Loch Ness Monster sighting wasn't in my 2025 bingo

 Apparently someone gave hin tree fiddy and now it's back.

Like Piranhas, Quicksand, Sewer alligator attacks, and encounters with the Greys (and their butthole probing ways), Nessie has always been a threat. You know know like those baby eating dingoes.

 Seriously. I thought the Loch ness monster stopped being relevant around the mid-nineties. Well, until South Park made the joke of course. 

I mean, have you thought of Nessie until now? No? Of course you haven't. That's the point. With the Advent of the internet and the rise of skepticism, tales of creatures like Nessie have become less believable. 

Last time El  chupacabras was relevant, was when the intentionally inappropriately named movie Chupa had a trailer release.

Nintendo Switch Online brought me an old friend

 The first Gameboy game tailored for the Super Gameboy which was an actual Gameboy inside a snes cartridge... minus the screen and buttons because the buttons were the ones controller and the screen was your TV. I am talking about the Donkey Kong Remake.

This but on your Gameboy... Now hold on Billy Mitchell as this is not a 1:1 remake. The Gameboy levels are not accurate reproductions of the Arcade game stages. They capture the essence of the original game, but they are NOT the original game.

They are merely the Tutorial for the game. There are 97 more stages to go. The game turns into a puzzle platformer with arcade boss stages where the objectove is Reach Pauline or hit DK 3 times. This game sports one of the closest to perfect controls I've ever played with. 

I haven't played this game since... 99, so that's 26 years.Holy shit, man! It feels so good. I'm a bit rusty, but the muscle memory is coming back and zipping across the stages WITHOUT DYING was a treat. Sadly, this wasn't a "makes girls moist" feat. Instead it was a "makes Nefty feel happy about himself' feat... and for someone who has been dealing with severe depression for 30-odd years, yeah it's a feat.