Mar 29, 2014

T.A.I.N.T. Trailer Addendum

I rushed to publish my TMNT Trailer rant. My dislike for this project is rather obvious. Now that I'm older, wiser and calmer, I'll take another look at the Trailer.

Megan Fox: It's obvious that I dislike this lady as an actor and she acts as a turn off to many movies. (It would not have saved me from hating Transformers 1 and 2, because Michael Bay takes care of that.)

William Fitchner: I like good ol' Ken Rosenberg!  That's the only reason I play Vice City! OK, I've seen other things with him in it and he's a Decent Actor... He simply is NOT OROKU SAKI... AKA, The Shredder!!

Jonathan Liebesman: Saw Battle Los Angeles once more, recently... IF I thought McG was a Poor Man's Michael Bay, then Liebesman is ANOTHER Poor Man's Michael Bay, but more Bay-Like than McG.

Michael Bay: Yes, he's the Producer. He just makes sure that the project gets made. That job is not simply throw money at Liebesman to make sure it gets done. Producers and Studio Execs can at times "Intervene" with a project. We know this happens when:

  • Director's Cut versions of movies get a second Release
  • Directed by: Alan Smithee
With that said, the issue with Liebesman/Bay is that their styles are so similar. How much did Liebesman did on his own and how much was influenced by Bay? The world may never know...
Look at the Trailer: It looks very Bay-Movie-esque: The Helicopter, the Military guys, Explosions... Even the Dooooo! Sound that has been used on Tranformers trailer,

The Turtles: We've heard the Shrek Clone comments, The Goomba Comments... But they look like Cabbage Patch Kids after drinking years of Tea brewed from José Canseco's Smelly Socks!

I've been very wary about this project and the Trailer cemented my fears. Now the movie could be great and the Trailer is just very deceptive, BUT that would be highly improbable. I WANT TO BE WRONG about this movie sucking worse than TF 2: I'm directly below the enemy's scrotum...

I simply CAN'T DISTANCE MYSELF FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL... This is why this movie seems like an abomination to me. I WANT TO LIKE IT BECAUSE IT'S TMNT, but I can't...
This movie feels to me as a grim reminder that MOTU may be the lucky one for being stuck in Development Hell.

The House of Rants is closed for the day...

I will not be posting anything today... (Or until April 1st). Will be Busy watching an Applejack Episode... Really? Couldn't we have gotten Maud Pie Today?
Something Something Happy Birthday Highlander/Tarzan/Rayden
Happy Birthday Xena: Warrior Princess

So, The House of Rants is closed today, unless some big rant happens that cannot wait...
For visiting here are a few random videos from the Internet.

I'm going to be busy catching up on some videogaming, one of those might even make it into a review or something.

Mar 27, 2014

It Came from the Toy Chest: SCUBA Diving for Eternia and Primus

Hydron is FINALLY HERE!! The second super important New Adventures Heroic Character has finally arrived to my shelves... (all I need now is Flogg and Skeletor and I'd have the start of a Decent New Adventures Display.)

So, like I said, Hydron is the second super important heroic NA character, because he and Flipshot make the Primus Duo who come and pick-up He-Man. (and She-Ra in MOTUC Canon)
If we get 1-2 More NA Heroes, it'll be a Miracle.
He brought his own fork!

He's considered the lamest New Adventures Hero since he's the SCUBA Guy... I kinda agree, but he's a core character and deserves his spot.

Now that uh, we discussed who is Hydron, I guess we can go to the Ratings part.

His Articulation is Hindered by his Bulky Armor... DAMMIT RUBEN!! His joints are super tight, other than that he's got enough for an Average Male Figure.4.0
He's got to be biting that thing to hold it in.

Chubby Hydron Joke doesn't work because
he needs a second head without the Breathing

 Paint and Sculpt:
There's a LOT of New Tooling on him... Personally, I thought they'd reuse more parts on him. Gladly, he got new SCUBA diver feet with flippers. I feared we'd get the Duck feet... There is one major issue I have with his sculpt and it's on his head... It reminds me of something...  Also, the Tubes from his SCUBA Tank are too high on his face... Aside those two issues, Hydron gets a 5.0 here.

Oh, second head, where art thou!? We needed something else besides the Bane Head. Hydron was already an accessory-light figure. No, his SCUBA GEAR DOES NOT COUNT AS ACCESSORIES... 1.0

 Here, Hydron gets a 3.33 as his final score. He's not that exciting as a character. Design keeps dropping the ball with the vests, but we can't do anything about it. I wish his tank and Weapon had gotten some more paint to make them pop a bit more. The little paint hits they got blend with the main yellow and can't be captured by the camera.

 Obviously, the lack of a second head hurts his score a little bit.

Michael Bay and whoever directed this: I @#% HATE YOU!! (T.A.I.N.T. Trailer)

Yes, the Teenage Alien Invader Ninja Turtles Trailer is here!

The movie is not a Michael Bay Film, but it is... It's almost as if Bay paid whoever's directing to take credit... Seriously Jonathan Liebesman is the new Alan Smithee.

So, unto the Trailer... Blah, blah, Shredderino and April's dad made the Turtles... The Foot don't look like the Foot... The Turtles look uglier than the toys... Megan Fox...
Yup, seems like this one will be a watch at Wal*Mart for free movie... My expectations were already pretty low for this... The Movie trailer made my expectations seem TOO FREAKING HIGH.


It Came from the Toy Chest: Mitch the UNO is here!

Finally after 8 months of suspense and silly Question marked blankets covering other figures as a mysterious Matty game are finally over! The Unnamed one is here!

Due to him being spoiled and me having enough time to mull things over and learn to accept this figure, I'm not going to do a video review... Then again, with the written word my wit is slightly sharper and I stutter less.

So, Mitch the Unnamed One: Real Name Gorpo is finally here. I've ranted a lot about him since 4chan leaked those pics.

I'm going to clear out the air on a few things:

-No matter how much Toyguru can claim that the value for our money is there, it is not.
No amount of spin doctoring can cover the fact that UNO is an overpriced figure.

If you are comparing UNO to the Orko/Adam pack, keep in mind that pack would be 35.00 in 2014 pricing based on rising production and material costs.

UNO is considerably larger than Orko, has much larger accessories, uses clear plastic (more expensive, unique tool run) and has more accessories, a second head is a very expensive excessory due to all the deco - (not to mention a mini comic). 

Value is totally there.

This is what he said on a post on

He's saying that what was a $5.00 Figure would become a $10 Figure (Based on the overpriced Kowl and Loo-Kee pack) Funny since Kowl only bumped up the Weapons pack $2.00...
OK. So Orko + Adam was $25 when figures were $20. We should believe that Orko is 1/5th of the overall price. The $20 figures became $25, or $27 if not a subscriber. Shouldn't that 1/5th cost increase translate to Gorpo being $6 or $6.48 figure?

UNO: Slightly Larger than Orko, More Expensive
than Thunder-Punch He-Man...
UNO is Considerably Larger than Orko...  Cringer is considerably Larger than Orko and he bumped up Marlena's cost $5... Mr. Myzptlk  is considerably smaller than the rest of the DCUC characters yet, Mattel is asking us to pay $30 plus shipping, handling and taxes for him... Shouldn't he be cheaper?

Uno has much larger accessories... A wand larger than Orko's? A Blast? a Stand? vs a Power Sword, a Half Power Sword, a stand and what about Freaking Prince Adam?

UNO uses clear plastic (more expensive, unique tool run) and has more accessories...
So did Orko. Both have a stand. Spirit of Hordak wasn't that more expensive than Clamp Champ. And the Goddess had a buttload of accessories and she cost the same as He-Man. Photog, Cy-Chop, and Roboto (I already mentioned SOH and the Goddess), Nepthu, Geldor all used clear Plastic and they cost the same as a normal figure.

Uno has a second head is a very expensive excessory due to all the deco - (not to mention a mini comic). What about Demo-Man? 3 Heads, costs the same as a Full Size Figure, NA Skeletor has 2 Noggins and costs the same as a normal Figure, so will Sweet Bee.
Not to Mention Thunderpunch He-Man, SMAA, DB Skeletor, King He-Man are all standard figures WITH a Mini-Comic. They all cost the same as a standard figure.

Value is NOT THERE AT ALL. This is MUCH LESS THAN A STANDARD FIGURE... and I'm thinking Zodac and Stratos levels here. If he had come with a second Gorpo using the Orko buck repainted in Gorpo Colors...
Then we'd be closer in value to the $25 figure that Toyguru claims that the Unnamed One has.

-I detest the idea of the Ultimate Evil being the Comedic relief. It's like Snarfer being the cause of Thundera's destruction AND the creation of Mumm-Ra... Or Jar Jar Binks creating the Galactic...Empire... DAMMIT LUCAS!!

Now without Further Ado, let's tackle Emo-Gorpo as a toy and putting aside the bias as much as possible.

UNO: He falls a lot with his blast on!
Here we encounter the first problem with the Unnamed One. His Trollan form is less articulated than a standard figure. This will bring problems in the unbiased Articulation score. Now for a Trollan figure the figure has the standard range of articulation. Wrists, Elbows, Head and Shoulders... 4.0 for a Trollan

Paint and Sculpt:
The sculpt is pretty cool for an Emo-Trollan who raids Hot Topic every time he listens to HIM... He's like 90% new Tooling with the Biceps being reused. 4.0
Larger Base, but shorter than Orko's Stand.

Even Ruben gets a reference in the map... @#$%!
This one is a 5.0 by default since he has a Weapon, energy Blast, Second Head and a Stand. We COULD count the Mini Comic as a Bonus item like Tri-Klops' Warrior Ring... and the Map. I have a few complaints here. How the HELL do I put the Staff in his Right Hand WITHOUT warping it... Putting Evil Lyn's Knife which has a super thin Handle, was a pain in the neck! The Energy blast is cool, but UNO falls down when I put it on! The stand is too short!

In the name of fairness, The Unnamed One gets a 4.33 as his score. My personal bias against him would have given him a 1.0 and yeah, I still can't get over the fact that my first sub exclusive is a slightly larger Trollan. At least Hydron helps me wash some of the bad taste of Gorpo...
I've ranted about this before.

Mar 25, 2014

Marvel must be desperate

To rip-off a story from the 1990s Spider-Man Animated Series.

Yes, that one... the Same series that gave us This:

Also gave us Princess Glimmer/Madame Razz/Shadow Weaver/Teela/Sorceress/Evil Lyn as Aunt May... Not to Mention Blanche Deveraux as Black Cat's Mom. Well the final episodes of this series were about an evil Villain trying to wipe off the Multiverse to destroy all Spideys... So now we have Marvel doing a Multiverse Spidey story with a Villain trying to wipe off all the spideys... Kinda like that movie with Jet Li.

I should CARE about this since Spidey is my favorite Comic Book Character, but at the same time Marvel has made me HATE Marvel with all the crap They've done to Spidey since Quesada got Power at Marvel. I wonder if the Me from 10 years ago would have cared about this. Let me go ask me.

Ten Years Earlier: (Translated via TARDIS)

Oh! I can't wait for this trailer of MGS3 To load! I wish my Internet was faster than Dial up!

Hello, vintage me! I'm you from the Future!

Oh @#$%! I'm fat and I get a tattoo! OK Now I know you're not real!

Oh, I'm real! I come for two reasons: No, I can't give you any lottery numbers. Why? Back to the Future 2 that's why! One: I come to warn you about something: You WILL Hate Marvel and quit Spider-Man!

Yeah, I already quit reading... Thanks to the whole Sins Past Bullcrap...

OK, you'll hate them even More! Remember that Evil that Men Do Storyline? Well, Lazy ass writer Silent Bob turns it into an anti-rape PSA.

OK, I guess. Rape is bad... But If you're me, I wouldn't break the rules of space and time continuum unless there is a huge Earth shattering event that would break the Internet in half and would shake me to the core... But for Marvel it would be


Either you're me or you enjoy Street Fighter the movie too much...

So, You've seen The One... With Jet Li. The one where he kills a bunch of Jet Lis... You know, the one that ends with that Papa Roach song that's on Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2

Ah, yeah!! Don't know its name, but I know which song you're talking about... This has nothing to do with Jet Li... Right?

No, it's a Spidey thing. Take The Final Episodes of Spider-Man the Animated Series and mix it with that Movie...

Um, Which series? The MTV one with Doogie Howser as Spidey or the 90s one with the whole I NEED MORE PLASMA thing?

Damn! My I need more Plasma joke is REALLY OVERUSED... So, a buttload of Spideys fighting to be the definitive Spidey and stopping a killer from destroying the Universe. What do you think of it?

It sounds pretty cool! Mangaverse Spidey vs Ultimate Spidey vs Normal Spidey, vs Spidey 2099...

Symbiote suit vs unlimited suit, vs Amazing Bagman, vs the 616-wrestling costume, vs the Spider-Armor...

Wait what!? But those are all Peter Parker!? Oh, MULTIVERSE... but still, Peter vs Peter vs Peter stinks of Clone saga and Marvel wants us to forget that. 

Ben Reilly's suits seem to be in it and Kaine as the new Scarlet Spider is there too!


Uh, nevermind that... Do you stink think it's cool?

A bit less cool but still cool.

You'd say it needs to be 20% Cooler?


Oh, you'll get it in a few years... In any case I have to go now.

You said you were to give me advice on two things! What's the second one!?

Shoot! My ride is leaving!


He is dead to me... How can he say it's cool since it's another Marvel raping Spidey move for money and trying to have some buzz for when the Amazing Spider-Fail 2 shows up on DVD.

Yeah, Speaking of Spider-Fail... How DARE PAST ME LIKE SOMETHING I HATE!?

Mar 24, 2014

If you Smell What the Herc is cooking! and other movie news

The first pic of The Rockules has surfaced... My jaw dropped. While, yes, I knew this Hercules would beat the crap out of the Kellan Lutz Sparkules, I am pleasantly surprised. A bit freaked out by the whole "Yak beard" but special effects, make-up and stuff... The only iffy thing about this movie is Brett Ratner.

Are you ready True Believers? Avengers 2: Age of Ultron has some pics of Kick-Ass as Quicksilver...The non-Olsen Twins Olsen child as Scarlet Witch and there is a pic of Ultron floating around.

I am OK with the Quicksilver suit... A bit eh, on the Scarlet Witch suit... I honestly have no idea WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ULTRON!! (Looks like a LOT WILL BE ADDED IN POST PRODUCTION)

Sansa Stark thinks Bieber is Joffrey... OK, Sansa Stark doesn't know who Bieber is, but Actress Sophie Turner, who PLAYS Sansa in Game of Thrones called Justin Bieber the Joffrey of our time.
I'm not sure if this is an insult towards Bieber or Towards Joffrey... Then again, they both are unlikable whiny brats who think they're above the law. Lucky for the Westerosi, Joffrey dies in Book 4... Bieber still lives as an unlikable whiny rat who thinks he's above the law. Not saying the Bieber must die... More like: the Bieber needs to stop being an ass! 

Making He-Ro: the Son of He-Man work...

Y'all should already know that I DETEST, LOATHE, DESPISE, HATE and simply do not like the idea of He-Ro: the Son of He-Man. (especially in MOTUC), but instead of going on another tiresome tirade on why that idea sucks ass; I'll try to see HOW TO MAKE IT WORK FOR ME. This is just a bunch of ideas put in a semi coherent manner. I'm not a professional writer, so bear with me.

Instead of starting with Dare the He-Ro II, I'm going to start with Skeleteen.
First: Let's Take Care of Skeleteen's Name: He is NOT Skeleteen. He is ______: The Son of Skeletor, Leader of the SONS OF SKELETOR. The SOS are a cult-like band of Evildoers (some are part of Skeletor's OWN Evil Warriors, others are New villains) this is an obvious sign that Skeletor's forces split after the Fall of Skeletor. I'll take the Neitlichverse's idea that Jitsu became the leader of the evil warriors and he's at war with the Sons of Skeletor.

The War against Jitsu:
Jitsu wants to rule the Dark Hemisphere. The Sons of Skeletor want to follow Skeletor's plan: Conquer Grayskull and Eternia. They are at war with Jitsu, since Jitsu took over Snake Mountain, Skeletor's headquarters.  The SOS want Snake Mountain due to it's strong connection to Skeletor.

Jitsu's Forces:
Jitsu rules Snake Mountain with an Iron Fist. He keeps most of his evil-doing on the Dark Hemisphere, while occasionally venturing to the Light Hemisphere. He wants nothing to do with Eternos and their He-Man King.

The Sons of Skeletor:
As stated before, they are a cult-like band of evildoers who seek to take over Eternia in Skeletor's name and to revive Skeletor. The idea to revive Skeletor was planted in The Son of Skeletor's head by Demo-Man. (Without a Physical Body, Demo-Man cannot walk on this plane of existence.) His role is similar to Gatchaman's Sosai X.

Now let's focus on the side of good.

Adam, King of Eternos: While he is now Locked in "He-Man" Mode, he retook his birthname and rules as Adam, King of Eternia, also known as the He-Man King. His "Son" is Dare, Prince of Etheria and Son of Adora: The Lost Princess of Eternia. I'm taking this cue from the Lou Scheimer pitch for the main reason that if Adam is STILL He-Man, then how can He-Ro get his power. Using the sword of Protection, of course! Adora and Her Husband are MIA, so Dare was raised by Adam as if he was his own son. there IS a Reason why Adam distances from his He-Man past. Politics. His status as KING AND HE-MAN has put all of Eternia a bit wary about the Heroic King. In order to avoid political unrest between the nations of the Light Hemisphere, He-Man's heroic acts have taken a backseat. This also explains why DARE HAS a SECRET ID.

Dare: I hate the idea of Killing Adora, but it's the only way to make Dare as He-Ro work with a He-Man still alive. I know I'm going to be accused of Ripping off DBZ here, but I think that Dare should be ginger and HE-RO II should be blond. No, it's not because of a DBZ reference, but to distance Dare from He-Ro AND to have a nod to his Mother with the blond hair.
Now with that said, I'd also Distance He-Ro II's design from ANY He-Man design for a couple of reasons:
  • Silver NA He-Man look is extremely derivative and unoriginal. 
  • Since I suggested he's using the sword of protection then his design should take SOME cues from She-Ra's look.
  • Canonical reasons: He-Man "retired" and "can't come back" in order to Keep the Fragile Peace after UBII.
Dare should look like a Teenage Boy but He-Ro II should be a grown man Similar to the 200X Adam/He-Man transformation to further distance Dare from He-Ro.

The Heroic Warriors:
Like those warriors from Randor's time, the new Heroic Warriors are a force from the various peoples of the Light Hemisphere. Their Leader is The Mighty Spector. The reason for that is that Spector, like Duncan before him is a Soldier of the Royal Army of Eternos. Sir-Laser-Lot is not fit to be a leader in the future... (Especially 5000 years into the Future) and we know of no other SOH Heroes aside Spector and SLL.

Dare needs a Female character to fill in the Teela Role. The Scheimer pitch included the Kay-La girl who was pretty much a 90s Albino Teela. So far Neitlich has made a Fest du Sausage out of Son of He-Man and the last MOTU iteration that was a Sausagefest was NA and we know how that ended... It's currently the least popular branch...

Now I've avoided touching the Trollan... for obvious reasons.
Let's deal with Gorpo, Shall we?
First things first:
  • GORPO SHOULD NOT BE THE UNNAMED ONE. He SERVES the UNO and acts as his proxy, but he is NOT The UNO. He is simply one of the UNO's loyal servants who does the UNO's bidding. The true UNO can speak THROUGH Gorpo.
  • While Gorpo acts as "High Mage" to the Sons of Skeletor, they seem to obey Demo-Man since he has a strong connection to Skeletor.
  • Gorpo's relationship with Demo-Man should be similar to that of Starscream and Megatron. It's a well known fact that Gorpo wants to take down Demo-Man to rule the SOS and then take Eternia for the UNO.
You know what I realized? It's nearly impossible to make Son of He-Man work... I tried to make it slightly more palatable, but It's STILL A WATERED DOWN COPY OF MOTU. THAT is the problem with Son of He-Man... No matter how hard you try, it'll be unable to step out of He-Man's shadow.

Mar 23, 2014

The Final Battle Part I: The Review.

The UNO hath given a Mini Comic. I reviewed the previous Mini Comics (with the exception of King He-Man's since I don't have that figure)
He-Man vs Skeletor: Their Final Battle (A New Era Begins)
Written by Scott Neitlich
Pencils by Axel Gimenez
Inks by Diana Egea
Colors by Carrie Strachan
Letters by Derron Bennett
Cover by Wellington Alves and Randy Mayor
Senior Art Director: Larry Berry
Editor Michael McCallister

Those are the folks behind this comic... I'll be focusing mostly on the Writing and Art...
Mostly praising the art, but criticizing the Despondos out of the writing... So, There Will be Spoilers... You have been warned.

This is not my first rodeo reviewing MOTUC Comics.
Let's get  a few things out of the way.
I'm NOT a Professional writer. I'm just an A-Hole with a blog who rambles about stuff in a semi-coherent manner and prone to using cutaway gags either by embedding videos or links to other things halfway through a rant. The point I want to reach is that I'm not a great writer... Hell, I would consider me less than good. (not an issue about self esteem, but an issue about knowing that I do not excel at writing fiction... Not even bad fan-fiction that can become a best selling book.) but somebody else is not a great writer either and it shows.

Another thing that shows is his Bias against Princess of Power and New Adventures. in the PoG 3 Parter, Neitlich skips ALL of POP. Here, ALL of NA is skipped. Hydron and the rest of the NA guys are MIA. Flipshot has either an eyepatch or is wearing a knock-off Solid Eye and Flogg is now a Futurama Reference. They're going to kick Horde Prime's Red candy ass all the way to Pluto. She-Ra does a Sword to X and knock's Horde Prime's McGuffin out of his hands. He-Man and Skeletor both jump to grab the McGuffin and vanish, now She-Ra faces Horde Prime Alone... Off Panel cause PoPphobia, of course. So, He-Man and Skeletor land on Trolla right in the middle of a Battle of Losers. The ones from the Create a Character. The ones from the 80s are good but the ones from 2011 are evil. Netta is now Canon... and if a new cartoon is made and Netta shows up, I wish that Jennifer Hale gets to voice her with her PS1 Naomi Hunter Voice. Oh I love it when she says Anti-Freezing Peptide!!
So, we meet the Trollan Defenders and their enemies, the Revenge Squad... whose Lair has a VERY toyetic look... It even has a handle for pony's sake...

The Mysterious Space Suit from Castle Grayskull has become a new Character called Jetpack... Really? Jetpack? Well at least he wasn't named Rocket man
We also see a dude named Man-Crystal... I'm not even going to comment on this... Man-Crystal... That almost sounds like a porno based on the Saga of Crystar.
There's this Big dude named Hans Hammer Holder.
Then there is this golden Robotic Woman called... wait for it...
RoboWoman... I'll not criticize the unimaginative names since half of MOTU has those... Beast Man, Mer Man, He-Man, etc. What I'm going to criticize is how Neitlich answered the question regarding RoboWoman's name... According to the Script (that Neitlich himself wrote if the credits on the comic are to be believed) her name is RoboWoman. There is also a bad guy called Muck Man (according to the script...) but wait a minute, isn't there a Muck Man on the TMNT Line?
So they fight to stop Skeletor and the Revenge Squad from taking over the Temple of Power... (a Hyperstylized Castle Grayskull) Inside the Trollan Grayskull, He-Man and Skeletor become Laser Powered Variants. Skeletor then smacks He-Man in the face and makes the King He-Man scar... (I liked the Fan theory that Blade did it much better than Skeletor gave me a boo-boo) So, He-Man decides to Shinkuu Hadoken Skeletor,who cries for his mommy. that's right: Neitlich turned the Overlord of Evil into a whiny Mama's boy.  Keldor dies but not before redeeming himself... We get a glimpse of the future... Sir-Loser-Lot, a Repaint of NA He-Man, and Spiderpool... In the Spidey upside down pose... Hoo boy!

So, the Epilogue...
3 Cosmic Enforcers (one who looks like Zanthor from Filmation, a second one looks like he's from Sagitar's race and the third looks like the Alien Zodaq) go to Keldor's grave where Despara... wait for it... Goes all Altered Beast on Skeletor. To be Continued in The Fall of Eternia... (Buy the 2015 Sub)

So, what do I think of it? From a writing point:

There I said it. I'm sorry but Scott Neitlich NEEDS to know his limitations. He totally would not get a Comic Book Writing Cutie Mark... It suffers from the Too big for its own good syndrome, reeks of bad fanfiction, ridiculously rushed and Excessive product placement for product that will NOT BE MADE. Who needs Hans Hammer Holder* when we are missing Angella... I've complained about the whole Son of He-Man so, I'll avoid that. Last but not least, the cliffhanger. Final Battle... Final Battle my ass!

*=I'd love a Hans Hammer Holder Figure, I just need Angella a LOT MORE...

I'm trying to put things in a tasteful manner right now. I think it's ABSOLUTE CRAP!  that we get changes to past canons, but instead of exploring that; they get swept under the rug and we have to fill in the gaps with past cartoons. NA doesn't work if there is no Adam, but there is a NA She-Ra and possibly other Eternian Masters on Primus.

Mar 22, 2014

Jon Chu is even MORE Outrageous than I thought...

He really is Outrageous. We saw the whole "Creativity Kickstarter campaign" already...
What we did not know is that production of JEM the movie is going forth WITHOUT any input from a JEM Writer who wrote 23 out of the 65 episodes. I'm talking about Christy Marx, creator of JEM.
I think this is a load of crap. Marx's importance to JEM rivals that of Larry Hama to GI Joe. Not having Marx as an adviser for character development would be disrespectful to the franchise.

I'm already worried that the current JEM team is a Sausage Fest. It seems that Ms. Marx is worried about it too. It's important to have a female voice in a movie that is geared at females... For obvious reasons.

Now since the movie is taking suggestions from fans with the whole #JemtheMovie thing, fans have taken the initiative to add the #WeNeedChristy whenever they hype #JemtheMovie on twitter.
HOPEFULLY Chu and company can realize that having Christy Marx as an adviser is an EXCELLENT IDEA!

Mar 21, 2014

Now THIS is Extreme hide and Seek

I'm a huge fan of Hide and Seek. I loved playing that game as a child, teen and young adult. I can get a bit TOO Competitive... Using Camo and Facepaint, making decoys. Sadly I'm no match against soldiers, much less a Navy SEAL... Which brings me to the point of this rant.

Lone Target (aka Manhunt) from Discovery Channel is basically a show where a Navy SEAL plays Hide and Seek* with various law enforcement and Military Agencies throughout the globe.

*=Training Exercises for Manhunts... in other words Real World Hide and Seek.

It's a shame that Discovery is not showing the episodes anymore... No idea if it was cancelled, but it IS a cool show and better than most of their non-Mythbusters shows... Getting tired of Alaska this, Alaska that, Moonshine, gold diggers (The literal ones, not the skanks who want money) and the other Discovery shows.

It does have a bit of a Man vs Wild appeal, but the Host doesn't do over the top stuff like Bear Grylls for show. What I mean is that it's entertaining and action-packed while having a few survive against the elements theme... with the twist of being chased by the law. Honestly, this is one of the few Discovery Channel shows that make me feel very excited to watch.

Mar 20, 2014

Jon Chu is Truly Outrageous

Remember that Jon Chu dude... the one that directs the Bieber Movies? Uh, GI. Joe Retaliation?
The guy who wussed out of MOTU?
Well, he is apparently directing a movie... with Scooter Braun producing... No, it's not a Bieber Movie... It's... I'll let the video promo speak for itself.

JEM!? Now THAT is Truly Outrageous! JEM is SO 80s!! How can she work in the 21st Century!?

A reference to that was to be expected... Now here's the thing. I'm getting some Nasty Tingles from my Spider-sense... The movie will have a "Creativity Kickstarter" No Money, only your creativity and your input is required. This is a double edged sword and it scares me... Also, the people involved so far don't inspire me that much confidence. This almost feels like: "Hey! We're like Doing a Jem Movie and we like, have no idea what we're doing and it would be totally radical of you to like do our job for us!"

Freaking JEM is getting a movie, meanwhile Mattel is dragging their feet...

Mar 19, 2014

DC is prepping a suckfest bomb on the theaters, but TV seems to be doing better.

I've bitched and moaned about the festering pile of suckitude that is brewing at WB with Man of Steel 2... Waiting for Gadot to bulk up, Batffleck (which I'm kind of OK with it), the Facebook Luthor, etc.

On the TV side we have Arrow and soon we'll get Flash. We've slowly have gotten a bit more nods to the Comics and had plenty of characters and Easter eggs done pretty well, due to the fact that it's a TV series...
Tonight's episode involved the Suicide Squad which had a little nod to one of the Holy DC Trinity...
One of the Squad Members (kept in her cell) was none other than Harley Quinn... (Voiced by the current Harley Quinn VA: Tara Strong). The Episode was pretty good, we got to see Deadshot once more, the intimidating Amanda Waller (Sadly she's based on the NU 52 version.) Now this brings me to my next point.
Arrow and Flash share a Universe and they are two different shows. This lends itself to do what WB is trying to do horribly on the Silver Screen.

What I'm about to suggest may seem crazy: Warner Brothers should forget about making DC Movies and instead do the most Kickass DC Shows they can make AND have them be in continuity with ARROW and the upcoming FLASH...

Think about it: A Batman show can totally work on a TV Budget. Take a more grounded in reality direction, but keep some of the comic bookness... (Less Nolan, more Arkham games)

Superman we KNOW it can work... Didn't we have like 10 seasons of Smallville? So, taking Superman, Bats, WW and whoever they want to have in the Justice League and develop them through the shows on TV, then have everyone team up for the JLA movie in theaters. Sadly the Beancounters would be the ones pulling the plug on this.

Spring is coming and I have to clean the MOTUC

While I could use this as another excuse to post Winter Wrap-Up, I'll refrain myself from doing so. Even if Tomorrow Spring is here! Well, while preparing to receive Spring... a 1-3 Degree Difference here in the Caribbean, but a much greater difference for my pals up North... They have snow... I'd like some snow... but back on topic: Spring is coming and that means Spring Cleaning... yay...
I have a gargantuan task ahead of me... Cleaning up the MOTUC Shelves... My chaotic display is a barbaric battle scene in front of 200X Grayskull... (Working at a Snail's Pace to make a Custom one that would be worthy of MOTUC Scalewise... Cause the Horsemen did a great job on Castle Grayskull, but it feels a bit small for my tastes.)

So, cleaning up the shelves... My shelves attract dust like crazy, but that's not what I'm going to rant about...
This is not even close a complete collection. I've skipped some
figures and I've missed others.
Here's the MOTU Shelf... No NA or POP on this shelf due to space reasons, hence the lack of Horde here since they're POP too! She-Ra is here since I have Adam and Adora on the POP shelf. The steeds and wind Raider are missing for the same reason. The point I'm trying to make is: Holy crap! Look at how much stuff we've gotten... and this is what you can see on the pic.

I started on October 2009 with Teela as my first MOTUC... Here's a Pic I took about 4 years ago.

Look at how barren that shelf looks... I had to pad out the display with 200X Orko. This Evolved into the pic above.

Of course I usually save the POP Gals for another shelf that I recently had to rearrange due to Christmas being over over 2 months ago... (Lazy, lazy) there are a couple of MOTU folks in there, but it's mostly due to the whole He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special Spirit of things.

As much as I complain about Mattel's boneheaded moves (roster selection, canon, design choices, etc.)
The 'Adult Collector' thing allows me to do immature humor
and call it 'Mature' Content
I look at my shelves and see that I have figures that I NEVER HAD AS A KID or as a young Adult.

I've commented about this before, but sometimes an image speaks better than a thousand words.

All the whining, complaining, bitching and moaning comes out of love for the property. My original plan was get a few key characters and get out... Look how well that worked out...
Hell I even got a BLUE STAN LEE...

Spring Cleaning can be one heck of a chore at times, but going over EACH figure with the brush (more intimate and time consuming than using the compressed air) allows me to appreciate each figure more... even those who I don't like that much like Geldor or Plundor.  While I'm going to have a long chore ahead of me, it'll be fun and being able to get reacquainted with some MOTUC figures.

Mar 18, 2014

SDCC is coming... What will Mattel wow us with for this con?

Talking about MOTU obviously. SDCC time is coming and Mattel has something up their sleeves. Fan speculation has pointed towards the Energy Zoids, something I believe and I made my case against them by citing Multibot as a better exclusive. I still stand by that believe but here's a list of things that I'd like to see at SDCC... (not all of them at the same time... of course) that is neither the Zoids nor Multibot:

The MOTUC Barbie and Ken 2 Pack: This is the second year I bring up this idea. I KNOW IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN... Maximizing slots, completing MOTU and POP before 2015 and all that, yadda, yadda. This would work as a great Novelty item (like Mo-Larr) and if used correctly, a way to give us a 200X Sorceress.

Dare vs Skeleteen 2 pack: I hate He-Ro: Son of He-Man with a Passion, but this 2 pack would rid us of the SOH Vermin infecting the sub. These two are the last two missing characters of that era based on the mini comic with Gorpo.

Starburst She-Ra vs Savage Catra 2 pack: Well, it IS PoP's "30th" or 29th depending on who you ask. So, making the True Vintage Toy versions of Catra and She-Ra would be a GREAT LOVE LETTER to POP Fans for sticking with Mattel while they got their 1-3 figures a year. Personally I'd love hinged wrists for Catra and open claw hands on her.

Flying Fists He-Man vs Terror Claws Skeletor: I don't have the Laser variants here since those are Perfect for 2015. Not to mention bringing a second Melty Face head for Keldor. Now I mention FF He-Man and TC Skeletor here so we get the final non-laser variants in a year. They're pretty much New Armor, New Weapons. If Mattel plays it smart they could toss in a few extras for them. Say, a 200X Inspired head for both of them. If they'll save the 200X Heads for the headpack; how about a  Set of Screaming heads for He-Man and Skeletor?

Despara: While I've been focusing on multi-packs, some SDCC items have been Single figures. Despara seems like a perfect choice for a couple of reasons.
A) She is Adora and it's She-Ra's not sure if 29 or 30th Anniversary.
B)She needs a lot of new tooling that needs more money... SDCC items get more money thrown at them than normal figures.
C)Non-Sub Variant... The remaining Beast/Variant slots do not need to be used for her if she's outside the sub.

Laser Variants 2 pack: While I said before that these guys would be perfect for 2015's SDCC, Mattel COULD throw a curve ball and do them instead. (the same way they wasted a perfect sub exclusive and made him the October Figure) We have most of the parts for them. Especially Skeletor who is mostly a repaint of his NA version but with the vintage hood and staff. Most likely not happening since NA Skeletor comes in August and for non-attendees to SDCC would mean that they'd be almost buying the same figure twice. On the other hand... THE MULLET, man!! I need a He-Man with a Mullet!!

These are my top choices that are NOT Zoids or Multibot. There could be others, but these are plausible choices. Most are variants for the reason of saving the "extra slots" for more worthwhile items.

Mar 17, 2014

He-Ro: Son of He-Man: WHY!?

I KNOW I've been drinking a LOT of Haterade when dealing with He-Ro: Son of He-Man
This time I'm not going to rant about the canon. This time I'm ranting about He-Ro: Son of He-Man as a brand.

Why is Mattel Pursuing this, when they can't even get a He-Man reboot off the ground?
It's Simple: What other Mattel owned property for boys is somewhat popular right now?
The Son of Big Jim is your answer... Or as he's more known, Max Steel.
Max Steel is Literally the Son of Big Jim.
Now here's the thing: The whole Max Steel being the Son of Big Jim is a little throwaway nod to the older fans who KNOW ABOUT BIG JIM... Most likely the parents of whoever watches Max Steel (or did watch the previous iteration of Max Steel.)

Big Jim is a bit too old-school for me... I was a Child of MOTU, but was aware of Big Jim.
Now He-Ro: Son of He-Man does not have that luck...
It's own title betrays it... SON OF HE-MAN... Seems like it's relying too much on the old He-Man to stand. The Main character is a ginger version of Space He-Man... The bad guy is pretty much a  Hot Topic Raiding Skeletor. Dare is very likely to invoke upon the Power of Grayskull...

THIS is why I've been a fan of the following idea: If a new generation of warriors has to battle for the fate of Eternia, it better be centuries AFTER the ERA OF ADAM.

Why do I believe in that? It's not that simple, nor that complicated... It's a bit elaborate.

It gives the brand enough space to distance itself from the MOTU Roots but at the same time call upon them if needed. If barbarians are no longer in, then the distancing from the Barbaric Eternia of He-Man's time allows one to have a more civilized hero... (Translation: He has PANTS!!)
That way the nods to the fans of He-Man are just nods like invoking the Power of Grayskull to transform. Maybe a mention about the Legendary Hero: He-Man. That way there is a link to the previous line but not all the baggage that MOTU has. Sadly, Mattel chose poorly here.

By sticking He-Ro too close to He-Man's timeline, they're forcing an additional burden to it. The brand most likely WILL carry a lot of the baggage and stigma that MOTU has... (Mattel caused a LOT of the bad Stigma that MOTU has today when they messed up 200X) and could end up being a failure. You can't have it both ways (distancing it a lot but remaining close enough to MOTU) by having the next Generation in the same "lifetime" of the previous generation. I've ranted about the effects of having He-Man's successor during his lifetime and how it damages MOTU canonically speaking. Well, it also damages He-Ro: Son-of-He-Man since it forces Dare to live under He-Man's Shadow both canonically and as a toy brand.

If you can't get Part 1 of the story off the ground, don't bother trying to get part IV out!

Mar 15, 2014

The Stark Children are growing up and HBO may end Game of Thrones

Winter is coming to Westeros and it may come to HBO since, they're planning to end Game of Thrones at the Seventh Season... It makes sense since the actors playing the Children are growing up. (I focus on the Stark Children since they have main character status) Not only they are growing up but the adults are getting older... Speaking of getting older, the AUTHOR, George R.R. Martin is not a child of spring either. I've mentioned this before, but now we have HBO's deadlines looming over us. If Mr. Martin doesn't hurry up and finish A Song of Ice and Fire, HBO will make up stuff as they go along. One of the better things that Game of Thrones has over other HBO Book Adaptations is that they've remained more faithful to the books than the rest... I'm looking at you Miss Stackhouse.

Now Mr. Martin's solution to the issue is rather peculiar. Hiatus, do a prequel, basically "STALL THE HELL OUT OF THIS SO I CAN SAVE MY ASS" Strategy.
He's had nearly 20 years to finish the series (the first book was Published in 1996) The HBO Series began filming in 2010... 2010-1996=14 so he's had plenty of time to finish. Before anyone mentions the Neil Gaiman post where he says to a reader that George R.R. Martin is not the Reader's bitch, remember that it was Martin who allowed HBO to film the book series. I'm sorry but it's a bit of a dick move to ask the production team to Stall after all this time.

I know writing is hard (finding inspiration, getting the creative juices flowing) but A Storm of Crows and a Dance with Dragons (the latter I have not finished because it feels like a filler episode on an anime.) are a bit of a pain in the neck to read (due to the "Filler book sensation" that they kind of emanate.) and IT feels like I'm dragging my feet almost as much as George R.R. Martin just to read it!
I know that part of it is that I'll have to wait who knows how long until George R.R. Martin decides to finish book six! The other part is that it feels almost like a filler book while he figures out WHERE to go with the story.

There is a lot riding on him to finish the books and I don't envy him. I just want him to hurry it up because I can't wait to read more chapters with Cersei, Sansa and Bran... I hope he doesn't kill any of those characters. Jon Snow is boring me to tears... I get it He KNOWS NOTHING!! I'd be drunk as a skunk if I took a shot every time I read Winter is coming or You Know Nothing, Jon Snow...

Mar 14, 2014

Son of He-Man Era, Yikes!!

The infamous Mini-Comic that comes with Gorpo revealed a ton of stuff... I discussed some of it on my fourth UNO Rant.
Seems that we ARE getting Son of He-Man stuff in MOTUC and the headliner is rather lame...
Vykron bracers on a NA He-Man body with Normal He-Man boots... Toyguru claims that THAT DESIGN was what was originally made for Dare, which was replaced by He-Man and the era became New Adventures. Methinks there's a bit of ♠ going around here and that History is being mildly rewritten. OK, let's accept that Dare's look was what eventually became NA He-Man.
So, we're expected to pay 2015 prices for a Red-haired NA He-Man repaint with the Vintage Power Sword and boots? (yay... another power sword for the pile)

This brand new Era starts with a lousy He-Man Repaint... Not even a new look using the Teenage buck or anything. This makes the already tough to swallow He-Ro: Son of He-Man pill even tougher.
While I'm not too fond of the OTHER He-Ro II Design, that design is a bit LESS derivative of He-Man than NA He-Man in Silver armor with Vykron forearms and He-Man boots.

Here is where Scott Neitlich should have said:
Draego-Man was super appreciated by the fans. Let's leave Dare for the Horsemen to do their own take on the character. and allow a redesign for the character that:

  • Does not look like a He-Man Repaint
  • Does not wear He-Man Hand-me-downs
  • Makes people excited about the H-R:SoH-M Era
Sadly this Dare/He-Ro II does none of that.

On the other side of the coin we have Skeleteen... who looks like a Liefeldian Nightmare. A Cool Dare design would have helped me swallow the Skeleteen disaster.

Not Only Skeleteen is a Son of He-Man villain but he is accompanied by the Older Beastman and Goatman (going by Klacky's bio.) Now we add Gorpo and Demo-Man to the mix... Basically ♠ is now retconning characters to pad the Son of He-Man era. We have Sir-Loser-Lot as the SoH Man-at-Arms, we have the Purple Deadpool Looking Mary Sue that now Rips-off Spider-Man. That doesn't stop there... There is one thing that bugs me from that mini comic... We MAY SEE Some of the Create a Character Finalists as Son of He-Man characters... Netta is now Canon... a Walking Net with a wig is a MOTU Character now... That's horrible news, but at the same time some of the 2011 Create a Character Finalists kick so much butt...

There is one thing I've been avoiding, which in a way is good...
Getting a Despara Figure: Awesome
Her role in MOTUC Canon: LAME!!
Once again, the Bio writing team overcomplicated the story. Despara is now The MOTUC Equivalent of D.Orko... but with She-Ra... Dark She-Ra!!  Which shows the lack of understanding of the She-Ra character.

Her story is a story of Redemption. If she ends up becoming the next Horde Prime, then she failed miserably.
If she is the "Hordak" of the Son of He-Man Era, then she's Dare's evil aunt... (haven't we seen the whole evil Uncle/nephew relationship somewhere? But what if Adora is Dare's Mother? Dun dun dunnnn! *eagle cry*)
Why couldn't we get Despara as Adora when she was with the Horde. Her excuse to appear in the comic, She-Ra is battling her Inner Demon made physical thanks to Horde Prime's power.
But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... Mattel chose to make Adora the New Darth Vader.

Then the unavoidable Reborn Skeletor... who looks a lot like the horrible DC Skeletor from the crossover.
While he MAY or MAY NOT BE son of He-Man, we're seeing Mattel's attempt at "Synergy" by bringing back the BEST and WORST from the DC Comics to MOTU... in the worst possible way. Now Skeletor, Keldor and Demo-Man are 3 Separate Entities. Good, right?
It's basically using a concept character that evolved into Skeletor and making him a Key Player. then with Despara is making a Dark She-Ra out of Force Captain Adora... which reeks of Snake-Man-at-Arms-itis... Guessing she COULD die on the 2015 Sub Exclusive comic.

What bugs me the most of this, which we see in the mini-comic that came with Gorpo, is that NA and POP are swept under the rug in order to promote the Neitlichverse.

That is problematic. It's almost like the self-fulfilling prophecy of "female characters just don't sell"...
Well, we have the "New Adventures characters don't sell" prophecy. So, instead of using NA Characters to aid He-Man in the Final Battle at Trolla, we get the Create a Character losers duking it out. Netta has now more street-cred than Kayo... (Oh God! Now that Netta is canon I fear the R34 art of her) How can Mattel make NA More Appealing when they don't even use the characters!?

Seriously, in order to avoid using NA Characters, Neitlich relied on the finalists of the 80s Create a Character contest... In my eyes saying that NA is lame and obscure while relying on Netta or Eyebeam as far better characters that need the spotlight, stinks of hypocrisy.

Back to the main topic:The Son of He-Man Era... The Main two have a huge issue and it's their too derivative designs. There doesn't seem to be any "new characters" since a recurring theme in the Son of He-Man era is stealing characters from other parts of the mythos and call them SoHM dudes.

Problem is that Son of He-Man WILL Bleed into Classics and the slots for Dare and Skeleteen (who I'm almost certain that they ARE coming) are going to push away characters that deserve those slots even more.

Some people may say:
Wait a minute Nefty, but didn't Toyguru said that 2014 and 2015 were the A-list character years and that we'd complete MOTU and POP while getting key characters from the other eras?
Yes, he indeed say something like that. Now that we have Gorpo coming our way, we Kinda Need Dare, since Dare is the Gorposlayer... Now that we have Dare, we kinda need Skeleteen and then the slippery slope fallacy takes over. All jokes aside: think about it. The pic of the mini comic shows SLL, King He-Man, Spider-Spector and Dare. On the other side we have Demo-Man, Gorpo and Skeleteen. By shoving other characters into the era, Neitlich has made people KINDA want them...

Since Dare and Skeleteen are so important now, Mattel can totally push Kayo and Nocturna aside
 in order to have the NA He-Man repaint and Grunge Skeletor as toys.

I personally don't want Son of He-Man stuff in MOTUC... but I'm sure they're coming... I just wish Dare looked less like a lazy custom of NA He-Man and was more his own character. Also, that Skeleteen gets to show up with a Horny Skeletor head so Mattel won't waste a slot on him.

Mar 13, 2014

Fourth Mitch The Unnamed One Rant!! (Until he comes out of the Toy Chest)

People have begun to receive their Unnamed Ones. His second head has been revealed. That head looks a bit like a Final Fantasy Iron Giant or an armored Gimp Mask that looks ridiculous on the cute widdle Trollan Body.

This describes UNO Perfectly... But, you're not here for the TL;DR Version! Let me do a
transcript of the Bio before I start whining and complaining about it...

The Unnamed One: Evil Lord of Chaos
Real Name: Gorpo

Formerly an Overlord of the Timeless Dimension, this great wizard betrayed his brethren when he attempted to steal the Power of the Universe for himself. The Aura of the gods was infused to the Sword of He for protection and Gorpo was stripped of his form and banished to the Nameless Dimension. Here he became known as the Unnamed One, spoken of only in whispers and myth. During his exile, he discovered a method of combining DNA of several reptilian species. He used this knowledge to create an army of cold-blooded warriors which he commanded to raid magical planets in an attempt to consolidate his power for his revenge. His evil schemes were at last undone after Dare, the New He-Ro, confronted him in single combat, slaying the ancient mage with the very power he once attempted to steal.

Gorpo is the Ultimate Evil? Gee how Original! The Stench of Green Lantern Lore is strong in this one. 
so, basically Gorpo is Krona... Eh, I kinda liked Mitch better...
Not only that but he did something in Preternia time and gets Killed in the Son of He-Man era... Confirming my fear that we WILL See Son of He-Man stuff in the line... So THAT's why they needed to push POP to a mini sub... All that's left is that the Mini comic (which has remained unspoiled as I'm writing this) does the Crappy Keldor's Redemption thing. I'm still against it ever since I made a passing note about it on the Demo-Man review. This stinks of Star Wars so badly that I can smell Anakin's Musafarian Barbecued legs! Also I can almost hear the Ewoks singing Yub Nub
All we need is She-Ra going to the Dark Side and becoming a Sith-like character... Dark-Ra or something.

Now that he's been revealed, I still feel he's a rip-off at $25! With that said:

  • I don't know what is it about him that is a "Love Letter to the fans." If this is a Love Letter, then I fear what Hate Mail might look like... (SKELETEEN!!)
  • I like the design (even the Metal Gimp second head) but I don't like what the character is.
  • Is Shia LaBeouf a ghostwriter in the Bio Team?
  • Mattel Overhyped and Underdelivered with him.
The worst part of this is that this is NOT a Horrible Fanfic written by a teenage Fan... This is OFFICIAL MATTEL CANON...

The comic was spoiled partially. Pics can be seen, but I can't read the text.
  • Other entries from BOTH Create a Character contests show up.
  • Keldor's Redemption is Real
  • Despara is Darth She-Ra... (I can guess this, but not the Lottery Numbers, the story of my life)
  • Dare is a Brunette NA He-Man wearing the full armor in silver, Vykron's forearms and He-Man boots. (Talk about Uninspired Design... A Smidge better than the Filmation Proposal)
  • Skeletor is Revived in a DCvsMOTU inspired Look.
  • There are many Cosmic Enforcers. One seems to be a Lizardman-like creature, the other seems to be from Sagitar's race and the third one seems to be Zanthor (from the Filmation Episode: Golden Discs of Knowledge.)
The Comic may have some potential... though I may do some switching around with my headcanon. Despara is Horde Adora.
Gorpo is an Ancient Trollan who went mad with power and SERVES the Unnamed One. Like Silver Surfer to Galactus.
Keldor dies being a massive A-hole.

Superhero games... Yay or Nay?

I'm not the gamer I used to be in my teenage years. Beating a certain PS1 JRPG on a weekend  with 3 hours of sleep from Saturday to Sunday (and breaks for food, shower and toilet use...) Sneaking one to three hours on weekdays to play Street Fighter II... Or spending afternoons at the mall playing arcade games.That's all in the past. I'm older now and He-Man is mostly in charge of the "miscellaneous budget". I got to play the first two Arkham games. No, I'll not review them. They're awesome... and they got me thinking...

Not all Superheroes can work properly in games.
I mean, we've had cool superhero games like the Arkham series for Batman or Spider-Man 2 for Spider-Man, but we've never had a good Superman game...
There have been some decent games for our Spandex clad Heroic Champions of Justice... Others are... well,

Which brings my main point: Not All Superheroes CAN be adapted properly to videogames.
Vigilante styled Heroes like DC's Batman or Marvel's Spider-Man have proven that they are versatile enough to show up in different genres. With the 3D Open World Styled games, we've seen these two flourish. (While the Arkham Series is more of a 3D Metroidvania styled game series, Arkham City is a bit of an Open World Game than its predecesor.)

I'd guess that a Metroidvania/Open World Hybrid Game could work well for Green Arrow or Daredevil.

On the other side of the coin we have guys like Superman or Thor, who seem a bit harder to Translate into games. Superman is extra Difficult since he's virtually invulnerable. Health bars would be almost insulting. An Open World game would NOT work for Superman since we'd need the ENTIRE World just to get a glimpse of what being Superman would be like. We'd also need to up the stakes because Random Criminals SHOULD BE NO MATCH FOR SUPERMAN... We can't have every Tom and Dick running around with Kryptonite Ammo. We'd need something bigger than Luthor in order to make a Decent Superman game. That would bring us back to the older concept of "stages" where we have Supes doing his heroic deeds and stopping whatever evil is afflicting Metropolis and everywhere else the games takes you to.

The issue is that if the Developers do not care enough to make a great game and the Bean Counters do not invest enough capital to allow the Developers to make a great game, we get crap! Especially when dealing with an already hard to make a game out of character like Superman.

Same thing would happen with Thor, though keeping him mostly in Asgard solves a LOT of the problems... Or having Cosmic Level threats on Midgar that don't make Thor feel like he's running around with a Game Genie.

Now we could take the easy route and make a Side Scrolling Brawler and call it a day.

While the game may be likely to be fun, it won't allow you to feel the character... There have been some decent attempts to make games fit the character like Spider-Man 2, the Arkham Series. Other attempts might have had some good ideas but something else screwed up the execution a little bit... Like Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, then we have the crappy games (anything with Superman in the title)

Until we don't reach the Gaming level of Holodecks and controlling the game with our thoughts, Super hero games would be limited... Thinking of Green Lantern here... Beating bad guys with a (Insert ridiculous thing to use as a construct here) would be awesome. Hell even the TMNT are stuck on Beat-em ups.

The problem I'm seeing with man of these games is that they try to shove the characters into the genre instead of making a game that feels more in tune with the characters. We need Superhero games, but we need GOOD superhero games even more. While there is a lot of crap, it's awesome to find the gems!!

Mar 11, 2014

The Flash Costume was Revealed...

And it is GLORIOUS...
OK, it's not as awesome as the 1990s Flash Series, but it's decent for a Nu-52/Nolanverse inspired thing...
Oh yeah! I went there!

So, what do I think of the CW's Flash suit? (Aside that it's Glorious) well...

It Looks like The Flash's Costume and not something he scrounged up from Goodwill. *cough couch* Smallville costumes *cough cough*

The grimdark Maroon. I know this is a nitpick but look at John Wesley Shipp's Flash Costume. Aside the Muscle shading on the suit itself, it looks like the Flash's suit, bright colors and all! I understand Batman and Green Arrow getting a muted palette, but folks like Flash, Superman or Wonder Woman NEED their Flashy colors...

The loss of the Wings on the Suit.
Before People bitch and moan about me bitching and moaning about such a "silly thing"; hear me out.
The Lightning Bolt may be the Insignia on his chest but the WINGS are the REAL Symbol of Flash's Super Speed...

Who wore a winged hat and winged footwear?
I'll give you a hint: Greek God.
Give up? It's Hermes, The Messenger!
Those "Silly-ass wings" are the things that make most sense in a Speedster's suit. The Golden Wings at his ankles and head are BLATANT symbols of Hermes. The Lightning on him is a more confusing symbol since Flash doesn't shoot Lightning. He's AS FAST AS Lightning.

Sure it seems that there are more cons than pros, but my cons are more nitpick-like than True Complaints. I can tolerate the Maroon, but I am disappointed in the lack of wings. In any case
I'm super excited about this, especially since Dawson's dad will be on the new series... Perhaps Jay Garrick?

Club Etheria did not Reach the 100% needed... but it's still happening.

It "allegedly reached" a 97% according to the Neitlich.
You have the power She-Ra fans! Or is that the honor?! Either way, we just hit our mark for the 2014 Princess of Power Club Etheria sub with 97% of the minimum we needed. While not exactly 100%, that is so darn close and we don’t want to be a Twigget in the mud over a few points so the sub is definitely going through!

We will, however, be adjusting production and it is likely the quotas for any potential day-of stock for the Club Etheria figures will be EXTREMELY low. But the good news is if you are a sub holder, not only are you getting six amazing POP figures and the incredible Light Hope figure, but big picture we have taken another HUGE step in completing the vintage road map! The POP sub secures the 2014 POP figures and leaves us free to now add new and additional POP figures to 2015, and assuming we sell-in the 2015 sub, we will indeed finish off both the vintage MOTU and POP lines in Classics – as well as some other A-list figs from media and other sources!

So way to go She-Ra fans! We couldn’t be more excited and are ready to gear up now to sell-in the 2015 sub and truly make toy history! A huge sincere thanks to all the POP fans who went above and beyond to help promote Club Etheria, run match campaigns, run banner ads, and help keep the heat on – we couldn’t have done it without you. We made it to another huge milestone and the best is yet to come.

For the Honor of Grayskull!!!

Scott N.
3 Percent off the actual Goal for Club Etheria. We had no "Sneak peeks"aside the Sweet Bee Helmet when the sub was announced. We didn't get an email with an Accessory from one of the remaining 2 slots unlike the Filmation sub. I smell some humongous amounts of... See the Sonic Pic.
I remember that the Filmation sub did worse than Mattel expected last year, but recently we heard that it did great... Which one is the truth and which one is (See Sonic Pic)

I know what some may be thinking:
Gee, Nefty, why are you bitching about POP when the sub went through? You should be happy you're getting Madame Razz, Double Trouble, Entrapta, Sweet Bee, Light Hope and whoever hasn't been announced yet.

I'm happy about that, but there's a part of me that feels that we're being fed some Grade A (See Sonic Pic)!!

Methinks that the sub made it, barely... perhaps it hit the exact 100% or got 101% percent of the subs needed. Why not mention this? Simple:
Vintage Purists need to feel "superior". The sub not quite making it still gives them Ammo... They can still rub POP fans faces with the infamous 97%

Mattel may have heard the rumblings of POP Fans who would not subscribe for 2015 if the Club Etheria sub did not make it... Heck Even the poll made on showed that nearly half of the POP subscribers that answered the poll would bail on 2015.

At the same time, that "97%" is not something to dismiss so easily. 

Tinfoil hats off, Please!

In any case it's a good thing that this sub went through. I get Madam Razz and a sizable chunk of POP and we could actually fill in the POP AND Original MOTU Rosters by the end of 2015!! So, it seems that we only have one more Sub rush to deal with... (or 2 if they make a New Adventures Mini Sub)

Mar 10, 2014

The final hours of the POP Sub... Neitlich set us up the bomb

Well, this weekend Neitlich gave a "State of the Union Message" regarding the POP Sub on the Matty Forums. Here's a transcript of what he said in case the post vanishes.


We're literally in the home stretch here! We entered the weekend at about 78% which is a really good thing as we tend to get 20% of our sales in the last 48 hours! We were powerful out of the gate but the sub quickly sunk well below Club Filmation levels. But it looks like all the efforts the POP fans have been making are really paying off. We can't thank you POP fans enough for the great banner ads, Sub match campaigns and helping get the word out.

A few questions have popped up on the boards and I wanted to repeat the info here in one place:

1: subs can be combined as long as you use the same credit card, address and shipping method. If you want to change these use the my sub portal. To change your monthly vs. quarterly option you will need to call CS.

2: The POP sub will have all females (except Light Hope and I guess Broom!). It will be a mix of all things POP which means you could see vintage toys, other media (ie Filmation, mini comic, etc...) variants, or prototype figs. But all will be "POP related" in some major way.

3: to squash a rumor, Mermista is not in the sub.

4: there will still be POP in Q4 of the main sub and at least 3 spots planned for 2015 should the sub hit. If it does not, the first three POP sub figs will become the POP slots in 2015. So we so need to get the POP sub to finish all vintage POP and major media POP (ie Razz) by 2015. - but as I said above, we are close!

With all this said, lets make POP 30th happen and than go on for a strong 2015 sub. Toy History is a year away, we can do this!
He's praising POP Fans (which doesn't happen very often.) and he believes we will make it. I hope so too.

Here's some music to accompany this POP Sub Final Day!

Point 1 is standard Sub Combining info that has to be reminded because Mattycollector/Digital River CAN BE a bit confusing.

The following Points are where  Toyguru set us up the Bomb!
OK, Light Hope (and Broom) being the only males from the sub is not a big surprise. Variants, Prototypes, characters from other Media (Mini Comics, Filmation, etc.) is where he dropped a big one.

What does this mean? Well this means that:
  • We COULD Be Getting a Filmation Character. (ie Granita, Hunga or Huntara)
  • Variants? What? a Toy Variant of Catra seems likely if Sweet Bee is coming.
  • Despara is possible. Other Media, CHECK! Variant: CHECK! POP Related: CHECK! 
  • Prototype? Well, the only Protoypes we had were the Star Sisters and we got those. Could it be the Concept She-Ra? It could also be the Neitlichverse's own NA She-Ra.
This part worries me a little bit, if I'm honest. Core A-List Roadmap doesn't have space for Prototypes and Concepts. Getting all the POP Characters with toys in the 80s (minus variants) Before the end of 2015 doesn't benefit with Concepts, Prototypes, etc. added on.

Speaking of which... Mermista eez not on zee sub! 
She might be another victim of the Kidnapping for 2015. This is scary... Now WHO could fill in that $30 slot... heheh I said slot... All (lame) jokes aside, we don't have that many characters that would fill that slot.
I don't believe it's Angella. If we're getting Flutterina and Sweet Bee as standard figures, we got Draego, Mantenna, and Dactus as normal figures, then I don't see why Angella would be more expensive to make. While Peekable may have many paint hits if the feathers are made Vintage Toy-Like, I don't think it'll be her. Personally I lean more towards Spinnerella.
All those Tassels that may need details and one important thing: 
photo from

Her Spinning Stand. She only has the overused POP Shield, Comb could be axed after the Failure that was the Combwhip. If the stand is made and allows her to spin, then we can see a reason for the increase in her price.

Some have mentioned Granita for the $30 item.
While I KINDA want her, I'm NOT DYING to get her. Couple of reasons for that: She's neither a Vintage POP Toy nor a core Filmation POP character.
There is some speculation about Hunga the Harpy... I could totally live without a Hunga in my collection... and while she needs a buttload of new tooling, I just don't see her as a $30 item.

The Following point IS a Shocker... There WILL BE A POP Item in Q4 of 2014...  (Huntara could be one of the items since she won the poll on 2013) We KNOW the items all the way to October (Eldor) We now know that:
  • A Snakeman is supposedly coming in 2014 and the other in 2015
  • A Movie Figure would show up in 2014 leaving the last one to 2015
  • We're getting a POP item in the fourth Quarter of 2014.
We are missing: November's Item, the Q4 Large Scale Item ($38) December's Item and the Holiday Item ($35) That's 4 slots right there. 

I wonder if the $38 item is Clawdeen, it fits the POP item slot in the main sub. It's a cheaper to produce item since we're getting Battle Lion (who costs $38) AND it also give the Horde A Steed.

Mar 8, 2014

Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game

Sorry for the seemingly confusing title, but you can't always get The Best of Both Worlds when trying to describe a title of a movie based game with "The Movie" in its title. Y'all know that I'm a hardcore Hannah Montana fan... So this game called to me. Mostly because it's from the Pre-not-really-a-Meltdown-but-a-lame-ass-stunt-to-show-I've-grown-up Miley era... Hell I bought one of the Disney Sing it! Games Because it had Miley/Hannah in it (not to mention a little Billy Ray Cyrus and Ashley Tisdale singing Fabulous!) So, back to HM:TM:TG as you may have guessed it's a licensed game based on a movie property. We know the stigma that these games often get. The word Shovelware gets tossed around a lot. We've seen some gems like Spider-Man 2 that make licensed games look good, but we've had crap games like Batman and Robin that push the envelope down on movie games.

Let's take a look at Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game, shall we?

So, the premise of Hannah Montana is pretty much a Disnified Version of Jem and the Holograms, minus the Holograms and anything related to the Hasbro property. The game is LOOSELY inspired by the movie of the same name... Because Videogame. So, before going any further I shall begin to rate this: In videogames I use a 1-10 Scale where 1 is bad and 10 is good.

Well, it's a loosely inspired take on the movie with additional side-quests thrown in for the videogame factor.

This is a PS3 Title, but it just doesn't look like one. Graphically speaking, this game could have shown up on PS2 and it would have looked virtually the same... wait, let me see which consoles had the game... PS3, XB360. Wii... Aha! There's our culprit! The game was made for Wii as well... So, that explains the graphics

Sounds and Music:
Well, the Music IS mostly on the Hannah Side of the Equation and it's Hannah Songs. If you're into Hannah Montana, then the music is good. Voice Acting on the other hand... It's decent, BUT there is one TINY problem with it... The game LACKS THE FOLLOWING VOICES:
Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jason Earles and Emily Osment. A Hannah Montana game WITHOUT MILEY CYRUS PLAYING MILEY/HANNAH is a travesty!
5.0 (Because of the Music.)

As Hannah, you do concerts where you sing, dance and interact with the band.
As Miley you walk around Crowley Corners doing fetch quests, talking to people and playing some mini-games like riding your horse Blue Jeans.

This is going to sound sexist, but many of the current games made for girls are basically what keeps females from gaming.
Look at this old School game for girls:

Compare it to Hannah Montana and you'll see what I mean.


I'm playing the PS3 version of the game. You rely on the analog stick to move Miley S...L...O...W...L...Y... across Crowley Corners. Except the Blue Jeans mini game where you use the SIXAXIS to awkwardly maneuver the Horse around the farm
As Hannah, you rely on the analog sticks, the X Button and the SIXAXIS Controller to do your Stage Routine... VERY AWKWARDLY. Some of Hannah's segments are similar to what we've seen on games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band on the easiest setting, but they're done with the standard controller instead of the special Instrument controller.

Fun Factor:
Zip, Zilch, Nada, the big goose egg! This game is NOT FUN AT ALL and this comes from a Hannah Montana fan. The only good thing is that it helps you pad your trophies if you play online and all that.
1.0 (since the minimum is 1)

Hannah Montana gets a pathetic 2.33 which, to be honest is me being a bit generous. It's obvious that its awkward controls come in part from the gimmicky "Motion sensing" gaming that popularized the Wii, but doesn't work well with other consoles with standard controllers (like I mentioned in the old TMNT Smash-up Review) This game makes other shovelware games feel ashamed of being compared to Hannah Montana:The Movie:The Game. Best part is playing it on another's PS3 so they get achievements on this game... If you can find this game, it's the perfect Troll gift you can give someone. Man vs Wild would be the second best troll gift one can get... nudge nudge wink wink!!