! Geralt: I wasn't talking about you, Dandelion! Jaskier: Ohhh! Ignore what I just said! |
Overall
The Bard gets a 4.0 as his final score. As always, the lack of accessories is to blame. Yes, I get why Todd does it, but sometimes it feels like he's BSing us. I honestly don't know which figure I'm enjoying the most...
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| Geralt: Come on, get up... Is your lute OK? Jaskier: I-I think so... Geralt: Hmmm! Fuck! |
If Mattel were to make more Masterverse figures, Jaskier could easily pass off as a generic Bard. For a moment I even thought that getting a second one, disassembling the hell out of him and repaint him could yield a New Eternia Adam with the Relvelation He-Man head. But that type of customization is way above my paygrade...
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| Jaskier: When a Humble bard Graced a ride along With Geralt of Rivia Along came this song... Geralt: I just want to kill some monsters and play Gwent... |
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