Hey what the!? A Boner Spider?

 Yes, you read that right: There is a spider that can give you long lasting erections as a side effect. There's pain and risk of death but, 

For once this thing is not from Australia. It's the Brazilian Wandering Spider. It is also known as the Banana Spider,  not because of its erectile powers, but for enjoying bananas as a hiding place. The reason this spider made the news was it ended up in a Supermarket outside of Vienna.

This panic forced the supermarket to be shut down until they could find the spider...

Well, that spider explains this:

Mr. Stark, I feel so good!!