Apr 27, 2023

Who let Haley Joel Osment watch old talkshows?

 Because he now made the King of Trash Television kick the bucket... That's right, ladies and Gentlemen...

Jerry Springer is dead... at least he died peacefully at his home. Apparently, he had a bout with cancer. 

Most of us didn't knew him as a politician, but as the host of the infamous Jerry Springer show...
Yes, the show was garbage and it showcased the worst of humanity, but amongst the trash, there was a treasure...
Jerry's advice at the end... my condolences to his friends and family... as Jerry used to say, take care of yourself and each other...

So, all we're left to say is that we hope that Jerry was received in the afterlife with this:

Apr 26, 2023

Toon April 2.0 is coming and I want her/nay Need her too!

 NECA really wants to pinball machine incident from The Accused my wallet. Now there's a Toon April 2.0 coming. No longer a bobblehead...

Most of the stuff she has we've seen before, but the high tech bondage device and blindfold head are screaming NEFTYVERSE Inappropriate pic time!! 

I need to know WHEN will these drop so I can try and get them... hopefully, toon April won't be a Target exclusive and Movie concept April won't be Walmart's.

Apr 25, 2023

Come mr. Ferryman ferry my banana... Yuna is dancing to the Beetlejuice Soundtrack

 And Haley Joel Osment saw it. Harry Belafonte... Civil Rights Activist and notoriously known for the Banana Boat Song...

Has unfortunately, passed away. He was 96. My condolences to friends and family. I won't talk much about his activism, since the article I linked speaks of it far better than I could... and it's totally not because all I knew of him was 

Mainly the Beetlejuice Soundtrack. So, I'm not making Beetlejuice references or using clips from the movie out of respect to the deceased. Once I publish this post, I'm going to do some internet reading of his activism in order to satisfy my curiosity. I mean, the dude hung out with MLK, Mandela, and even grilled Beyoncé for not doing enough for the community.

NECA is making a new Judith Hoag April

 And I want her, no I NEED HER! The fogure is not movie accurate, but I NEED HER...

Nefty, the way you're speaking is as if they made her in The toon Banana Jumpsuit...

They made Judith Hoag April in the motherfucking cartoon outfit!!

She may not be the only "concept" they will explore... toon/toy outfit Elias Koteas Casey might be interesting, or a Toon colors Shredder... but I'm  more interested in the Utrom Professor Perry or in the possibility of a "Jim Henson styled" Rocksteady and Bebop...

BTW where the hell is Keno? 

Apr 24, 2023

Hasbro and Mattel collaboration... did I woke up in Bizarro World?

 Mattel will be able to do Transformers UNO cards and Hasbro will be able to do a Barbie Monopoly... now that I look at it, it sounds less impressive than I thought. 

I was expecting something like: GI Joe Vehicles for Hot Wheels, MOTU vehicle Themed Transformers, or... Barbie and friends disguised as Transformers. I mean Barbie and friends as Transformers would be amazeballs:
Barbie is of course Optimus Prime
Ken is Megatron
Midge is Soundwave with plug in baby belly that has the baby dressed up as Ravage.
Skipper is Bumblebee
Alan is Starscream
Christie is Jazz
Ricky is Hot Rod/Rodimus
Courtney as Arcee

And Barbie Transformers would be cool... I mean robots that turn into Barbie vehicles... but I'd rather get GI Joe Classified Barbie characters... Barbie and Ken have joined the war against Cobra. Ken could be made from parts that could be used for Chuckles, maybe reuse some Shipwreck parts and Barbie could be a kitbash from other female figures. Picturing a Scarlett redeco with Cover Girl's Bomber jacket and loads of pink... or He-Man and Skeletor on GI Joe Classified  something something Cobra opens an interdimensional portal to Eternia and we get 6 MOTU characters in Classified style... 

But this crossover is on the lamer side, so MOTU Guess Who? is the best we can wish for.


I forgot that Hasbro owns Power Rangers now... Barbie themed Power Rangers could be a thing, or Power Rangers Turbo Hot Wheels.

Making a Case for Carter and Lord Dregg

 I may not be one of the biggest fans of the "Red Sky" seasons, but they ARE a part of TMNT Lore and characters like carter and Lord Dregg didn't get any toys. Maybe Super7 can do something about it... Assuming the Playmates blockade is still going on, looking at the Red Sky seasons can give us an April Variant that isn't an "out there" concept... like a "Glam Rock April" that looks like a cross between Jem and Vixen... but that's not the topic at hand: it's Carter and Lord Dregg...

But Who ARE THEY, really? Carter is a human teen sidekick forced because reasons. He's an apprentice of Splinter. Meaning we get mostly reused accessories. Vintage Ninja rack stuff. For Unique weapons, I don't remember these seasons too much, but I think Tonfa would be nice, especially sonce we can give him Bladed tonfa for his mutated form. The obvious extra hands would be here. I would choose the following heads: Neutral expression, excited/angry expression and a Biker helmet with silver visor as a "third head".

Anyone knows where I could
find a 1:10 scale bike?

Carter's Mutated form is a smidge easier, since it would require a "MOTUC buck" as a base. That would make him look "big" next to a TMNT without getting to be "Mon*Star" (untransformed) big. 

For his accessories, bigger, badder versions of normal Carter's weapons would be the idea: Bladed tonfa made out of metal instead of wood a larger kama with longer sickle, sword sized katar blade, etc.
The usual hands and for heads a neutral expression and an angry screaming head.

The only one I'm having issues with is Lord Dregg. He has two looks, but one of them changes up way too much due to his powers.

We have this form, that is overdressed with the cape, the wrestling unitard, the poofy sleeved shirt and the leggins with weird ribbons wrapped around. Coupled with rhe cape, weird helmet to hold his massive noggin, and MOTU-esque Metallic boots... his second form is a bit more versatile, since he has shape-shifting arms and can produce weapons out of thin air.
This lends itself for cool accessories that can plug into his arms. He also has a laser sword, but couldn't find pics. Sadly, he is a bit of a big boy, meaning he would be more expensive than a normal figure. I'm guessing $75-$80 range.
April is there for size...

But wait there's more... He can make his two arms turn into 4. And after the Steelwill incident, I don't trust Super7 enough to deal with removable arms/torso to accommodate a Dregg with 2 or 4 arms.

For accessories the usual hands, his laser sword, couple of the weapons he used in the toon, maybe an extra head with light piping like Metalhead?

Apr 23, 2023

Leguizamo's butthurt about Mario and keeps making an ass out of himself

 Now he talks about considering joining the theoretical sequel if they become more inclusive.

Two things: 
-We don't want or need you, Leguizamo.
-The movie is pretty diverse already:
*Anya Taylor Joy is a SJW diversity multicultural checkmark filler plays Peach.
*Kevin Michael Richardson is Kamek... he's a PoC.
*Keegan Michael Key is Toad he's a BiPoC.
*Khary Payton is black and the Penguin King
*Foreman Spike is played by an actual Italian American, with Sebastian Maniscalco playing him. And no, even light skinned actors who aren't of Anglo-Saxon origin aren't white. Being of Italian Origin automatically makes them PoCs.
*Carlos Alazraqui, does additional voices... he's of Argentine ancestry...
*Eric Bauza, who is obviously of non-white ancestry is the Toad General.
*Phil LaMarr who is a PoC, does Additional voices.
*Lee Shorten who does Additional voices is Asian...
*Cree Summer who does Additional voices is a PoC.
*Nisa Ward who does Additional voices is a PoC.
*Ashly Burch who is of Thai ancestry does Additional voices.
*Fred Armisen who plays Cranky Kong has German, Korean and Venezuelan ancestry
*Charlie Day who voices Luigi has Italian Ancestry... 
*Jessica Di Cicco is of Italian American Ancestry, she plays Mario's Mom.
*John Di Maggio who plays Uncle Arthur is Italian American.
*Rino Romano who plays Uncle Tony is Italian Canadian
Now actors who have no pic on IMDB who worked on the movie that MIGHT NOT BE WASPs are:
*Daniel Mora, additional voices and name sounds Latin American.
*Django Craig, Additional voices... I just can't picture a Wonderbread dude named Django.

Out of a 37 people cast we have at least 17 who aren't WASPs. This gives us about 45.9% of the cast being of Non-White Anglo-Saxon Protestant origin. If we add the two I mentioned that I wasn't too certain about, the scales would tip to over 50% for the "non WASPs". 

But I know that Leguizamo's bitch ass would try to say that I padded the list with additional voices and secondary and tertiary characters...
Looking at the 7 most important characters we have: 
Mario: cracker
Luigi: not cracker
Peach: not cracker
Toad: not cracker
Bowser: cracker
Kamek: not cracker
DK: cracker
57% of the MAIN CAST being not crackers... and the female lead is kind of a Latina? And kind of an African as well? 

We could argue that an Italian American should've played Mario, but we don't NEED to cram Latinos where they don't belong. We made that mistake in 1993 by having a Latino play Luigi. To be fair to John Leguizamo, the whole movie was a Mistake... with him being the biggest miscast, but movie was garbage...
I mean the only good thing out of the movie was the late Dennis Hopper. La Familia Madrigal was correct about ignoring Leguizamo. Maybe it's time we did the same thing.

Apr 22, 2023

WB has a new promotion for Barbie the movie

 It's the Barbie Selfie Generator, now you can be a Barbie... or a Ken where you can upload a selfie or a pic of someone and it edits out the normal background to add a new Barbie themed background... it's a fun little thing, you can even add captions. Of course I've seen some folks misusing the app in the most horrible ways. I was going to share a few that I've seen online, but since Blogger has become a widdle bit too sensitive and marks everything as sensitive topics... some of those pics are a bit unflattering with instagram girls... so, here's a good and clean Barbie Selfie Generator pic that even Blogger won't bitch about "sensitive content".

Sure you can...

Sadly Aqua broke up and they won't be able to use this to troll Mattel. Their break-up was a mess that I won't touch here. 

Apr 21, 2023

SF 6 Demo is out on Playstation and

 I have mixed feelings about it. The de.o is obviously VERY limited. The character creation tool is decent... it's not on the Smackdown! games level, but it's a lot better than Expected. It still takes some time to get used to it and I have to wonder if there are far more parts being held back. The World Tour mode where you ise your created chatacter reminds me a lot of Dragon Ball Xenoverse with a Street Fighter twist. 

I'm not too fond of the "Super Smash Bros. wannabe" Modern controls, but the demo kinda forces you on it. The Drive mechanics will make competitive gaming very interesting. Right now i don't feel TOO rushed to get the game. I CAN DEFINITELY WAIT for Christmas for it... unlike Nintendo's TLoZ Tears of the Kingdom. But even if Nintendo wasn't releasing a Zelda game close to this game's release (I know there's like a month or two between them), I would still wait, since I got burned with SFV. 

I think that my following statement might be a bit controversial. I found World Tour to be much better than the actual game itself, to the point that I believe Capcom should make World Tour a sister series to Street Fighter. I mean kinda like Rival Schools, but the focus would be on old and new characters and the Create a Fighter feature. The latter being the main focus. You get say, 20 slots of existing characters (all made just like the created fighters, so there's no marked difference between customer created characters and Capcom Characters. 

I mentioned old characters, because some random SF character, could appear, like say Dan Hibiki, Karin Kanzuki, Retsu, Joe, El Fuerte, Scott, and Max... just to mention some unimportant randos and Dan... who would serve as the tutorial for the World Tour Mode. The character creation tool should be overhauled to the point that you should be able to choose all your moves:
Basics, specials, supers, etc.
Heck you could even create the ending text that would display next to various preexisting ending animations. Like say: Wanderer, has your character walking down an empty path like Ryu. Wedding has your character kissing their fiancee on an outdoors wedding (straight and non straight weddings could be made) Fame is the ending where your character is gloating about money and merchandising.
Death is self explanatory, but your character dies. So on and so forth.

But a very important thing is that the created movesets have to be balanced. At the moment I don't have a concrete idea on how to do this, so I won't go deep into it. But back to SF6...

It kind of feels like the game is trying to reinvent Street Fighter for a new generation. I'm not so sure how well it'll do but this old fart is a little interested in seeing how things will go.

Apr 20, 2023

Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Saki Ultimates rant:

 The possibility of a Playmates Embargo on TMNT hasn't been made clear as of the writing of this rant, so, I suppose we should tackle these two, seeing that they're very similar. Both are members of the Foot Clan and they're heavily involved in a personal war. Since the Ultimates is inspired by the vintage toyline, which is a weird amalgamation of Mirage and toon, we can take elements from both to have characters:

I have made suggestions for these i. The past, but they heavily relied on Playmates Toys likenesses and elements. With the possible embargo, we need to change that.

Hamato Yoshi:
First, his hakama and kimono should be soft goods. I know Nefty hates soft goods, but with TMNTU I'm more open to them. Magenta kimono with grey striped Hakama for Yoshi. I would use a modified Shredder body for Hamato Yoshi. 
What do I mean by modified? Simple: new lower leg and forearm parts to eliminate the holes for Shredder's armor. A new upper torso of similar size and build without the sculpted cloth piece from Shredder's mask. This would give Yoshi a martial artist look. The Bandages from the Shredder body would be on a bone white color on Yoshi. The shredder pants should be light grey. A bone white slip on neckpiece and a light grey Foot ninja head should be added and a soft goods magenta tunic amd white belt to have Yoshi in his ninja gear looking somewhat like a Mirage Foot Ninja... (setting up a future figure or 2, nudge nudge wink wink). Obviously a Toon TMNT Inspired Hamato Yoshi head would be needed. 

For weaponry, a walking cane like Zatoichi's. It covers both staff and katana disciplines. A jitte and a sansetsukon cover the sai and Nunchaku disciplines. His last accessories would be a Bow (reuse Karai's) and arrows. Some of these accessories (all except the cane sword) would be reused on the foot ninja. As a replacement for the cabe sword, a katana and other preexisting weapons could be tossed in.

Oroku Saki:  
Saki needs a new torso... (same one as Yoshi but with swappable arms) one set of arms would reuse the Yoshi arms, the other Shredder's arms with new armor pieces. We'd reuse Shredder's legs with new armor pieces too! The kimono would be purple and the hakama dark grey. The wraps on his forearms and feet should be black.
His pants should be dark grey. The new Shredder armor pieces should be metallic blue and they should look like the vintage toy armor sans spikes. He should get the purple neckpiece from Yoshi and a grey cloth tunic and black belt. A purple Foot Ninja head from Yoshi completes the second look.
He gets the standard hands from Shredder. 2 Additional left hands with blue claws sculpted on them (gripping hand and fist) a Third head with the Shredder helmet in Metallic blue with the face shadowed out. (See silver Shredder's second head) for weapons: Katana, Karai's kusarigama, a halberd,and a knife (reference to the knife that he used to kinda literally stab Yoshi in the back)

I know what you're thinking: "Why am I giving this figure a lot less accessories than Yoshi?"

OK, this figure has 4 modes:
Oroku Saki (toon based), Foot Ninja mode, Kinda Shredder mode and Oroku Nagi... oops, I kinda skipped the Oroku Nagi head. The 4th head, Unmasked Nagi is the reason why Saki seems a bit slim in accessories.
Not only that, I am also giving you spare parts for other characters:
The grey Tunic is also meant to be used on Silver Shredder to make a Somewhat Toon Shredder. The tunic, the full blue helmet, and the left hands are to make a more Mirage inspired Playmates styled Shredder.

The unspiked armor arms, the tunic or just the neckpiece with the Nagi head work to make an individual Toy version of Nagi. The shredder helmet and left claws being optional parts. Or you can pop the Nagi head on a Shredder body as well. If you get 2 of the figure, you can have Nagi wearing the kimono and hakama, while Saki is in Foot Ninja gear. Not to mention that the armored arms and legs can make way for reuse in Shredder's Elite warriors. With a new Helmet piece on a repainted Shredder head, we could also get the Shredder Elite.

So let's recap: from 2 figures that started from some mods to an existing figure, we have the potential for: 
-Mirage Foot Ninja
-Shredder's Elite
-Mirage Shredder
-Oroku Nagi
-Oroku Nagi's Ghost

That's 5 more figures. The Mirage foot ninja and Mirage Shredder require either a new torso (preferred option) or a repainted one. In Mirage Shredder's case, new armored spikes for legs and forearms could be used as well and a few new right hands.
The Shredder elite require the same new torso (if available) But a new helmet piece on the Shredder head.
For Nagi's Ghost the form in which they choose the body, would be the canonical form for the living version. Add a ghost head with long hair and tattered sheer clothing to simulate the translucent ghostly clothes and make the figure in translucent or GITD Plastic.

There is another figure that could be made as well: Toon Shredder. Usong elements from the Mirage Shredder and Oroku Saki, a toon version could be made with 2 additional alternate heads: with helmet but no mask and the Eye of Sarnath. 

The main problem would be the Playmates purists that only want the 80s toys bigger and more articulated. While they'd rather have nothing umless it's Playmates 2.0, I'd rather have stuff that goes beyond the original line, while maintaining a similar spirit to it. 

Hasbro is teasing another Spider-Man TAS 2 PACK

 It's green and it's gobliny... ues, The green Douchebag is coming... and has a Norman head.

I know what you're thinking:

Big Deal, we've had Plenty of Green Goblins and some already come with Norman Osborn heads... but none of them cone with The animated series Glider... betting Hobgoblin will come soon... I wish he did with the bigass glider...

But a Green Goblin, even with the TAS Glider isn't enough to push me to get this...

Godfuckingdammit! Now I NEED this... hopefully Hasbro will add alternate Hydroclone MJ hands...

GIMME A TAS Peter Parker!!! Striped shirt version preferred. Also

A Legendary Riders Smythe is an obvious item. 
Wait, I got it!
-Chameleon and Peter Parker 2 pack with removable Chameleon belt to use on Peter (or Chameleon disguised as Peter)
-Morbius and Felicia Hardy 2 pack.
-Tombstone and Joe Robertson 2 pack
-J Jonah Jameson and Spider-man 2 pack

Oh no, I better shut up, my wallet is weeping hard.

*Schwarzenegger noises intensify* guess who will be hitting Netflix soon?

 He's back! Now he's Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition... no, that's the name of his new Netflix show: FUBAR

I'm getting True Lies vibes from this trailer. This moght be a good thing, but at the same time it's Netflix... we saw what they did to Power Rangers... dammit, I guess I found another reason to NOT cancel Netflix.

It's coming soon... I guess Arnold must have been cumming left and right in preparation for this series... 

This line better make it somehow... the trailer already showed a variation on I'll be back... I bet that getting into a helicopter will be referenced and if a character is on a diet, we could get

But of course, these are mandatory.  In any case, I should check this out in May...

Apr 19, 2023

Neftlix and no chill: a Power Rangers special rant...

 Ay-yi-yi! There will be spoilers... This new Special is meant to be a love letter to fans of the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. It has better effects than the original Sentai series... but how does it fare?
Grab your MMPR helmet, and color coded clothes cause it's Muffin' time!!

This special is a weird one... it's Power Rangers but it has a bit of an edgy feel and you'd better watch it for yourselves. But I do have a play by play summary after the jump.

Apr 18, 2023

Steven Seagal Ultimates

 Think about it: Yes, I know товарищ Сигал is a massive douche canoe. With that said, he's still an 80s icon and one of my idols. I think he's a perfect candidate for Super7 Ultimates:

Whether you love him or you hate him... I know most folks are on the second column, you can't deny that he's right there with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris. So, I picked a few possible Seagal looks for an Ultimates Seagal line:
First we got the one I'll dub as "The Original":
This is Seagal's first movie, Above the Law. I know some company released a figure of Seagal based on this specific pose, but that's more like a statue. I want a Seagal with 90s Articulation. I just find this look slightly more Iconic than the Hard to Kill Seagal... though a "Pool Shark" Seagal from Hard to Kill would be cool. Billiards ball on a towel and billiards stick accessories come to mins. 

The second one I'll dub as "The Environmentalist":
This is based on the movie On Deadly Ground. Which has Seagal with a Native American styled jacket and using tons of military weapons. This is still before the decline of Seagal's career.

Now the following theoretical figures follow Seagal after "he fell from grace" and he became the Big Chungus version of himself. Before anyone claims I'm fat shaming Seagal, I am not, since I've been using Big Chungus Seagal as an alternate costume for those "not yet Halloween but it's October and it's a costume party" for years. Mainly because I have a similar body type and it's a put on a ponytailed wig, glasses and a jacket for an instant costume kind of thing.

This one I dub "The Deputy":
It's from the time he was a Lawman. 
For accessories he would get the standard policeman gear.

This one is The Vampire Hunter:
And he's obviously Against The Dark. A shotgun and a katana would be his main accessories.
This last one I dub as The Man:
Since it's based on Seagal himself and not a movie character. Or I should say as how Seagal perceives himself: A man of peace, but able to kick ass if needed.
Giving him a hand with prayer beads sculpted on it to calm himself and giving him a hand with the credit card blade from the Glimmer Man sculpted on it to pay using plastic... Not to mention a handgun, a rifle, a katana, the billiards stick and the billiards ball in a towel... basically an amalgamation of Seagal's most iconic weapons. Also, he needs his guitar. I'd have 3 heads: Bearded, clean shaven, and a singing head (glasses, with durag and removable hat.)

The one Seagal I wouldn't have is "The spiritualist":
He wouldn't cone with accessories other than hands and what the hell I'm talking about? I would LOVE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THIS FIGURE!!
He'd be the "Shen Long" of the Neftyverse.
Say what you will about товарищ Сигал, but he'd kick so much ass as an actual action figure... but there is another Seagal variant... The Comrade...
I know what you're thinking: 
Nefty, there's no way that you're going to suggest Seagal in the traditional Russian hat and a big bulky jacket because Russia is cold. That would be stereotypical and racist.

It would be, if it wasn't for Steven Seagal himself making a Russian ad where he's wearing stereotypical clothing.
Владимир Путин - мой лучший друг на всем белом свете

And now I know why this will never happen... his friendship with Putin when the world's stance is against Putin...

Apr 17, 2023

Super7 Fugitoid: a Rant

 The "Playmates embargo" could Theoretically be bypassed for the Fugitoid. This is due to a single appearance as a generic enemy in TMNT3: The Manhattan Project.

The body would receive some tweaks like losing the hinged panel, which is exclusive to the Playmates version, and the vintage weapons. We can get away with the colors from the NES game and the body shape from pretty much every version of the Fugitoid, since they follow the Mirage design.

Going purely on the NES Game details, the figure would looks something like this. Pardon the crudely edited image, but the bulb-like things on his legs would have to be eliminated. Heck, most of his body would be streamlined to look more like its mirage counterpart. His torso might be able to keep SOME of the toy detailing, since it shows on the NES Sprites. The end product might look like a Mirage Fugitoid Limbs attached to a Playmates-esque torso with a red and gold NES Palette.

 For accessories  I think that hands are obvious. I don't thibk that he warrants any extra heads, BUT even so, his head should be removable. But we're missing the OTHER accessories, since he's rather small and we need to make him feel $55...

I swear if Nefty dares to say add little guys I'm going to lose it...

Add little guys...
Take it away Jotaro kuJo

Fugitoid wouldn't get his vintage accessories since the "Playmates embargo" would block them... but his lack of accessories allows for adding things: enter the little guys...

You just said that.

I know, I'm repeating it so we don't get another Muckman with just 2 hands and the trashzooka.
These guys could be about the size of the non- mitated Turtles we got, so not that big. Personally, I'd prefer it in Mouser colors, BUT getting one first in Fugitoid colors, then when a "Technodrome defense accessory pack" is released we'd get them in normal colors (because there they'd be plural.)
Hell, a gold Mouser ans an accessory would be kinda cool. Just look at the games for the small robotic enemies

Then we have the eventual "redeco"...

Using the GITD Mouser color scheme for the Fugitoid.

But if Playmates stops being a little bitch about everything, we could get the vintage accessories for the Fugitoid.

Apr 16, 2023

Mexican SJW are trying to cancel Bowser, King of the Koopas

 Yes, they're trung to hitch a ride with super Mario's popularity by claiming that Bowser is sexist, misogynistic, and promotes the stalking and harassment of women... almost as if he was a villain.

Apparently, the SJWs are butthurt because Bowser is relatable... Yes, Bowser is a Turtle-Dragon hellbent in world domination and has killed, enslaved, and done other things in hos quest to rule. At the same time, he's a socially inept dork, who is trying too hard to impress a girl the wrong way. Again, he's the villain. OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO HAVE WARPED MORALS, hence the "misogynistic" approach he has. But again, he's a socially inept Turtle-Dragon. Socially inept people have cringy behavior often impulsed by skewed versions of social norms. We've all had our cringy phase. ESPECIALLY WHEN DEALING WITH UNREQUITED LOVE. That's what's so relatable about Bowser. He's the Band geek who's fallen in love with the Head Cheerleader and is doing everything and anything to get her attention. He's the dork who's been reading the PUA BS to try and manipulate the female psyche to his whim.

Bowser's behavior is not the relatable part. What's relatable are his motivations, his feelings. He's basically a warped version of Meat Loaf in I'd do Anything for You... He's deeply infatuated by this "impossible girl" or at least the concept of the girl and not the actual girl. Oh no, I'm going to overanalyze Peacher, aren't I?

I'm tempted but no: if you want to read an analysis of the lyrics, here you go

All of his actions are attempts to convince her that he's the perfect man (Turtle-Dragon) for her, or to impress her. But he has barely interacted with her until he finally captures her. He doesn't know her, but he loves whatever fantasy he created about her in his head. Those of us who have had a socially inept phase KNOW where he comes from and can relate due to our experiences. That doesn't mean that we approve of his genocidal ways. I include myself here because I'VE BEEN ON A MORE REALISTIC VERSION OF HIS SITUATION. Everyone who has a shred of common sense understands that Bowser is completely wrong on how he copes with his feelings. Also, if he did everything the righr way, he wouldn't be the villain. 

Now if your kid is emulating Bowser, that's the part where you do the Parent thing and explain why Bowser's actions are wrong. The people complaining about this are about 35 years too late.

Apr 15, 2023

Custom Don the Undercover Turtle update

 As I mentioned in the Undercover Raph's review, I planned to make a Don the Undercover Turtle inspired custom in case Super7 couldn't make an official figure and Turn the Raphael body into a Nightwatcher or something similar... still on the planning part. Here's what I've learned in the process.

I should've taken pics of the process, but the rant was something I just thought up. Sadly, I didn't think of that at the time.

Do NOT try to use the Normal Donatello head with the hat. I did. It doesn't look bad but I had to dremel the inside of the hat a little and use a ton of e6000 glue to kinda hold the hat in place. I'm trying to avoid mutilating the Don head by adding some small screws in order to create an epoxy putty peg that would bond the hat to the head. It's easier to remove the hat from the Raph head and repaint it in Donatello colors. I simply didn't want to paint and I wanted the Raph head for the Raph body, because reasons...

Foot Soldier rack knife actually works since it's soft and light. It can be held by the straps on Donny's harness without issues.

I still haven't gotten balloons to use for elbow pads. I might be a but torn about the issue since, I'm liking the normal trenchcoat look a bit more than the Don the Undercover Turtle 
Exposed pads look. Then again, I already said that I wasn't going to break the sleeve like Don the UCT.

I'm experimenting with Bobby pins to make Donatello's microphone. Maybe even considering getting third party revolvers... Wrestling Superstore, I'm looking at you... in order to make Donatello's fake gun. 

I need to get a lightweight epoxy putty like Procreate to attempt to make The Mask that Don wears... but a full head version with no hat... mainly because access to UC Raph hats is a bit expensive and making molds to make resin hats is too cost prohibitive.
It's not a 100% accurate look, but it's reaching 
the minimum threshold for passable.

On a slightly unrelated note, since I have spare Donatello weaponry, I'm going to experiment on mimicking Diana's spin staff effect with Donatello by using clear plastic from window packing, translucent paints and arts and crafts my way into  that. 

If we get deprived from Don the Undercover Turtle, I got myself covered. 

It came from the Toy Chest: This is the work of an Enemy Stand...


By Enemy Stand I mean a MOTU Themed Stand made by someone who Isn't Mattel.

Ramen Toy, the ones who were making a figure of a vertically challenged clambaked loon who hastily retreats whenever he has homoerotic thoughts... they were hit with a cease and desist from the guy's people. I mean the dude threatened Funko for a Pop! Of his character.

They made a Stand for MOTU Figures. They have 2 upcoming tmnt themed stands... I mean random NYC alley and sewer stands.

I mean it's a stand and has interchangeable pegs (that I won't use, since I want this as a weird movie prop to have in the eventual second time around diorama that I have on the backburner)

The stand feels sturdy and it can fit figures from various lines like say Masters of the Universe Origins, masterverse, and Masters of the Universe classics just to name a few. 

Classics Nefty-kun is back!!

Eat your milk, say your vitamins and drink your prayers, brother!

Teela:*sniffs* My chocolate treat smells like cherries... mmmmm!
Diana: Help me...

There isn't much that I can say about it I mean it's a stand that looks like the Vintage card back of Masters of the Universe figures. Well I can mention that the piece that you use to connect multiple stands together actually looks like the new chest Insignia that Heman is using. You know the one, the weird HM Fusion that has been used since the '80s for the variants like Battle Armor He-Man, Thunder punch He-Man, Flying Fists He-Man just to name a few.

Personally I wouldn't recommend buying too many of them because they occupy a bit of space. Now if you wanted to display a single figure somewhere like say, on your office desk then I would totally recommend the stand and using the included Peg.

This is a Cam Clarke reference

Apr 14, 2023

Making a case for Agent Bishop in TMNTU

 I know that he's a 2003 creation and not in the original run of toon and comics for TMNT, BUT I believe he has a lot of potential for storytelling purposes. I know he's not exactly the most toyetic design... he's basically a nod/parody of the infamous Men in Black... cue the fresh cuck's video... well, that is if we go for the basic MIB look for Bishop. Using the what if he was made in the 1980s idea, we could tweak Bishop into a more Toyetic version. From the 2k3 toon, we know that Bishop is over 100 years old and he was genetically enhanced by the Greys. He's a MIB/Nick Fury parody/homage. He even has a Battle suit like Fury... and this is where I'd start:
As you can see we have 2003 Bishop in his Battle Suit. Also with a Trenchcoat, which we should keep in consideration.
Using 80s styled aesthetics, his suit is too dark.
The Metallic parts would be shiny silver, to make them pop. The cables would be eliminated to avoid breakage due to the "non action feature" of removable soft goods coat and then there's the whole articulation thing.
The grey areas on the side of his torso (surrounded by the red energy pattern) would become a greyish purple. The rest of the black in hos body should be a combination of flat, gloss, and metallic blacks. (Flat on the cloth areas, glossy on the glasses and boots, metallic on the armored bits and gloves) I'm keeping most of the black  just so he can still be considered a "Man in black". Otherwise the 80s aesthetics demanded more blues, greys and some gold and copper elements in the metallic parts in order to reduce the black. 

For accessories, he'd get a bunch of blasters.
A handgun type, a machinegun type, a sniper rifle type, and a lazer knife. These accessories would be bright red matching his energy and a nifty battle helmet in bright red... IF he had been made in the 80s. 
Now for 2020s, bright solid red weapons would look bad. So, his weaponry would be mostly black, gunmetal, and red accents. The battle helmet would be one of the alternate heads.

The only thing missing is the coat: a generic black trenchcoat which is used to hide the battle suit.

Now that you have an idea of a Vintagized Bishop, let's list the accessories for a S7 Ultimates version:
I mentioned his blasters and knife. But let me go into detail here:
-handgun: a Laser blaster that looks like a stylized Desert Eagle
-rifle: a Laser rifle inspired by the m4 carbine that should be able to connect with Bishop's knife to turn the rifle into a Bayonet. The advantages of a laser rifle over a handgun styled blaster are increased rate of fire, requiring less cooldown time between blasts, increased ammo capacity, and at Agent Bishop's request, they can be turned into bayonets with the usage of a vibroblade.
-Sniper Rifle: a high powered laser sniper rifle visually inspired by the a5. This one is not meant for close quarters combat due to its long charge time.
-vibroblade knife: a knife made out of alien metals that vibrate at a frequency that can slice through most solid matter, as long as an electric current power the blade up. No electricity, the blade is as good as a standard combat knife. It looks like a bayonet knife with some techno kibble on the back and on the handle.
-Freedom: A Liberator type blaster. 

Now for the hands:
Bishop would have more hands than normal
You get the standard gun grips with vertical and horizontal hinges.
You get a set of fists for punching.
You get a set of wider c grip hands meant to hold the rifles in ready carry... *reminder that I'm not a gun expert, so I'm going from what I've read and seen on documentaries and in Mail Call with the late Watermelon destroyer, R Lee Ermey.
Pointing hands
Dramatic pose hands
Relaxed hands without gloves

Now the heads:
-Normal Bishop head with removable sunglasses. (Black, and pseudovintage red)This head is meant to be his look with the trenchcoat without the battle suit headgear.
-battle suit Bishop head. This one has the chinstrap and the gear protecting the back of his head  and the goggles.
-full helmet head. It's self explanatory.

This covers Bishop as a toy. Now as a character, we can use a combination of the 2003 and new elements. The idea that an Union Soldier gets abducted and experimented on returns to Earth and uses his newfound Super Powers to create a Shadow Branch of the Government to weed out Supernatural Elements in order to defend the Earth seems like a cool idea for a new faction.
With Bishop making inhuman experiments with cloning, cybernetics, genetic engineering to create weapons against any invaders. 
This lends itself to adding characters from other sources like the scrapped 4th live action movie that has a bunch of cyborgs as potential villains.
Kirby can easily start as a Slash base. The rest of the Cyborgs could be used as Bishop's special off-the books hit squad. Some of the designs are a bit bizarre. 

Bishop opens the door to new character that we were supposed to get in the past that were canned because of reasons. If Karai allows for new stuff to enter TMNTU, then Bishop should be one of those new additions.

Apr 13, 2023

It came from the toy chest: They were isekai'd before iselaid were cool


I am referring to the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. I got Hank the Ranger and Diana the Acrobat on clearance. They had Bobby, but I only had spare cash to buy 2 out of 3... priorities and stuff. The cartoon gang has a cameo on the new movie. Seeing that they were on clearance was the reason I got them. I was afraid of getting them due to QC Horror stories and price point is a smidge too much for their size and accessory count.

Before I start, I must issue a warning:
These figures have a lot of quality control issues and there have been plenty of reports about the joints breaking especially on Hank the Ranger. Even Pixel Dan has been a victim of Hank breaking. Most Hanks break at the wrist or elbows. Diana also feels super fragile with her elbow and wrist joints.
Hank: He has excellent neck articulation. But his arm articulation is so horrible that he can't properly hold the energy bow to properly pose him like he's about to let an arrow fly. Even in the box pic showcasing the figure, Hasbro can't get him in a good pose. 
Diana: She fares a bit better than Hank. Her articulation is identical to a Female Marvel Legends figure... without double jointed elbows.

Paint and sculpt:
Here is where everything goes to shit... at least with Hank. There's something OFF about his face. From some angles it looks good, but from others it looks weird. Like he's got a mouthguard shaped like a mouth and teeth... He looks a lot younger than 15. Other than that he's OK.
Hank: Sheila!? Bobby!? Are you OK!?
Diana: Hank! More wraiths are coming, we need to fend them off before looking for the others...
*panicked Uni noises*
Hank: Presto, Eric! Hang on! We're coming!
*Approaching wraith sounds*
Hank: Ready Diana?
Diana: Let's kick some ghostly ass!
Hank: We're coming guys!
Presto VO: We can talk about this later, look out!
Sheila VO: Bobby, watch out!
Bobby VO: Uni! Come back!
*panicked Uni noises*

Diana fares a bit better here. She doesn't look 14. But it seems that the characters look younger than their cartoon versions, except Bobby, who looks older. Now, her likeness is a bit better though. 

Hank gets 2 versions of his bow. With and without energy arrows. Hasbro cut some corners here and for the energy Arrow gave us an unpainted translucent yellow Bow. Meanwhile the empty bow is solid yellow. Also a d8 die

Diana fares a bit worse here since her staff is solid colored and she has a solid colored staff with twirling after effects. It's a nice idea but the execution is disappointing. Also a d20 die.

Hank gets a disappointing 3.67 as his final score. I'll  throw a D20 to see if I can get over 16. If I do get over 16, then I'll throw a d8 to give him a little boost. If it's under 16 his score remains. 
I gues this could be considered a saving throw?

Score boost wasn't great for Hank.

Based on the dicerolls, hank gets a .10 boost so his new score is 3.77 which is not a huge boost, but them dice don't lie. Hasbro cutting , awkward choices in sculpt, and having articulation issues really brought down this figure.

Diana gets a 3.83 as her final score. It's better than Hank's but let's see if she gets a dice bonus. 
I'm trying to give the dice some importance...
I haven't played D&D since the first half of the 90s... I miss those days.

Since she got a 15, which us under 16, her score remains unchanged. The best thing about these figures is that their size gives me hope for Marvel Legends power pack. Diana's size would be perfect for Julie. I hope I can go back next Friday and get a discounted Bobby. I can see myself getting Sheila and Eric... and later Presto... sadly Venger is out of my reach because he's a Target exclusive. They also scale rather well with Masterverse figures...
Hank: That's how we got split up. A bunch of wraiths led by a blue skinned licth and a Brutish Apeman attacked us. There were some mechanically enhanced men with them. They took our friends!
He-Man: By the Goddess, Teela, these children have seen Hells beyond Hells and they still keep fighting to locate their friends. Seems that Skeletor took them.
Teela: Mmmm... I haven't seen such a nice and tight Nubian Nubile body since Andra...
Diana: I need an adult...
Teela (seductively): I am an adult.
He-Man: For Zoar's sake, Teela! Stop preying on the child and focus...
Teela: This is why men are bad and we should stick together... maybe we should take a nice soothing bath together...
Hank: Uhhh... Friends in danger, they need help? One of them is a cute redhead and she...
Teela: Why didn't you say so? Is she cute? Ebony and Ivory Love together in perfect harmony...
Diana: Those aren't the lyrics...
Teela: I know what I sang... can't wait for that reversed Oreo.
He-Man: Zoardammit, Nefty... 
Hank: Mr. He-Man, sir... Do you know where this Skeletor guy is?
He-Man: Snake Mountain, a very perilous place where even the most brave and pure hearted warriors are corrupted by madness and evil, but fear not young Hank. As the champion of Grayskull and most powerful man in the universe, I swear that I will aid you and young Miss Diana to save your friends! Come, Battle Cat! We ride to Snake Mountain!

Apr 12, 2023

Super7 and Kunoichi: a rant

With Karai and Ninja April, we have the first 2 Kunoichi in the line. I've mentioned that with some creative parts reuse, and some new pieces an Ultimates Aska is doable. In addition, with Karai, it's easier to make an Ultimates Jennika.

There's a 5th Kunoichi that could be made, in theory... the proto-Karai, Lotus Blossom. Yes, I know NECA made a Lotus Blossom. But that's a Cartoon Accurate Lotus Blossom. I'm thinking of a "What if Playmates Toys had made a Lotus Blossom figure"?  I would assume that a Playmates Lotus Blossom would be the head and limbs from Princess Mitsu and a vew torso and crotch. So, taking that into consideration, here's my recipe for a Theoretical Ultimates Lotus Blossom:
Limbs and crotch would be the same as Karai.
A new torso inspired by the toon look.
New heads:
Toon accurate head
Masked ninja head
Ponytailed head with headband (this would be a nod to the Playmates Mitsu head that would be the theoretical inspiration for the figure)

Her color scheme would be mainly grey as the toon version, but she'd have black wraps with lavender accents like belt, headband, sandals. The lavender is a tie in to her signature Lotus flower. 

For accessories: 
-Same hands as Karai
-Splinter bow and arrows
-Sewer Samurai swords, scabbard, kunai and shuriken.
-Karai's Kusarigama
-Ninja Blowgun
-Lotus Flower

I kept most of her accessories from preexisting items for the sake of having that kitbashed feel that some later figures had. 

That would complete the human Kunoichi... but not all TMNT Kunoichi are human...
Venus, Jennika, and Turtle April could potentially share the same body... I know that it would be inaccurate to Turtle April, but I'm trying to milk the hell out of the Female Turtle body. Which Playmates would've done back in the day if female turtles were introduced.

But I wonder if The Loyal Subjects first axn line getting the rights to IDW TMNT would stop Super7 from  accessing IDW Characters.

Apr 11, 2023

NECA is doing a new April figure

 Based on the TMNT Adventures story where April is turned into a Mutant Turtle.

My biggest worry is that she will be in the exaggerated art style of TMNT Adventures that doesn't go well with the Toon TMNT or thr MIRAGE TMNT... do we need to get new TMNT all over again? 

Personally, I was hoping for a non-bobblehead Toon April 2.0 or a Paige Turco April. Hell, evem a Red Sky April would've been a more interesting figure with potentially more mass appeal. In any case we need to stand by and see what is NECA cooking...

Rat King is officially out and Karai is officially in.

 We got the official notice and we have to contact Super7 if we preordered Rat King to:

-Swap him for Karai
-Keep him preordered and he'll ship with wave 11
-ask for a refund

I, of course! asked to get Karai instead. 

Hory shet she gets an actual Kusarigama in addition to the weird kama. I am slightly disappointed that they didn't use the kunai from Sewer Samurai Leo.

We get a second Unmasked head AND A third Foot Ninja head... that could be repainted and by using Ninja April's arms, a new alt. head, Ninja clawed hands (think SF2 Matador) we could have a Vintagized Jennika pre-mutation.

I wouldn't want a Legend of Zelda movie

 Despite Mario being a successful movie, a Legend of Zelda movie would be bad for one single reason: Scope.

Even the most bare bones Legend of Zelda story has a much bigger scope than Mario's. You can't condense A Legend of Zelda Story in 90 minutes, but as an animated mini series? Now there we have a LOT of potential. 
Personally, I'd rather have a new story with elements from Multiple games than a straight up adaptation of the games... I know I might get a lot of Flak from the following statement, but the DiC LoZ series should be considered as a source as well. Before you grab those pitchforks, hear me out:

-It had a non-damsel Zelda that could fight with Link by her side.
-Link was more than a silent protagonist... with the proper script and direction we could have a Link that has far much better lines than "Hah!" "Hyah!" and "Oh?" 
-it had some decent takes on classic Zelda themes that should make a comeback. (Shuki Levy, I believe, was the composer for the series.)
-Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!

Last one was a joke, but we need to sneak the like somewhere. Also the infamous CD-I: I could eat an octorock line too.

I'm going to suggest 2 people... 3 people to have small roles in this new theoretical series:

Jonathan Potts as the king of Hyrule: Yes, that's Mr. "Well Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!"

Cynthia Perston as Impa: Yes, this is the Zelda that needed to Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse Link.

Tabitha St. Germain as the Fairy Queen: I swear, this isn't a My Little Pony reference, but she played Spryte, Link's fairy companion... she was Navi before Navi was a thing. Also, the DiC Zelda was the first instance of Shield surfing in Zelda.

Again, these are smaller roles as a thank you for being among the first folks that gave life to The Legend of Zelda, outside of the NES Games. The more important roles should be given to different actors. Personally, since it's a series and not a movie, we could get specialized Voice Actors instead of random Hollywood celebrities reading their parts. 

I'd say 13 episodes 35-40 minutes long should be sufficient to tell a LoZ tale. I'd say 4 dungeons, about an episode for the last 3 dungeons, with a couple of episodes for exploring the world and getting lore. Maybe even an episode in which Link is incapacitated and Zelda has to do some heavy fighting. The idea is to have the last 3 episodes dedicated to Ganon and the aftermath of the battle. 

Items that I'd like to see would be:
Hookshot, Warp Whistle, Power Bracelet, Magic Rod, Pegasus Boots, Cane of Somaria, among others. The items would ve split up between Link and Zelda.

That's not counting things like The Master Sword,  the Bow of Light, bombs, boomerangs, arrows, and other common items. (Deku stuff, rupees, chu-jellies, etc.) 

For bosses, I'd personally stick to 2D era bosses, specifically those who haven't been graced with a 3D counterpart. 

And keep the Tingle to a minimum... unless he's voiced by Gilbert Gottfried... or Chris Tucker... shit, forgot that Gilbert is dead.