Mattel, I'm not saying you should do this:

 But you should totally do this:

I know it's cursed AI imagery but think about it. The Turtles, Splinter, Casey, the punk frogs, the foot, shredder, Slash (as Dabi), Rocksteady, Bebop, Karai (as Toga) 

The real question is: April as:

• Midnight 
• Mt Lady 
• Mirko

Super7 blew it: the final TMNT wave is ass

Limited to 1000 figures... seems like they knew it wouldn't fly.

At $260... keep them... sure the bo twirl and sword slashes are cool but Mikey got shafted. Thanks Mattel, Thanks Super7.

Will they sell, that is the question.

What if Mattel were to do Playmates designs for TMNT?

 Remember how Mattel won against Don Glut?

What if Mattel could use the argument that Playmates was doing work under license for Mirage and that allows Mattel to access the OG Library?

Would be sweet... so let's take 10 characters and 5 vehicles... because Playsets I trust Mattel a bit more. Making them compatible for 5.5 and 6.5 scales... essentially making them for 6.5 and selling them for 5.5 scale. Also, these would be "new Eternia styled" reimaginings for TMNT.

Basically a new design but with enough parts that can be swapped/removed to make Playmates looking toys.

Figures:

Pizzaface

Halfcourt

King Lionheart

Scaletail

April the Ravishing Reporter

Irma

Burne

Vernon

Walkabout

Chrome Dome 

Vehicles:

Party Wagon

Foot Cruiser

Ninja Newscycle

Turtle Tenderizer

Turtle Cycle

While I want the Footski and maybe a Technodrome scout vehicle, I'm going with those first because it keeps the fight grounded.

But I hope that for NYTF Mattel will show TMNT stuff.

Vulvana progress: it's been a hassle

 The horns didn't want to attach properly.

Got the earrings and the ribbon... fuck me it's  a pain in the ass. I may have to drill more holes on the head to glue the earrings and ribbon.

Now I know why I don't normally do customs. I need to buy some color change paint for the horns...

Updating Pizzaface: a Rant

 I am stumped on how to drill the soft head I got for Vulvana to attach the horns I got. So, I decided to work on Pizzaface Jr. 

Dyed the hat with Sharpies then used elmers glue to somewhat seal the hat shape. I also painted the Pizzaface shield I got a few months back. All I'm missing is the Pizzas, but thanks to Tariff-Man now I have to wait until USPS bills me the tariffs, since the Spray-tanned occupant of the White House had the under $800 exemption removed. So for 2 toy Pizzas that I paid $26 with shipping and taxes included, now I have to pay a mysterious amount that may be closer to an additional $26... no wonder many sellers have USA and territories blocked from sales.

Well... Teeny Tinies...  has made a pair of TMNT sets.

I ordered this one as I couldn't find it locally. Depending on how good it is, I may get a second one... or order the other one that includes a retro TV, a Boombox, and a LCD Portable game that is reminiscent of the TMNT LCD game by Konami. It also includes some crappy stuff like 2 useless skateboards, a Mutant Mayhem van... I wish I can find that set locally but the only place I've seem Teeny tinies is Walgreens and they only have Shark Cutlery, Christmas, and 90s inspired school lunch sets.

TMNT and Vehicles: A Mattel Rant

 I truly hope we get some for the "adult collector Chronicle/WWE scale" line. That way those of us who have slambulances, lucha low riders, slammobiles and slamcycles can still use them. Also, I wonder if havig the Master License allows Mattel access to work done by Playmates under contract to Mirage...

Turtle Van/Party Wagon:

Let us start with the obvious one: The van.

I mean it's a yelpow and green van... add some play features and call it a day.

Villain vehicle:

Depending on what they're going here, they have plenty of stuff to choose from. While I'd like a Foot Cruiser-like vehicle, I'd be open for something different. Like a Rocksteady themed Jeep styled vehicle. A Bebop SUV... not the Toitle Tenderizer...

Casey Vehicle:

The options are limited: Realistically, a Bike for Vigilante mode Casey and a Beater pick-up Truck for non-vigilante Casey.

Or if Mattel wants to be fancy, give him an older muscle car.

April Vehicle:

Here, the options depend on which direction they go with their continuity. Whether it's a News van for the Fred Wolfverse inspired, or a normal vehicle for other continuities, it's up to them.

Cheapskates:

These should be sold at a cheaper price, maybe pack them with character specific accessory packs.

If we are getting Fred Wolfverse characters, then:

Footski:

Mainly because Rat King.

Transport Module:

Both modes: 

The smaller Elevator kind and the larger tank kind.

Look at the old games for ideas... and even MOTU/Max Steel and other Mattel lines to copy...

Mattel and TMNT accessories and Miscellaneous: A rant:

 Mattel can be a bit lazy and cut corners like crazy... New Chronicles King Hiss is an example:

$33 and he doesn't come with his snake staff and they went beyond lazy with his snake body:

His Snake Body now uses a crappier version of Ssssqueeze's gimmick.

Weapons Packs you dumb fucks!! Give us that!!

Which brings us to TMNT:

With Mattel being the mega misers with Accesories, The "Chronicles Type figures would be like:

Leonardo:

Alt head, alt hands 2 ninjato

Donatello: 

Alt head, alt hands, bo

Splinter:

Alt head, alt hands, cane

Shredder:

Oroku Saki head, alt hands, maybe ninjato.

Casey Jones:

Alt head, alt hands, golf bag and golf club.

Weapons packs ya' dumb fucks! 

Reusing the turtle weapons in Foot Clan colors helps arm the foot ninja, generic bats chains and other melee weapons "more suitable for wrestling" could be used for Casey or certain Gang oriented characters, like Rocksteady and Bebop.

Problem is that Mattel hasn't done accessory packs in ages... they should get to that. But they should... and bring more Ooze... in classic green and retro toon purple. 

A Diorama Playset consisting of a back wall and base with a cpuple of accessories can be a way to bring weapons packs without weapons packs.

Mattel's TMNT seem to be waiting on Mutant Mayhem 2

 Which is delayed to August 2027. If this is true, then it sucks. Not only because the Mutant Mayhem designs suck, but that means 3 quarters without TMNT product.

I'm hoping for a Masterverse or Chronicles styled line for TMNT and not just MM2...

Because seriously, if we miss 2 Qs of TMNT Merch that we could've gotten from NECA and Super7...

Remember what Mattel took from us...

Another "New Mutants" for TMNT rant

 I have been stuck in a rut lately, hence my delay on posting rants. So let's make more mutants...

Zavannah:

Female Zebra wearing a park ranger outfit (Like Steve Irwin) with weaponry to stop poachers.(gun, rifle, stun rod, wrangling pole)

Stanky Leg:

A mutant skunk with a robotic peg leg. He's wearing clothes reminiscent of Randy Savage... the tiedye tanktop look.

The tail should work as an alternate leg for display. For accessories Interchangeable peg legs a la trap jaw. Also, figure should stink like patchouli 

Pollock:

A large Mutated tortoise whose shell is a mess of paint splotches like a Jackson Pollock paint. Wearing a mawashi a removable wig made like a sumo topknot.

For accessories Tonfa. A hand that is throwing salt and a bowl of chankonabe.

Space Worm:

Mirage's worm colony that made the clone Shredder possible... essentially a Modulok type character entirely made out of tiny worms. Thw idea is that you can combine multiples to enlarge the size of the legion. (Technically a new character based on an existing concept)

Bathory:

A Female Punk Frog. Wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a bikini top and shorts. For accessories a stiletto knife.

Trueno the Panda:

A Panda Masked Wrestler that moonlights as a chinese food delivery bear. Picture a bearded Panda in a red and blue masked Luchador outfit

Alternate unmasked head. Delivery backpack.

It's a reference to Jack Black and Initial D. 

For weapon a steel chair.

If Mattel does Playsets for TMNT... a rant:

First we need to determine what iteration are they doing.

If Mattel plays it smart makes it fit both scales... the kids "origins" scale and the adult 6.5" scale. 

Kinda like they did with some origins playsets.

 Depending on what continuity they're going for the playsets would vary.

 Assuming Mirage:

Sewer Lair 1,TCRI building, 2nd time around, Foot compound, Farmhouse.

Assuming Fred Wolf insipired:

Sewer Lair, Inside the Technodrome, Channel 6, Rat King's domain (repaint of the lair with different accessories)

In addition, I'd add mini playsets.

Like this, but a more TMNT esque thing...

Mattel was silent about TMNT at SDCC:

 Wonder what they're cooking... so let's rant:

Turtles, Splinter, Shredder, Foot Clan, April, Casey... we know they're coming. Maybe Rocksteady, Bebop, and Krang.

I'm hoping the figures are WWE Scale. I'm hoping for a MOTUC approach to the line... All Universes under one cohesive style.

By that I mean the Humans looking somewhat realistic. Where Chris Bradford, Tatsu, 87 Baxter, and Hun can stand next to each other and look like they belong to the same line. Just as 200X, NA, 87 Live Action Movie, Filmation, and Vintage toy looks fit cohesively in MOTUC.

For example:

Mirage Casey is muscular but Average built.

2003 Casey is more Muscular than Mirage Casey, but not the angular features.

2012 Casey is smaller as he's a teen.

With Mutants you can get away with some of the proportions...

Let's say Leonardo:

Mirage Leo is somewhat similar to 87 Leo, but the forearms and shins are bigger for the Mirage proportions.

1990 Movie and 2003 could be similarly sized, but 2003 is more Muscular. Both beint taller than mirage and 1987.

2012 would be slightly smaller than 87 but similarly proportions to Mirage.

MM turtles would be the smallest ones.

I mention multiple versions of "core characters" because TMNT has a multiverse and Mattel needs an excuse to do the same 12 characters again and again.

I may have nad news regarding TMNT

 Straight out of pixel Dan.He talked with Trevor from NECA and TMNT is done.

The final figure will be Tempestra from the cartoon episode and Shredder's Revenge.

But this means that Super7 will not have a wave 4 of 2k3 TMNT unless they do preorders in November to squeeze them in before Mattel whips their Master License dick...

Guess that means the Jumpsuit Judith Hoag April is canned as well as the Henson styled Rocksteady and Bebop. No 2012 April either.

Also, did Mattel show any TMNT Stuff?

Random musings:

 I had a craving for peach cobbler, but I was too lazy to go to a supermarket to get the stuff... So, I began googling easy Peach Cobbler recipes. Easy my ass... they all require baking and shit... started watching Paula Deen and ended up in something called Trad Wife movement... Basically women who dress up like they're going to a gala and cook everything from scratch... fuck that shit... 

This parody catches the absurdity of the real thing perfectly.

I've no time to make bread, grind my meat, make my ketchup, mayo, mustard, cheese. I want my burger ASAP... I don't want to wait hours for the yeast to bloom and to fart all over the dough. I don't have time to wait for cheese to curdle. That's why I buy pre-packaged stuff... convenience!

Also, DRESS NORMALLY! I don't want microplastics from the beads and sequins. Nor faux fur in my alfredo sauce. Especially when my FwB is a person with culinary impairment. So I went to a convenience store and bought 2 small cans of Del Monte peaches, a glazed honey bun... they didn't have cinnamon rolls. Last but not least a hägen daz scoop of vanilla. Tore the honey bun into pieces. Mixed in the peaches, the honey bun, the syrup and pumpkin spice mix. Popped it in the microwave for 2 minutes. Popped the little ice cream tub. Was it better than an actual cobbler with fresh peaches and actual crumble? HELL NO! But it took care of my craving. 

But seriously what the hell!? The whole thing reeeks of bored rich people pretending to rough it out like the poors. Not calling this channel specifically, but it's an example of the whole performative homesteading.

I'm glad people are mocking the ridiculousness of the Tradwife influencers. Seriously, a high end executive salary is needed (about $200K+). Most of the people who are into that lifestyle work blue collar jobs and can't afford the tradlife.

First close up I've seen of the TMNT/GI Joe mash up April...

Pros: Looks like a grown 2012 April.

Cons: Looks like a grown 2012 April specifically April derp.

If Super7 got 3¼ more waves for Vintage TMNT:

 With Mattel taking over the license we don't know if they'll be massive cunts and cockblock everyone else or if they'll share... (they shated MOTU with Mondo and their 200X is a direct competition to their 200X line) So let's pretend we get 3 more waves and a Krang Android body (Transformed Mon*Star sized) and 3 Accessory packs)

Here come the Villains Wave:

Groundchuck

Dirtbag

Chromedome (GITD off-wave redeco)

Traag with extra Granitor head

Here come the Heroes Wave:

Napoleon Bonafrong (off-wave Attila redeco with alternative accessories)

Fugitoid

Mona Lisa

Merdude

Here come the Variants:

Don the Undercover Turtle (with soft goods trenchcoat) with both the accessories of the Undercover turtle and undercover Don.)

Glam Rock Raph (Heavy Metal Raph with a different name)

Anchorwoman April (April the ravishing reporter minus "real hair" instead she gets sculpted hairdos based on Judith Hoag and Paige Turco)

Manhattan Bebop (based on the Wacky Action and TMNT3 Manhattan Project)

Krang's Android Body:

The "in scale" version that cane with a smaller krang and smaller bubble walker.

Accessory packs:

These should be LESS than a Figure:

Wacky Action Pack:

It includes Accessories from the Wacky Action Turtles:

Sword whip and mace for Leonardo

Scuba jet and spear for Don

Spinning Trash shield, adapter to plug on back, rat bolas, Foot bashing stars

Sewer shield, snakes, sansetsukon for Mikey

A single Mouser.

Rocksteady's sewer cover a pie, a bazooka, and a boombox.

Bebop's Trashcan, a Payphone, a throwable  Pizza, a slingshot

A stop foot sign shield a throwable sewer cover, a military flashlight, a plunger.

Role Play Pack:

Leo Sewer Force Sword

Leo Bubble Sword

Don Sewer Squirter

Raph pizza sai 

Raph shell shield

Mike Bugchaku

Mike sewer shield

Raph Shredder head

Raph Shredder shoulder pads

Raph Shredder forearm pads

Raph Shredder shinguards

Raph Shredder Sai

Head Pack:

Self explanatory:

Oroku Saki Head

Hamato Yoshi head (to use on Shredder body)

Mirage Leo

Mirage Don

Mirage Mike

Maskless Casey

Toon April head for Ninja April

April II head for normal April

Tokka-like head for GITD Slash

If we can squeeze in 2 more figures:

Repaint Genghis with new accessories fir Rasputin and Pizzaface.

To dream...

What the actual fuck is this

 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles caskets.

Now picture that but with this music

Nah fam, cremate me.

The TMNT × GI JOE

 Sunday release: about 18 for the figures and vehicles more expensive. They look OK, but are a smidge too expensive for toys that are their own scale, which puts them away from most displays. 

Don't get Me wrong The figures look nice, but for $18, I'm not feeling them

 If they were 15.Now that will be a different story.

Seems Playmates is trying to fuck tmnt fans over... again.

 Even after they lost the license. They hired a lawfirm to cockblock Mattel from using the characters Playmates designed... under contract by Mirage, at the time.

Will this be a repeat of the Don Glut v Mattel thing? Paramount has bigger pockets, Mattel has precedent... 

I understand Playmates Role, but this looks bad on them.

Top most wanted from most TMNT iterations

 For the Mattel line of course: Fiting the style of the normal Adult collector line. Think the Classcizer.

By iteration I mean:

Mirage

80s toon

80s games

90s movies

Next mutation

2003 toon

2009 CGI movie

2012 toon

Bay movies

Rise of the TMNT

IDW

Shredder's Revenge

Other

Each category will have a maximum of 10 slots.

The actual Turtles are excluded unless it's a variant (ie Nightwatcher, Last Ronin)

Mirage: 

Renet

Savanti Romero

Shadow Jones teen

Shadow Jones alternate timeline

Leatherhead

Metalhead (JF)

Zippy Lad (JF)

Chote

Triceraton

Tang Shen

80s toyline:

Pizzaface 

Groundchuck

Dirtbag

Chrome Dome

Napoleon Bonafrog

Genghis frog

Vernon

Scaletail

Wyrm

Hothead

80s toon:

Carter

Dregg

Rasputin the Mad frog

Attilla the frog

Lotus

Zack

Caitlin

Smash

Burne

Red Sky April

80s games:

Sissypus

Aska

Tora

Granitor

Chainsaw Maniac

Firefreak

TF April

Chrome Dome's girlfriend

Armaggon

Human Baxter in pod

90s movies:

Keno

Perry

April Hoag

April Turco

Tatsu

Tokka

Rahzar

Vanilla Ice

Walker

Mitsu

Next Mutation:

Venus

Dragon Lord

Silver

Bonesteel

Vam Mi

Elite Guard

Rank Soldier

Shredder

2003 toon:

Chaplin

Karaibots 

Usagi

Fugitoid

Bishop

Silver sentry

Doctor dome

Ananda with domeoids

Mutated Hun

Stainless steve steel

2009 CGI movie:

Nightwatcher

Winters 

Vampire Succubor

General Aguila

General Mono

General Gato

General Serpiente

Karai

Bigfoot

Sloth Monster 

2012:

Fishface

Dogpound

Chrome dome (bradford alt head as a nod to dark ninja)

Snakeweed

April

The Pulverizer

Mrs. O'Neil 

Mom-Thing

Karai

Tiger Claw

Bay movies

April

Vernon

Burne

Baxter

Sachs

Mecha Shredder

Casey

Krang

Rocksteady 

Bebop

Rise:

Lou Jitsu

Meat Sweats

Draxum

Cassandra Jones

April

Sunita (slime form)

Big Mama's Assistant (unnamed female turtle)

Repo Mantis

Hypnopotamus

Albearto

IDW:

Jennika human

Jennika turtle

Hob

Herman

Null

Sally

Nobody

Alopex

Lindsey (BW)

Stone (thermochromic plastic for his exposed flesh.)

Shredder's Revenge:

Ninjara

Irma

Traag

Zorax

Tempestra

Halfcourt

Mona Lisa

Antrax

Roadkill Rodneys

Pizza Monster

Other:

Jagwar

Dreadmon

Gaiden Irma

Gaiden April

Mutant Mayhem April

Turbo Cammy

Mutant Turtles: Choujin Densetsu-hen Shredder.

Mutant Turtles: Choujin Densetsu-hen April (can come with Kris Mu. Also April must be flat.)

Coming out of their shells April

April O'Neill, the pornstar cosplaying as April O'Neil 

Arcade cabinet April.

TMNT Accessory packs: Don't sleep on this Mattel...

 Let's be honest here. Mattel is stingy with accessories. So, accessory packs are the solution:

They used to do them with He-Man, WWE, Big Jim, Barbie... you get the idea. Well they still do with Barbie. So... 

Accessory packs. We can start with the obvious stuff:

Generic ninja weaponry that can be used by turtles and foot.

Recolors of the Turtle weapons. That's 7 easy items. Add multiple kunai and shuriken. Now we have 15 items for the most basic pack.

We can have a Pizza pack with various pizza slices that form whole pizzas, whole pizzas, half pizzas, various pizza boxes (made of plastic or cardboard) bitten slices. (Obviously for Mikey)

Junk-tech pack: 

Basically gimmicky gadgets and weapons made by Donatello. Spare Turtle communicators would be here. The Cheapskate (not the gigantic Playmates abomination, but a normal sized skateboard with a small engine)

4 sets minimum per customer guaranteed purchase just to have cheapskates for the 4 turtles.

Foot Armory:

If they go with the robotic foot soldiers, the earlier generic ninja weapons pack helps, but this gives us extra weapons from Dimension X  to use. Generic blasters, high tech ninja weapons to distinguish the foot from the turtles weaponry... evil communicators... etc. 

Mousers:

Playmates did it, NECA did it, Super7 did it...

It's obvious... also Roadkill Rodneys are a popular pack idea.

There are plenty of packs that can be made, like a premutation animal pack with said animals and ooze. A sewer marauder pack including stuff for Rat King (namely rats) and other sewer dwellers like Muckman...  the point is that Mattwl should look into it.

Making Vulvana: a TMNT custom rant

 Pizzaface Jr has gotten me thinking that I can customize. Sewing soft goods resculpting 40% of a head amputating figures and giving them action features. 

I got thinking what character could I make that I know it won't get made by Mattel, or anyone else tackling TMNT? The only 2 answers I could come up with were Hitler and Vulvana. By the title alone, you already guessed who I am making. I can just borrow a Super7 figure to make Hitler.

Vulvana is a challenge. Technically I'd need a 1/6 red female body. To be closer to canonical height... but they don't make those... and with $18 bucks in my pocket... and feeling lazy as fuck, I went to my usual body parts supplier.

Figures Toy Company... i may be taking a gamble here because some of their older stuff doesn't have the better quality that the new work product has... but $18 for this:

In order to make this:

All I'll need is to either locate 2 horns or sculpt them, get some thin gold or yellow ribbon and Bob's your uncle.

It's MEGO sized, which puts her slightly taller than ultimates but  lose to proper scale for the Origins scale for Mattel.

The real question is: should I sculpt nipples and Vulva for Vulvana?