Nov 30, 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventures, a rant

 I have commented that I've been watching JoJo on Netflix. On December 1st starts part 6 starring Jotaro Kujo's daughter. This means that I have been binge watching Golden Wind to catch up... well, as of the time of me writing this rant, I still have 3 episodes to go. Fuck Giorno Giovana, Fuck Dio, Fuck this boring ass part sideways! To say I hate Golden Wind is the understatement of the century. So, Giorno is a bastard child of Dio. A Dio Jr. Is running the streets and Jotaro sends Koichi Hirose... let's roll da ho! I mean clip!

That Koichi... so he goes to Italy, meets Dio Jr who twlls him that he wants to become the Godfather in order to stop the drug trade in Italy... so Koichi leaves and tells Jotaro to forget about Dio Jr. Then the whole Son of Dio thing is no longer relevant. Giorno gets recruited into the mob that happens to be the only famiglia in Italy to have stand users... because joJo. So Giorno gets recruited by Bruno Buccellati and his inferior Stardust Crusaders. They get a Mission to deliver the Boss's daughter to the boss at a safe place while being hunted by stand using traitors. Buccellati betrays the boss at the last minute because the boss wanted to kill his own daughter. One dude from the crew stays behind because reasons and is never heard from again. Now they're on the run from the boss while hunting down the boss and Polnareff shows up talking about aliens and now they need the arrow that gave people stands in part 4 to create a super stand to stop The Boss who has a Za Warudo v.2.0...  

The plot has a couple of points that lead nowhere. Son of Dio, very little pay-off. Fugo abandoning the team to stay with the famiglia led nowhere. Even Buccellati's bizarre condition was made an even bigger deal than it truly was. But my biggest issue is Giorno Giovana himself... he was a side character in his own series. The protagonist was Buccellati, not Giorno. Unlike say, Joseph Joestar, whose attitude becomes endearing.

It's  not BAAAAAD, it's just that it doesn't "click" with me. I kept watching hoping it wiuld get better but it never did... I watched the final 3 episodes I had to watch and they were pretty underwhelming... no real resolutions, the villain wasn't that great. I may have opened up to oart 4... blame Act 3, some of the music and the guy who faps to the Mona Lisa...

 Hopefully part 6 is better. 

Nov 29, 2021

I didn't feel welcome at all in Raccoon

It was a much better experience than the time I went with Leeloo Dallas Multipass... I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I've hated the Milla Jovovich Resident Evil movies. Well, this one is still awful... Sure, it's better than the Jovovich, but that's like saying Street Fighter 1994 is better than Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. And there's a common denominator here: Capcom Reboot with Neal McDonough as the villain... a surefire sign that your movie is crap... nothing against Neal McDonough as a person, or as an actor, since his Damien Dhark was a delightful villain on the CW We can't afford to have Batman in here so let's go with the verdant knock-offverse.

This Bastardization KNOWS Resident Evil Lore and there were elements that show some sort of reverence to the games... but at the same time, by trying to cram Resident Evil, Resident Evil 2, and Resident Evil 3: Nemesis into one  107 minute film was a HUMONGOUS Mistake. 

If you needed MORE than 1 game to adapt into a movie, here's how you should've done it:
Resident Evil: Zero AND Resident Evil. Then The sequel would've dealt with Resident Evil 2 and 3, which happen roughly simultaneously.

I know Leon was a rookie during RE2 but being a Rookie doesn't automatically mean being a dumbass. Avan Jogia played Leon like a nickelodeon character for a Dan Schneider series...
The Jill/Wesker thing was ridiculous bullshit!!
Not only Jill and Wesker were horribly miscast with a horrible chemistry... there was much better chemistry between Chris and Claire.
Also, woth Leon the Dumbass, Claire becomes the Strong Independent Woman trope.

They wasted Ada Wong for a cameo with Wesker when he FINALLY gets his glasses.
No Rebecca Chambers and worst of all, no Barry Burton... since there is no Barry, we miss out on the MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF RESIDENT EVIL 1!!

Sure, there is a scene with "Jill" and a sandwich but it's not the "Jill Sandwich" scene.
The movie HAD potential but for the sake of "current year" trends, they screwed up. I guess the second movie will deal with Not Spain, because that would be the next game in the series. Code Veronica is pointless since Claire already found Chris.

Honestly you should have go to the cinema to watch this, but once it hits DVD and streaming knock yourself out.

Nov 27, 2021

Black Friday is already over

 And it was a dud of a day. Despite social distancing and the other COVID-19 related mandates, the retail free-for-all brawls still happened... People still fought for craptacular discounts on items. Hell even online retailers had disappointing Black Friday sales... Marvel Legends figures from last year AT LAST YEAR RETAIL PRICE!! So, basicay $2 less than it would cost now... very economy... much savings... wow... sorry that I went Doge for a moment there. 

Electronics didn't look that hot either... no consoles, very little games, and absolutely Zero controllers for Switch and PS4... to be fairon Wednesday I actually lucked out on a PS4 controller... oh, well technically not me, but a friend...  but that means my Left Joy Con is still DK...
No toys or games to claim a Black Friday victory but it's OK... I have Fisto explaining his desires of how he desires to manually stimulate Skeletor's prostate with his iron glove...

This Cavalcade of Consumerism,  this Celebration of Excess left me empty handed. Even Walgreens was devoid of action figures... I'm on the hunt for the recent release of Dick Rider Nova. No Moon Knight, nor Iron Man 2020... They finally got rid of the Moonstars and Emmas though.

Right now the Advent Calendar isn't looking that hot... unless I make it 24 days of Marvel Legends and even I don't want to do that. I did see the TMNT vs Cobra Kai toys, but they look even worse in person. Also the only ones available were the ones with Johnny Lawrence and Daniel Larusso. I do have a couple of items in the back burner like the MacFarlane Witcher Eredin Breacc Glas figure, ATLAB Appa, and the Diamond Select ATLAB figures, so maybe it won't be purely Marvel Legends. 
I think I may have a NECA figure or more if NECA gets my Ace Duck 2pack and the Movie Foot ninja two pack sometime before December 12. Sadly MOTU won't have a presence because MASTERVERSE ARE MIA Offline. Hell, Mattel might not have any presence since no JP stuff has made it offline. 
They haven't made any WWE figures that I'd like... I want a 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain Hulk Hogan as Dave Dragon figure... or a Suburban Commando Hulk Hogan... make it a two pack with Undertaker...
I don't know if Super7 will send any of the delayed stuff (Thulsa Doom from wave 3 of Conan, TMNT Wave 4, Thundercats wave 2, Thundercats Cheetara from wave 3, etc.) I don't know if Walmart will ever send me the Jason Todd I ordered in July or August... or if BBTS will ever get the Valaverse Sgt. Slaughter... wait, I DO Have a Joe figure to review!!

Nov 25, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving 2021 from The House of rants

 I want to wish my roughly 20 or so loyal readers a Happy Thanksgiving if you're on the US or territories that have absorbed 'Murican culture... for those of you from everywhere else, Happy Last Thursday of November! 

In the nature of the Sanitized version of the Holiday, I am thankful for many things... that includes tha bad, sadly... they are meant to serve as a stepping stone to achieve greatness...  as in becoming the best version of Me as I can be. I'm just an asshole with a blog, so no Great World Leader here. I'm just trying to be a better person. The good have helped me see that striving to be a better person can yield results.

Anyway, the fowl has been eaten and due to greater responsibilities, the retail madness shall be avoided this year... My ears might not be ready, but Mariah Carey can officially begin her torture... I already saw her shitty movie!! I might review a few Christmas movies between now and the end of this year's Advent Calendar...

Nov 24, 2021

Ridley Scott is super out of touch with reality

 First he bitched about the MCU being boring and that he makes better superhero movies... newsflash he hasn't made any superhero movie... or a not boring movie in 20+ years. Seriously, when you're  the guy who made Alien: Covenant and Prometheus, you kinda lose any credibility to bitch about other movies... also, let's remember that one of his hits was a flop when it came out and it was during multiple "versions" of a Dorectoe's cut that it became a hit and the "good version of the film" was released in 2007, 25 years after it flopped. Also, also, Gladiator is not a good movie...

But that's not why I'm here to rant about. I'm going to rant about Ridley Scott's latest meltdown regarding his latest flop. Before I continue, I better make something clear... Ridley Scott's biggest problem is bad scripts. The guy made a snoozefest out of Robin Hood. How can you screw up Robin Hood!? With a bad script, that's how.  But a so-so script can be saved by an Actor's performance... like say, Tim Curry as Darkness in Legend.

So, back on topic: Ridley Scott's The Last Duel is underperforming. He blames Millennials... you know, people born between 1980-1994... people who are from 26-41. Something about their cellphones being the reason they don't care about his movie... Well, that's some grade A-Bullshit, since first, Gen Z is the generation that was latched to a smartphone since childhood. Millennials, especially the younger ones only had those old indestructible nokias whose greatest achievement was playing Snake. They graduated to flip phones at the start of Junior High... also, Most Millennials are OVER THIRTY FUCKING YEARS OLD!!

The trailer looks boring as fuck! Only history nerds and medieval fantasy folks would show a slight interest on this... and even then, they'd tread carefully because of the name Ridley Scott... Gladiator has aged badly and Robin Hood was boring as hell... I guess that admitting that I fell asleep watching it wouldn't help hos case.

I had seen the trailers long before I got entangled in Greater responsibilities, and I wasn't to hyped for the movie. Sadly the local family run theater closed a while back and had it been open, I wouldn't have gone seen this there. After Robin Hood and The Martian (where I also fell asleep), I swore not to watch a Ridley Scott movie in theaters.

Also, it's coming to Disney+ in December... why pay extra to watch it at a movie theater if I already have Disney+... and I'm able to watch it on a cellphone, just to spite Ridley Scott.

Nov 23, 2021

Masters of the Universe Revelation pt2: Did Scott Neitlich work on the story?

 Yikes doesn't begin to cut it. Part 2 was a mess. Hulk, LOTR, crude remarks based on immature humor like mine. This part was far worse than part one... I didn't love Part One, nor hated it, but part 2 made me "a hater".
Actual line of the show...
There is also another one of Skeletor wanting to chop off Duncan's MAN-AT-ARMS... the MAN-AT-ARMS being his penis.
Yes, that's Evil-Lyn dryhumping Skeletor. Skeletor fucks...

The Power of Boners is stronger than Skeletor's desire to master the Power of Grayskull 

The Andra rumor was false... but she ends up as the new MAN-AT-ARMS, mostly because Teela became Sorceress.

The No He-Man until the final episode is technically true. We do get Adam for the most part... Eps 6, 8, 9, 10. Hulk is on eps. 6 and 7. Proper He-Man is on Episode 10. So we only get He-Man in 2 Episodes out of 10.

Thank Goodness for Liam Cunningham, Susan Eisenberg, and Lena Heady... they have to carry Sarah Michelle Gellar in all the emotional scenes. Yes, Buffy is still the worst thing about Revelation castwise...

Did anyone even bother to tell Mark Hamill that he was playing Skeletor and not The Joker? I don't mean his voice. I mean his characterization. There was no difference between his Skeletor and Arkham Knight Joker in characterization.

What kind of Gandalf Bullshit is this!?
Also, Orko dying is confirmed.

What's with all these Pop Culture references. I kinda understand ripping off Gandalf but I wouldn't have made it that obvious by making Orko White.  But the cringiest line was by Alicia Silverstone.
How CLUELESS do you have to be to have a Queen behave like a 15 year old Valley Girl?

How do you make out with someone without lips? REVELATION answers that. We get a dryhumping makeout session between Evil-Lyn and Skeletor. You saw the dryhumping already, but the making out with a skull thing is GIF worthy.

Want to know what's worse than a Skelegod?
A He-Vil-Lyn
The cringe... is so hard... How can we up the Cringe?
Skeletor pulling off a Joker?
Nah, that's not cringy enough... I need something far more Cringier... like Sharing the Power of Grayskull type of Bullshit:
New and "improved" half-width Vegan Crybaby Kevin Smith: Say no more...

Not only He-Man shares the power with Skeletor of all people, He-Vil-Lyn turns Beastman into a Battlecat type of steed, who I call Battle Bitch, because from Apeman he turns into a dog and gets his ass beaten by the much smaller Battle Cat. But the sharing keeps going on with a Buffy Reference. Remember how Buffy "shared the power" of the Vampire Slayer?

Well, she does something similar and shares the power of the Sorceress with Eternia in order to not be bound to the Castle. She has a DBZ type of fight with He-Vil-Lyn and then talks her out of being Evil-Lyn in order for her to become Good-Lyn.

Evil-Lyn, who killed all the souls in Heaven by destroying Heaven; thus eliminating half of the Eternian Afterlife, Helll was left intact; ends up in Trolla... No punishment for her evil deeds, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?

I wish I could say it wasn't a total trainwreck, but this mini series suffers from the same issues Neitlich had: 
-Bad pacing with meandering plot points that led nowhere and a rush to attempt tie loose ends when they ran out of episodes.
-Killing characters for the sake of being edgy.
-Blatantly ripping off other media with enough non-subtlety that even Hideo Kojima has to say:

Did I mention that Clamp Champ and Fisto show for a minute in order to be zombified, killed, and have their souls destroyed by Skeletor?

Sure, using Blade, Pigboy, and Goatman was cool, but the bad outweighs the good.

So how can I review this?
It's hard because I LOVE the property. I UNDERSTAND why some choices were made, despite disagreeing with them.

CGI Netflix
FILMATION (He-Man and She-Ra)
Netflix She-Ra 

Yes, I rated the CGI series higher than Filmation, because despite me liking filmation a bit more comes from the fact that CGI He-Man not following Traditional MOTU canon and having a cringy song, it's a well made show that respects MOTU despite going in a different direction. New adventures is rated higher than revelation for a similar reason. While yes, New Adventures has some cringy lines in "current year" they are pretty normal in a late 80s-early 90s context. 
But despite of Revelation taking massive shits on MOTU continuity, it's far more respectful to the source material than Netflix She-Ra. The writing is just as bad, but it's obvious that more people working on Revelation had knowledge of MOTU lore than the people working on fake She-Ra.

Nov 22, 2021

Thundercats wave 6 speculation... Where do we go now?

 With Bengali and Vultureman, Super7 is nearly done with the Thundercats and Mutants factions. Missing are The Thunderkittens, Snarf, and Snarfer. For the Mutants Ratilla and Ratar-O round up the faction. I don't see them making the generic troop building Jackal Men, the Reptile Men, or the Ape Men... 

So, we're now at a crossroad. How do we go on forward when only the Bad Guys have plenty or teams to fill... Wave 5 teased the Berzerkers with Hammerhand. We haven't received a Lunatak yet. We also have One-off villains like Mongor. Sure we have Willa, Nayda, and the Warrior Maidens, Hachiman, Mandora the Evil Chaser, 

Sure, we CAN split the Thunderkittens and Snarf to keep the next 3 waves "afloat" but where are we going afterwards? 
Exodus nudist versions of the Thundercats? Clothed Child Lion-O? Stealth Tygra? Hammerhand Panthro with Thermochromic paint that changes from grey to brown?

With no idea what the future holds, here are my top combinations for a potential wave:

A Thunderkitten
An Ally to the Thundercats
A Rat
A Berzerker

A Thunderkitten
An Ally to the Thundercats
A Berzerker
A Lunatak

A Thunderkitten
An Ally to the Thundercats
A Berzerker
A One-Off Villain

A Thunderkitten
An Ally to the Thundercats
A Lunatak
A One-Off Villain

Now who would fill those slots is the real question.

If the Ally to the Thundercats, the Lunatak, or the One-Off villain is female, the Thunderkitten is Wilykat.
If all of the non-Thunderkitten slots are male, then Wilykit is the wave's Thunderkitten.

Ally to the Thundercats:
Based on the LJN toyline, Hachiman, Bill or Bert of the Berbils, and Tuska Warrior would be the only available characters. Out of those Hachiman might be the top choice... since this line is cartoon based, Mandora and Willa have higher chances to make it... I mean it's highly unlikely that a moderate group would want Wolos.

Now for the villains we have plenty of choices:
For the Lunataks, all are fair game, BUT Chilla and Alluro seem to be the ones with most chances for making it first due to their close to normal proportions.

Berzerkers are a bit tougher, since they all require plenty of specialized parts. Only Top Spinner and Ram Bam might make it sooner due to their size... Cruncher is HUUUGE!

The random villains have plenty of choices, Mongor, Driller, Safari Joe, Captain Shiner, Enflamer, just to name a few.
My desire to have Mongor is not a secret in this blog... with that said, Driller and Safari Joe might have some high chances of making it.

Then we have the curve balls... just as we saw with Pumm-Ra, the Lion-Jesus and Captain Saltine American, Super7 CAN and WILL throw some curveballs like say the Terator, because of the infamous bloopers... they made a Meme Prince Adam. Wouldn't be surprised to see Mumm-Ra disguised as King Arthur...

So, here's  what a potential wave 6 would look like depending on the Category.
One of the Thunderkittens
Hachiman or Mandora
Top Spinner or Ram Bam
Chilla or Alluro
Driller or Safari Joe

MOTU Revelation pt.2 starts in a couple of hours...

 And some less than pleasant rumors have surfaced. The rumors were "correct" about He-Man not being on the show aside Episodes 1 and 5... No, having Flashbacks doesn't really  count as He-Man being in every epsiode. Since the plot is literally moved forward by the "DEATH OF HE-MAN/ADAM". What the rumors got wrong was the sapphic telationship between Andra and Teela. With that said a few screenshota here and there taken out of context can look like they were lovers. There I blame Powerhouse's animation style.

Orko's "death" was "correct" but at the same time it wasn't, since we can't truly claim that he "died" especially with the trailer for part 2 showing he's back.

There have been 2 BIG rumors regarding part 2:

One states that He-Man ends up dying again or surrendering the power completely in order for a new female and black champion to rise... I Don't trust this rumor, but since it's "current year" and recent tendencies in Western Media have had male characters being replaced by females, I can't fully ignore it.

The Other Rumor states that like in Part 1, He-Man is a no-show for most of the series. Coupled with the Hulk Smash He-Man we've seen (spoiled by the toys), this one seems more likely.

I honestly hope that part 2 doesn't suck. Part one wasn't awful, but it wasn't great either... but it would be hilarious if part 2 ends up being as the rumors stated just for the sake of seeing a couple of peoples'heads implode after Kevin Smith promoted attacks on bloggers and YouTube channels that spoke about these rumors. I HOPE not, but if it does happen,  I might as well have a laugh. 

It's not like we have an Eternian Sailor Scout...

I guess we'll find out in a couple of hours.

Super7 wave 5? Of Thundercats? Out now...

 Looks like all I need is Snarf to quit... unless the Thunderkittens make the Mattel ones look like shit.

Is this a teaser for the $950 Cat's Lair?

As you can see this wave is loaded with bad guys. 3 to 1 and the good guy is the worst Thundercat of all, whom was bought ASAP since he "completes the roster" not counting Snarf... though I have Amaro's not a toy but conversational display piece Snarf as a placeholder. 

Mirror Lion-O is the most underwhelming of the bunch. He's normal Lion-O but made in a pinless body. He only brings forth a new version of The Claw Shield. I'm willing to bet that super7 will eventually release a blue Lion-O repaint with the new claw Shield. 

Hammerhand is a bit Underwhelming because he's Toon based. The LJN Hammerhand was 10 tomes more impressive... swore he couldn't stand and the wires connecting his mechanical arm to his body broke easily, but that fist was impressive. It even made Monsieur Poing Super Combat look wimpy.

All he has is a gun and 2 dime bags... 3 left hands and 1 right hand. I honestly don't get why they didn't make the giant hand with articulated fingers. (Saving money most likely)

Vultureman comes in third place... I need him because he completes the Mutants... Fuck Ratar-O's family. Right out of the bat it looks like he'll get Hasbro Elbows. It also looks like he might not get an ab crunch and his shoulder articulation where is me due to his design. That "fur collar" WILL GET IN THE WAY.

He has 2 heads, 6 hands, 2 guns, a voice changer, the super potion, screwdriver, wrench, pliers, because he's the "Anti-Panthro".

Last but not least we have the worst character of the bunch, but is the best figure of the bunch.

Bengali comes with his hammer, an anvil and a pedestal, a red hot reforged sword of Omens, a piece of ore, extra head and 8 extra hands.

 If you bought Grune, then you can have Bengali fix that broken sword of Omens.

With Snarf I'm out... now they're gonna keep him hostage till 2024. I'm avoiding the Berzerkers becauae they will become expansive. Same for the Lunataks... Sure, Alluro, Red-Eye and Chilla might be $55 figures, but Tug Mug and Amok will be far more expensive.

Ghostbusters Afterlife is the Ghostbusters 3 we deserved... or 4 if we count the PS3 era videogame ideogame

 Unlike the 2016 parody, this one respects the lore and characters. It's not perfect and has a couple of issues, like Star Wars Force Awakens, this movie tries to recreate the first movie's magic to the point that you can Kinda See plenty of similarities between this and 1984's classic. There are a few cringy lines to point out that Spengler's granddaughter is painfully awkward in social situations.

There are plenty of callbacks to the original movie.  Now I'm super torn because I want to talk about the movie, but I can't because I don't want to spoil things.
This reference from the original movie could be considered a spoiler... when another callback to the original movie happened, I actually quoted the Nostalgia Critic...

Zuul motherfucker, Zuul!!

Ironically, it's biggest strength is it's biggest flaw. Nostalgia. This movie is not a "starting point" for a franchise despite being "a starting point" for the next generation. And of course, it's getting unfair criticism because it ignores the 2016 parody.  Just watch the movie.

Nov 21, 2021

A Batman videogame: random thoughts

 I got the Arkham Duology for PS4... which are ports of the PS3 Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Therefore, beating them made replay Arkham Knight. This made me think:
Sure, Arkham Knight is decent except for the stupid car... but we need something new, something better. I know Gotham Knights is coming, but that's a different continuity from the Arkham games. A new continuity is what we need for a cool Batman game.

Arkham nailed the fighting and the investigation parts up to a point.  But "Gotham City" ended up being "a slightly larger Arkham City". In fact while the PS4 can handle more people than PS3, Arkham feels lifeless. A HUUUUUUUUGE contrast from the start of the game. Yes I'm aware that use that bl
Plot contrivance to not have any civilians in the game because of the wrecking ball behavior of the car.

What I'd like to see in a Batman Game:
A Full Gotham City... From stately Wayne Manor all the way to... you know what, I'll  be greedy... I want Gotham, its outskirts and Blüdhaven, just to get some Dick in action. I'm talking about Grayson! Hell, I want to start the game at Wayne Manor, see the Bat Signal, go to the Batcave

Then drive all the way to GCPD... (fisrt time in cutscene, then we could do it manually during gameplay)

-More Gotham means more Batman... and his Bruce Wayne disguise. I know that "Bruce Segments" would be boring, but some gameplay rewards could be implemented as a reward for enduring some BW time. The idea is to juggle Bruce and Batman. Not to mention getting an achievement/trophy by having Bruce Wayne visit Crime Alley at the exact date and time that his parents were killed. The Nu52 date is June 26 at 10:27 PM.

-More Detective work. I liked the few Crime Scene investigations with Batman. I want to see more of those. Hell, I want more Brain teasers from Riddler that are not mazes for me to exploit gameplay elements.

-Make the Batcave RELEVANT. Not just the one under Stately Wayne Manor. I know that Panessa Studios kinda functiomed as a Bat Bunker in Arkham Knight. Having the upgrades only available at a safehouse might be "annoying" but it's "more realistic". Hell, I would make Manual saving having Batman/Bruce do one of his Microsleeps.

-Have Most of the Bat Family... Dick, Barbara, Tim, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Jason... Sequel should deal with The Demon's Butthole. Not all members are playable, but they're involved with the story.

-Guests from the DC Universe: I'm talking Green Arrow, Black Canary, not the other 2/3 of The Trinity. But some members of the League or the Titans could appear. The idea is to tease a full DC Universe beyond the indirect nods.
For example, as Batman, you're working on a case and Barry pops up to point out that Batman is needed on League Duty. Batman uses Barry's speed and Criminology knowledge to solve a case and lets Dick or Tim to tie the loose ends as he goes to deal with League stuff. The idea is to have certain character specific "missions/stages/episodes" where you use a Bat Family Member that is NOT Batman. Think the GTA 5 dynamic. Say, on game 1 Batman, Nightwing, Huntress and Robin are playable. Game 2 has Batman, Spoiler, Tim and Damian playable, and game 3 has Nightwing, Orphan, and Azrael playable... in addition to Batman.

But I honestly don't know what I want...

Nov 20, 2021

Netflix's Buckaroo Rocksteady is no Cowboy Bebop...

 I guess it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and their stuff together... OK 3,2,1 let's jam! 

Let me get this out of the way:
I haven't seen the WHOLE season, so far I've seen the first two episodes and my thoughts are based on those episodes.

Jon Cho is too old and not athletic enough for Spike. Some fight scenes look good, but others look like something out of 3 Ninjas. Other than that, he's borderline acceptable as a much older Spike Spiegel... not even once while watching the 2 episodes did the "MILF!" chant cross my mind... neither did going to White Castle with Neil Patrick Harris. While we're at it, Kumar is gay. Kal Penn, the Kumar half of Harold and Kumar is gay. Why am I dropping this here? No idea. I'm just looking for stuff to ramble about that don't involve Netflix's bastardization of Cowboy Bebop.

Mustafa Shakir plays a decent Barret Wallace... with hints of Jet Black. I know that Jet's VA was the same as Advent Children's Barret, but that doesn't mean that Jet js Barret. With that said, he actually gives a good performance despite the material he is given. I mentioned that Jet and Barret shared their VA... did you know that Spike Spiegel is the same VA as Vincent Valentine? Talk about Final Fantasy references... I can make a Naruto version with Spike who is also Orochimaru and Faye who is also Moegi... (and Xianghua, and Haruhi Suzumiya, and Athena Cykes...) which brings us to the worst part of the show.

Daniela Pineda being awful was expected and she did not disappoint... She was awful. They basically took out everyrhing that made Faye, well, Faye and replaced it with a generic SFC. Faye is not a "tough action girl". Faye is more of a smooth talking scammer. Here she goes hand to hand against Spike and is able to fend off his attacks quite easily... Spike who has YEARS of Martial Arts training and general assassination skills from The Syndicate has a tough time trying to fend off a mostly amnesiac girl  (more like a grandma teapped in a 30-something body.) who was recently unfrozen from Cryogenic treatment.

The visuals are a mixed bag. Some are very colorful like the anime, others seen to have the color sucked out of them like a Zack Snyder movie... while we're at it, half the time there are some really good sets, the other half, bad green screen work that is too obvious... did they run out of budget while filming? Because half the time the series looks like an actual series and the other half looks like a Student film project.

The writing... I'm already on episode 3 and oh my! The cringy dialogue is strong with this one... couple of dick jokes, plenty of colorful language, they even make a black male blackmail joke. That's not counting how they raped BeBop's non-story with a story...
Jet gets a daughter because reasons.
Spike gets his past catching up to him in the most unsubtle ways that make a certain Kojima seem subtle. They made a cowardly bitch out of Vicious... They also butchered Gren and made him into a character that looks like a cross dressing stereotype instead of a man damaged by the side effects of a medication that pumped ridiculous amounts of estrogen into his body, which feminized some of his features... (mainly boobs)... Live action Gren (who might not have any backstory with Vicious) kinda looks like Andrea Rhodea from FFVIIR... Julia is now alive, married to Whiny Vicious, and is a victim of domestic violence... probably if season 2 is made  we'll discover some bullshit about her being the ultimate bad guy who manipulated Spike and Vicious all along. Devoid of color, misses the piint of the original, ridiculously edgier and cringy, and it takes far too long to tell a story that the anime did in 24 minutes? Is this a Zack Snyder series?

I wish I could say it's a totaldisaster or a train wreck, but it TRIES to be Cowboy Bebop a bit too hard and the results end up looking like a cheap parody, then it also TRIES to be its own thing and not follow the anime at a 1:1 ratio, but ends up looking bland, generic and completely misses the mark on what the True Cowboy Bebop was trying to say...

So far there is no Edward, but going by what I've seen of Faye and Julia, I have no faith on what will they do to Ed... 

Supposedly, that's the official Netflix version of Ed... I feel sorry for the child actor playing Ed, because I already have a bad feeling that I will hate their take on Ed... I hope Ed is a weird girl and that they don't turn her into a genderfluid non-binary person with over 200 labels  whose pronouns are Ed... Before anyone tries to use the usual "conversation ender insults" I don't care is the person playing Ed is a she, a they, or a (ridiculously sounding) zhe or xir. The point is that Edward Wang Hwe Pepel Cybulski IV or was it Edward Wong Hau Papelu Trivruski IV... Françoise Appledelhi is a girl, period. Just because the character's original design was a boy and then turned onto a girl in order to even the sausage to clam ratio on the Bebop, doesn't mean that the character is genderfluid. She's a "Cyberpunk Pippi Longstocking".

I saw a clip on YouTube with Ed...  absolute CRINGE... any more cringe and I'd have to point a magic sword at it to see if they change into Battle Cat. That was the big surprise at the end... now to be fair, Ed is supposed to be absolute cringe if she were to be adapted to live action, but something feels off...  Ed's cringy weirdness feels rehearsed and fake in the live action. 

The thing is that I just can't get past episode 3. I simply have no interest on keep watching the show. I guess you could say I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter... wait did I just quote Linkin Park?

If you want to watch Cowboy Bebop stick to the anime and don't bother with Netflix's Buckaroo Rocksteady... please tell me that you can see what I did there...

So far this isn't on the Netflix version... Anime Superior, Netflix Inferior...

Nov 19, 2021

I wish Super7 would stop rereleassing the turtles...

 No, this isn't some pro-scalping "ReReLeAsEs DeVaLue My CoLlEcTiOn" excuse. My issue is that it hasn't even been 6 months from the last "rerelease of the Turtles". Now they're rereleasing them but at the higher $55 price...

5 months ago this same set was $180, ($45 per figure) while wave 5 was $55 per figure... now this set is $55 per figure. Existing molds with no new tooling. I'd understand if there were new molds made which means more tooling costs, but sadly, this is part of the game. 

Literally the same Turtles, except Raph who is from the "V2" style with darker vintage rack... I bought a set of the rerelease Turtles five months ago, to use the modern heads on them and I'm very likely to repaint the wristbands and pads to a grayish brown to make them more 2k3 inspired. I might even paint the bandanas on the vintage heads in red to have more "Mirage" Turtles. 

So, hear me out. I don't mind the rereleases, just make them different enough that I might be interested in double or triple-dip on them.

For the MOC crowd and speculators, packing the Turtles with the Modern head and a different color for the vintage weapons tree is a nice start.

Mirage Inspired Recolors could've been an alternative:
All Turtles in Raph Green with red headbands, brown pads and belts. 

Hell, even the 1987 Rose Art game where the Turtles had the wrong colors... Mikey had Don's Skin tone and viceversa. I don't know if Raph or Leo were reversed as well, but they could reverse them as well so they all match in being mismatched.

That's not counting the options of making new variants that "look vanilla". I've mentioned Wacky Action and Toon variants for this. Going "full mirage" or "2k3 toyline" on these could work... new belts and maybe different accessories. Hell, the Undercover Turtles could've been a nice way to rerelease the Turtles. I understand that the easier route is a normal rerelease with nothing changed, but that's lame...

Hell, even a 4 pack of the turtles with only their plain weapons as the accessories would've been different enough from the standard release...
But the question remains: where in the hell is wave 5 of Thundercats...

Nov 16, 2021

A Santa Claus Action Figure preorder!?

 BigBadToyStore is slhaving a preorder for a Santa Claus themed line by Fresh Monkey Fiction  from Nov 15- Dec 31st. If they succeed in getting the minimum, then we get a 1/12 scale Santa... or elves and nutcrackers. Me? I only want a vanilla Santa. As of the writing of this rant, 2500 Santas preorders are required and only 1999 have been made.

Having a super articulated Santa Claus figure is insane. Marvel Legends displays could benefit from him. I figured Street Fighter could do some insane pics... even S7 TMNT could benefit from him, but my Phicen seamless anime girl could give me some naughty or nice displays... If I were to get 3 girls they could be called:
Ho Ho Ho girls... just don't tell TMSK about them. Insert an I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus reference here. One of the stretch goals is Freaking Krampus... how we haven't gotten one of these until now, especially since Santa has no copyright...

Update: Santa tier unlocked!

-Vanilla Santa 999 (possibly more since counter stops at 999)
-Robot Santa 557
-Zombie Santa 716
-Sgt. Santa 348

My question is: if each figure has a 500 figure minimum requirement... What  would happen to Sgt. Santa if he doesn't reach the minimum required?  I think he'll make it, but it is a reasonable question.

Update 2: Krampus kommt!

Here's Krampus, he's a Deluxe figure at $49.99 which is a not OK price tag... but there's a second version with less accessories, the Santa disguise Krampus...
I don't want to be "THAT GUY" but I think they did it wrong... This Krampus should've been the cheaper version. Then the Santa disguised Krampus be the Deluxe one. 
Vanilla Krampus should have come with the bag to take away naughty children
 The list to ensure he's taking the naughty.
Gripping hands to hold the branches that he has.
The branches to punish naughty children.
Krampus also has chains, but I don't want to ask for too many newly sculpted parts: ie Cloven hooves for his lower legs, new forearms with enough space to add the chains that shackle him.
The reason I suggested the Santa disguise Krampus to be the Deluxe figure is due to the accessories for the "Santa disguise"
The already mentioned accessories above (branches, painted in candy cane pattern because Santa. The bag, the extra hands)
Add to those the cloak to hide Krampus's hideous appearance.
A second Krampus head, but with a Heath Ledger Joker paintjob in Santa Colors.

Because it feels that they put more effort on Robot Santa and Sgt. Santa than on Krampus.
If the $50 Krampus had a more Krampus-like appearance, like cloven feet and wasn't literally the vanilla Santa figure with a new head and hands.

$450+S&H for a TMNT Party Wagon!?

 I could get a life size van to mod for that price.

This should've been $250. This is roughly 3in³ bigger than the WWE Wreckin' Slambulance... with 10 times its price. Also, I have another issue. The figures are virtually Playmates figures with more articulation and larger in size. One would think that this "rule" applies to vehicles as well...

While there are similarities, the sculpt is not Toy Accurate. It looks like the custom vehicles made from the old VW van...

There ARE SOME Toon elements on the S7 toy, but it's a load of bullshit that they HAVE to go Vintage Toy accurate on the figures and suddenly, they get free reign on the vehicle. Don't get me wrong, I like the Super 7 version of the party wagon, but it bugs me that they can do this but an Oroku Saki head for Shredder or an unmasked Casey Jones are impossible because "vintage accuracy".

The only thing I'm honestly mad about is the pricetag. It's absolute Bullshit.

Jingle all the way 2!? Let's Git'er done!!

 I've been watching too many shitty Christmas movies and it's not even December... now I found the possible crowning achievement in Christmas Bullshittery... a Sequel to Jingle All the Way, No Arnold, No Sinbad, but Larry the Cable Guy and Santino Marella... als Brian Stepanek is in this... oh boy, do I smell a Stinker? This smells like a Live Action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. I suppose WWE had their fingers all over this since it has Santino Marella in it.

So let's as Tow Mater would say, Git' Er Done!! The original Jingle all the way isn't a good movie oh, but it's one of my cinematic guilty pleasures... PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!! NOW!! And I know the sequel is crap because, straight to video, Larry the Cable Guy, WWE, and a much smaller budget than the original, but since I'm doing bad Christmas movies...

So, Mater has a kid and I'm not going to make fun of the kid's bad acting, but it was a lot better than Anakin Skywalker's... not Jake Lloyd, but Hayden Christensen's... I hate sand it's coarse and gets everywhere... oh, Brian Stepanek is the bad guy... then what the fuck does Santino Marella do? I know what you're thinking how do I know that Stepanek is the villain? Well, he's rich and his name is Victor... How many rich people named Victor do you know that are good? The only Rich Victor I know wears a green skirt and a suit of armor... it appears that Stepanek 

(I originally was going to go with the Maintenance guy from the Tipton Hotel,  but since no one remembers The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, no one would remember Arwin, the Maintenance guy) is a bit jealous of Mater's relationship with the kid, so he's trying to use his affluence to overshadow her dad and win her favor.

Ah Santino is Mater's sidekick... Seriously WWE? YOU GIVE ONE OF YOUR SUPERSTARS A MOVIE AND HE'S NOT EVEN THE PROTAGONIST...  The movie takes a swipe at KMART... due to past interactions with the Sears Holdings Corporation, I must say that the comment was not cool. Also cliché Christmas lights short circuit. I know I know that I shouldn't be too hard because "it's a kids movie" but it bugs me. Why must these overplayed gags be used to the point that even kids find them boring? OK the hauling snow in a non refrigerated truck and ending up with a truck full of water gag was ALMOST funny... OMG I'm  sooo jaded... oh, so now here's where the movie begins to Jingle All the way:

Dere Santa for Kris Mas I wa nt my fam ily to get hera sone Luv, Noel

This begins the Jingle all the way part of the movie... what the heck is a Herasone!? Now Stepanek uses one of his employees to stalk Mater... Oh, apparently, Herasone is Harrison, which is a talking bear, because little girl... at least we won't see Mater dress up like Tuhbo Man or something like that...

Oh, Stepanek sent his subordinate to scalp the bear... I was hating the movie before this scene now I absolutely loathe it. Wait... the kid keeps playong what CinemaSins refers to as The Pronoun Game... I'm starting to feel that the Bear isn't what she wants.

And Mater stole from a charity drive after botching a mechanical bull contest... this movie went dark for a moment there... he even dressed up as a fat Billy Ray Cyrus to steal it... there goes my Halloween 2022 costume idea. He even meets with a scalper who happens to be a toy store employee... worst kind of scalpers... hating the movie even more... so he meets the scalper in an abandoned junkyard at midnight like some sort of drug deal.

It feels like this movie has gone for hours and it's only been 67 minutes, so Mater discovered that Stepanek was behind everything. Stepanek's employee breaks down and exposes his boss's plot. Meanwhile Stepanek ans Mater are locked in a warehouse and are fighting with the teddy bears... they end up escaping the warehouse Shenmue style... send a full of Zack Morris type of scheme and claimed that the Bears were about to be given as a present at the tree lighting ceremony. That fixes Stepanek's reputation and then they celebrate Christmas together but the kid is disappointed with the present because she didn't want the Bear. She wanted her family together as one...  ugh! Finally it's ovah... veredict: it stinks, but it was somewhat entertaining. More like a car crash than a trainwreck. My main issie is that the original had such a big climax with the Christmas parade and the jetpack, but this one's climax was small and "personal" between Mater and Stepanek. The movie overall felt very disconnected. The archnemeses rarely interacted with each other, unlike the first one. 

Underwhelming, that's the perfect word to describe Jingle All the Way 2.

I'm sticking with the Schwarzenegger one...

Nov 14, 2021

Ironheart might be in a wee bit of legal trouble...

 Riri Williams, aka Ironheart had a first appearance in 2016, and in 2017 she officially became Ironheart... but what if I told you that there was a female Iron Man knockoff called Ironheart long before Riri Williams... this Ironheart is also a minority and the star of a Japanese Porn Parody of Iron Man...

Yeah... this is awkward. Unlike most media pointing out Ironheart's origins with Marvel's white male erasure program, I'm simply going to laugh at the stupidity of naming the character after a porn parody. I guess this is another thing Miss Williams stole. (Remember that she stole Stark tech to make her armor... and stolen Stark tech is what started the original Armor Wars in the comics. Stealing from another property makes sense for the character.)

This is way too sloppy for Marvel/Disney. I can't believe that they let such a mistake go unchecked... 

Wait, this was pointed out in 2016!? Yet Marvel kept on going... Seriously?
I guess Mr. Takei has very low opinions of Joe Quesada, the guy who "coined the name Ironheart for Riri".

Do you hate Mariah Carey?

 Only near Christmas... yes, it's because of the song. Well, Netflix in their desire to tell me to fuck off for not loving or hating Kevin Smith's take on MOTU, for hating Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra. And pre-hating the bastardization of Cowboy Bebop... we can blame that it looks like crap, John Cho and Daniela Pineda being horribly miscast, and did I mention that it looks like a low budget pretentious student film? Well, Netflix decided to give me an early Christmas present with Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas is You: the animated movie, where Mariah Carey doesn't voice Mariah Carey, because she's not an actor... yet she keeps getting roles for no reason 

I am watching this out of my own free will, mostly because I need something to rant about and a movie based on a obnoxious Christmas Song made sense... Sorry, Johnny (my Bestest Friend from High School,  a HUUUUGE Mariah Fan) but I must make fun of your idol... she started the war against Christmas with her auditory torture. I'm surprised that the friends of The Culinary Institute of America didn't use this song to torture terrorists.

Let's start with the movie, shall we?

Young Mariah wants a dog, but her parents are against it. She ends up making a deal with her dad to dogsit a dog who is a little Taz wannabe. If she succeeds at taking good care of this demonspawn pup, she can get the bichon/poodle hybrid she wants. I'm willing to bet that she'll have a lot of issues and will bite more than she can chew and in the end will choose the Damien Dog over the Poo-chon...
But I got to keep watching. 

While we don't have to hear Mariah acting, she's still the narrator and provides the soundtrack...  Why am I even doing this!? I know I hate myself, but damn! This punishment is too cruel even for me!!

While it isn't a good movie even by the "it's for children" standards, but it doesn't seem more harmful than your average kid's show on Disney Channel or nickelodeon. The only loathsome thing about it is Mariah Carey.
1hr 13m is when hell begins... and right after the title being referenced, the waterworks began... Mariah was going to search for her missing demonspawn when all her friends, teachers, etc. joined her to search for the dog.
I dunno why but I started crying there. Then the song restarted and the tears began burning with rage... it's an innocuous flick for kids, but a torture device for Adults... I kinda want to kick the producers in the dick...

Wait, please tell me this isn't the same Mike Young from Mike Young Productions... one Google search later... The dick kicking shall not happen, because of 200X... but any other cinematic or television abomination will not be forgiven... wait, Splash Entertainment formerly Mike Young Productions is responsible for Norm of the North!? I guess I need a Poing Super Combat fist to punch people in the dick! Fuck Norm of the North! Fuck this movie, and Fuck Mike Young!!

Do yourself a favor and DO NOT WATCH HOME SWEET HOME ALONE!!


I recently lost a bet and my punishment was to watch one of the Non-Macaulay Culkin Home Alone movies, you know: Home Alone 3, Home Alone Taking Back the House, Home Alone Holiday Heist, and  Home Sweet Home Alone. Before I could say Home Alone 3, I was told that it wasn't a valid option. I had to choose one of the other 3. I had already seen Taking Back the House and hated it. I EVEN STARTED HOLIDAY HEIST, but I almost clawed my eyes out, so I was forced to stop... so, I chose the remaining choice... I already hate myself for it. I'd rather watch the Human Centipede  or a Brie Larson marathon over this... six minutes into this movie and I want to dropkick the kid. Why is Keenan Thompson in this? Why is everyone talking as if they were making a comedy sketch and throwing jokes that don't land?

20 minutes in and I want to nutpunch the director... it's a Fox movie but it feels like a made for tv Disneyfied version of Home Alone. 

It seems that the would be bandits aren't really bandits because it appears that Pound Store Replacement Kevin McCallister stole a priceless antique doll... I'm using the term appears, because there could be a Shyamalamadingdong tweest that it wasn't the kid who stole it but another of the adults who was there at the open house.

Wait, did they just have the kid cross-dress as a joke!? In 2021!? And this is on Disney+!? I wonder if this will be mentioned in the following weeks... ugh! I still have 1 hour and 12 minutes to go...  and now we have the Scarface reference... how is a 2021 10 year old even aware of Scarface!? Oh wait, the tweest is that the would be bandit's nephew is the one who stole the doll. They showed a small scene of him stealing stuff so the tweest doesn't come off the left field. 

Wait wait wait, did the movie got a moment of self-awareness and called itself garbage for being a remake not up to par with the classics? It's official, this is not a kid's movie.  This movie is for adults who have nostalgic feelings towards Home Alone and this movie wants to kill the past with its abominable state. Unlikanle kid, sympathetic "villains"...  Who am I supposed to root for?

It's time for cheap manipulation and bring in a song played on the Real Home Alone...

I'm only 27 minutes in and I want to ask Toodles for a Keyblade to squish Michael T. Mouse's testicles to oblivion. I'll even put on a Sora wig. Also, the movie is Ageist... in 2021 no less... Home Sweet Home Alone, you're getting canceled!! The only satisfaction of me going through this torture is that I get to write a rant about it and try to save you from watching this horrible horrible movie that makes The Room seem like a masterpiece... at least the Tommy Wiseau movie it's unintentionally fun. I right now I listen to a vegan rant about meat being bad while explaining the benefits of crossfit and getting me involved in a time sharing MLM with a Nigerian Prince than watch this abomination.

And we have Buzz McCallister!! Thank you for reminding me that there is a MUCH MUCH BETTER HOME ALONE MOVIE THAT I COULD BE WATCHING IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT STUPID BET... if I had won the FFVII-THEMED NSFW reward would've been awesome... but I lost, so I'm stuck watching this. 

Wait, so Kevin grew up to make alarm systems AND pranks Buzz every year by claiming that there are kids left home alone on Christmas!? What a Dick!! Or dicks the writers are...


Nope! That fist pumping "yes!" Was unearned... give it back! Now we're at the part where the real slapstick is supposed to begin. No! That VR scene doesn't work, because VR doesn't work like that! It would be impossible for the VR to recreate his attire so perfectly. This completely shattered my suspension of disbelief.

Oh no! What's this!? I got a genuine laugh? From THIS MOVIE!? So, the "not bandits" capture "limey kevin wannabe" and they explain the situation and offer to take care of him until his parents arrive. She tells him that everything will be alright and that he won't get in trouble and that his mom will be just glad to see him safe and sound, when the husband interjects with an "at first". I'm aghast that it made me laugh.

It ended up being the nephew who had stolen the doll. But "Harry Potter" ended up saving the day. And movie, you ruined it by having klepto nephew doing the Home Alone scream pose. So "Harry Potter" reunites with his mum and we still have 13 minutes to go!? Take me out of my misery, please end movie, I'm begging you!!

FYI it was a joke about the thing that spinballed the plot of this movie. And now it's finally over...

If I were to summarize this movie into words, I would have to quote Jay Sherman. But in all fairness it actually made me laugh twice, which is an improvement over taking back the house. Don't get me wrong this movie still is very shitty, but incredibly enough it's not the worst of the off-brand Home Alone movies. Do not watch!!

Nov 13, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Anthony Hopkins

 Technically speaking he's Dr. Ford from Westworld... an HBO series based on a 1973 movie written and directed by Michael Crichton... author of Congo...

And Westworld is a movie about people in a Wild West themed part where one of the robots has a malfunction and wreaks havoc on the park... years later he published a novel about a group of visitors at a Dinosaur themed Park where dinosaurs wreak havoc... in a way Westworld is the OG Jurassic Park.

That's all I know about the subject. Hopkins is in theory the proto Hammond to be honest I did not buy the figure because of Westworld, because I know Jack squat about Westworld. I got it because it's Anthony Hopkins.

Sir Hopkins has articulation that reminds me of DCUC with double jointed knees and elbows. The torso articulation is a bit lacking, but to be fair he's like 83 or something. This figure has way more articulation than I expected... especially since he's a Diamond Select figure. Their articulation can go from Marvel Legends like to, wait a minute, this is a McFarlane statue pretending to be an action figure. I'm glad he's on the ML-like level of Articulation.

It takes very little to make Sir Hopkins look distinguished. On the other hand it takes very little to make me look shallow and pedantic.

Paint and sculpt
The figure resembles Anthony Hopkins in what people (namely me) expect Anthony Hopkins to dress like on his free time. For some reason I can't imagine Sir Hopkins wearing a T-shirt and shorts. And yes, I've seen pics of Hopkins on a T-shirt, or on shorts, even with gaudy Hawaiian shirts, but my brain does not compute and temporarily shuts down as it reimagines Hopkins on a long sleeved shirt, tie, and even a vest. It's weird, but it's kinda how my brain sees Hannah Montana trying to claw her way out of Miley Cyrus's body. No seriously, look at Miley  and tell menthat you don't see Hannah Montana trying to leave her body. Where was I? Figure looks a lot like Anthony Hopkins. There aren't any visible paint issues on my figure.

With the proper posing and accessories,
Sir Hopkins can look like an absolute badass.

Diamond Select often falls short on this area. I cannot judge this figure properly, since I don't watch Westworld, so I don't know what show specific accessories he should have. I find the lack of extra hands disappointing.
He only comes with a stand

Sir Hopkins gets a 4.75 as his final score. Since. I haven't seen the show, crucifying this figure for a lack of accessories would be unfair. But with that said having no extra hands on an adult collectible in 2021 is severely disappointing.  I simply wanted an Anthony Hopkins that wasn't an Assguardian or Hannibal Lecter.
No human livers with fava beans and a nice Chianti were consumed during the making of this review. The weird Anthony Hopkins sucking/hissing noises were made a lot though. 
I did listen to Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus but my weiner's position during the song is not relevant for this review. So refrain from being like Jonah Hill.

Nov 12, 2021

Thundercats wave 5 reveal was delayed because issues, but Super7's got your back...

 With a Wallet Raping Surprise... but not for Thundercats.

It's the TMNT Party Wagon... I suppose it'll cost a car payment. The similar in size WWE WRECKING Slambulance was $40... technically speaking, the Party Wagon should be MUCH SMALLER than the Thundertank, which would bring the price down...

A Technodrome scares me and now due to my added responsibilities and no more "Mom promises or secret stashes of money", it's highly unlikely that I'll own a Technodrome. Right now the Party Wagon worries me, but we shall see once it gets announced officially.

Whoa, I just noticed clear windows and "real functioning mirrors"...

Hopefully this won't be a Wallet raper.

Previously on X-men... a Sequel to the 90s series

 Some of the original cast is returning to this sequel slated for 2023.
-Cal Dodd is back, he was the best Wolverine voice.
-Lenore Zann, she was untouchable, sugah... but for the sake of being professional, she was Rogue.
-George Buza, oh my stars and garters! Used to be Beast.
-Alison Sealy-Smith screamed at Mother Nature, because she was none other than Storm.
-Chris Potter was the Cajun...
-Catherine Disher was the orgasmic Jean Grey...
-Adrian Hough vas Nightcrawler...
-Chris Britton was the Sinister Nathaniel Essex. 
The issue here is that these folks will be back, but they won't necessarily be playing their old roles... 
Notable Missing Cast Members:
-Cedric Smith who was Professor X.
-Norm Spencer, who sadly passed away was always yelling JEAN!!
-and Alysson Court, the Original Claire Redfield who was my favorite 90s mallrat, Jubilee.

I understand that Norm Spencer cannot reprise his role because he's dead... it's the absence of Xavier and Jubilee that worry me.

But don't fret, Newcomers are coming:
-Jennifer Hale, who voiced Jean on MVC3, was the 90s and early 00s voice for Black Cat, and when she uses a fake British accent and talks about anti-freezing peptides, she can make my snake solid...
-Anniwaa Buachie, whose works I don't know.
-Ray Chase, who played Additional Voices in FFVIIR, or Prince Night Light of the Sky in FFXV.
-Matthew Waterson, Additional character voice in Shenmue 3, and The Doomslayer in Doom Eternal.
-JP Karliak, Mr. ADDITIONAL VOICES in FFVIIR, RDR2,KH3, TLOU2,Spider-Man Miles Morales, serioisly has he done anything other than Additional Voices? Oh, he was the redubbed Fuyutsuki in EVANGELION... wait, he's the low budget replacement to Alec Baldwin in the Boss Baby series... uh OK... I won't mention his role as No.7 in Mighty No.9 because no one mentions that.
-Holly Chou, whose works I know nothing about either...
-Jeff Bennett, Johnny Bravo... he's done shit-ton of stuff... from voicing various Disney characters on the Kingdom Hearts series, he's also Brooklyn.
-AJ LoCascio, the Telltale Marty McFly, discount Crisp Rat.

All I have to say is: Don't fuck up! Starting with DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE CHANGE THE THEMESONG!!


Nov 11, 2021

Netflix's Juan Piss has a cast... Ya-yo Ya-yo!

 Mexican Luffy is searching for Juan Piss... that's the name of the treasure... or how One Piece would sound from someone with a THICK Latin American accent. But yeah, Luffy will be played by a Mexican actor. ZORO will be played by a Japanese actor, specifically, the one who played Enishi in the third Kenshin movie... Sonny Chiba's kid, Mackenyu. Nami woll be played by an actress that actually looks like a flat chested Nami. Before anyone begins to cry sexism. I didn't mean this as a jab at the actress for lacking the Chesticular fortitude of her character. Unlike the actors for Luffy and Zoro, she ACTUALLY looks a lot like her character with the only 2 differences being that the actress is a live human and not a drawing and the difference in breast sizes between 3d and 2d. Usopp is black... the character known as the liar is black... *socjus pearl clutching intensifies*  and Sanji, well he looks like 90s Eminem, but the Wish version. 

While yes, I'm making fun of the cast choices, they aren't as bad as Cowboy Bebop's. I might watch this despite not being a fan of the source material... I need to know if this will make the 4kids trainwreck look good.

Nov 10, 2021

With Ben Reilly back, "journalists" are mad.

 Ben Reilly, the Spectacular Spider-Man clone is back and is currently being Spider-Man. This, of course has brought the ire of journalists because it "betrays the promise of Miles Morales being Peter Parker's successor". Ot doesn't make sense since Ben Reilly has been holding that post since the first Clone Saga back in 1975... Hell, even Kaine is higher on the totem pole than Miles. Let's be honest here: the sole reason the so-called "journalists" are mad about Ben Reilly is that they're campaigning for the faux diversity program. Miles only has 10 years of existence. By seniority, Ben Reilly has the right of being Peter Parker's successor... let's not mention that Genetically, both Ben and Kaine have Replacing Peter Parker as their destiny... it's their raison d'être. But since both Ben and Kaine are white, that's bad in current year.

Miles deserves to be something else. He needs to step out of Peter Parker's shadow and become his own hero.

As ridiculous as this outfit is, it HAS BEGUN MILES'S STEPPING OUT OF PARKER'S SHADOW. I don't like that it looks like a Kaine fanboy suit. Since Miles is like Super Puerto Rican, he should take the name "el Guabá" the Puerto Rican Cabe Spider or Whip Spider, in order to a: promote his "so-called Puerto Ricanhood" and b: to separate himself from the Parker trio.

I'm not against Miles as a character, the problem is how he was shoved into 616... in 616 we have a Miles Morales who is a criminal and friend of Wilson Fisk. I think he calls himself Ultimatum or something... the pint is that Miles was literally created to replace A Peter Parker l, which he did and now he's in the main Marvel Universe in the most convoluted way possible.
Especially when existing replacements are available. Now had Miles been a kid who gained Spider powers on the 616 and the Parker clones were discovered later on,  I'd defend Miles's seniority over the clones' birthright. It's litwrally the same reasoning why I defend the idea of Rhodey or Lila over Riri as Iron man replacements. .y argument comes from respecting the character's history over interaectional politics. 

Like I said before, I want Miles to shine bright in his own and become a Spider-Man of his own and not live under Parker's shadow. Kinda like Anya was doing before she became a Spider-Woman.  Or how DC's Dick Grayson stepped away from Robin and became Nightwing. He became a hero of his own, an EQUAL to Batman who only became Batman when Bruce Wayne "died"... but Nightwing doesn't have an issie that Miles does... Nightwing taking the role of Batman doesn't have the same negative connotations of say, Falcon taking Captain America's mantle. Which is more racist:
-Miles wearing a white man's hand-me-downs.
-Miles being skipped as the replacement of a white character by another white character that preceded him by 36 years as a replacement of the previously mentioned white character.

To me, Miles becoming THE Spider-Man is far more racist. Miles IS NOT PETER PARKER AND HE NEVER WILL BE!! Stop trying to make him Peter Parker and giving him copies of the worst Parker Storylines... he had a One Moronic Deal and a Clone Saga now... the whole Kamala's law reeks of Civil War for the young Morales...
Miles deserves better.

Eventually, Peter Parker will return as Spider-Man, but in case that he kicks the bucket, Ben Reilly is still the better option.

Thundercats wave 5 is coming this week...

 Red Lion-O is one of the figures. He was teased a few days ago by Super7. I will briefly point out that Cheetara, waves 2 and 4 are still MIA. But I'm not here to gripe about the delays. Right now my target is red Lion-O, which could've been a BBTS or Entertainment Earth exclusive figure. Tossing him in a wayve means that we're one character short due to the repaint... this means that Bengali or Vultureman will be pushed to wave 6 because of him occupying a slot... UNLESS Wave 5 is a "variant wave" with a clear "Stealth Tygra", a slightly more brownish "Hammerhand Panthro" and "Spirit of Jaga" to round up the wave. I know it's a massive dick move, but it's the pnly way I can justify the Red Lion-O...

Tygra goes invisible and fight Mongor... who I'd like to see as a figure.

The spirit of Jaga teaching Lion-O a lesson.

Mumm-Ra clones Panthro. Sadly I couldn't find the fight at the end of the episode between Panthro and Hammerhand in the Panthro clone body.

Lion-O vs Red Lion-O... I think I've been on this train of thought before...

But since it's highly unlikely that this wave will be a reality, we must think 3-4 figures to complete the wave.

Either Bengali or one of the Thunderkittens will be 1 of the 2 Heroic characters. The other character could be Hachiman, Mandora, or one of the Warrior Maidens. They could always throw us a curveball and have both Thunderkittens as the heroic characters on this wave. 
For the villain, Vultureman would be the obvious choice. They could throw us a Lunattak, Ratar-O, a Berzerker, or Freaking Mongor. If Red Lion-O is the fifth figure, then we could get a combination of those. But we have to wait until we find out who's coming.