Jan 31, 2013

Roseanne Barr.., KRANG?

Hopefully the being known as Kraang Prime will be similar to the being called Krang on the series known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from the time known as the 80s... Is going to be played by Roseanne Barr... This is cool, but I can't wait to see this season finale.

Also, check out what Playmates toys is churning... TMNT Classics Rocksteady and Bebop!
Holy Crap!
I SO WANT THESE!! Even if I don't have the Classic TMNT... these would work fine vs the NECA Turtles that I own...

On the new series Turtle toys side there's a 7pack of Mousers coming... 7 mousers in one set... can you say army builder? Throw in the old Vintage Mouser (or Mama Mouser in this case)

and you have Mouser Heaven... since the new Toitles are in scale with the old ones, you can finally have actual Mousers that are IN-Scale to the vintage toys... it's a win win, uh win scenario! Look out Mattel, cause Playmates is making me want to throw money at them...

Jan 30, 2013

Why Man of Steel MUST not suck.

I'm not a huge Superman fan. Yes I do enjoy some of his adventures and supporting characters, but I'm more of a Batman fan. Superman's too super for my tastes.

I'm afraid for the Man of Steel movie. Yes, I'm afraid it may flop like Superstalker Returns did...

Yeah... that one...

His movie musn't suck cause Truth, Justice and the American way! (or something)
Why Superman's movie musn't suck:

1- Superman is THE Superhero... He is not MY FAVORITE, but I can't take that from him. If THE Superhero can't have A Decent movie (aside Superman and Superman II with Christopher Reeve) then he is not relevant enough... I truly fear a world without Superman.

2-The weight of the entire Justice League movie IS on his shoulders. I did mention this earlier in the week. Like I said, so far out of the Justice League members that had movies so far, only Batman hasn't flopped. Unlike Marvel's Avengers whose movies were pretty awesome (aside Hulk, cause there seems to be a sick and twisted joke with changing Banner in every movie)

3- DC NEEDS to market other characters that are NOT Batman... sure, relying on Superman is still kinda playing it safe, but Returns flopped, Green Lantern flopped, Wonder Woman can't even get a TV show made... Aside Batman, the only DC Character who has had some good luck is Green Arrow... but that's mostly cause he's the "Cheap knock-off" Batman when DC can't use Batman. So, in order for DC to top Marvel in the Movie Department, they NEED good movies with their characters.

Aside the reasons mentioned above, I really hope that the movie doesn't suck, even if I don't feel the grittier Superman thing...

Stop Violence in games: Stop being a lazy parent and do parenting!

Ugh! Looks like the parenting groups are rising again against videogames... Yes, there have been some issues with the whole shooting on that school. Yes, that was awful and precautions must be taken to avoid that to happen. Obviously now people begin to play "the blame game"... Obviously the first things they are quickly blaming are movies and videogames.

Yes, the above are two examples of violent games. Should they be "banned". NO... I may not like Call of Duty, but it shouldn't be banned.

Here's the thing, you don't want your kids playing violent games, right?
Well, there's a lot of stuff you CAN Do! For starters:
BE A PARENT!! Do your homework.
The Entertainment Software Ratings Board: (ESRB) is the non-profit, self-regulatory body that assigns ratings for video games and apps so parents can make informed choices. The ESRB rating system encompasses guidance about age-appropriateness, content, and interactive elements.

In other words they're the MPAA of videogames. The same way movies have ratings so do videogames...

So OK, you have done the research and have determined that Crush, Kill, Destroy is not appropriate to Little Timmy, but Timmy wants it. You must once again BE A PARENT and say NO! You can go with a couple of options here. The Cause I said so (not the best approach) or you can go into detailed explanation on why you won't buy Timmy the game.

You know that Timmy is probably figuring out a way how to play the game behind your back, at school, at a friend's, or somewhere else. That is out of your control, right? Not exactly...
Sure, you can't go to Jimmy's house and stop Timmy from playing Crush Kill Destroy, but here's where the Parenting thing should kick in. If you did the parenting correctly and gave your child a strong moral compass, Timmy WILL NOT Play the game.

There is another path, one that is a bit more radical, that not necessarily MAY Work. That is buying the game and playing it with Timmy, while helping him understand the difference between Reality and Fiction.

The problem is that all of these options are too much work! Parents have too much work and so little time to be parents and expect the TV, the Gaming Console and the Internet to be nannies. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. It's not the game companies', the game store's, or the Government's responsibility to control what games people CAN Play... That decision is determined by the Responsible Adults in each household... (in most cases THE PARENTS) The same way I don't make decisions in YOUR HOUSEHOLD, you can't override MY Choices of games, because I AM AN ADULT. Banning the violent games is basically letting a group of people tell you WHAT YOU CANNOT Enjoy and taking it away from you because of some people trying to avoid doing their parental duties.

Again, the tools are there for the parents to do their part. THEY are the ones that need to ENFORCE THE RATINGS. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go stomp on some turtles and eat sewer Mushrooms in order to get laid!

Jan 29, 2013

The Topangaborn has been chosen...

Holy crap! Today's been a day filled with tons of news! Now we have a face attached to the Topangaborn!

The child of Cory and Topanga

Now we have the Girl, all that the Production Crew needs to do is build the world for her to meet...
Hopefully they will NOT use the DC Comedy mold, cause we've talked about that already
I DO see some resemblance to her TV Parents and have a little bit of faith knowing that the Original show's creator is working on GMW... The same one that brought us THIS!

So, yeah, SOME of my fears have been eliminated... still, the interference from the Rodent Mafia scares me...

In any case, I'll be keeping my eye on this cause I love Boy Meets World and I wonder how good is the sequel going to be... and maybe this could spawn a new sequel for the kids form Indiana that Magically ended up in California...

My Little Pony: Twilight a Princess!?

Hoo boy! How can I start this rant?

Don't worry this will be the only Zelda reference I'll make aside Twilight Princess...

This is the perfect BGM to read the following quote
 Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, there was one socially awkward Unicorn named Twilight Sparkle. She was sent to Ponyville by the almighty Princess Celestia, to learn about the Magic of Friendship. In Ponyville she befriended 5 VERY SPECIAL Ponies, Applejack, the honest earth Pony, Fluttershy, the kindest of all Pegasi, Rainbow Dash fastest and loyalest of all ponyfolk, Rarity, the Generous Unicorn, and Pinkie Pie who brought the joy of laughter to everypony. With their powers combined, Twilight could wield the Elements of Harmony, a powerful magic to protect the ponies of Equestria. During her stay in Ponyville, Twilight and friends learned a lot about the magic of Friendship. Now, Twilight will ascend as an Alicorn Princess, like Celestia, Luna (Formerly known as Nightmare Moon) and Princess Mi Amore a Cadenza, Twilight's Sister-in-Law.

Seriously!? Not only they made up an extra princess (Cadance) for season 2 and gave her a new Kingdom on Season 3 (the Crystal Empire), but now they have to "ascend" Twilight!? This reeks more of a Marketing ploy than something from the cartoon. and speaking of Marketing...

There is a Twilight that is going to do THAT and MORE...

(My Reaction to the $50 Twilight Sparkle)

Annnnnnnnnnnd! she's getting her own castle... or an expansion to the Royal wedding set... and the only way to GET a SPECIAL Playful Pony Princess Twilight...

They're also releasing a Bipedal Spike (with a car and yet another Rarity... still not sure if PTS is coming in that set as well.If she does, then I'd be Lucky to kill 2 birds with one stone... Also, I'd be gettign YET ANOTHER Rarity... Least Favorite Pony, but I own more versions of her than anypony else!)

Remember my Celestia and Luna sets? Well Cadance is coming in one of those sets with a Silly Pony
and We're gonna have our very own Class in Stress Relief cause P. Twilight Sparkle is coming with Rainbow Dash...

I fear that this "ascension"  may be the cause of the show to be renamed to My Little Pony: Shark Jumping is Magic... I know, jumping to conclusions is bad, but all signs are pointing towards Shark Jumping... I wanna be wrong with this!

What's next!? 6" GI Joes?

Hasbro is making 6" Star Wars toys... Something that I've wanted for years and never happened. I kinda expected THAT to happen back when they got Marvel Legends (although I was rooting more for a 6" GI Joe line)... Hopefully these guys are successful enough for me to get the characters that I want... A New Hope Luke (not the X-Wing pilot Luke), Darth Vader, R2D2, C3PO, Han Solo, Yoda, Leia, and maybe Lando Carlissian...

Seriously, 6" GI Joes might be super amazing... Not to mention how they could also work as Army Builders for other Toylines and bases for other customs... Ooh! a 6" Cobra Commander would be so freaking sweet! then again I prefer the 6" to the 3 3/4" folks, so I may be a minority...
The only ways these can flop are: Too expensive, or that they reduce the articulation that makes them not worth it... May the Force and the Articulation will be with them

Odds and ends 1/29/2013 "amazing" Spider-Douchebag 2

Rhino is going to be the second villain, apparently... We have Jamie Foxx as Electro and now Paul Giamatti as The Rhino.

This guy... who is an AMAZING Actor... is going to be playing THIS GUY

Paul Giamatti is the first person I think of when you say: THE RHINO

Well, Looks like WB is still taking baby steps to make that Justice League movie... They're gonna wait and see how Supermoodyhoboman does... Sure, it's a bit prudent to do so, but they also have Green Floptern, then non-Bale Batman... I don't blame them for taking it slowly... but taking it too slowly would cause them to lose steam and have the JL project crumble before it even starts.

Remember that Amazing Megaman Fan Film I posted many moons ago? well... How about a Sonic the Hedgehog fan movie...

and yes before you ask, they got the Original Sonic to do the voice!

Ponies are invading Japan...

I wonder if Japan is ready for ponies...

The video with the proof that Japan is getting ponies...
I don't know who should be more afraid of this... Japan or the Ponies.
Why do I ask that? We're talking about Japan here... Land of the Samurai, the Ninja (believe it!) Tentacle Monsters and Flying Panties...

I knew I was going to have an excuse to post the Flying Panties video soon!

Or the poopburgers... It's a good thing that I will NOT Post the Tentacle Monster...
The scariest part is what Japan MAY do to ponies... and no I'm not talking about porn here... The internet already corrupted MLP enough as it is... Anything that Japan may try on that area may not be that shocking anymore.
I'm talking about the Japanization of Ponies... We saw it with the Powerpuff girls... I'm afraid of a Card Game series of Moe Ponies... Poor Fluttershy... OK I'm so gonna watch the Japanese dub... cause Ponies and I'm curious of how'd they sound in Japanese. Don't tell anyone that a small part of me wants to see what Japan could do if THEY could do MLP...

There is also the possibility that Japan would reject ponies... I don't know what could be worse, acceptance or rejection...

Jan 28, 2013

Let's go and meet the Bronies, or how John DeLancie is as awesome as Tara Strong

Watch the video and Listen... Yes, that IS John DeLancie

THAT John DeLancie... who also plays Discord on My Little Pony...

Q is the weird freaky mish-mash of animals that you see here... Discord, Chaos ponified...
While this rant started mostly to promote the heck out of that song, it made me look back on my relationship with My Little Pony...
As a wee child in the 80s I did watch My Little Pony (g1), My Little Pony and Friends in one of the various cartoon blocks that existed for 80s kids... IIRC MLP was Before He-Man or She-Ra... (Note: PR cartoon blocks not necessarily where the same as those on the US) Around the time MLP went to MLP Tales... I was avoiding any "Girly toons" so, I did miss out on that.

Now in my Adulthood I had a few run-ins with My Little Pony... I'm talking about the EVIL g3...

After watching that, if you asked me if I LIKED My Little Pony, I would probably grab a sword and shove it down your throat...
Fast Forward to October 10,2010 when the Fourth Generation of My Little Pony began... I was working as a Temp CS Rep at a Satellite Company and it was weird that people kept asking for the channel known as The Hub (formerly the American Discovery Kids... need to emphasize this because here in PR there was the American DK, now The Hub and Latin American Discovery Kids that didn't start showing MLP until Late 2011) but back to the main story. While trying to sell the packages to customers, many adult males asked me about The Hub... I knew about it and that they had G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, and the G! of Trnasformers, not to mention new versions of GI Joe and Transformers. Incredibly enough, many were asking JUST for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Let's see... After my time as a Temp for that company ended, I still hadn't seen this new My Little Pony... My brain only associated MLP with the early 00s Awful G3. Now, let's fast Forward to April 8th, 2011... Friday. there's this nerd blog that I read called Topless Robot and they had a series of articles called Fan Fiction Friday; where awful erotic fan fiction was criticized by the site's editor. He-Man, Spider-Man, Harry Potter all of those characters have been victims of bad fan fiction that was criticized at TR. On April 8, 2011 there was a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic "reviewed". the story's titled: A Class in Stress Relief. Long story short, Twilight is stressed and Rainbow Dash helps her release that stress by having sex with her. But it had a twist that both Twi and Dashie were turned into humans... and Dashie was turned into a dude... Now I could have read it have a few laughs at the absurdity and call it a day... Oh no sir, I FORCED Myself to watch the First Episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic... It was a two parter, so I watched the next Episode... then I ended up watching Ticketmaster, Applebuck Season, Griffon the brush-off, Boastbusters and Dragonshy BEFORE Reading the awful clopfic... Just cause I wanted the characters to sound correctly in my head when I read it. After reading the fanfic, I resumed watching the episodes... I got all the way to Over a Barrel and waited patiently for the newer episodes each week... You know how hard it is to find an excuse to visit relatives whose cable provider has the hub JUST to watch My Little Pony? Good thing that DKLA now has My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...

Obviously the Pony Invasion of the House of Rants did not begin until August 2011... That's when I began slipping in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic stuff to Articles and Ponies began coming out of the Toy Chest. So, basically I am a Brony because I wanted to make sure I got the characters sounding right when reading a clopfic. That is why I do not hate the cloppers unlike other bronies... Besides it would go against the whole "love and tolerance" brony mantra...

Next time I'll tell you how I became a brony.

But back to the Song... Not only John De Lancie is there, but also Tara Strong... (who I've already ranted about) who happens to be Twilight Sparkle's VA... That's how my brain exploded twice... I kinda feel a bit bugged out since they now KNOW about the clopping... Oh dear!

Jan 27, 2013

JJ Abrams is going to direct Episode 7...

I really wanted to avoid talking about this mostly cause all I HAD to say at the moment was: "The Lens Flare is strong with this one!"
Aside the obvious Lens Flare jokes, I think it's a good thing that a competent director got his hands on Star Wars... We could have fared worse... MUCH MUCH Worse...

We could've ended up with Michael Bay... or Uwe Boll... or even worse KENNY ORTEGA...
OK, Kenny Ortega is a much better director than Herr Boll, but at Least Uwe Boll can say that he did NOT make the High School Musical movies...

We should just wait and see... At the same time it's kinda weird that both Star Trek and Star Wars are being directed by the same guy...

The only good thing is that this episode is very likely to NOT have Gungans... I hope... Cause Screw the Gungans... Maybe this will open a pathway for a Star Wars/Trek crossover... nah!

Miley REALLY craves attention...

So, she killed Hannah Montana, made a few things that barely anyone cared about (LOL... No I'm not laughing out loud... I'm talking about her Movie called LOL) She's also engaged to Thor's little brother... Hunger Games dude... Not Josh Hutcherson, the other dude... the one from The Last Song... the Hemsworth kid that no one (except Miley) cares about... So since no one has cared for Miley ever since she got the Beavis...

shut up butt-munch!

So, the former Wig-wearing Disney Princess who wants to distance herself from Hannah Montana, yet dyes her hair blonde like Hannah's did some pics for the Magazine that thinks that Men are the scum of the Earth and are lying 99.9999% of the time... She's not wearing a shirt or a bra on this cover of Cosmo...

I feel pretty bad for Billy Ray... To see his little girl doing a fool of herself...again! The day she does a Playboy spread will be the day when she Truly breaks her daddy's Achy Breaky Heart... (Hey! It's been a LONG time since I've done a rant on the Cyrus Clan... and Achy Breaky Heart is the only song that would apply here... if you have a way to make I want My Mullet back fit here, please tell me how! )

I know that Miley doesn't give a damn about what people say about her, but she shouldn't have to rely on shock value to get attention. She's got talent and it's a shame that she's relying on flash over substance to get attention. No, I'm not saying that she should be a Disney Princess, but right now these attempts to get attention seem more like the desperate attempts from a has-been that is trying to stay relevant. The moment she grabs the wig and tries to make a Hannah Comeback, that's when we'll know she's desperate...

Hey! at least I'm not ending it with THAT song... The one I can "sing" at karaoke bars with my eyes closed... The one I do even better while wearing the Hannah Montana wig... Aw screw it, you knew I was going to anyway!

Jan 26, 2013

It came from the Toy Chest: the Wa-Haha has been doubled!

If you have some knowledge of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or at least enough references to it and my reviews you may figure out what I'm going to review... I think it's CRYSTAL clear that I'm reviewing Rarity and Luna... both voiced by Tabitha St. Germain... Who has done a ton of voices... 

Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me for the Reference...
Well, this is a Pony Review that has rarity and a Playful Scale Luna... Now I need to get that TRU set with Nightmare Moon... the GITD Zecora and the CMC...

And here's the review... Enjoy!

Jan 25, 2013

It Came From the Toy Chest: Her wings are so pretty... and WHITE!!

Cause I have a White Celestia... not only that, but she's on the Playful Pony Scale!!

You want me in white, then Buy an extra Pinkie Pie!
 They're from the Crystal Empire set... You should be on the lookout for the Crystal Empire Applejack... she has a hat!!
Looks like I'll have to retake this pic without Godzilla on it!!
In any case, here's the review!

Jan 23, 2013

Transforming Egg Animals: Are they MOTU worthy?

I'm talking about the Mattel version of the Tamagora... AKA The Meteorbs... Mattel wanted a piece of the Transforming Toy pie... that Hasbro had a Huge chunk... Tonka had the Go-Bots, but as almost every 80s child knows, the Go-Bots sucked compared to the Transformers... sure the Go-Bots came first and were cheaper, but they didn't Have Optimus Prime!
So, Tonka released the ROCK LORDS!!

And Mattel released THESE GUYS!!

Not saying that Mattel ripped off the Rock Lords, but it's funny that Another Company has one type of toy and Mattel join in the action...
So it wouldn't be far-fetched to think that Swift Wind and the Princess of Power Horses are trying to ride the coattails of:

Since I have no insider knowledge I can't say for certain which came first: The Rock Lord or the Rock People... But the one thing I am certain of is that Mattel DID use The Tamagora as their Meteorbs. Most likely trying to get into the Transforming Toy pie during the Twilight of MOTU... And THAT brings us to our main topic: the Meteorbs.
Great balls of fire!
So, Are these guys WORTHY of being in MOTU Classics?
First, let me say that I'm NOT a Meteorb fan... I know that there's one or three Meteorb fans there who might be worried of what I'm about to write...

What makes a figure be "MOTU Worthy"? Aside the obvious being made as a part of any of the MOTU Lines (MOTU, POP,NA, 200X MOTU or MOTUC)
Is there a certain aesthetic that the characters need to fit in order to be MOTU? Can MOTU Accept Everything? Is there Room for Alien Meteor/egg things that transform into creatures? Is there space for a  Bald Detective from Planet Earth in MOTU?
It's not fair to compare Detective Lubic to the Meteorbs... One, Lubic Can't get made unless Mattel gets movie rights and two, the Meteorbs WERE MOTU toys in the 80s...

Here's where the thing gets very twisted and awkward.
I don't believe that EVERYTHING CAN BE MOTU... I've complained about Spector and how he doesn't work in MOTU (designwise and canonwise)... Bodywise he's MORE MOTU than the Meteorbs... Hell! Sir-Laser-Lot is MORE MOTU than the Meteorbs... FROM a Body use POV. Just because you can use the Basic MOTUC Body doesn't make that character Automatically MOTU...
Batman: He is now MOTU
See? This Dark Knight Returns Batman uses a buck similar to the MOTUC buck. (Allegedly he even shares some parts with MOTUC Figures) Does that make him MOTU? No. Using that same logic we can say that Shadow Beasts, Ram Man and Granamyr are NOT MOTU.

The Character's origin is NOT MOTU... Yes, this applies to the Meteorbs, but We could say the same thing about Transformers... IIRC the G1 Jetfire was a Macross Veritech Fighter... So, you get the idea. From these angle you could say that the Tamagoras are NOT MOTU...

Like the VF-1S Super Valkyrie, the Tamagoras were made to fit in MOTU... they were the animals from the Rock People's planet. Then again, Mattel found a way to shoehorn-in Spector and Sir-Laser-Lot...

They LOOK STUPID... Yes, they do, with their part Egg part animal. Only Earl Norem has made them look somewhat cool... and that's cause he added a trail of fire behind them... but back to the topic... The Meteorbs look stupid as hell... You know who looks stupid as Hell? Ram Man.

Yup! Stupid Looking Ram Man... It's not like the 4 Horsemen could
I don't know, make him NOT LOOK STUPID?
It's not like the Four Horsemen are able to take the dorkiest looking toy and make it a hunk of plastic awesomeness... They LOVE doing monsters and freaks! What's more challenging that a Gorilla that looks like she was impregnated by a planet and make her look awesome! (I know Gore-Illa is a dude! I changed his sex for the Joke's sake!) If the Horsemen COULD DO THAT to Ram Man, then you must wonder if they can use their sculpting magic on the Meteorbs...

Yes, Classics doesn't have action features... most of the time and Looks like the Meteorbs would not get theirs. Perhaps plug in pieces like they're doing with Snake Face, or did with King Hsss? You get the basic "Meteor" (Losing the B and making them slightly less Egg shaped) with certain pieces that you plug into it in Meteor form and you swap for the "Creature Mode" since most of them just look like an egg with head and limbs poking out at different sides.

The biggest reason for Mattel NOT To make these guys is the Tooling Budget.  Their second reason is the "Health of the line vs the unpopularity of the Meteorbs".
I kinda agree with Reason #2 but not completely. I am not a fan and if they were made I'm very likely to skip them. Just because I don't like them doesn't mean they shouldn't be made...
I mean they could make a basic "Meteorb core" buck and add a non-removable "Armor" to make each Meteorb Different... Add in the different plug-in parts and you COULD HAVE a MOTUC METEORB!

The path of what makes X a part of MOTU is a confusing path. There ARE a couple of strikes against the Meteorbs, which makes it even harder for them. Could they have worked as another toyline? YES, but they ARE MOTU... They were in the original MOTU line and they NEED Representation in MOTUC, the same way She-Ra and Friends, or the Denebrian Mutants need Representatives in MOTUC.
Like it or not, the Meteorbs ARE a part of MOTU... That is reason enough for them to get made. I want Josh and Glimmer in MOTUC, so I know an impossible struggle when I see one. THAT is the main reason Why I Can't say no to the Meteorbs... and the Energy Zoids too! (Cause they were Beyblades before Beyblades even existed.) I don't like them either, but they ARE MOTU...

They have a reasonable way to be part of the storyline, they CAN be made while sharing a lot of parts (Mattel needs to invest a bit on the basic buck system for them), they WERE Actual MOTU toys (not concept art or anything)... they could try with two-packs as non-sub items... If they're well-received, then Mattel can make more, if not.. well at least there's 2 Meteorbs in MOTUC!

Here's some Crude Drawings explaining my idea to work the Meteorbs
Rough drawing of the Meteorb core buck.
As you can see the base piece or core would be the same for ALL The Meteorbs. The "Armor" would wrap around the core and leave gaps for the pieces to plug in depending on the type of METEORB made. (Quadruped or Bipedal)

Black is core
Red is the plug-in limbs
Blue is the Armor (covers the holes not used on that meteorb)

Black is core
Red is the plug-in limbs
Blue is the Armor (covers the holes not used on that meteorb)

As you can see, we have the shared core while Armor and plug-in limbs make each figure different enough!

Jan 21, 2013

It Came From the Toy Chest: The guy who fears yellow vs the Metron knock-off

Yup! It's time to review a DCUC vs MOTUC 2 pack!

I'm not the only one who thinks the same thing about Hal Jordan

Making a case for Blade, Saurod and Gwildor

Who ARE THEY? Well, they are the only three figures from the only unrepresented faction in all of MOTU's History. Characters from the Live Action Movie. Why am I mentioning those 3? Simple. Those are the only three that Mattel can make, because they made a toy of them in the 80s.

Let's start with Gwildor, the most important one, Canonically speaking... cause of two words:

Cosmic Key... or the sole reason to get a Preternia Disguise He-Man... the Neitlichverse uses Gwildor's key as a way to go to the past in the Mini-Comics. It's also the base for a Certain Mary Sue's Wrist-sized SEX device...

Not having Gwildor in MOTUC is like making a Back to the Future Toyline without 1985 Doc Brown...

The reason why he hasn't been made yet... I've no inside knowledge, but I can see it with my own two eyes... Tooling... Gwildor would require far too much of it to make him. If there was some way to reuse some of his NEW PARTS (Most of them) on some other characters, he could get made...
There's guys like the 200X Version of Count Marzo (Depowered), Gepple from the infamous Scientists from New Adventures of He-Man! With some creative New Armor parts and maybe legs we COULD GET a Madame Razz... Which is important if you're a Princess of Power fan. Let's recap on why Gwildor is important:
-He's important canonically since he's used on the Classics Storyline
-He has parts that can be reused on other figures!
-He's one of the three movie figures that Mattel can make.

Accessories to make a Pimp Gwildor are not a must, but they'd be greatly appreciated. Bucket of ribs, yes please!

I want them, but don't NEED them. (canonically speaking)
The next two characters are evil warriors that were meant to replace some of the Evil Warriors (Whiplash/Kobra Khan and Tri-Klops) the same way Gwildor was a replacement for Orko. Out of those two I'm more interested in Blade than Saurod... not just cause Saurod gets killed in the movie and I like swordsmen better than reptilian warrior. Blade is easier to make for Mattel than it is to make Saurod.

I mean Blade is pretty much DONE...
Head would have to be new... (Here's hoping for a movie accurate head)
Normal Human Torso
The armor would be new. (either one piece or a 2 piece Armor + Shirt like Demo-Man. Personally I hope for 1 piece Armor+Shirt combo)
Normal Arms.
While I'd LOVE New Forearms I can see them reusing parts here.(Repaint of Bow's forearms in a Worst Case Scenario)
Snout Spout hands.
New Loincloth (worst Case Scenario, reuse Vikor's)
Standard legs
New belts for the thighs
Normal Lower Leg with Snout Spout's boots and feet
2 new Swords

Saurod WOULD require a bit more new parts... But I'll try to see how far we can get to get him with the currently available parts.
Head: New
Torso: Clawful/Buzz-Off/Whiplash Torso
Armor: New
Shoulders: King Hssss
Biceps: Snake Face Arms
Forearms: New (Worst Case Scenario Trap Jaw's)
Hands: Hordak
Loincloth: New (and new crotchpiece to attach tail... If Mattel plays it smart they could reuse that for MODULOK)
Tail: New
Thighs: New (they could reuse those on Butthead or something) Worst Case Scenario Trap Jaw's... though I'd rather not.
Lower Legs: New, Worst Case Scenario, He-Ro's
Feet: Mosquitor
Laser pistol: New

I stand corrected. Saurod COULD be made... sure he needs a couple of things, but using the Worst Case Scenario parts Blade and Saurod are evenly matched!

I know that the movie wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but Mattel kinda owes Anthony Delongis and Pons Maar their characters in Classics... as a thank you for helping promote MOTU Classics back on the 2012 sub scare... (I know that their plea to the fans was made through another fan, but still, those guys went out and gave Mattel some free publicity) Also it helps the Evil Warriors to grow with 2 more members... Easier to make, Logistically speaking than Gwildor!

These guys are some of the underrated figures from the Vintage MOTU... (Energy Zoids, Rock Wariors and Meteorbs are the other neglected groups.) While there are more important figures from New Adventures (Hydron, Flogg, Cyborg Skeletor) and Princess of Power (Glimmer, Angella, Kowl, Madame Razz), these guys are needed... (Saurod and Blade show up in the 3rd Neitlichverse Minicomic) they have more chances than the Meteorbs or the Energy Zoids...

Jan 19, 2013

Jan 17, 2013

Looks like Willis is the sole heir of the Drummond Fortune.

Remember back when Gary Coleman died and I made a Diff'rent Strokes reference? Well Looks like Now we have a Willis vs Sam thing, cause... MR. DRUMMOND IS DEAD!!
Well, Conrad Ban died last Monday. He was 89.

 On a more happier note, Betty White is now 91... Holy crap! She's outlived pretty much the entire cast of Golden Girls!

THANK YOU BETTY for the years of Entertainment and St. Olaf stories!

Discord is making a comeback on the next My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Apparently he has reformed or something... John De Lancie returns as Discord... TNG fans should know him as Q... and he's pretty much a Ponified Q.

Jan 14, 2013

It Came from the Toy Chest: Tonight I dine on Turtle Soup!

Cause the Shredder is coming to town!

I'm torn on this figure...

Jan 11, 2013

Jan 9, 2013

Hey what the!? Cena, Honey Boo Boo... Oh no!

What started as an insult to the Hulk Hogan wannabe of the 21-st Century has become a Reality! John Cena is Nicole Westbrook to Hulk Hogan's Rebecca Black... Guess that makes Vince McMahon the Creepy Turkey guy! 

As you can see on the video, Fruity Pebbles was used to insult the "amazing" John Cena... Now Cena has replaced Fred Flintstone as Fruity Pebbles mascot.

Yabba Dabba Don't!
You think that's bad? Things are about to get worse... Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! The Comic...
Sometimes Humanity makes me wish we had that Rapture, or Mayan Apocalypse, or Hercolubus.

He was a cop and good at his job. But, he committed the ultimate sin, and  other cops gone bad. Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead. Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws. A bounty hunter. A Renegade. Then the show was cancelled. He faded into obscurity and now came back."

He has the scrotum of a 25 year old... Well that's what he said on Full Bounty!

Lorenzo Lamas is back on TV on the Reality show Full Bounty, where a group of contestants are competing to become the next Bounty Hunter and who else than the man who played Reno Raines, the Renegade to be a Contestant... and this is the least WTF news for today cause The Full Bounty is Freaking AWESOME!!

It Came from the Toy Chest: Cool but Crude

The Nightwatcher Review... in video... you know the new routine. watch video, enjoy, ????, Profit

there you have it or something.

It came from the Toy Chest: No it's not Cory Feldman

But it's a character who WAS voiced by Cory Feldman in the 90s Live Action Movies... Donatello!!

Now with him and the upcoming Raphael Review, I'm done with the Turtles!

Jan 6, 2013

Hey What the!? Driving in Russia

I will not start this with a lame In Soviet Russia X X's you... cause WHAT THE HELL, RUSSIA!?

GTA in real life... That's how I can describe this... in one sentence... I'm almost using shatner-speak cause it's very shocking to see how they drive in Russia... no wonder they're so badass. Seriously, look at the videos and tell me that going to work is like being in an action movie ON A DAILY BASIS! If anyone knows how to say Yippie Kay yay in Russian please tell me how...

Speaking of Russia and John McClane... There's a 5th Die Hard movie...

This time McClane teams up with his son to fight Russian Terrorists or something... Am I the only one who misses Officer Carl Winslow?

Bieber smoking pot!? Bielebe it! It appears that squeaky clean Bieber has been caught smoking pot... Instead of hitting salvia from a bong... The problems with being a Celebrity... especially with a fanbase full of kids...

Cause Bieber dies and Yuna Dances...

Happy Birthday Zazu! Happy Birthday Nigella Lawson, and Black Ranger #2!

Jan 4, 2013

It Came From the Toy Chest: Pizza time

Michelangelo is a party dude... Hooray! and video Review Below...

I guess you WILL Find the "hidden images" this time!

It Came From the Toy Chest: Leader in Blue

Leonardo Review... in Video Format...
Click, watch, enjoy and complain... Can you find the hidden images?


Jan 3, 2013

Wait what the!? Topanga!?

Yup, you read right... Topanga... Why Topanga? Because if I mention Cory, you're going to be huh? and I think I've overused Mr. Feeny...

Yes, I'm talking Boy Meets World... Why? Apparently there is a sequel/spin-off show called Girl Meets World. I found out thanks to Yahoo! making a Child Stars "where are they now" news story. I originally was going to go with a what the heck happened to Lark Voorhies? post, but it's possible that she has a disease that is why she looks off. The cynic in me wants to say something, but out of thanks for being part of a show that entertained me for years, I won't.
So, back to main topic... Boy Meets World Sequel starring Cory and Topanga's Daughter...
First red flag... The show is NOT about Cory. It's about his daughter, which means that Cory is taking the back seat... So, those of you expecting it to be a NEW season of Boy Meets World will be Disappointed.

Second Red Flag: It's a Disney Channel show... Wait... Mr. Hannah Montana Fan is complaining about Disney Channel? Yes, Yes I am... Have YOU SEEN RECENT DISNEY SHOWS? (Including my beloved Hannah)
Adults are STUPID in Disney Channel Comedies... I think that if Eric shows up he'd be a mess... Think Final BMW Season Eric but taking it up a few notches... Heck! that would make any character played by Jerry Trainor seem sane... We can't have NORMAL Adults on Disney Channel Comedies... So, No Alan and Amy-Esque Parents for The Topangaborn...

Third Red Flag: Disney Channel Tween Star...

All these girls had/have their own Disney Channel Show... Conveniently, they Sing... So, I'm 85% certain that the Topangaborn will be a Singer. There is nothing bad with having a multi-talented kid... What worries me is that the Disney Overlords will probably try to shove down the kid's singing abilities INTO the show... Which would kinda distract us from the whole Boy Meets World "Atmosphere" it must create since it's in the same universe as Boy Meets World... (Sadly the BMWverse tends to break the 4th Wall every now and then.)

I seriously hope that this show tries to keep the Feel, but at the same time I fear it will be TOO Different... Like comparing Hippie Topanga vs Normal Adult Topanga... (Hopefully Topanga will not have a Hippie regression)

That's what we want and that's what we WON'T GET! Especially if it's on the NORMAL Disney Channel, not ABC...

Jan 2, 2013

Attack of the Retail MOTUCs

Mattel has made a ballsy move. Instead of selling reissues online on their site, they are selling their "unsold Customer Service Stock" through WalMart...

even begin to describe my initial reaction.

I was pissed when I saw this pic. I'll be honest. I missed out on Roboto (until I bought one from a reseller...) and Walmart now has a bunch of them. They're selling around $17 per figure and Gygor is like $25... LESS THAN MATTEL SOLD THEM TO US... So much for not having a middleman makes them cheaper than buying them through a retailer...

Mattel said that they were going to unload some CS stock because it was too small to sell through Matty to some retailers... Well, If they actually made the items AVAILABLE UNTIL THEY TRULY SOLD OUT, MAYBE they wouldn't have to "DUMP" figures through Retailers... I mean Roboto? Gygor? I bet that if ONE Shadow Weaver, Wun-Dar, or Crossdressing He-Man people are going to be demanding Neitlich's head on a stick!

Here's the thing: Yeah! I'm pissed that I couldn't buy a Roboto from Matty while they had pallets of the guy being worked by TOP MEN...

Now the Positive spin... if there is one is that MOTU is BACK ON RETAIL! If these sell out well enough for Mattel to bring MOTUC to Retail, then this is a good thing. Perhaps a way to churn out some of those variants that can't be tossed on the online only line (200X He-Man, Filmation Hordak, etc.)
OK this is only happening on a Walmart in... wait for it...

If the MOTUC were spread through WalMarts nationwide (including Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico) now THAT would be super mega awesometastic!
THIS could be the Booster shot that the line needs right now (along with better QC) Maybe a way for Mattel to reuse the Castle Grayskull mold by making a more bare bones Retail version... (and selling the extra stuff through Mattycollector... wink wink!)

Spider Ock Spider Ock Marvel can now...

 Go and *expletive deleted* themselves. Peter Parker is dead and now Otto Octavius is Spider-Man...

Doc  Octopus

Knowing the difference can save your life... After 10 years of crap (Totemistic Mystical Origins, Dying and having a Magical Rebirth, becoming Iron Man's sidekick, Revealing his secret ID to the world, Trading his Marriage To Mary Jane in a literal deal with the devil to undo the unmasking and saving May "one foot on the grave" Parker) culminate in Peter Parker switching bodies with a dying Doctor Octopus and now the Evil Doctor is inside Peter Parker's body... The same Doc Ock that wanted to marry Aunt May...

I'm not making this up!
The one that attacked her recently because she was to Marry J. Jonah Jameson's dad... she did, so Peter Parker and J. Jonah Jameson are like step cousins or something...
Yeah! Did I confuse you? well, this is thanks to the Creative Genius of Joe Quesada and his "underlings" who were HELLBENT on destroying Spider-Man. Well that's what I believe cause THIS is not SAVING SPIDER-MAN! So if  "Peter" and MJ come back together is cause it's NOT Peter... Would that be Rape? What if Doc Ock has "urges" and rapes Aunt May... Is it Incest?
Suddenly The Clone Saga doesn't sound that bad...
I mean, replacing Peter Parker with... *gasp!* Peter Parker is a bad idea, but Killing Peter Parker and replacing him with Doc Ock in a Peter Parker suit is an EXCELLENT Idea...

sums up my thoughts in a nice and clean way... So I'll leave it at that... I may add this to Stupid Ideas that HAVE to be Retconned!

Even Stan Lee is not too pleased with this!

Jan 1, 2013

Welcome 2013... Megaman's had a nifty 25th!

And Street Fighter as well! STREET FIGHTER X Mega Man! It's like a fan-game but sponsored by Capcom...

Ho-Ly CRAP!! It's Classic Mega Man (Think Mega Man 4, but with Street fighter bosses!) and IT'S FREE TO DOWNLOAD!! FREE CAPCOM GAME!! That's pretty awesome!
You get to fight:
Ryu (SF)
Chun-Li (SF II)
C. Viper (SF III)
Dhalsim (SFII)
Blanka (SF II)
Rose (SF Alpha Series)
Rolento (SF Alpha series)
Urien (from SF III)
There are some other characters as bosses... which you might figure out who they are if you know your Street Fighter Lore.

The game feels like a NES Mega Man... Think Mega Man 4 Gameplay but no Password feature, which is a shame, cause I hate having to go through the entire thing. It's a tad short, but it's like a NES Megaman in many ways... (It's very unforgiving, but not insanely hard...)

While it covers most of Street fighter history there's a few people I would have liked to see... Maybe in a Protoman or Bass Sequel?

Guile... Pretty obvious, don't ya think? Sonic Hurricane that acts like the wood shield
E. Honda with the Hundred hand Slap which would work like Chun Li's Lightning Leg
Zangief with his spinning Lariat (Think top Spin with Projectile deflecting abilities)
Geki who could work like a Shadow Man-esque boss...
Ken Obvious Flaming Shoryuken
Cody cause of his tornado move
Gill cause of his dual flame and ice attack.
Necro cause Electric Attack
Maybe Seth as a "Wily stage" boss
I suppose that Gouken could be a secret boss.
Perhaps Dan acting like a Street fighter Protoman

Where was I? Oh yeah! The Street Fighter X megaman! It's a nifty game to play... a little frustrating at times but it's fun if you love Mega Man and Street Fighter...

He-Man and She-Ra's Christmas Jamboree! (Or how I learned to hate children)

I'm doing a He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special Review... Unlike many of the other internet HM&SR:X-Mas special reviews, this comes from a MOTU fan... and I will be writing this as I WATCH the movie... If I knew how to do a Rifftrax thing with it I'd totally do one. So I'm doing my written version as I watch the whole thing... AGAIN, I'll be spoiling the whole thing here as I nitpick the hell out of it...
WARNING! This review MAY BE bordering on NSFW territory... Especially some of the links!

We start in Eternos where it's snowing and we have EXPOSITION! From Marlena and Randor.
We have Mattel Mandated Product Placement for: Fisto, Snout Spout, Sy-Klone, Glimmer, Flutterina, Peekablue, Bow, Castaspella, Stratos, Ram Man, Frosta, Teela,Kowl, Queen Angella, Mossman AND Perfuma.
OK to be fair, Those are the characters showing up that had toys... Since they HAD toys, they'll be called MMPP(Mattel Mandated Product Placement)... Cause in a way they are, cause seriously, What kind of King and Queen are Randor and Marlena that they make their guests decorate for Adam and Adora's Birthday!? Especially since most of these guests are queens and princesses themselves. (also Broom looks like he's enjoying it...) One More thing: Why in the name of The Sorceress is Peekablue painting Stars on the Palace Walls?
 Randor says that they've been doing this FOR DAYS!! What kind of Host makes their guests decorate for a party FOR DAYS!? Marlena Remembers Christmas...

Randor conveniently asks if this is an Earth Holiday... which the Queen's reply is A VERY SPECIAL Earth HOLIDAY! Every time I hear A VERY SPECIAL_____ all I can think of is

We cut away to Orko, Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms... (another MMPP) who are working on a Sky Spy... Well Man-at-Arms and Adam are working on it; Orko is just spying. The Sky Spy is a rocket ship that will be used to Spy on Skeletor... Like an 80s version of the 200x Doomseekers, but big and clunky, so 80s!  Orko Drops his book at the base of the rocket and sneaks inside; he also plays with the controls. Predictably he launches the ship into Space. No one knows Orko is inside the shuttle while Adam and Duncan can't turn the ship off. For a spy shuttle not having a camera to see who is piloting it, well it's a stupid move.
OPENING CREDITS TIME! She-Ra Theme crossed with Jingle Bells cause Christmas and now SKELETOR!!( MMPP) shows up with Two-Bad (another MMPP) trying to figure out what is that "Unsuspecting Rocket" that is flying around. Skeletor threatens Two-Bad as they try to catch the Sky Spy.

Meanwhile back in Eternos. Adora shows up at Man-at-Arm's Lab and Adam Raises his Sword...
He-Man Finally shows up! 4:18 into the movie... He leaves on a FLYING Road Ripper... (MMPP for both He-Man and the Road Ripper) but why is the Road Ripper Flying? He should have used a Sky Sled from the Battle Ram... Of course, Obvious MMPP!!
He-Man Reaches Skeletor's Ship and we get another set of MMPPs! Webstor, Rattlor, Spikor, as well as Skeletor and Two-Bad. Who are chasing the same Orko that was in space, is no longer in space... He only went to Space for the credits and returned to the planet. He-Man shows up to save the day until he gets attacked by Mechanical Tentacles but they call them forcebelts... The Tentacles ensnare He-Man...

I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going...

And She-Ra Shows up 6:00 into the movie. (Second Super Duper obvious MMPP) with Swift Wind too! she saves He-Man from a fate that many Japanese Schoolgirls cannot avoid. They punch a hole on Skeletor's ship (which is weird since She-Ra usually kicks the crap out of stuff.) On the Sky Spy, Orko uses Magic... Everyone should know by now that Orko + Magic = Holy crap, we're doomed! His Magic sends him to Space... Again. He-Man and She-Ra try to follow him (into space?) Skeletor's crew is doomed since He-Man and She-Ra ruined the ship controls. So Skeletor does the sensible thing and tosses all of his henchmen off the ship with 1 Parachute... Lucky for them that this is the 80s and they survive the fall... but we never see them again!

Where was I? He-Man and She-Ra are chasing the ship in Outer Space... No Space Suits required... Not even Sword to Space Helmet or nothing. Orko goes into Hyperspeed and He-Man and She-Ra give up on the chase... "Good thing no one was in there"... Wait, if no one was in there, why the hurry to chase the heck out of the ship? Cause they don't know Orko is in there...

They HAVE A FINDER BEAM... to locate the ship... A FRIGGING FINDER BEAM... Seriously!? Orko goes to an Icy Planet that Filmation tried super hard to hide the fact that is Earth.

More or less... The severe Ice Storm attacking The Entire Planet is blocking my view of the Caribbean.
Orko lands somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic, but when we change shots he's on a generic Mountain Range. One Subtle Buckle Up PSA later, Orko Meets two siblings... Who must be the most moronic beings in the universe. Screaming for help on a Snowy Mountainous Area... Can you say

No ****ing way! Orko's magic WORKS ON EARTH!  The kids were looking for a Christmas Tree until they got lost... Why don't they get their Christmas tree from Mall Parking Lots like Normal People do? What kind of Irresponsible parents lets 2 kids alone in the woods to look for a Christmas tree... Also, why are they following a Floating Stranger into his "ship"? Better get their Parents, a Teacher, a Counselor, a Doctor, a Minister or a Rabbi cause this is going into terrible territory...

Back on Eternia, Man-at-Arms is about to use the FINDER BEAM when Queen Marlena, Teela and Adora bring PLOT DEVELOPMENT!! Remember the book that Orko dropped next to the rocket that Launched him into Earth? It somehow did NOT get scorched by the Rocket... and is what tells everyone that Orko was inside the Ship... then Man-at-Arms does a Happy Dance realizes what happened... which he would havedone sooner  if he had added a Camera on the cockpit!

Back on Earth, Orko takes the kids into his "Sky Spy"... Now that I think about it, how did those two kids cut down a "Christmas Tree" without an ax, a saw or something sharp? They now Explain Christmas to Orko. They do the whole Presents bit and tell him all about Christmas and before any Religious content is mentioned *cough* birth of Christ *cough* we're back on Eternia and Marlena discovers that Orko is on Earth. The very same Earth she has not gone to in years, where she's got relatives that have been going to an empty grave for years... but back to the Movie. Teela seems upset that she may never see Orko again. Man-at-Arms attempts to comfort his daughter by claiming that he has a device to bring him back, but he needs a component that DOES NOT EXIST ON ETERNIA!! OK what the FUDGE!? I mean that's a bit of a Jerk move by Duncan or it's a way for Filmation to do some more MMPPs. Mermista is mentioned, so it WAS an excuse for more MMPPs...
Back on Earth we get the tail end of the Nativity Story with ZERO Jesus mentions... We get Santa, but not Jesus...
On Eternia, Adora decides to go alone to Etheria and we get She-Ra's Transformation almost 13 minutes into the whole thing.

We're back on Orko's Candy Ship... Sorry I couldn't resist... Now the kids are still talking about Non-Religious Christmas with Santa's story.  And we're back to She-Ra on Etheria.
With Frenchmista... UGH! I don't hate the French and I don't hate Mermaids... but I hate FRENCH sounding Mermaids! and she tells She-Ra about Zee BeastMonster!  Now She-Ra and Mermista (MMPP) go to Zee Wuins!  Sheesh! Mermista reminds me of this every time she talks...

On Zee Wuins, She-Ra distracts Zee BeastMonster while Mermista looks for zee watercrystal.
She found Zee Watercrystal and she left. 
Some Inbred Go-Bot cousins Wise Fwom they Gwaves who call themselves the Monstroids! (MMPP?)

the Real Monstroid is offended by these Things shown in the movie
They Transform... Even Swift Wind takes a jab at Transformers by calling them evil... She-Ra says they're VERY EVIL!! These Transformations must be terrifying! Also something about their friends the Manchines...
They're Terrifyingly BAD!! They left while She-Ra is trapped inside a giant bubble. She turns her sword into a Flaming sword to pierce the bubble!
18:19 We should be thankful that this isn't Anime, otherwise Bow would have died from a massive nosebleed... FYI Cold milk removes blood stains. I learned that from The Punisher videogame.
Now that my clothes smell like milk, we're back on Eternia where Man-at-Arms activates the Machine to bring back Orko.

Back on Earth... Seriously I hope this movie would stop jumping around and Who the Hell taught these kids Jingle Bells!? Now Orko has to protect the kids that are scared of the light from INSIDE the STRANGE ALIEN'S SPACESHIP that they willingly boarded... AND He effectively kidnaps the Children who'd probably be safer on Earth... Where their parents might be looking for them. Surprise! Orko is a kidnapper!
Luckily they cut away before we have to relieve Orko's "exciting adventure".

Finally some Villains! We start up with Horde Prime inside some sort of Asteroid rambling about some great power that may tip the battle against Good in Good's favor... Christmas. Horde Prime asks for someone to summon Skeletor and Hordak.

Back on Eternia, Orko retells his "Earth Adventure" To Marlena. The Queen is excited, but the Party Poopers are interested in knowing if they can be home for Christmas... Not cause Baby Jesus, but cause of Santa. The Queen and MAA give them the bad news that they're going to be stuck for a few days cause the Crystal that powers the Transport beam needs a few days to recharge... (Duncan is probably cursing himself silently because the Trollan Menace made it back to Eternia.) Queen Marlena proposes to replace Baby Jesus with Adam and Adora's Birthday Bash! Those kids swapped Baby Jesus for He-Man faster than Bow's nosebleed at 18:19... Now Orko pretends to be smarter cause he knows about Santa.

Horde Prime knows about Christmas... Probably becuase santa left him a buttload of coal and the smoke surrounding him is product of millennial coals burning... for uh, thousands of years? So now Hordak (MMPP) and Skeletor are going to compete against each other to squash Christmas.

Bow hits on a little alien girl and Perfuma tries to bring spring on Christmas, cause she's clueless about christmas until she makes Poinsettias and Christmassy plants appear. Then Bow sings Feliz Navidad... Nah! I wish!

Kowl and Orko dance to an awful song... Then Hordak shows up on a Flying sex toy...

This is Nimbus 2000 toy all over again... If I was a Time Traveler of course!
Bow is frozen as the Horde's Flying Sex toy takes the Children... and ORKO?
So inside the Flying Sex Toy... this will do wonders with the ads here... We have Hordak Multi-Bot, Catra and Modulok as the MMPPs of the scene.  The heroes decide to go see Peek-a-Blue for help... Back on Etheria The Inbred Go-Bots grab the Dildocopter... MOST Inappropriate image in all MOTU History... Beats the one where He-Man tosses stones that look like Procrustus's ball-sack. OK where was I? Inbred-Go-Bots take the Children from the Horde as THEIR Prisoners. Hordak and Co. Run away like little wusses.Now the heroes use Peekablue's vision powers... showcasing her powers (BUY PEEKABLUE!)
She states what we already know... except the part with the little robot people going to rescue the kids... The Manchines...
Orko learns to accept guilt... Dumb kid says that it WASN'T his fault... Uh, you've visited 2 Alien planets unwillingly CAUSE of Orko... Of course it's his fault! Meet the Manchines... They kinda look like the inbred-cousins of Doctor Light's Robot Masters... I'll not say anything else about the Manchines... Just watch until they get captured once more. Dammit He-Man! you should've let them be captured!
(It's no secret that I hate these Earthlings) She-Ra swords to Lasso the heck out of an Inbred Go-Bot, while He-Man beats the robo crap out of the Inbred-Go Bots! More Manchines (ugh!) show up and kill the Inbred Go-Bots. the kids fraternize with a Manchine dog as skeletor kidnaps the children... (and the dog)
Orko delivers bad news... (Well, Orko IS Bad news)
She-ra tries to follow with Swift Wind, but the Horse is captured in a Horny cage.
Apparently, the dildocopter was no longer useful, So Hordak got the Hordakjet and shot Skeletor in the back of his Sky Sled (MMPP) so he would crash with the children. Skeletor fights back with a laser beam cannon hidden exactly where Hordak shot him. They Crashland in the snow (cause conveniently it's WINTER EVERYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE!) Skeletor got away cause the Power Twins were too busy freeing Swift Wind... One horn at a time.
Now Skeletor urges the kids to hurry cause Hordak is coming, but they're freezing in their winter clothes... while Skeletor is nearly naked and not freezing. Skeletor gets a quick low-down on Christmas until the girl died... I mean fainted. Skeletor makes them More winter clothing and she revives. Skeletor wants to kill the dog cause he's evil but has a change of heart cause his Heart grew three sizes that night.
Dog licks him cause Dogs love bones...

Skeletor is a bit too into this Relay licking him... He goes heroic for a moment there as he dispatches the Snow Beast. He then turns Heel once more and tells the kids he's still delivering them to Horde Prime, who's conveniently showing in the Hordeprimejet. The Power Twins show up as well. The Horde shows up (cause Mattel has to promote those Horde Troopers and Multi-Bot toys) a 3 way battle for the Children starts... except that the Kids were walking STRAIGHT TOWARDS Horde Prime as Hordak redundantly points out. Relay makes out with Skeletor as the Twins fight Horde Troopers... and get captured by Hordak.

The kids are doomed... Dammit! Skeletor changed sides again and forced Horde Prime to crash...
Horde Prime is about to Kill Skeletor, but He-Man and She-Ra tosseed Prime into Space.
He-Man can't believe it... Neither can't I but Skeletor is being good! He doesn't like it... Luckily for him Christmas only comes once a year! Hahahahaha!

So we're at Eternos and Snout Spout puts the star on the Christmas Tree... We see some Widgets, a Shirtless bee-Man, Lizard Man, Mekaneck(MMPP), Zodac (MMPP), Stratos eating Chicken legs... (I find it funny in a twisted way), Man-e-faces (MMPP) A pissed off Cringer... Oh look! They invited Zee Petite  Mermaid... and that ABOMINATION (**** You Loo-KEE!) I see Sea Hawk's Mouse (and Sea Hawk, who did NOTHING in this movie), Dree-Elle, Yukkers, Ram Man Mossman and Fisto (the last 3 being MMPPs)
Santa gives a Flying belt to those 2 idiots... with no instructions... Does Santa hate them too? They're not sad cause they're leaving Eternia... "cause they miss their parents". The little girl did something intelligent for once. Delivered Relay so she wouldn't kidnap an alien being. They say their goodbyes as the children leave Eternia (possibly forever)
They reached home where their mom and Mario? were waiting for them... Methinks they're adopted or somebody may not be a parental unit of one or both children... Kids tell the truth, but as always, the parents don't believe them. The parents send them to bed as the kids fly to their beds... As Man-at-Arms spies on them...  Also Adora ruins Christmas for a bunch of kids... Now we have not only replaced Baby Jesus with He-Man, now we replaced Santa as well... and they wish us a Merry Christmas!?
Why I oughta... Ooh! Moral time!
Not everyone celebrates Christmas and it's more important than Presents... It's a time of love, peace, caring and happiness...
End Credits... with an instrumental version of the Annoying Song...

How can I rate this, since I pretty much destroyed the entire thing. Sure I got it at WalMart for $1... So I can't expect much. It was a bit preachy while trying not to be. Most of the time the movie made NO SENSE... An invention that uses a Power Source NON-Existent in your own planet!? Why is Christmas so Threatening to Horde Prime? Why was Skeletor so aroused when the dog licked his face? Why did the Monstroid invent Planking?

I know I've crapped on the movie and I HATEHATEHATE the kids, but I have a soft Spot for this movie.
It's a 4/10, but I REALLY LOVE this awful movie or is it a 2 part episode?