Nov 3, 2023

Action figure woes: Smokers

 You see a figure on eBay to fill a gap in your collection. You buy the figure, a few days later it arrives. You open it and boom! Charlotte Flair smells like she bathed in ashtrays. That's what happened last week.

So, I had to pull the old Arm and Hammer litter box deodorizer and make mountains of white powder that are making me think of the Ric Flair cocaine memes. I gave a warm bath to Ms. Flair and washed her with dish sopa. Now that she was patted dry, I had to mummy wrap her in dryer sheets. Now that she's tightly wrapped, I took some foamboard offcuts to make a "mold" and I sealed all the corners with UHU glue because I ran out of e6000. Once the UHU dried, I mixed the A&H litter deodorizer with A&H baking soda. I tightly packed the mixture to create a bottom layer. Then I placed the Mummified Charlotte Flair in the mold and tightly packed more of the mixture. Once Charlotte was fully encased, I sprayed some Febreze and let the "brick" dry with sunlight. 

Luckily my neighbors know about my toy obsession, so the weird "cocaine brick" sittong on my porch was dismissed as "Nefty's doing some weird shit to toys again". Now the brick is harder than I was when I met Twilight Sparkle. Tomorrow it will receive a white vinegar bath as it bubbles away the Baking Soda prison revealing the Mummified Charlotte Flair who will only receive a warm water bath after her week buried in baking soda/cat litter deodorizer. Hopefully she will not be smelling like ash... 

I know you might be thinking that this is over the top, but seriously she stank like hell! Good thing I opened the package on my porch and didn't bring her inside. Otherwise that stench would have impregnated everywhere.

If you're a smoker and I are selling toys on eBay, please at least have the common decency of wrapping the figure in a dryer sheet or 3 just to mask over the odors.

I just realized that I have most of the 2017 6-inch fashion action dolls from Mattel. I'm only missing Becky Lynch and the Charlotte Flair variant. I specifically bought these as random civilians that somewhat fit with the S7 TMNT Ultimates. Especially, since I already claimed a few of them to be placeholders for the Neftyverse's MuTeens. (Shameless plug to my cringy fanfic) I might even get the "more realistic" Basic Line Divas and justify the girls doing cosplay of the Divas for a Con...


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