Jul 31, 2018

Since Storm Collectibles wants to rape my wallet, let's see my top 18 KOF

We all know that my Numbah One pick is coming... After Rugal and Kusanagi. I am, of course talking about Terry Bogard... so let's look at my other 18 choices... To be fair, I want that Kusanagi and the implied Iori... I'm not a fan of Rugal, but CVS2 flashbacks might make me want to get him to face Akuma Matata...

So, like Terry would say: Hey come on, c'mon!
#18:Geese Howard:

The animosity between Terry and Geese is like Ryu and Akuma, Guile and Bison. Of course I needa GEESE!

#17: Wolfgang Krauser:
The bad blood between Krauser and Geese is what motivates the second game and Terry taking away Krauser's chance to kill Geese.
#16: Joe Higashi:
If Storm figures out a way to have his taunt WITHOUT CLOTH PANTS, they'd be mega awesome.
But I expect faceplates hands, screw upper.

#15: Andy Bogard:
Like I'm gonna leave Team FF incomplete... that would be like not having the 4 tmnt... speaking of 4th wheel...

#14: Mai Shiranui:
The Fatal Fury Femme Fatale (holy Adam West Alliteration!)  And member of the Women team.
She fills two roles, so it's a double whammy!

#13: Benimaru Nikaido:
Kusanagi is coming and it's  addictive to have his shocking partner. Hoping for an alternate head with his hair down.

#12: Yuri Sakazaki:
The "Little sister" of the Art of Fighting team. (If storm releases a Dan Hibiki for SF, I'll be golden) she also works as a traditional member of the Women team.

#11: Robert Garcia:
Mentioning Yuri meant that Robert and Ryo are close by. Guess who's 10.

#10: Ryo Sakazaki:
SNK's parody of the Ansatsuken warriors... of course I want him! Also, team AoF is nothing without him.

#9: Takuma Sakazaki:
Depending on your line-up of Yuri, he could be Tean Masters, or Team AoF. Mr. Karate extra head is mandatory.

#8: King:
The third main member of the Female Team and kind of important Art of Fighting Character... you might have seen a bit of a pattern here. Nefty loves Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting.

#7:Athena Asamiya:
The idol and Psycho Soldier. Personally I prefer the 94-95 attire, or the schoolgirl unifotrm. Not a fan of her 98 attire, but... that's the game Storm is theoretically draeing inspiration from.

#6: Blue Mary:
We have another Fatal Fury Femme Fatale here. Since I need to tackle Yamazaki and Orochi later on the list, might as well get Yamazaki's while team here. Nothi ng to do with her relationship to Terry Bogard.

#5: Billy Kane:
As mentioned with Mary above, completing the 97 team AND seeing that Kane is important in Geese's operation and my Fatal Fury Favoritism...

#4: Mr. BIG:
Again, my Art of Fighting and Fatal Fury Bias strikes again. He completes the 96 boss team and since he's an AoF baddie, I can have him in the AoF display if I were to divide the KoF displays.

#3: Ryuji Yamazaki:
As I mentioned earlier, I need to add Orochi to this list and in order to have some semblance of logic I need to have Some of the Orochi blood related characters. I like Yamazaki and his Fatal Fury connections make it easier for me.

#2: Orochi:
We have Rugal, who wanted to attain some of Orochi's power. We have 2 out of the 3 clans who sealed Orochi in the past. (I'M NOT that big of a Chizuru fan) and we need the big bad from the game.

#1: Leona: (Riot of the Blood preferably)
She connects the Ikari Warriors AND the Orochi blood mess to the KoF theoretical display. Knowing Storm thwy expect me to double dip on her.

That's pretty much it... I tried to get most characters I like and that could make an extensive KoF display. My AoF and FF biases aside, I think I nearly managed it.

Jul 30, 2018

it came from the toy chest: This is not a toy, but fits great with toys.

Joe Amaro of Amaro Studios  has made a few pieces sculpted and cast by hand of a certain character of a toyline that Mattel killed the same year they got the license...
The ITEM IN QUESTION IS NOT A TOY. It's a Resin display piece. It's NOT TO BE PLAYED WITH as it may break if it were to fall. It's not a statue, since it has Articulation. I don't want to call it a figure, since it's not meant to be played with...

Snarf: Y-you gotta snap out of it
Lion-O! Call the Thundercats before-
Lion-O: Shut up you F-
Yes, it's Snarf... It's freaking Snarf...
I know what you are wondering: A Third Party Custom item? Are you serious?
Dudes, I know, but Amaro is the real deal... What if I told you he's assisted THE FOUR HORSEMEN? Yes, Those Four Horsemen and the projects have been MOTU related. He also does custom items. I think I've shown his Custom Filmation Attak Trak before. If not here's a link to his old blog. He's done a bunch of cool stuff throughout the years. He did Berbils last year, but this year he made Annoying Nanny Osbert and I needed to get in on that. I got lucky...

So, how awesome is this Snarf?
Pics don't do him justice. Normally this is the part where I go about Articulation, paint, sculpt, etc.
Seeing this is a third party hand crafted Item I will not use the traditional 5-point system.

 I'm surprised of the amount of articulation that he has. Head is in a sort of ball-joint. Arms, legs and tail are on a cut joint. One could say that this is a "Classicized" LJN Snarf. Now If this were a mass produced toy made by an actual Toy company like, say, Mattel, then the 6poa wouldn't cut it. He would need balljoint shoulders, interchangeable heads (one for bipedal mode and one for quadruped mode) Interchangeable tails. to recreate the standing on his tail pose from the intro. Since this is not a mass produced toy, but a poseable resin diorama piece, all those theoretical nitpicks do not matter. He could have easily been a statue like Cringer, but Mr. Amaro went above and beyond and gave us a "Classicized LJN Snarf"

Paint and Sculpt:
Mr. Amaro molded most of the pieces in the appropriate colors to reduce paint rub.
You look at him and you can see Annoying Nanny Osbert, quite easily. If it looks like a Snarf, walks like a Snarf, Snarfs like a Snarf, shuts up like a F-

it's a Snarf!
This part here is a knock out...
Now we needs a Mumm-Ra...

Yes, he's a bit expensive, but taking into consideration the whole Hand Made, hand cast LIMITED availability of this item, it's pretty reasonable...
Now to figure out how to remove the crotch covering of a Mutant Leader from DKR and put his crotch covering on a Terror Claws Skeletor to make a Tygra...

Street Fighter 30th anniversary... the rant.

I think we should look back at this anthology, just like I did with MEGAMAN. Review the anthology as a game... with local vs because I don't do online. Most of the reviews will be single player based, because asocial gamer... Now Street Fighter I have a better attachment to it than Mega Man... EVERYONE back in the day played SF... Not MK, Not KOF, not Fatal Fury, not Art of Fighting... SFII and the multiple versions was where it was. Whether the arcade, the SNES, TG16, Playstation. Pretty much since 1991 to this day, I've had access to a Street Fighter game (mainly SFII)... I play mostly for fun. I'm not a pro or anything like that. Far from it.

I haven't gotten through ALL 12 games for this first look... Just tried SF, one of the Alphas, one of the IIs and one of the IIIs... Before you ask: Yes, I used the same character in ALL games because THAT character is like the "control group" in a science experiment... It's not like he's the only playable character in the Original SF... Baka! I also only played VERSIONS OF THE GAMES THAT I HAVE PLAYED IN ARCADES, Pizza places and other places where arcade cabinets that have a Street Fighter game available.

The games FEEL close to the arcade versions... The only real difference is the input with the controller, which is not exactly the same as the arcade. (I personally prefer the PS2 pad or the SNES pad.) Also, the input in original SF is AWFUL!! So far I've only hadoken'd 4 times and 2 shoryukens popped up by mistake. I haven't been able to pull off a tatsumakisenpuukyaku.

The beauty of this is that it "isn't new" it's familiar. Like slipping on a pair of trusty shoes, you know what to expect and it feels great all over. I know I'm nostalgiagasming, but then again, I'm MOSTLY about Nostalgia... I can't seem to let go of the 80s and 90s as they were a much simpler time. This anthology does that... It delivers ALL the Classic 2D Street Fighter goodness in one package. The bonus of The Switch version is Portability... ARCADE SF ON THE GO!! Great for those High School Reunions and stuff!! It's like meeting your high school sweetheart and they haven't changed a thing after all these years...

With all the other versions going around through different eras, this one feels the most complete...

It came from the Toy Chest: He's elastic, she can fade from sight...

Waiting for the one who loves to fight to call the four... fantastic four!
Mr. Fantastic, his body is stretchy and pliable and can give his limbs any shape or size he can think of...

And don't you try to deny it, but you have thought about it THAT WAY TOO!

Now Susan Storm can become invisible create some invisible constructs with rudimentary shapes... So yes, theoretically speakingnshe wouldn't need no man... she just loves Reed... and Mr. Fantastic.

But, on an outer space adventure, they got hit by cosmic rays. And the four would change forever in some most fantastic ways. No need to fear, they're here... why do I end up quoting the Fantastic Four 90s cartoon song?

Well, when with Disney...
Sue: I think they got the reference
Reed: Oh I know. I was just admiring the
way your uniform
,makes your buttocks look.
Sue: Yay Disney!!
Reed has normal male articulation sans boot cut. The same thing applies to Sue but in the Female buck...
I dislike how limited their leg articulation is. Some dramatic poses can't be managed because of how uncooperative their legs are. Between range limitation and ridiculously tight joints that feel like they might break. (especially on Reed)
Sue: 4.5
Reed: 4.0

paint and sculpt:
Here they fare a lot better since the f4 outfits have no "real details" they can get away with the normal bucks.
Buuut Reed has a new torso with slightly loose clothing. So tempted to buy another and a China Wars Peter Parker head to mod with some greenstuff and make a Johnny, flamed off... or even a Bombastic Bagman. My only gripe with Sue is that she has no alternate fully visible arm.
Sue: 4.5
Reed 4.5

I have your Remote, Galactus...
Don't make me put your TV on Disney jr.

Sue has an extra hand and HERBIE the Robot.
Reed has The Ultimate Nullifier and stretchy arms.
I know... Walgreens exclusives... they can't have that much new stuff, especially when Sue comes with freaking Herbie... I really wish she had an alternative fully visible arm. It would've been fun to see other stretched out arms for Reed Like the Mallet Fist
Sue:4.5Reed: 4.5

I need a Ben Grimm...
Hurry up, Walgreen's!!
Torch: so this bucket of bolts replaced
Reed: it was my idea. If I didn't, we'd been the
Fantastic Three.
Torch: with no Ben we still are...
Sue: he has a point there, Reed.
Reed: that's why HERBIE is the new Ben.
Marvel's First Husband and Wife are awesome figures, but Sue (4.5)is a smidge better than Reed(4.33). So far these two are THE BEST representations of the First Family in recent toy history. They do have some tiny nitpicks, but it's awesome to see them back in toy form... A New Doom Hasbro, nudge nudge, wink wink... or maybe Revoltech could do a MVC style Doctor Doom...

If Marvel Select would reissue UATU... That would be great...

Jul 28, 2018

I guess Guru blames me for this too...

Mattel seems to not be doing well. No, Scott, I'm NOT happy about that. 2000+ jobs lost plus factories closing is not cool. Sadly, this was telegraphed for a long, long, time.

Losing the Disney license, Toys R Us dying... damn Mitt Romney's Bain Capital and the most important reason:
Mattel quarter assing stuff with their" least amount of effort" dogma.

Monster High fans were disappointed when Mattel started cutting corners on the line. Mattel's reluctance to do anything with their catalaog. They had MOTU AND LICENSE TO MAKE THUNDERCATS TOYS... DC DROPS THEM A CROSSOVER COMIC BOOK what does Mattel do?
Cancels both lines and shuts down their adult collectibles division...

They own Dino Riders and have the license for Jurassic Park figures... wouldn't it be a nice time to bring back Dino Riders... if just to keep the molds when the JP license expires?

But Mattel is Mattel and sadly, their "laziness" seems to be their undoing...

Jul 27, 2018

The Blood Moon rises once again...

Be careful Link...

Sadly, I can't see it, but my boss is making me work Sunday, so I'm feeling the Blood Moon's effect..

The NECA TMNT 1990 Movie Set has shipped. Yes!

It's official ...

Jul 26, 2018

Holy ass crackers there's a Black Buffy Reboot

And it's delightfully evil...
Hell, even Scam Artist Feminist Media Critic... Yes, you know Thousand pounds of makeup, plaid shirts, hoop earrings, Everything is Sexist, everything is racist, everything is homophobic and you have to point it all out is having a bout of NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRDD RAAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEE!!!

It's really odd for me and her being on the same side... This is like Skeletor and He-Man teaming up against a common foe.
But seriously, wasn't she one of the people mocking the nerd rage others have had in the past when changes like this happened? Now because it's something SHE LIKES it can't be touched?

This is how this conversation is going:

Me: I don't like the idea of rebooting Buffy. Period.

Tumblr: You just racist. You hate that she's black now!

Me: No, she could be white, Asian, Latina, or any other ethnicity and I would complain just the same. I don't want ANY REBOOT AT ALL!! NO REBOOTO AL BUFFYO!

Tumblr: You Racist Bastard!

Oh yeah, people are complaining that Joss Whedon, Creator of Buffy is involved with this...
Something something adulterer and sexual harasser... SOOOOOO then y'all should be complaining that this reboot is being done at all, since it gives him money!

Race and genderbending have become the new ...IN SPACE!!
Here's hoping for the Asian Brady Bunch reboot... and where's my Saved By the Bell gritty reboot?

How I would've BK Kid's Club-ized POP...

I know I mentioned that I hate the faux diversity of colorizing of a cast "for diversity's sake". I strongly believe that these changes cannot be done willy-nilly.
Like now this one is black, this one is fat,  one is Asian, this one is in a wheelchair, etc. That is because we fall in the Tokenism side of the spectrum.
Surprised the nerd wasn't Asian.
Don't get me wrong, DIVERSITY IS GOOD, WHEN DONE PROPERLY.  So far, the 2018 She-Ra has shown signs of heading in the tokenist direction. So, as a mental exercise with LOTS OF OVERTHINKING, I will try to make the most artificially diverse POP Cast WHILE JUSTIFYING each change in a way that it would make sense in a world where a group of freedom fighters try to recover their world from the evil invader overlord, who may or may not have parallels with certain current world events...
Obvious parallels with the Nazis and the Horde are already there. I won't be going there, that path has been walked by everyone.

My first change would be making Bright Moon a sort of "Spain/Latin America" of Etheria. This change is for a couple of reasons:
-serves as an allegory of the tense relationship between the US and Latin America (the CIA toppling governments and "freedom fighters" toppling CIA puppets)
-since Latinos are a super diverse group we can have visual differences, while sounding somewhat homogenous.
-we can use the "Macho Latin Lover" stereotype with Bow, gave his misogyny backfire on him without it being "TOO OFFENSIVE" than if ge were to be, say, black.
-it also allows the old European notion that people with darker skin were commoners who had to break their backs under the hot sun, while nobles had fairer skin.
This old backwards way of thinking CAN BE USEFUL if used properly... like say having a mixed race Glimmer. Born from the Royal family and on the run from the Evil Horde, but has the skintone of a commoner. Perfect way to rally the troops and to become a symbol.

So let me begin with Angella, Glimmer and Micah.
Micah: is a fair skinned purple haired man with some hints of the Etherian equivalent of Romani People. (Mystacor) The idea is that Mystacor is "The birthplace of ancient mages" in Etheria and as wandering mages went through the planet, they began settling in other towns, kingdoms, hamlets, etc.
Maybe Glimmer and Castaspella have a common relative 14 generations before them, or Frosta and Peekablue could be related (if one were to trace their genealogy a couple of centuries before ) but back to Micah. He has Light powers like his daughter but are limited to Hard Light Constructs (ie, making a light sword and shield). Something about the Royal family of Bright Moon be mostly composed of Lunar Knights (males who can make Light Constructs) and the Mages, being Female, who NOT ONLY can make constructs, they can manipulate Light in many ways: become invisible, create illusions by light-bending, fire energy blasts, etc. The Moon Stone of Bright Moon can amplify the power of a Lunar Knight or Mage, but, this stone powers up the magical protections of the city. Without it, the city is not only defenseless, but its wielder runs a grave danger. Its power can be maddening.
That is the main reason why Micah ises the stonw to power the kingdom. It's too much power for one person to wield.

Angella: is dark skinned (thinking a Grace Jones skin tone here) With Strawberry blonde hair She is the former Queen of Mizar, who andicated the throne when she fell in love with Prince Micah of Bright Moon and married him (this was to preserve the independence of her people, but bith kingdoms are allies). The winged people of Mizar draw their power from the Sun. Their light powers allow for purificationand healing (of others. Their healing powers do not work on themselves.) They can irradiate energy that can inspire others.

Glimmer: is obviously a Mulatta. White father + black mother. She would be a bit on the scary thin side, due to health issues related to her powers. She is wheelchair bound most of the series. (I would have her walking when she finds and abuses the moonstone powers). Her powers are inconsistent, because she is mostly self taught, her nursemaid, Madame Razz may know Twigget magic, but Sun and Lunar Magic are a huge mystery to her. Once Bright Moon is freed from the Horde and Angella acts as regent until they can find Micah,  Glimmer begins to train in sun and lunar magic. Her health would improve as the series progresses, but she will remain on her wheelchair.

Double Trouble: she is Olive skinned, since she is related to Glimmer, she would also be a Latina. As a shapeshifter she can be anyone she'd like. The Horde doesn't know about this power because she can resist Shadow Weaver's mind probe. (She can rewire her brain automatically as a defense from mind probes either chemical or magical.
The big twist is that her Evil Personality is male. The outfit for the character would be baggy to hide the fact that both "Beckham" and "Rebekkah" are one person. (Before you ask, yes, Berg Katse was a bit of an inspiration for this) And it allows Mattel to double dip and make two versions of her/him.

Bow: is a fair skinned "Latino" to show that he comes from a noblehouse. Brash, cocky, a bit lecherous (as much as we can get away with in a children's cartoon),  chauvinistic, sexist, "alpha male" often gets in trouble due to his attitude. When the Horde attacked Bright Moon, Bow's father and him helped save Princess Glimmer from the horde. (Bow was about 13 and Glimmer was 5) He sees Glimmer as his little sister and swore to his father that he would protect the Princess until Etheria was free. He has stuck with the Rebellion as Glimmer's bodyguard. Only his squire and best friend, Josh and Kowl, the flying Know-it-owl, majordomo of House Reccula are the only survivors of his Family's estate after the invasion. Both of them get into arguments with Bow to cool his jets.

Josh: is a brown skinned Latino,  who is seemingly of common birth. A squire of the young Lord Kyle (Bow) Josh has gotten in many scrapes to stop Bow from doing something stupid. Apparently there is some royal blood in him, since he can "coat" items with light and use them as "light weaponry" (ie, take a stick and create an energy field around it, creating a sort of rapier) He's calm, cool, collected... pretty much the opposite of Bow.

Castaspella: As I already Mention the Romani, Castaspella and to an extent Shadow Weaver should have a bit of a "Gypsy vibe" to them. Kinda darker Mediterranean skin tone, black hair for weaver and brown for Casta. The reason for using Romani people as mages comes from the idea that Romani people where sorcerers. Since Etheria is kind of an Eurocentric  Fairy Tale world (which WOULD EXPLAIN THE ORIGINAL'S WHITENESS!!) I went with the people who have a mythology of magic and mystery as inspiration.

Frosta: The inspiration for her is easily traced to the Native tribes that live in the coldest regions of Alaska and Siberia. While she's a cryomancer and The cold doesn't bother her anyway ;) I chose Frosta to be the heavyset one. Lives in the cold and a thicker layer of fat would keep her a bit warmer than if she were Glimmer thin.

Entrapta: You know she is white because only bad guys are allowed to be white and it's offensive to have evil minorities.

Flutterina: She is white, and speaks with an Irish Accent. (Keeping her white so if MOTU crosses over and the Neitlichverse marriage of Clamp Champ and her happens, the "progressiveness" is kept.)

Mermista: Samoan inspired. Because having Originality with sea faring characters is overrated. But mostly because I want her to use a sort of leiomano...

Perfuma: Since she's a plant elemental, she's green,  because chlorophyll. And Captain... Kirk demands... his... saCRifice!

Peekablue: Going Classical Greek on her. Both on outfit, hair and face. She would be like a Greek statue. Lining up with the whole ORACLE thing she has going on.

Sweet Bee: Here I will take a HUGE departure... She will still be white... BUUUUT She will be a LOT more insectoid in her default state. To "Blend in better" with the Etherians, she takes the appearance of a white girl. (Mostly because Mattel wouldn't want to sell an insectoid doll to girls. The toy would be the reversed thing Girl with insectoid clip-ons) She will be a bit thicker, but that's due to her Bee Nature.

Netossa: is White!! And you almost had a heart attack there. She will remain black. She will have an athletic build with strong arms to toss her nets. Her outfit will have Asian influences, but that's due to her betrothed.

Spinnerella: ASIAN!! Why? Simple... Her spinning around reminded me of Darkstalkers' Hsienko and Ranma 1/2's Mousse. Seeing that all she does is spin around having a lot of roped or chained weapons coming out of her clothes to damage her opponents seemed like a good idea. She is Netossa's betrothed. She would have a lithe, petite frame, though her clothes are bulky looking (due to the ridiculous amount of weapons within... I mean she has enough weapons to arm 20 people with MULTIPLE weapons.)

Catra: WHITE HUMAN... Cause she's evil and cannot be anything other than white. No I won't make her into a furry... Full time, of course. She will have a hybrid mode. (Mostly snap on pieces for the feet and hands on the toy.) and a full panther mode (sold separately)

Sea Hawk: He would be a Tanned Latino... with a cybernetic arm and from the waist down, he'd be cybernetic as well... Also, he's fat, greedy and even more Brash, cocky, a bit lecherous (as much as we can get away with in a children's cartoon),  chauvinistic, sexist, "alpha male" than Bow.

Light Hope would be female.

These would be the mostly off-the cuff changes I would have done IF I HAD BEEN IN THE POSITION OF HAVING TO USE A FAUX DIVERSITY BRUSH on this project.
The focus of the show would be Adora's redemption, the Great Rebellion Kicking Ass and freeing their people while being super cool and super badass. I would not go for the "It's for little girls" angle. Mostly because it LIMITS the show. It needs to be a show that BOTH Girls and Boys can enjoy. It needs to be entertaining, while it teaches cooperation, teamwork, standing up for what's right, friendship, and other positive values. If you make it "for girls", for some reason action gets toned down and they go for too much talking... with no real character growth. If you make it "for boys" it's nearly all action and no real character growth. But we can't forget the REAL TARGET AUDIENCE...
the 30-somethings that want to pass on the torch. While Yes the kids are the "Official Target Audience" by Calling it She-Ra you want my old ass watching. So, IF I were in charge I would strive to make a show "FOR KIDS" that is also "RESPECTFUL ENOUGH TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL" that "OLD FARTS LIKE MYSELF WOULD ENJOY WATCHING IT".

I am Highly critical of this reboot, BECAUSE OF HOW IMPORTANT POP IS TO ME. Right now I'm afraid that these Hipsters (who I'm pretty certain didn't grow up with the show) are going to take a massive dump on it. 

Jul 22, 2018

Aquaman and Shazam: Telling Snyder to go *expletive deleted* himself.

Aquaman and Shazam trailers were dropped during SDCC:

Well, While there is a little "Snyder stench" in Aquaman, especially at the beginning of the trailer with the dark over dark and depressive vibe, it slowly transforms in something bright, colorful AND BADASS... It made me forget that Khal Drogo was playing Aquaman...

But the best of the two is Shazam!

Yes, it's Incredibly Cheesy... NO! I did not try to dip nachos on my screen *hides nachos* I LOVE IT! Could you imagine a Zack Snyder dark,brooding, dreary Captain Marvel... errr... Shazam!?
Exactly! Not ALL Heroes need to be dark and brooding... Nor they need to have moms called

I'm excited for DC to finally realizing that not all heroes have to be Batman... Now these two movies better NOT suck, otherwise... who am I kidding: The Snyderites will purposely leave bad reviews and blame Disney for ruining DC because it's not a Suck Snyder film...

Looking back on Megaman 9 and 10 Faux NES is not da wae.

There, I said it: Faking Retroness is Not going forward, but backwards. After the beautiful Megaman 8, 9 decides to EMULATE NES Graphics... Not just that, they decided to Emulate MEGAMAN 2... No Slide, No charge shot for Mega Man. Protoman is a paid DLC and "Hard Mode"... Son of a Bitch! I'm having trouble with Mega Man... and you want me to PAY for getting my ass kicked... Dude, this is an Anthology, all the DLC should have come with the game... What a load of crap! UPDATE: There is a cheat code: UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, DOWN, UP, UP, DOWN on the title screen of 9 or 10 and it unlocks the DLC.

With the complaining out of the way... The game feels Mega Man 2-ish... 4-ish in hard if playing as Protoman.

The game is good. I won't deny that... A bit on the difficult side if you aren't super hardcore Mega Man fan.

The pseudo Retro look is a double edged sword... I get WHY they did it, I just disagree with it... It works on FAN games like the MMxSF game from a few years back, but nearly 12 years after MEGAMAN 8, We get THIS?
A MegaMan 2 wannabe with all of its flaws being brought back!? (tons of deaths that require pixel perfect jumps and memorization of levels... Kinda like most of the troll levels Dachie plays in Super Mario Maker.) We could've gotten a beautiful sprite based game... Just imagine a 32-bit sprite of Splashwoman, or Hornetman...

Megaman 10 at least gives you an "easy mode" for less skilled players... It makes the game ridiculously easy, but it reduces by a lot the amount of BS deaths from 9. Oh it still has plenty of BS deaths.

In an attempt to go back to 2 they simply accentuated the worst aspects of 2 and broke the nostalgia goggles and instead of waking up with Jennifer Lawrence you wake up with Nigel Thornberry.
I feel 10 is slightly better of the two because of...

Freaking Bass!!

Now I await for 11... Hoping it becomes a true savior of Mega Man and not a false prophet like Mighty Number 9.

SDCC 2018 Goddammit, I'm not made out of money!!!

Mattel, Hasbro, Super7, AND Storm Collectibles really want to rape my Wallet.

I already mentioned Snake Mountain from Super7... That's enough from them to have my wallet begging for mercy.
Not only they are doing a new DCUC scale Batman Beyond... shway! Then there's this...
MY Barry Allen, goddammit!! also
MY Wonder Woman!!

A Not-MOTUC body Lobo... I sense Skeleteen Customs coming...

They are also doing this:
You know I need this, Grant, Sattler, Hammond, Wu, Nedry, Arnold, Muldoon, Gennaro, the kids
OK, so Mattel isn't hitting me hard... 2019 Tumblr She-Ra toys...

Hasbro is outdoing themselves with the Legends...

Charles with the freaking Hoverchair!!

Wilson Fisk BAF

Gambit... Not pictured a Jim Lee Storm

Silver Sable!!
There is also a deluxe Archangel exclusive to Entertainment Earth, which I already preordered after getting a China Wars bootleg that was VERY Disappointing.
The "Vintage" waves are making a comeback: Wasp, Black Panther, Vision, Antman and Scarlet Spider... (I also got one from China Wars... It was good, waiting on getting a Spider-Gwen and jackal to make a review of them for obvious reasons)
No, seriously, I bought an extra Peter Parker head to have a Ben Reilly and Hasbro does this...
They will reissue some Star Wars hard to find figures and now all that's left to complete the Rebels team is Zeb...

There's a Sentinel with a DoFP Wolverine set from Amazon...
M'Baku, Vegeta Outfit Killmonger, Shuri...
Thank god I quit Marvel Legends... Oh wait, I got back...

Icon Heroes will make a set of VERY SPECIAL 6-inch figures...
I won't reveal the toyline... I'll just use some quotes and you figure out the line:
We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.
Get him a body bag! Yeah!
 I learn plenty, yeah, I learned how to sand your decks maybe. I washed your car, paint your house, paint your fence. I learn plenty!

Yes, Mr. Lawrence and Mr. LaRusso will be 6-inch scale figures...

NECA has a John Connor and a t-800 that I want...

Mom would've loved These... So I might get them for her... and for me since I do enjoy Golden Girls.

Last but not Least Storm Collectibles.
and Terry Bogard is coming... My poor wallet
Then there's the SFII Figures... namely Ken... Cause, I don't care much for satsui no hado ni mezameta Ryu.
But the raping of the wallets is called...

Ninjas, Ninjas everywhere... Ninjas with boobs, Ninjas without humanity, Unmasked ninjas from MK3, and Baraka...

Seriously, I'm not made out of money!! Why did you have to be so awesome SDCC 2018!?
For example, I can cull Connor, Teh Terminator, the Golden Girls, Half of what I posted from ML, which I had to cull a lot from and still it's wallet raping... Cause screw everything I need Snake Mountain... I still need to find a way to get Ermac.

I didn't mention the $200-ish $160 MOTU from Mondo because $200-ish $160 MOTU from Mondo... I think Mom was alive when they announced them.

Jul 21, 2018

Debunking strawmen: She-Ra 2018...

I didn't want to do this, but with themarysue still creating strawmen about people who dislike the dreamworks version, I thought I should rant about this:

You hate it cause you're an alt-right Breitbart reading racist.
That's one of the main excuses going around.
This is a load of crap!
I have to admit that SOME of the dislike may be rooted in racism for some people. Others (myself included) want to preserve the characters as close as possible to the source Material.
Now dismissing an opposing view by demonizing the opponent instead of the argument is a shitty tactic.
Also, they are a bunch of hypocrites. They claim that Bow's whiteness is not inherent to the character, so they cam switch it around. Nettossa whose blackness is NOT inherent to the character CANNOT BE RACE SWAPPED.
All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others?
The stance of non racist people who are being accused of racism is: don't remove to include... ADD. IF you have a "mandate from above" to play the race swap, then ALL ARE FAIR GAME.

White, "Asian", "Native American", or any non-black ethnicity can be applied to Nettossa if Bow, Frosta, etc. Can be hit by the pseudodiversity brush.

Diversity is not just a visual thing: what's the point of LOOKING diverse if the characters have a hive mind?
True diversity needs characters of different perspectives, races, and cultures coming together DESPITE their differences and becoming better.

Too many characters is a BS excuse: Shadow Weaver, Madame Razz, Huntara, Sea Hawk, Gwneral Sundar... all of these weren't part of the toyline, but became important characters to the PoP Lore. They could have easily integrated "new" characters to the show and add diversity to the team without altering the main characters.

You hate it beccause you can't fap to her, you dirty pedophile!
This is another popular one to demonize people who dislike the new redesigns.
First of all, THIS IS THE INTERNET,  and there is a saying on the internet: "If it exist, there is porn of it." Loli She-Ra won't stop the fappers. There is Porn of The Brave Little Toaster and such. If people fap to the Brave Little Toaster, 12 year old boyish She-Ra won't be spared...

I get that there is a "mandate from above"... starting to sound like those Mattel execs that had it against guru and were loyal readers of the House of Rants. But back on track, the issue many are having is that she looks manly... in some official material. You CAN MAKE HER LOOK FEMININE  WITHOUT "SEXING HER UP". Various pieces of fan art made after the official announcement show that a She-Ra 2018 can be feminine, look like a young teen and not be "sexy" while retaining femininity.
Star Butterfly reads female teen, but is super stylized, nothing reads "sexualized" here. Also her design is super androgynous... just look at Princess Marco... In fact, the whole PRINCESS MARCO THING explains the issue some fans are having with She-Ra 2018.

Her cuirass hides her feminine figure (more noticeable in Adora).
Body proportions are a tool to identify a character as male or female. Breasts and wider hips are the easiest.
Slightly bigger lips, or painted lips are a quick and easy identifier. Eyelashes help as well.

As you can see on this pic, I only drew the hair, sword, and 200X Adam outfit over She-Ra 2018. No tweaks to the body.  "As cliched as they may be, gender identifiers, exist for a reason." *To me* they simply used BAD ART to promote the character. (Netflix's banner fixed it a bit.) Heck, I'm willing to bet that most of the R34 of this take of She-Ra will be crossdressing boys.

Some try to paint her outfit as more realistic than her 80s Tennis player outfit. I'm like: Magic sword grants her powers that theoretically allow her to go toe to toe against Pre-Crisis Superman. But let's pretend that the Utena knockoff jacket is a cuirass... you know what goes great with that? It's not a pseudo skirt frilly decoration... it's armored tassets. Also, you know what doesn't fit in this equation? Bike shorts. Full on pants would have been more acceptable if we were going for "realism".

You hate this, how can you call yourself a fan of POP?
Well, I grew up with the property, I played with the dolls as a kid, I bought all the POP figures from MOTUc and campaigned almost every sub rally...  I'm probably a much bigger POP fan than half the people working on this... but this is not a dick measuring contest.
You can like a property but not ALL OF THE VERSIONS.
That crappy argument is ridiculous. (Hating the whole property because you don't like one iteration)
Do you like Transformers? Including the Bay movies? Even the time when they used penis-tongues to make out with little girls and get them naked inside them?
Pedoformers More lolis inside...
If you hate Kiss Players, you're not a Transformers fan...

It's not for you, but for kids/new generation
It's called She-Ra... of course it's interested in me watching and bringing others because of my nostalgia. If it wasn't, it'd be called something else.

Ahhh, it feels good to get that of my chest, but now some final words. Hopefully, I won't have to talk about this until I watch it in November and either I eat crow or I will ruthlessly tear it a new one. Also, Mattel might make toys for 2019...

"People can have negative first reactions. They can have positive reactions as well. But attack the argument, not the person, no matter which side you're on."

Jul 19, 2018

Super7 dropped the MOAB...

Attacking hard and leaving me dumbstruck... Club Grayskull wave 3 is mostly PoP... She-Ra  (who will probably be super short and unable to ride swift wind unless you get the Hawke hips one...) Mantenna, Grizzlor with no real sculpted fur and a Meh! FISTO... GET IT? Mephisto? Because that's the guy you'll want on your corner...
$195 grayskull dungeon grate rug...
But that's not what makes me want to have Mephisto in my corner...
No pricing info yet, but Pixel Dan will try to pry that info from Bryan Flynn...

Shame that Mom isn't here for this...

Theoretical He-Man for the new She-Ra... grrr...

I'm starting to think that the netflix folks are trying to troll me.

A member of the Trollhunters team made a Theoretical He-Man and the results speak for themselves. It's Adam with He-Man's harness on top of his clothes. Holy crap, now I know why I hate it...
Cloth version of his Nu52 armor... but THAT IS NOT what I want to talk about... Look at She-Ra... she is FEMININE while retaining the petite proportions. I STILL HATE THE OUTFIT... mostly the Tiara, biker pants and that the skirt is not a skirt and lends itself for easy erotic art... (which destroys the theory from certain groups claiming that "men hate the new designs because they can't fap to it.")

Alright, I lied, I just wanted to purge a bit of venom before I went for a tirade on the theoretical He-Man...
I already mentioned him looking more like Adam wearing a He-Man harness than being He-Man. I mentioned his outfit evoking the nu52 MOTU...
The third nitpick is:
What is He-Man? I mean the definition of the term...
a well-built, muscular man, especially one who is ostentatiously so... That is the definition of He-Man... this Boy, while athletic, he's no He-Man. He needs Canseco juice...

Jul 17, 2018

They fucked up Glimmer... Fuck the New She-Ra! *language*

Fuck the new She-Ra cartoon... fuck it in the belly button sideways. How DARE THEY FUCK UP GLIMMER!!
She LOOKS JUST LIKE ME!!! SHE SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE ME!! Glimmer is supposed to be the Resident Child of the Rebellion, yet she looks like a "Mom"...
She has a "Mom robe" and a "Motherly" haircut and she stole Kurt Angle's leotard...
Not to mention fingerless long gloves...
Seriously, What the Fuck!? Why is she FAT!? She SHOULDN'T BE FAT!!
And no, it has nothing to do with the Goddess status she has at the House of Rants... It has to do with canon.
A Fat Princess leading a group of oppressed people to overthrow the evil overlords...
Again: How can you be oppressed when you look that you've been overthrowing pizzas into your stomach's dungeon?
Also, also: God, that outfit! If it wasn't for Adora and "Bow" standing next to her, I wouldn't have known it's Glimmer. Nothing in that Outfit Reads Glimmer.
Tyrone doesn't look too bad... He's supposed to be a bit older than Adora and Glimmer, but he looks younger. But he thing is that this is incredibly racist. Think about it.
Remember  the Bow/Adora dynamic...  Now apply it to Tyrone here... The black guy being friendzoned by the white girl... Tyrone ain't good enough for Adora and I'm willing to bet that Sea Hawk will be White, fit, and handsome. See where I'm going here? By trying to be "progressive" the show is being inadvertently racist. If Sea Hawk is white, the racism will double.
Now speaking of Bow, the character:
He was always "falling for all the girls" Especially Adora/She-Ra, not to mention that he can be VERY Chauvinistic... in some circles, "borderline misogynistic"... But we could get away with laughing at Bow's misogyny, because he was WHITE!! Having a white woman like Adora teach Tyrone how to be woke... a white woman talking down to a black guy...

Well, at least Tyrone put some effort in pretending to look like Bow.
But wait, there's more:

Catra: Jealous Beauty... Jealous, maybe... Beauty? I don't think so.  Why is she a furry now?
This reeks of MOTU racism... think about it: The Definitive Human looking Hordeswoman now looks like a Thundercats reject. The idea of having Monsters in human guise was lost on these fools! Now we have ALL THE EVIL HORDE LOOKING LIKE LITERAL MONSTERS, while the rebels all look like humans. Literally the NA Racism I made reference...
If she's already a "cat-Woman" why would she need to turn into a cat?

Now that my Initial, Secondary, AND Tertiary Rage has subsided, here are my more calm thoughts:
Diversity and Inclusion aren't a bad thing: The problem is when you have established characters and you try to force them in those boxes. That doesn't gel well, because Either the Character's personality, or their new "Minority status" will suffer.
The First She-Ra image that looked boyish, well, it still does. There's a new She-Ra banner where she looks Slightly more feminine in her torso waist and hips proportions. you can vaguely see it also on Adora.

I am still Angry about Glimmer... They went full Animator's guide to appeal to Tumblr on her.
Glimmer is supposed to be a faint flickering light. You know how to represent a faint flickering light?
a short and slender girl... The complete opposite of the Tall and Plump Scootaloo wearing Kurt Angle's singlet. But I challenged myself to a quick and dirty edit:
Still not a fan of Glimmer, but I tried to give her some more cues that said: This is Glimmer. I didn't add a Tiara because messing with that wad of bubblegum on her head is a pain in the ass.

Speaking on quick MSPaint edits... Oh god, I missed ranting on my PC!!

I want to like this, because it's She-Ra... My beef is mostly with the "creative" team that seem to be more interested in filling up quotas and blatantly obvious agendas instead of making a great show. I want to be excited for this, but every little thing about it just makes me angrier on how they are screwing this up. I wish I could eat crow, but signs are pointing in the opposite direction.

Jul 16, 2018

13th Doctor teaser...

Apparently, not liking that New Boyish She-Ra means I hate Princess of Power. But there's something out there that makes me wonder: Why?

This is the 13th Doctor teaser.
Messes with a black guy's breakfast in current year... that's racist.
Brings a pizza to a girl... that's sexist. Currwnt year and the Doctor is in the kitchen...
Calls an old man flatulent by giving him a beano ad... that's ageist!
Also she can now manipulate time so she can move like a Speedster? That's detivative, unoriginal, and irresponsible!! Current Year, yo!
If I was less than enthused before, now I can't even...

Instead of trying to I don't know, impress fans and shut detractors' mouths; they added fuel to the fire with this less than impressive teaser. Hopefully SDCC will deliver a wow worthy trailer.

Jul 15, 2018

New She-Ra officially revealed...

It looks like Cole Sprouse dressed as a girl...
OK, Cole Sprouse as a girl looks better than this...
Good news is that Androgynous She-Ra won't show up until November.

As you can see, my fears are all confirmed...
She has the awful skort, she is as flat as a 12 year old boy, with shoulders as broad as a boy  and many boyish features... poor professor Oak is completely confused.

This is my problem with third wave feminists: ANYTHING REMOTELY FEMININE THAT CAN BE CONSIDERED ATTRACTIVE BY STRAIGHT MEN IS EVIL! Something something, male gaze, something. Iy almost seems that if it's remotely feminine it's bad, wrong, weak... and that good, right, and powerful NEEDS TO LOOK MASCULINE.

Let's look at She-Hulk:
That's the new third wave feminist friendly She-Hulk... Notice how manly she looks...
What was wrong with the previous version of She-Hulk?
Nothing, other that she was strong, empowered AND FEMININE!
It's almost as if third wave feminism HATED feminine looking women. (If men and the patriarchy are evil, why are they trying to make women be more like them?)

Back to She-Ra:
I'm not asking for a 36DD 24 38 figure on her. All I wanted was for her to read Female. Let's look at the Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir
She-Ra's body looks closer to Chat Noir's than Ladybug.
In trying to not make her "a sex object" they turned into a young boy... (Insert Herbert the Pervert reference here)
The DC Superhero Girls figures aren't voluptuous, but they read as TWEEN or TEEN girls. She-Ra does not.
Hell even her hair looks messed up.
It looks like she has the Despara buzzcut and that a blonde wig is floating in the background.
Yes, I'm going on and on with the physical appearance because of this:
Very crude drawing  but you get the idea. Minimum effort for Prince Adam here... If I could pull this off with a rudimentary paint application, imagine if a skilled photoshop expert attempted this...

Jul 14, 2018

Looking back on Megaman 7 and 8: Graphical updates, bitch!

This is the first rant I'm writing on my desktop pc since 2017... I finally was able to get it to work and now I'm sitting on my desk George R.R. Martin style... the only exception is that I'm able to rant from my phone as well and have done so this past year... More like 9 months, but you get the idea...
Write, George, Write!!

OK, so Megaman 7... This game came 2 years after the release of Megaman X... Keep that in mind.
Also the game was made in 3 months!? Holy asscrackers, Batman! If THAT WAS ACCOMPLISHED IN 3 MONTHS, Imagine if they had actually had a decent development time for a game. So it had a couple of things going against it:
Short development time meant that it was unpolished compared to previous games.
IT CAME AFTER MEGA MAN X AND MEGA MAN X2!! Both games being superior entries, mostly to the enhancements done to X. Basically Mega Man 7 had the deck stacked against it.

I LIKE Mega Man 7. I find the game mostly enjoyable... Screw you, Turbo Man stage with your Fire Man and Quick Man rehashes!! and Final Wily... God damn that Final Wahwee... No wonder Mega Man wants to kill him. (dude in the video is insane... The Dev team needed Energy tanks to beat Wahwee)
The Super Adapter Armor being a combo of both armors from 6 makes it more palatable, but the best treat is getting Proto Man's shield... That's the closest we got to BEING Proto Man...
Also, Shade Man's stage has a ghoulish secret... Super Ghouls and Ghosts music and a first screen that acts as tribute to that game. Pretty cool ,huh?

But let's be BRUTALLY HONEST Here... This is just a pretty coat of paint on the stale formula from 5 and 6, which are stale copies of 4 and 3, which are inferior copies of 2 which is an improvement of 1...

What Can Capcom do to make Mega Man cooler?
Well, Enter Megaman 8... a game so memeable that also causes nightmares.

What do you make of this? Horrible Jiggle Sandwich level of voice acting. I already mentioned the Jump Jump Slide Slide thing... which is what has stopped me from beating this game... this beautiful looking but awfully dubbed game... Now the issues is that there isn't really anything new to the series here. Sure I can use two weapons (buster and a Master Weapon) or use two master weapon effects together via quick switching like riding a tornado hold and using flame sword while riding the tornado hold, but compared to 7 it feels a bit limited...

So, if we were to ask how Mega Man games would rank from best to worst, this is a chart showing the consensus:
From left to Right 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,and 8.. Kinda obvious with the sprite
art progression...

The consensus is mostly clear on the first 6 games (some people rate 3 better than 2). 7 and 8 are the conundrum because haters claim that people who like them, do it because of the graphics... which they are kinda right. Both games possess some charm that couldn't be achieved with NES technology. But at the same time both games squandered their potential on more powerful consoles.
The Problem with the Classic Series of Mega Man is that they are clinging TOO HARD to the past. While the X series attempted progress in gameplay (not all changes were good X5 and 6, I'm looking at you. Haven't played the 3D MMX games, which we can blame x5 and 6 for that.) The Original series still has a hard-on for NES Era gameplay... We'll see that on the final part of this rant series with Mega Man 9 and 10...

Jul 13, 2018

It came from the toy chest: You weak Pathetic Fool!

Friday the 13th, what a perf3ct day to Mortal Kombat... like the SNES port of MK3, my Shao Kahn Is coming out of the Toy Chest on Friday the 13th.

Shao Kahn, evil ruler of Outworld and final boss of many Mortal Kombat games. He's trying to conquer Earth and those pesky Kombatants get in the way.
He also thinks that you suck!

Careful! He's expensive and min popped of a leg when messing around with him. I was going for an Al Bundy pose on the throne when his right leg popped off.
He can pull off most of his in game poses, but some require a stand, not included.
4.5 (leg popping off is annoying)

Paint and sculpt 
He looks like Shao Kahn there is no denying that. There is no visible slop or paint mishaps in mine. There are paint washes and airbrushing of accents on the figure to make him pop. I do have a tiny issue with the shoulderpads knocking off the helmet.
Mwahahahahahaha! You will never win!

That is not your throne!!
Extra head
War hammer
Extra hands (8)
 The hammer is heavy and his hands are soft... do the math...
3 against one? Doesn't seem fair... Wait till Goro shows up!

Shao Kahn gets a 4.83 as his final score. The biggest culprit is the leg popping issue when posing... and to a much smaller extent the weak hands and heavy hammer.
Buut it's outstanding to see a non-ninja Kombatant. Now that Goro is coming and I may need to sell my soul for Ermac... Here's hoping for Johnny Cage!!

Looking back at Megaman 5 and 6: teh suck is real.

Well, it's not so much that they suck, but they did feel stale... the formula is the same. 8 robot masters for megaman to defeat. Enter the final fortress of not Dr. Wahwee to discover that SURPRISE!! It was Wahwee all along! The new feature from 5 was Beat, which gave you extra firepower to fight bosses.
Megaman 4 and 5 are very similar... I can only remember Gravity Man's funky stage... and maybe the one with the jet ski. That was different, I guess?

6... the only good thing about 6 was the music... the Super Rush Adapters were L to the A to the M-E lame!!
The stages were meh. I can't truly say much about these two games because it would be retreading 4.

 Yes, this rant is super short but that's because the wow factor has been long gone from Megaman... I wonder if a graphical update would make a difference...

Jul 12, 2018

Loyal Subjects MOTU RETURN!!

And this time it's not yet another repaint wave...
Merman, King Randor, Sorceress, Fisto, Stinkor, Mekaneck, Zodac, Ramman, Orko, Wundar and Battle Cat...
Oh yeah, Battle Armor He-Man and Skeletor too!
Oh dammit, there goes my hentai money...
All jokes aside, hopefully TLS will fix their QC issues, because I stopped buying Thundercats becaise of how bad the QC had gotten. Hello Hot Topic my old friend...