Mar 25, 2014

Marvel must be desperate

To rip-off a story from the 1990s Spider-Man Animated Series.

Yes, that one... the Same series that gave us This:

Also gave us Princess Glimmer/Madame Razz/Shadow Weaver/Teela/Sorceress/Evil Lyn as Aunt May... Not to Mention Blanche Deveraux as Black Cat's Mom. Well the final episodes of this series were about an evil Villain trying to wipe off the Multiverse to destroy all Spideys... So now we have Marvel doing a Multiverse Spidey story with a Villain trying to wipe off all the spideys... Kinda like that movie with Jet Li.

I should CARE about this since Spidey is my favorite Comic Book Character, but at the same time Marvel has made me HATE Marvel with all the crap They've done to Spidey since Quesada got Power at Marvel. I wonder if the Me from 10 years ago would have cared about this. Let me go ask me.

Ten Years Earlier: (Translated via TARDIS)

Oh! I can't wait for this trailer of MGS3 To load! I wish my Internet was faster than Dial up!

Hello, vintage me! I'm you from the Future!

Oh @#$%! I'm fat and I get a tattoo! OK Now I know you're not real!

Oh, I'm real! I come for two reasons: No, I can't give you any lottery numbers. Why? Back to the Future 2 that's why! One: I come to warn you about something: You WILL Hate Marvel and quit Spider-Man!

Yeah, I already quit reading... Thanks to the whole Sins Past Bullcrap...

OK, you'll hate them even More! Remember that Evil that Men Do Storyline? Well, Lazy ass writer Silent Bob turns it into an anti-rape PSA.

OK, I guess. Rape is bad... But If you're me, I wouldn't break the rules of space and time continuum unless there is a huge Earth shattering event that would break the Internet in half and would shake me to the core... But for Marvel it would be


Either you're me or you enjoy Street Fighter the movie too much...

So, You've seen The One... With Jet Li. The one where he kills a bunch of Jet Lis... You know, the one that ends with that Papa Roach song that's on Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2

Ah, yeah!! Don't know its name, but I know which song you're talking about... This has nothing to do with Jet Li... Right?

No, it's a Spidey thing. Take The Final Episodes of Spider-Man the Animated Series and mix it with that Movie...

Um, Which series? The MTV one with Doogie Howser as Spidey or the 90s one with the whole I NEED MORE PLASMA thing?

Damn! My I need more Plasma joke is REALLY OVERUSED... So, a buttload of Spideys fighting to be the definitive Spidey and stopping a killer from destroying the Universe. What do you think of it?

It sounds pretty cool! Mangaverse Spidey vs Ultimate Spidey vs Normal Spidey, vs Spidey 2099...

Symbiote suit vs unlimited suit, vs Amazing Bagman, vs the 616-wrestling costume, vs the Spider-Armor...

Wait what!? But those are all Peter Parker!? Oh, MULTIVERSE... but still, Peter vs Peter vs Peter stinks of Clone saga and Marvel wants us to forget that. 

Ben Reilly's suits seem to be in it and Kaine as the new Scarlet Spider is there too!


Uh, nevermind that... Do you stink think it's cool?

A bit less cool but still cool.

You'd say it needs to be 20% Cooler?


Oh, you'll get it in a few years... In any case I have to go now.

You said you were to give me advice on two things! What's the second one!?

Shoot! My ride is leaving!


He is dead to me... How can he say it's cool since it's another Marvel raping Spidey move for money and trying to have some buzz for when the Amazing Spider-Fail 2 shows up on DVD.

Yeah, Speaking of Spider-Fail... How DARE PAST ME LIKE SOMETHING I HATE!?

No comments:

Post a Comment