Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
In fact he called Hogan "a true Floridian, through and through" in other words Terry Bollea was a Real Florida Man.
This is the hardest thing about being a Hulkamaniac in 2025 brother! Most people can't separate the art from the Artist in some cases even the artist had some problems. So yeah, Terry Bollea, not a great person. Hulk Hogan... well, right until the mid 2000s afterwards Hogan and Bollea fused and the Hulkster got dragged down. While MAGA folks celebrate Hogan as a fallen Republican hero. Others will only celebrate the Wrestling Persona of the 80s, brother! Another group will piss on his grave metaphorically speaking. Whatever you choose, today's the day brother!
I had to take a stand, it don't help to hide... yes, I'm quoting my favorite Racist Wrestler, brother! The one, the only. The Immortal Hulk Hogan. What I'm trying to say, brother, is that Hulkamania ain't running wild no more! Not more 24 inch Pythons, brother.
Damn... to be fair, he was 71, and his life as a wrestler had taken a toll on his body, brother. I still can't believe that the Hulkster is dead, brother. I know that behind the scenes Terry Bollea was a massive asshole, opposite to his "drink your milk, eat your vitamins and say your prayers" persona. I know he was a racist asshole, hence the massive booing at Hogan when Raw went to Netflix. But he was one of my 80s heroes and it sucks that not only he became a villain, but he died without a chance at redemption.
My condolences to friends and family.
I won't wax poetically about Hulk Hogan, since his legacy is already well known brother! At least we still got Mr. America... wait, WHAT!? MR. AMERICA IS DEAD TOO!? TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT WRESTLERS DIED ON THE SAME DAY, BROTHER!? That's insane!
But not all hope is lost Brother! Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on their own Hulk Hogan movie, brother! Specifically a Gawker vs Hulk Hogan, Brother! Apparently, Affleck is gonna play Hogan, brother.
What you gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild over Ruthless Terrorist Organizations, brother!? In a parallel world, Sargeant Slaughter never joined GI Joe and instead we got Hulk Hogan. Alas, this is not that. This is a Hulk Hogan dressed in a Military styled outfit, which I was originally thinking of making a Human Rocksteady figure out of. Since the Valaverse Sgt. Slaughter is in a better place now... I thought of reviewing Hogan in his place... and the Classified Sgt. Slaughter too!
Articulation:
Hogan has the standard Elite figure articulation. Pretty much the same as the ye olde Hogan figure I reviewed many years ago...
This Hogan has better articulation range than the plder Hogan, since he doesn't have knee pads getting in the way.
4.5
Sarge: I don't know who you are, maggot, but I'm the one who gives the orders here! Hogan: Listen up, brother! No one tells me what to do! Because I am a Real American Hero, brother! Sarge: Wait! Orange and ends sentences woth "brother"... By any chance are you sporting ablond Handlebar muatache under the mask? Hogan: So NOW you recognize me, brother!
Paint and sculpt:
This Hulkster is VERY different from the older Hogan. First he has pants and with pants comes a more detailed sculpt than the standard naked buck... but the best part is the deranged face that screams "I'm going to fuck you up in 83 different ways, brother! And that's before I break out the vaseline!" Also, I love how Oompa Loompa Orange he is
5.0
Sarge: Hulk Hogan, you son of a bitch! What are you doing at GI Joe Headquarters!? Hogan: Same thing I should ask you, Sarge? Sarge: You ARE aware that I train Joes, right? Hogan: Well, I'll be damned! Cobra and Shadaloo sent me to a parallel Earth! Sarge: Wait, Parallel Earths? Hogan: Yeah... From what I've seen, These Joes are similar but different from mine... Sarge: What do you mean? Hogan: In My world, Mr. Jay dates Flint. In Yours, Flint is a man and dates a Lady Jaye. Sarge: What about Cobra and Destro? Hogan: They're one and the same. Shadaloo supplies weapons and tech to Cobra. Sarge: This is heavy, Hogan: That phrase is from Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future.
Accessories:
4 extra hands
Removable vest
Mask
Mr. Perfect BaF arms and extra hands.
4.0
Hogan: President Mondale assigned me as trainer of Joes... Sarge: What about Reagan? Hogan: He returned to acting until Alzheimer's kicked in, brother. Sarge: Who played Rambo? Hogan: Steven Seagal... don't tell me Schwarzenegger is Rambo here...
Overall:
Whatcha'gonna do when the Hulkster gets a 4.5 as his final score? Drink my mil, eat my vitamins and say my prayers, brother!
But that's not all. The only thing missing is the Sgt. Slaughter HALF of the review...
Sarge: Remember kids, you can buy your very own Sergeant Slaughter figure at Hasbro Pulse dot com! Hogan: Holy shit brother! You have Laser guns!? In my Earth we only have bullets!! IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER, BROTHER!!
Paint and sculpt:
I mentioned he shares parts with Roadblock, so he looks more like an idealized version of Robert Remus circa 1986. The likeness in the face is a lot better than the other Sergeant Slaughter.
5.0
Accessories:
Riding crop
Whitsle
Glasses
Hat
Rifle with removable sight and ammo clip
Whistle
6 extra hands
GI Joe figure
5.0
Hogan: Listen up, Shadaloo bitches, Whatcha'gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you!? Now with the help of the meanest, baddest, and toughest sonofabitch I know, Sergeant Slaughter! Sarge: Bison, remember this day, when GI Joe beat your sorry ass and Hulkamania ran wild on you. The fall of Shadaloo is your biggest defeat, but for me, it was Thursday.
Overall:
Sergeant Slaughter gets a 4.83 as his final Yo Joe! Score. Honestly, I don't think there's any way to improve on this Sergeant Slaughter figure.
Super7 has Andre the Giant as a small line based on him, kinda like Bruce Lee... they also have the Sunbow GI Joe line in ultimates, so they theoretically have Sgt. Slaughter... They need to get The Hulkster into a line somehow... well, Right now I'm not sure where the company stands with Hogan, but IF they're in Good standing, I have a good idea:
Taking the Club Grayskull approach of making them "cartoon accurate but slightly more realistic" would be perfect. They can crossover with other ultimates lines, like GI Joe, or random lines like Andre the Gia t, where you can swap the Toon Andre head and put it on a "Realistic Andre body" and you have Toon Andre in Ring attire. And a Realistic Andre in Toon Attire.
They could also release pseudo vintage figures like they did with Filmation MOTU and make these 100% toon accurate.
What's your angle, Nefty?
Super7 TMNT Compatible Hulk Hogan. That's my angle. Though Roddy Piper, Superfly Snuka, Captain Lou Albano, and The Iron Sheik make a more compelling argument for a crossover display.
Not returning to the ring, but he had been mostly hidden due to health complications a while back... well, he's back and better than ever... wait, did I just made an Eric Bischoff reference?
Quicl question:
Who Nefty's favorite WWE Superstar of All Time?
Well, he is coming to the MOTUWWE line, brother!
In a two pack with the Texas Rattlesnake for some reason... it should've been Jake the Snake Roberts... but I digress:
Snake Mountain themed ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin and:
Now the Origins Skeletor can feel the 24 inch pythons as Hulkamania runs wild on him!! Brother!
The rumored Hulk Hogan biopic starring Chris Hemsworth, former Brother-in-law to a Miley Cyrus, is still being worked on, brother... So far they were able to snag the director of the recent Joker movie, brother. Hemsworth was chosen by Hogan himself to play everyone's brother, brother! The movie will mostly center on the Hulkamania era when Hogan's popularity was at an all time, brother! I wonder if they'll touch Hogan's falling with the McMahons and Gawker no longer being Hogan's brother... brother!
Apparently, the movie will be a Netflix exclusive, brother!
Ziff Davis is apparently going to play that role. I pity the fools at Ziff Davis. Unless they change the whole Gawker into something they are not. It's good to know that the Hulkster is still following through. Hopefully, they will crash and burn!!
We've seen how Gawker has trashed people left and right and they think they're Above the Law... (No Steven Seagal movie reference intended) This time, they messed with the wrong guy and they're gonna pay for it... But we all know that they'll try to weasel out of paying the Hulkster, or at least keep trying to.
Cowboy lassoed Bike Bandit at Wal-Mart? I love Odd News and that kind of stuff, but this is the stuff of legends right here. Do you expect to hear or read soemthing as outlandish as that? This happened in Oregon... Come on! you knew an Oregon Trail Reference was bound to happen.
Here's a video of a News Article... I was hoping for some security camera footage... That would've been funny to see as it happened, alas.
Melissa McCarthy still doesn't get it. This Jimmy Kimmel Live clip shows the SONY PR Spin Machine working overtime.
Voice of the First Female Ghostbuster You also know her as Timmy Turner, Younger Ben Tennyson, Princess Book horse
We CAN HAVE FEMALE GHOSTBUSTERS, We had one already: The problem is more along the lines: It's a Freaking Reboot!! But keep playing the Misogyny card... No, It's not Women can't be funny either... We could have gotten Seth Rogen, James Franco, Kevin Hart, and Jonah Hill and We'd STILL BE COMPLAINING ABOUT IT BEING A FREAKING REBOOT!
Now SONY (more likely Amy Pascal) CHOSE to have a Genderbent cast as a gimmick. (said it before, but this point needs to be remade every time they mention misogyny) That is simply a creatively bankrupt gimmick.
“What they don’t say when they’re typing is that one minute after they type that their mom’s like, ‘Get upstairs and take out the garbage!'”-a Woman whose shtick is she's a bumbling fat person and raunchy.
Totally unrelated item of an upcoming It Came From the Toy chest!
Really, Basement-dwelling troll insult? That's the best you have? Really!?
What's worse than trying to force Captain America into being gay? Making him a Nazi... Marvel has made it official. Using a guy so far left that makes Bernie Look like a Right Wing nutcase nearly as crazy as the Racist Fabulous looking Animal atop Trump's head... This Moron, who has gotten death threats on Twitter, Nick Spencer is the one Raping Captain America. Seriously, this... Asswipe, doesn't GET Captain America:
CAPTAIN AMERICA IS NOT CAPTAIN HYDRA!! Then again, this turdguzzler made Red Skull into Donald Trump... Making Suck Snyder and Hideo Kojima look like Masters of subtlety. He will feel the Bern... or in this case the Burn, but then again Marvel has been the House of Moronic Ideas... Nope! I'm not letting One Moronic Deal go! I'm not Elsa!
This Dicknozzle doesn't get the rage against him... He took the creation of 2 Jewish guys, made to fight Nazis and turn it into a Nazi... This is spitting on the 75 year legacy of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby.
Mattel has finally given us some info on the She-Ra Doll teased last week: $75 Barbie Doll with She-Ra Clothes Filmation Style, She-Ra Clothes Vintage Toy Style, Adora Clothes, 2 Swords, Shield, Interchangeable hands, a stand and a reprint of her original mini comic. She's probably end up costing me around $90-something... and that's a bit too expensive, if I take into consideration OTHER SDCC Items from Mattycollector (Like Thundercats, which is RUMORED to be the Thunderkittens) More reveals will be dropped during the weekend, but my Focus will be on MOTU or Thundercats, hence no mention of the GB stuff aside Racist GB toy...
The asshats at Gawker are trying to weasel out of paying the massive damages that they were ordered to pay to the Hulkster. Their strategy? A retrial, or to have the damages be drastically reduced. The douche canoes are claiming this:
"Gawker is now beginning the process of challenging the jury's verdict in a trial where key evidence was wrongly withheld and the jury was not properly instructed on the Constitutional standards for newsworthiness, So we expect to be fully vindicated. And even if the verdict were to stand, there is no justification for awarding tens of millions of dollars never seen by victims of death and serious injuries."
First let's go over the statements by Gawker's Most Successful editor (or former, since he had left Gawker in 2013) and the one who published the sex tape AJ Daulerio
Remember that whole Daulerio is OK with publishing child pornography as long as the child is over four years old for the sake of "newsworthiness"thing...
(It's long and hard to look at, but it's supposedly, the raw court footage.)
THAT is why people took it hard on Gawker. Their people are so snarky and dickish to make jokes about child pornography being newsworthy enough to be published made the jury side with the Adulterer, Terry Bollea. The Jury saw fit to Punish Gawker where it hurts the most, money. They agreed that Gawker pretty much killed what was left of Hulk Hogan's career, to the point that WWE gave Hogan the Benoit Treatment. That's why they ARE USING THEIR POWER TO PUNISH Gawker. It's that simple. Gawker, you dun goofed!
In the meantime I'll be celebrating in honor of the Hulkster's victory over Gawker.
Now, I do not think that the Hulkster is a saint, but taking Gawker a few pegs down is worth celebrating, especially if one is a gamer.
Hopefully, Gawker will learn from this... who am I kidding, these douchenozzles are too stubborn to do the right thing.
Hulk Hogan got fired from the WWE because the PC Police found some info about the Hulkster using the N-Word in a conversation...
Hulkamania is now gone from the WWE site, no more Hulkster Merchandise... they're pulling a Benoit on him. But here's the thing: If that is what is erasing the Hulkster from the WWE, then Why haven't they gotten rid of the McMahons?
Vince is using the N-Word... If we believe the PC Police, if you're white, then you CANNOT USE the word EVER!!
Now Hogan is no saint, but isn't it funny how the Media is coming to the defense of Gawker, who is being sued by Hogan... I'm sensing a hashtag... something about GaminG and Richard Nixon... being correct about their slogan.
Hogan did make an apology. It may not be enough, but the WWE's reaction was overblown... I mean, Alberto Del Rio got fired when he beat up a guy who made racist remarks against him. Now Hogan gets fired and "Deleted from WWE History" for some remarks he made (allegedly) 8 years ago? something smells fishy here...
This actually makes sense... The Hulkster getting his first role in Rocky III (pronounced Eye, Eye Eye)... So it seems appropriate having him with the Expendables. To be honest, I'd rather have him being a retired member forced out of retirement, or a "frienemy" of Barney and the Expendables.
Not that I'm against Hulk Hogan playing a villain, but more like I don't want to see him die in the movie... That would be worse than High Noon at Mega Mountain...
But Dude...
The Hulkster being back on the big screen with a bunch of 80s icons?
HELL AND YES!!
If you've seen a few ancient rants of mine, you KNOW I am a Hulkamaniac! Now I've got my very own Hulkster to review... and to celebrate, I'm doing a video review in which I'm wearing a Hulkamania shirt that you won't get to see... I'm just pointing it out because Hulk Hogan review deserves to be done properly... I had a fake mustache, my trusty Hannah wig and a bandana, but the stache made me flub my lines a lot more than normal. it kept falling off... The bandana and wig helped me feel like the Hulkster though. I didn't spray tan myself into a Hulkster shade of Orange because I'd be looking like an Oompa Loompa for a week and many places of employment frown upon looking ridiculous in a professional setting.
Normally I avoid getting WWE Figures, but this is the Hulkster we're speaking of. (It was a bit expensive, but it's 80s Hogan)
So, this is old news that I tried to avoid like the plague, since it involves that Annoying Canadian Brat... Legolas punched Bieber or something. So, pretty much everyone sided with Orlando Bloom here... Gee I wonder why is that. Hell, even the Star Lord himself had something to say about the whole Punching Bieber thing.
"Yeah dude, I'd rather get farted on by David Hasselhoff than punched by Orlando Bloom”
Uh-Oh! Now it's a perfect time to panic MOTUC fans! We're at 71% on the infamous Kowl-o-Meter!!
We have less than 13 days and 29% to go... This worries me big time since Angella was not Officially shown, so she could be left out and that would royally suck! (freaking lizard man, plundor and nepthu)
Also, Mattel did this thing for San Diego Comic Con...
I'm surprised that they actually DID something to promote the subs other than Neitlich telling us to buy the sub!
We need to have that Kowl-o-Meter reaching the late 90s by the 12, otherwise there will be no 2015 line...
Now I have a WWE styled Triple Threat mini rant.
Obviously by the Titantron clip, you might guess that it involves Hulk Hogan...
Well, Looks like Hogan still knows best... No, it's not a new season from the vh1 reality show starring Hogan, but more like the Hulkster meddling in the affairs of his baby girl Brooke and breaking off her engagement to a Dallas Cowboy... Damn! That's almost as crazy as Hulk Hogan trying to get back in the ring... Which he is totally considering. His opponent is a racist cereal mascot... who really sucks and is a third rate Hogan wannabe. If this indeed does happen it's likely to happen at the Grand Daddy of them all, Wrestlemania... Speaking of which, Poor ol' Vinnie Mac is slashing the budget left and right. He's gotten so far on the budget slashing that the Grand Daddy of them all has become a senior citizen event... Less pyrotechnics and now it'll be even earlier (starting at 4:00 PM PST so no fireworks during daylight) It's like they want to finish off Wrestlemania early like a Senior Citizen... Also, they might combine Raw and Smackdown into a single show. It really looks like Vinnie Mac may end up eating Ramen for a while...
That's just wrong! I'm sorry, but mocking the Mentally ill is just too wrong. Here Miley had the opportunity to reply in a mature and GROWN-UP Matter, but instead she went all Brat on Ms. O'Connor.
Dear Miley:
So the annoying Unskippable, Unfast-Fowardable signs like the one above, are BS... That piece of news is not what I'm going to talk about. Instead I'll talk about the ridiculous things people that buy the legal copies have to put up with. The sign above is one of them.
This ad is another one. It's worse when they are back to back and with a THIRD Piracy is bad ad...
It's like "Dammit, dude! I already know!! I bought the freaking movie Legally! Stop bashing my head with the Piracy is bad thing!" It gets worse with official Anime DVDs... Not only they are overpriced, but they don't give you the full set. (You usually buy the first Overpriced part of the set with its fancy box and every few months you need to buy the next piece...) That is messed up! That made me give up on collecting Anime. This problem extends to Western Television. I'm going to mention Hannah Montana. Disney only released Seasons 1 and 4. Now I have an Incomplete Series BECAUSE Disney did NOT Release Seasons 2 and 3. Meanwhile, Pirates have the entire series. How is this Fair for those who own the Legal copies? Other series got limited releases on some volumes, while screwing everyone else who bought the rest of the volumes that had wider distribution, legally.
Sadly, it's things like these that make piracy seem more appealing. Note: I am not saying that it's OK, because it's illegal. I'm saying that the people who buy the movies and series legally are being "punished" with Mandatory reminders of the evils of Piracy, incomplete series, changes in the content (due to problems with Licenses.) and having to pay ridiculous prices for them.
If it wasn't for the internet, I would NOT have gotten into My Little Pony, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Littlest Pet Shop, and other series. I ended up supporting the official releases of these. (Except Haruhi... I started, but got rid of the Series when I figured out the little season 1 collecting. Ended up renting the series from a mom and pop video store...)
Now unto the news article. Hopefully this will end the BS of the Mandatory, unskippable anti-Piracy ads. Sadly it will not help lower the prices, but we can't win them all. If this article ends the Mandatory, unskippable anti-piracy ads, then I'm happy. Seriously, between them and the incredibly long menu animations we lose like five to ten minutes per movie session.
Making the legal copies more appealing could, theoretically, make pirate copies less appealing.
Legal copy doesn't have this... Therefore, less appealing to Bronies. Damn the PC Police!!
