Mar 13, 2014

Fourth Mitch The Unnamed One Rant!! (Until he comes out of the Toy Chest)

People have begun to receive their Unnamed Ones. His second head has been revealed. That head looks a bit like a Final Fantasy Iron Giant or an armored Gimp Mask that looks ridiculous on the cute widdle Trollan Body.

This describes UNO Perfectly... But, you're not here for the TL;DR Version! Let me do a
transcript of the Bio before I start whining and complaining about it...

The Unnamed One: Evil Lord of Chaos
Real Name: Gorpo

Formerly an Overlord of the Timeless Dimension, this great wizard betrayed his brethren when he attempted to steal the Power of the Universe for himself. The Aura of the gods was infused to the Sword of He for protection and Gorpo was stripped of his form and banished to the Nameless Dimension. Here he became known as the Unnamed One, spoken of only in whispers and myth. During his exile, he discovered a method of combining DNA of several reptilian species. He used this knowledge to create an army of cold-blooded warriors which he commanded to raid magical planets in an attempt to consolidate his power for his revenge. His evil schemes were at last undone after Dare, the New He-Ro, confronted him in single combat, slaying the ancient mage with the very power he once attempted to steal.

Gorpo is the Ultimate Evil? Gee how Original! The Stench of Green Lantern Lore is strong in this one. 
so, basically Gorpo is Krona... Eh, I kinda liked Mitch better...
Not only that but he did something in Preternia time and gets Killed in the Son of He-Man era... Confirming my fear that we WILL See Son of He-Man stuff in the line... So THAT's why they needed to push POP to a mini sub... All that's left is that the Mini comic (which has remained unspoiled as I'm writing this) does the Crappy Keldor's Redemption thing. I'm still against it ever since I made a passing note about it on the Demo-Man review. This stinks of Star Wars so badly that I can smell Anakin's Musafarian Barbecued legs! Also I can almost hear the Ewoks singing Yub Nub
All we need is She-Ra going to the Dark Side and becoming a Sith-like character... Dark-Ra or something.

Now that he's been revealed, I still feel he's a rip-off at $25! With that said:

  • I don't know what is it about him that is a "Love Letter to the fans." If this is a Love Letter, then I fear what Hate Mail might look like... (SKELETEEN!!)
  • I like the design (even the Metal Gimp second head) but I don't like what the character is.
  • Is Shia LaBeouf a ghostwriter in the Bio Team?
  • Mattel Overhyped and Underdelivered with him.
The worst part of this is that this is NOT a Horrible Fanfic written by a teenage Fan... This is OFFICIAL MATTEL CANON...

The comic was spoiled partially. Pics can be seen, but I can't read the text.
  • Other entries from BOTH Create a Character contests show up.
  • Keldor's Redemption is Real
  • Despara is Darth She-Ra... (I can guess this, but not the Lottery Numbers, the story of my life)
  • Dare is a Brunette NA He-Man wearing the full armor in silver, Vykron's forearms and He-Man boots. (Talk about Uninspired Design... A Smidge better than the Filmation Proposal)
  • Skeletor is Revived in a DCvsMOTU inspired Look.
  • There are many Cosmic Enforcers. One seems to be a Lizardman-like creature, the other seems to be from Sagitar's race and the third one seems to be Zanthor (from the Filmation Episode: Golden Discs of Knowledge.)
The Comic may have some potential... though I may do some switching around with my headcanon. Despara is Horde Adora.
Gorpo is an Ancient Trollan who went mad with power and SERVES the Unnamed One. Like Silver Surfer to Galactus.
Keldor dies being a massive A-hole.

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