Aug 31, 2013

The Newest console from Nintendo is the 2DS... Really?

Really? Really? Really, Nintendo? You make a new console that is "more affordable" and by doing so, you messed the heck out of it!?

So, you removed a switch, a hinge and portability... GREAT INNOVATION THERE, guys!!
Clunky and awkward looking. Sure, it's cheaper and can use both 3DS and Normal DS games, but that thing looks uncomfortable to play with. You have most of the controller on the higher screen and to use touch screen functions, your hand needs to travel all the way to the bottom screen. That distance is the difference between, beating a boss or getting a game over. The trigger buttons are part of the reason for this bad design. Wouldn't it have been better to release a more DS-Looking 2DS... Perhaps a special "Gameboy Edition"  with Special Green Tint Screen protectors as a nod to the Vintage GB. Same old DS with the hinge and everything (Except the 3D Toggle)

The only good use that I see for that 2DS is Ace Attorney!

Aug 30, 2013

What the @#$% did they do to Skeletor!?

Never judge a book by it's cover, they say...
We've seen Iron-He-Man... Well here's Nimonslaughtrod Skeletor!
The only thing that could make this Skeletor worse
is if he was a Rob Liefeld Design...
Seriously, that thing is a few Pouches short of being an XTRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!! 90s character...

That suit is completely impractical. He needs to turn at least his entire torso to look at ANY direction other than forward. He cannot move anything above his elbows. Arm movement at the shoulder is non-existent for him. Not only it's fugly, but it's Impractical. BTW Skeletor's Lower Jaw is Missing... just like my hopes for the DC Comics MOTU...

That video is what comes to mind when I see that Skeletor... Well, there's also Beelzeboss, but this Skeleabomination doesn't deserve it.

So far the only redesigns I've liked are:
He-Man (First version of him), Teela-at-Arms from this crossover... you can kinda see it in the pic here. Holy crap!! I've said a positive thing about Nu52 Teela!!

Now I hope that the Unnamed One does not look anything like this...
This Design is Barftastic!!

Aug 29, 2013

Open Letter to Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley:

I know you will not read this, but I need to vent. Yes, most of the times I write posts about you are done in a semi-satirical way. Picking on your craziest moments that get publicized on TV.
Last Sunday's performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was sad, pathetic and desperate.

I get it, you get it, I think everyone in the world gets it. YOU ARE NOT HANNAH MONTANA!!
For years you've been trying to distance yourself from the wig-wearing Disney Channel Pop Princess.
Problem is that you've BEEN TRYING TOO HARD!! Instead of looking more mature and sophisticated than the Artificial Disney Product; you end up looking Trashy. There is one thing that you need to accept: The Ghost of Hannah Montana will haunt you for a long time. The more you struggle, the more it will come back and bite you in the ass (metaphorically speaking). You are not the first one who has gone through this and you'll not be the last one.

Look at Dustin Diamond: Porn video, ending up on a VH1 Reality show, being a douchebag in general and he can't still get rid of

Screech Powers... 13 years later and people still call him Screech!

Sam J. Jones: Bodyguard, Security industry Professional...

better known as Flash Gordon. 33 Years later and he can't still get rid of that.

(Then again, he learned to embrace it)

Hannah Montana ended about 2 years ago. Hannah is still fresh in many people's memories. There is still Hannah Montana Merchandise being sold. While this is out of your control, YOU are supposed to be under your control. Sadly, it seems that you're not in control of yourself. Now I'm not saying that you should have stayed Hannah Montana Forever (no pun intended) just that you should have done a smoother transition.

Let's start with the Tongue. Just stop it. It's not cute, cool, sexy or badass. It makes you look trashy.
Then there's the whole...white trash slutty act. If the message that you wanted to send is "I'm not 12 anymore, I'm an adult now" I have terrible news for you. IT DID NOT WORK!
Slutting it up does not equal sexy. Groping teddy bears, "masturbating" with a foam finger, using it as a phallic symbol and trying to conceive Beetlejuice's child on stage is not sexy. This jarring transition is what is making people dislike you.

You need to find a middle ground...

I'm not sure if you're trying to emulate Britney Spears, but she's not exactly the best role model ever... Though her transition worked WAY Better than yours. Then again, her transition act was called the same thing as people are calling yours. (give it 10 years and people will possibly say that your Bear humping disaster wasn't that much of a disaster) which brings me back to the Ghost of Hannah Montana. After donning the wig, you became a role model, whether you like it or not. Younger girls still look up to you. You may not like it, but your Destiny IS tied to Hannah Montana Forever!! (again, no pun intended)

While you can't turn back time and redo this and perhaps transition to an "adult" in a not so crass, tasteless and "in your face" way, you can dial it down a few notches. Many people enjoy every time you make a fool out of yourself. I should love it too, cause it gives me a LOT of Material for me to rant about. Especially since your antics are apparently following the recipe for a trainwreck.

While my words will fall in deaf ears, mostly because you won't read them. If you do, then they'll be ignored because I'm a "Hater". I'm a former fan, not a hater. These childish, "look at me I'm a grown up!" antics were the ones that keep me away. "Your people" may be feeding you BS about how wonderful that was. Their heads are so far up your ass that they know what you ate this morning.
While you need to stay relevant, there is no need to go to these extremes. You NEED to hear the bad as well as the good.

I wish you the best, but you need to step up and clean up your act. More Mature doesn't need to be smutty.
a Former fan!

Aug 28, 2013

Dreamworks has the Twins

of Power... He-Man and She-Ra are now in Dreamworks hands... I hope this means new cartoons. Especially those that include She-Ra... cause so far She-Ra's story has been the best part of the DC Comics... Unlike Hasbro, who got a tight grip around the cartoons based on their properties, Mattel has let the Filmation cartoons slip through their fingers. Sure Mattel has a deal that can make certain Filmation characters as MOTU Classics toys, but it's not the same thing as having said characters in their libraries to use for future lines. Sadly, they've missed their chance now that Dreamworks has some interest in the brand.

Again, if Mattel wants to keep He-Man Relevant, they NEED to keep the brand Relevant... so, Cartoons are the solution. I mean, Dreamworks has made cartoons out of the Penguins of Madagascar, How to Train your Dragon and Kung Fu Panda. Maybe just maybe, we'll get the Power and Honor of Grayskull being called upon once again!!

Aug 27, 2013

Trailer Park Madonna has done it again...

Or at least that's how I believe he sees herself as now...

Obviously, I'm talking about former wig-wearing tween sensation Hannah Montana!! I mean Miley Cyrus and her infamous 2013 MTVs Awards that make no sense since MTV is no longer Music Television!

Well, Here's Miley strutting her stuff, dancing with Teddy Bears, rubbing her crotch on Beetlejuice's less talented brother and pseudo-masturbating in public.
Billy Ray Cyrus' reaction shot...

As much as I detest Will Smith, I have to agree with his reaction here.

I don't know if she and Bieber have a competition on "who's the biggest train wreck?" but Miley is winning by far. Biebs, you can catch up! All you need is to take a dump on the table at a restaurant and demand that the chef eats it!! Sorry for the disgusting image, but that's the only thing I could think of that could beat Miley's trashy act.

for the umpteenth time, we GET IT Miley, you're NOT Hannah Montana! Can you please stop rubbing your crotch and offering your bony ass everywhere?

Aug 26, 2013

Why the end of DCUC is not that huge of a deal

I mentioned in a previous post that DCUC did not make the numbers for the sub for 2014. It's not the end of the world.
about 44 figures came out in the proto-DCUC line DCSH (many of them repaint variants, but, the point is that they were available for years.)
DCUC had normal 20 waves, Multiple 2 packs (not counting the DCUC vs MOTUC packs here, but they had 7 of those) Multiple SDCC exclusives (Lobo, Plasticman, etc.) Mattycollector-only 2 packs, 2 Green Lantern Classics waves, 2 Batman Legacy waves, 2 Public Enemies waves, a 5-pack, a 12 pack, about 3 waves of Batman Unlimited, 4 waves of DC Unlimited (The nu52 take on DCUC) Plus 2 years subscription on Mattycollector. then there's the 2-3 waves of Young Justice stuff... which is kinda compatible with DCUC (Artemis can work on the display, the YJ Robin... not so much)

Yes, it sucks that DCUC is ending, especially after getting so many characters, but since DC is not a Mattel property, any other company can work on it after Mattel loses the rights to do DC toys. Then again, Mattel is not the only company that makes DC toys.
DC Collectibles, DC's own toy branch also sells figures and DC stuff
-Hot Toys makes high end Batman figures (and a 1989 Batmobile)
-Square Enix's own Play Arts Kai line does Batman stuff as well.
-NECA's got some Batman and Superman stuff

Hasbro, Toy Biz, Kenner have done DC stuff in the past... So, it's a matter of waiting and checking out OTHER venues for some DC fix. Then again, I've seen plenty of forums where DCUC brought complaints. QC sucks, too many Hal Jordans, incomplete teams, QC is craptacular. Even I wasn't immune to the complaining due to piss poor QC... I dodged a bullet by never finding a wave 16 Robin (the feet break easily) The early waves have the "white fuzz". The figures have problems with their legs (as seen with my Cyborg Superman) Articulation lost due to super soft and gummy pegs on the thigh joints.

Starting all over again royally sucks, I know. Unlike say, Street Sharks fans, DC fans have multiple avenues to get stuff. Street Sharks fans are royally screwed cause they're getting nothing at all... except jokes about being fans of Street Sharks!!

Aug 25, 2013

Batfleck has left me dazed and confused. I'm not fond of the idea of relying on Batman for a Superman movie. Ben Affleck spent years trying to make people forget about DareDevil (except FX kept reminding us of that with multiple airings of DareDevil and it's craptacular Spin-off) but now that he's Batman, many bring back Gigli... Guilty!

Apparently, Brian Cranston (of Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) is going to be Lex Luthor...
I gotta say, that's not a bad Idea... I think anyone can do better than this:

I hate to say it, but this may be shaping up to be something good... We got rid of Christian "Mad Dog" Bale as Batman! But yes, I was being serious about Mewes and Smith for Bat Villains... I really wish DC didn't rely on the Bat-shaped crutch...

Aug 24, 2013

DareDevil is now Batman

Yes, you heard me Ben Affleck... not to be confused with the Aflac duck... is now the God damned Batman... Insert Mandatory Matt Damon for Robin joke here. The internet is full of Affleck-hate right now...

This gives me an excuse to use the overplayed Evanesence song from a crappy Affleck movie!

Electric Nachos: She loves beating the crap out of the Handicapped... Just ignore that Matt Murdock has super powers for a minute and see this scene as a normal bystander... she comes out here as a bully.

Sorry, back on topic. He COULD Pull it off, but do we want Mr. Gigli as the Bat Shaped Crutch? I think he's better for Superman than Batman. Wait... didn't he say that he never wanted to play superheroes ever again?
Ben Affleck said it was humiliating... but is now going to do it?
Interesting. He's working out two hours a day to get in shape... Batfleck is happening! Sadly, the biggest overreaction to these news has been deleted. Someone made a petition to the White House to stop Batfleck from Happening... Since this is Happening, I suggest Jason Mewes as the Riddler and Kevin Smith as the Penguin!

Aug 23, 2013

It Came from the Toy Chest: Stonedar and Rokkon

What!? I had nothing funny or any rock puns for the comet warriors, so mocking their bend over rock transformation was the only thing I could think of. Well there is this whole rant about how Stonedar and Rokkon are a Metaphor about they being the consumers and they bend over to Mattel, but since MOTUC made it another year, I can't use that.
Straight out of the package, you can see that it's obvious that these guys are the comet warriors...
If you look closely, you can see where the S.S. Logistics has screwed us again... TRAP JAW LEGS!!
but in all fairness, there are some clever parts reused... aside the Trap Jaw legs. The Rock pieces are where Mattel blew their budget.

These folks have about seven or eight origin stories. Most of them involve the comet warriors being some sort of Space Hippies. Stonedar and Rokkon are father and son... Granita is Rokkon's sister in some origins. Not sure if she's anything else in other origins... Sadly, Granita is not a MOTUC Figure and probably never will... Yes, we made it through 2014, that is super awesome, but Mattel needs to keep wowing us for 2015 to make it... (a rant for another day, I promise) Let me focus back on the real stars of the review, The Comet Warriors.

So let's get back to the ratings par where 1 is crap and 5 is awesome.

As you can see they share some Articulation with the Standard figures. Severily Limited with the Rock Pieces attached. Without them, they have the standard range of Articulation as a normal figure. Then again, not having the rock pieces on the Comet Warriors makes them pointless...

As rockless as possible!

They can REALLY bend over... due to their loincloth, and "action feature"

2.5 WITH Rock pieces, 4.0 without rock pieces.

Paint and Sculpt:
There is a combination of old and new parts here... something I mentioned way up there! The New parts make them POP! The Old stuff is mostly Trap Jaw boots, Roboto arms on Stonedar, Man-e-faces shoulders and Kronis arms on Rokkon.

Kinda looks like an Astronaut inside an escape pod.

While they don't have sloppy paintjobs, there are some paintrub issues with the comet warriors. The inner parts of the rock pieces rubbed some gold and silver paint on random spots on them. (silver for Rokkon and gold for Stonedar) In some places the  paint has scratched off due to posing.

Their Satellite Dish gun... That does not spin like the vintage one... Logistics. Or if we do a Nettossa we can count their rock Pieces.


3.67 overall score if we have the Rock pieces... 4.17 without the rock pieces.
Here's the thing: I'm not going to complain about Mattel "being cheap" because they didn't do the vintage Toy thighs, or how much Mattel design sucks ass when the Horsemen made the leg clips function as the missing bands. I have to say that clipping the pieces on the Joint holes was clever. I'm supposed to be wowed by them, but sadly, I'm underwhelmed. The sculpts are cool, but the rock pieces are big, clunky, awkward and limit poseability way too much. Removing them, kills the whole rock people thing they have going for them. Now if we could get some non-human Comet beings... better known as METEORBS... that would be a different story...

Aug 22, 2013

odds and ends Aug. 22 2013

It's been really slow news yesterday... Lucas Cruikshank is gay... How is this shocking news!? His sex life is his own business! Might as well ramble about Miley Cyrus... Let's see what she's been up to?
Really? Miley wants to regrow her hair is news!? She could always wear wigs, what's the worst that could happen if Miley wore a wig?

I'm gonna need a Rambo-sized shot of testosterone after reading through that Miley news article...
How about a Rambo TV show?

OK, it could work on HBO or something, but Stallone is not getting younger... Then again, The Expendables lends itself more to a TV show than Rambo...

Holy crap! I did not know... Lee Thompson Young died... The Famous Jett Jackson... Suicide... DAMN!! Best wishes to his surviving relatives.

Aug 21, 2013

Wiseau for Morbius!!

Yes, you heard me... As much as I hate the Spider-Douche movies, and hate what they could do to Morbius, I've found the man PERFECT to Play Michael Morbius, AKA Morbius: The Living Vampire!

He's the one and only Tommy Wiseau!

I'm serious, you can stop laughing now. Tommy Wiseau is PERFECT for the role of Morbius!

Weird Somewheuropean accent... Check!
Not that pleasing to the eyes compared to Andrew Garfield... Check!
This is what I got when googling bloody Wiseau
Looks like Morbius, even when not showered in blood... Check!

His acting might be a little bit... peculiar, but as Morbius it could work as some sort of Criticism to the vampire movies genre...

and you KNOW you want  to hear Tommy Wiseau saying that line!! Also, I just realized that this is my #666th Rant... It's a coincidence that I ended up ranting about Tommy Wiseau on this one... BTW I WILL be reviewing a Wiseau Movie... Soon!

Aug 20, 2013

The Sub-mageddon suspense...

It's killing me!! Now we have to wait until Digital River finishes crunching the numbers  and for Mattel's graphic's guy make the final charts. The Sub period is officially over. The waiting game is keeping everyone on Edge. Due to unforeseen circumstances I'm likely to not being online for the rest of the day and miss out on the outcome of this. C'est la Vie and all that!

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope that the MOTUC Sub makes it... Cause Modulok, Blade, Two-Bad, Scorpia and...
My favorite Princess

Not to mention the possibility of NA Skeletor (that $25 Qaurterly is screaming NA Skeletor)
I have faith that MOTUC will make it this year... 2015 is another story. It will depend on 2014 making it and no issues with QC and Digital River... as well as support from the customer base.

If DC Makes it, I'd be surprised. Damian Wayne is not the best incentive I've seen. If the line fails, 20+ waves, 2 years on Matty, not to mention the extra Batman and Green Lantern Waves. Sadly the Mattycollector lines get zilch in marketing and all boils down to the fan support... Which makes these drama-filled month a huge pain in the neck. I could point fingers all day and make multiple rants on why the Matty Model is a huge pain for the customers/fans, but the guilty party will never accept its mistakes. 

I have little faith on the Ghostbusters preorder. I've said it before, but if it makes it. THAT would be a miracle.

Hopefully the mood will be closer to this

than this

But to end on a more positive note... We did fight tooth and nail... Hell Matty made a subber out of me!


He-Man is Flaming!!

Sadly DCUC only reached 63%... Teh Ecto-1 was a 38% and It kinda sucks for DC fans and GB fans...

Aug 19, 2013

Holy crap! It's been FOUR YEARS!?

To be honest, I didn't think I would be ranting for four years here. Sure it's my blog and all that, but honestly? I wasn't sure I would have found the right direction... I mean I do, but it's a pretty broad thing because, It's kinda how I work. It's a bit scattered and I focus on seemingly unimportant stuff while skimming the important stuff...

It's been a crazy ride: We still haven't gotten the He-Man Movie. There's a G-Force (as in Gatchaman) movie, the Death of Hannah Montana, The MOTUC... Oh my gosh the MOTUC... Seriously, as much crap that Mattel and Digital River have given me throughout these four years, those toys are simply AWESOME!!! Can't wait for my Castaspella!! Holy crap the MOTUC SDCC Reveals were the best reveals yet!!

I musn't forget My Little Pony, which has also given me enough material for reviews and rants. I have seen a moderate decrease in my gaming, but I find it a bit too hard to make videogame reviews especially since I'm mostly a retro gamer... Should I review Super Mario World? Zelda II: Adventure of Link? Batman Forever? Contra? Final Fantasy 6? Hang-On? Quick! Give me $160,000 So I can reread their Wikipedia entries!!

Nah, just kidding... the part about you guys giving me money... The best thing about this is actually YOU!! No, I'm not trying to kiss your butts, but It's pretty cool to get your feedback! The craziest thing was one of my rants being shared (not by me) on some sites I visit AND on Facebook! (I mean crazy in a good way!!)  Again, thanks for reading and sharing your comments!

Also, I hope you bought the sub... cause you might be a bit late by now... If you hurry you might have a chance... In the words of a certain Guru: BUY THE SUB!! I need Glimmer, so buy the freaking sub!!
(I had to make a last plug for the MOTUC Sub...)

Aug 18, 2013

MOTU Stagnation 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Here I am again with a long winded MOTU Rant. This time I'm dealing with Mattel's role on MOTU Stagnation.

Here's a list of 200X figures No Stactions with their Vintage era wave number:

Beastman 1
Skeletor 1
He-Man 1
Zodac 1
Teela 1
Merman 1
Stratos 1
Battle Cat 1

Triklops 2
Trap Jaw 2
Evil Lyn 2
Faker 2
Man-e-Faces 2
Ram Man 2
Panthor 2

Whiplash 3
Fisto 3
Orko 3
Adam 3
Buzz-Off 3
Kobra Khan 3
Mekaneck 3

Mossman 4
Sy-Klone 4
Two-Bad 4
Roboto 4

King Hsss 5
Rattlor 5

Figurewise Waves 1 and 2 are complete. Wave 3 has almost a full roster while waves 4 and 5 are just a sprinkle. The Cartoon had Clawful, Webstor, Stinkor, Sorceress, King Randor, Tunglashor, Squeeeze, Snakeface, Hordak, Mantenna, Leech, Grizzlor and Horde Troopers.

Unlike Filmation, where the cartoon ended BEFORE the toyline did, the MYP crew had a chance to use the unused later waves characters. Clamp Champ was supposed to come on the missing second half of Season 2 or Season 3. something about Duncan being stuck in Snakeman-at-Arms mode and became the Snakemen's weaponsmith... (wonder if this how Blast Attack would have made an appearance) but that Never happened.

The MV Creations guys, according to some internet rumors, got into an issue with Mattel, because they USED SCAREGLOW on a comic. Something about not being part of Mattel's plans with the line... (which apparently involved Making He-Man have the biggest wardrobe in the universe... cause all the variants, silly repaints for most wave 1 &2 folks... except Teela and Evil Lyn cause girls are icky!)

When we get to a movie or a new cartoon, I'm sure that the only wave 6 characters we'll see are Sorceress and Randor... (Perhaps Ssssqueeze and Snakeface, if it touches the Snakemen) Cause here's my prediction:

Battle Cat

Trap Jaw
Evil Lyn
Ram Man

Kobra Khan


Same guys that have shown up on Filmation AND MYP. Yes, I purposely left out Stinkor.
Clamp Champ, Rio Blast, Gwildor, Blade, Saurod, Ninjor need their time to shine... Seriously, the 2002 series could have used Ninjor as a character... a Freaking Ninja... The 2002 series took a lot of Eastern Inspiration from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and they could have abused the heck out of it with NINJOR, the FREAKING NINJA!!
I kinda touched upon this already. My point still stands. I get that He-Man, Teela, Duncan, Ram Man, Stratos are the core good guys, but that doesn't mean that we can't have Snout Spout, Clamp Champ, Gwildor, etc. since the beginning of the new show... or sprinkle them throughout the season.
That's without mentioning the new guys, Draego-Man, Spector, Sir-Laser-Lot, the Fighting Foe Men, etc.

Mattel wants the brand to grow, but doesn't look beyond the 12-back and some waves 3 and 4 stragglers. There is a larger universe out there, waves 5, 6, POP, NA... the new folks introduced with MOTUC.

Some DTV specials as companions to the actual series would be pretty cool.
Here's what I'd do:
Season 1:
Origin episodes, establish the main cast and introduce almost all the vintage line characters (Except the Comet warriors, Snout Spout, Extendar,Horde, Meteorbs and Snakemen) either through cameos or episodes with them. Season 1 Finale is the appearance of the Sword of Protection and the Snakemen.
DTV Special 1: The new SOTS but not quite SOTS.
Season 2:
While He-Man was aiding the Etherians, the Snakemen are released by Evil Lyn and begin to conquer the planet. He-Man's Return to Eternia with the Warrirors Snout Spout and Extendar turn the tide towards the side of good. Hints of Hordak's Return to Eternia are being dropped throughout the season. Skeletor plots to find a power that can Rival the Horde's. Various POP Characters show up throughout the season, aiding Eternians, and viceversa which explains why some Heroic Warriors are not during certain episodes. (In case of POP Spin-off, this allows MOTU characters to aid the Rebellion at times.)
Season 2 Finale, 2 Aliens from a different time/dimension have arrived on Eternia looking for He-Man.
DTV Special 2: The New Adventures:
He-Man Travels to Primus to aid the Primians who are being attacked by Skeletor and his Mutant Army. (Planting the Seed for a NA Mini series Spin-Off)
Season 3: Ultimate Battleground
After He-Man returns to Eternia, he discovers his world in a war-torn state. The Horde and the Snakemen have taken over Eternia and the Heroic warriors are on the run. Now in an uneasy alliance with Skeletor's Minions, Marlena is leading the HW. He-Man calls his Primian allies and the Etherians for help. The Ancient 3 Towers arise and Each side tries to take one for their own.
DTV Special 3: The Powers of Grayskull:
 After arriving on Eternia, Skeletor steals a Thenurian Cosmic Key and goes to the past in order to influence a young Hssss and turn him to his side. The Sorceress sends He-Man back to the past to stop this and find a way to defeat the Snakemen.
The Eternian Alliance find a way to take Grayskull Tower, while the Snakemen take Viper Tower.
5 Part Series Finale: The Final Battle for control of Central Tower...

I guess my strategy is pretty obvious:
Folding POP and NA into the MOTU storyline and allowing Spin-offs for POP and NA to be made. (Not to mention sprinkle some MOTU in POP). I would use the 12-back folks, but adding some of the later wave characters because they need some spotlight time.

In the end the symbiotic relationship between the Radical Vintage Purists who don't want anything that isn't the Vintage line... (Cause they hated 200X and will probably hate the next MOTU Line if it's not vintage styled) and Mattel who sticks to the basic parts of the vintage line because of the loud Radicals is harming the brand.

If we want MOTU to thrive and flourish it needs to get some love, be on the spotlight, not to mention showcase different characters beyond the core core core characters... Also it would help if the brand didn't disappear for a bunch of years after the previous toyline ends...

Aug 17, 2013

MOTU Stagnation...

Wait what? Yes, you read correctly, MOTU stagnation... Before I start I must issue a warning!
This rant could be considered offensive to some people because it involves support to Princess of Power AND New Adventures; not to mention that some of the vintage only fans will find some expressions offensive. While I'm not against people choosing the original line as their favorite branch of MOTU; I'll be referring to those who HATE POP and/or NA and will NEVER give that branch of MOTU a chance EVER... Or in the most ridiculous cases They act as if having a PoP character would give them a case of "teh gays"... Again, "teh gays" is not a real disease. Sexual orientation cannot be defined by action figures, dolls or videogames.

While in the 80s the POP dolls, were, well dolls; the MOTUC POP Toys are ACTION FIGURES.
The NA Toys were Wimpy looking compared to the Roid-Rage MOTU toys... The MOTUC NA Figures Look JUST LIKE MOTUC Figures from the vintage era done in classics style... (With most of the mutants sharing legs with Trap Jaw...)

The Beef I have with some sectors of the MOTU fandom is their inability to understand that this toyline is MEANT TO BE ALL ERAS UNDER ONE UMBRELLA... Not Vintage MOTU 2.0, which is what they want. I mean, seriously, they are bitching about Hydron being a part of the line and that they should have added more vintage... WHAT MORE VINTAGE FIGURES!? We've got about 12-16 figures left from each Era... and NA isn't going to get many characters aside Flogg, NA Skeletor, Hydron and maybe 1 more Galactic Protector. Guys like Kayo, Nocturna have been put in the back burner... (which is a shame).

What does this have to do with stagnation? It's quite simple. The Radical Vintage Purists have a very myopic approach to MOTU. Just the vintage figures (and usually it's just waves 1 & 2). Nothing else exists for them... No, She-Ra, New Adventures, etc... This loud segment of the fandom is part of what is holding this brand back! (the other part is Mattel, but that's another rant for another time)

Their inflexibility to understand that we're all in this together, baffles me. Classics is a line that covers all eras, but unified in a style that makes all figures cohesive. Bow is no longer wimpy, neither is Flipshot. Not to mention that Mattel has catered a bit too much to the Vintage era fans... and I've ranted already about that... Their inflexibility to accept the other branches makes the universe part of Masters of the Universe feel rather small.

NA doesn't fit with MOTU, you say... Syklone, Man-e-Faces, Rio Blast, Blast Attack, Saurod, Blade, Mantenna, Leech, Mosquitor, just to name a few figures are vintage MOTU, but could work well with New Adventures, had they been made for that line instead of Vintage MOTU. Heck, Bow, She-Ra, Frosta, Catra, Entrapta could have worked as Vintage MOTU characters. Their clothes would have worked well and fit the vintage line. (Catra would have gotten a clawing action figure like Terror Claws Skeletor. She-Ra would have gotten the same Twist Waist then punch feature the Teela and Evil Lyn had... which makes little sense with Evil Lyn since she's supposed to be a witch.

But SOME can't seem to look beyond the shimmery dresses and rooted hair. Mattel is partly to blame for this. Marketing the 80s toyline made the POP toys extra girly... (I've already ranted about that too!)
A Mermaid, a Dryad, An Angel, A Cryomancer, a Huntress, a super human Dancer that can generate tornados, a Spy, a Fairy-esque being, an Alien Humanoid with Bee attributes, a Wizard, an Oracle, a Light Manipulator, and A Demi-Goddess do not fit with a line with a Sorceress, a Demi-God, a Telescoping scout, an elephant Firefighter, a Plant Elemental, a Flying Monkey, a Top Cyborg, a partial shape-shifter, and a stretching knight? PoP has more classic fantasy characters than MOTU... which got really weird on those last waves, ditching the barbarian stuff and going towards sci-fi.

That's without mentioning their backstory. A group of Queens, Princesses and other women who had to "man-up" due to the evil alien invaders iron grip in their whole world. Not only that but they were able to regain control on SOME parts of their world! Unlike on Eternia, where He-Man fights to keep the Status quo; She-Ra is fighting for Liberation AND Redemption! Not to mention how that helps show how dangerous the evil Horde is.

It's the frou frou Girly elements that turn these guys off? Well, Classics is using the less "Doll Clothing" from the Filmation cartoon, but that's too Underdetailed? That argument is usually a distraction... The real issue is usually, I don't want non-vintage stuff! With POP no matter how many redesigns, or showcase their backstory, they'll deny it's importance and call it crap... or slime, or whatever. They want to keep MOTU in it's twelve back glory... Which would mean Stagnation. This cycle of 12-back, twelve-back, again and again is what castrates MOTU. Aside Dekker, Adam, Randor and a few stragglers from later waves the DC comic has been full of members of the Twelve Back club. Ironically enough the Lame-ass POP stuff is what's keeping things interesting in that huge mess that is DC Comics.

I'm OK if you don't like POP, NA, 200X, etc. I'm not saying LIKE THEM... OK I kinda am, but it's because I can see the awesome beyond the shallow stories and obvious ploys to sell toys... Because The vintage mini comics were so deep and so hardcore...

The thing is just because you don't like POP, NA, etc. doesn't mean that they shouldn't be made! While yes I mock Nepthu for being unwanted but in the end, I'm happy for those who wanted him... Same thing goes for Geldor.

I find it incredibly funny when a Radical Vintage Purist... (The ones that go on crazy tirades and need to remind everyone how much they dislike POP on every post on every forum) whines about the MOTUC Sub and how there's 3-5 items out of 17 that are NOT Vintage... But you don't hear the NA fans complaining about having to buy 15-16 non-NA items Each year... Or the POP fans having to buy 13-14 non-POP Items each year... MOTUC made me like NA.

If we had other shows, toys, videogames work with the radical vintage purist logic we'd have:

-All the seasons of The Real World would be with the Season 1 Cast.
-Power Rangers would be Jason, Zack, Trini, Kimberly and Billy vs Rita... No Tommy, no Lord Zedd
-Thundercats would miss out on Pumyra, Lynx-O and Bengali... (While No Bengali would be fun... We kinda need him)
-Final Fantasy XIII would still be about the same 4 Warriors of Light.
-The X-men would be the 60s team.

I wonder if they love the Legend of Zelda... It sticks to the same story with the Same 3 characters...

Before I close this mega-long rant: I'll do another reminder.

-Preferring the Original MOTU over the other branches is not bad. Being an asshat about it with the whole guys who like POP are gay... (Some are gay, others are straight... I happen to fall on the second category...) or how POP should have never been added to an all encompassing line!

-If you haven't given POP a try, do so... Check out who is who and use that with their world's background. Same thing applies to NA... The cartoons might not be perfect, but it's a start.

-The clothing on Primus and Etheria is not necessarily the same as Eternia. The same way as a Samurai's clothes are not the same as a Viking's... and that's on the same planet... Try having similar clothes on different planets and time periods.

Aug 16, 2013

The T.A.I.N.T. has a date! Aug. 8 2014 and other stuff

That makes for the shortest rant ever... Let's pad this sucker out!
They moved it from June 6, 2014 to Aug. 8, 2014... The answer is simple. This is to avoid Michael Bay's Transformers 4: We got rid of LaBeouf!

Wait wait wait wait... am I reading this correctly? Barry Allen is going to show up on Arrow... but will get his own Flash Spin-off!? Holy crap! This is GREAT NEWS!!
I mean, I loved the 90s Flash with Dawson's dad as Flash...

This has me very excited obviously, cause I loved the previous Flash series, also, cause it's someone that it's not Big Blue or the Bat Shaped Crutch... Now we need to do something about Wonder Woman...

Normally I don't do normal local news, but They have found a nest of Puertorrican Parrots in the wild!! (Amazona Vittata... A name I remember since Elementary School... don't know why, but I do!) Scientists working in the Rio Abajo Nature Preserve in western Puerto Rico also found a wild nest with eggs, the first discovery of its kind in 42 years. THIS IS GREAT NEWS!! Saving a local species form extinction is GREAT NEWS!! So it's two positive news that outweigh the negative T.A.I.N.T. news!!

Aug 15, 2013

Call of Duty will allow you to shoot females now!

Because now you can customize your character and make a Female Soldier in MultiPlayer... I suppose that Solidus Feminist will spin this into something like I mentioned in the Title... Also she'll blame THE PATRIOTS  I mean The PATRIARCHY!!

I played Call of Duty online once... The experience sucked ass!! I'd call it more Call of Doody, but that joke is overplayed. Aside from being called Noob, and a bunch of colorful names and female body parts that would make a Drill Instructor blush... I was also called PonyBritishslangforCigarette, by a kid with a name like Master Chief bunch of random numbers surrounded by the letter x... Or was it GordonFreeman... The funniest thing is that it did not faze me. It's the internet, Multiplayer game where most meatheads and annoying teens play. Funniest thing is that MOST of the insults came from FEMALE PLAYERS...  but that's not the point.

The point is that this new Female Playable Character will open up Pandora's Box. If players can shoot female characters and upload their videos of them playing the game, then some people will claim Misogyny... Virtual abuse of Women. If they make Women characters "special" then people will complain about Female characters getting weird stats.

One thing I've hated about Recent WWE games is how they have made Female characters unplayable.
OK, so you couldn't play First Blood Matches with Females, ever... but you could have them in the Royal Rumble (When not in story Mode) Single Matches, Hardcore Matches, etc. Seriously, in the older Smackdown games (Here Comes the Pain) I had a Hannah Montana CaW that I used to beat the crap out of the biggest and meanest Wrestlers just for kicks. In the more Recent games, My Hannah CaW is USELESS. She can't fight in many matches and the little matches that she can, her opponent CAN BE DQ'd if her Male Tag Partner lays a finger on My Hannah CaW.

How does this have to do with CoD? Well, WWE games are giving Women "special treatment" which makes Female Characters Useless.
BUT if the Female Characters get no "Special Treatment" It's The Patriarchy keeping women down...
It's a Catch-22!

Then again, I expect to see a Bunch of snakes (Naked, Liquid, Solid, Plisskin) Piss poor Master Chiefs, a couple of Sam Fishers and Characters with Pony References...

Now don't get me wrong, I think it's a good idea to have a female character to be used in MultiPlayer... as long as they don't get special gameplay advantages for being Female characters. Then Again, I'm not going to play any other CoD game... Not my cup of tea...

Aug 14, 2013

Attack of the South American Ball Eating Fish...

There's a South American Fish invading Sweden... and he is hungry... For BALLS!! Right after the end  of Shark Week (which was pretty dull, aside the Megalodon BS) we have these breaking news...

OK, so they found a South American Fish, a pacu, that is kinda like a Piranha, but that eats fruits and nuts, and nuts... and by nuts, I mean balls, testicles.

Kinda like that, but with Fish..
Behold the Ball-Eater!!

They call it the "Vegetarian Piranha" that also happens to bite off Testicles...

Just pretend the Mackerel is someone's scrotum...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...

In any case, I hope Lorena isn't raising Pacu...

Now, seriously, This is just one example of messing around with ecosystems. We've all heard about the Snakehead plague, but this one is a bit more painful and come on! It's a ball eating fish!!

The sea has the shark, fresh water has Pacu... Looks like Pool Water it is...

Again, in all seriousness; don't get exotic animals. They require too much care and then you could screw up an entire ecosystem by being careless.

Aug 13, 2013

Oh Matty... These are the type of things that you drop sooner rather than later!!

As of "Yesterday" (Some Conspiracy theorist believe that this was Friday and not Yesterday)
the Subscription Thermometer for MotU classics was at 57%... We need to make it... MODULOK, people... (and also MY PRINCESS) need to be Classicized...
Well, Mattel in all their infinite Wisdom waited until Yesterday to release THIS JUICY NUGGET OF INFO!!

A Mysterious Sword will be packed with a 2014 Figure. Just like Icer in 2013 had the Filmation Staff of Avion and in 2014, Goatman will have the Mini comic Staff of Avion... this mysterious character will have a sword... not just any sword, but the Power Sword... Well, a version of it that we do not have...
Think about it...

It appears that it'll also be compatible with Castle Grayskull... BOOM! BOOM! But that's not all! They might be able to sneak in more fan demanded Accessories WITH THE FIGURES!! Just like they did with Man-At-Arms, Tri-Klops, Snake-Man-at-Arms, Demo-Man, Fang-Man,  Strobo, Icer, Plundor, Goat-Man, etc.

Diamond Ray of disappearance? Coridite crystal? Shaping Staff? Sword to_____?
Seriously, Mattel is not holding back!! They're going balls to the wall in order to help us get the most out of these last two years... I hate doing the sub begathon, but the only way we can get these is if the minimum sub number is obtained. (If you can afford it, you should get it... We NEED to kick this Meter's ass!)

BTW Who has 2 heads and will not be available for Day of Sales Customers?
TWO BAD is going to be another "Sub Exclusive"
While this may suck for those who can't afford the sub, Come on! The guy is on the $80-$100 range around resellers... Same thing with Modulok and the Unnamed One... If you're willing to throw $300 dollars for 3 figures through a reseller, seriously consider getting the sub... Two-Bad will be cheaper AND you can recoup some of your money by selling some of the figures you may not want.

Aug 12, 2013

Hulk and the Agents of S.U.C.K.

Yesterday was the Premiere of Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. on Disney XD...
It had a great voice cast. Fred Tatasciore as Hulk, Clancy Brown as Red Hulk (Sadly, he was using the Mr. Krabs voice), Rick Jones played by Seth Green, and She-Hulk played by Eliza Dushku... (Holy Buffy Reunion!)

The Animation is decent... The premise of using SMART Hulk is a good idea. It's a lot better than HULK SMASH!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRR!! dumb Hulk...

Why do I  call it Hulk and the Agents of S.U.C.K.? Take a wild guess...

Yes, it sucks... It's like 1/3 The Real World, 1/3 Fantastic Four, but with Gamma Powered folks, 1/6 good and the remaining 1/6 is WHY!? as in Why are they doing this!? We have Avengers Assemble (an inferior replacement to Earth's Mightiest Heroes) and Ultimate Spider-Crap... that not even the Lovely voice of Tara Strong can save that wreck!

I think that Beware The Batman is a lot better, even with its underwhelming animation. I'm Sorry to say that Hulk is a Turd covered in a pretty bow.

OK, so the premise of the show is that Rick Jones is trying to help fix Hulk's Reputation. Annihilus tries to invade Earth from the Negative Zone. In order to stop this invasion, Hulk gets all the help he can get from other Gamma Powered Individuals:
Red Hulk, AKA General Thunderbolt Ross (Hulk's Father-in-Law )
Skaar, Hulk's Son (from the time the Hulk was exiled to space by the Illuminati) I wonder how they will tackle this in the show... (My guess is: He's a half-clone of Hulk by The Leader)
She-Hulk, AKA Jennifer Walters, Hulk's Cousin)
A-Bomb, AKA Rick Jones (He gets an accidental gamma dose that alters his body chemistry in the first Episode)

Aug 11, 2013


I may have mentioned once or twice the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney movie...
I saw it!

I won't review it... I'll just mention that it came out in 2012 in Japan and that it has found its way to Youtube with English Subs.

I'll keep this super short. If you've played the First Ace Attorney game, you know what to expect.
The movie is a retelling of the first Gyakuten Saiban game... (The Japanese game was originally for the GBA and consisted of the first four cases from the DS Version. Case 5 with Ema Skye was not part of the Original game)

It's pretty close to the game... I found myself yelling  Hold it!! Objection!! Take that!! at the screen at random intervals. The movie has a bunch of nods to the game in addition to being based on the game and following the plot of the game. (with some changes as in many adaptations. time issues/logistical reasons, etc.)

The only complaints I have are: Redd White who looks NOTHING like videogame Redd White.
while there IS some game music, I wish the arrangements had stayed closer to the game versions, cause I did NOT notice the music... I did NOT Notice the movie version of My Favorite Ace Attorney Theme...

If I were to rate it, I'd say a 6.5 because it IS a movie for Ace Attorney fans, but those who are not fans will find it a bit stupid.

Aug 10, 2013

Beware the Batman... Seriously, Beware The Batman

Beware Beware the Batman... It's like a Guano Coated Candy Bar... Which is pretty good except the Guano part...

Let's start with the bad:
Without looking online, who is this?
No, that's not Bruce Wayne/Batman. That is Lex Luthor Masquerading as someone else. That person usually has a bit more hair, a mustache and refers to Bruce Wayne as Master Bruce. Yup, Ladies and Gentlemen, Alfred is now Lex Luthor's twin Brother... OK he really isn't but he looks like freaking Lex Luthor here. I know it almost sounds nitpicky, but this is Alfred, we're talking about. (Yes, I know originally Alfred was overweight and bumbling, but that was changed to Alfred's more Iconic Look). While I understand that redesigns happen, it just seems Wrong to have a Jason Statham-wannabe as Alfred.

Gotham City is FREAKING EMPTY!!

I mean the emptiness due to computer animation WORKED with Green Lantern due to the excess of Scenes IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!!! Sadly, this doesn't work on a city that it's supposed to be an ersatz for New Yourk City... The City that Never Sleeps... But this Gotham is the Abandoned City that Batman and random Criminals prowl on.

The Animation... It feels a bit unpolished... almost like it was made in 1994. This could have worked better as old school animation or perhaps Flash animation...

The Good:
The voicework. Holy crap! Kurtwood Smith plays a wonderful James Gordon... His daughter Barbara is played by none other than the Twilightliscious VA herself... TARA STRONG!!
Also, Humpty Dumpty is played by Matt Jones using his Gunther voice... Anthony Ruivivar makes a somewhat decent Kevin Conroy impression for Batman, but it's nothing to write home about.

Alfred's more active role. I guess that almost justifies his Action Star look, but it's cool having Alfred doing more than bringing Bruce his breakfast.

Batman DOING more Detective work to figure out stuff... No "I'm Batman" get out of anything card.

The Huh!?:
The villain Roster is a bit D-List and Z-List. No Joker, No Penguin, No Catwoman here... The Closest thing we have to an A-List Villain is Ra's Al Ghul... Cause they've mentioned the League of Assassins in the show, we should expect him sometime soon. While it's cool that we're going beyond the same old folks, it feels weird that NONE of them are there. Sure the show is trying to be like Batman: Year One with Batman being a rookie, Gordon not being a Commissioner yet, etc. but it feels wrong to have 80s and 00s characters being part of Batman's Early Adventures... OK I could live with the 80s characters, but having a recent villain like Professor Pyg before Scarface, or Red Hood or anyone else... I kinda get the whole "delay the Joker's reveal" thing but...  if none of the main villains show up , some of the casual bat fans will not care much about this show.

It's better than Teen Titans Go! I wanna like the show, but the Animation is a bit off-putting and I think that WB (owners of Cartoon Network) are relying too much on the Bat-crutch... I think I'm suffering form Bat-Overexposure!

Aug 9, 2013

Does anyone still care about McFarlane?

Todd, McFarlane, that is... He's practically begging studios to pay attention to image, cause he wants some of that Superhero movie cash...

Ask the General Public if they know anything about image comics and chances are that their answer is very obvious...

you'd be lucky if they answer with Spawn

but this is not what they'll remember...

This is what they remember... and this didn't go too well... So, Todd McF may be the reason why no one looks at Image for stuff. Then again, looking at Image may point towards an even BIGGER EVIL... Cause pretty much almost anything that is not Spawn and is worth doing was lost thanks to the Wildstorm split... All that's left that is not Spawn is:

Rob Liefeld...

Aside Any X-Stuff he did, you do NOT Want Liefeld near ANYTHING!! Seriously, Leifeld is the bane of good stuff...

Aug 8, 2013

Holy crap!! He-Man, Rambo, and Han Solo!!

Yes, Indiana Jones is going to be part of Expendables 3... Also, John McClane is out... Rambo went to war with John McClane on Twitter... Really? Big badass Stallone called Bruce Willis greedy and Lazy on twitter like a High School girl?

But that's not all! You know those rumors about Han Solo returning for Episode Seven... Well, Mr. Ford is not only letting that rumor go around, but he's still hinting that he'd be willing to do another Indiana Jones movie...

Do we need another one after this?

or the return of Shia LaBeouf?

I'm cool with the Expendables news, since Harrison Ford was a Household name in the late 70s and 80s due to Indiana Jones and Star Wars... Not to Mention Blade Runner. It's a shame about Bruce Willis, but apparently we're also getting Wesley Snipes... Must not make references to the three seashells.  All we need on The Expendables is Steven Seagal...

Aug 7, 2013

New Pope, New Pony Princess, New Doctor... 2013's got a lot of new stuff

The BBC has spoken and chose a new Doctor for their series Doctor Who...
They even had a show and everything to reveal him... cause @#$%^ You Internet, Spoiling everything!

Really funny...
All I'm going to say is put the pitchforks away... YES, He's a Man! NO, he's not a Ginger! Yes he's WHITE!! Deal with it... They chose who they thought would be the best choice for the Doctor. I remember a few years back all the butthurt anger about Christopher Eccleston being replaced by Barty Crouch Junior. then when David Tennant did not want to go, people bitched and moaned about the Eyebrowless weirdo... Now, People don't want Matt Smith to leave and be replaced by this "ugly old fart"... Seriously, That phrase "Ugly old fart" was used as a reference to Mr. Capaldi.

Personally I find it refreshing that we're going back to an older looking Doctor. Soemthing along the lines of William Hartnell or Jon Pertwee... I want a crotchety old Doctor that can get the job done, cause I think it's time we slow down the Hyperactive Man-children Doctors... Now don't get me wrong; I like Matt Smith and David Tennant, but after seeing a few episodes of the Classic Doctor Who series; I yearn for a more Classic Doctor. Seems that Capaldi, may be the man to deliver.

I can't wait to see the Eleventh Regeneration... Oh #$%^! This means that after Capaldi, we only have one more regeneration... unless John Hurt's not sure if he counts as a regeneration, counts as a regeneration. If so then Capaldi is our last Doctor...

Before we start hating on Capaldi, let's see what he brings to the table!

Aug 6, 2013

MY EYES!! I Need Brain Bleach! (Equestria Girls Review)

I had to do some babysitting duty earlier today and you know what? I had a chance to watch a certain Pony Movie while Babysitting...
Come on! I know you want to make that joke... Hit it, Spike!

There, you happy now!? Let's move on to the review. I know I rambled about my fears about Equestria Girls. I must give a trigger warning! I may use some words that should not be repeated by kids... also, there will be spoilers... I shall not review this one as I'm watching it since the movie is not mine. Going off by Memory and a few notes.

We start with the Mane 6 going to The Crystal Empire. Twilight is unable to fly after doing it so well on the Season 3 Finale. So, they arrive and go to bed, when the plot really starts!! A Thief steals Twilight's crown and goes through a Mirror into a Parallel world, where only Twilight Sparkle can stop her... She is Sunset Shimmer: Better known as the Supreme Mega Bitch! and she needs the Element of magic for stuff... cause she's a Supreme Mega Bitch! and did I mention she's a bitch?

Well, the other world is the Human World. Twilight has to face High School... In a world where Everyman is a Human version of Everypony, except the small snafu that the Mane 5 are not friends... Want to guess why they are NOT Friends? The movie will tell you later... If you guessed this:

Then you either, saw the movie or are NOT a five year old girl. So Twilight begins befriending the mane 5...well the Human versions of the Mane 6 (counting Twilight)as she tries to win the fall formal, because Humanshy gave the crown that fell through the portal to Principal Celetia... Celestia is a Principal? Why am I thinking of this? In any case we get lots of references to the show and it's characters like Trrrrrrrrixie! or the CMC... Did I mention that Twilight lives like a hobo in the library. Also, Supreme Mega Bitch has Snips and Snails tailing Twilight and gathering evidence whenever she acts abnormally (like a Pony). So, Twilight helps the Mane 6 be friends and they try and help her win the crowd.Twilight is bound to lose the crown due to Supreme Mega Bitch using the Snips and snails videos.

Mandatory High School Musical Number... with Derpy Cameo!!
So Supreme Mega Bitch sends her lackeys Snips and Snails to destroy the gym and stop the Fall Formal (cause the Portal to Equestria will close in 3 days after Twilight went through it and this is Day 2...) By using Photoshop made easy for 5 year old girls, Sunset Shimmer cut and pasted pictures of Twilight Sparkle breaking the gym. Vice Principal Luna is shown the truth by...
FLASH!!! Ah! aaaah! Sentry. So Twilight and friends fix the gym by the power of a Musical Montage
Thus Twilight wins the crown and goes to the fall formal... but Supreme Mega Bitch will not give up so easily:
She steals the crown and then...
Sunset Shimmer is the freaking Devil!!
How in the Hell do you beat the FREAKING DEVIL!? Moon Prism Power!! MAKE UP!!
Then the Pony Senshi give Supreme Mega Bitch a Taste of the Rainbow...
Like this:

Then they Dance!

Twilight returns home and meets Ponyfied version of FLASH! AH!AAAHHH!
THE END!! Thank Celestia for that... the ending.
I kinda like it, but I think I'm leaning more to the side of DISliking it. I'm still hung up on the whole My Little Pony Movie needs to be about FREAKING PONIES!! Not Retreading The first Episodes of MLP but with humans and Fighting Satan... Some jokes were good, Music was OK, Voice Acting was on par with the show, decent amount of references... Not sure if Vending Machine was a reference to Sherclop's Sweetie Bot... speaking of Sherclop, I can't wait for Sherclop's take of Equestria Girls for Friendship is Witchcraft.

I have to say that if I were giving it a numerical rating in scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is trash and 10 is Excellent, I have to say a 3.5 The movie fell flat in many areas. It covered a lot of the High School movie cliches, it was incredibly predictable... even for a movie aimed at 5 year old girls. All my fears came true. Methinks that this project was a huge #$%^ You! at the bronies... Not to mention how it reeks of Marketing Department Birth.

With that said I'd totally love Ponies of Flash Sentry and Sunset Shimmer. Well at least I KNOW one of those is going to have a pony... Evil Demonic Bitch... Perfect toy for Little girls!!

Aug 5, 2013

Flinging Pop Corn at the Chu Joes...

Yes! I'm doing a movie review! (I know I owe a few Twi-views but I need to deal with the Joes now...) Tackling GI Joe Retaliation. WARNING!! there will be Spoi-Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalers!!
(Bad pun, I know but I had to put in a Serpentor Reference.

Movie starts with a small recap of the last movie. We get a quickie mission to let you know the new Joes. (Cause Scarlett, Ripcord, Heavy Duty, and Breaker are MIA) Flint is the team's Loose cannon. The Rock and Channing Tatum have a better chemistry than Marlon Wayans and Channing Tatum... I can't believe I'm saying this, but their Chemistry (Duke and Roadblock) makes Channing Tatum's Duke likable... and it makes me forget at times that I'm watching a movie with the Male Megan Fox. But that Mouse kid... I've seen him somewhere...

Duke sucks at videogames... and SURPRISE BEST PONY CAMEO!!

Channing Tatum being assaulted with a Pinkie Pie...
I had to get that out of the way. BTW, the kid attacking Mr. Tatum here looks a lot like Skai Jackson from Jessie...

So, there's some sort of mission to retrieve some nukes. President Zartan... yes, Zartan is still the POTUS and the US uses the GI Joes to retrieve the nukes...

Subplot about President Zartan interrogating the REAL POTUS about the whereabouts of Cobra Commander and The Ninth Doc Destro.

Wait a minute! Zartan was already in power when that happened!? What's going on!?

Back on the Trap set up by President Zartan... Duke is killed put in a coma... OK he's dead for reals... I did scream NOOOOOO! He's on a @#$%ing Coma!! Now, the Joes are framed for a crime they didn't commit!

Mr. Overrated Joe is arrested and sent into a jail in Germany... but...

A Wild Storm Shadow appears! Who ends up captured...
Huh!? What's this!? Fireflies!? Wait... Cobra's favorite Saboteur: Firefly uses Robotic Fireflies!? For real!? Storm Shadow has a Cardiac Arrest...

So Firefly's fireflies are nanobombs... Cute! His entrance on the other hand? BAD ASS!!
Storm Shadow, Firefly and Darth Vader escape as The Overrated one watches in silence. Oh yeah, The Destro was left behind... We get Cobra Commander revealed and he looks like Cobra Commander should look!

We get our first glimpse at Jinx and the Blindmaster. Also we get a Miley Cyrus reference... First Ponies, Duke dies, then a Miley Reference... Did I write this movie?
So the Rock is setting up a new Joe HQ... to avenge Duke or something. Nerdy Jaye discovers that the President is a fake and we're set up to meet THE Joe Himself... Joseph Colton
We get a case of raining Ninja... in anticipation of Snake Eyes vs Storm Shadow 2 followed by the Rappelling ninja scene from the trailer...

Back to the Rockblock. They try to get proof on the Fake President and attempt to assassinate him if necessary. They fail on the assassination, but now they know it's Zartan. We get some Firefly action and we return to Mr. Overrated where he's on Storm Shadow's Ninja Trial...

In the Arashikage Justice System the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The Ninja who investigate crime and the Ninja who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.
doink! doink!
So, Storm Shadow puts 1 and 1 together and Discovers that Zartan killed the Hardmaster... Now he helps the Joes, cause Revenge on Imhotep... Holy crap! I just realized that The Rock and Arnold Volsloo are in this movie...
I think I just Haku Machente'd my brains!
So, the Joes reunite with their living Comrades and Storm Shadow who warns them about the summit... His exact words are

One thing that's bugging me about this movie... No one has said it at all...

Where's the YO JOE!!! in here!? That's their Battle cry! Noooo! Instead we get the Hoo-ah! Which is OK for the real world armed forces, not GI Joe!

So the Joes go for the final showdown (until the Sequel) Flint and Snake Eyes do the quiet Infiltration thing, Joe and Jaye doe some nice driving and shooting. The Rock, blows Hiss tanks and Storm Shadow gets Ninja Justice.
The Rock saves the day... Which should be obvious because the Joes are supposed to win and The Rock is playing the main character.

I purposely left out the details of the plot.

Now where do I start to review this? It felt MORE Like a GI Joe movie than the Rise of Cobra. It had a couple of plotholes and leaping gaps in logic. So if Cobra Commander was imprisoned all along, why is he the leader and how did he come up with a plan, execute it WHILE he was in that Underground cell? The plot while crazy, it made a bit more sense than the Nanomite plot from the previous movie. Something felt off... but not in a good way. I can blame the flaws of the story on the writers. for a self proclaimed Joe fan it had some more Joe-esque stuff than the first movie, but I cannot forgive the lack of Yo Joe!

The Movie is OK (Way better than Transformers Revenge of the Fallen... I will not see that movie ever again, not even if you pay me!!) but did not blow me away. I must admit that the Ninja Scenes were beautiful, but I'm having my doubts on Chu as a director to tackle MOTU...

Aug 4, 2013

It's THAT Time Again... Are you Ready?

For the most Amazing week ever!?

YEAH BABY! It's SHARK WEEK!! I suppose you may have guessed it by the Jaws theme or by me screaming Shark Week!!

OK, What the @#$%!? Now as messed up as that was, it's a lot better than those overused Air Jaws, More Air Jaws, Still more Air Jaws, Seriously we are just splicing clips from the previous jumping great white documentaries Air Jaws, Air Jaws: the Electric Boogaloo! Reruns of Didrty Jobs Shark Week, the Mythbusters Jaws specials... Now we have a new Member to the Shark Week Family: Megalodon... Kinda like those Chasing Bigfoots but with Megalodon...

At this rate I almost expect to see the following on Discovery

I'm trying to sound excited about it, but there's so much that can be done with sharks before we reach Sharknado levels...

Aug 3, 2013

She who Musn't be Named Finally touches Super Princess Peach

And as expected, she went for the obvious PMS induced powers... Not to mention that she uses games that were made AFTER SPP to take a jab at her damsel role. Cause let's face it, Peach IS the Quintessential Damsel in Distress. She then goes on a Buffy rant... She's a Buffy fan and she references BTVS a lot. As always this allows her to go on a tangent and show clips of Girl Power stuff like the Spice Girls. Of course she will go out of her way to downplay the male damsels by saying that the male damsels are a joke on the whole Damsel thing or... THE PATRIARCHY!! Ah yes, The Patriarchy I guess we could define it as:

To begin with, we're not what you'd call "human." Over the past 200 years, a consciousness appeared layer by layer at the crucible of the White House. It's not unlike life started in the oceans four billion years ago. The White House was our primordial soup, a base of evolution. We are formless. We are the very discipline and morality that Americans invoke so often. How can anyone hope to eliminate us? As long as this nation exists, so will we.

The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo... the "shadowy government that is keeping those with internal reproductive organs down for thousands of years"!! Kinda like the Illuminati. That's her scapegoat. That's what bugs me.  Yes, there might be some sexist jerks in positions of power, but it's not like every male in the world are part of this "Shadow Govermnment" and have meetings where they twirl their mustaches and talk how they keep the women down

I know I mentioned it earlier, but she loves to downplay the males' roles on games. Part One of her Damsel Rant: She talks about Dinosaur Planet and Krystal turned from playable character to Damsel... How the Patriarchy and that Evil Miyamoto man knocked Krystal out of her starring role...
Dinosaur Planet was meant to have a MALE Playable Character as well...

HE Lost his role in the story and was replaced by Fox!! Sadly, that's not important to her.

On the third video she mentions this game called Spelunky. The Remake of that game allows you to change the Damsels to Men or Dogs, not just women... SHE COMPLAINS because you can change the woman to a Dog... and she keeps on downplaying the Male Damsels, because they're not women.

Of course she proceeds to whine about indie and tablet games relying on the trope... Cause sexisim... It has nothing to do that the rescue a weaker individual is one of the most basic storylines of all time and requires VERY LITTLE Explanation. If the kidnapee is a woman, it's bad cause it's sexist. If the victim is male, it's bad because it's Equal Opportunity kidnapping. What do you want!? A game where Peach escapes Bowser!?
Yes, and she dresses her like a man...

And here's the thing: On the game idea she proposes, the Princess must dress like a man, use disguises to fight her way through the levels. Why must she wear disguises and pretend to be something she is not!?

If a female is disempowered and needs to be saved: she's a damsel. But now she says that Female characters needing help is Normal and OK!? but only if she's the playable character... or only when You-Know-Who says it's OK.

Basically all it boils down is that these videos are $160,000-ish rants because Game companies are not making the games that SHE WANTS.

Now let's see if she tackles the blatantly sexist DOA Games on the Fighting @#$% Toy...
I guess we'll find out in two months!

Aug 2, 2013

Really Miley? *Facepalm*

Oh Miley! I REALLY want to keep liking you, but you're becoming a little mess of uh... something unlikable... Like a Female Justin Bieber! Now she says that the only person who gets her is Britney Spears...

Not to mention the whole irresponsible driving while texting or riding with her kids without the proper protection for them (car seats, etc.)

That's a great role model/kindred spirit you got there, Miley... At least you dodged the pregnancy thing...

Then again, if the Paparazzi aren't following her, she basically does their job via Twitter... Thank goodness that Sholin whacko Britney was in a pre-Tweet everything world.

Gets famous for a show about a pop star who has a non-famous alter ego to have a semblance of a normal life; doesn't understand that fame and a normal life rarely mix...



I guess I'd have to buy a new Hannah doll to NuMilefy it into Nu Miley and re-do this...
but I don't want to butcher a Hannah Montana doll for that...

Aug 1, 2013

Clamp Champ is a Murderer

We saw the Mini Comic where Duncan was Murdered in Cold Blood by Clamp Champ.

Alright, now that I have my theme music we can begin.

First let us look at the basic info. The defendant was struggling with the victim. He then stabbed the Victim with his Capture Claw.

He-Man volunteered himself for this experiment by wearing a spare Armor from Duncan. Strobo used the Actual Capture Claw that the Accused had at the moment of the Murder.

Something doesn't add up here... The Capture Claw is blunt at the front end, EVEN when the claws are in their clamping position. The Prosecution's evidence is a LIE!! TAKE THAT!!

Clamp Champ is innocent. The real Criminal is... ♠

Seriously, why couldn't Duncan retire from the active role of General and live a quiet life until he kicked the bucket Naturally... without any Clamp induced death... I glanced over the stupid deaths on the Neitlichverse comics before, but the Clamp Champ figure PROVES Clamp Champ's innocence!