Top 10 Lines Playmates can do TMNT crossovers with

 I've mocked the laziness of Playmates toys and TMNT for a while. The latest was the TMNT vs SF2 line. So, now I'm going to do a list of 10 lines that Playmates could do a crossover with TMNT and release once again the same four tires turtle bucks.

10: Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills

Since Playmates needs a team of 4 to battle their Team of 4, this Power Rangers knock-off is perfect. And let's face it, the reason these sets would actually sell is for the WTF factor and that these are the only official TTAFBH toys.

9: Star Trek

We've had Star Trek Turtles before, but here we'd have the TURTLES MEET Star Trek characters. This also lends itself for a TNG set as well. 2 for one with lines that Playmates has both licenses.

8: The A-Team

Again, 4 characters (Hannibal, Face, BA, and Murdock) facing the Turtles. I'm not going to lie and pretend that it's not about getting a 6 inch A-Team, but it's about getting a 6-inch A-Team.

7: Ghostbusters 

The precedent is the IDW comics, but the only problems would be Hasbro having the GB license and doing 6-inch scale toys.

6: Surf Ninjas

 No, I'm  not doing this to get a 6-inch scaled Ernie Reyes Jr. that could be used as Keno in the Super7 TMNT line, or for a 6-inch scaled GameGear since Figma already has one... I'm  doing this for a Cybernetic Leslie Nielsen as General Chi. But for the 4th slot they can go with either Rob Schneider or Ernie Reyes Sr.

5: Mortal Kombat (Klassic Kontinuity)

I'm talking 2D era of MK. I might suggest:

Scorpion, Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, and Jax as the Kombatants for the sake of mirroring each Turtle:

Scorpion's counterpart is Raph.

Jax's counterpart is Don.

Liu Kang's counterpart is Leonardo.

Johnny Cage's counterpart is Michelangelo.

If successful enough for a wave 2 Raiden and Splinter are obvious matches... as well as Shredder and Shao Kahn.

4: American Gladiators

Basically the TMNT are competing in American Gladiators and instead of their normal TMNT arsenal, they get equipment to compete in American Gladiators.

3: 3 Ninjas

Admit it... you were waiting for me to drop this, back when I mentioned Surf Ninjas. You probably were all "Surf Ninjas!? Nefty, you idiot! You should've chosen 3 Ninjas! The movie advertises itself as a cross between TMNT and Home Alone, this is right up your alley!"

As for the 4 characters: the 3 ninjas and Grandpa would be the line.

2: Final Fight

Since they have worked with Capcom for the 35th SF anniversary and Final Fight was originally a Street Fighter game, so Cody, Haggar, Guy, and Maki.

1: Mighty Mutanimals 

Some Mutanimals have been part of TMNT lore throughout the ages. These Mutanimals should be based on the IDW version of the team... (so should be the Turtles) Hob, Herman, Sally, and Ray would make the cut.

This list was a lot tougher than I thought, mostly trying to get things that wouldn't have issues with rights holders was a pain. The other was choosing opposition that would be round up or down to 4 without ruining the teams.

Who let Haley Joel Osment play GTA: Vice City?

 Because now, American Actor and Honey Enthusiast, Ray Liotta, has been seen by Haley Joel Osment's Necrosight. That's sadly right, bous and girls: Goodfellas star, Ray Liotta has passed away.

As always, my condolences to friends and families. Ray Liotta apparently passed away in his sleep, personally speaking, the best and worst way to pass away. He was in the Dominican Republic filming a movie at the time of his passing.

While Mr. Liotta has done a multiple array of roles, he's mostly remembered as a "Mobster" since most of his popular roles were of Mobsters. IIRC, HE WAS ACTUALLY THREATENED BY THE MOB. No wait, those were Sinatra's daughters.

TMNT the dumb variants: the rant or is it the other other rant

At $55+ is KINDA hard to justify most of the "dumb variants" that the line has. Which is problematic since this line is MOSTLY variants.

I've even made up themed variants in the vein of a Playmates sub-line.

My issue is that many of these variants are wasted slots. Why would you get Spock Donatello and Mummy Raph, if the rest of the Trek and Universal monsters aren't guaranteed... Hell, let's use an existing variant: Metalhead Michelangelo... why get him if there is no Metalhead Leo, Metalhead Don, and Metalhead Raph?

Seriously? Farmer Turtles? Why!? I know that refreshing a few key characters is nice, but turtles, April, Splinter, Shredder, Rocksteady, and Bebop were the only figures getting variants. Where was the "Ronin Usagi"? A "Mirage Leatherhead"?  "Unmasked Casey Jones"? 

Or Job Interview Casey Jones... Why we never got this but Pancho Villa Mikey was a thing?

It took Playmates 30-ish years to make a Mirage Shredder for the vintage line.

But back to the main topic: the existing, dumb variants: Which would make me shell out some moolah?

A part of me would like the Sumo Turtles, but having all 4. I would plus them up with an extra bald head (the Sumo hairdo is weird on bald reptiles) extra hands are obvious, including a flat palm hand) Each Turtle would have the "Sumo version" of their weapons. The only reason I want them is to make them into the Adult versions of the TMNT... the AMNT. Long after Splinter and Shredder died, the AMNT slowed down with their Ninja/hero stuff and became acclimated to a "peaceful life". 

Their pizza and beer diet and their mutagenic nature caused their plastron to mutate. The coming of Shredder's daughter, Karai forced the Turtles back to the Ninja lifestyle.

(Here Business suit Casey would've worked as an older, more Mature Casey Jones who still does Vigilante stuff, but works an 8-5 office job.  Also, the April II figure would be a great Older April.  I can't believe I just made a reasonable excuse to validate the dumb Sumo Variants.

SuperMutants:

The ones from the infamous anime. I'm torn on these. The only one I can say I really want is the "Normal" Shredder... from the line. The dragon "Devil Shredder" form is not something I want. Speaking of things I don't want, the SuperMutants April is high on that list... sure her face is pretty, but she's flat.

 

April is supposed to have a decent rack... yes, I'm aware how creepy it sounds talking about cartoon breast sizes. But flat April looks kinda weird...

But I like her hat... dammit, now I'm torn on flat April... If she was made, I'd turn her into a new character...

 But going back to the SuperMutants. The redesigns are garbage. The turtles look like Wolverine. Rocksteady looks like a cross between Cell, a monster from La Blue Girl, and Rocksteady. Bebop looks like a gremlin that made love to 2012 Bebop... but these are a smidge better than the Jim Lee TMNT. Fuck the Jim Lee TMNT next to the farmer and trolls. 

I won't say no to Vacationing Foot Soldiers. Literally the same as normal Foot Soldiers with awappable heads (glasses and no glasses) and new cloth Hawaiian shirt. Maybe add some tongs and food as a nod to the cameo and justify the $55 pricetag for mostly a reissue of an army builder.

Like the SuperMutants wave, I'm only interested in the Metal Shredder.

While an animation error, the longer hair on Metal mutants OVA Aprol could be a nice extra for flat April. The Generic Ninja from the Metal Mutants OVA would be cool as well... yes, I'm aware that I'm drifting from the vintage toy dumb variants to variants and new characters from the Japanese OVAs... mostly because the OVAs were made to sell these toys. Honestly, I don't feel the Metal Turtles, because they feel like... Saint Seiya. 

The Muta Force Turtles are dumb in a good way, but they seem to be grossly out of scale. IF Super7 were to make them *in scale* with the rest of the line, each would be close to $200 due to the mech body being roughly Mon*Star sized AND requiring a $55 Turtle as a pilot. 

The Cyber Samurai Turtles are the bad kind of dumb. Basically the Turtles wearing a Japanese "Iron Man" exo suit that looks like TMNT characters had sex with a Megazord and somehow inherited Majinga Zetto's Rocket Punch!

I know what you're thinking: why haven't I touched music turtles, mutant military, sports turtles and other, turtles wearing human clothes variants... because they're Turtles wearing human clothes variants. Some are OK, others, not so much. My issue is that aside the first disguise wave, I only like random figures from the other waves and wouldn't want the entire wave... (if the figures were the original ultimates price of $35) I could ignore some duds, but at $55+ I have to be extra picky. 

Talking figures that won't talk are pointless. They're vanilla turtles with an oversized sewer backpack instead of a shell. Their accessories and heads are cool, but not $55 cool.

Something Similar can be said of the Storqge Shell Turtles. Their problem being modern artigulation and engineering could ruin the Storage shell Feature. The heads are cool though. Accessories are meh though. 

Like the storage shells, the head droppers are a meh variant. Unlike the storage shells, the heads here are meh as well. In order to replicate the Head "hiding" effect, a new basic body with removable necks are needed. Personally, I wouldn't want Super7 to waste resources here since the engineering wouldn't allow for a proper recreation of the feature.

The Wacky Action figures well, aside Splinter and Shredder, the other variants are too similar to the Vanilla releases. Right now at this moment, rekeasing figures too similar to the vanilla releases (Aside the army building Foot Soldier) would be a mistake. I want most of the Wacky Action figures, but right now they would be a bad idea. 

Maybe releasing an "upgrade pack" for each turtle with 3 heads, couple of hands, and the zany accessories from various vatiants could be an alternative. 

Plus-up for the vintage TMNT from 93-94 to Super7's TMNTU... Forgot if this is part 4 or 5.

 In any case, this list might be rather short, sonce 93-94 was mostly variants, and Movie 3 Turtles and I don't want to watch the movie again to get inspired. 

Robotic Rocksteady 

The Prybar won't be a wrist mounted accessory, but a full interchangeable "hand" like Robotic Bebop's Drill. He also gets a battle damaged wrist, like Bebop. A brand new Jetpowered Sledgehammer with removable flame effect. 

Mona Lisa:

2 extra heads, being Toon Head and IDW inspired head (but in vintage colors). Extra hands

Sandstorm:

An extra head wearing a Keffiyeh (the headdress that T.E. Lawrence wore) a fully painted Magic Carpet shield with a clear stand so it can "hover"...

Halfcourt:

An in scale NORMAL Basketball and hoop in addition to his shield and Beehive "ball". One hand with a peg on the pointer finger to plug either the beehive or normal ball. His shield sbould match the colors of the other hoop, which kinda explain the whole Halfcourt thing.

An extra head without his tongue out, and an extra head going full Jordan with the tongue.

Hotspot:

Extra head and Hands, watter effect that plugs to his hose. (I'd use the pee stream I already own on his review) 

For 1994 we only have Krang's Android body... the other is the Vac Metal foot Soldier, but that's a dumb figure and we already have GITD as a dumb Redeco for the Foot Soldier. Also, I already did Army Builders and how to do repaints redecos of the Foot Soldiers.

So Krang:

The size should be close to Mon*Star. The robotic body should have all the accessories from the small Krang's Android body including the Bubble Walker. I know it feels like a dick move to get another Bubble Walker after paying $55+ for Wave 5's Krang, but the Krang in the Android body should have a different head and different tentacles from the Wave 5 Krang.

Extra head for the Android Body, winged backpack from Turtles in Time. This might put him in the $85-95 range and Super7 should do like they did with the recent Andre the Giant and make Krang's Android body a single figure Wave release.

This one was rather short due to the line focusing on variants over new characters. Especially when most of the variants are dumb.

Playmates' Laziness has reached a new Low... TMNT vs Street Fighter II!

 Better be ready for yet another reuse from the "Classics" Turtles body that they have used for their TMNTC, Movie Turtles, SOTO Movie Turtles, "Mirage" Turtles, Vs. Cobra Kai Turtles...

So, are the Street Fighter figures worth getting another set of oversized Turtles?

Holy Hell is that supposed to be Ryu, or an Elvis Impersonator? Also, why is Leonardo so grimy and creepy looking?

I'm hoping that Ryu is taller than BT Bukkake Billy Eilish. The Kojima reference is a nod to Turtles and Kojima sharing Konami. Otherwise, I could not get the most out of this set.

After seeing Chun Li,  she might be shorter than Mutated Goldeen.

While not shown, Raphael will go home and be a family man, while Donatello might need some mighty wings...

Wait, SFII is only getting Guile, Ken, Ryu, and Chun Li?

Playmates don't ⅛ ass this? There are 17 SSFIIT characters... You have already made Rocksteady, Bebop, Shredder, and Triceraton...

There you have enough for Zangief, Dhalsim, E-Honda, and Blanka...

If you play it smart and make a Cammy, you could reuse parts from her and Chun Li to kitbash parts for an April. Ryu or Guile could provide some kitbashable parts to make a Casey. Now you have an excuse to finally delive Splinter and Krang...

Huh, now you can do Cammy, M.Bison, Vega, and Fei Long.

Now you need 4 more TMNT folks to reach the 16... 

Modify the Turtle Torso, fingers and you could have Slash. New arms, head and lower legs on the Shredder body yields a Foot Soldier, reusing a Human body and adding some kibble overlays could make a Rat King. Zangief body with some rocky torso overlays makes a Traag.

There you have all 16 characters...

Akuma has potential as a PX exclusive.

Sadly this would require Playmates to ½ ass things and not go with their traditional ⅛ assing.

Giving TMNT vintage a Plus-up for TMNTU part 3? Toon stuff...

 The Toon sub-line if TMNT is a bit of a harder sell. Especially when NECA has a better "toon line". For the Channel 6 trio, I've tried arguing that for a "toon line" the toys should be "toon accurate" but most would prefer inaccurate designs for the sake of "toy accuracy". With that in mind, I'll  try to reach a Happy Medium.

Let's take Irma as an example:

We know her skirt will have to be cloth for articulation:

Add an extra purple skirt. The sweater she has tied up should be cloth as well, but in light blue and it should fit over the figure after removing her removable backpack... See where I'm getting at? Her default look is Toy based, but she has the parts to be Toon inspired. Add an alternate expression head and a Turtle Terminator head.

The extra hands are obvious. Maybe extra bare arms to facilitate the usage of the blue sweater.

Burne on the other hand is a bit difficult to do.

The bit of Toilet paper on his foot can be a removable piece that plugs into a peg hole on his foot. The Sandwich could be removable or attached to a hand. The area where I'm having issues is his shirt. A cloth shirt would look bad 

MOTUC styled interchangeable overlays could work with interchangeable arms between yellow and blue shirt... oh no... just thought of a crazy idea.  3 sets of arms and 4 overlays:

Toy Yellow sleeved arms, Toon Blue sleeved arms, bare arms. The overlays would be:

Messy toy overlay in toy yellow and toon blue

Neat toon overlay in toy yellow and toon blue.

I know the bare arms are a weird addition, as he's never been shirtless in the toon. The reason I suggested it is one of the overlays (messy) has his belly showing up partially; so I thought why the hell not? 

It works in multiple ways:

-Hostage situation, like say: Pizzaface captured Burne and planned to make pepperoni with his meat and intestines. Or Baxter planned to experiment on him.

-Out of Character moments of badassery, like say: Burne is going Rambo on a bunch of Foot Soldiers. Or he took off his shirt to go Mike Haggar on the Rat King.

-Out of Character funny moments, like say: Burne is drunk as fuck dancing on top of a desk to celebrate his 50th Birthday. (Of course this one is not an official selling point.) Or pair it with a blindfolded Vernon for some kinky Channel 6 fun.

There isn't much to do with Vernon, as he's close to toon accuracy... copying NECA's Blindfolded head and maybe the wererat parts would be an obvious start. Extra Blindfolded April head would be a nifty extra accessory. 

That completes the Channel 6 Trio now let's head on to a different Trio: The Neutrinos

Right out of the bat, they will need clear stands, especially Zak and Dask for their hoverboards. Kala would need a different clear stand since she has anti-gravity boots instead... or Copy NECA and give her a hoverboard instead. Personally, I vote for giving her both the boots and the hoverboard with only the hoverboard requiring a stand.

Dask would need extra head, hands, Turtle Communicator. (As well as his toy accessories)

For his Jetpack, Super7 could mimic ML Nick Fury from ToyBiz and make a stand out of the Jetpack's exhaust fumes. Maybe a third head based on his IDW look

For Zak, second head and hands is a start, Turtle Communicator, a second set of accessories in dark purple as his 1992 release. Maybe a second clear stand for the second board (an alternate solution for Kala and her lack of board) a third IDW inspired head would be nice.

For Kala, extra heads (IDW inspired head as well) and hands are a start. She'd have 5 Turtle Communicators:

Foldable Toy based

Purple repaints of April's 2 Communicators 

And Male Communicators in Michelangelo colors. (Based on her  intage connection with Mikey, it makes sense) 

She could come with a hoverboard or use the extra one from Zak. If she doesn't come with a hoverboard, her anti-grav boots need a clear stand.

Now that the Neutrinos are taken care of, let's move on to the bad guys...

Shredder:

Tonight I'll Plus-up this Vintage repaint:

New second head with Cartoon Accurate Helmet, new Third Oroku Saki Head.

Same hands as original Shredder, but also New hands mimicking the old hands, but with added spikes, gray tunic that mimics his toon look. (Remove it for vintage toy accuracy.) Evil communicator, and an Ooze canister complete the Shredder.

I said Bad Guys so let's go beyond vintage and bring on bad guys:

Bebop

Same as the Normal Bebop we got, but in a slightly paler color skin, dark purple glasses and hair, yellowish shoulderpads and light silver leg brace and nosering.

Same accessories as Normal Bebop, but adding the Triceraton Gun. All of them in a combination of Silver and light grey. Toss in an Evil Communicator and we're done.

Rocksteady

He's a repaint of Rocksteady, but based on the season 1 look, where he had camo pants. Instead of woodland camo, the toon looked more like desert cow camo. Bright Yellow shirt, brown boots and yellowish shells. His helmet should be a yellowish green color with grey goggles.

For accessories he gets the standard Rocksteady accessories and a new Bandolier with a wooden machete. I almost forgot the Evil communicator 

The Bad Guys were easy, but I haven't tackled the heroes...

The Turtles themselves pose a Dilemma. They are too close to the vintage release from a visual perspective and I'm not sure if Super7 will go full toon body for them... so I will do 2 versions:

Full toon version and "Classicized" version.

Full Toon would get a new Toon body with less details on the shell, less veiny limbs and less detailed clothing. Also, to fit with the toon theme, they're all the same shade of green. I know the vintage toys were glittery versions of the toy colors, but in order for them to be "Toon Turtles" the Toon colors help them pop better.

Leonardo

The Fearless Leader gets the toon accessories AND the normal Leonardo katanas in Toon colors. Both the toon swords and katanas should fit on the sheaths on his back. 

 2 heads based on the toy. One normal and one with the eyes popping out. The third head is a serious head based on the toy sculpt. 

Donatello 

At least he's easier than Leonardo. He only needs the Toon Head with a free spinning knot, but he can get 2 more, the serious head and the goofy head with a fixed knot. I'd add the tea cup and plate from his "does machines" coffee maker. There is no real difference between the Toon Bo painted in normal colors from normal Bo to justify 2 sets. (Which would make 8 Bos) but the rest of the toon accessories would be fine.

Oh gosh... Super7 would make a Donatello Coffee Maker diorama and sell it for $55 and I would probably buy it.

Raphael 

He would require 3 heads as well:

Normal, spinning, Serious

3 sets of Sai:

Toon, Original and soft version of Original.

For extra stuff the Pizza slice with the sai hile and the rest of said Pizza on a tray. Of course, he needs the other toon accessories as well.

Michelangelo 

Mr. Party Dude gets 3 heads, tongue out, tongue in, Determined head. Toon chucks with rope, toon chucks full plastic, toon Chucks with chain.

Twirling chucks (like Panthro), couple of versions of the grappling hook. The one we already got with real rope. One with plastic rope hanging still and a twirling grappling hook. He would also get the rest of his toon accessories.

The difference between Full Toon or Classicized lies in the body. As I said, Full Toon would require 100% new sculpts that would be reused amongst the 4 Turtles with 4 individual belts. Heads and hands would also be brand new.

The Classicized would use the standard body with new cartoon inspired belts... think the normal TMNTU belts but no shoulder straps. In Raph's case no Katar pouch. The buckles would be More Cartoon Inspired with a thicker buckle and engraved Initial. The serious/determined head would be reusing the Original Head.

Splinter:

This one is easy:

Lighter brown rerelease of Splinter with a new toon head. Eliminate the Baby Turtle and replace it with an Ooze canister. Eliminate the plastic kimono and have a cloth kimono with sleeves and use the belt from Shredder.

I'm not to do a "Toon April" despite the line having one, BECAUSE it's OG April in a green outfit.

I will also avoid Movie 3 for now... I would need a lot more Sake to sit through that one...

George R R Martin is still not writing The Wonds of Winter and he is butthurt about fans.

 Remember George R R Martin, author of A Song of Ice and Fire series that started in the mid 90s and got an HBO adaptation whose last 3 seasons were a shit show because the books weren't finished and the Showrunners had to make shit up to reach an ending? Well he's complained recently about "vicious fans" who write mean stuff like "where's the book" on GRRM's blog posts on how he's doing lots of shit not related to finishing The Winds of Winter, which was getting the final touches back when Mom was alive. So yeah, I've no sympathy for George Slowass RR Martin. 

Yes, back in the pre-internet era, one had to sit down, write a letter, pay for postage and send it. Then the letter would reach the publisher and it would sit on a pile until they reach the author. This excessive hassle was removed with the internet. So, if I wanted to say: For God's sake GEORGIE SLOW AS MOLASSES RR SIT YOUR FAT ASS AT YOUR DESK AND FINISH THE GODDAMNED BOOKS BEFORE YOU DIE FROM A HEART ATTACK MARTIN, I could do so without the filter from having to write a physical letter and send it. The instant nature of the internet has removed some filters that the old school methods of communication had. 

The letter version would not be as succint as the "vicious internet message" but it could be quite as vicious:

Dear George RR Martin:

Based on your recent publications, it appears that work on the Winds of Winter is not being done. The lack on progress on this tome is alarming, due to painfully obvious reasons, but I shall point them out to avoid any obtuse replies.

You are no longer a child of Spring George, Winter is coming and you're in Autumn. Not to mention your massive corpulence, which could potentially overwork your heart. Instead of spending time doing tours,  fundraisers, or other excuses that keep your Twiceman behind away from your desk.

Write, George, write the goddamned books!

Sincerely,

Disgruntled fan #8675309

Mindy Kaling's bastardization of Velma: a rant

 It would be easy to go for the low hanging fruit of criticizing this bastardization for race swapping. I detest race swapping because it show that the people in charge aren't good enough to come up with an original character that happens to be a minority. Instead they have to use "whitey's hand-me downs". That doesn't elevate minorities. It makes them look like parasites that latch-on to popular stuff and appropriate it... but I'm not going to stick to that.

My issue is that this series takes a massive dump on Scooby Doo. This is Scooby Doo Minus Scooby, Fred, Shaggy, and Daphne. While, yes there have been Scooby shows without Fred, Daphne, and/or Velma, the one constant has been Scooby Doo. The 2018 Daphne & Velma movie wasn't well received because it was bad, but most importantly, it was Scooby Doo minus Scooby, Shaggy, and Fred. Not only that, but Velma is solving Murders, like what the Hell!?

We're dealing with actual murderers here... this is not a developer pushing a scam to scare people from a soon to be foreclosed amusement park in order to get some cheap real estate. Also, underage naked redhead... pointing it out because this is pre-Scooby and Scooby stuff has the gang being somewhere between 16-19. Wait, the other underage girls are naked too... Is this the mature nature the show wants to promote? This is like a Pizza Cutter: all edge and no point.

The show already missed the point of Scooby Doo if they think that Shock Value makes it more mature. 

As silly as it sounds, the Original scooby Doo is far more mature than this and it didn't need gore or underage boobs to do so. While the show glossed over the desperation, the schemes, greed, jealousy, and other factors that drove the people to dress up as a monster and invest far more money than required to get out of their debt in order to terrorize those who were troubling them. 

I'm not opposed to Mindy Kaling voicing Velma. What I'm opposed to is how Un-Velma this premise is... and I'm not talking about the race swapping. This is a bad copy of Murder She Wrote, but with an Indo-American lead. A murder mystery show with an Indo-American lead isn't a bad idea. What makes it bad is taking the Scooby Doo concept and remove everything except Velma, change her race and force it into  a slightly similar, but different type of show. How do you go from seeing dudes sloce off heads to guy dresses up as bigfoot for real estate scam?

Now on Velma's design: if you see the pic with no information about it being the new Velma series, would you recognize Velma?

The answer is no. You wouldn't. At best, you'd say that the glasses remind you of Velma. The Grey Hoodie and black gloves hide the quick Velma identifiers. Red headband, white karate gi = Ryu. Red cap, red shirt, blue overalls, mustache = Mario. White hair, red shirt, white pants = Race Bannon.Black hair, Leopard fur tunic, blue tie = Fred Flintstone. Reddish hair, Yellow Jumpsuit, white boots = 1987 TMNT April. Pink vest, whitw undershirt, lavender tights, and purple boots = Prince Adam. Orange Turtleneck, thick rimmed glasses, red skirt = Velma. Clothing, hairstyle, color palettes.

Art by ckjedi

If you change the race of an existing character, you NEED to keep the other character identifiers as close to the original as possible.

Had the hoodie been orange, the viewer could easily identify her as Velma. Yes, I'm aware she has her orange sweater underneath, but it's hidden by a grey/black hoodie that breaks her color palette.

Compared to this hastily finger drawn on my phone minimalist new Velma. You wouldn't recognize her as Velma, not because "she's brown" but instead, her palette is not what people commonly associate with Velma.

Color palettes used to identify characters are one of the reasons why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles received different skin tones and Bandanas on the toys.

Unfortunately, now I have to revisit the race angle. Kaling, commented something about people not freaking out about a talking dog, but freaking out about an Intelligent South Asian... it just shows how wrong and dishonest her argument is.

First, a nerdy Asian? Really? That's as uncommon as an obnoxiously loud African-American, and a horndog Latino. Stereotypes, how freaking progressive... (said full of sarcasm) The point is that people dislike these forced swaps to fill quotas. Trying to make X character fit into all the races and sexes is a dumb idea. Just as there isn't a version of real people to fit all races, fictional characters should be treated the same way. 

It boils down to the same thing: We've become so progressive that we're regressing into segregation. I recognize that children of different ethnicities would benefit of seeing heroes that Look Like Themselves. At the same time taking a white character, repainting him into a different ethnic look, is accidentally insulting the non-whites. We don't need a black Reed Richards. We need a black superhero who is smart enough to be seen as a scientific peer by Reed Richards. We don't need a Latino Batman, we need a Latin American hero who has suffered great loss, and from that loss, has forged his will to become a weapon for good. The problem is that this requires hard work and effort. Something the modern "progressive creatives" do not want. They want all the recognition and glory without putting in the work.

Second, her main focus being on race is harmful for the product. Race swapping is a weak criticism shield. If the show fails, none of the "creatives" will recognize that something was wrong with the show and blame "racism". If the show fails because people were put off by Kaling's "fuck the fans" attitude, the blame will be put on racism and not on the star attacking her customers.

Third, and in a way, the most important point: she's taking over a 53 year old franchise with a multi generational fanbase that can be a bit zealous. Kaling already stated that she was going to deviate from who Velma is in order to make her more South Asian-like... or should I say more Mindy Kaling-like?

So, you change the character's race, the origins, the outfit, and now the personality, then WHY Call her Velma if she's NO LONGER Velma?

Will I be watching this? Nope! There's no point in watching a Scooby Doo Minus Scooby Doo series... especially one who uses race as a shield for criticism.

If they really wanted to expand the lore and add Diversity, then Velma could have been a prequel in which a non-race swapped Velma (voiced by Kaling) is taken under the wing of an amateur detective wunderkind (who happens to be South Asian) who solve strange cases across town. Eventually, Velma's mentor disappears while following the trail of a Mysterious Mastermind. Then, Velma keeps solving cases sometimes on her own, other times with different (Hopefully semi recurring) classmates (of various races, ethnicities, genders, etc.) while trying to crack her toughest case yet, the disappearance of her mentor. Slowly, the rest of the Scooby gang is introduced. Most likely due to different cases. Examples of possible cases: Norville Rogers is facing expulsion for allegedly eating the food from a food drive (the culprit is a Great Dane puppy). Daphne Blake has been stalked by a mysterious creep who leaves creepy messages regarding how close he is to her. Frederick Jones, who is kind of a rival to Velma, is accused of destroying the bike of Redd Harring, a classmate/bully who despises Jones (obvious reference to Red Herring from A Pup Named Scooby Doo). Hell, maybe for one episode Velma IS FRAMED and the Scooby gang decide to help her. The idea is to start with small, high school level of pranks gone wrong stuff and up the ante all the way to real not-family friendly Mysteries.

For the Finale, the gang solve their first BIG Mystery together, setting up for a new Scooby Doo, Where are you!? But what do I know? I want to be respectful to the source material.

The idea is to expand the cast beyond the gang and hopefully adding a contribution to the lore.

Maybe even create a Mystery Inc. Rival team  helmed by sCrappy Doo and other recurring characters. (Not the exact team, but something like say: Flim-Flam, Hot Dog Water, Redd Harring, a new character, and sCrappy Doo) 

Odds and ends May 20th 2022: ay-yi-yi! ROCKY is now the best Red MMPR

 At least he is not accussed of fraud, unlike OTHER Red Rangers... yes, Austin st. John, aka Jason, the original Mighty Morphin Red Ranger, was charged of fraud.  18 people were involved in this fraud scheme and among them was the OG Red Ranger... Tommy might be a douchebag, but at least he's an honest douchebag. Ay-yi-yi! I guess when Zordon asked for teenagers with attitude, he didn't mean this.

Seems like Daredevil is getting a new Series on Disney+. Will Charlie Cox reprise his role as Matt Murdock? I hope so, but with him being in No Way Home and D'Onoffrio as Kingpin, there is a chance that The Devil from Hell's Kitchen will be back. The only thing that worries me is that Disney might tone down the violence for Daredevil, because Disney.

Seems like Kathleen Kennedy learned ALL the wrong lessons from the failures of the Sequel Trilogy and Solo.  Recasting Iconic charactera on prequels is NOT a bad idea... if it was, we wouldn't have Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan. The problem was that the kid playing Solo didn't FEEL like a young Solo. Also, the movie being mostly fluff to start a TV series about a young Smuggler named Solo. 

The Disney sequels... I've already stated that lack of clear direction, forcing "girl power" and overreliance on Jar Jar Abrams was what screwed the sequels. Because, as much as people disliked The Last Jedi, Rian Johnson was paving the way for Star Wars without Skywalkers. The Mandalorian and the Book of Boba Fett proved that you can do side stories with Star Wars. The issues lie on choosing WHAT TO TELL and WHERE IN THE TIMELINE DOES IT GO.

Most of you know the song Chariots of Fire, from the movie of the same name... or is it from the nightmarish computer game QWOP? Well, the composer of said song, passed away. Insert Haley Joel Osment Necrosight remark here.

Apparently, COVID-19 was the Cause of death 

Disney is going to whore put Stan Lee's corpse...

 By making a CGI clone and using old footage for audio/visuals. I feel uncomfortable with that. Ignoring the ethics dilemma, it's just weird having a fake Stan Puppet pretending to be Stan. We know it's not him, so it feels like Disney is desecrating a body for money.  But Disney's got to Disney...

Holy crap! It's been 22 years since this game!

Marvel Legends Emissary from Hell Supaidaman

 It's actually happening:

Marvel Legends is making a Japanese Spider-Man 

Well, we're one Spider-Man closer to 

getting 70s American Spider-Man now...

I know that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but this is a Sentai Spidey that could cross over to another Hasbro line full of Sentai stuff...

Also, Bagman is Finally being made!

I will of course display him with the F4...

Hasbro is also making an Iron Man retro carded War Machine, but I couldn't save the pic. There is a Mojoworld 3 pack with Mojo, Longshot, and Dazzler (retro wave Dazzler with a new head.) Dunno how these will be sold, but I'm guessing Online Exclusives since they seem "too obscure for retail".

So, I saw Doctor Strange in the MoM...

 And  I can't stop laughing at how dirty it sounds... Doctor Strange was never inside any MoMs. Also, this movie is kinda hard to talk about without Spoilers...

Originally, the movie was meant to be before Spider-Man Return of the Tobey and Andrew. Also, straight after WandaVision. With The good Doctor visiting Wanda as she was astral reading the Darkhold... but COVID-19 and SONY pushed Spidey before Strange in the MoM and the latter got some reshoots.

Xochtil Gomez plays América Chávez... nothing against the kid, but she looked more like Dora the Explorer than América Chávez. She did a decent job WITHOUT yelling Holy Menstruation! But sadly, she's more of a McGuffin than an actual character. 

My biggest issue with the movie is the same as Captain Marvel's... everyone outshines the main character. The same thing happens to Dr. Strange. Wanda steals the spotlight whenever she's on. (Also, there's a very subtle pair of jabs at Full House fans with the plot... using an Olsen to replace anothet Olsen and a scene with two Identical Olsens... you could say they were Olsen Twins...) Mordo steals the spotlight from Dr. Strange, Wong steals it as well. The Illuminati steal the spotlight from Strange. América Chávez steals the spotlight from Strange... Hell, Rachel McAdams' mole steals the spotlight from Dr. Strange... I know it sounds a bit childish to complain about a mole, but that mole has grown a lot since Mean Girls. It could be a tumor. Even the Waste of Flesh... I mean NOT SHUMA-GORATH  stole the spotlight. Speaking of which, Marvel may be losing the Conan license sooner than expected. But Strange playing side character to everyone else is the biggest complaint I have with the movie.

Now if we can get "616" Fantastic Four and X-Men (actually Earth-199999), that would be great... and now we have no excuse for the yellow chair, since we saw it in the MoM. While we are at it we demand a comic book accurate Doctor Doom!! I'm also hoping that there is a Rated-R cut of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, because it most definitely look like Raimi wanted an R-Rated version.

A well a everybody's heard about the bird... a Yu-Gi-Oh! Rant

 The 3 legged Crow has been unbanned after 18 years! That is correct, Yatagarasu is back!! Limited, but unbanned.

For those of you who can't see the video, when Yatagarasu inflicts damage to the opponent's life points it forces the opponent to skip the next draw phase. If you empty the field and your opponent's hand and summon Yatagarasu, you essentially won the game. 

With an Empty field and with no way to get any cards, the opponent has fallen into a Yata Lock and they can only surrender or wait out enough turns to see if the Yata Player decks out, sonce Yata only does 200 damage and must return to its owner's hand at the end of the turn.

I don't know how effective will Yatagarasu be with the current meta... then again, my Yu-Gi-Oh! Knowledge reaches only 2012-ish. But holy shit! Yatagarasu has FINALLY BEEN UNBANNED!!

How to plus up some vintage TMNT figures for TMNTU Part 2 1991-1992

 I will be skipping most variants that are NOT Super Shredder. There are far too many turtle variants at the moment. So let's begin!

I'm starting with Super Shredder just to get him out of the way. He should be Mumm-Ra sized. (I already mentioned that Krang's Android body should be Mon*Star sized.) How to plus him up? Extra hands would be a start. A TMNT2SOTO inspired head for Normal Shredder. (Same normal Shredder head with a new helmet.) A part of me wants to add the elemental effects from Turtles in Time. The other part wants to take the weapons from Shredder's rack (Katana, Katar, 2 Shuriken, and a Kama) and make Super Shredder versions of the weapons.

(Nodachi, larger serrated katar, 2 gnarly overspiked shuriken and a scythe sized Kama with a kris styled tip.) He needs a removable cloth cape. (I'm more accepting of cloth in 1:10 stuff, wtf?)

How to tackle Wyrm:

More worms is a start. (I wonder how the 4 Horsemen will tackle his tentacle leg) a more detailed paintjob will pop up all those missing details. Extra expression hands are a must... (I fear the dick jokes I'll make with his phallic wormy digits. Come on Super7 and hurry up with Irma!!) 

Tattoo: Oh his glorious Big Body should be Rocksteady and Bebop sized. Adding a cloth Kesho Mawashi (pre-fighting loincloth) and Yukata (yes, the reason for me adding the yukata is to mimic another Fictional Sumo Wrestler... a throwing salt hand would be a nice plus.

Tattoo's Tattoos can come to life according to his bio. Sadly most of his tats aren't "coming to life worthy" or Asian enough. But he should come with 3D figurines/weapons BASED on his tats. (Not all of them, maybe just the animal ones and the skulls) maybe the usual extra hands and head.

Chrome Dome won't be easy since we start with no chrome on his dome... (GITD variant in the futute?) Lots of hands would be a starting point. He already has some "techno weapons", so maybe add some more? Or take a page from the Cobra BAT and have a Battle damaged head, wings and electric effects that can be clipped on him for "battle damage/shorting out.

The next character to tackle comes from the land down under... Walkabout! But does he eat a Vegemite sandwich? Because I want him to have one...
Articulated Kid Kangie... not asking for super articulation, but 3- 5 points because there isn't much that you can do with him... maybe give him a Crocodile Dundee Knoife. Expect Steve Irwin References IF he comes out the toy chest.  

The main issue with this character is that we have barely anything on him. All we know is that he's a mutant kangaroo Crocodile Hunter from Australia. 

Sgt. Bananas is a different character than Guerrilla Gorilla. I've referenced that Sarge and GG can co exist in a previous rant. So in order to spice up the sarge, we must hit the accessories  first. Hands and head are an obvious start. A Desert Eagle inspired gun would be a nice accessory for the Sarge. Also, multiple Bananas. A bunch (the whole lot of bananas that hangs from the tree), a Hand (a smaller cluster of Bananas), and a Single Banana for the sarge. Obviously a slightly more areitxulated Larry the Lemur...

Groundchuck is the next one. We have very little to work with. Sure, we could copy NECA and give him the toon stuff, maybe the Pipe piece from TMNT3 The Manhattan Project... Or how about the branding iron mentioned on the filecard. 

For Dirtbag, a head with his lamp painted in GITD yellow for starters. Extra hands, the Shovel on his ratpack should be removable, heck a repaint of Bebop's drill gun would be a nice addition.

Now let's hit 1992... Zak won't be here because he'll be when I tackle the Toon variants... which I will... in part 3 or 4.

I skipped Tokka and Rahzar too, because adding Movie stuff is the way to spice up those two. Also, I could've sworn I already mentioned them, in a previous rant.

Now onwards to class of 1992!

Here I will cheat a little bit, because I will do SOME variants, when I do you'll understand why. I already did the non-turtle Mutatin' figures, so I can skip those.

Movie star Foot Soldier:

Only reason he's here is because I want to have Human Ninjas IN ADDITION to the Foot Robots. Not to mention that if Karai gets made, she can get the human ninja, while Shredder keeps the robots. But on how to spice him up. Lots of hands to use different ninja weapons. 2 extra heads (without Bandana and Shredder Elite with the Shredder mask and Straw Hat) for extra weapons, the Elite Spear, Sai, and other ninja weapons suited for them. If done correctly (belt being separate of the tunic sculpt) then the body could be reused for a Movie Shredder if possible.

April 2.0:

Like I mentioned on the older Mutatin figures rant, Werecat April shares a lot of parts with April 2.0 and since I kinda need her now, here we are. I realized that the normal headsculpt makes her look a bit older (late 30s than the 25 she's supposed to be) 

But she needs an extra head based in her card art. The accessories are OK... I would add more Reporter accouterments. Also, her skintone should match the first April for mix and match options. (If she comes out the Toy Chest, the purple accents will be painted in a different color, because that purple is yucky.

April the Ravishing Reporter: Last April Variant, I swear!!

First, let's talk heads: NO ROOTED HAIR!!

one of her heads should be based on her card art, the second should be INSPIRED by Judith Hoag's hairdo in the first movie. The second should be inspired by Paige Turco's TMNT2 hairdo when she's at the studio. Third and final head should mimic the actual toy. Again, April's skintone should match previous Figures. The idea is to allow mix and match amongst the Aprils. Like I said with April 2.0, more reporter stuff is a good thing. Cloth Skirt is a must. Cloth coat is optional. I would prefer it (Who am I and what have I done with me!? Wanting cloth items!?), but won't complaon if the coat is sculpted. The skirt must preserve articulation and plastic hinders it.

Doctor El seems a bit hard to do, but I'll try. The bio makes this character a super racist stereotype, which will offend a lot of people. Putting that aside, we start with Color... he needs lots of paint on his backside. His accessories need lots of color and those bone chucks need real twine. Since he's a witch doctor, obvious Voodoo dolls of key characters are an obvious addition. Extra trunks are a better alternative to multiple heads. He shouldn't be bigger than Rocksteady and Bebop, despite being an Elephant. The reason, he's a Pygmy, but not a Pygmy Elephant. 

Snake Tail is another one that's difficult mostly due to his articulation and sculpt. Bendy Snakes would be a scary solution, just as a Bendy tail would be. I'm more worried about the rubberized material rotting like Snout Spout more than anything. Swappable snake arms would raise the price a bit too much. To be honest there isn't much that can be done with him.

King Lionheart is easier, since "Medieval props" would help him greatly. A Roaring head makes sense as well. The usual extra hands. A sheath for his Excalibur Is an obvious addition. He also needs a Goblet... since we're going with the whole mutated Lion who was playing King Arthur when mutated, we need a Holy Grail.

Monty Moose is Canadian, eh?

The RCMP arsenal is a good start. I need a ton of background info because how does a Moose become a member of the RCMP? This was a moose that became anthropomorphic due to the ooze and not a RCMP that fell into the ooze after touching a Moose. Also, Shredder has secret stashes of Ooze around the globe, including Canada?

But back to Monty, colored Bob the Beaver,

Multiple hands, and an extra head with a more serene expression. We have so little to work here. 

Antrax is a tough one as well... he needs far more hands due to his four arms. Extra medieval weaponry is always welcome. 

Hothead is far easier: He's a freaking Dragon with an extendable neck.

Super7 should follow the MOTUC Mekaneck approach. Short neckpiece for partially stretched. Medium neckpiece to recreate the full vintage stretched neck. Large S shaped neckpiece  that looks badass and menacing. 

Extra hands are obvious, extra head that can plug in a firebreathing effect. 

Merdude is a tad difficult, but we start with an extra head without an eyepatch frm the cartoon. The Medallion from the Lost Queen of Atlantis,

I think this covers the non-variant stuff from 1991-1992 and the Mutatin figures.

The Movie Star figures, I'll save for another rant.

Diversitiy in videogames, or how Activision-Blizzard practices virtual Eugenics *language*

 In order to fight racism, sexism, homophobia, and all the other evil -isms, Activision made a tool for character design that quantifies certain attributes in order to weed out undesirable attributes, from the attributes they want to keep... that kinda sounds like EUGENICS, which, last time I checked is RACIST AS FUCK!! And after being mocked to Hell and back, the post they made praising the tool was deleted.

How tone-deaf do you have to be to go "virtual Eugenics" in order to promote diversity? Oh wait! This is LITERALLY what the "racist gamers" warned the SocJus Slacktivists would happen when they started demanding representation ON EVERYTHING!! Corporations would only bother filling out checkboxes in order to appease the Twitter crowd.

This is what happens when you DEMAND CHANGES TO BE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. The laziest solution is reduce everything to numbers and use a cookie cutter approach, where characters will be as deep as a kiddie pool.

Again, what is it with people and DEMANDING everyone to be like themselves? I don't need Lara Croft to be a fat 40-something Latin American to relate to her. I can do so quote easily by playing the game. I don't need to be an African American from Los Angeles to Understand CJ, nor Japanese to understand Ghost of Tsushima. I don't need to be an abandoned child who is forcibly mutated to understand Geralt. Nor do I need to suck people for power like Kirby... 

What we need is more relatable characters that happen to be non-white and where it makes sense to have them. Like say having No Latinos in 950 Japan is not racist. 

We need less 1 dimensional characters whose entire personality  is labels like "non-binary, queer, trans, curvy, with self-diagnosed depression, pronouns are fooneeqlee/fooneeqlah"...  you can have characters that have all those characteristics, but they have to be MORE than these labels.  

We don't need to fill checkmarks. We need compelling and relatable characters, more than anything "politically correct". We need great storytelling, rather than preaching. We need FUN GAMEPLAY over social justice. Sadly, the SocJus minded folks, see games as tools to spread their propaganda (for lack of a better word) they'd argue in defense of Bowser, because Mario stomps on Goombas and kicks Koopa shells instead of the exciting new mechanics/gimmick that the game has. They'd rather whine about Quiet's outfit being too revealing, than discussing how Kojima's anti-nuke message is a bit ham-fisted and somewhat hypocritical.

I'm not saying that you can't have message. I'm saying that the Message should serve its masters: story and gameplay. People tolerate Kojima's preachiness, because he delivers fun games with compelling stories for the most part... (Norman Reedus and the funky fetus ain't one of those) if you're more interested in SocJus than actual gaming, the end product will suffer.

But, at least pretty much EVERYONE thinks that Activision fucked up woth their Virtual Eugenics tool.

Twisted Metal TV series looks lile it's going to suck

 They seem to be following the rule for most videogame adaptations: Fuck the games, fuck the source material, and fuck you fanbois.

Sure, the show has a John Doe as the "protagonist" but now they added Mirabel Madrigal as a character that was "oppressed into silence by her community..." I guess they weren't fans of the Madrigal Family song... 

and they named her Quiet... Really, Quiet? I mean if we didn't have

one of those already, I wouldn't complain much about the name.

But the main reason to complain is that She's a brand new character created for the show... Yeah, we know how those work. They are the ultimate Middle Finger to fans of the property, since they take the source naterial, wipe their ass with it and become the focus of the shows/movies...

Milla Jovovich in "Resident Evil"

Cole Yawn in "Mortal Kombat"

Are the two biggest offenders. I could Mention The Rock in rampage, but at least the focus was kept mostly on the Monsters Rampaging.

Twisted Metal in name only has The Falcon as an amnesiac who drives a milk truck and has to deliver a mysterious package in order to find out the truth about his identity.

Kinda sounds more like The Book of Eli than Twisted Metal. The cast right now are Anthony Mackie and Stephanie Beatriz. Not inspiring any confidence. Sweet Tooth barely gets referenced in the article as a "deranged clown". 

The closest thing to an actual Twisted Metal is called Death Race... not this show. Just like Down Periscope is a much better Battleship movie than Battleship.

Making a case for the TMNT Movie stars variants.

 In the how to plus up the 91-92 I talked, or will talk about plussing up the figures from that year and I dabbled in variants with the movie Foot Soldier... the tense confusion comes with me writing multiple rants at the same time and not all of them having the same publishing date. Right now I don't know when I will publish the latest batch.

So, the Movie Star Turtles: I know, I know, "why bother when NECA has released a superior product?" 

Simple one word explanation: Nostalgia. While yes, the NECA Movie TMNT are amazing action figures with mirror screen perfect accuracy; I have a soft spot for The Playmates Toys figures.

So, let's talk movie stars:

Playmates did the 4 Turtles, Splinter and Foot Soldier.

I want to tackle those and more. To quote a former Mattel Brand Manager and professional writer and desperate vlogger yelling doom and gloom for clickbait: Logistics.

This will be one of the reasons why the NECA movie stuff will be "more accurate" than whatever Super7 can do. The other reason is Nostalgia... so let's take those ideas and add some Penny Pinching in some areas while Splurging in others.

Turtles 

It feels like I'm gonna be lazy, but let me start by stating that most of the stuff they'd need would be props from the first 2 movies. Taking a look at the NECA Accessory packs could give you a hint of stuff needed.

For example, Michelangelo's special twirling hand and nunchucks is an obvious idea to copy from NECA. 

One more thing: DO NOT MIMIC THE RUBBERY MATERIAL FROM THE VINTAGE FIGURES!!

An idea I have that might be unpopular is "Mistakes" like a human hand for Donatello based on the skating mistake, or the Turtles with wires coming out the back of their heads, or a human mouth inside the turtle mouth kind of thing.

Obvious extra hands and heads are obvious. Full Pizza is another obvious one, a pizza sliced in 5 pieces with each slice coming with a turtle and Splinter is another. The donuts from Secret of the Ooze is another accessory to use. 

Splinter

Well let's start with no flocking (don't want Super7 screwing that up.) Multiple hands, an extra head, adding some movie accessories like the Ninja Rap newspaper, a pizza slice that fits on his head, normal slice, the shackles from the first movie. (Super7 could reuse the old Splinter torso with new legs and heads)

With the turtles and Splinter done, we could end here, but no. I will sail "uncharted territory" and go beyond vintage, while remaining respectful of vintage.

Shredder:

This is  where we reuse parts from the Movie Star Foot Soldier. If s7 makes the belts a separate piece, we can reuse the torso. New arms and lower legs where the normal Shredder Spike armor pieces can be attached to.

Add a head from the other movie.  If the shreder is from TMNT2SOTO, then add a TMNT1 Head or viceversa. The shredder belt should have the small knife used at the end of the first movie sculpted into it. Reuse the Shredder weapon rack weapons and the javelin from the first movie and add a small ooze container from TMNT2SOTO. 

April O'Neil:

Right out of the bat this is a repaint of April the Ravishing Reporter. Brown cloth skirt, the tights and lower legs are painted in a tan pantyhose color and her shoes are red. Her coat is yellow.

No rooted hair for this reporte, but she gets a head "inspired" by Judith Hoag... Basically Toy April's head with Hoag's hairdo. 

Extra hands,purse, sai, microphone, other movie themed accessories.

Casey Jones

Imagine the Casey figure with Shredder's torso painted like a shirt, a new head and a new vest used on the torso. That's more or less what Playmates would do. Using that mentality leads to the Movie Star Casey. The main difference is that he gets an actual shirt sculpted. The rest of the body is reusing the Toy Casey parts. The same applies to his accessories. The main head is similar to the existing Casey, but with long hair. He gets an extra unmasked head with the sculpt based on the TMNT3 Whit figure, but clean shaven and with long hair.

I know that April, Shredder, and Casey feel super cheap and half-assed figures. I know, but that's on purpose. Had Playmates done these figures, they would've been close to my ideas. I tried to give them some uniqueness using the Ultimates treatment, but I had to start from a Playmates perspective and on non-turtle toys, they tend to cut corners. To get truly accurate figures we have NECA. Super7 is for getting the perfect Playmates Tribute that Playmates is too lazy to do themselves.

Why isn't GTA4 getting a Remaster?

 With GTAV, the not so great 3D Era GTA Trilogy Definitive Edition available on Modern Consoles, it's odd That GTA IV is not getting a remaster, especially as a "WAITING for GTA6 Stalling tactics game". 

While, yes, I enjoyed it a bit less than the Original GTA SA, it was a good game and it deserves at least a port to modern era consoles... with the end of PS3 era, a ton of gaming classics are going to be "lost" and that is disappointing. As much as companies love to hate on Piracy... it's reasonable because of self8 explanatory reasons, Piracy has preserved most of the 8-bit to 32-bit era games. N64 Emulation and beyond has been a tad problematic. That's why when news like this or this pop up, hopes get up. PS3 Emulation is difficult due to the Cell Processing. What SONY has now is streaming PS3 games through the cloud, which sounds like a logistical nightmare to folks with data caps and slower speeds 

My PS2 died and I need to get it fixed to play the shit ton of PS2 games that I have... that's literally the last gaming generation that can be fully preserved, because it doesn't require being online at all... once the servers for certain games go down. You can't play the games anymore... or at least the elements that require online. Unless, of course, the game gets ported to a more modern console...

Relying on online is "good for now" but not "good forever"... as studios die, get sold and butchered, licenses lost... games get lost as well... for example, now the only JoJo games are the Bandai  Namco JoJo games. The Dreamcast game by Capcom? Tough shit... Piracy is your only hope, because Capcom no longer has the license and can't rerelease modern ports. This is why the Cowabunga collection is such a huge thing. Sure, it's a lazy release for Konami, but at the same time it's an attempt at preservation of past games in an anthology...  but now with games requiring to "phone home" to be playable, relying on Patches and DLC to have the full experience, and going to digital format, where the players can lose access if the company goes broke, kills the servers or many other factors. Then there's the ends of certain licenses that cause content to be removed (GTA Trilogy is an example). In say, 10 years from now if Rockstar doesn't pull a port/remaster of GTA4,  it'll be unlikely that we'll be ablento play the game ever again.

Well, guess what? This was one of my favorite PS1 Games, Blast Chamber... no ports have been made. Since my PS2 died, well, I can no longer play the game... unless I use my PS1 disc on a pc with a PS1 Emulator. The game wasnta critical success, which explains why it wouldn't get any ports... but The Activision Spider-Man games were good (except Enter Electro) but again, lost to history due to licensing issues.  

It's scary to think that I can still obtain many of the games from my childhood LEGALLY, but games from my college years, are impossible to get legally.

Kelly Kapowski is not who I remembered

 Kelly Kapowski: what comes to your mind? The saintly brunette with a cheery behavior that you could swear Disney's Snow White was a big meanie next to her. As a tween, I had the biggest crush on Miss Kapowski and I was blinded by her holy aura... and did not aee the devil hiding within...

As much as it pains me to say this:

Kelly Kapowski is an evil bitch!

No, this is not some schoolboy jealousy talking crap about her because I can't have her. (She's a Fictional Character, and I'm real.)  I'm well aware that Zack Morris is trash, but Kelly Kapowski is not that far behind. I'M NOT DOWNPLAYING Zack's morally wrong behavior, nor saying he's an innocent man. I'm focusing on Kelly's garbage behavior.

She used Both Zack and Slater to get what she wanted.

On the first Season of Saved by the Bell, both Zack and Slater had a rivalry due to their crush on Kelly. Well, throughout the season, she took advantage of the rivalry and used the boys for her own means.

She got mad at Zack because he wasn't happy that she went out with an ex, who dropped in for a weekend.

Sure, she's not "Zack's property" but "hanging out a whole day with your ex" is not cool.

Does the Johnny Dakota thing even count?

Kelly has a thing for older men with power over her. "Famous" movie star Johnny Dakota ends up wanting to film an anti-drug PSA on Bayside after Belding and Zack use Kelly's beauty as a plus for Bayside. While she and Zack weren't together, the whole Kelly (who was a minor at the time) dating an older man is a repeating red flag for her.

Jeff... need I say more?

Yes, Zack did try to cheat on Kelly,  I do remember nurse Jennifer... but Zack wasn't successful and we all know Zack Morris is trash. The point is that Mother Kelly of Bayside  cheated on Zack with an older man, her boss. The guy was an even bigger piece of garbage than Zack. (Nothing against Patrick Muldoon, who played Jeff,  but his character was a big piece of shit.) This whole submitting to men who have power over her is a bit disturbing.

But wait there's more. Kelly went to Lisa's birthday party woth Jeff, knowing full well that Zack would be there. What's worse is that everyone blamed Zack for it, when it was Kelly who caused the trouble. Yes, Zack was a bit of a dick with using Screech's cousin and rubbing her on Kelly's face, but Kelly was the one dating her boss behind Zack's back.

Also, when Zack, Slater, and Screech caught Jeff with another girl, she thought Zack was making it up because he was jealous, when he had witnesses.

Hawaiian Style fling with her Grandpa's Lawyer...

Kelly has a thing for older men... sure, she wasn't dating Zack at the time, but this is before heading to college. Seriously, an Adult Lawyer flirting with a girl who threads a fine line between jailbait and barely legal in front of her grandfather!! What in Zack Morris' oversized cellphone is going on here!?

Professor Lasky... Basically Jeff 2 Kapowski Boogaloo!

In college, shortly after dropping in by surprise and Zack had moved on, she manages to wrap zack in her little finger and once they start dating, BOOM! 

She has an affair with her anthropology professor 

That's some ethics violations from Professor Lasky.  

Eventually she marries Zack and they deserve each other.

Holy hell, I haven't seen the peacock sequel, but this clip kinda makes Kelly seem like a Mrs. Zack Morris...

That whole "Doctor" thing sounds very Zack of her. 

I still love Kelly Kapowski, but I really didn't notice all the BS surrounding her... guess I was distracted by Screech's badly acting like he was on the spectrum while channeling a bad Jim Carrey impression. Or Jessie predicting the behavior of Modern feminists... or all the hairbrained scams pulled off by the young Homelander. Fuck Kelly Kapowski... not that way... sadly, I'm younger than her and have no power in order to fuck her in that way. 

Also, I've been talking about the fictional character, and not the actress. I have to point that out because some of my readers aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. Those kinds might think that I'm talking about Tiffani A. Thiessen, when I've been sticking to the character she plays. 

Super7 Thundercats wave 6 mistake

 Super7 accidentally spoiled wave 6 via email... wave 6 sucks donkey dick. It's pure LJN repaints.

Notice the wave selection? Mumm-Ra, Lion-O, Monkian, and Cheetara. 

-Mumm-Ra who arrived Recently... after 2 years of waiting.

-Lion-O whose reissue from the Thundertank preorder period also arrived recently. And the Mirror Lion-O (another repaint) was in Wave 5...

-Monkian, who also arrived recently. (Waiting for Vultureman to review them together... I have him, he'son the to-do list like Tygra)

-Cheetara, whose original release hasn't arrived to our hands and the sample pics are highly disappointing.

What in the actual fuck!? Who thought this was a good idea!?

Going for repaint/retools of recently released figures is a huge red flag. Lunataks, Thunderkittens, Snarf, Hachiman, Mongor, Safari Joe, Ratar-O, Berbils, Berzerkers, and other characters come to mind as releases far more needed than Repaints... especially from

Laughing Joking Numbnuts

I don't want to be that guy, but it's not looking good for Thundercats. I get that a "cost saving wave" is a thing, but if a Repaint wave was "this important" it should've been a lot better than this:

-The Hammerhand "Panthro" after he got burnt and looked brown. Toss in a normal head for Panthro repainted in "evil pupilless Look" from the episode Spitting Image which is the origin of rhis figure.

-Stealth Tygra, which would be a clear Tygra featuring the missing elbow pad for normal Tygra and a clear version for Stealth Tygra.

-Spirit of Jaga, which we need him as a variant of Jaga... 

I'm aware that Tygra is kind of a "recent release", but it also allows us to "fix the mistake S7 did with Tygra" and give us one of the 3 Tygras they can do. Third Tygra is the frail old Tygra from Trouble with time. Sadly, Super7 did mirror Lion-O on wave 5, so he stole a slot better used for this wave. I kept it to 3 figures, because an Annointed Lion-O straight after Mirror Lion-O is a bit of a boneheaded move.

So many key characters to make and s7 is blowing their wad on variants...

Wait... You motherfuckers... they all have New sculpted parts... 

-Lion-O has new hairstyle, new claw shield and sword.

-Mumm-Ra has new heads, new left arm, new neck wrappings new headdress and weapons.

-Monkian has new heads, apparently a new loincloth 

-Cheetara only gets new hairpieces and new right forearm.

I'm not going to lie: the timing for these is AWFUL!! Had these been wave 9 figures After we had gotten the Thunderkittens and Snarf, I wouldn't complain much... but at $55 or in Mumm-Ra's case guessing somewhere between $55-$85 getting LESS STUFF than the cartoon versions is a slap on the face. Also an easy skip...

You know what happens when multiple waves become skippable? Lines end prematurely. Right now Super7 can not afford to have multiple skippables.

If these were $35 and Mumm-Ra $50. I could begrudgingly convince myself of getting these.

Also, can we call these LJN styled Lion-O and Mumm-Ra if they don't have these?