She was a C or D-List character (depends on who you ask and when you ask. Right now I see her as a C-lister.) She got her powers, lost her powers and memories, regained memories, regained powers, went to space, came back, lostpart of her powers, saw a fictional universe where she didn't suck, became a pseudo lesbian man-hating third waver and a fascist... Guess which version we're getting...
So, aside from piracy... (which is a no-no) here's 11 things you can do that are much better than watching Cap'n Meh Vel.
I honestly should have called it movies to watch instead...
11: Watch and reenact The Room... yes, the Tommy Wiseau film:
I know, The Room is awful, cringy, and painful to watch... just like Brie Larson attempting to pull off a convincing superhero.
10: Watch Green Lantern while getting a root canal:
Root Canals suck... Green Lantern sucks... but it's the closest to a DC version of Cap'n Meh Vel... at least Ryan Reynolds is entertaining...
9: Watching Ghostbusters (2016) as you wade in an inflatable pool full of slime... naked:
We need to get all that slime in every crack and let it dry out, so it becomes a pain to remove... You'll probably feel less dirty about this than supporting Cap'n Meh Vel.
8: Watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World:
It has Brie Larson and she's just as insufferable, but in less doses. I could've said Kong: Skull Island since it has her, Samuel L. Jackson, and a CGI Animal who steals the show. Hmmm!
7: Watch Suicide Squad and have a shot of vodka every time Will Smith acts like Will Smith instead of Floyd Lawton:
Suicide Squad sucks ass, but you'll be drunk enough to enjoy Jared Leto's performance as the Juggalo Prince of Crime.
6: Read the Twilight saga and the 50 shades series... Replacing the 50 shades names with Twilight characters:
OK, this one isn't a movie... closer to 8 if you're lazy or allergic to books.
5: sleep:
You know keeping it simple and saving money. And as adults, sleep is sacred.
4: Get some steaks and grill'em:
If you're vegan, which you'll tell me in the comments, gimme a tasty vegan alternative to Steak recipe... I heard about grilling Watermelon rubbed with steal seasoning... (my lack of willpower makes me eat the melons raw...) I honestly want to try some vegan alternatives to steak. If the alternative pleases my tastebuds and my wallet, I might go for the vegan alternative. Please, avoid the preachings about morality and all the other stuff. I just want the recipes from people whp have actually eaten them.
3: Play videogames:
You probably have a game or 10 in your backlog... I know I have. Currently doing Dream Drop Distance HD...
2: Do any chores you have put on the back gburner:
Especially if married... You know to make your Significant other happy and not mad at ya...
1: Watch Alita: Battle Angel:
It's a far better movie with a far better female protagonist. Besides, the Post Credits movies have already been spoiled... I COULD spoil them, but I won't...
All jokes aside, if you want to watch it, be my guest... just wait a couple of weeks until the cinema can get a bit more money per showing.
Do I want Cap'n Meh Vel to fail? Yes... Not because "she's a woman" but because the character is not worthy of the preferential treatment she's getting. The movie could be awesome, true... but since they are using Post-House of M Carol, I don't care much for the character... You know the confident and charming Rogue THAT WAS Old School Carol Danvers. A woman who fought her way in a Man's world without being a total ass...
But if you really want to see it and enter the murky waters that even I won't enter... Be careful Matey! (We are not responsible if you make like Jack Sparrow and get caught. )
But seriously, what are the vegan alternatives to steak...
No comments:
Post a Comment