Aug 29, 2023

Hey what the!? A Boner Spider?

 Yes, you read that right: There is a spider that can give you long lasting erections as a side effect. There's pain and risk of death but, 

For once this thing is not from Australia. It's the Brazilian Wandering Spider. It is also known as the Banana Spider,  not because of its erectile powers, but for enjoying bananas as a hiding place. The reason this spider made the news was it ended up in a Supermarket outside of Vienna.

This panic forced the supermarket to be shut down until they could find the spider...

Well, that spider explains this:

Mr. Stark, I feel so good!!

What the Hell, Wal-Mart!? How can a Preorder be out of stock!?

 Especially if the item is a Wal-Mart exclusive!? How can this happen!? I have no idea but it happened to me. I preordered waay back in March, the WWE Wrekkin Monster truck with Stone Cold Steve Austin, which was exclusive to Wal-Mart. 

Got a text from Wal-Mart saying my order was canceled and that I should TRY to pick up locally AT THE WAL-MART I WAS 35 MINUTES AGO AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE IT EITHER... I mean they have the shelf space for it but none available for sale. So not only Wal-Mart is prioritizing non-preorders but they don't even have stock for their stores either...

What's the point of having retailer exclusive items if the retailer doesn't even have enough stock to fulfill preorders!? I know this technically isn't a Mattel thing, since it happened to me with the Wal-Mart exclusive Jason Todd, which is a McFarlane toy. So, it's a Wal-Mart thing... DO BETTER, WAL-MART!! Now I'll have to get scalped or hope that I can find the non-Austin version at a reasonable price. 

Looks like I won't have a custom Toitle Tenderizer for now. Is it a good thing? I dunno. All I know is that if I preorder a store exclusive is BECAUSE I WANT THE ITEM and I'm making the effort of supporting the store selling it. Now my money is on-hold for 10 days and I won't be able to get my item. So I can't get it from Wal-Mart or anyone else until I get my money back from Wal-Mart.

It came from the Toy Chest: Mr. Sullivan, I don't feel so good

 By the title alone, you should deduce that the figure I'm reviewing is based on the games with Male Lara Croft, aka UNCHARTED, specifically the live action adaptation with Tom Holland as Nathan Drake. 

Drake: Mr. Sullivan, I don't feel so good...
I feel like I'm trapped in a box.

So, Nathan Drake: claims to be related to Francis... yes, that Sir Francis Drake. He was a street rat that becomes a treasure hunter when "recruited" by Victor Sullivan.

Drake: Finally, a nice quiet place to read my book... nothing says quiet like the middle of Guatemalan jungle...

Theoretically speaking, he has a decent amount of articulation. Now, many folks have reported stuck joints that break, arms that fall off the bicep. So be careful and apply the NECA treatment before displaying.
Now MY figure, well elbow joints are stuck and gummy. Left arm pops off at the bicep. Waist twist stuck. Arms cannot be put in T pose. Legs are barely poseable.
Drake: Me and my big mouth!
Now this place is crawling with Mercenaries looking for Magellan's treasure, just like the book I conveniently decided to read in the middle of the Jungle. This is like in that really old movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark...

Paint and sculpt
The paintwork is for the most part good. There are some slight areas where it could've been a bit better, but since I got it heavily discounted on Entertainment Earth (not sponsored) I don't mind much. Had I paid full price, I'd be pissed.

The body sculpt is pretty good, but the face bugs me. It doesn't look as Tom Holland-ish as I hoped. It kinda looks like his stunt double.
Drake: Ooh! Convenient treasure that wasn't here before... let me crouch to gr... Oh my back! My back!

2 relics
4 extra hands
Puny gun... yes it's removable.
I feel like he's missing something... (alternate head) but seriously I feel like he needed something more.
Mercenario: No se muevan Gringos...
Drake: Hey, where did she come from?
April: I am April O'Neil a Reporter-a day Television...
Drake: Your Spanish sucks...
April: It's better than your American accent, Iron Lad...
Drake: What?
Mercenario: Callense gringos.
April: Elle no is greengo. Elle is English. Yo soy greengo.
Drake: It's gringa, you ginger banana.
April: Ell, KC Undercover sucks and Bella Thorne was the best part of Shake it Up!
Drake: (English accent) You take that back!
April: Ha! I KNEW IT! HEY!  HEY! YOU! Cabronis!
Mercenario: Que dijiste, gringa?
Holland: Mr. Mercenary, I-I don't feel so good...
Mercenario: Que? No mames... 
Holland: I don't want to go... Mr. Stark...
Mercenario: La puta madre, Muchachos, tenemos al Piter Parker del emsiu... Oye, estas hecho mierda, parece que Zendaya te ha agotado peor que JLO a Ben Affleck
Mercenario 2: El espaiderman de la tia may deliciosa?
Holland: Yes, that's me.
4 mysterious voices: COWABUNGA!!!
April: About time!
Holland: Oh, you're THAT April O'Neil... Here I thought you were the other one...
April: What other April O'Neil...
Nefty VO: Don't google that at work!

Drake gets a 3.5 as his final score. It's decent, not great, which encapsulates the problem with this figure. For a Diamond Select figure, this is a bit disappointing. Stupid left arm! Stupid lack of posability... stupid 

Aug 28, 2023

Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons: First thoughts

 These two Zelda games had eluded me for years... to be honest I've played most of the Home console Zelda games, it's the portable ones that I've had a few issues with. I didn't have a Gameboy Color, so that era is mostly lost for me. Now with Nintendo Switch Online's Official Gameboy Emulator, I'm able to play these two games. 

I'm an idiot and I'm playing them both simultaneously so I won't be able to fully do a review right now. Once I beat both games and unlock the secret ending that you get by linking both games, I will do the official review. If I can figure out how to do it on the Nintendo switch. I  think that on the Game Boy game version you needed two Gameboy colors and a Link cable with both games. Kind of how you could trade Pokemon in well Pokemon. Not sure on thwar

So, Link gets sent to two far away lands where he must save an oracle from a villain:
In Oracle of Seasons, Link ends up in Holodrum, must save Din, the Oracle of Seasons from the Evil Onox.
In Oracle of Ages, Link ends up in Labrynna  must save Naryu, the Oracle of Ages, from the Evil Veran... 

It's essentially the same game but it's not. There was a Third one, Oracle of Secrets, but it got scrapped for making the linking all 3 games too complicated... maybe it's time for a remake of these two and complete the Trilogy for the switch or its sequel?
But as I was saying, the plot is eerily similar, the world is eerily similar and the gimmicls are eerily similar. It reuses a lot of assets from Link's Awakening.

The main differences lie in the world... while SIMILAR, they're not IDENTICAL. In Seasons, you dick around with Mother Nature. In Ages, you Marty McFly the hell out of Labrynna as if you had an Ocarina of Time. The other main difference is Gameplay's focus. Both games are essentially a 2D Legend of Zelda, BUT Seasons is the more combat oriented (and easier one) I've beaten all 8 dunegeons and I'm prepping for the final battle. Meanwhile Ages is more Puzzle based and therefore harder... Between the Goron Dances and the Restoring split crap minigames, fuck this game, dayo

Now here comes the odd part... technically speaking, the games are superior to Link's Awakening, but they FEEL too derivative and inferior to Link's Awakening. Now I mustn't be too hasty in judging until I get the ending...
Wait, Oracle of Ages has this:
OK, that's enough reason to hate this game...

Aug 26, 2023

Another TMNT Ultimates rant: characters and scale... among other stuff

 I recently posted a shot stating that Krang's Android Body would need to be bigger than Mon*Star.

Since Krang minus tentacles looks a bit too big for the Mon*Star body. But I remembered something: the wave 5 Krang is not truly to scale. As Krang should be about the size of a Basketball and the figure is much larger to fit with Playmates scale.
Using the Super7 Slam Dunk Don figure, I got this:
Rough size comparison:
Obviously, the Krang outside the walker is the resized one
If we reduce Krang to the size of  Donatello's Basketball, he could fit a bit better in the Mon*Star body, and be in scale with the characters. That would still make the Android Body a $100 item because we'd need the Body, the smaller Krang, with a smaller Bubble walker. OR option B would be making a larger than Mon*Star body to fit the Beachball sized wave 5 Krang that would be out of scale with the other characters, like the vintage 11" Android Body. 

In Krang's Android Body, Articulation should be limited to the head and limbs. His torso should have the least Articulation possible in order to avoid possible breakages. If we go for the w5 Krang compatible Android Body, then he should get SPECIAL tentacles to use within it. Mainly because the Vintage KAB needed to be extra wide to fit Krang's tentacles. We're teying to keep him close to scale as possible and as he is, he needs to be wider than Mon*Star. The accessories will make or break the figure, metaphorically speaking. I guess the AB getting an alternate head that can get plug in electric blasts from the glasses, reference to TMNT TiT.
Alternate hands based on toon and game weapons... especially since we can't look at Playmates for inspiration. Obviously, Super7 doesn't want to step on NECA's toes and they're playong ball with Playmates despite the latter throwing fits like a toddler.

I expect him to be roughly Bebop Sized woth articulated tail (red with green tip). He should look like a hybrid of Playmates and cartoon version. Maybe some changes to differentiate him from other versions is swap the torn scale shirt to a torn shirt with chainmail over it. It creates the same effect as the Playmates toy design, but different.
The cartoon had the great idea of painting his belt a different color from the furry loincloth. 
Slight alterations to the leg armor and cybernetic leg to differentiate from Playmates, like say, have it be slightly more angular while preserving the details.
Different shades of yellow between his bullseyes and the lens on his cyber eye. For his accessories, I'm thinking the Pipe from TMNT 3 Manhattan Project, a taser bullwhip, wrist dart launcher (similar but different to Playmates designs) Foot Clan brand iron (both normal and flaming hot) 

Personally I feel he should be 7 inches and a bit wider than a MOTUC. I want him as muscular as the vintage toy and not as flabby as the toon version. Perhaps some middle ground to differentiate him from both versions?
Theoretically speaking He should suffer a departure from vintage in his color pallette. He's supposed to be wearing overalls, but the vintage toy AND toon version have the colors wrong. The overalls are painted like a pair of pants and a separate tanktop. What I would do is have his overalls be the lighter green that his top has, but have his overalls be super dirty, particularly the leg area to create that distinction in color. His removable backpack shows the difference between clean and dirty. Pack should also be very dirty. It should have a loop for the removable spade and 2 clips to hold his dual pick axes (a replacement to the Playmates 4 point Pick Axe) and a Jackhammer. (Nod to the jackhammer gun playmates had) a second head with his miner's lamp "turned on" (GITD white paint) would complete the figure.
As long as we don't get topless Dirtbag from Manhattan Project... though that COULD be the safest direction for S7.

Super7's take on April the Ravishing Reporter:
This is a logical variant for April... even if it's jist to get her out of her banana jumpsuit. Personally, I'd call this variant Anchorwoman April. She'd have Soft goods skirt and blazer in Black. Now for the sculpted clothing. A somewhat sporty white top (most of it is hidden by the blazer) and yellow hotpants with pantyhose. I didn't want to add the hotpants, but decency standards and "children's toy" logic demands them. Hence the teal bloomers on the Playmates figure. For accessories we can recycle from previous April figures. Mic, Flashlight, handgun, turtle communicators from April v1. Camera from Ninja April, the figure would have the usual hands,  3 heads: "Toon April" head from the first release, New "perm head" inspired by Movie April, last head is Toon April with a blindfold and gag. This is the part where people will raise alerts... removable clothes and kidnapped head. That wasn't my intention. Plastic skirts hinder Articulation. The removable blazer was for more display options.
If you are using a modified wrestling announcer table for a Channel 6 display, she can be with her blazer on. But if she's hanging out at the sewer lair, she can be with her blazer off. Now the kidnapped head isn't necessarily FOR this figure. It's meant to be used on the normal April body. If I wanted to be perverted, She would've been in bra and panties. And the kidnapped head would've  been only the mouth gag and her eye makeup would've been all runny as if she had been crying. 

Non mutated forms of certain characters:
I am of course referring to Hamato Yoshi, Rocksteady, Bebop, Baxter Stockman.
NECA had the right idea by making the characters have different body types and heights. I DISAGREE on Baxter. How I would do them?
I already mentioned the Human Baxter idea for both Mirage Baxter and Fly Baxter to share a body. Swappable arms and sone accessories to change from the African American Mirage Baxter to the Caucasian Cartoon Baxter. By preusing the Vernon legs, we put Baxter on the "taller" section. He'd be about 7" or a smidge taller. He would be on the lankier side. Now tackling Rocksteady and Bebop is the question.

First, I'd have them wearing outfits similar to their mutated forms... not based on either the toon or Playmates. 

For Bebop, I'm thinking black pants, red sneakers with his vest opened like normal Bebop, but this vest is a bit longer. He also is wearing a torn T-shirt underneath.... to complement the punker look. I want to give him the nose ring from the get go. Teh only thing missing would be the turtle shell pads. For accessories I once commented using spray cans, I still stand by that, but I'd give him a baseball bat (hint reuse Casey's). Resue the trashcan from normal Bebop and give him a knife and a removable chain that he can wrap around his torso (think ToyBiz Marvel Legends wave 3 Ghost Rider) the idea is that Bebop looks a lot like his mutated version, but in human form. For hos second head Bebop wearing an orange ski mask for robberies, but he wears his sunglasses over the mask and he cut a hole for his mowhawk. Mask has a pink stain on the front. Think of it as foreshadowing.

Rocksteady should be shorter (about April height), like his toon version and stockier (not pudgy like the toon) 
His outfit should be similar to his Rhino self, but without the Turtle shells on his belt or his helmet. For accessories his knife, a Crowbar, a couple of spray cans, I want to give him a firearm, but I don't want to go full machinegun like his Rhino self. Thinking of a cheap snub nose revolver used for stick-ups aka a Saturday Night Special. His second head is a grey Ski mask for robberies. It has a light grey stain on the tip of his nose and rocksteady wears a Green Trucker hat (with either C.R.A.P. or H.A.T.E.) on it. Again it's a bit of foreshadowing.

Now for Hamato Yoshi, here's where things can get complicated. His base body should be based on Shredder, as they're both members of the Foot. Obviously, no spikes on his wrappings. Also he wouldn't have the wrappings on his neck either. Basically he should look almost like a Shirtless Mirage Foot Ninja without the mask, of course. This also works as pre-making parts for a Hyperstone Heist Tatsu. Just use actual Shredder forearms and new dartgun pieces.
But back to Yoshi. Add soft goods hakama and kimono... (hint these could be reused for Tatsu and Oroku Saki in different colors.) Gor accessories, a bow, arrows, quiver, Zatoichi's cane sword...
 I THINK I have done this already. Maybe have Yoshi be barefoot to fully differentiate him from the others who use the same styled lower legs.

I guess I should tackle Oroku Saki while I'm here: He should be in similar proportions and skintone to normal Shredder. He'd share parts with Hamato Yoshi, of course. He also gets soft goods hakama and kimono. For accessories, S7 can go wild, but I NEED at least 2 heads: Normal Saki head and a scarred head. Simple: For those who want Splinter to be Yoshi, they use the unscarred head. For those who want Splinter to be the rat, then scarred head for Saki.

Channel 6 trio:
I won't go into full detail. I just want to discuss heights. 
Irma needs to be a smidge taller than Super7's Alice.
Vernon needs to be normal adult size (ie Shredder/Casey)

Burne should be about April's height, but pudgy. Kinda like human Rocksteady size, but fat.

I see him a smidge taller than a Turtle's height, but obviously fat. The Chef hat putting his height over April. 

I see him about as wide as a MOTUC, but about as tall as Bebop.

I may be in the minority, but I believe scaletail should be 15 inches long. Hear or I should write, read me out: What I mean by that is that from head to tip of the tail he should be 15 inches long, BUT the way the vintage figure was built that means that a bit under HALF his body is the same size as a normal figure and the other half is his tail. THAT is what I'd like for him.

He should AT LEAST be 9 inches... if using the elongated neck, he should reach 14 inches. Mainly because he's a dragon and he should always be an impressive figure.

Monty Moose:
About Bebop sized makes sense for him. He should be a bit bigger than Lionheart.

A bit bigger than a MOTUC, but smaller than Bebop or Rocksteady.

Since Tokka is Slash size, Rahzar should be almost Mumm-Ra sized.


We know, as seen on the Party Wagon, pure Playmates designs can't be made. 
We'd need an evil vehicle to balance out the Party Wagon. Here are my top choices for "LARGE" Vehicles:

Turtle Tenderizer:
Playmates never released one and all we have are Videogame versions. Sadly, since this is a Rocksteady and Bebop sized vehicle, it would be expensive. I'd combine elements form Manhattan Project and Shredder's Revenge for the toy:
The NES version has 6 guns:
2 on front of the hood (top)
2 under the grill near the front of the tires
2 on the sides near the back of the vehicle.

Personally, I'd add firing effects that plug to the barrels of each gun.
The back of the truck has a cylindrical compartment. I would have that open alongside the tailgate, so spiked mines could be dropped out the back (visually similar to the bombs Rat King drops on Turtles in Time and in function similar to the bombs from the Party Wagon toy).

The colors and shape should match Shredder's Revenge.

Foot Cruiser:
The advantage this one has over any other vehicle, is that with a few modifications it could be reused for a Neutrino Cruiser. Canonically this is a stolen Neutrino Cruiser.

For starters, seats can be moved forwards and back. They should be adjustable for Shredder sized figures or Bebop sized ones. I'm thinking of making it a 4 seater unlike the vintage 2 seater to differentiate. The adjustable front seats determines who sits in the front seat and who sits in the back seat.
The Trunk will be the biggest departure from vintage. Instead of it being the stand of the turret, the trunk becomes the shield of the turret. The guns on the front of the car get firing effects. 

Now the Neutrino variant gets a slightly modified version of the Foot Cruiser. Here's a list of changes:
Alternate front grille with different weapons.
There is no trunk turret. Though the trunk will still be functional and have additional non-lethal weapons for the Neutrinos or Turtles to use. The "winged stands" that the Foot Cruiser has are different on the Neutrino version. The seats would be slightly different. 

Mutant Transport Module:
If there's an Iconic vintage Foot Vehicle, is this one. Made popular by the 87 toon and games from the era. Here's where deviating from Playmates is the better idea. There are two types of Transport Modules:
Elevator and tank.
Playmates made the Tank module. So should Super7. Save the elevator module for a playset.

The Tank Module should be heavily inspired by the cartoon:

It could have the vintage toy colors, but it should look more like the toon version.
-NO REAL TREADS! Cylindrical "wheels" can be hidden within the thread sculpt.
-module should move whether pushed normally or upside down.
-the drill should rotate as the module is pushed.
-I would add the folding lasers from the toy. It should fit Rocksteady, Bebop, and Shredder or Shredder and 4 Foot Soldiers.

Out of the 3 I lean more towards the Module.

I just finished writing a rant about Bob Barker dying and now Harley Quinn is dead!?

 Really, Universe? First you took The Bat, now his sidekick!? I feel reaally bad for Mistah J...

Arleen Sorkin, the Original Harley Quinn has passed away. No Cause of Death has been revealed yet. As always, my condolences to friends and family.

The reason Harley Quinn became so popular was due to Arleen Sorkin's work as VA. She was a generic henchwoman for the Joker that became a breakout character and a cool addition to the DC Universe. It's not easy going from Henchman#3 to getting your own comic series and an HBO show, not to mention multiple movie appearances in the defunct DCEU.

Sorkin, like Conroy and Hamill have done for Batman anad Joker, has set the bar really high for Dr. Quinzell.

Bob Barker is dead...

 When I was a young boy and got sick, I stayed home alone a lot. TV was my friend. Bob Barker was one of my first English teachers. Get your pets spayed or neutered, guys... Well, he's dead now... To be fair, he was 99 years old. He passed due to natural causes... I mean he's 99, he had outlived the Hollywood Average for over a few decades. 

His death hot me a lot harder than I thought it would. I mean, I KNEW he was old, but to me he was like an old friend. When I was sick, he was there for me... so was Springer... now they're both dead... shit! Maury is next... Bob's excellent enunciation and slower rhythm in his voice helped me get better at English. I know many ESL folks learned English thanks to Bob Barker... IIRC Meg's second voice went through Bob Barker's unofficial English school.

Now that's a nice April Fools... but May Bob rest in peace. My condolences to the family and friends.


I told my brother about Bob's passing and this is what he said:
He got closest to 100 without going over... I'm so going to Hell for this!

Herr Forehead Trilogy is coming... OBJECTION!!

 We got the Ace Attorney Trilogy remaster a while back... now the second volume of the remasters, the Apollo Justice Era games are getting their own remaster in 2024. If this is true, then all the Ace Attorney games will be available in a single console outside the 3DS...

That is awesome, but there is a problem. The Edgeworth games are being forgotten once again. 

I never even saw the game until it was too late AND it got a sequel that stayed in Japan. Since the Edgeworth games are supposed to be between PW3 and Apollo Justice, it would make sense for them to be released WITH the Apollo Justice Trilogy. It's not like they're making Edgeworth 3... but at least we get Trucy's Panties in HD... 

Aug 25, 2023

Really, Fortnite? Khaby Lame?

 Yes. The tiktoker that mocks overcomplicated lifehacks is now in Fortnite... all I can say is WHY!? I mean, I can understand adding Pewdiepie, Markiplier, Pokimane, Hafu, Sykkuno, Ironmouse, and other game related streamers...

But I honestly don't get why HE of all the internet people is here.

I mean, if we wanted a nonsensical addition, why not Tay Zonday? (He moves away from the mic for a battle royale) or Greta Thunberg? Maybe even the first President with a Mugshot...

I can imagine the average 12 year old fork knife user teabaggong people with Donald as they scream: "I'll grab you by the pussy!"...

As long as this guy doesn't make it to fortnite

Aug 23, 2023

Blue Beetle is actually good... if you're Latino.

 The movie is a bit too on the nose about Jaime Reyes being a Latino. The Saltines might be a bit lost and find Miguel's sorry, Jaime's family a bit Cringy. Palmera City is very Candiarican...  with the Fancy Higher class Areas filmed in Canada and the Ghetto areas being filmed in Puerto Rico... movie has a Puerto Rican director, yo. Scary thing is that some of these were filmed rather close to one of the places where I used to live as a child. Even that insufferable prick, George Lopez was tolerable. Susan Sarandon was soectacular, even if I felt like the role gave her very little to do.

Unfortunately, the movie suffers from a few things:
- It's a DCEU movie and after Hack Snydurr ruined the DCEU, people have lost faith in DC movies despite the last few being decent. WB should've pulled the plug after BvS, but Aquaman brought money (thanks Horny women) that gave WB a false sense of hope.

- Superhero Fatigue is a real thing and it's hittong hard. For a Wednesday night showing, it was ¾ full. 

-The movie is tied to the DCEU, but it's not. So, Snydertards can claim it's a "Gunnverse" movie if it does bad, but if it does good, it's a "Snyderverse" movie.

I won't spoil it, but go and watch it. It's an enjoyable ride... kinda makes me wish we had a Ted Kord era movie.  

If you know you know...

Hack Snydurr might have a good movie for once...

 The teaser for his edgelord take on Star Wars has been released. Rebel Moon part 1 only on Netflix, December 22, 2023.

Not going to lie, but the trailer looks decent. It shows a lot while revealing too little, due to the lack of context. While the colors are washed out, this is a Hack Snydurr movie, afterall; it's the most colorful movie I've seen him do in the past decade. Also, another good thing:

Thwre was zero trace of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah on the trailer. Why do i say it might be good, because I actually want to see it, not in a: "Let's mock the shit out of Third Rate Michael Bay" way that I normally watch his movies. I want to see it in a: "This movie looks interesting" kind of way.

Of course, I must remember this is a Zack Snyder movie, so I should expect the storytelling be its weakest point. 4 months until we find out of he can raise the bar that Jar Jar Abrams dropped.

Aug 21, 2023

It's not a me, Mario!

 Charles Martinet has been retired as the voice of Mario.

Starting with Super Mario Bros. Wonder, Mario will not be voiced by Martinet... Neither will Luigi... or Wario or Waluigi. Instead Martinet will be a Mario Ambassador. If Martinet is Mario Ambassador, I hope they give the Link Ambassador position to Jonathan Potts, the Original Voice of Link... 
You knew this was coming the moment I said Link's OG voice... what were you expecting me to credit whoever went: "Hah! Hyah! Seiya! Eh!? Hup!" In the 3D Zelda games?

Aug 19, 2023

Holy crap! It's been 14 years!?

 This blog is 14 years old... Next year I could have the Nefty's House of Rants Quinceañera Bash! It's been a long ride, there have been highs, there have been lows, there have been even lower lows. But as my life falls down into a terrible rut, due to depression and other personal demons, I'm still here. Trying to carve a bit of a name for myself, so when I am no longer flesh, I am not forgotten...

I never thought I'd reach the 10 year mark, much less the 14th... Wonder if I can reach 18... that way my blog will be legal. My dream right now is getting enough notoriety for some Rule 34... sadly my 19 loyal readers aren't enough for me to get some rule 34. 

I was considering getting into vtubing but logistics and unreliable electric power and internet in Puerto Rico makes the whole vtubing thing a fool's dream. Especially the voice changer and my outdated tech. Not to mention the investment on model rigging, etc. So, having a Neffie-chan saying things like Boku wa kawaii desune! Or Yamete onii-chan! Kimi wa sukebe desu! I almost forgot a fan favorite: Omae wa mou shindairu! Because everyone knows that vtubers are 40 year old men with a voice changer dayo! 

My NES library is too small to stream games or even do video Reviews. Y'all know I tried that for a while, but it was too much of a hassle. Even tool assisted playthroughs can be a bitch...

Not going to say any names but TMNT1 After the damned dam! 

Due to adult responsibilities, my toy intake has greatly reduced and it seems that my Super7 toy collectong is about to become a 1 line thing, the line being TMNT. I'm returning to 2014 ML collecting. I will be slowing down on pretty much everything that isn't TMNTU or Street Fighter. 

On the gaming side, I'm just about to quit gaming. Responsibilities have stopped me plenty of times from getting a PS5 or a Series X. Ibarely have time to game anymore. My depression isn't helping much either. I've lost most of my joie de vivre. I'm scared... it's not death who I fear, but oblivion... I know I shouldn't be moody, I should be celebrating, but sometimes I feel like I have been wasting my time. Sone of my high school classmates are parents of COLLEGE STUDENTS!! In a few years they might be grandparents and I'm worried about a Super Shredder figure or Darkstalkers 4.

Ever since Mom died I've been trying to heal and find normalcy. But all I feel is an empty hole in my chest. Intrusive thoughts cpnstantly creeping in. It's terrifying. Incredibly enough, it's y'all 19-ish readers who keep me going and help me push away the darkness. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You folks are a glimmer (not to be confused with Glimmer) in my darkness and for that I thank you. I wonder what should I do for the Quinceañera Bash... Or when the blog becomes legal... or in 2030 when the blog will be fully legal and allowed to drink.  I'm not freaking out but I totally am freaking out! Happy Birthday blog! 

In any case let's keep on going! I don't know what the future will bring, but let's a go!

Just reread the let's a go! In a bad Charles Martinet Mario impression.

Aug 18, 2023

Dude, I just got my mind blown...

 You know the American version of The Office, right? The guy who plays Stanley, Leslie David Baker, looks a lot like Punch Out's Doc Louis... well, hear me out... What if Punch Out is made as a Live action movie with Little Mac Being played by

You guessed it Timothee Chal... Of course it's  Tom Holland! Now who could play the others?

Owen Wilson is Glass Joe
Adam Driver is von Kaiser
Simu Liu is Piston Honda
King Hippo is Ryan Reynolds with tons of CGI and a fat suit.
Benedict Cumberbatch is Don Flamenco 
Temuera Morrison is Bald Bull
Triple H is Soda Popinski
Wesley Snipes as Mr.Sandman
Chris Pratt as Super Macho Man
Ryan Reynolds as Mr. Dream
Mike Tyson as himself.

Basically Mr. Dream sets up a boxing tournament where many washed out boxers show up to prove themselves. Doc Louis was invoted to the tournament, but he is a boxer no more, so he sends Little Mac in his place. Mac is a young man with a dream... to defeat Mr. Dream himself. 

Basically Bloodsport but with boxers. Sadly this means that Little Mac won't fight them all, but this is meant to be a one-off movie without any sequels. Hence both Mike and Dream being in the same movie.

200X is now 21 years old.

 Is it now "Vintage enough" to get Masterverse versions of He-Man, Skeletor, and others?

Kids who were born when this aired are halfway through college. Man, I feel old!
So, now that this is "old enough" maybe Mattel could consider some 200X inspired Figures:
Think a Criss between New Eternia and 200X. This is in order to avoid the blocky 200X bodies and over-exaggerated accessories.
Here's my List:

Deluxe 200X He-Man:
Using the 40th Body, New Eternia He-Man boots, new loincloth and harness, new left bracer. Add a 200X sword with the rotating action of the 200X toy, new Axe, new shield. The standard alternate hands and two additional accessories:
Furry King Grayskull cape and a Classic King Grayskull head.

Deluxe Skeletor:
Using the Masterverse body with new shinguards, new loincloth, new harness, new forearms, new bracers, new Havoc staff, new 200X swords, cloth cape, Alternate screaming head.

Standard Keldor:
He reuses the  normal Masterverse body, 200X Skeletor's bracers, harness, loincloth, shinguards, swords. Reuse Revelation trap jaw feet, a new hooded cape and 2 heads: Cocky Keldor and Acid burnt face.

Standard Adam:
Reuses Masterverse Adam from the waist down, new head, torso, arms, belt overlay and jacket. Add an extra head and a "locked 200X power sword"

Deluxe Teela and Orko:
Teela gets a new Teen Body, new sword, staff of Ka, and a 200X Orko as accessory.

Standard Evil Lyn:
200X Evil Lyn with alt. Head, long crystal ball staff, and dagger.

Standard Zodak:
Reuse parts from Zodac, He-Ro, and other exostong figures. Add new gloves, loincloth and alt. head.

Deluxe Count Marzo:
A more 200X Accurate Marzo. Add a 5 PoA weakened Marzo.

200X Sorceress:
There's not much to explain here.

Deluxe King Hsss:
Take the Battle Armor King Hsss from MOTUC and the Serpentine King Hsss snake body and turn them into a single Masterverse figure.

Those ten figures seem enough for a small celebration of 200X. Maybe further down a Snake armor He-Man and a Snake MAA with second MAA head could be added... but holy crap! 200X is 21 years old... I feel old!

Should Super7 do Vac Metal Redos for TMNT?

 Now that Vac Metal is doable for Super7, should they revisit them? I am torn. There's a Huge part of me that says:
For a couple of reasons:
For Metalhead, the VM part would be the torso, that would require new tooling for the Vac Metal. He would get less accessories and be $20 more expensive than its first release. But he would need a massive overhauling in order to also make Metalhead Warrior Michelangelo whose entire body is Vac Metal. Same thing for robotic Bebop and Rocksteady. This would increase the prices for the larger figures a bit too much. 

Adding Vac Metal to those past releases would make a certain company throw a tantrum like a little bitch.

Then we have the cold hard truth: Vac Metal IS SHIT. I hate it in my car, since it started to flake off. I've hated it on toys because it flakes off by looking at them wrong. And paying MORE for a shittier version of the figure that WILL flake off even MOC is a Giant load of shit.

But on the other hand some vac metalized elements can look bitchin! 
A Shredder with vac Metal armor would look bitchin! Problem is that posability and modularity would be lost due to his vac metal parts. 

Now the biggest question is Chrome Dome: I know that I recently mentioned he COULD be done with Vac Metal. Do I WANT him with Vac Metal is a different question.

More expensive figure with flaky plastic, nah... I'd rather get a non vac Metal figure molded in a slightly greyish white sealed with a very glossy finish. Not gonna lie, a Chromed Chrome Dome would look awesome... but will he look good 1 year from release? I don't want to risk it.

Aug 16, 2023

Dimension Shellshock drops August 31st...

 It has Karai as a playable character... I know, She wasn't in the 1987 cartoon. She was in Tournament Fighters though. That's the loophole. 

She looks a bit too happy in the thumbnail, but whatever... but something is bugging me: Karai's usage of a Kusarigama. She's more known for using a bow and arrows or a katana. I'm willing to bet that someone will try to show me a still from an obscure 2003 or 2012 episode and a single comicbook panel where Karai is using one. Or worse... they'll remind me of the upcoming Super7 figure that I already paid for and I'm waiting for... now I wonder, was Super7 aware of this DLC? If so we may have hopes for a good looking Usagi.

Street fighter things that make me go huh?

 Street Fighter, the series that has way too many games and confusing lore. There are a few things that make people, ie, me go: huh?

 Y huh? I mean wtf? A lot of these get explanations, but it's those explanations thatare weird:

No, before I start the mystery of Poison's penis will not be touched.

-Blanka is green because he dyed his skin and doesn't shower. He generates electricity because he learned from the eels.

-Ryu has a shitton of money. He's a street fighting hobo, but he has a cellphone, a black credit card and Ryu's street fighting winnings are managed by Ken Masters, not to mention Ryu does odd jobs like construction, security, solving "local crises" aka Scooby-Doo shit with street fighting. (Chun Li has to buy him normal people clothes because, he enjoys going everywhere with his gi.

-Gouken wasn't dead. He was only in a coma... This one is so messed up. In most media, Ryu or Ryu and Ken BURY Gouken. But that's not all: Gouken survived because he emptied his mind.

-Dan studied Ansatsuken from Gouken and was kicked out of the school for being bent on revenge. Sakura saw Ryu fight a couple of times and created her own form of Ansatsuken, stronger than Dan's Saikyo style.

-speaking of Sakura: she got sunburnt and tapped into the Satsui no Hadou. Really.

-Akuma and Ryu (also Sakura to an extent)mastered Psycho Power better than Bison, because Satsui no Hadou is a stronger and purer version of Psycho Power. This is why Bison becomes obsessed with Ryu.

-Don't get me started on Cammy and Decapre being ACTUAL CLONES OF BISON BUT RULED 63 BECAUSE REASONS. Then there's all the young women kidnapped for the Doll project...

Now imagine Raúl Julia's voice coming out of Kylie Minogue... you're welcome!

-Gill... yes, I'm going for the low hanging fruit. Specifically, the ones in his banana hammock.
Is his penis half red and half blue? Or is it one color? Also, what about his balls? I won't ask about Oro, since his are seen in 3rd Strike.

-Abel was a male body for Bison. Who is a copy of SETH, but looking more human. Thing is that Seth has many similarities with Gill and Urien... what's going on here!?

-Necalli. To this day I've no idea what the fuck is going on here.

-JP: After Bison, Gill, Akuma, etc. Street Fighter 6's main villain is LITERALLY BISON'S ACCOUNTANT!! 

You know what, I'm out... what's next, SF7's villain will be Bison's maid?

Aug 14, 2023

It came from the Toy Chest: He likes to eat pussy...

 Cats, I am talking about CATS, you pervs! This figure that is coming out the Toy Chest is a Melmacian... not just any Melmacian, but the MOST POPULAR MELMACIAN of all... Gordon Shumway, also known as the Alien Life Form... or A.L.F. for short. One of the few Melmacian survivors after the destruction of their planet, he Crashlanded on Earth and had to be kept hidden by a host family until the Government caught him. Government kept him under wraps until he was about to be executed, but was able to escape that fate. He became a Melmacian Ambassador on Earth and began whoring himself with product placement.
Mike: Holy shit, dude! I haven't seen you since the acid trip inducing anti drug afternoon special!
ALF: Hamato-san!? What a coincidence! I was telling my Melmacian buddies that I knew  one of the Turtles that fought Triceratons near D'Hoonib! Also, we don't talk about that special...
Mike: How's it hanging mr. 10-10-220?
ALF: Are you calling me a sellout, Mr. Coming out of his shell Pizza Hut promo with his videogame?
Mike: Touché.
ALF: Got any Pussy? I need to eat some!
April VO: Mine needs to be eaten!
Mike: Calm your tits, April! He's talking about cats...
April VO (disappointed): I see...

ALF sports normal NECA Articulation... remember to get the figure acclimated before opening. His tights required some lubricant specifically the ball joint. I used baby oil, but some people swear on shock oil...
His jaw not only is hinged, but has side to side posability, which gives him tons of personality.
His legs are a bit more limited in posability, but he can manage sitting poses. I mean, he's not an action-oriented character, so fighting poses are not needed.
Mike: I've got Popcorn, what are you doing with Klunk II?
ALF: So it's a pet cat... darn it! At least his hairs will give the bread a bit of cat flavor as I drink my Fusco Cola: The taste of MY Generation!
Mike: Are you doing an ad right now?
ALF: You know, your friend April kinda looks like a younger Kate... from the folks I used to live with...
Mike: How are the Tanners?
ALF: Well, Willie died. Kate began working for an NPO. Lynn became a Yoga instructor. Brian he joined the Navy and became a certified badass.
Mike: Please tell me you didn't eat Lucky...
ALF: I didn't. I'm, don't tell this to anyone, it's embarrassing... I'm a cat lover. Don't get me wrong... I still like the taste of cat, but All I end up doing is puttong them in my food so they shed some hair on it so I can taste cat without eating them.

Paint and sculpt
NECA did an amazing job with him. They captured the essence of ALF perfectly... but!
-Wait, why is there a but?
-He's too tall for being a 1:10 figure. He's supposed to be under 2'9". BUT the toy is almost the size of a 1:10 Scale TMNT.
OK: Super7 April is in 1:10 scale and is roughly 6.5" which makes her 65 inches or 5'5".
Michelangelo is 5.75" or 57.5" which makes him 4'9.5"
ALF is 5.5" or 55" which is 4'7" he's supposed to be 2'9". This ALF is closer to 1:6 scale than he is 1:10. This ruins MOST of my display plans. It makes his accessories a bit too large for 1:10 figures. Darn! Other than that he's perfect...
4.0 due to bad scale compatibility.
Mike: That's your girlfriend, Rhonda?
ALF: Yeah! Isn't she gorgeous?
Mike: I don't know enough about Melmacian beauty standards to formulate an opinion.
ALF: If I wanted a long-winded explanation, i would've asked Donatello.
Mike: Dude, I'm not sexually attracted to Melmacians.
ALF: Gimme a sec, Yo, Rhonda! It's me, Gordon. Yeah, still on Earth! I got hired by Van Wilder, over!
Rhonda VO: I understood half of it. Over!
Mike: Your name is Gordon!? I thought it was Alfredo or something... Why do they call you ALF?
April: It stands for Alien Life Form. Why is there a bag of Marijuana atop my TV?
Mike: ALF, dude, what's the deel with the wads of chewed marijuana?  Didn't we said that drugs are bad?
ALF: That's not marihuana, those are slimeballs.
April: Ew!
ALF: Could you guys say hi to Rhonda for me?
Mike: Like Hi, Rhonda and Cowabunga! Over. It's me, Michelangelo, the ninja turtle, over.
Rhonda VO: Gordie! Are you really hanging out with the orange one right now!? Over!
April: Um, Hi, Rhonda! I'm April, April O'Neil, and yes, Mikey is the real deal orange Ninja Turtle. Over!
Rhonda: Y-you mean April O'Neil the dimension hopping reporter from Channel 6!? Over!
ALF: Yup! Is Skip around? I want to rub it in on his snout! Claiming he knows a Battletoad...over

5 extra hands
Soft goods shirt
Pussycat sandwich
Bowl of popcorn
Fusco Cola
CB radio
Picture of Rhonda
He's got a lot of stuff going on:
-Careful with his glasses. They're a bit of a pain to properly put on and they're super fragile. Heard reports about people breaking them while taking them off. I almost broke mine as well.
-The cat is not removable from the plate or the sandwich.
-CB Radio is super fragile, especially the Mic. Some reportsmention that they have broken the mics by trying to have AlF hold it. 
-Rhonda picture frame can break off the stand leg if you're not careful.
4.5 due to the multiple accessories that can break easily.
April: ALF... Are those?
ALF the best taffy candy Ive ever eaten! This one has creme filling!
ALF: I-I can't do this, tell Nefty I quit! A coneheads reference, really? What's next have me sing Yub Nub.
Nefty VO: allay luv ta nuv! Allay luv ta nuv!
ALF: Fuck you, Nefty...
Nefty VO: Fuck me? Sweet! I just got insulted by ALF! All I need is Mr.T to pity me to remove one item from the bucket list.

ALF gets a 4.5 as his final score. The scale issue and the extremely fragile accessories are the things that really hurt the figure. It's a really cool figure but it cannot be displayed with anything else since it's on a scale on its own. The only thing close to scale for this out would be Barbie dolls, and after Twilight I haven't touched any other Barbie.

Aug 12, 2023

First it was the Scientologist, now... Ramen Toy, you guys are playing with fire...

 And it might burn a bit hard if the red buzzsaw feels threatened. I HOPE that you have legally cleared everything with the red buzzsaw people first, because it would be a shame if these cool looking Barbaric dude and Undead Lich warrior figures get hit with the letters C&D.

I believe these are supposed to be 6-inch figures, meaning that they could be compatible with Mattel's older DCUC line, Hasbro's Marvel Legends, NECA's Mirage TMNT, and Jada Toys' Street Fighter II lines. Problem is that Mattel is VERY ACTIVE with MOTU on Masterverse and Origins. I could see this not making it if Mattel, as owner of the IP, flexes their legal muscles as IP owner.  Making third party kits is one thing, but this is making full figures, which may ruffle some feathers that don't need any more ruffling. Not gonna lie, these look cool, but since these are super limited run items, they are outside my threshold for toys... says the guy who has spent over 2000 dollars on Super7 stuff. Without counting Snake Mountain. 

These prototypes look pretty cool... but Mattel may not like them that much.

Aug 11, 2023

Dale Gribble will never find out about John Redcorn... I blame Haley Joel Osment for this.

 Johnny Hardwick, voice of Dale Gribble in King of the Hill was found dead on Tuesday... dammit, you're ruining Bison for me now! His cause of death is not known at the moment. Police found his body when doing a wellness check.

Originally, Hardwick was hired as a writer for King of the Hill and ended up playing Dale Gribble after they couldn't get Daniel Stern for the role... wait, The Narrator from Wonder Years? Who am I kidding, everyone knows I'm thinking of Marv... 

Hulu is working on a King of the Hill revival where Hardwick had done some work. Will Dale be recast, or will he be written out? So many questions, but I'm not a huge fan of King of the Hill, so I'll never know... I just want a Daria crossover with Beavis and Butthead.

Should Jada do Ace Attorney?

 They're doing Street Fighter II and Megaman, sfAlpha is supposed to be after SFII. That could spin off into Final Fight... 

Darkstalkers could be a thing. Think about it:
The roster is rather small:
  1. Dimitri
  2. Jon Talbain
  3. Lord Rapter
  4. Victor
  5. Morrigan
  6. Anakaris
  7. Felicia
  8. Rikuo
  9. Bishamon
  10. Sasquatch
  11. Huitzil
  12. Pyron
  13. Hsien-ko
  14. Donovan
  15. Lilith
  16. Q-Bee 
  17. B.B.Hood
  18. Jedah
That's not counting any "variations" like Dark Talbain, or Oboro Bishamon, who in my opinion should be a "deluxe figure" of Bishamon, the man with his accessories being Hanaya armor pieces", human Talbain (who could be made using Street Fighter parts like Ryu's feet with Fei Long's body and a new belt and head), human Hsien-ko and her sister Mei-ling.
A 3 pack of small characters like Anita, Cecil, and Le Malta. That would be 24 figures padded out with variants and little extras. But when you think about it, that roster is too big.

Let's look at something smaller: Ace Attorney Trilogy. A Pollo Justicia can wait. This is all about the OG finger pointer bengoshi, Naruhodo Ryuiichi. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Yes, I already have the figma figure, but fuck it... a lonely Phoenix Wright is all kinds of Wrong. So here's my potential list for an Ace Attorney trilogy line:
  1. Phoenix Wright 
  2. Miles Edgeworth 
  3. Mia Fey
  4. Manfred von Karma
  5. Franziska von Karma
  6. Godot
  7. Judge
  8. Winston Payne
  9. Maya Fey (channeling Mia)
  10. Pearl Fey (channeling Mia)
  11. Detective Gumshoe
  12. Ema Skye
Basically you have the Judge, Phoenix Wright or Mia Fey as lawyers, multiple Prosecutors, and poor Detective Gumshoe, pal! Who functions as a witness in the display. There are a few "variants" that could be used to pad out the roster
  1. Maya and Pearl 2 pack (since kid Pearl is too small to be a single figure release, a 2-pack with Maya works.Not to mention that Pearl'shead on Maya'sbody is halfway there for AJ era Pearl.)
  2. Diego Armando (a repaint of Godot with new heads)
  3. Phoenix Wright: Defendant (the facemask wearing version of PW before he became an attorney. Also, Mia's first defendant)
  4. Trials and Tribulations Deluxe Maya (channeling Dhalia, with alt Dhalia head, and angry Dhalia spirit. Of course the figure would be sold as Dhalia)
I wanted to add a Furio Tigre and then have a variant of Furio Tigre pretending to be Phoenix Wright... but if I keep going with possible variants and witnesses that would put me at the same number of releases as Darkstalkers... or go beyond.

I mean the rosters for both Darkstalkers and Gyakuten Saiban are smaller than say Biohazard. Though I have a soft spot for  Biohazard 4's The Los Ganados...

Wait, maybe Capcom isn't the answer, but:

Sen'in wa doko desu ka...

Creating random TMNT characters

 Before I start, this is in no way, shape, or form, a wishlist for brand new characters. This is something thatwas cooking up on its own when I made some TMNT related lists. While attempting to pseudo deplaymatesize vintage characters. Some of the characters seemed so out there that need some sort of "enemy" to function.

For example, Sandstorm has this Camel dressed as a Middle Eastern Swashbuckler type of character. For his "enemy" I thought a Sphinx Cat character with a Pharaoh/Mummy motif. I know Sandstorm had some Egyptian motif for his concept. So, here's an idea for a Sphinx  Cat enemy for Sandstorm:

The name is a portmanteau of Nefertiti and Kitty. Yes, I DID think of it when I started giggling at Nefertiti's name. Brain kept hearing Nefertitty. Now I chose the Sphinx Cat because of the name and their old looking appearance...
The figure herself would be mostly covered in bandages on her head, Of she were made in the 80s she'd be wearing an oversized Nemes to hide her action feature. Think Double Trouble. I know that most female Pharaohs wore a different hat, but this is late 80s toy style and I need to hide another face in there. She'd have a neck collar (usekh) that would inject some color to the figure and add the Ankh symbol on her. Some sort of tunic top because despite her being wrapped in bandages, the fact that they're kind of skintight would imply nudity and mammals have nipples. So to appease potential 80s Karens about Neferkitty showing her Nefertitties. Yes, I'm going to milk that joke like a... moving on! She'd have a removable pharaoh belt with a piece that drapes over her crotch despite her tunic wrapping around like a one piece swimsuit. Shed have some gold bracers with color elements pulled from her vintage accessories and her Usekh. Think Vintage MOTU level of detail. For her feet some fancy gold sandals.
For accessories an ankh staff, Kopesh, Ooze filled canopic jars. In the vintage line, all four jars would've been sculpted together. Then a little sphinx cat buddy dressed like a baby pharaoh with fake beard and everything.

She'd be a villain, revived and mutated when Rocksteady and Bebop tried tonget rid of some ooze that a sphinx cat had licked. They dumped it in some canopic jars, which revived and mutated the organs of an unknown Mummy. Mutated into a humanoid Cat, she took the name Neferkitty. Taking the Sphinx cat that mutated into a humanoid baby now named Ankhenkatem, she needs to suck the Ooze put of mutants in order to retain her youth and be able to protect her baby, the future Ruler of the world, Ankhenkatem. 

Now if she were made for ultimates, which I'm not saying any of these character ideas should be made. But for the sake of the exercise, I'll adapt them to Ultimates, which is the goal.

Lose the oversized Nemes, since no action feature here. She'd get two heads. Young and old version. Old version has red eyes and wrinkly Sphinx Cat skin, while young lools, well young and a bit less cat-like. OK I lied. She gets 2 necks: one for the normal heads and the second neck with an action feature head (see MOTUC Double Mischief.)

The canopic jars from vintage would be separate.

The rest of the accessories would be multicolored versions instead of the neon pink weapons from "vintage".
And no, this isn't an Animal Crossing reference.

By the name you can deduce he's mushroom based. He is also a clown. Wisually I'm thinking creepy clown makeup on an alien face. Hair shaped like a mushroom cap with actual mushrooms acting as the mushroom spots. He
Is body should be kinda mushroom shaped. His arms should be long with 3 mushroom fingers.
Action feature would be similar to kenner's old lightsabers but with an elongating mushroom finger.
For accessories he has a Toad-stool. A literal barstool he uses to sit, as a weapon, or to aim his spore blaster. He gets a spore blaster based on vintage fumigation pump. A Mushroom shaped meringue pie. It's just a meringue pie with mushroom spots that has a weird handle due to the figure's sculpting...

Super7's process to make him an Ultimates figure, would give him 3 heads (they share the Mushroom cap shaped wig) 3 expressions: the vintage grin, a new angry face, a maniacal laughong head. He would get standard articulation and be able to properly sit on the Toad-stool and properly use the fumigation blaster. The extending finger can be improved to extending FINGERS and for both hands. The pie would get a removable vintage handle since the new hands allow for it being normal. Yes, this is a Wingnut villain. The concept started as a Mr. Freeze inspired  character that evolved into a Harley Quinn due to the name.

Paw and Order:
It's a K9 officer. Basically a police dog turned into an anthro dog. As an officer of the law, his uniform should be spotless. Due to his lower paws being more dog-like he doesn't wear regulation footwear. He's a German Shepherd. 

For accessories, he has:
Police Belt with holster for his gun and baton
Gun (reuse revolver from US Raph)
Baton shaped like a bone, a Boneton
Officer H. Amster, a little buddy (female) Hamster ready to shoot a perp.

Turning him into an ultimates figure would give him 2 extra heads aside the "vintage" slightly opened mouth so he can chew his boneton. The extra heads would be growling and "good boy" heads. The regulation belt won't be removable,  the gun and officer H. Amster would get color. He'd get a riot shield aamd a removable bulletproof vest and reuse Leatherhead's shotgun.

Obviously, he's meant to go against Scratch due to the cops and robbers dynamic. He's also a not. So subtle nod to Police Academy. Officer H.Amster is a reference to Hooks while Paw and Order is a mix of Tackleberry and Hightower.

Komrade Mivied:
It's a Spetsnatz Brown Bear. He has the striped tank top from Russian Military, a removable blue beret, arctic camo pants and boots. His boots are torn due to his bear feet being too big for them. The bear has a flat top like Ivan Drago. 
For accessories he has an AK-47 styled machine gun, Mossin Nagant styled Sniper Rifle, a Makarov inspired gun, Honey rations, and an oversized ballistic knife with flick firing action. 

For the transformation to an Ultimates figure, he's getting a second head which is slightly more modern and has a scar over his left eye, now all white due to the wound. He still sports the flat top to hold the beret or the new Ushanka. He gets the standard hands, redos of his vintage accessories in realistic colors, 3 new to scale realistic ballistic knives. (Normal knife mode, firing the ballistic blade, deployed blade... he also gets a pair of hands with the empty handle sculpted into it. The handle has a hole to plug in the blade.) These are a replacement to the vintage flick firing ballistic knife.

He's meant to be Guerilla Gorilla's enemy... Sgt.Bananas on the vintage line. 80s, Cold War, you get the idea... and no, he isn't a Metal Gear Solid reference. Oleg Miviedski was a Spetsnatz Operative who fought a brown bear who went on a Retromutagen Ooze filled rampage. (Yes, it's a nod to the Cocainum Bear). After besting the creature (he killed it, but we can't put that on a kid's toy.) his open wounds allowed for the Ooze and bear blood to enter his system, transforming him. Now this bear ain't Pooh and the one thint he craves more than Honey is Turtle Soup. Add some bear puns like he survives the unbearable Siberian Weather.

A Doberman Pinscher Bouncer/Vigilante: Think Final Fight/Double Dragon/Streets of Rage type of character combined with Elements of Mr.T. 
Visually he's an anthropomorphic Doberman wearing a tight fitting red T-shirt, sporting LOTS of chains that he takes as trophies from people who were up to no good until he made them see the error of their ways with a beating. Torn blue jeans and extremely clean white sneakers. Despite having his hands taped, he sports rings on each finger spelling JUSTICE! (Reversed on his hands in order to have the word properly spelled out on the suckers he beats up)
For accessories he has:
Half eaten Dumpster hotdog
Punishing pipe
Better yourself bat 

For the Ultimates version, he gets a few changes. He gets removable chains, a new removable jean vest, a pair of extra fist hands with rings that spell out HERO HOUR on the criminal's body. An alternate head with a swollen cheek, a black eye and some other bruises. Removable sunglasses. His old accessories now in color  he also gets dumpster ribs.

The dumpster food is a nod to beat-em up games, which you know I love since the Nick R. Cade character Idea that evolved into the Nefty-kun for TMNTU is meant to have them. The other two accessories I left pipe and the baseball bat are nods to these type of games too.
The Bling is the obvious Mr T reference, and he's like the "Ultimate Bouncer". 

The idea behind the character is that he's a mid-20s guy from Harlem (Tyrone Braun) that acts as a community organizer by day and a Bouncer by night. Worried about the rising crimes in Harlem after the Turtles' activities in lower Manhattan pushed many petty criminals up north, he began a Watchdog initiative on his neighborhood. One night after taking an injured Doberman to a veterinarian, The Turtles were on the Party Wagon chasing Rocksteady and Bebop who were riding the Toitle Tenderizer. An ooze vial fell from the Tenderizer and hit Tyrone, who mutated into an actual Watchdog. Now he dedicates to full-time vigilantism, much to the chagrin of Paw and Order. It's also a subtle reference on how Dobermans were being phased out by German Shepherds as the security guard dog.

Rockster Lobster:
It's a literal Rock Lobster! I mean a Lobster whose body is made of rocks. As in Lobster + Ooze + Stone Soldier = Rockster Lobster. Basically a stone creature in the shape of a Spiny Lobster, aka Rock Lobster. He has 10 limbs like lobsters:
Main claws being the first pair of limbs. A pair of (non poseable) tiny legs near his face. The feeding limbs (first pair of walking legs in a normal lobster)
2 pairs of (barely poseable) spidery legs that allow him to stand in a hexaped mode.
The last 2 legs are the humanoid legs that allow him to stand bipedally.
The only piece of clothing it has is a loincloth made of matching towels... (yes, it's a reference to the song). Due to him being vintage it kinda looks like Mowgli's "diaper" styled loincloth.  The rocky body can have seaweed, bits of coral and barnacles and small sea creatures like crabs, an actual lobster, clams, starfish, etc. in vintage Playmates fashion. His action feature is articulated claws. And slightly hinged tail. For accessories: tanning butter stick. (It's just a stick of butter, because he's a lobster), reuse the crab budy from sewer surfing Mike, Lobster trap shield. 

In the change to Ultimates, this figure would be a bit taller than the Turtles. He could get more articulation on the "lesser legs". He could get a second head to use in hexaped mode. Adding soft goods towels to make a more loincloth looking loincloth. 
I don't have to say that B-52s Rock Lobster was an inspiration.

It's an anthropomorphic Mullet sporting Rattlesnake with an eye patch on his right eye, wearing an outfit inspired by Jack Burton. But with the foot insignia covered by a 🚫 and Snek written  on it.
On his left arm he has the same "handcuff" Plissken had in Escape from LA.
For accessories:
Silenced gun, machine gun, grenades, soft goods trenchcoat. A little buddy that is a Jack in a box. The box has a lightning bolt sculpted on it. The Jack in the box has shoulder length hair and looks like a pretty boi.

The change to Ultimates adds 2 more heads:
A Snek head without eyepatch, a black bandana and a cigarette sculpted on his mouth. The other head is blond. With removable sunglasses and a ponytail.
The guns come in realistic colors instead of vintage white plastic. The Jack in the box is painted in pale blonde hair, a pale face and a grey outfit. The box it grey, turquoise and the lightning bolt is the color of Jack's hair.

It's obvious that Snek is a tribute to Kurt Russell, but my Super7's extras turn him into a Konami nod that is a nod to Kurt Russell. It is also a nod to TMNT's close relationship with Konami. Something something EPF agent who volunteered for a mutation experiment. Bishop aims for Snek to join the Mutanimals and become a government liason between the Mutanimals and the EPF. And yes, his shirt is a nod to no step on snek parody of the Gadsden flag. The reversed eyepatch is to make it less obvious that it is a nod to Plissken, but also it's a nod to Naked Snake. The Jack in the box is a double MGS reference: Jack in the box is known for hiding in a box and surprising people. Which is a nod to the Cardboard box trick, and he is supposed to look like a Raiden reference.

Jane Doe:
As her name states, she's a female deer. She's also an amnesiac who doesn't remember anything aside a few days ago, when she woke up shackled to a wall by a group of survivalist weirdos (Committee to Rebuild American Patriotism guys or the Humans Against The Extraterrestrials guys. The point is that it'sa hate group of survivalists that the Turtles stopped.) who were interrogating her about the Turtles, when Casey Jones showed up and saved her. After taking him to his grandma's farm and giving her some clothes that belonged to his late ex, Casey named her Jane Doe.
The idea for the character is that she looks human from the neck down AND all of her clothes hide her features. Her face would be covered by a Burlap sack. The idea is to hide which version of Jane Doe you bought. Since V1 of the figure had the human chase variant be 1/100. After the backlash a v2 of the figure was released that used a new human head, and a slightly different color on her outfit. Now you had a 50/50 chance of Jane or Doe.
Red turtleneck with a dark brown leather jacket and dark brown gloves blue jeans and black boots complete the look. For v1. For v2, the red is darkened and the browns lightened a little.
Her human heads v1 is a Blonde April v1 head. V2 human head is a blonde Mitsu head.

For accessories she has the burlap sack that covers her head, image inducer belt (gift from Prof. Honeycutt to give her a human appearance. Also explains the human variant), reuse April's gun and flashlight, ooze vial.

The Ultimates version of her would have both human heads, the normal Doe head, and an expressive doe head (terrified) obviously some extra hands and all her vintage accessories in realistic colors and maybe some shackles to chain her up.

Charley Horse:
Basically a horse racing jockey anthropomorphic horse Cronenberg body horror thing. Multi colored shirt, white pants torn in some places, you can see his tail popping out the back of his pants, his left leg is partially horsefied with a hoof and hosreshoe, while the right leg looks human. His head is fully horsefied and somehow his jockey helmet stays on.
For accessories he has the riding crop (he can spank himself to run faster), champion wreath shield, call to post bugle

Super7 would toss in 1 extra head that looks like he's running hard. The accessories would be in realistic colors.

Imagine a vertically challenged Lumberjack crossed with a carcajou... an animal that rhymes with polverine. He should be about a head shorter than the turtles, but as stocky as them. Dressed like Paul Bunyan after fighting a bear WITH A TORN RED PLAID SHIRT, BLUE JEANS AND BLACK BOOTS. The figure should have a roaring face. 
For accessories he gets a lumberjack ax, a cybernetic muzzle/mask, an empty can of hoots, and a jug of maple syrup, because Canada.

The Ultimates version would get two additional heads. One of them will be with the Muzzle/mask sculpted in with additional details that would make it reminiscent of the one used on WeaponX... again, wasn't obvious that Gulo² is a parody of Marvel's Angry Stabby Canadian, the Muzzle/Mask would make it obvious.  The other head would be a more surly expression and not roaring like the "vintage head". I wanted to add an addituional head with an eyepatch, but that would've made the Rogan-san conneection too obvious. (I worte his name in Japanese on ourpose since they have no L.)
His fiust hands would have brass knuckles with small "spikes" between the knuckles. Another subtle nod to "the best there is at what he does and what he does ain't nice, bub!" 
He gets all the accessories, but in color. In addition he gets a torn and broken version of his control helmet that can be put on the vintag head or used as a prop. 

Gulo² is an angry short lumberjack who loves fighting in Inderground Canadian fighting tournaments. After losing to Karai in one of these (subtle nod to Tournament Fighters) he was dumped in the Canadian Wilderness. In his stupor he pissed off a Wolverine and as he ran away from the little freak, he stumbled and fell into the same ooze that created Monty Moose. Now turned into a rabid carcajou,  Karai recruited him for her secret army against Krang and her father as an assassin for the Foot... or something.

Wowee! I ended up making way too many characters... This was supposed to be just Neferkitty, Funguy,Watchdog and Paw and Order. I had fun... even if 2 characters are blatant ersatz parody versions of other characters from other properties.