Mar 31, 2020

it came from the toy chest: SHE Hulk is green, not gray...

Everyone knows that. Also, Hulk has a penis and She-Hulk has a vagina. Hulk is Bruce Banner, She-Hulk is Jennifer Walters. The final figure of the Super skrull Wave is reserve member of the Fantastic Four She-Hulk. I refuse to call her Hulk, not out of sexism, but out of respect for the character.

 She-Hulk is HER OWN CHARACTER. Completely different from Bruce Banner. While Bruce is severely messed up in the head as a character. Jen is not. Bruce sees the Hulk as a curse, Jen sees it as a blessing. In banners case each different manifestation of Hulk was a fragment of his personality manifesting itself as a different monster. In Jennifer's case it used to be her confidence her charm her beauty her smarts that manifested themselves as She-Hulk.

Sadly modern era Marvel writers have tried to turn Jennifer into a female Bruce Banner, hence this Gray She-Hulk and the Canseco Juiced up Banner with tits version of She-Hulk.
She-Hulk: How do you get $1 and I $0.73?
Hulk: Hulk earn $1.00 because Hulk do more work.
She-Hulk: We do the same thing! We smash!
Hulk: But Hulk Smash full-time with Avengers.
She-Hulk smash part-time. 

Despite having a larger body She Hulk has the same articulation as a normal female figure. This is slightly disappointing because reduce her ability to smash.

Paint and sculpt 
The sculpt is muscular yet feminine, something that I'm grateful for. I could see some reuse of the upper half of this body for a more classic styled She-Hulk. Paint wise she's okay she's pretty much molded in the appropriate color plastic I just dislike the painted on Battle damage. 
She-Hulk: @#$% the Patriarchy!! She-Hulk smash!
Hulk: Hulk no like this smash on his pee pee!

BAF piece
Extra hands
Pretty standard stuff here, nothing to write home about.
She-Hulk: The glass ceiling can lick my butt and suck on my balls!
Hulk: She-Hulk has no balls. She-Hulk has vagina.
She-Hulk: Shit it cous' or I'll take your balls instead.

Jen gets a 4.17 as her final score. As always I would say that an extra had some extra hands would've pushed the character to a higher level. But I understand that most of the budget was blown in Jen here and in Doctor Doom.  that reminds me I got to do the Toys R Us exclusive Avengers Toys that have been kept in the toy chest for three years or something.


NOPE! CAN'T SEE THIS GETTING ANNOYING PAST ONE SENTENCE! Both a master of science and Magic Victor Von Doom suffered an accident that left him scarred for life. He blames Reed Richards for this accident add in a Von Doom over reaction he puts on a red-hot iron mask on his face to cover his miniscule disfigurement. Whether you believe the Small scar story or the full disfigurement story, point is that Doom made an arcane armor by combining Magic ands Science for Revengr against Reed Richards.

Unlike the previews reviews I'm not going to compare Doctor Doom to the infamous Iron Man... despite both of them being Victor Von Doom.
Your pick.

This Doctor Doom has all the articulation that a Doctor Doom figure needs... except maybe sitting on a Latverian Throne.  we kind of need one of those.

Paint and sculpt
Here is where the entire wave blew most of its budget. Aside some internal engineering pieces this Doom is 100% new sculpt. The paint job is super effective on him.  The only nitpick I have with his paint job is that they didn't paint the letter D embossed on his gun holster. I had to get the old paint brush and give it a little gold paint.
The infamous Ironman Victor head fits him.

BAF piece
Mauser-like gun
Extra hands
Extra classic head
This Doctor Doom figure comes packed with tons of stuff compared to the other figures in this wave.
 I kind of wish he had gotten a couple of extra accessories as a bonus.
A Hand that can hold the faceplate of his mask.
2 heads (one with the tiny scar and one with the disfigurement.)
A hand that could hold a Latverian Chalice
A pair of hands blasting energy from his fingers.
As he currently is he gets a

Doctor Doom gets a 5.0 as his final score. With reasons  being,  He absolutely kicks ass. He has a vintage styled head and a modern Doom head so you can display him with any era of Fantastic Four. Some people may complain that his lower tunic is a bit too long, which I kind of agree with, but at least it's not super short that I can see the latverian royal jewels.

Mar 29, 2020

It Came from the Toy Chest: The Thing just loves to fight! Call the four!

With Ben we finish the Fantastic Four. Ben Grimm as a pilot an explorer and the ever-loving blue-eyed thing of the Fantastic Four.  he's also worshipped in Puerto Rico... well, on Earth 616... not Earth 1, which is our Earth. I'm running out of things to describe Ben Grimm with.

This figure is literally a watered-down version of the Walgreens figure with a new head and belt.

Since this figure is literally I repaint from the Walgreens figure the articulation did not change at all. It's similar to monster Venom spot the main differences the ball joint at or so instead of having a normal ab crunch.
Not my thing, but it's an
Unmodified Thing.

Paint and sculpt:
as you might have noticed my thing looks different than the average thing. That is because I had to repaint mine.
 I used to like four different shades of orange and yellow Also I gave him a light wash of a burnt sienna color to fill in the cracks. The reason for the multiple shades of oranges and yellows watch to keep in the shade in gimmick, but doing it with a little bit more subtlety than the official figure. It's a shame that I couldn't match the colors of the Walgreens figure because I love this new head sculpt more than the official headphones from the Walgreens figure.

BAF piece
No extra head and no extra hands only the heads for the super skrull. it feels a little bit underwhelming.

Thing gets a 3.0 as his final score. I don't know what were they thinking with the weird shading and not painting the cracks. I get that budget why you say couldn't squeeze in the extra open hands that the Walgreens figure had, but I kind of feel like they caught a lot of corners on him.

It came from the Toy Chest: Johnny is the Human Torch... (is this a rerun)

Continuing the Fantastic Four "week" we have Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. Unlike his teammates, he's the only one who was made on a different body than his Walgreens counterpart. The new Johnny is in the Kaine Body, while Old Johnny is in the Bucky body. But I'll explain it when the actual review is done. I'm pointing it up on the intro because it's one curious Thing. Also having to explain again that Outer Space Adventures cosmic rays made Johnny a flaming guy I've done that before already.

As I mentioned, this Johnny being on a Spider-body Gibson a bit more articulation than his previous Walgreens figure. Butterfly joints are awesome. The butterfly joints give the figure some out of the range that the original Bucky body did not have.
Now I kind of want a flamed on Johnny with this Kaine body. It would be very cool for some flame related poses.

Paint and sculpt:
The outfit looks just like Reed's so I won't go into much detail here. The face looks decent and it captures the look of five Northern are at Johnny Storm but I feel there's something off in the face. It's the cheek on the smirking side. Looks a bit like if he had a stroke.
Spider-Man and his
Amazing Sausagefest!

BAF piece
Extra hands
Weird flaming effect for forearms.
I personally would've liked a second Flamed on head, or at least have Johnny's hair and eyes looking flamed. (Translucent orange head with painted skin.) The "flamed hair" would allow for the same light piping effect from Transformers.

Johnny Storm gets a 4.33 as his final score. It's actually a decent score for what's supposed to be the weakest figure from the set. While my classic styled vintage Johnny Storm custom is a decent place holder, I would like to see a classic styled Johnny Storm to compliment the Walgreens set. (That also frees up a Reed buck for a Bagman custom) I also would like to see a flamed on version of the Human Torch using the Kaine body.

 I didn't take many pictures because he's just a bland vanilla "secret identity" figure. Also the default figure having only two fists makes it a bit too hard to Posen various funny or social styled pics. And since we're talking about depowered versions of characters I would love to have IB powered Iceman and Colossus just to name two characters. I know it's a bit unrelated but since we're talking about a powered off Johnny Storm I thought I should bring that up.

Birthdays on Quarantine suck ass...

Yeah yeah it's my birthday happy birthday me blah blah blah. I got to say that those of us who are having their birthdays during quarantine well this sucks. Especially if you live on your own having a birthday during quarantine royally sucks ass.

You are definitery right, Kim Jong Ir... but not reary.

Sure, having the whole world in the palm of your hands is cool and all that, but what's the point if you can't be with your loved ones. We have to isolate ourselves due to the plague. Even if our loved ones were with us or in my case with me, can't hug them because of Coronavirus...
Feeling a bit blue, which is not cool.

Mar 28, 2020

It came from the Toy Chest: Sue can fade from sight... again?

It seems that it's the Invisible Woman's turn.
Honestly I'm a little bit miffed that this Sue Storm is completely visible. The Walgreens figure has an annoying partially invisible arm.  But more on that later. now this is the part where I talk about how badly miscast was Jessica Alba for this role. Chris Evans totally nailed it as Johnny Storm. Sadly he nailed it a lot better as Captain America so now he can't play Johnny Storm. So basically so you can turn invisible and can create invisible force fields around her or others.

Like Reed before her, Sue shares her body with her Walgreens counterpart. The same issues that plagued the Walgreens figure are present here. Which stem from the inferior female body. But for the sake of fairness Susan is not going to be making crazy martial arts or gymnastic poses like a spider person.

Paint and sculpt:
Like I mentioned before the invisible woman has the same body as to Walgreens version; there are not too many complaints their scope they even use the same head sculpt, though it lools a bit softer. (Moldong issues?)
Only the feet and her hair are new.

BAF piece
Small Invisible Shield that plugs into her hand.

Unlike her Walgreens counterpart which had an extra hand and Herbie the robot. The Invisible Shield this Nifty but it's not mind-blowing. Personally an invisible head would have been a lot better.

Sue gets a 4.0 as her final score. She's a bit of a meh! figure.

Mar 27, 2020

It came from the Toy Chest: Reed Richards is elastic... deja vu?

Walgreens vs Modern
I know that the custom Johnny Storm shown is not
the Walgreens Human Torch. I simply used to custom
instead of torch for the sake of having a Johnny vs Johnny
I believe that Fantastic Four could use a week of Legends reviews, if it wasn't for the fact that this wave is so underwhelming.
Read me charge scientific genius and leader of the team of explorers known as The Fantastic Four. According to the 90s Fantastic Four theme song He's elastic. Then again his nickname is stretch.

Everything the Walgreens Reed Richards can do this one can do as well
That is because both figures share the same body and the same limitations from the Walgreens Richards apply to this figure as well.

Paint and sculpt:
While both figures share the same sculpt, there are some slight differences between them. The head sculpt on the bearded Reed is not the same as the classic Reed. They honestly do not look like the same guy. The sculpting on the shoes is the other big difference.

Here, the Walgreens Reed is far more... Fantastic.  the ultimate nullifier extra stretchy arms are a lot better than hands with stretchy fingers.
but remember when I mentioned that this Reed shares his body with the Walgreens Reed?
Well, if you made either a Johnny Storm or an amazing Bag Man out of a spare Reed Richards body you should have some stretchy arms laying around.
The blues look better in person
If you have two patients you can repaint them and have a modern Reed with the real stretchy arms he deserved.
 otherwise you're stuck with creepy long fingers.
 aside the creepy fingers he comes with a piece for the super skrull.

Reed gets a 4.0 as his final score.  I understand that getting a build a figure and two brand new sculpts on the same wave can drain the budget a little bit. I just wish that his official accessories would have been a bit better.

Dragon's lair, Winds of Winter, other coronavirus related odd news.

A few days ago, Prince Charles was diagnosed with CORONAVIRUS!! Not only that but the British PM, Boris Johnson also has Coronavirus... So far the Queen has not presented any symptoms. Since Charles is in his 70s, he's considered an at risk person with Coronavirus. The queen is not a child of spring either... winter is here and the new spring might mean the era of King William...

I hope you got the not-so-subtle A Song of Ice and Fire references, because there is one good thing about this whole coronavirus thing: George RR Martin has been forced to  work on the Winds of Winter due to the quarantine and self-isolation. It seems that he finally realized that winter is coming for him and coronavirus   could end him. It's good that he's finally riding but at the same time it kind of pisses me off that we needed a global pandemic to make it George write.

Ryan Reynolds... yes that Ryan Reynolds, is working hard to get an adaptation station of Dragon's Lair rolling. It seems that it'll be on Netflix original movie., but I don't know it's Dragon's Lair... how do you make a movie out of Dragon's Lair?  the game when you play it correctly is basically a mini movie. I got it make the Netflix movie a remake of the game but live action!!

Mar 26, 2020

Elton John will host a virtual concert for my Birthday!!!

Not really. It's a concert to help those in self-isolation and quarantined by


Luckily Cardigan Backyardigan is not part of the concert.

Billie Eilish, Alicia Keys, Tim McGraw, Green Day's Billy Joe Armstrong, Mariah Carey, and THE BACKSTREET BOYS will be giving a concert that conveniently falls on my Birthday.

 Normally something like this would have flown under my
Radar, but if they're going to sing aomething, I only want ONE song:

In any case, I hope I'm able to check this out, because I need to let the teenage girl that lives deep don inside of me to have some fun.

COVID-19 and The House of Rants part deux.

Curfew has been extended in Puerto Rico until Easter Sunday. So far the only real limitations I've had so far have been:
-No cinemas to go on my days off. I'm essential at one job, so I have to work.
-Best Buy will remain closed until the 13th (assuming the Curfew isn't extended once again.) Which means no Final Fantasy VII Remake for me. I pre-ordered a physical copy.
No, with my internet, the digital copy might take over a week to download, both PSN and my ISP are throttling speeds to protect the network.
-on my days off I can't go to Walgreens at 1 AM to hunt for Marvel Legends.
-I've had some time to catch up on some recommended anime and older games.

I understand the reasons for the curvy one I agree with them. But I must admit that it kind of stinks a bit that I will be a bit behind on the whole Final Fantasy 7 remake thing... yeah I know priorities. But if there is one thing that is extremely annoying about this whole quarantine thing: children are at home... and they are bored out of their minds. They have loud balls that they bounce around everywhere!!!  I can't sleep without sleeping pills now. But for the sake of beingncordial, I have to pretend that...

While on the inside I'm wondering WWHD... What would Herod do?  it was a joke, One in bad taste but a joke nonetheless. Not advocating for the murder of children, just an off the cuff reaction from a grumpy curmudgeon who wants to sleep.

So I guess that my problems with self-isolation is that my neighbors are self isolated and at home and that irritates me...

Mar 25, 2020

Death Stranding has disappointed SONY... a Hideo Kojima themed rant

As rhe title states, SONY seems to be disappointed with the sales of Death Stranding and the direction that Kojima took with the game. This rumor comes from an unverified source.  I'm commenting on it because if true it actually makes sense. Before, he must Fall From Konami's Grace, he was working on a silent hill project, PT. If I recall correctly he was working with Guillermo del Toro and Norman Reedus  to make a super scary game. After eating up obscene amounts of money and underdelivering in a timely fashion, he was sacked by Konami. Our first pretty much everyone believe that going to me was being stingy and putting in ridiculous unattainable deadlines to Kojima. PT was canned and Metal Gear Solid V last released unfinished.

Shortly after being sacked by Konami and being treated like crap, Kojima made his own company. He started working with Sony to produce the game we now know as Death Stranding. The only pieces we had were some weird creepy Kojima channeling his Silent Hill mode cinematics.
We ended up with a pretentious walking simulator that mixed QWOP with the USPS.

To say that the game got mixed reactions is the nicest way to put it. Personally, I'm not a fan of it. The game feels like an anthology of Hideo's greatest hits WITHOUT being able to mention them.

The problem lies with Kojima overpromising and underdelivering. So, if the rumors are true, then it wasn't Konami's fault. Before anyone claims I'm claiming Konami's innocence, shut up! Konami is no saint, but Kojima if left unchecked, becomes unfocused and acts like a money pit. As much as I've been enjoying ragging on Kojima, it's not about hating him... it's more of hating what he has become: a bloated ego whosr lost his way. If Sony wants to continue this partnership with Kojima they need to put him on a leash.

Mar 24, 2020

Odds and ends March 24, 2020: Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.

Oh my Thanos... Tom Holland has self quarantined and feels a bit ill. It could be CORONAVIRUS, or something else entirely. Regardless it's good that he has gone into self-isolation until he gets better. Hopefully it's nothing serious so here's sending best wishes and fast recovery to Spider-Man... I mean, Tom Holland.

Speaking of Marvel related Stuff. Hasbro's supply chain might get all the CORONAVIRUS kinks fixed by April. Also they saw an uptick on their stocks. This mighr mean that Marvel Legends will begin to roll out smoothly in April. Hopefully I can catch the Stepford Coockoos...  and the upcoming Spider-Man retro wave.

Still on Marvel related news, well not exclusive to Marvel because this also has an effect on DC Comics image IDW etcetera... due to CORONAVIRUS, the Diamond Comics Distributors temporary shutdown announcement has created a tidal wave. If the main comic book distributor is not distributing comics, there are no more physical comics for the time being...

This is scary, because Comics may end up going digital only and that is not good. As much as I hate scalpers and Speculator Market lacking physical copy will bring a huge negative impact to the comic book industry. As much as I hated variant covers and other gimmicks that pushed sales of books will no longer be relevant. And by going digital-only you know what's going to increase right?

Piracy will increase and it may have an adverse effect to the already waning industry.

Mar 23, 2020

A Marvel Legends rant

This rant is not my average Wishlist rant like say: Spit would be a nice ML to have and point out how could he be made. It's  a bit like that, but it will have a bit more commentary than just posting what I want.

Alteregos/secret identities:
I know that theoretically speaking these normally wouldn't sell as well as their costumed versions. But somehow we got more than one "civilian outfit Logan". We've also got in a couple of Tony Starks. So far all of them have been Robert Downey Jr. Starks but it's still Tony Stark. Hell there's even a Mark Ruffalo Bruce Banner figure. And we are getting a Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy.

Where am I going with this?
That it would be nice to get some key characters in their secret identities. For example the recent Super skrull wave (it'll come out of the toy chest soon.) Has grey She-Hulk. It would be cool to have a Jennifer Walters figure before the transformation. All that Hasbro needs to do is take the Mary Jane figure they made for the Toys R Us Spider-Man 2 pack but with a new head in and repaint the body in the gray shirt blue jeans look that She-Hulk has. I've mentioned how easy would be to make a Bruce Banner. Then there are characters like Norman Osborn, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Eddie Brock, etc. that would be cool to have. Also I want an excuse for a trench coat Ben Grimm.

While some of these people can actually make them on their own light using the Walgreens Daredevil Matt Murdock head and a Tony Stark body to make a Matt Murdock, the problem lies on the skin tones. One would have to either Bank the head or the hands to match colors  and that can be a bit complicated to some collectors.

Also having civilian versions of superhero characters can make some interesting displays. For example you have Sentinels attacking New York hunting mutants. You have to display with the X-Men fighting the Sentinels add normal people running away. Among these people you can see Peter Parker taking Pics, Ben Grimm holding some debris from falling on a civilian.

Or an Avengers vs AIM display and among the cicilians, there's a short angry and stabby Canadian. Spider-Man is swinging in civilian cloyhs with only his mask and gloves.

Basically they would be cool Nifty Easter eggs for some displays.

This brings me to my next point which would be supporting characters. We've had various teams of Avengers but we don't have Edwin Jarvis. We don't have an official J Jonah Jameson, Aunt May, Norman Osborn just to name a few characters that can be useful in a Spider-Man display.

Speaking of Displays, We need "playsets". I have lightly touched this when I suggested Arcade with a Murderworld. I suggested murderworld originally because it's small enough and Modular to be a first attempt experiment. Also murderworld can be expanded if Hasbro would release expansion sets which would be smaller play things to add to the original display.

The danger room would be another small place at that could work.  not only that but you can release two or three versions of it with different gimmicks. Like say: Savage Land/Mojoworld Danger Room, Outer Space/Marine simulation Danger Room, Dystopian future/ Genosha war zone Danger Room  all three playsets would come with a "third theme" which is Standard/no holo Danger Room mode. Theoretically speaking all three sets should combine into a deluxe danger room.

So far The X-Men are the only ones who can get away with a playset. Characters like Spider-Man Daredevil or Punisher can get away with third-party generic street, rooftop, and sewer dioramas. Well in Spider-Man's case you can also add high-tech secret lab dioramas.

While you COULD make a Daily Bugle, an Oscorp, or a Fisk Tower playset, they would be limited on the play part of a playset.

Now that I think of it the Fantastic Four could get away with a castle Doom playset. I'm not going to go into the details of a theoretical Castle Doom playset because my brain wants to rip off the hell out of Castle Grayskull.

A Wakanda playset would be kind of cool, so would a Savage Land,  maybe a Hydra headquarters... but sadly many of these would be too obscure for little Timmy and his mom.

Then there's the whole this isn't the 80s were Figures were like $3 and playsets for 20 now figures are 20 and play sets are like $100...

I don't think we'll ever see Vehicles because those can never be made to scale.  for example the Blackbird, it would be roughly nine ft long and almost 5ft wide due to the wingspan. If Unicron barely made it out of the Hasbro pulse lab I don't think this one would.
I think the only vehicle that could officially make it would be the fantasticar and that would be if they stick to the Mark 1 bathtub design. Maybe the villain known as Big Wheel but it's a big freaking wheel.

 I don't think they can come up with any more Wolverine figures right?
Astonishing X-Men, new X-Men,bone claws feral Wolverine, oh dammit!

Mar 21, 2020

Death Stranding's Norman Reedus sucks at grocery shopping

Sam Porter Bridges might be prepared for a post Death Stranding world, but a simple task of buying groceries is too complicated for him. Norman Reedus is very useless without a Bridge Baby.
All he had to do was buy two weeks worth of non-perishable food. He ends up buying boxes of potatoes.

I was half expecting him to bring like two weeks worth of Monster Energy drink and maybe a couple pizzas and grubs... as in the insects...

Fixing the New New Warriors.

After many hours of thinking why these new new warriors suck donkey dick, I decided that I shouldn't be negative about them and try to B-Positive about them.
So, here are some ideas on how to fix the New New Warriors.

First ditch the Ben 10 wannabe look. Maybe have a Tron inspired Outfit. Replace the Cyclops visor with a Helmet. Think Mysterio here. His helmet would display emojis, memes, whatever info he needs his teammates to see. I'd give him the ability to generate holograms like Mysterio.
Everything he sees is automatically live streamed... hence the name screentime.

I would definitely eliminate the internet gas origin. Instead, his grandfather was working on some AR related stuff for one of the many companies in Marvel and in a Spidey vs Electro fight, a power surge by the latter caused the kid to be permanently connected to the internet.

I wanted to rename him Meme Lord and make him a total asshat.

The Twins:
Blue can be a non binary person. But they don't need to remind us every page about it. I would make them a weeb.
Hence the snowflake shuriken and Icicle Kunai blades. (Upgrade!!) Their outfit would be based on the original design, but "NARUTOFIED" to reflect their inspiration for heroes. Much to Screentime's chagrin, they insist in calling themselves Kori which is ice in Japanese and cultural appropriation on their part.

Pink is also a weeb, because fuck you.  Just kidding, it's due to the Xamot/Tomax twin-link. Their weebness runs on each other. Despite being athletic and all that he loves to binge watch Fist of the North Star and JoJo's Bizarre Adventures. His outfit is a "JOJOFIED" version of the horrible original design. (Polnareff and Dio being the main inspiration) his energy shields behave like stand that cannot be used offensively. He can only use it to protect others. He can't use them offensively, because the shields end up protecting the enemy.
He calls himself Shirudo to Screentime's chagrin.

In an encounter with Deadpool, the Merc with a mouth christens them as Snowflake and Safespace, a pejorative nickname that stuck to them thanks to Screentime's automatic live feeds.

First I'd ditch the Hordak look. I'd make the white pants red. And I wouldn't make him the emo/goth character. He would do the brooding thing just to call attention, but he'd be borderline histrionic and narcissistic... because vampire. Also he'd be the team's horndog, again, vampire. He will try to fuck anything that walks, heroes, villains, victims. Also the vampire cliche about requiring to suck a blood frenzy when he's hungry or when he suck too much you know the usual...

Nix the magic backpack. She can create portals to a different dimension, but she can only open these portals from within non transparent containers smaller than a large suitcase.  Her outfit would still be laughably bad, but I would add pouches and zippers. (The portal zippers are not a JoJo reference). The idea is that she's not going for Aesthetics, just practicality. Also, a not so subtle jab against Rob Liefeld and Tetsuya Nomura.

I'd give her the code name Surprise, since whatever she can pull out of the portal is a random item.

And a little official in for that marvelous giving seems that she's an orphan. A part of her character arc would be trying to find out where she belongs. She looks Native American but has no idea to which tribe her ancestry comes from. Unlike the African slaves weave whose descendants became African American, she has a chance to connect to her past. Something that her Partners the twins cannot do and that's why they put extra effort in helping her find herself.

As they are in their official snippets, they seem like one note flawless propaganda pieces instead of characters.
I tried to make them a bunch of cringy, FLAWED, unlikable parodies of what Marvel attempted in order to make them likable. In backpack girl's case, I chose to eliminate her problematic aspects and gave her the potential for a good character Arc; but most importantly, they suck at their job.
Ask they learn the ropes of the hero business they're going to be failing a lot: clashing personalities, egos getting bruised, teammates getting physical against each other... (fights and sexually...) they are hormonal teenagers with attitude, to borrow a phrase from Power Rangers. As they begin to trust in each other, their heroics would improve.

The idea is to show growth and not be a one note character like *cough*America Chavez*cough*Modern Carol Danvers*cough* but I'm not a  writer, so what do I know?

Mar 20, 2020

Marvel's New New Warriors looks like garbage.

Hold on to your butts, because we're getting a look at the newest version of the new Warriors.
This Asian Ben Tennyson  is called Screentime. His powers:
 He's connected to the internet, literally. Basically he can surf the Internet in a permanent state of augmented reality. He can access Google Translate Google Maps, pretty much any website instantly, if you know what I mean... dude's totally watching porn all the time. I know it, you know, it my best friend's by my right yeah! I'm willing to bet he'll be a treasure Trove of dated internet references and all your base are belong to him!

Okay so if his brain is literally connected to the internet and he gets a virus do we give him medicine or do we install Norton Antivirus Norton AntiVirus on him?

These non-binary twins whpbare wearing lame roller derby outfits/surfing bodysuits are Snowflake and Safespace.

 Snowflake a non Japanese person, who can fire ice shurikens. Can we say apropiacion cultural? Cultural appropriation! Has a psychic bond with the sibling, who can create pink force fields to protect other people.
One of the people who created these characters said that the twins complement and mirror each other. On that internet code for please R34 gods make porn of them so they can become popular!!

Theoretically speaking their powers aren't so bad. It's just that they were superhero names and outfits suck donkey balls. I find the idea of a hero that can make force fields to protect others but unable to protect himself is interesting. But at the same time it would force this character into a supportive role and never an active role. The ice twin powers are a bit on the pathetic side to be honest. It's a very limited scope for cryomancy and they're already existing characters that have much better ice powers.

This lame morbius/hordak hybrid it's called B-Negative.
Get it? It's funny because it's  a blood type and he's the resident Goth/Emo...

He received a blood transfusion from Morbius. Now he's a teenage vampire. And to make matters worse he is inspired by the second worst version of morbius:

He has the hand sucker things from the Animated Series.
I hope he is not into things that can make a young teen go blind... and get hairy palms... if you know what I mean.

Estoy guardando lo peor para lo ultimo.  I am saving the worst for last.

 a person of color wearing a pink top and a magic backpack that has inside whatever you need...

But the biggest issue with her is not her weight, so idiotic reader, don't try the fat-shamed BS here. The second biggest issue with her is that her name is Trailblazer and she looks Native American... The whole Trail of Tears thing is a bit too on the nose, but it's not the real issue. The biggest issue is that a Native American Character has Magical Powers. The only positive I can say is that her outfit that it is not a Native American stereotype.

It looks like they're trying way too hard with this. and once again the main problem with Comics today is showing: the so-called created are trying to force faux progressive  propaganda into the story and characters instead of making good characters and story and then Progressive message.

 Also who the hell looks at these and says: " you know what we need Marvel Legends versions of these guys!"?

Mar 19, 2020

PS5 so far is only backwards compatible with PS4

It's a bit disappointing. So far Sony has borderline guaranteed that the top 100 best selling PS4 gamrs should run smoothly on PS5. What I am disappointed about is the lack of PS1 and PS2 backwards compatibility. I KNOW that emulators ecist for both consoles and it shouldn't be a huge problem for SONY. I understand that the CELL processor can't be easily emulated, hence the reason I didn't mention PS3 in the backwards compatibility consoles.

 I know what some of you are thinking: "With the power of the PS5 why would I want to bother playing those janky old PS1 and PS2 games."
 First: I love some of those Yankee old PS1 and PS2 games!
Second: Some of those titles are worthy of looking back reviews.
Third: If Microsoft can do it for their XBox consoles, SONY should be able to do it as well.

Mar 17, 2020

Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriations of She-Ra is finally ending! May 15

And it's TWO seasons, not 5. 52 episodes is 2 seasons the 5 season claim is some Netflix bullshit.
Now I'm torn. On one hand, I'm glad this Bastardization is ending. On the other hand the "4th season" was where the show really started to turn good... by good, I mean it started to resemble what a She-Ra show is supposed to be.
Hopefully, the second half of Season 2 of this pale... sorry, faux diverse imitation ends up decently and we can get a real She-Ra reboot. Preferably one with actual toys that are not a single wave of dolls that quickly reached the clearance aisle on a single US only retailer.

But all snark aside, 2 true seasons is NOT a big deal. That's one of the most common outcomes. It's the better outcome than the normal 26 episodes. But compared to OTHER Netflix exclusives that got "8 seasons", She-Ra got the short end of the proverbial stick.

The show had so much potential, but it was horribly wasted. You can eliminate "season 1" and half of "season 2" and the show wouldn't be heavily affected. By rhat I mean that these seasons were Filler!! And for a show that has a Limited Timeframe known from the srart, well... Filler episodes are a waste. While I have my gripes with story direction, character designs, the show's crew being more interested in tooting their own horn of faux progressiveness than making an excellent product; all of these pale in comparison when put up against filler.

Sadly, this means that I shall have one last Shit-REEEEE! rant before I can forget this faster than the Twilight Saga bool and movie reviews  I neber finished. And to be honest I would rather not finish them because that would imply having to reread the books and re-watch the movies. So no thanks!

It came from the Toy Chest: This custom wants Pictures of Spider-Man!

As the title states, this custom wants Pictures of Spider-Man!!  J. Jonah Jameson, who was teased as a Chameleon disguise for Marvel Legends is now an unofficial figure.
One that Hasbro could easily make. MCU Klaw body, Spider-Man forearms. (Custom used 6 arm Spidey flesh colored forearms) and Chameleon JJJ head. Add some extra hands, maybe a new accessory in the shape of a rolled up copy of The Daily Bugle and call it a day.

Credits for the custom are slightly complicated, because I bought the body and the head from different people via ebay.

J.Jonah Jameson, former Editor in Chief of the Daily Bugle, and Spider-Man's biggest foe. No really, he helped in the creation of Scorpion and funded the original Spider Slayers by Spencer Smythe, In addition to his scathing editorials against the Webhead. Ironically, Jameson ended up becoming Spider-Man's relative after his father married Aunt May. Then there's the whole Mattie Franklin being a Spider-Woman also being JJJ's neice/adopted child.
(Speaking of Mattie, where is her action figure, dammit!)

So, in a nutshell, J.Jonah Jameson isa staple in a Spider-Man collection. With this custom I fill in a huge gap. I would also like a Joe Robertson and a Betty Brant... especially since we ARE getting a Peter Parker figure... which was the main reason for me to buy the pieces to make JJJ... and when I saw an already modded Klaw body, I knew I had to jump at this. (It was far cheaper than buying a Klaw and a 6-arm Spidey.)
JJJ: Whether awake or asleep,
that Wall-Crawling menace haunts me...

It retains most of the articulation from the Klaw body. He won't be doing Kung fu or anything super actiony, but he can be posed. His removable vest causes some articulation loss.
JJJ VO: Taunting me, mocking me!
Spidey: Easy there, chuckles! You might rip
your Hitlerstache!

Paint and sculpt 
I painted the blue tie red, just to differentiate him a bit more from Klaw. Remember that I don't have a steady hand. Other than that, the paintjob on the Klaw body is effective. The 6 arm Spidey arms, while not an exact mat, they work. Also, the Shang-Chi hands are close enough to work for the naked eye. The JJJ head looks great. That half snarl face that looks like he's screaning GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!! I'm surprised Hasbro hasn't made him yet.
JJJ:PARKER!! I know it's Halloween
and you're in the middle of a date but...
Peter: What's wrong Mr.Jameson!
Peter: But Mr. Jameson...
JJJ: No buts, Parker! Get.Me.Pictures.Of.Spider.Man.

This is a Custom Figure I assembled from different people's fodder. I painted the tie so I could feel like I did some work on it. Therefore, it has no official accessories.
JJJ VO: Now you will know my biggest shame.
JJJ: Not so fast, evil-doers! Spider-Man is here!
I can do whatever a Spider-can!
Robbie (off screen): Jonah? Are you OK in there?
Please tell me you're NOT wearing that Spider-Man suit
that someone found in a dumpster.

Triple J gets a 4.5 as his final score. The person who was selling the body did most of the job. Mostly dealing with the elbow joints. All I did was paint a tie and pop on a head.

It came from the Toy Chest: Not full version Goblin

The D is for Demon, not Demonstration...
Originally, a Demon bound to Jason Macendale (a Hobgoblin and Jack o Lantern.) The demon was incompatible with Macendale, so it split and became its own entity. Eventually it died and was bound to Shriek...
So Demogoblin is now a female.

Theoretically speaking, as I don't have any Hasbro goblin figure; his articulation is similar to that of Hobgoblin Green Goblin.

Paint and sculpt:
Demogoblin has plenty of new parts and very little remains from his Goblin brethren... boots, torso, cape being the main reused parts. Gloves and head are new, which makes him feel unique. On my figure that brings up is pretty good. I've seen figures that had issues on the head.

Glider with Stand. The stand is ugly but functional. It supports demogoblin even if the glider is tilted at an angle. Sadly he does not have any pumpkin bombs. I understand with him being a build a figure accessories would be minimal... but at least he came with his glider on like symbiote Norman. 5.0


Demogoblin gets a 4.83 as his final score. I wish he had a little bit of extra articulation like the butterfly joint at the shoulders, which would allow for better poses in the glider.

Mar 16, 2020

Wrestling and COVID-19

Everything is being hit with COVID-19 panic. AEW is allowing wrestlers to stay home due to the concerns regarding COVID-19 WITHOUT repercussions. They will keep on doing shows with the remaining members on the roster.

Vince is also using "The show must go on" mentality, but taking it to ridiculous extremes.

One thing is having Smackdown! or RAW in empty arenas. But WRESTLEMANIA on an empty arena is an insult to Wrestlemania. Not to mention the whole refunding hassle.

Personally I believe they should have postponed Wrestlemania. When your empty arenas look worse than a PS1 game, I'd say it's time to cancel and rethink your strategy.

SONY wants to get 3 things out of Konami...

Or so says an online rumor... What are these properties that SONY WANTS?
Silent Hill is one of them.
Castlevania is the second one...
The Third one is:
A Hideo Kojima game...
No, not QWOPmazon Prime... THE Hideo Kojima game...
No, it's not Boktai. It isn't Snatcher either. Policenauts is the wrong answer.

Metal Gear!?
Yes, especially Metal Gear.

It would be pretty exciting if Sony would get a hold of those three properties. Right now Konami is doing nothing with them. This could also mean that we could get remakes of the original 2 MSX games with a moderm twist. in addition that Hideo Kojima could collaborate with the production of the metal gear games... (and SONY could keep Hideo on a leash to avoid another MGSV issue. Sadly we wouldn't get David Hayter back, because of Hideo's ego.) While I'm not a fan of Silent Hill, I do hope that fans can get the best game they deserve. If I recall correctly Kojima was working on a silent hill game before it was cancelled and Hideo got sacked. Also a new Castlevania Game would be very welcome.

But this is only a rumor and rumors can either be true or they can be a bunch of bullshit. Hopefully this is the former rather than the latter.

Mar 14, 2020

COVID-19 and The House of Rants...

The entire world is feeling the effects of COVID-19 or Coronavirus as it's commonly known. Mattel has suffered delays. Super7 recently sent an e-mail to address the COVID-19 situation and Comic Book Conan has been delayed yet again.

The release of the Bastardization of Mulan has been delayed, Fast and Furious 9 was delayed. Production on various series from Netflix, Disney Plus and others have been delayed. Hell even Batpattz was delayed. E3 was cancelled and DISNEY has closed down their parks.

When THE MOUSE IS WILLING TO LOSE BILLIONS, you know shit just got real. I'm worried that my duties outside the house of rants my suffer some negative effects. The blog will most likely carry on as normal. I'm one She-Hulk away from completing Super Skrull and I may use that wave as material for the next few weeks since COVID-19 is having an adverse effect on things I would've ranted about. Currently I'm repainting the Ben Grimm figure, because I hate the default paint job. And no I did not take pictures of him before, because of how awful that paintjob is.

Biggest fear next to ACTUALLY getting infected is that this postpones the physical release of FFVIIR. In any case, wash your hands, try to avoid crowds and stay safe. And if you hoarded toilet paper, remember that David Carradine died for his fap...

As of Sunday, March 15 a Curfew has been established from 9pm-5am with most businesses closing at 6PM. This is not necessarily good for me, but at the same time, it's not necessarily super bad for me.

Mar 13, 2020

It came from the Toy Chest: Falling down this Rabbit Hole is bad unless it is consensual.

It's not my fault that the only remark regarding White Rabbit involves falling inside her hole. Which can be considered sexist, pro-rape, and Me soggy knee stick... you don't want that.

 So, who is the White Rabbit? A rich girl. Obsessed with girl Alice in Wonderland, Lorina Dodson turned to crime out of boredom.
She even hung out with Arcade for a while. Also, she was foiled once by a Mary Jane Watson. Then again, the Chameleon was once beaten by Aunt May.

She has the standard Female Articulation. The articulation is not hindered by her coat.

Paint and sculpt:
Rabbit has a couple of new pieces that make her accurate to the source Material. But being brutally honest I only got her for three reasons:
-To make a joke about her hole.
-To get the Demogoblin Glider
-To make Penguin Jokes due to her Gunbrella.
WR: "I'm late! I'm late!"
Nefty: "Words that no guy wants to hear after sticking
their D in crazy..."
WR:"For a very important date!"
Nefty: "Oh, you're quoting the Other D! Don't!"
Herr Maus: "Someone is using my property without permission! Ha-ha!
Duck, Anthro Dog, get him!"
Herr Ente: *unintelligible duck noises*
Herr Hundemann: "Gwarsh! He's fuh-hyucked!"
Herr Maus: "We don't use that kind of language, Ha-ha! Oh Toodles! Bring me the Torture device!"

BAF Piece
She could have benefited from an extra pair of hands or an extra head without the rabbit ears and makeup.
Batman: She's ripping off the Penguin!
Spidey: And?
Batman: She's more pleasant to look at than Penguin!
wanna trade?
Spidey: This trade is unfair towards you...
Add a Billy Batson and I give you a Carol Danvers...
WR: are you guys TRADING ME!?

White Rabbit gets a 3.0 as her final score. While it's nice to see that Hasbro is willing to do obscure characters, her execution is the bit lacking. With her out of the way, I can tackle the BAF himself on the next episode...

It came from the Toy Chest: Everynody was Kung Fu Fighting!

While I'm reviewing the Demogoblin wave, I had to look for info about Shang Chi, because all I knew was: Chinese Martial Artist to exploit the Kung Fu fever of the era. As the son of Fu Manchu, I expect a MASSIVE RETCON for his MCU appearance. basically using a different name that is not Fu Manchu due to a racist connotations of that name.
So basically Shang-Chi is like a super Bruce Lee.

Shang-Chi  seems to be using a modified Kane body. That gives him articulations similar to that of Spider-Man. The only thing missing is a peg hole in his bag to use third-party stands in order to pull off flying kicks.

paint and sculpt 
 the paint is minimal but effective and he has nipples painted on. This is a rarity in action figures. Like I mentioned before this called is mostly reused I think the new pieces are literally his head and ankles.

BAF piece
2 nunchucks
A buttload of hands:
Nunchaku grip pair
Karate chop pair
Fist pair
Kung fu claw pair
Boob grabbing pair... wait that's sexist, other Kung fu claw pair...
The only complaint I have about his accessories is the nunchucks. One set, real chain. That's what we needed.
Ken: Don't act like you don't know us, Fei Long!
Shang-Chi: Who?
Ryu: Ken, not all Asians look the same. Don't  be racist towards Quick Kick!
Shang-Chi: What now?
Ken: That's not Quick Kick, that's Liu Kang!!
Ryu: Fuck Liu Kang and all those Mortal Kombat bitches!
Shang-Chi: I'm from Marvel, dammit!

Shang-Chi gets a 4.67 as his final score. For being a character that I don't care about he has been the shining star of this wave.

Mario + LEGO = a weird not quite Duplo, but too big to be normal LEGO boardgame?

It'sa Me! MARIO!! But in a-LEGO! So long gay Bowser! That's what he says in the N64 game...

As you can see in the video above that Lego sets are basically pieces to form a sort of Mario board game. The only details I've got are what's on the video which is not much. It seems like an interesting gimmick, but I'm more worried about the price point since Lego sets tend to be kind of expensive.

I got to be honest I'm kind of curious on how it plays. I'm sure it'll be something very simplistic because it's a legal board game and it's Mario. Which means that they target audience skews a little bit to the younger side.

When I heard that there was a Mario themed Lego set this was not what I was expecting. I was expecting something along the lines of standard Minifigures mini playsets and larger-scale playsets that you cpuld combine to create your Mario worlds.

We shall see once more info and details show up.

Mar 12, 2020

The Saved By The Bell sequel is really happening or something.

They are even picking up the trash. As you can see on the pic above Mark-Paul Gosselaar is turning into Trash.
Before I get rabid responses from 30-40-somethings whining about Zack Morris not being Trash but he's a blond Tom Cruise, Zack Morris himself has stated that Zack Morris is trash. He also likes the Zack Morris is trash series.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Zack Morris.

Can I make fun of Zack Morris' Half-Karen hairstyle in that pic, or is it too offensive since Mark-Paul is part Asian?

Also, as a Latino, can I call Mario Lopez a douchebag, or is that racist? I have to ask these questions because of Stupid people who get bent out of shape for any silly remark.

I guess mentioning that Tiffani Thiessen is still Hot as Hell is a big no-no. Or that Zack's life-size Kelly poster was the awesomest and creepiest thing ever? Wait, I can get points for calling it creepy?

In any case, I won't be able to see the Saved by the bell sequel/spin-off  because I'm not getting another streaming app.

Once Cyberpunk 2077 is out... A New Witcher game will begin development

So, September will be the conception date for the Not The Witcher 4. This might mean that a PS5 and XBox Series X will be getting a Witcher game. With the novels jumping back and forth in the timeline, a 4th Witcher game not being a follow-up to Witcher 3 doesn't bother me at all.
I hope they can deliver a more polished experience than Witcher 3. I love the game, but it's buggy as hell.

In any case, when more info shows up, I'm going to be paying a closer eye to it. Now they could add a Cavill alternate look for Geralt.

It came from the Toy Chest: Marvel's Creepy Old man in green tights...

Of course I'm talking about Adrian "Vulture" Toomes. Old man who built a flying harness and lives a life of crime, when he should be home watching Springer, The Price is Right, or whatever old people do. Oh no, now I'm an ageist... but yeah, Vulture is an Old School character and the last of the Sinister six to be made in Marvel Legends. Sadly, I don't have an Electro to complete the six.
We need flight stands.

Vulture seems to be built in the pizza Spidey body, whose posability we have discussed a lot.  The new pieces are head arms and neck fluff. The new elbows and biceps are a bit stiff. With the wings attached his articulation is slightly hindered. And they fall off every time you try to pose him. I'm tempted to glue them on him. (Ended up gluing only the Bicep peices.)
I know they are backwards.
I just wish they looked the same on both sides 

paint and sculpt 
Since he's mostly park reviews there isn't that many new details added to the sculpt. The wings are a mixed bag. One side looks way too smooth and the other looks like a cheap bootleg.
Everything else looks nice... for a geriatric criminal wearing green tights.
The Ultimate Helmet would look
cool if it would fit his head.

Aside the BAF piece? Nothing, zip, zilch, nada, the big goose egg. Oh wait, there's a Helmeted head for Toomes. It was meant to be a Blackie Drago head but it looks like Adrian Toomes.

Vulture gets a 3.83 as his final score. Had his wings been a bit more detailed, or the extra head had been a Blackie Drago head, he'd have fared higher.