Mar 31, 2016

Odds and Ends March 31st 2016

Street Fighter V got an update... You can use Alex from SFIII for a Limited Time and play his story mode... If you bought the Season Pass, you get to keep him. If not, then you have to go online and earn a ton of "Crapcom Currency" or wait until the "SFV Crapcom Store" allows you to buy him for real money. They may have also given us Alpha Ryu Skin and Policewoman Chun Li skin... This is not good. No Arcade mode to Hone our skills in true combat. (Survival Mode is BS. It's stuck to one round and the "Boosts" are not part of the vs experience.) Playing Online is a mess, because you get either Super Hardcore players, or trolls who ragequit and you lose your "Currency". If you don't play online, you're outta luck. You'll have to take out the
So $60 + X, Y, Z, A, B, C... It keeps adding up!

What a load of crap!!

Now moving on to Kooler things... There is a Figure Koming up that will make you say Oh Krap!!
a Mortal Kombat 1 Scorpion Figure in the SEVEN INCH SCALE! All I could find about the Company is that they are making a 13 inch Hulk Hogan figure, They altho made a Mike Tython and a Dennis Rodman... Not NBA Dennis Rodman, but I got drunk and somehow ended up married to Carmen Electra Dennis Rodman.

Keep it together now... I'm afraid I have some bad news... Tom Hiddleston may be heading for his last appearance as Loki in Ragnarok...

Now to be fair, Ragnarök is basically the Norse Apocalypse... no relation to Poe Dameron. So, it kinda makes sense for Loki's final appearance being in Ragnarök. But there may be hope, Loki fangirls... Pray that Marvel wants some Hiddleston in the Infinity War... I mean, we got Underoos! to appear in the MCU thanks to a deal with SONY...

Mar 30, 2016

Wal*Mart knows the secret on how to ooze money out of me...

Dammit! Why do THEY have to get the Exclusive Secret of the Ooze TMNT classics figures... Well let's see? Toys R Us had the First Movie and the Cartoon Turtles, but I never saw any of them. Maybe, I may have a chance at getting them? (Remembers Giant Man Wave of ToyBiz Marvel Legends...

Now I wonder if KMart is getting TMNT3 Samurai Turtles...

So, Wal*Mart is getting these figures. If you have the Original TMNT Movie ones, why get these?

Multiple heads, Multiple Movie Related Accessories!
Leo has the Ooze, Donny has the Bo-Mop, Mikey has the nom noms, the cold cut chucks, Raph has Pizza (Thanks to Surf Ninja Keno)

This is cool and all that, BUT I have one complaint:

87 Toon Turtles
Rocksteady and Bebop
1990 Movie Turtles
1991 2nd Movie Turtles

Where's ANY Shredder, Splinter, April, Krang? Or Elias Koteas as Casey? We can't keep rehashing the Turtles Forever... (pun intended)

Mar 29, 2016

It Came from the Toy Chest: Cory Matthews' favorite King Hsss...

Roll the Undapants Clip!

As you know King Hssss got a bigger screwjob than The Montreal Screwjob. Well, he's finally Arrived! He HAS A BIO!! HOLY ASS CRACKERS, MATTEL GAVE US A BIO!?
It's King Hssss's normal bio with Centuries replaced with Millenia...  New team is really hellbent in making Neitlich look good...

Before I start my review, I must point out that MOST OF MY MOTUC are still in storage, so that's why there have not been too many funny pics in the reviews in 2016. Need to get some new shelves, but that's not on topic, so let's get back to the third Hssss (and we can't even get a Savage Catra variant)
Get a rotary tool, you'll need one. Or lots of sandpaper, because you'll need it... The rotary tool is faster.

Main head can swivel left and right, the rest of the snakes are bendy snakes... Careful with the wires inside of them... He has an unintended waist swivel (Removable torso) and Normal Leg Articulation from the waist down. Due to the King Hssss 1.0 Underpants, the Articulation is limited on the thighs and  the usage of the Rattlor shins means there is no boot cut. I must point out that his knee and ankle articulation is LOOSE AS HELL!

Nu snake torso looks better than the Celery Stick look!
Paint and sculpt: 
Well, he's something old, something new, something borrowed, nothing blue.
Old: King Hssss's crotch
New: Upper Snake Torso
Borrowed: Everything else from the Snakemen 2 pack.
Paintjob... here's where things get messy. Mine has a so-so paintjob. The central snake head doesn't match the torso. It looks worse from the back. I've heard about some not having the underbelly painted. Be careful...

Snakemen 2 pack weapons (all 4), Snakemen 2pack extra head. The head gives a more Thulsa Doom vibe to King Hssss

Look, Ma! No Hands!!

He can hold ALL THE ACCESSORIES WITHOUT CHEATING WITH CLEAR BANDS... Not recommended, but possible.

If you're thinking about a Hefty ad, I don't blame ya!
Before I go to the Overall Score, You are wondering how does he Match up to the Original snake torso? That I can answer. What I cannot answer is how does it look on the Vintage Looking Hssss.

And here's your answer.

Now the whole Rotary Tool thing:
King Hssss needs his head to be sanded off slightly. Specifically speaking his peg hole. The head is made of the Harder Plastic as the Torso, think some third party casts kind of hard. Now if you don't sand/dremel the hole, it won't fit your 200X Hssss. Be careful with how much you remove, otherwise, you'll need blutac to hold the head in place. (Mine is slightly loose, but not NEEDS blutac kinda loose)

Cool torch, huh!
Serpentine King Hssss gets a 4.0 as his final score. I still stand that the Torso should have been given to subscribers for free as an apology for their screw up, but the accessories are kinda cool. No idea what I'll do with the legs. though.

Mar 28, 2016

It came from the Toy Chest: DC Collectibles, you have Failed this Toyline!

Take a wild guess WHICH DC Collectibles Toyline I am talking about... I'll give you a hint...

Then again, you should have guessed it by the whole

reference in the Title.
Now, just because I USED the "You have Failed" reference does not mean that the toy sucks... That is determined by the Ratings System.

So, do I need to explain who Arrow is?
OK, so Arrow is basically a Liberal version of Batman with a Robin Hood Fetish. The reason WHY we have Arrow as a show instead of Batman (No, Gotham doesn't count) is because Warner Bros. is afraid of having the Trinity on TV... I mean, I get not having Superman... Oh wait, there is a SUPERGIRL TV series currently airing, so the "We couldn't do Superman because of budget" is Pure BS. But back on topic... Oliver Queen is basically a Poor Man's Bruce Wayne. I mean look at all the Bat-similarities:
Diggle is Alfred, Felicity is Oracle, Lauren is Kinda Barbara Gordon/Bartgirl, Roy is Dick, Thea is Jason Todd, Not to mention that Ra's Al Ghul offered a daughter to him as a wife. There is even a possible Damian Wayne ersatz.

Let's open the toy and see what he's got:
I'll let the pic talk for itself.
One issue I have is that this figure is VERY STIFF and hard to pose. He has decent Articulation points, But the problem is that many of them have a LIMITED RANGE OF MOTION. I originally tried to pose him with a 1:12 Motorcycle, but I couldn't get him to ride in a natural pose. I was testing to see if I could recreate some poses he often does. Riding a Bike is one of them. Don't even think about asking for the Shirtless Ad poses.

So, seeing that he has a Bow and Arrow, I tried to have him doing the Archer pose...
It can barely be done.
The Bow wobbles on his hand and his arrow is crooked. Plus his arms don't have the range of movement needed to. From some angles it looks more Awkward than Stephen Amell trying to shoot a Toy bow for Children 8 and under. 3.0

Paint and Sculpt:
Gentle Giant did a good job of capturing Amell's Likeness for The Arrow. There is no visible slop on the figure. There is a little paint bleed on the arrows but that's not too noticeable in person.

Ollie has a Bow and Arrow... He also has a Bunch of Arrows. He has enough stuff, but somehow he feels lacking, for a figure specifically made for collectors... 3.0

The Arrow gets a 3.5 as his final score. DC Collectibles DID NOT FAIL, but they need to do better... They did a BETTER LOOKING Arrow than Mattel Problem is that he is incredibly stiff and while it has better POA than the Mattel figure, the Mattel Figure MIGHT be more poseable.

The figure is on the 6.5-7-inch scale.

Mar 25, 2016

Nefty v. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Rants

So, I went and saw it... Suck Snyder's Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Just Us... Before I start the review/rant I must issue TWO Warnings:
1: The following Review is MY OPINION and is only to showcase my thoughts regarding the movie. It is meant to be entertaining not advertisement/deterrent for you to watch/avoid the movie. (Ghost-Bust-Hers should be avoided. Period. would be an example of deterrent.)

2: There will be spoilers. I will keep them after the jump. (but if you accessed this rant via direct link, I left a large blank space for you to avoid spoilers)

So, in short: The movie is flawed, but enjoyable if you disconnect your brain for 2 hours and 39 minutes. It has TONS of Easter Eggs. Dialogue can be horrible at times (Blame Snyder for this), Snyder is out-hideoing Kojima in not-subtlety... Remember how Superman was tried to be made into a Jesus analogy in Man of Stool? Well, Snyder is more in your face with the Jesus analogy here. Affleck is basically The Dark Knight Returns Batman crossed with the Arkham Games Batman.
and better save some things for the spoilerrific Part of the Review.

It Came from the Toy Chest: Well, you know, that's just like, your opinion, man!

 That undersized Giant really tied up the room together.  Some people say he looks like Jesus, others say he looks like the Magma Giant from Gatchaman, others say he looks like the popular imagery of Christ, but I think he looks more like The Dude.
But that could be blamed by the Bowling Ball, I mean Star Seed Accessory...

Before I start the review I must point out one thing. The fact that this is being Published on Good Friday and that Procrustus looks a bit like the Iconic Christ Look is purely Coincidental. It was... OK I can't lie! I had it ready for a few days and released it on this date. But to be fair, I had some other items in the queue.

Now Procrustus, the third and Final Undersized Giant... I feel like a massive douche after talking crap about the Giants, I ended up getting all 3... Well, this makes MOTUC the version of MOTU that I have collected as close to completion as possible... And the most encompassing one as well.

Who is Procrustus? This is for the MOTU impaired, or whose sole source of MOTU lore is Filmation. I know that most of my readers know who he is.
He's the Eternian Version of Atlas, but with 4 arms... Think Stone version of the Son of the Dude and Sheeva from MK 3 after Rita Repulsa made it play with her wand. Now take that dude and put him in a similar position to Atlas. Well to be more specific Holding the Planet together to prevent it from splitting in half.

Sure he has 2 More Arms, which means more Articulation by default, but he has an INTEGRAL POINT OF ARTICULATION that the other two giants lack: Bicep Swivel. Be VERY CAREFUL WHEN PUTTING IN THE ARMS!! There were stories about people breaking the pegs by forcing the wrong arm in.

Paint and Sculpt:
He's Beige... VERY BEIGE, or more of a sand color with some slight shading to make the Reused from Megator parts look more sandy/rocky. From the waist down he's pretty much Megator. From the waist up, Brand new (aside 1 or 2 Megator hands)

Big yellow Ball known as the Star Seed. I only wish we had something to hold it aside Procrustus

Procrustus gets a 3.17 as his final score. Him I like the best of all, but his score is the lowest? I don't even know how that happened, but Math doesn't lie. I still have the same complaints with him as the rest, undersized, less Articulation (though the Bicep Swivels are amazeballs!) The only real issue is that you CAN'T Display Procrustus with Other Figures. He needs to be on his own protecting his Ball. I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but we kinda need Azdar, Belzar and Chazdar in Classics...

Mar 23, 2016

It Came From the Toy Chest: Robert Patrick Edition

After The Governator let it slip that... "He'll be back!" For a Sequel to Genisys... I thought: Nefty! You should do a Terminator Themed Review... So I looked at the pile of Housewarming gifts that I got and the choices were: NECA's Ultimate T-1000 or a Sex Doll...

The choice was Difficult, either I made a review of the one role Robert Patrick CANNOT RUN AWAY FROM, or I made a review about a Doll whose sole purpose is to be a semen receptacle... The choice is REALLY HARD!!

I still haven't figure out how to review the Sex Doll in a SFW manner, so I went with the easier solution: The T-1000.

I guess this is the part where I give the NECA WARNING about their QC and to be Super Duper Extra Careful when Swapping Parts to avoid Breakage.

Do I even need to explain who the T-1000 is? No, I shall leave it to a Professional!
Take it away, Arnie!

So let's get cracking!

He has balljointed neck, shoulders, elbows wrist, thighs, knees, and ankles. The only non-balljointed articulation point is the waist.

Paint and sculpt:
The paintjob is pretty detailed with rivets, buttons and other small accessories painted. Even the metal pin holding a pen on his shirt is painted. Sadly in some areas it can be a bit sloppy. The sculpt is amazing. Robert Patrick's likeness is very well represented in plastic. Even the Battle Damaged pieces look very much like their Movie Counterparts.

5 Hands, 2 Extra Forearms, 1 gun, 1 alternate Torso, 3 Heads and 1 gun. The only thing we're missing is the Glitched legs, head and right arm... But I guess NECA could still do a "Liquid Metal T-1000


The T-1000 gets a 4.67 as his final score. It's a versatile figure with TONS of Display Potential. I do have one tiny nitpick with the Splitting Headache head. It doesn't fit on the balljoint correctly. I also have an issue with his gun holster, but the figure is so fun that I can ignore said nitpicks. This is a Display piece kind of Toy (due to NECA's recent QC issues). If you can, get a stand. I'm not sure if he'll survive a shelf dive.

Mar 22, 2016

Hulkamania Keeps running wild on Gawker!!

And  the Jury wants to see Gawker crash and burn! They are adding $25 Million for punitive damage in ADDITION to the $115 Million. Now more than ever it's obvious that the scuzzbuckets at crapper Media are going to try to get an appeal. I hope they do not succeed at it.
both sites are owned by the same company.
So now we just wait and see how the Gawker crumbles... They deserve it!

Mar 21, 2016

Injustice: Kombatants Among Us

So, Injustice is an older game for PS3, but I found it for PS4 and I'm going to review this game made by Netherrealm Studios... As the title says, it's from the Mortal Kombat People.

One Kickass Techno Song later...
So Remember that DC Game no one talks about... The one where the DC Superheroes meet Kombatants? Dammit! you made me talk about that game!

Well, Netherrealm Studios made an attempt to make us forget that game with Injustice: Gods Among Us.

So, you know that DC has their infinite Earths and that sometimes Crises happen... Well, here we got another of those...
On a parallel Universe, Joker Tricks Superman into Killing Lois Lane and his unborn child (and accidentally blow up Metropolis via a Nuke connected to Lois' vitals.) This of course angers Superman who goes all Kombatant and Finishes the Joker. He then makes the world KNEEL BEFORE Z- I mean Kal-El!

Of course, there is ONE MAN who is against this and is the leader of the Insurgents... Can you guess who this is?

You guessed right. Well, HE Teleports Wonder Woman, The Green Pedophile, Aquaman, and The Green Arrow for help. The Joker (not voiced by Mark Hamill) and Batman, accidentally tag along. Now that the pieces are in place we have the heroes of one world trying to save a whole new world. Some heroes are villains in this world and viceversa.


It's rather obvious that it's a PS3 game ported to PS4, but I'm not docking too much because of that, because the graphics are decent. My main beef is that Wonder Woman looks a bit too manly. Mostly because of her broad shoulders and somewhat manly face... I know they were trying to Xena her up a bit, but something is off on her.

Now that I think of it, All the women in the game look somewhat manly. The least manly looking would be Hawkgirl. (at least for MK X, Netherrealm learned how to make more feminine looking women)

Sounds and Music:
The Music is nice. It kinda has a Justice League Cartoon vibe in some pieces, the rest sound Fighting Game-like.
The voice acting is where I want to spend most of the time, seeing that THIS TIME they bothered in getting Decent VAs for the characters... Many Reprising past DC Roles...
We have George Newbern as Sephiro... I mean Superman! We have Kevin Conroy as the Goddamn Batman, Troy Baker playing Nightwing, Grey DeLisle as Catwoman, Kimberly Brooks as Barbara Gordon, Adam Baldwin as Green Lantern, Phil LaMarr as John Stewart, Jennifer Hale as Killer Frost, Susan Eisenberg as Wonder Woman, tara Strong as Harley Quinn (and Raven, but not using her normal Raven Voice... sad face), Khary Payton as Cyborg (Booyah!), Alan Tudyk as Green Arrow, and Stephen Amell AS GREEN ARROW in the CW Arrow Costume... We also have Lacey Chabert as Zatanna. Holy crap! Yeah! I almost forgot, we have Ed Boon as Scorpion. yippee...

This game is kinda like a Lighter MK IX and a bit Proto-MKX. If you've played both of those games you kinda know what to expect. The X-Rays are the Super Moves, you interect with the backgrounds in the same way and there's a new Element called Clash. When you've lost your first Lifebar and are trapped in a combo attack by your opponent, you can activate the clash. There both players wager their superbar in hopes of winning the clash. If you activate the Clash and Win, you get extra health. If your opponent activates the Clash and LOSES, you do extra damage. Think of it like a Super Flashy Break.
Other than that it plays like a Junior version of MK (like Monopoly Junior is to real Monopoly)
This game has a Mortal Kombat Styled Story Mode, an Arcade Mode, and different game modes with various handicaps, so offline gamers CAN ENJOY THE GAME FOR A LONG LONG TIME!

They are SIMILAR to MK, but not the same. Instead of 4 Attacks, we have 3: Weak, Medium, Strong. The 4th Face Button is for Character specific "Power". you can shoot Arrows with Green Arrow, switch weapon with Nightwing, boost your attack with Superman, etc. Block is no longer tied to a specific Button, but in traditional 2D fighter fashion is now relegated to pushing the D-Pad away from your opponent.
The controls are responsive and intuitive once you get over the fact of playing a Mortal Kombat game where Block does not have a specific button.

Injustice gets an 8.6 as its final score. Making a Fun DC Game has been hard and so far the only Recent Success has been the Arkham series, well, Netherrealm pulled it off. a Non-Arkham DC game that is fun to play and a rather satisfying Fighting game loaded with Content... Unlike OTHER COMPANIES that shall remain nameless... If somehow you were like me and did not play it, DO IT!! It's a fun game... But Scorpion is a wasted slot... So many DC Villains they could have used to fill in that gap... I get it Netherrealm's Mascot is Scorpion, but he looks completely out of place...

Now I wait for  KoF XIV...

Holy crap! I missed Winter Wrap Up 2016!!

To be fair, I was sort of Cleaning and Playing Injustice, more of the second than the first, (review will show up soon) but in any case here's the Theme:

So, My laziness will be punished later... in ways that you should not know of, but the Christian Grey crap will seem tame next to what I'll do to punish myself...

In any case here's some odds and ends!

Anti Eternia He-Man may be coming in April... I don't speak German but I can deduce that out of this picture.

I think he looks cool... For a Blastic He-Man... Hey! Someone had to make the joke, Y'know! I MAY try and get one. I did underpants an order Hssss for the Masters of the Yugiverse Classics.

Batman v. Superman is coming this week, finally. There's a rumor going around that Ben Affleck did some rewrites dressed up as Batman. He of course denies it. Or hints as he does his rewrites Naked... but still, can you imagine BATMAN rewriting BvS? That would have been more hilarious than Vandalizing Cavill's Trailer with Goddamn Bat-memorabilia.

Keeping things in the BvS Mood in advent of the movie FINALLY coming.
Let's roll the clip.

Here's the thing: New Yorkers, as I've been told, simply don't give a damn! There's nothing unique about a 6'1" white guy with dark hair sporting a Superman T-Shirt. sure he may be the guy playing Superman, but he plays Superman in the WORST SUPERMAN MOVIE EVER. Yes, it even beat Super Deadbeat Dad Returns. I mean, Suck Snyder was far less subtle than Hideo Kojima with his Superman = Jesus analogy... All he was missing was

with a bit of Aslan to complete the RAMMING IT DOWN YOUR FACE.
Many People HATED the Man of Steel. It's understandable, seeing that Snyder screwed up Superman. The hero everyone looks up to. what we should aspire to be. The man has the powers of a god, but chooses to SERVE mankind instead of RULING IT. He's supposed to give people HOPE instead of FEAR. Superman is the ANTI-BATMAN, but what Snyder made was a Batman with super Powers.

Seeing that the reactions for the movie were mixed, it's easy to see why no one recognized the star of the Man of Stool while parading on Times Square.

Mar 19, 2016

Jared is getting his ass kicked in jail... In other news Water is Wet!!

Yeah, there's a bit of news stating that Jared is getting beat up in Prison.
Now that's not the interesting thing about this...
Pecking Order...

According to Prison Rules, Jared is the lowest of lowest in the Prison Pecking Order. His only prison friends are others like him. (not even snitches... who get stitches want to associate with him.) He's backed by his Pedo Crew... They even have a Tennis team! League!
Holy crap! a Kiddie Diddler Tennis League. Also he seems to be gaining weight... Dude, the fatter your ass gets, the more cushion for the pushing you are adding... You're supposed to get emaciated, then you're kept safer in the medical area.

Seriously, NO ONE THOUGHT THAT JARED WOULD BE IN TROUBLE AFTER BEING CONVICTED!? I seem to remember EVERYONE making Jared is going to be eating a lot of $5 Footlongs in jail jokes... So, then why is anyone even surprised that Jared is a target in prison...

Mar 18, 2016

Hulkamania ran wild all over Gawker, brotha!

Awww! Poor little Gawker! Nick Denton's gossip company will have to pay the Hulkster $115 Million for their little Hulkster sex tape stunt... 
Of course we'll see the Turds at Crapper media trying to weasel out of paying the money and this may force the Hulkster to lay the smack down on them again!!

In the meantime I'll be celebrating in honor of the Hulkster's victory over Gawker.

Now, I do not think that the Hulkster is a saint, but taking Gawker a few pegs down is worth celebrating, especially if one is a gamer.
Hopefully, Gawker will learn from this... who am I kidding, these douchenozzles are too stubborn to do the right thing.

Mar 16, 2016

Sequels, why did it have to be sequels?

Yes, that's right! We ARE getting a Sequel to The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It'll be released in 2019 and Harrison Ford will be 77 by then... a 77 Year Old Indiana Jones running about raiding tombs and fighting Not-Nazis, seeing that Crystal Skull was in 1957.

Here's my Beef and I am not talking about Praising God for it... Harrison Ford was in his Early 70s (72-73-ish) while Filming The Force Awakens and all he did was pretty much complain and
became the next Aerith... It's been four months, it's now fair game!! Indiana Jones Movies are more Action Packed than what he had to do in Star Wars.

Yeah, I can definitely see the 75-77-ish year old man pulling all these off!
This opens up my greatest fear...
No, no,nonononono NOOO!!
The Return! Of! THE BEEF!!

Will this be the SECOND ATTEMPT to pass off the Torch to Mutt Williams? Or will we see a FINAL SIXTH INDIANA JONES MOVIE in 202X?

They kinda ruined the Whole "LAST CRUSADE" thing with the poopy Crystal Skull...

Mar 15, 2016

King Hiss Screwjob 6: He is finally here!

Not HERE HERE as in It Came From the Toy Chest HERE, but he was finally made available to subscribers... Through a Subscriber exclusive special webpage. Sure we were limited to 3 King Hisses, period; but he was $20. So that's a good thing, right?

OK, no matter how we slice it we ARE GETTING SCREWED BY Mattel! But at least it's not as painful as we expected. I got one he's coming, but the good thing is that he has ALL The Snake Men accessories sword, shield, Polearm and Club... Thinking of Giving Rattlor the Other Club so he can have a pair of Maracas... He's a rattlesnake... I may give the Polearm to snakeface. Hsss gets the Sword... I'll think about that when he gets here.

Non-Subscribers will have to wait until he's available... IF he doesn't sell out, that is! In any case, the Torsogate is over for now...

Now whose butt do I have to kiss in order to get the complete set of New Adventures characters in MOTUC Scale with MOTUC Articulation?

Mar 14, 2016

Baywatch Movie is happening...

Some people stay in the darkness afraid to step into the light... and you're picturing Pam Anderson... Stop it!

I have something really important to say...
Mitch Buchannon is no longer The Hoff...

The Movie is Rated R and has Alexandra Daddario from Percy Jackson in it...
It also has another actor from San Andreas...

The Hoff is now The Rock!!

I... I don't know how I should Feel about this... Baywatch, Rated R, Alexandra Daddario, The Rock...
The R-Rating means possible nudity and Daddario has done nude scenes before. Then again, we have The Rock in it and he might show off The People's Buttcheeks! (I've heard that The Rock is kinda Related to Rikishi...) and now that the Spirit Walkers have made a ton of fuss about female nudity in movies, People's Buttcheeks are most likely. Maybe even a flaccid People's weiner.
According to IMDB, Kelly Rohrbach will be the new CJ Parker... and Zac Effron is in it too! So, we might get a High School Musical Buttshot!

Of course we're going to get a bunch of F-Bombs because of the R Rating.
But this Overly PC era scares me because it'll make Baywatch Bomb HARD... Let's be honest

THIS is why people watched Baywatch. But we'll just have to wait and see if this movie is Electrifying or if it Rock Bottoms.

All jokes aside, there is only one person who should have played Mitch Buchannon...

Mar 13, 2016

Arkham Origins: The Black Sheep of the Arkham series.

To be fair, it's the only Arkham Game not made by Rocksteady.
The equivalent to this game would be... You know why Tim Burton had to leave Batman Forever? Studio interference. They wanted to sell more toys and Batman Returns was too freaking dark for Early 90s children. That's why Batman Forever was a bit campy.

And we know what happened to the sequel.

The game was made by WB Games Montreal and is pretty much a Re-Skinned Arkham City, but slightly clunkier... Will get into that later.

So, The title is partially a lie. People would read the title as a "Batman Begins" type of affair, but Batman has been around for some time (2 years) The game is more of an "Origin Story" To the Arkham Trilogy... Think of it as the Wolverine Origins to Arkham Asylum's First X-Men.

Christmas eve: AGDB 2 (Anno God Damn Batman) There's a riot at Blackgate and seems Black Mask is behind it. Batman goes and does his thing to find out he has a bounty on his head:
Lady Shiva, Electrocutioner, Firefly, Deadshot, Copperhead (who is now a woman), Killer Croc, Bane, and Deathstroke are after Bats for their own reasons and the money is a nice bonus. Then we get a rather lame Plot Twist because if we have a BAT Shaped Crutch for DC Movies, for batman games we have a Peculiar Villain used as a Crotch...

The Joker appears here, because Batman.

This is one of the higher points of the Arkham games (and seeing they use the Unreal Engine, we should have some decent graphics.) The art style is consistent with the Arkham series, though Teen Barbara Gordon looks a bit like a bobble head. The gritty look of Gotham looks slightly slushier now. Not sure if it's on purpose or not, but could have looked a bit better.

Sounds and music:
Music is forgettable and what little there is doesn't necessarily feel "Batman-y". Voices on the other hand... It's a mixed bag.
Alfred, Firefly, Deathstroke, Penguin, Vicki Vale, Jack Rider, Harleen Quinzel have the Same VAs as in Arkham Knight, which is a good thing. One tiny nitpick is that Harleen Quinzel sounded a bit too much like Princess Bookhorse instead of an Arlene Sorkin impression. (even I can nitpick about Tara Strong...)
Joker is played by Troy Baker, who is an adequate replacement for Mark Hamill. But Sanic the Hedgehog/Ezio Auditore pulled off a VERY convincing Batman. Didn't notice that it wasn't Kevin Conroy until I began replaying Asylum. While I enjoyed Baker's performance, I REALLY MISSED Hamill.

They are based in the Arkham series, I think they're closer to the Arkham City control scheme. Asylum has a slightly different layout. Small issue aside, the controls are fairly responsive, aside combat scenarios. The WB Montreal team must have done something since Batman is SLIGHTLY Sluggish (Justified by the "Origin" story) than Arkham City or even Asylum. The addition of Armored Enemies makes the Free Flow Combat grind into a halt. Seriously, unless you have the shock gloves on, they block everything unless you cape stun them first. Paired with the increase in AI difficulty by the enemies, spotty weapon locking action. (Chances are that if you activate the quick use weapon like the Bat Claw to disarm gun-toting enemies, you'll shoot the claw to a random direction.

Remember Arkham City, well... Take out Catwoman and this game is Arkham City Rehashed. Some of the Riddler quests are replaced by Anarky tags or Cyrus Pinkney Quests... but with slightly sluggish controls! Did I mention the game is Glitchy and has poor collision detection with the grappling hook? Well, it does

Batman: Arkham Origins gets a 6.7 as its final score. It's more complete than SFV, but it feels incomplete... I mean:

At least Arkham Knight lets you beat up Nygma after all the crap he puts you through.

Just skip this game. So not worth it.

Mar 12, 2016

You could win a Free He-Man from Mattycollector*

*The catch is that you have to be within the US in order to participate on this Mattycollector contest.
This screenshot is from the Mattycollector Facebook page detailing the contest...
Once again, Everyone outside the US gets the Shaft...
I don't know what to say, aside that this is not news, seeing all past Matty Contests have been US Only. Still it bums me out because it's another contest for a FREE TOY that I'm missing out because of Logistics!

Giving away 5 He-Man figures does not solve the issue about people not being able to get one. Especially to those outside Continental US...

Mar 10, 2016

Wait... Spidey's here!?

Are you ready True Believers for EXCELSIOR!! NUFF' SAID!! whatever Else Stan Lee would say!
Captain America 3 Trailer is here... Now with more Spider-Man!

Marvel's Captain America- Civil War - Trailer 2 por comicbookdotcom
I, I don't know what to say! I see Spidey, the suit looks Traditional with a slight deviation to the Comic Book costume, but not Square Enix Deviated and a bit more Credible to have been made by a kid and not a professional movie studio.
Buuuuuut! There is something off about it. I KNOW the Lenses for his Mask are CGI to have the comic book accurate expressive Spidey eyes, but the suit looks a bit Animated... If you know what I mean. At the same time it has a John Romita Sr. Vibe to it...
I'm so excited!!

SONY is getting more hate... Now it goes International.

Thanks to IGN we on the US (and Territories) got a chance to see the International Trailer to the Cacatastic and Poopular Ghost Bust Hers Cinematic abomination by Paul Feige. (link is on IGN)

Oh Phoque!
Four Scientists Saved New York is now Four Friends Saved the World.
They show us the new Busters and once again the first "joke" is ghost facial followed up by Kristen Wiig complaning about getting slime off of her anus and vagina. Seems like the movie wants us to picture Kristen Wiig trying to remove the slime off of her every crack. Imagine if we had gotten a me soggy knee stick director...

I didn't notice the thing about the "Bear Ghost Trap" before. It has "Laser teeth" and when it closes it pretty much creates a bunch of laser "slash attacks" as the bear trap closes. With the trap being so near to the eyes of the "Busters", they should have been blinded by them.
New "joke" about Wiig pushing instead of pulling a door.

Chris Hemsworth is the new Janine and he's hired on the spot because he's hot...
Reverse Sexes here and we'd have the Feminists crying about Soggy Knees...
They keep the lame insecure "Who's the leader?" attempt at a "joke".
Ugh! the new Mosh Pit Scene is beyond Cringeworthy.
"I dunno if this was a race thing or a lady thing, but I'm mad as hell!" Comedy Gold, people! The Rather Large Black Woman carrying a heavy and unlicensed nuclear accelerator on her back was not able to Stage Dive into a Crowd-surf after the Rather Large, but not as large White Woman carrying a heavy and unlicensed nuclear accelerator on her back was able to make a Stage Dive into a Crowd-surf. SONY is counting on this to flop and they're using "racism and sexism" as their scapegoats.

I chuckled at the Ghost Logo joke. I have to admit. Buuut this movie is getting criticism. People are calling it the Female Equivalent to Adam Sandler Movies (recent movies)
The best description I've seen is this one:
Imagine like if your dad was dead and then a clown came and put on his clothes and went like "hey I'm your dad! Isn't this fun!"

Yikes! This, in addition to the Spidey-less Venom makes me VERY WORRIED about He-Man...

Mar 9, 2016


Are you even aware that Venom's origin is EXTREMELY TIED to Spider-Man?
You can't go making a "Venom" WITHOUT a Spidey...

Last comic book movie about a Villain without its Hero worked so fine...

Venom, no matter how you slice it, NEEDS Spider-Man to exist.

Here's what I'd do to bring Venom into a movie:

We have Spidey's first appearance on Captain America 3: Civil War

We have the Sony Spidey Solo movie vs a Classic Villain: I wanna say Mysterio because of the Crazy SFX madness he can bring to the picture. Here Peter gets the symbiote/cancer suit thing that remains dormant for some time.

We have the second Sony movie where Spidey is after Morbius (more in line with the 616 version... Roll the clip)

I love this Morbius clip... but back on topic. Morbius is chased by the greatest Hunter of all: Sergei Kravinoff.(who is more like his 616 version but has a show like his ultimate version.) Spidey's first encounter with Morbius, where he bites Peter awakens the symbiote, which cures him of his vampirism and gives him the black suit. During the final battle against Kraven AND Morbius Peter saves Kraven's Camera man (Eddie Brock) from an Explosion Unbeknownst to Peter, parts of the suit bond to Eddie.

With Kraven arrested for many illegal actions for his hunt, Eddie lost his job. his wife Anne dumps him and (on the post credits scene) attempts to commit suicide, which the symbiote stops as it awakens.

Now that we have the set up for the Venom movie, here's what I'd do for his movie.
Eddie Brock is pissed off... His life was ruined and now he's making a list of people he has a grudge with and he will make them PAY!! Yup! My idea for Venom the movie is a Revenge Story where Eddie Brock is killing everyone who wronged him all the way to Peter Parker: Spider-Man. Eddie as Venom is killing people gruesomely while the Police and Spider-Man (who plays a smaller role in this movie) are trying to catch the Killer. Spider-Man wants to clear his name seeing that the murder victims are being webbed up throughout New York. At the end of the Film, Venom faces Spider-Man in a battle to the death. The symbiote ends up being destroyed as it tries to save Peter from dying. A broken Eddie is arrested  and sent to prison. On a post Credits scene we have Eddie on death row. Another cellmate threatens to kill Brock... This triggers a Symbiote fragment that remained in Brock regenerating slowly to awaken. Brock proceeds to escape and heavily wound the Prisoner before realizing Venom is back and escape. The camera pans back to the wounded Prisoner and we see bits of the symbiote enter the man's body through the wounds. As the bits of symbiote enter the prisoner's wounds we hear a slower version of this song playing in the background.

The Venom Movies would be rated R, due to violence and gore. Definitely NOT for kids. Spider-Man's appearance does not mean they are for kids. Yes, I said MOVIES, because we need at least two of them and yes: Venom 2 would have the Maximum Carnage Subtitle. (and yes, Maximum Carnage would Feature Spidey in it and kinda be like a Buddy Cop movie.) Then the THIRD and most likely final movie would be: Lethal Protector with Eddie moving to San Francisco and trying to use his powers responsibly.

Sadly, Sony wants to have their own Deadpool and will Screw Up Venom Badly.

On a totally unrelated Note: Why is Zendaya being cast for a Spidey movie?

But you haven't finished Tropes v. Women in videogames!? why are you moving on?

Ah, You REALLY WANT People to think of you as a scam Artist, aren't ya?
You are not fulfilling your promise of Tropes vs Women in videogames, to the point that you Altered the deal and blamed your depression on it. Seeing that your Jack Thompson-esque crusade against videogames failed HARD(er than the reactions SONY expected for the GB Reboot); you're moving on to a different Project.

Let's be honest here. I am a bit interested in this project, because Read the Title:
Ordinary Women: Daring to Defy History

Tell me if that doesn't sound like an interesting title. It's about strong women throughout history that dared to stand up against the norm. There have been a few popular women through History like Cleopatra, or Margaret Thatcher just to name two. Now this is a project where she is supposed to shine through because this is NOT Videogames

and she's admitted she doesn't like videogames. Here, she can talk about something she likes and it IS Noticeable.

Compared to her soulless droning when doing TvWiVG (It could be because she's in Pitchwoman mode.) Seriously, there's a spark in her eyes that was missing when doing the TvWiVG videos.
While it seems like an interesting premise, I do not trust her. That's why I will not post any link for donations and say that you should NOT DONATE to her. I'd like to see this if it were made, but you should NOT DONATE TO THIS PROJECT. Why?

-Tropes vs Women in videogames got 26 times the money she claimed she needed to complete the series. She did not complete the series on time. We're reaching the 4th year AFTER it was supposed to be completed and still nothing. (she wanted $6,000 back then)

-She haphazardly "worked through" the series to the point that she's adding unrelated videos (like McIndouche's "Privileges for being Male" video as part of the series) in order to pad her work, but she's decreased the quality of said videos by turning the promised 20+ minute videos to 5-10 Minute videos.

-Now she wants $200,000 for this project. See the issue here? She couldn't deliver a series that was supposed to cost $6,000 when she got 26 times the amount she needed, but now she wants TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!? No. Just no. (I know animation isn't cheap but Remember her top notch animation with The Legend of the Last Princess idea pitch that no one made into a game?) I also forgot, part of the money is to see her play dress up. She's going to dress up like the women she'll speak about.
Also, you're doing Ching Shih? As in the one who had a code that said if a Pirate raped a Woman they were killed, BUT if a Pirate had CONSENSUAL SEX with a woman, he was beheaded and the woman was given Cannonball shoes and tossed to the ocean? Google it! Ching Shih's pirate code... Remember that this is the same 'Nita who complained about random female videogame characters being killed. She's cool with a Pirate... who killed real women for having consensual sex. I'm confused here.

IF this project was being made by a Different Company, I'd be excited about this. Sadly, the person behind this project has me very worried about this. She is not to be trusted.

Mar 6, 2016

The end of Mythbusters happened last night.

Now I have no reason to watch Discovery Channel... Yes, I'm aware that I've complained about the show having jumped the shark for quite some time. At the same time, the sense of Familiarity of having Adam and Jamie do science on my TV will now be gone...

I cried while watching this... I mean, It's nearly 14 years of Mythbusters... I was a somewhat naive college student. Now, I am Older, maybe wiser, jury is still out on that.

To be honest, it was quite a sentimental episode... Jamie and Adam killed Buster one Final time...

And I truly mean that they killed him for real this time...
He pretty much disintegrated... Farewell, you big dummy!

All that's left on the Channel is basically shows I don't care about. Moonshiners, Deadliest Catch, Naked and Afraid (and censored... I mean what's the deal of nudity if you're going to censor it?), and Dual Survival without Cody Lundin.

Speaking of which, the History Channel has not shown me this guy's latest antics...
Did he finally became an Invisible Watermelon spokesperson?

Oh, he's doing another show about Aliens... Well, looks like History Channel will be the new nerdy channel for me... When they're not doing Pawn Stars marathons... But will I get bored about Hitler shows almost every other day?

Thundercats and the plague of New Tooling

I've mentioned this before in past Thundercats rants. A lot of Thundercats characters would require new tooling and we know that Mattel can be a little allergic to that.

Well, in some cases, depending on how the rights are tied to certain body parts of figures from other Mattel toylines, they COULD work out some issues...
I mean DC/WB are the owners of both Thundercats and DC Universe. MAYBE they COULD use some DCUC parts to make some characters... Looking at the Kilowog/Validus buck in particular for a certain Lunattak.
Amuck would benefit from them.
Tug-Mug would be a new head and Torso, while reusing MOTUC Arms and a new left hand.
Red-Eye could also benefit from the Kilowog/Validus body reuse.
Chilla has tons of parts reuse as well as Alluro.
Crap! I've just helped the Lunattaks to get made...

The only place where New Tooling is severely NEEDED for Thundercats would be in The Berserkers. Mainly their cybernetic parts.
Hammerhand can be made with most of the Standard body, aside the Cybernetic oversized parts that weren't THAT oversized in the cartoon.

Cruncher could use some of those Kilowog/Validus buck parts.
Ram Bam is basically a slightly modified Standard figure (with an overlay that could be made similar to Dragstor)

Top Spinner may need some new tooling (shorter limbs.) in order to be cartoon accurate.

That's the funny thing here: If we go for Cartoon Accuracy, then the characters don't need THAT MUCH new Tooling. If we go for TOY Accuracy, then New Tooling is needed more often than not to accommodate the action features.

There are MANY questions surrounding this line. We don't know how big will it be. Is it just the Cats, Mutants and Mumm-Ra? Will it add other stuff? So far all we know is that we're getting, cats, Mutants and Mumm-Ra. Grune is a Former Thundercat, so he counts as Cat. 2017 is where we'll learn about the scope of the line.

Mar 5, 2016

The Paramount Vault on Youtube

Y'know that I love NINJAS, right? Here's where I make a crass joke about me getting a stealthy assassin boner, but I won't because The Paramount Vault on Youtube is such a ninja movie cocktease.

They have a ton of movies in there, but I'm running under a small issue. ALL THE FREAKING MOVIES ARE BLOCKED!!!
I have to wonder if the Paramount Vault was DMCA'd to hell and this is what happened. It would be hilarious though.

I am now a featured writer on Man-at-Arms Workshop

That's pretty much it... I am now a Featured Writer at Man-at-Arms workshop.
I will be doing some Reviews, editorials, it'll depend on what I'm feeling to write about.
Also I have to keep things under wraps in order to avoid

Thanks, Dr. Song!

As I was saying, the Man-at-Arms workshop specializes in Custom Items for MOTU.
Remember the DC She-Ra sword? Well, thanks to my twice in a row Loo-Kee-dar powers I got a gig as a writer... but to stop redundancy, my First Article is Up!
It's a Custom head by IBBMT. King Miro.

Check out the Review At Man-at-Arms Workshop! Just don't forget to keep checking back here for rants and stuff... For the usual!

Mar 4, 2016

Genderbent Reboot gets trailer... Who you gonna call?

Someone else...

Here it is and before I rant I must point out the positives.
-Better Effects than the 1984 movie.
-Kate McKinnon is kinda funny in the trailer. (I chuckled at the wig scene.) But at the same time she seems to be playing Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus in this.

-It TRIES to use Nostalgia in order for you to like it. Hell it references the Original right out the bat... AND it gets it wrong: 1984 + 30 = 2016... Common Core at its finest!
-First joke is Kristen Wiig complaining about slime getting in EVERY CRACK OF HER BODY and being hard to wash off.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new GB movie starts with women getting vomit-slimed (not saying it's a ぶっかけ reference, but it totally looks like it) and how hard it is to get the slime off of her vagina and anus... Roll the Oozinator clip!

-Leslie Jones is "The Winston" and is playing the loudmouth sassy black woman... How long we'll have to wait until an Aw Hell Naw! is uttered by her in the movie? and it happens on the trailer at 2:11... WHY!? Do I need to point out how the three white women are scientists, and the black woman is not?

-They dragged Slimer into this... (and according to IMDB, Sigourney Weaver and Annie Potts too)
-Melissa McCarthy gets slimed... CALLED IT!
-Leslie Jones bitchslaps Melissa McCarthy... Cause Feminism? Cue angry 'Nita calling Soggy Knee!
Nope! nothing... Probably Jonny Appledouche didn't let her tweet today!

Now I think Maddox puts this situation Perfectly:

I don't like gender being used as a gimmick. This is perfect: they've created a movie beyond reproach. If anyone criticizes it, they're instantly sexist. Nevermind that the jokes fell flat, the Ecto-1 looks even more dated than the original, the premise is absurd and they rely on slap gags--nevermind all of that. If the movie fails--it's not their fault for making a bad movie, it's the fault of the patriarchy for being sexist. There's no universe in which this movie could be criticized without the specter of "sexism" looming in the minds of people who defend it. It's the perfect alibi for failure.
Now look at the Original Trailer for the REAL Ghostbusters

There's a dick joke in it, but it's SUBTLE. In the 2016 abomination, subtlety is non-existent.

Mar 2, 2016

Celebrating Fuller House getting a Season 2

Remember the full House Sequel that was coming to Netflix? It got out and...
People are complaining, but mostly the same perennially offended people who are killjoys and need to retreat into their safespaces... But Netflix is like, "Whatevs'!" and we have a Season 2 coming...

In order to celebrate Season 2, I shall post a pic of the Two reasons most dudes are watching Fuller House.
I'd make a reference as to these being the best pair of twins in the entire series AND it's prequel, but that would be "sexist, soggy knee stick!" and more buzzwords, but come on! Everyone must have thought DAYUM! Lil' Stephanie Tanner grew up! (and having flashbacks to Bob Saget's stand up comedy...)

But, aside Steph's Marvelous Mammary Mega Melons... (Yeah! I've been aching to use that alliteration for quite some time. Mmmm!) The next best thing the show has is Jabs at the Olsen Twins!

So, let's see if the Sequel can match the Original's 8 seasons...
Also, screw the Olsen Twins... not in that way, dude!

Re-Analyzing my dislike for the Filmation Sub-Line.

While, I know most of the blame on why Filmation He-Man failed is on Mattel's shoulders; I feel like I must clarify WHY I put SOME of the blame on the FourHorsemen.
Engineering might have messed up, but some of the sculpt IS messed up and that's the FourHorsemen's fault here. I'm sorry for saying this, but it's true.
The weird shin issue with He-Man was IN THE PROTOTYPE, so there's no way I can blame Mattel here.
Look at the Skeletor Prototype. His shins look anatomically correct based on how the curve of the muscles looks natural from the naked flesh section of his shins going down unto the booted section. With He-Man it looks VERY WRONG.
In the cartoon the shins had a more natural curve to them.
Now if we add the "Muffin top effect where some of the Flesh areas on his legs seem wider than the fur trim, we have a problem with the sculpt.

We then have the lack of detail on the fur areas...

Now before you go Phoenix Wright on me, hear me out!

I've already talked about how the MOTUC Body Clashes with the Filmation Parts. What I mean is this:

Look at the following pics from the Cartoon:
Pay attention to the spiky ends on the furry parts, Loincloth, boots, that kind of thing.

Now if you look at the He-Man figure, you'll see what I mean:
The fur trim on his boots and his loincloth look like chewed gum.

Now if this is because of Mattel's "Safety Standards", then Mattel sucks, because The "Pointy edges on the boot trims" would be on the boot itself and wouldn't get anyone's eye out. The loincloth is already of a softer Plastic, so there wouldn't be any real issue.

The sculpt on this pieces is too soft, which makes the Loincloth and fur trims on his (already flawed) boots look like globs of slime or already been chewed gum.
Can you see the difference now? A more jagged looking work on the boot trims to make the trim look a bit more like fur would have helped to make him more accurate.

Same thing with the Loincloth that should have been tucked under and glued to be more accurate to the source.

Now if this is a What you see in 2D cannot be properly translated into 3D, then Mattel should have allowed a bit more detail in order for the fur parts to read AS FUR.

I know the Horsemen CAN DO BETTER, we have seen it in Classics.

But, there is one thing bugging me:
 How did these Inferior Sculpts got approved by Mattel. I mean, they were going on about High Quality when they threw Neitlich under the bus.

I KNOW that these figures can be made easily, LOOK Filmation Accurate and have a little bit of detail on the furry areas so they read as fur...

I mean, the People who made the He-Man Statue were able to pull it off.

I know the statue is "Larger" and "has no Articulation" But it has a Softer sculpt than a Toy Based He-Man that is detailed enough to have the fur read as fur.

The saddest thing of all this is that the Horrible failed boots and Loincloth will reappear on all the characters tat use them and that's terrible!

Mar 1, 2016

It came from the Toy Chest: Tito the Builder... Can he fix it?

No, he can't because he ain't no Bob... Wait, wasn't he a Dino Herder?
I am talking, of course about Tytus, the Tiny Giant. Like Megator after him (Matty Order) before him (House of Rants order) Tytus is a MOTUC Tiny Giant and has less Articulation than a Standard Figure, is Smaller than his vintage counterpart. He was a Rare figure in the Vintage Line and he was made in Classics early on. Let's see what the fuzz is all about.

Same as Megator, click on the link of the Megator Review to view the Giants' Articulation.
The only difference is a Partial Boot Cut... which is useless, since the shin has a weird angled cut to fit the boot. If you turn the boot a bit too much to any side, it reveals the ugly cut. but incredibly enough, the slight cut allows for a bit better posing of the giant.

Paint and Sculpt:
There is something bugging me about Tytus... He looks very familiar... The sculpt is pretty detailed, especially on the Harness, Belt and boots! It almost makes me wish we had those pieces in the 7-inch size. Paintjob is mostly clean

Yes, I went there...
His vintage weapon which is supposed to be some sort of "headhunter" thing, but it looks like a Vacuum... What is he some sort of Maid now?
it took 7 attempts to have Tytus
stand long enough for me to take a
photo of him holding his weapon high.

All jokes aside, I have a slight problem with this accessory:
It doesn't work! It cannot lift the figures unless you do some Heavy Mods to it, like He-Bro did.
The other problem has more to do with the Figure being Rotocast and his weapon too Heavy. He cannot hold the weapon above his head.

While yes, he is holding the weapon high on this pic, you cannot see what happened right after I took the pic: He fell backwards.
Tytus here gets a 3.33 as his final score. Had Tytus been a bit taller, more Articulated, and maybe had an Extra accessory, or 2, he could have easily been a 5.0 figure.