Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
I don't like the guy... BUT since we have a figure, we need the rest. Except Barron. Because if we add him, we'd need chinless baldy and his bro... Tiffany and her cousin Mary would be excluded... so Figures Toy Company get to it
I'm talking about Melania, Ivanka, Don Jr. and Eric Busey... err Trump. These can be non-talking figures.
We have most of the parts, aside the heads... and maybe a pair of soft goods items for Melania.
Ivanka:
Using the Female Wrstling Fan Body with the Female Announcer Dress in a different color. Using the Lisa feet New heads, mic, hands.
Melania:
Female fan body female referee shoes, soft goods Green Coat. Extra head, hands
Don Jr.:
Announcer body, hands alternate Clean shaven head
Eric:
Wrestling fan Eugene body, hands alternate Clean shaven head.
Bonus:
Natalie Harp:
Head, female fan body female announcer dress, lisa shoes.
That sounds interesting... wait Hack Snydurr is directing? Hit or miss. He can frame some pretty scenes, but his nuance is let's say he makes Hideo Kojima look like a subtle master...
At least he's directing and not a writer and director... right?
Knull, really? It's worse than Bleghximum Carnage. But it's better than Madame Morbius the Hunter. Hardy plays a great Eddie/Symbuyoat... I started writing this rant at the exact half point of the movie... 54:34... A confused Tom Hardy looking at the Statue of Liberty... a model dressed like it with Venom talking to him. It has had some chuckle moments, some OK action scenes, but it drags on... fuck me sideways, it drags on... and on... That's it! I'm going on a burrito run.
Wait... the hippie wife is Alana Ubach... Josie from Beakman's World... Holy shit! The Army General is the bad guy from Serenity... Black Mordo... The Hippie is Curt Connors! He grew his arm without being a Lizard. Why am I talking about the cast?And not the movie. Because I checked out. The movie did Toxin dirty... Sorry SONY DID EVERYONE Dirty.
Good riddance! Stay Away... if you have to pick between this and Kraven, pick this one... or be smart and pick none.
And he Kraved all over those guys. He Kraved so hard it made Madame Web look like a good movie. I Think Russell Crowe did half the movie drunk. The other half was phoning it in. At least when he played Zeus in Thor Love & Thunder, he was entertaining.
Kickass did a decent job as "Ser Gay" (Sergei when pronounced in Spanish sounds exactly as "being gay") as my female friend who I am totally not bumping uglies with called him. But the script did him dirty. Making Kraven a hero was a mistake.
Fuck! One of the writers in Kraven is involved with the MOTU movie... but the guy also wrote The Equalizer and the Sequel to Jack Reacharound.
Then the other two writers wrote Iron Man and Punisher Warzone... but thwy also dod Transformers The Last Knight,
Men In Black International, and Uncharted...
No wonder it stinks... too many cooks... who took a MASSIVE SHIT ON THE LORE which made the movie suck donkey dick.
You are better off watching fant4stic, Ghost bust hers, Madame Web, Morbius, the Venom Sequels... preparing my self for the last dance.
Kraven's First and Only Hunt got ruined due to a lack of Spider-Man, being shitty, and nonsensical.
Mainly Morrigan and Felicia... which are available already... but I will get those later on...
I wouldn't say no to Hsien-Ko... and Rikuo, because he is strangely handsome for a Fishman... also, do my ears deceive me or is that 200X Man at Arms playing Donovan?
Ooh Ace Attorney! I'd give my left nut for Ace Attorney statues.
Super7 may not longer make Classic TMNT Ultimates toys, but I'll look back at the vintage waves and celebrate the top 10 figures...
10: Guerrilla Gorilla:
Ape John Cena. He's a fun figure... BEEEEG But Fun!
9: Slash:
While he doesn't bring anything truly new to the table, He is Fantastic... I got four of them and he is NOT an Army Builder
8: Rat King:
I got 3 of them. The first one is to be a Mirage "inspired", the second one is Toon Inspired, and the third is Bishie Rat King who I made the estranged son of Mirage Rat King.
7:GITD Muckman: Cumman:
.While mockman was a really good figure that I ended up repainting to make it more icky, the glowing dark variant being in white plastic, made him perfect for calm jokes, and that's why he's really high on my list.
6: Wingnut:
He's just Batman... And really big, that's why he is on the list. Surprise That super 7 never made any wing nut variants based on other Batman colors...
5: Ace Duck:
Yes he's unfortunately smaller than turtles.He had a few issues with their hands connecting on the arm. Everybody knows I got him because of Shenmue references.
4: Rappin' Michelangelo:
Despite mine having a small issue, he's an amazing figure. PERIOD.
3: Shredder:
While super 7 did nothing remarkable with the figure, it was a very solid figure...
2: Vanilla Turtles:
Like most of the older waves there were very few noteworthy upgrades. Painted weapons was huge. Honestly I wish they had used Wacky Action heads for alternates.
1: Scumbug:
He may be a rip off , but it's a cool figure despite the various hiccups.But let's be honest.This list ain't in order.
NOW FOR THE 1OP 10 I WISH SUPER7 HAD TACKLED :
10: Kala:
Sure I would have liked Dask as well but c'est la vie. If I have to pick a single neutrino I pick Kala.
9: Traag:
We were robbed of Krang's, Android body... and his general too.
8: Don the Undercover Turtle:
I made a custom...
But we should've gotten an official one.
7:Heavy Metal Raph:
Just for the sake of completing the band.
6: Vernon:
Why not Irma you may be thinking:
Vernon would be the most "action" of the Channel 6 trio. Don't get me wrong, I'd like all three, but from a toyetic perspective, VERNON is the safe choice. Also, I fear rigid plastic skirts...
5: Fugitoid:
A White and Blue GITD Variant would've been neat! Hell, it would've become my main Fugitoid.
4: Krang's Android Body:
Luckily TLS made a decent one that scales with Ultimates, but I wanted an official Ultimates.
3: April The Ravishing Reporter:
Without Rooted hair, of course. Yes, it was all mostly to get extras to make GTA3 Styled hookers.
2: Scaletail:
I may hate snakes, but him would've made a bitchin' figure.
1: Pizzaface:
This, but with Ultimates articulation would have been sweet! And the Horsemen allegedly sculpted him since the early waves. Also, you KNEW Pizzaface HAD to be on this list.
Honorable mentions:
Movie Figures:
I don't Mean, the movie turtles. I mean Super Shredder Tokka Rahzar
Movie 3 Figures:
I kinda wanted Walker and Mitsu... the Latter for making an Aska.
Undercover turtles:
Or at least heads and trenchcoats to use on the vanilla turtles.
Oroku Saki and Hamato Yoshi:
Self Explanatory.
Movie TMNT have a relationship with Klassic Mortal Kombat.
Only Raiden and Sonya are the only MK1 characters who don't have adirect relationship with MOVIE TMNT... and even the OG MK movie had some involvement with TMNT... Movie Liu Kang's brother was A Turtle stunt double.
Kano and Johnny Cage (who also was the MK Ninjas) were foot Ninja, while Liu Kang and Kung Lao were Turtles. Holy shitballs!
I'm well aware of how bad it sounds, but, with him getting the Zombies and Rebel Moon canceled, he needed a break. Netflix said no and canceled yet ANOTHER of his projects. Twilight of the gods is dead. Last time Zack Snyder got a career boost was after his daughter alt+F4 herself... He milked the shit out of her death when promoting the Snydercut.
Now with 3 canceled movie universes and future projects in jeopardy, the cynic in me is wondering if Zack will try to sacrifice another child for another 15 minutes of fame. Dude is so starved for attention that he is inserting himself into conversations with "random DCEU Instagram posts" that are purposely cryptic to attract the attention of Snydertards...
Liking alternative facts regarding the DCU... Oh yeah! Snydertards are dreaming that Saudi Arabia buys Warner so they can restore the Marthaverse... all the goodwill I had for the guy and his project, The Last Photograph has been flushed down the drain due to the scorned ex bit he's doing now.
Notes:
I hope nothing happens to any of his kids and stepkids.
As November creeps up and me being far behind, I've been messing with AI for the Fanfic stuff. So... let's try a random idea compilation:
Talk Show Hosts:
Oprah, (both fat and skinny versions)
Because Oprah.
Springer comes to mind...
But if FTC made Maury Povich... we have the kids, we have the formal folks... also would motivate for new Obese bodies for ladies and long pants for men.
Voice Actors:
I'd like to have them in action figure form and drop them on the background of a display...
Then there are folks like Jim Cummings, Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Tara Strong, john DiMaggio, Quinton Flynn, Phil LaMarr, David Hayter, Jennifer Hale... and James Arnold Taylor...
Past Sports Athletes:
Basketball, Tennis, Golf, Baseball. Skateboarding, Boxing... I'd kill for a Felix Trinidad and Oscar de la Hoya figures... Ali, Frazier, Arnold Palmer, Tiger Woods, Juan Gonzalez, Barry Bonds, Roberto Clemente, Babe Ruth... you get the idea.
The following would be aimed at adult collectors:
Sex workers:
You get the idea from the OnlyFans wannabes, Gamer girls, old school cookers, strippers, pimps... and Ron Jeremy.
Have you seen the AI girlfriend ads on various platforms?
Like that. Most of them require money... like porn, why pay for stuff that can be obtained free?
Enter Reddit. I was guided to some AI story websites. I've had more fun there than the last 5 games I've played. Especially derailing stories.
Like there was this story where the Player character gets caught by his stepmother banging his stepsister. She's supposed to dominate and peg him. I got her to whip the character to the point of being hospitalized due to blood loss, then the AI decided the mother and daughter were lovers who were traveling Manhattan while the player character was ignored. Then the player character escaped the hospital through the sewers and fought Ninjas to get back to his stepfamily. Playe's character dad resurrected as a possessed zombie.
On another story, PC (player character) was being set up with a girl for a romantic date. We ended up watching The Room and making fun of it just to be attacked by mimes... not just any mimes, NINJA mimes. The AI added the ninja to my guiding mime prompt.
Then there was the one where PC has sex with a girl and has to meet her father.
Forces PC to fight in one to one combat.
One time I had the PC pull an Autumn Snyder and have the AI character try to hide the body.
Other times the AI goes on a fritz. In the end it's a bit scary. How artificial intelligence can "adapt".
The recent acquisition of the Hamberderman, the Covfefe guy, MAGA's favorite President, Mail Order Bride Connoisseur, Donald Trump! I have been thinking: We Need Historical Figures from Worldwide Leaders:
Like say;
Macron
Trudeau
King Charles
Queen Elizabeth
Gorbachev
Putin
Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Un
Shinzo Abe
Fidel Castro
Hugo Chavez
Hirohito
Il Duce
Stalin
Churchill
FDR
Truman
JFK
LBJ
Saddam
I don't need to say his name, but you know who I'm talking about.
Nelson Mandela
Xing Pi
But let's be honest: I don't give a damn about half that list... let's do the ones *I* want:
Gorbachev
Putin
Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Un
Castro
JFK
Saddam
Obama
Bill Clinton
Dubya
Biden
du weißt wer... No need to say his name.
Gorbachev is obvious: Red Cyclone ending.
Putin is obvious... if we also got a Comrade Seagal better.
Kim Jong Il is obvious, but I'rr add his chird, so he isn't ronery.
Castro is just to be ironic and have American Capitalist Pigs profiting off his image.
JFK is for a backdoor Marilyn Monroe release with soft goods dress...
Saddam would be just used to hearing most of my life that Castro and Saddam are villains, so... here we are.
Obama and Biden mainly for the memes
Bill Clinton... Do I EVEN NEED to explain WHY I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A BILL CLINTON ACTION FIGURE!? I already have Mr. Grab'em by the Pussy. I need Mr
Coochiegar smoker to complete the Super Epstein Buddies.
Dubya... well, He would be a great Babysitter for Karen... Who I finally did give her a slight repaint on her hair. Now none of the FTC Figures save Tariffman, have gotten a repaint... (he might get one later.)
There are other political figures that weren't country leaders that I'd be interested in, like Eva Perón, Ilona Staller, Lady Diana, Bernie Sanders, Elon Musk, AOC, Hillary Clinton, among others.
Yes, the unmentionable one would be the biggest punching bag in my action figure collection. You know who I'm talking about, right?
I'm having so much inappropriate fun with the Trump action figure that I want more world figures to be irreverent to.
I recently ranted about Donald Trump the Action figure. I want to expand on this:
I would Like for FTC to expand on this line, but not necessarily with talking figures. I'd like to see those 6.5"-7.0" figures. I specify thsi scale because FTC has MEGO styled dolls of various presidents and other politicians. I mean from George Washington all the way to Joe Biden and even Senator Bernie Sanders.
That's important because it means that not just Presidents are getting made.
Presidents I'd like to see:
Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Bill Clinton, George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden. I didn't mention Trump because he already has a figure. So hakuna your tatas, MAGA crew.
Other Political figures I'd like to see:
Rafael Eduardo Cruz, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Sarah Palin, Mike Pence, Bob Dole, Ross Perot, Mitt Romney, Kamala Harris, Dick Cheney, and Vermin Supreme.
You know you want him... As an action figure, not as President.
Even though it would be a Mind-blowing choice,Neither Kennedy nor Lincoln will be on this list.
Personally, I'm sticking to 1980s up to now, because Picking 1700s and 1800s candidates would require new sculpts also, I'm avoiding JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Ford, and Carter. JFK for obvious reasons. LBJ would be cool of we had a 7 inch Naked Snake. Jimmy Carter would disapprove getting an action figure... Ford, he was there during a shitty time and is forgettable...
Nintendo has officially put Mario in the Friendzone.
That reminds me so much of
But there have been instances where the "friendship" seems more like something else. I'm not saying they're FWB, but there must be some sort of benefits if Mario is doing all that shit. No fat dude is gonna do all the shit Mario goes through... but it's not all doom for the fat plumber/doctor/hero...
I was gonna mention that, Daisy...
Stop it! Daisy was the Princess Mario saves i. SUPER MARIO LAND 1. Fans usually paired her with Luigi, due to Peach being Mario's girl friend.
But there's Pauline, the OG... but of Mario is into longest, Rosalina.
So, will Nintendo let Mario cool his noodle or will he be stuck in the Friendzone?
Why is it so wrong for Peach and Mario to be a couple?
Like we all know Mikey (and by extent the other 3) help April because they're horny teens and they hope their favorite JILF becomes a JIF.
TMNT × SbtB. We had Cobra Kai, Street Fighter, Stranger Things...
This line-up would be on the 6-inch scale BUT will feature new sculpts for the turtles:
Essentially the Remastered Turtles with New heads:
Don, Mike, Raph using the Wacky Action head expressions. Leo using the Storage shell head expression... all remastered with the bumps and stuff. That way, the turtles are shorter than the humans... but Playmates can feel free and make new thighs and biceps to add slightly more articulation. In fact redo the whole legs.
For the SbtB folks they would be new sculpts:
These would be the looks I'd go for the guys:
Slater's was specifically chosen since it would be a Repaint of the Casey sculpt with new forearms and feet.
For the ladies:
Lisa's outfit was chosen for a reason: it would be a reuse of the April sculpt. Yes, the April for this Crossover would be a version inspired by the Ravishing Reporter version. Of course, this would mean that Lisa would be a wave 2 release... just like Slater.
Wave 3 would be the final two turtles and Bayside students.
Accessories are easy:
Turtles:
Signature weapons
Casey:
Removable mask, bat
April:
Mic, Camera
Zack:
Cellphone, plastic lifesize Kelly Kapowski standee.
Kelly:
Duffel bag with implied baby brother inside, bat.
Jessie:
books. I wanted caffeine pill bottle, but they would say no.
Lisa:
Shopping bags,
Screech:
Spaghetti sauce flask, wired microphone
Slater:
Shoebox with dead lizard
The premise is simple: Burne sent April as an undercover reporter to a school in California where an Alien sighting allegedly happen. (Reference to the Season w episode: Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind). Casey tags along because he can use this as a chance to relive the glory days, since in California 15 year Olds look like 32 year old has-beens. (Reference how teens are played by really old adults)
The lineup could be expanded with Mr. Belding, Tori, other teachers, and get some TMNT folks that aren't necessarily Turtles, Splinter, Shredder. For example, a Burne and Mr. Tuttle could share a lot of body parts... but the hidden evil reason is a Max vs Pizzaface pack.
We're adding Alpha stuff to this mess. Seriously, this movie is scaring me with all the crap being revealed. Yes, the 90s movie had wrong nationalities... like Native American Sagat, MexiKen, and Filipino-American Akuma
But at least the actors resembled their characters! So far the only Good Casting choice I've seen is Jimmy Momoa. Blanka's real name is Jimmy.
But no cast choice has surpassed the awfulness of ugly ass Taboo as Vega in The Legend of Chun Li.
I'm in a mixed bag here. I don't love it, but I don't hate it. The director is the guy from Chip 'n Dale movie... and various specials for SNL. The other two writers were the writers for CnD and Doolitle... that last part is scary.
Also Seth McFarlane is producing. So that might explain why it's Neeson season.
Also, it's a sequel, as you can see in the trailer
I'm a bit wary be cause it's current year and current year tends to dislike non-squeaky clean comedy.
Hideo three inches of doom Kojima is confused by the MCU.
Hideo fucking Kojima as in the creator of the Metal Gear Saga, and Temu Metal Gear QWOP Amazon Prime Simulator is fucking confused about the MCU.
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!
Kojima, Mr. Can't tell a straightforward story without having you to stop playing in order to read hours of supplemental material so you can have a SLIGHT idea of what's going on, got lost because he's refused to watch supplemental material that gives you an idea of what's going on?
Holy asscrackers, I never thought I would ever reference. Alanis Morissette.
The Christmas Chronicles... how did I miss out on this!?
Of course, that's what my brain sees. Snake Plissken as Santa Claus. Not gonna lie. I would love to have a Kurt Russell, as Santa figure and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus.
But before I go on an action figure tirade, I should give a brief synopsis of the movie:
Family movie, dead parent, rebellious teenage son, kid daughter who still believes in Santa, she blackmails brother into waiting for Santa, they catch Santa, Shenanigans ensue, Christmas is in danger now Plissken Claus and the two children have to save Christmas.
It surely beats The Santa Clause trilogy by having Plissken as Santa and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus.
Movie is on Netflix if you're inclined to watch. There's a sequel, which I need to see.
But seriously, Super7, NECA, 7" Kurt Russell Santa... while we're at it, NECA, Escape from New York/LA articulated figures, when?
But at the same time it's hard to explain. If I told you it was an anime of a semi popular girl who believes in ghosts who befriends a Nerd who believes in aliens, but they discover both are real, does nothing to you. If I add a dick eating ghost that sounds like Rita Repulsa, and Horny Aliens that want to have sex with Earth girls...
It's a Rom Com with a dash of Creepy Horror and Shonen anime fights... One could say it's Ranma½'s spiritual creepy successor... from a certain point of view.
Now I have to tackle Burrito and Dragon Ball Super...
But seriously, Turbo Granny is Rita Repulsa... in the English dub...
