Crappy Child's Play reboot might have done something good...

Had I known this back when I wrote the Classic Costume fake She-Ra rant, I would've done a twofer...
Crappy Child's Play reboot replaced Brad Dourif as Chucky...

Luke Skywalker is the new Chucky!!
I know that Dourif = Chucky... BUT at least his replacement DOESN'T SUCK!! With that said, I have very, VERY, VERY  low expectations for this movie...

Cock Knocker wants to be Doc Ock... (Language)

And I'm more than OK with this...
Wait, wasn't he Hobgoblin in The Animated series? Well, yes... Mark Hamill... THAT Mark Hamill liked a post on Twitter about the idea of him playing Doctor Otto Octavius, and that's about it.
I Never thought of the idea, but now that they put that idea in my head... Well, Like I said before: I'm OK with this. Why would Mark Hamill make a great Doctor Octopus?
-He's a great actor whose biggest roles were 40-something years ago AND voice acting. Shave him, give him an out of fashion hairstyle (Would love the Comic Book Ock Bowl Cut) and put him with the Classic Ock Glasses (or a modern equivalent, but they have to be big, none of those Ray Bans that Alfred Molina had.) and he could pull it off!
-He's Familiar with the sci-fi genre, so Comic Book movies wouldn't be a far stretch for him.


I just want Tom Holland's Spidey to face his TRUE NEMESIS!! (Fuck Norman, Ock is the REAL NEMESIS!) And maybe set up for a Sinister Six Movie... Maybe not using the TRUE SIX, but having Ock, Shocker, Scorpion (teased in Homecoming), Mysterio (who is rumored to be the big bad in far from home) + Two additional villains (Hoping for Kraven being one of them. Part of his abilities could stem from him maybe finding a bit of the Heart Shaped Herb. Something, something, Mercenary Poacher, owner of a small PMC something.) and have Spidey run through this gauntlet of villains and prove himself to be the Superior Spider-Man.

It Came from the Toy Chest: He needs to pick up some power converters from Toshi Station

You can guess what Figure I am going to review from the Title alone... I could have gone with...

I also could have gone with a Cock Knocker Reference... a Joker reference, a Trickster Reference, plenty of other Star Wars References, but I have to use the Toshi Station reference, BECAUSE THIS IS TATOOINE LUKE From the Original Star Wars, for the Star Wars Black Toyline... Because there's Stormtrooper Luke, X-Wing Pilot Luke, Hoth Luke, Bespin Luke, Return of the Jedi Luke... Wonder when ep.7 Hobo Luke will show up... Damn! I noticed that I lost Vader's Light Saber...


I've had access to other Lukes... regret not getting Empire Luke, since I now own a Jabba, but if I WERE TO PICK ONE LOOK for Luke, chances are that Karate Farmboy would have been the one I'd choose... Well, it IS THE ONE I CHOSE if we want to be technical about it. Damn you Hasbro for making the Old Ben Kenobi a Comic Con exclusive!!

Do I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHO IS LUKE SKYWALKER?
Main Character in the Original Star Wars Trilogy, son of the Main Character in the much hated Prequel Trilogy... a Hobo in the New Disney Mary Sue Trilogy... His hobbies include:
-Shooting Womp Rats down in Beggar's Canyon...  Sounds Mildly Erotic.
-Desire to get Power Converters at Touchy Station...
-Incest...

Articulation:

Just picture Tatooine...
Maybe this'll help

He's got the Standard SWB Articulation... In mine the Ankles are not working properly for some reason. They are slightly more Limited than Vader's. 3.0

Paint and Sculpt:
Remember how mad I was with Cloth Parts on Vader? Well, I'm far more angry with Luke... I know what you're thinking: You hate Cloth Parts, yet you bought this Luke... I wanted a Tatooine Luke, I got a Tatooine Luke. What bothers me is that they could have made his Tunic sculpted, they already have sculpted Tunic Arms with the Prequel Obi Wan. It looks bad, I mean 1980s Toy bad. Cloth Items are not meant for figures smaller than 12 inches. Luke is a prime example of why this is true.
The Face sculpt is meh... It KINDA looks like Hamill, but at the same time it doesn't... The likeness can be perceived from a few angles... just not ALL OF THEM.

maybe squirt some lemon
juice so you can see Hamill

Paintwise, well... I'm glad he's got the light brown, dirty blonde look, vs the brown haired versions of him. His eyes are a bit derpy, but right now he's the ONLY Luke I've seen on the 6 stores I've looked for. 3.0

Accessories:
Macro Binoculars, Lightsaber with removable blade... Lightdaber is Lightsabery, and compared to other figures that get extra hands and stuff, Luke's a bit underwhelming in the accessory department.
1.5
Overall:
Luke gets a 2.5 as his Final Score. He could have been better, but Hasbro's obsession with cloth items, lack of accessories, and a meh face sculpt hurt him in the long run. A Positive is that I don't have to buy the $30 K-Mart Exclusive Rey to get a Luke Lightsaber... I don't NEED another Rey, period. I didn't get the Cool Starkiller Kylo Ren after getting the Vanilla one, so there is no point of getting ANOTHER Rey. Had she been wearing a different outfit, maybe... Ugh! How did a Luke Review end up becoming a Rey Review?

Hey kids It's Mark Hamill!! {APPLAUSE}

You probably know Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker... The son of "Annie" Skywalker, a.k.a. the emo kid who became Darth Vader. Oops! I've spoiled Star Wars for you... Yes Luke Skywalker, the Last Jedi on Star Wars. (Technically Luke was not really a Jedi, but all of the other Jedi Masters/ Sith were dead by the end of Return of the Jedi... we must assume that either Luke or Anakin are the Jedi who was Returning... I think that Anakin was the one returning, but I digress...)

Now don't worry, Luke... I won't make fun of you for being an idiot... I'm not gonna mention any of the following:
-How you turned off the aiming system to fire the shots that blew up the 1st Death Star. That's as intelligent as closing your eyes before changing lanes and hoping that God will guide you.
-I'm not going to mention how you ignored Yoda's teachings and warnings when you went to Bespin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0
Thank you Admiral Ackbar.

-I swear I won't talk about your "Jedi Master" plan to save Han Solo in which everyone got captured. (By Master I mean IDIOT!!!)

I shall talk about the guy that plays Luke... Mark Hamill.

The Guyver... What can I say. It's one of the few American made attempts at Live Action Anime. It's not good (The Sequel Dark Hero is better... Solid Snake is the Guyver on GII:DH.) The only memorable scene of the first Guyver movie is this one right here... Hey kids It's Mark Hamill!!! {APPLAUSE} being turned into a giant cockroach...{APPLAUSE}


Hey kids! It's Mark Hamill!! {APPLAUSE} Here he's playing The Trickster. He managed to brainwash the Flash on this Episode (The Flash is none other than Dawson's dad...)

Hey Kids It's Mark Hamill!! {APPLAUSE} playing the Trickster in animated form... Funny thing, The Flash is played by the guy who plays Lex Luthor in Supes' creek... I mean Smallvile. The Trickster is NOT the only role Mark Hamill has played on the DC Universe.

Hey Kids It's Mark Hamill! {APPLAUSE!} as the Joker. Heath Ledger Scmeath Smedger... The best Joker is Mark Hamill.

Hey Kids It's Mark Hamill's voice {Applause} Mark's Joker is practically THE Joker.
Mark's done some roles on Marvel related stuff too... He's played Hobgoblin in Spider-man The animated Series and Wolverine in the game X-2: Wolverine's revenge.

I'm not going to use the gag I've overused on the article since it comes from here... BTW This is the FOURTH movie in which Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher have been together... (and it's not a Star Wars movie.)

That's about it on Mark Hamill. He's done a lot of odd jobs on the industry. It's always a pleasure to see him spicing up whatever project he is in... Especially if he's playing the Joker...