Feb 28, 2023

It came from the Toy Chest: Tiger Bros Hoooooooo!

 I think it's rather obvious that I'm referring to the two tiger members of The Thundercats, Tygra and Bengali. Tygra is the architect that gets high and Bengali is just the Waluigi of Thundercats... but he's good with an anvil... or something.
Bengali: You know it's not gay unless the balls touch...
Tygra: What?
Bengali: Our weapons are euphemisims for our penises and it's not gay unless our balls touch.
Tygra: What in the Third Hell are you talking about... Oh, you just had to copy my bolos... Blasted Waluigi!


Articulation:
There's nothing notable in the articulation of these two figures. If you're used to Super7 following the MOTUC Articulation, you know what to expect.
T: 4.5 B: 4.5
Tygra: Die Monster, you don't belong in this world!
Mumm-Ra: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, really? I was around when ot was a Horrible Night to Have a curse!!
Bengali: What is a man!? A miserable little pile of secrets! Enough talk, Have at you!
Mumm-Ra: He really is the Waluigi...


Paint and sculpt:
Yes, Tygra is missing his elbow pad. No, Super7 won't give us one, even by sliding it in with another figure. Other than that Tygra is OK. Incredibly enough, I have no complaints about Bengali, other than he exists.
T: 4.5 B: 5.0
Tygra: Gott'im! Now, Bengali!
Bengali: *Bonk!*
Mumm-Ra: *pain noises*
Bengali: Mumm-Ra got nards!


Accessories:
Tygra has:
Extra hands
Extra head
3 versions of his bolo whip. Sadly the full plastic version on mine has a small paint issue in one of the bolos.
Bengali: I'll be making a Rokujukyumai steel for the new Sword of Omens.
Tygra: Isn't that 69 folds in Hachiman's language...
Bengali: Pretty much. I wanted to make a Canister Damascus but we don't have White Out fluid on Third Earth.
Nefty VO: I can't wait for the Kill test whewe I Thwust the blade into a ballistics gel dummy... wait! Apparently, I'm not allowed to make a Doug Marcaida Impression and use the word Kill in it, because it's KEAL... as in Keeping Everyone Alive... What's the L for? I don't get it.
He has said Kill lots of times already! Also, can anyone tell Montecore that he needs to heat up the ore before going Thor on it...
Bengali: Shut up Roy... yeah, I understood that reference! My Hammer is now rechristened as Johnny Cage and he hungers for your balls...
Tygra: Nice going, Waluigi, but it sounded a bit gay... not that there isn't anything wrong with being gay... I have gay friends...
Bengali: Name one.
Tygra: ...
Bengali: If you say me, Johnny Cage will go after you too!


Bengali has:
Extra head
Extra hands
Hammer
Anvil
Pedestal
Ore
Sword of Omens (being reforged)

As much as it pains me, Bengali has the better amount of stuff.
T: 4.0 B: 5.0
Tygra: The sword seems to have a bit of a warp.
Bengali: You think!? Why do you think I'm fixing it!?
Nefty VO: Ten minutes until the end of round 2!


Overall
I hate this... Tygra fared lower than Bengali by getting a 4.33 vs Waluigi's 4.83 it's obvious that the lamer Thundercat got more care put into him after the issues with Tygra and that Bengali as a character sucks donkey dick.
Now all I need is Snarf and the Thunderkittens to finish Thundercats... and to review Lynx-O.
Nefty: Now remember, this test isn't  about what the Sword can do to the coffin, but what the coffin does to the sword.
Tygra: These Forged in Fire references are getting a bit too repetitive.
Bengali: Just like the Castlevania ones?
Tygra: Shut up!
Nefty: Before I start, is the flaming pattern a reference to something, waste of space?
Bengali: I swear, if I hear another indirect attack on my sexuality, I'm going to bust some balls!
Nefty: He doth protest too much... and no, you white moron; it wasn't a reference to your latent homosexuality. I was wonderong if this was a reference to one of the times that Lion-O got the sword broken.


Feb 26, 2023

Little Misfortune: the review: the rant

 YouTube has the algorithm working overtime by promoting the indie game Little Misfortune and I ended up buying the game on Switch, becauae it was on sale and I had some Nintendo points, which made the $7 game (normally at $20) into a $5 and change game. The game is made in Unity (curiously, one of the very popular engines used to make adult games for PC. Yes, I know because I play them, alright?) The game is somewhere between a visual novel and a point and click game. I mention this, because not all indies are the same and they can vary between awesome and crap, like AAA games, but theoretically far cheaper... 

Personally I'm not a huge fan of indie games, this is due to many of them being pure and unadulterated hipster crap pretending to be games. Luckily for me, Little Misfortune isn't one of those.



Story:
You're Misfortune, an 8 year old girl who hears a voice in her head. The voice challenges her to a game and she embarks on an Adventure to locate The Eternal Happiness.
8.5

Graphics:
The graphics are very stylized and remind me of a children's picture book... Despite not being last gen, the simplicity of them suit their world perfectly.
9.5

Sounds and music:
The music does a great job of blending with the environment and gives off a late 80s/early 90s point and click game vibe, but without chiptune music. The voicework is really famcyyy... Mr. Voice reminds me a bit of the Narrator from Peppa pig, crossed with Little Kuriboh's Frieza voice from BBZA. Misfortune sounds like Ironmouse making a Scandinavian impression. 
9.5

Controls:
They are rather simple since the game behaves kinda like a point and click game, but your cursor is Misfortune Ramírez Hernández, a Swedish Latina. Sometimes you get to do some QTEs, but these are rare. They are pretty responsive, and you won't have any issues with them... unless you have controller drift issues.
10

Gameplay:
I already mentioned it being kinda like a hybrid between a visual novel and a point and click game with the Occasional Quick Timer Event. Basically, you are following the story and interacting with the universe when needed. Didn't get a Game Over on my first playthrough and I tried to.
7.0

Fun Factor:
The game isn't bad, but it offers very little repetitive value. I know it has at least two endings and I apparently got the best ending on my first try. There is some quirky and dark humor in the game and possibly the best fart joke in the history of video games.
So, I regretfully have to give it a 7.0

Overall:
Little Misfortune gets a Famcyyyyy 8.58 as its final score. The game is an enjoyable experience but I cannot fathom paying over $10 for it. 
Also, guess who has a cameo in the game...


Feb 25, 2023

Jada Toys Street Fighter Wave 3 Speculation

 Most of Jada Toys Street Fighter wave 1 is available for preorder. Chun Li is MIA at the moment. We know that Dhalsim, Bison, and Ken are Wave 2. Also, it seems that waves will be composed of 3 figures. The line is apparently based on Ultra Street Fighter 2, which means it's got the 17 SSFIIT roster AND Evil Ryu and Violent Ken. So, we have enough characters for 6 waves AND 1 spare... meaning that we need some "filler" to complete a full wave.

OK let's make a wave 3... but before we start, let's add a pic of Ryu and Fei Long, so we can determine the amount of accessories... which in comparison to Japanese Imports, Jada's are rather bare bones.

So, let's look at possible candidates for Wave 3. I will pick 9 characters that they could make and then out of those 9 I'll pick 3 for my theoretical wave 3:

Evil Ryu and Violent Ken won't be on the list because they're repaints of Ryu and Ken and PERSONALLY, I believe they should be saved for the last 2 USF2 waves.

First 3 will be the Parts Reuse club:
Basically, characters that can allow for some budget saving options but still have enough new parts to not feel like a rip-off... (like Evil Ryu or Violent Ken)
Akuma:
He's mostly a Ryu repaint with new Gi, beads, and heads. Ryu's hands and Hadoken would be reused.

Dee Jay:
He's basically a Ken repaint without his gi from the neck down with maybe a new crotch. New heads and Machinegun fist effect. If possible extra hands with maracas.

Dan:
I know what you're thinking: Why am I adding Dan here since this is a SF2 list:
I give you some SF2 Era art of Sagat carrying the beaten body of a ponytailed "Shotoclone".
It's Dan's first appearance in SF lore.
He's literally a set of heads (second head crying), Gadoken hand (a hand where the Gadoken can be plugged in since it doesn't travel too far)

The next tier will be characters that are Larger:
These guys usually require little to zero accessories.

E. Honda:
Aside an extra head, all he needs is a hundred hand slap effect for his hands.

Balrog: 
This one needs only an extra head because of his boxing gloves. 

Zangief:
Extra head, hands and green hand effect.

Tier 3 is the Normal sized folks.

Cammy:
Extra head and hands maybe one of the heads might be one without beret for her winning. Pose and a hand holding her beret.

Guile:
Extra hands, Sonic Boom and Stand. If possible a hand with his comb sculpted on it or 2 effects that plug into his fists as if Guile was mid way through firing a  Sonic Boom.

Vega:
Unmasked head, Open hand, loose mask can be grasped by it, claw hand without claw.

There I have 9 characters with high potential of making it to wave 3...
Yes, I know that Blanka, T. Hawk, and Sagat are popular too, but I could only choose 9. Then there's another slot that could be filled to reach 21 characters and have 7 waves of 3. But back to the topic at hand: what could be wave 3:
Here I'll do 2 wave 3: one will be what I expect. The other will be what I want:

I expect:
Dee Jay
Balrog
Guile

We get a break from Shotos, we get another of the Bosses and we get one of the most popular characters.

I want:
Dan (because he's a curve ball)
E. Honda 
Cammy

Of course I could be wrong and Jada chooses the 3 I didn't mention in full detail.
We're going to have to wait and see. Honestly, I hope we can get at least the SSFIIT roster.

Msrvel is doubling down on keeping Peter and MJ apart.

 In the recent run of "Amazing" Spider-Man comics, Peter told Felicia Hardy, aka Black Cat that he loves MJ like a sister and that he sees her like a best friend.


What the actual fuck is this bullshit!?

Best friend? Just to pair him up with Black Cat... The same Black Cat who only loves the Spider-Man side of Peter Parker? This is bad. I'm not mad at the idea of Peter and MJ not being together... I'm not a fan, but I wouldn't be pissed if the reason why they weren't together ACTUALLY MADE SENSE! A divorced Peter Parker makes more sense than a Satanic powered retcon that was fueled by Mephisto's fear out of Peter and MJ's love. 

Having Peter and MJ divorce because of her being close to him put her in too much danger and the best way to protect her was via divorce and her moving away to work at a distant branch of Stark Industries would make sense. That would leave Peter open to date in a non-serious manner, due to his WGPCGR issues and maybe open up a bit more amongst the super powered community. Eventually, he would gravitate towards Black Cat and it would be a logical change... the problem is that they soft retconned Pete and MJ's relationship after they found their way back together after the Satanic unmatriage retcon. The base of this separation Is still rooted on One Moronic Deal. That's the problem... 

But it seems that being genetically related to Peter Parker means you're getting cosmically screwed over.

Feb 23, 2023

He-Man's animated curse has struck yet again.

Netflix's CGI He-Man series is apparently canceled. Right before Hordak... according to the series main writer, the show was not renewed after we got a tease of Hordak being the new Faceless One... aka Evil-Lyn's Daddy. 

In a way I'm sad for its cancelation, since it means that the new generation wasn't able to be hooked by MOTU like I was. Also, I called it when I joked about Hordak being teased that it would kill the toon... and still i can't hit the Powerball.

As always, I will blame Mattel for this. They have lost their way with MOTU and this cartoon obviously wasn't it. The sad part is that this show could've been Good if it had been more faithful to MOTU. It would have also hooked the older fans, which right now are THE ONLY THING KEEPING MOTU ALIVE. The toys looked like happy meal toys and hit clearance incredibly fast. At least Origins have done rather well. Had Mattel done a cartoon and paired it with Origons, they would've had a winner.

I haven't forgotten the other side of the coin in this blame game... Netflix. We know about Netflix's cancelation games. Not to mention the skin-deep diversity mandates that end up being the "tokenization" they complain about. Like in THIS MOTU how they did Stratos dirty by turning him into a black stereotype. I wouldn't be surprised if Mattel made some changes in order to follow Netflix's guidelines. 

Guess that MOTU is forever destined to be a nostalgia trap that will die with my generation.

A Bible based Action Figure Line.

 I'm not exactly the most religious person. I've even had some falling out with my faith. As a Puerto Rican, I was raised Catholic but have dabbled with other denominations. I'll only mention a few, since there's a TON of denominations: among them were: Presbyterian, Lutheran, even one of those "Mega Churches with prosperity pastors a la Joel Osteen" aka Fuente de Agua Viva... apparently they have been screwed over by God, (bankruptcy in 2012, They had to sell a Worship Tower Project that was going to be like a Christian Disneyland next to their MegaChurch building, and Hurrican Maria ruined their main building beyond repair.) What I'm trying to say is that I've seen the similarities and differences between denominations. They Vaguely talk about this Jesus dude and many of them behave differently than this Jesus dude they claim to worship. This disconnect between words and acts that I've felt in various churches has led me to an awkward territory. Like, I'm not an Atheist, but Life has knocked most of the faith out of me. Am I an Agnostic?

What does my Crisis of Faith have to do with this rant? Well, it's the introduction to it and giving a slight perspective on my angle.

There's a Biblical Action Figure line being Kickstarted and it's FourHorsemen Adjacent. Chris Gawrych, Production Manager of FourHorsemen Studios, is making a Biblical Adventures toyline under his D13 brand and it's on Kickstarter now.

The line is in 1:12 scale... hopefully compatible with Marvel Legends, Jada's Street Fighter II, Lightning Collection, etc. There's Moses, St. Michael, the Archangel, Demon army Builders, Angel Army Builders and most importantly: Jesus Christ himself.
Divine Mercy Jesus Christ, which is the one I pre-ordered. Mostly. Because it has a more divine aura than Sacred Heart Jesus
I ALMOST want to get both to use the white tunic and the blue wrap for my "definitive Jesus".

The only disappointing thing is the lack of accessories these Jesus figures have. I mean Black Jesus gets a lot more stuff...
He's got the bread, the fish, a ton of extra hands, a shepherd staff and his base is walkable water.

I'm putting the focus on Jesus, because he's the main character of the New Testament. Also, because he has most of the variants...
We get a Transfiguration Jesus in Translucent "Force Ghost" blue... only available during this Kickstarter campaign...
So we're getting ALL the Jesus... except the one variant that hasn't been shown so far: Crucifixion Jesus. I know it sounds "wrong" but it's kind of an important variant to be left out. I'm  thinking something like:

Jesus with the cross, removable white robe revealing the wounded body after the Passion, alternate head, second cross with means to hold Jesus to it (probably hands and feet would have to be presculpted unto it and plug the body into said pieces.) Display base that can support the cross and Jesus.

But going back to the line iteslf. Female bodies and Goliath Sized bodies were implied... now I'm curious.

Whether you're a Christian or not, these action figures seem like an unique collectible and it's a bit peculiar that we're getting ACTUAL ACTION FIGURES with emphasis on being serious action figures of Biblical characters that actually look good instead of crap like this:


With 27 days to go and they're almost halfway there...
Good luck to Chris Gawrych on his endeavor...

New TMNT movie toys leaked

 Seems that the McFarlane rumor is most likely a dud... since the leak is from Playmates.

I was able to snag a pic before they were taken down.

As always, Playmates put a modicum of effort on the Turtles while the non-turtle characters get a lot less love. Surprisingly, they aren't quarter-assing the non-turtle folks. This time they're just half-assed.  I don't think I'll be buying these, because NECA and Super7 are delivering much better product.

For a PLAYMATES TOYS toyline, they seem decent. The only issue is that there are better TMNT toys out there and based on versions that I have an actual attachment to. I'm not saying that the movie is going to be bad. I'm only saying that on their own I'm not interested in these versions, or at least the take on them by Playmates Toys. If another company like:
Hasbro, Mattel, Jada, NECA, Super7, McFarlane, Storm Collectibles, Diamond Select, Bandai (Japan), Good Smile Company, or Kaiyodo, were to make these, I might be more interested. 

I know it sounds like I'm on the "Playmates sucks" bandwagon...  which I kinda am, but it's not that. The issue lies with Playmates "low risk" approach. They do the toy equivalent to companies making shovelware games as movie tie-ins. The sad part is that they HAVE the potential to be great... if they bothered to at least put more than minimal effort on their toys... like they did on the late 80s and early 90s.
In any case, once again, Playmates won't be getting my money... unless they do more Billie Eilish action figures. I want a normal looking Billie that hasn't tried to consume gallons of Tar. Is that too much to ask? HELL, If they make a Miley action figure with a 30 year old Miley, I'd so buy said figure. 

Feb 22, 2023

Thundercats wave 9 possibilities: Let's Speculate!

 Wave 8 being a toon wave males Wave 9 be one of two things: another Toon Wave or a Toy Based wave. I'm here to speculate and I will go both ways... oh myy!

Without further ado, let's begin:

Toon based wave 9:
-Wilykat is the obvious choice here since wave 8 gave us his twin sister. No much to discuss here.

-A berbil, probably Ro-Bear Bill. Wouldn't be surprised if a filler Berbil army builder wave is made afterwards. Ro-Bear Belle, Ro-Bear Bert, and Ro-Bear Bob could end up as filler figures in other waves.

-Red eye would be the next villain, he's a Lunatak, which are severely needed, and not a wallet breaker like Tug Mug or Amok.

-Ratilla: I don't know if he can reuse Ratar-O parts but dude needs to be big enough to use the sword of Plun-Darr.
But Super7 could make a smaller version of the sword if they reuse Ratar-O...

Those are the characters I think they would make for wave 9. It doesn't necessarily mean that these are the ones that I want. Now let's tackle toy variants.

-Jackalman
-Panthro
-Jaga
-Vultureman 

I honestly picked 4 pre-existing characters since I could've been a dick and chosen:
-Safari Joe
-The stinger
-Tuska Warrior
-Tygra (with old and young variation heads)

Feb 21, 2023

Thundercats wave 8: Habemus Lunaktaks

 It's just Alluro, so no big... as in no Big guys like Tug Mug or Amok. Honestly, I expected Chilla. The only "dud" on this wave is Captain Shiner and while the character might be a "dud" he is almost a Japanese figure...

He possesses an alternate set of arms crossed over. I've only seen this on Japanese figures like... Of course! I forgot that Storm Collectibles isn't Japanese... So, let me ammend my statement. This is something usually seem on Asian Collectibles and not on Western toys. Shame that it's wasted on Shiner. He has 3 heads... whoa... oh look another sword of omens variation...

Alluro is OK. He's got a few hands, extra head and toon props, which I'm a sucker for. Heck his rod might have interchangeable orbs. Sadly, Hachiman and the Thunderkittens are where I end "my collection". I'm cutting back on most of my collecting due to personal issues, and it's not viable for me to be collecting 3 lines with $55+ figures. So, Thundercats and Silverhawks have taken the biggest hit... hell, even TMNT has made me a cherry picker.

Wilykit is a bit disappointment. All she has over her Mattel version is an Alternate head. Fuck! It's a winking head! All the inappropriate potential that this head has...

Hachiman... Hachiman... Hachiman...
He needed a third angry head without helmet. Other than that he's everything I expected.
Wait... it looks like he has a left hand to hold the saya and push the tsuba for the draw.
I have the BIGGEST WEEB BONER right now! 

If I were to rank them from best to worst in an objective manner, the ranking would be:
Hachiman
Shiner
Alluro
Wilykit

Update

My good ol' He-Man dot org buddy, MegaGearMax brought something to my attention:

Super7 Wilykit is NOT reusing the Mattel sculpt...

God dammit... insert Wilykat and Kit pretending to be helpful and dropping their PENS ON THE THING WHILE I'M TALKING Thundercats bloopers reference.
So, I better rearrange the list now:
If I were to rank them from best to worst in an objective manner, the ranking would be:
Hachiman
Wilykit
Shiner
Alluro

Which means fuckdammit! I might need to buy a $55 Wilykit!

Feb 20, 2023

Haley Joel Osment was watching Law and Order...

 Now Richard Belzer, who played Detective Munch is doink doinking St. Peter.  My condolences to family and friends. I'm not a huge Law and Order fan. I used to watch it with Mom and sometimes I just fell asleep and the doink doink woke me up. My Mom did marathons with the show and its sub variations.

This isn't the first Law and Order alumnus to be seen by Osment... There was the dude that sounded like a horny candle. But the sole reason I'm  mentioning Mr. Belzer's passing involves his last words:

"Fuck you, Motherfucker."

No cause of death was revealed, although it was common knowledge that he was fighting various health issues. But seriously, what circumstances led to his last words being "Fuck you, Motherfucker"? In any case, may you rest in peace Detective Munch...

Feb 17, 2023

Pedro Pascal is holding a MOTU toy...

 And MOTU Fans want him to be Man-at-Arms...

Zoardammit! NO! PEDRO PASCAL IS NOT MAN-AT-ARMS!! Don't get me wrong, I think Pedro Pascal is a great actor, but for fuck's sake, STOP TYPECASTING HIM as the Badass surrogate father of a magical child. IF we're getting Mr. Pascal in MOTU, he should NOT be Man-at-Arms. We don't need to typecast him. Who should he play?

Fisto? Pascal lacks the beard and gingerness of Fisto. He can play a badass, but he doesn't look the part.

How about Randor? The Beard might be an issue, but he could play the badass warrior turned king. But he'd be VERY close to the whole badass dad of a magical child. The only difference is that he's He-Man's actual dad. So,no Randor...

Stratos? Again, BEARD! Pascal COULD play Stratos, but personally speaking, I don't see him as Stratos. I mean Stratos is not that "actiony" and we don't really have to waste Pascal on freaking Stratos.

Zodac? I mean he's badass in a mysterious mentor way, but not suited for Pascal...

Mekaneck? HELL NO! I won't even bother with saying that Pascal shouldn't be wasted on freaking Mekaneck.

Sy-Klone? A LatAm Samurai? Are you NUTS!? I MIGHT GET CANCELED for even thinking this as a joke.

Clamp Champ? See Sy-Klone... no need to explain any Further.

Roboto... Mocapping and CGI? No thanks. 

Man-E-Faces? I could almost see it, but I'd rather have someone else here. Preferably British sounding... at least for the Human face.

Ram Man? No. He lacks the physique for Ram Man. Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson has the physique for good ol' Rammy.

Buzz-Off? Again, no mocap characters for Pascal.

That also blocks Extendar and Snout Spout... so let's skip those...

The pool of characters is shrinking greatly...
But which character is badass enough for Pascal and can easily justify his LatAm accent?
Rio Blast!! The cowboy schtick gives reason for his LatAm accent. We have seen Pascal be a badass cowboy before. We have seen him do some gunplay and he kinda has that Rio Blast look to him.

IF Pedro Pascal was to appear in the MOTU movie, Rio Blast is the best option. Think about it, you know I'm right.

Netflix fails at diversity yet again

 Making a show about reggaeton while using the least amount of Puerto Ricans is a load of shit. Especially since Netflix prides itself on being diverse and all the other bullshit about being authentic to the stories from non-white folks being represented. This is literally the same issie Asians face when Westerners see all Asians as interchangeable. Well they're doing it to LatAm folks as well. Hell even the main actor of the show isn't a TRUE Puerto Rican. Nuyoricans are not TRUE Puerto Ricans. While they have Puerto Rican ancestry, culturally speaking, they're NOT Puerto Rican if they weren't raised on the island. If you are born in Harlem that makes you a New Yorker. Your parents MIGHT BE Puerto Rican, but you are not. Just as Puerto Ricans aren't Spaniards despite having Spanish ancestry, Nuyoricans are NOT Puerto Ricans. 

So, a show about Reggaeton (which is mostly Puerto Rican... Spanish reggae from Panama was an influence, but true Reggaeton is Boricua) has ZERO Puerto Ricans behind cameras, a Nuyorican as lead, since the other two main characters aren't related to Puerto Rico at all... it makes no sense. I'm no fan of Reggaeton, but even I can acknowledge the bullshit behind this. The only reason I'm mentioning it, is because it was brought to my attention that a Mexican is the brains behind this series the writers are mostly black and they have a Panamanian or two on the writing team. One of the actors, Jordan Mendoza is also a consultant. He happens to be of Chinese, Filipino, and Spanish ancestry... but not Puerto Rican.

Where are all the social justice slacktivists that are supposed to defend minority voices? Why aren't they criticizing this injustice? Because they don't truly care about social justice. If they did, they'd be clamoring for more Boricua talent both in front of and behind the cameras. 

But on the other hand at least they're being consistent on fucking up authenticity for the sake of tokenized faux diversity.


Another We need a Super7 Ultimates Karai Figure.


 Karai, the literally Spicy ninja, daughter of Shredder, was introduced to TMNT Lore in 1992. The vintage toyline was still going strong by then. For whatever reason she never made it as a toy. She has become a key player in TMNT lore and has appeared in other toylines, except for the Original line. The good news is that Super7 has the opportunity to "correct" said mistake with the TMNT Ultimates! Line.

In the past I have made suggestions on how Katai could be doable by mimicking the Playmates style with a Mattel-like twist since the better articulation allows for mixing and matching parts in ways that the original line could not. Not today! Today I want to go out balls to the wall on making a proper 1992 Karai...
There are 2 options for Karai. Either using the outfit with the bulky jacket or the bodysuit version. The bodysuit version is the easiest version since she's in a bodysuit and the FourHorsemen probably have a "naked buck" template that they can use.

Using the jacket version would mean taking the "naked buck template" and adding the clothing details. From an unbiased point of view, this would be the best way to approach Karai. My preference would've been the bodysuit with an optional jacket, but the jacket wouldn't look as good as if it was made as the default option.

Now can parts be reused from April? In a Worst Case Scenario, hands and feet. Personally, I'd take 100% new sculpt on her. For her accessories, extra hands are a must including hands that can hold arrows. Second head without her foot clan bandana. Now is when we look at the vintage line for accessories: Namely Movie 3 April and Princess Mitsu:
April's Ninjato, with Mitsu's Bow, Quiver and arrows are a nice start. Make a second ninjato, add a couple of kunai and shuriken to complete the accessories.

I'm jumping over one important thing: Color scheme. Her outfit is usually purple or fuchsia on Mirage related art or her first videogame appearance. Personally, she should implement the toy Foot Clan color scheme: purple, black, blue, and grey. Using the Foot Clan color scheme and the Jacket look for Karai, I'd go for:
Black pants and sleeves. The wraps on wrists and ankles would be Blue. The Jacket would be Purple with her belt, pouches, shoulderpads, and buckles in grey and silver. (Silver for metallic accents and grey for everything else.) The toyline has had a precedent for deviating from Mirage colors to more toyetic colors. 

Now how can she fit in on the toyline? She'd be in her early 20s for the sole reason of her being young enough to remember her father leaving to America to exact revenge on Hamato Yoshi "for dishonoring the Foot".  Raised by the Foot's Blind Master Hattori Tatsu. Being a Ninjitsu Prodigy, Karai rose through the ranks.  Eventually challenging Tatsu for control of the Foot Clan and beating the blind Master in combat. Once defeated Tatsu revealed the truth to Karai about her father. Angry at her father's reliance on Krang, she seeks to take down the Evil Overlord of Dimension X to restore the foot Clan's honor... or something like that. She's loyal to her father's cause, but distrusts Krang to the point that she has a shaky alliance with Hamato Yoshi's clan to take down Krang. 

She brings a shock to the power dynamics at the Technodrome. 
Karai hates Krang for "corrupting" her father.
Krang suspects that Karai is not what she seems.
Shredder is happy with using both Krang and Karai to fulfill his goals.

But the most important part is getting a figure of her. Especially since she would be a HUGE surprise as a core character that didn't have a vintage toy. I'm sure folks would rather have Karai than Shotae.

Feb 16, 2023

Wave 8 of Thundercats coming soon

 Super7 dropped a teaser and it's of an expected character. Hachiman.
This tease with Thundercutter is enough to reel me back in after the whole "Once I get Snarf I'm done!" Speech. Whether I get a second one to customize will greatly depend on the figure's cost AND the accessories he comes with.

Now who else will be coming with him? Thundercats has remained consistent in being 4 figures per wave... so let's pull out the list of candidates  and choose 3:

A Thunderkitten: 
It's the obvious and safe choice, unless they pull off Claudus or the Anointed Lion-O.

Now for the Evil slots... emphasis on the o, because it could be confused with evil sluts and Thundercats has a distinct lack of those.

A Berserker:
Since we ran out of main mutants, and Hammerhand is all alone, it would make sense to have one here.

Safari Joe:
It should be time for a Lunatak to be released, BUT, in pure Super7 fashion I'm going to skip the Lunatak for the sake of adding a one off villain. 

If Super7 were to make a Lunatak, easiest choice would be Chilla.

I suppose we'll find out the answer to this question really soon.



Feb 14, 2023

Revisiting the 30th Anniversary characters for New Eternia

 I did a small case for them but was rather sloppy and lazy. Let's fix that.

Fearless Photog:
He'd require new head, torso, crotch, and right forearm. His shoulders, hands and biceps would be from Tri-Klops. His left forearm bracer would be from Trap Jaw. The new right bracer should mimic TJ's left. The feet would be from Movie Skeletor
For accessories a second set of hands, the camera gun and a small blast effect that can be plugged on his face to simulate FP "capturing the enemy".

For his New Eternia story, he could be a treasure hunter who found a cache of ancient technology and got infected with a Technovirus that was turning him into a machine. With the help of a Thenurian Technomancer, the virus was halted before completely consuming the man. After discovering he can transport matter to and from a pocket dimension, the Fearless Photog travels the wasteland banishing the wicked into his Reel Dimension.

Draego Man:
He'd be pretty much everything new. I'd prefer to wait until Masterverse Whiplash happens, so I can see if I can borrow parts. From the get go he's a deluxe figure. I'll use the Skelegod body as a base. New torso, arms and legs, obviously. 
I'd reuse the boots and feet, the bracers with new dragon hands. The torso would be new to accommodate the new wings and dragon tail. A new loincloth might be needed.

For accessories, the wings, extra hands, shield and sword.

Storywise:
 The Ancient being known as Talmadge the Draego-Man was a Human/Dragon hybrid abomination shunned by both Human and Dragon alike. Leading a rebellion against the Dragons, Talmadge was weakened by a Human Paladin who bound a piece of Talmadge's soul to the crimson gem on his armor, weakening the Draego-Man sufficiently to be cursed by the Dragon Lord. Turned to Stone, Talmadge spent eons in darkness until someone with enough strength was able to wear the Cursed Armor of Talmadge without burning to ashes. Talmadge the Draego-Man walks Eternia once again looking for the one who's stopping him from becoming whole once more.

The idea is to make Draego-Man evil, but not Mwahaha evil. My aim is a Mwahaha evol with a tragic backstory. I also link SLL to him because it makes sense knight vs dragon.

Sir Laser Lot:
I mentioned him before, but here we go.
New torso based on He-Ro with the Gem of Talmadge. Using the Battle Armor He-Man Left Pauldron, bracer (that can plug in the new SLL Shield) a new right bracer that mimics the left one, the BAHM tasset and GP He-Man boots with MEF crotch would give us a "New SLL" that can be turned into a close to classic version.

For story:
The first Sir-Laser-Lot was a Paladin, friend of the Dragon Lord who came to his friend's aid when Talmadge the Draego-Man tried to overthrow the Dragon Lord. Using ancient sorcery, this Paladin bound a piece of Talmadge's soul into the Crimson Heart gem on his armor. This binding gave the Paladin new powers, but began burning him from the inside out. With his passing, the armor was hidden away to avoid anyone wearing it, lest they end up turning to ash or awakening Talmadge. Eons later a young man known as Geoff, found the armor and wore it to defend his village from pillagers. Due to his strength of will and noble sacrifice, he was able to fully bond woth the armor and becoming the new Sir Laser Lot. Unfortunately, this awakened the Draego-Man from his slumber.

The idea is to link SLL to Draego-Man and to have SLL be a legacy character where anyone (who survives the curse) can be the hero. There is a nod to his creator being the current SLL.

Spector:
I've already mentioned him as well and suggested a fabric cloak to enhance the design. Most of his body already exists only head, webgear, and left bracer would be needed.
Thinking MEF crotch, Tri-Klops shoulders and biceps, MAA hands, normal legs with TJ Boots.
The left bracer could be based on TJ's but with a plug for the mini key.
For accessories:
Cloak
Extra hands
Mini key
Mini key blade
Gun
Unmasked head (not the Neitlich head)

Story: Ytfenra'antz, current lord of the house of Ra'antz was obsessed with tales of purple specters that haunted his family for ages. He faced the specter and bested him in combat, which caused Zodac to appear before Ytfenra'antz. Turned into a Spector by Zodac, Ytfenra'antz assists the Omnipotent Zodac in keeping Eternia in balance throughout the timelines.

While the name is a nod to your truly the idea of making the time agents be Zodac's deputies is a nice way to keep Spector viable. And no, the Spector that died is not Neitlich. It's a different one. The Neitlich Spector died in the MOTUC timeline. Suggesting me as the new Spector is like the ultimate screw you to Neitlich. Mattel, I'm willing to lend my likeness for the New Eternia Spector for the low price of a free NE Spector...

Cy-Chop:
Blegh! Revelation Beastman legs Roboto torso and crotch with new innards. New head, arms with furry and techno bits. 4 new hands, 2 being the ridiculously big scissors and the other 2 being smaller scissors. Fabric poncho and Horde belt.

For story:
A reanimated corpse by the  Mad Terror Higuchi, Cy-Chop is an undead killing machine. With scissors for hands, Cy-Chop terrorizes the wasteland to do his Master's bidding until he can find a way to free himself by cutting all ties to his Master. 

The idea of an undead Cy-Chop is to not have him needing to eat or drink. The different sized scissors is to reduce the display space required for him. There is a nod to his creator as well.

Castle Grayskull Man:
Another Skelegod sized deluxe creature with mostly new parts. I want to use NE Beastman's loincloth and have the Grayskull flag printed on his crotch. For accessories, his dual swords and shield. Extra hands and an extra head with translucent hair for light piping to make his eyes and mouth glow. 

Story: Castle Grayskull is full of secrets. One of those is the hidden army within the castle. With bodies made out of the same stones as the castle and brought to life using the Dwell of Souls, the Castle uses the souls of fallen invaders and defenders to defend the Castle from other attackers. Whether you are Man, beast, or monster, if you fall within the walls of Grayskull, you become a part of Grayskull. Castle Grayskullman is one of many who have become one with Grayskull and protect its secrets from all attackers.

While these aren't a top priority, they have potential... in 2032 at MOTU's 50th anniversary... and I felt that on my lower back.

A Hypothetical tribute to the Warriors of the Forgotten Sewer: a rant

 A while back, I mentioned an idea for a tribute to Warriors of the Forgotten Sewer WITHOUT Making straight up Warriors of the Forgotten Sewer, because of the whole Playmates cockblocking Super7 rumor.

I mentioned a Berserker Raphael who was basically a homage to Kratos from God of War.
I mentioned that Leo would be a Paladin, Don would be a Wizard, and Mikey the Bard...
So, I'm going to elaborate on those and some supporting characters.

I'll start with Leonardo the Paladin:
 He should be HEAVILY inspired by NU52 He-Man  and Netflix CG He-Man... Yes, the readoning behind Leonardo being heavily inspired by He-Man is a reference to 200X Prince Adam sounding a lot like Leonardo. Enough Liquid References, let's be serious for a moment.
The reason I chose those 2 versions of He-Man is because their armor is more Paladin like than the Traditional Barbarian He-Man. For accessories I'm going 200X for inspiration: Skeletor's Dual Blades. Paladin Leo should get 2 katanas that can fuse into a sort of broadsword... Axe and shield are the obvious additional accessories.
For heads, one maskless head with long blond locks (Liquid Snake wig to be precise to keep it within Cam Clarke references), second head is a masked head with a Prince Valiant Hairdo. 

Mage Don:
Final Fantasy Black Mage is the main inspiration here. I'm thinking basic purple soft goods robe that can be opened. From the waist down Don would be wearing pants and just under the knee fantasy boots. On his bare torso, he'd have 2 bandoliers echoing his TMNT straps, but these have potions and other alchemic elements. His bare arms would have runes painted/tattooed on. For heads, he'd have one with a purple bandana covering his mouth all the way up to his eyes. (With eyeholes to mimic his tmnt mask) the second head would be bare (no mask, no bandana.) Hat should be removable and usable on both heads. He should have a staff (readons: being a mage and Donatello) 

Mike the Masked Bard: 
One part Medieval Fop, one part Tracksuit Elvis and 1 part Liberace. The idea is to make Mike look Fabulously Medieval. For accessories, he'd have a Lute, 2 flails (as Nunchaku substitute) removable fop hat, 2 heads: one winking and one singing/puckering up for a kiss head. Lute playing hands are obviously needed.

Archmage Splinter: 
DnD Archmage being one of the inspirations, the other source, the 2007 Mako Splinter. His outfit would be highly ceremonial and with elements from the Mako Splinter made out of both soft goods and plastic.
For accessories a large staff that looks like a larger version of Splinter's walking stick.  The accouterments for Splinter being able to prepare Jasmine tea. 

April the Valkyrie:
Basically a Rendition of a classic Valkyrie in April Colors yellow tunic with silver armor with white leather accents. For accessories, a spear, a flaming sword, shield. 2 heads: one with a winged helm. The other without helm.

Casey the squire: 
Basically, a Medieval version of Casey Jones:
The outfit would be heavily inspired by the movie version, add a fantasy styled pauldron, gauntlets, and shoes. For the mask, it's obvious that an iron mask with elements reminiscent of the familiar Casey Jones Hockey mask.
For accessories, he has 2 blackjacks, a club, a hoe, and a bag of holding reminiscent of Casey's golf bag. A second unmasked head and we're done.

Dungeon Master Shredder:
Basically Shredder as an evil knight. 

Mimic Krang:
Basically Krang in a Bubble walker that looks like a Treasure chest.

Foot Bandit:
With a few tweaks, mainly head and forearms, the existing Foot Soldier could be turned into a generic masked bandit. Like swapping the head for a burlap sack mask no turtleshell forearm cover on them,  add random villager tools as weapons (pitchfork, hoe, torches, sickles)

Brigand Bebop:
Eh, you could combine elements from Bebop's outfit and Shrek's. Instead of glasses, Bebop would have a bandana covering his eyes.

Pirate Rocksteady:
Indirect nod to Turtles in time, but I was looking for a class more likely to have a Giant humanoid Rhinoceros that can use a cannon like a blunderbuss. The saber would substitute Rocksteady's knife.

Anthrax:
He already looks like an Executioner. He fits in seamlessly.

Golem Traag:
He wouldn't be that different from normal Traag, just some runes painted on his body and wearing a more medieval outfit.

There you have it 14 figures that could fit on a Tabletop Fantasy take for TMNT.

It came from the Toy Chest: L'Arcivescovo Trappola Mascella


 R
emember Il Papa Tríclope, well here's his subordinate, L,Arcivescovo Trappola Mascella... Archbishop Trap Jaw.

This is the Masters of the Universe Revelation take on Trap Jaw, who as a "deluxe figure" comes with both his Traditional Trap Jaw stuff and the Church of the Motherboard attire.
He-Man VO: Halt!
Tri-Klops:  We have a right for religious assembly.
He-Man VO: You can go, three-eyes. I want to talk to the boy.
Trap Jaw: Did he just call me boy?
That's racist! Start recording, because I'm being racially profiled and unjustly detained.
Tri-Klops: I do not know this man nor I have any association with him.
Trap Jaw: freaking Judas...


While I'm curious on what a theoretical "New Eternia" Trap Jaw would look like, I'm somewhat thankful that Revelation has a normal looking Trap Jaw.


Articulation
Standard Revelation Articulation except the right arm, which has less articulation due to the action feature... Beware, his peg for arm attachment swapping is kinda thin and long. I fear potential breakage.
4.5
Trap Jaw: It SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!!
He-Man: You're not a Well-Regulated Militia. You're a Terrorist!!
Trap Jaw: Just because I'm not a Zoarian, doesn't mean I'm a Terrorist!


Paint and sculpt
It is accurate to the cartoon so there are no complaints there. There is some strange issue in the paint job on my figure mainly the Torso armor but other than that he's pretty good. Personally I don't like all this stylistic choices they took on the character mainly on the face but it's accurate.
4.5
Trap Jaw: I have rights!!
He-Man: Like the right to remain silent!
Trap Jaw: Help! Police Brutality! Blue Lives Matter!!
He-Man: Do Not Resist!
Nefty Note: Racist He-Man is a running gag mocking the weird deconstructions of the brand by the so-called "woke" folks or trolls who work from a conclusion like "everything is sexist, everything is racist, everything is homophobic and you have to point it all out" all the way to a hypothesis. It's a bad and immature joke and beaten like a dead Stridor for the sake of faux edginess. Here's the original MOTU is Racist rant that specifically starts from the conclusion MOTU is racist and cherry picks points to justify said conclusion as a parody of current year criticism of vintage media by trying to find problematic stuff when the media in question was progressive for its time.

Accessories
Hook
Gun
Claw
Green Belt
Archbishop robe
Archbishop overlay
Extra hand


Sure he has "plenty of extras" but most of them feel kind of "hollow". Like his green belt not being able to fit properly over the generic belt on his loincloth is a huge mistake in my opinion. They called robes are just useless for a traditionalist collector, because they're going to end up in a drawer. Although the robes could be used for a Theoretical Time traveler He-Man (aka Preternia disguise), there isn't much to talk about. Feels like it was made overpriced for the sake of being overpriced.
3.0

Overall
Trap Jaw gets a 4.0 as his final score. He's not bad but he could've been so much better. My biggest issues are the ill fitting belt and the incredibly skinny peg for the interchangeable attachments. I can almost see a New Eternia Spector reusing Trap Jaw's Boots, maybe a new bracer inspired by Trap Jaw's with Tri-Klops arms and hands, and Man-E-Faces crotch being used as the main body. 

Feb 13, 2023

Super Mario Bros. ad and website are a thing.

 The latest promo for the Super Mario Bros. movoe by Illumination was dropped and it's amazing. Basically, an ad for the Mario Brothers plumbing service that cuts deep.

It's a tribute to the Super Mario Bros. SUPER Show. That's not all but there's also a website promoting the SMB Plumbing service for folks in the Brooklyn area. They're hitting a lot of fan service (not that kind of fan service, although the movie has Peach in her racing suit and she has cake.) with Nostalgic references.

I am getting a bit interested in this movie with every passong reveal. Still not sold on Crisp Rat being Mario, but now I want to hear him sing Do the Mario.

Theoretical things I'd like to see on Injustice 3:

 While I'm not a HUGE fan of the Injustice games (mainly the Evil Superman angle) I would be interested in a third game. So, in the spirit of ranting about it, here's a list of things I'd like to see on Injustice 3:

If they're keeping the Gear system, have pieces that resemble iconic outfits. Personally I'd rather have outfits. While we're at it let us make proper custom palettes. 

Team up battles: I don't mean the crazy tag battles that Capcom has. I mean 2 on 2, or 1 vs 2 matches. Something like Batman and Robin fighting Joker and Harley or Flash vs Grodd and Captain Cold.

Roger Craig Smith as the replacement to the late Kevin Conroy as Batman. 

New stages, new fighters are rather obvious... but here's a new twist: New Super Moves. I should be more specific: Alternate Super Moves. The only caveat is that you choose which move you want before each battle, because it brings a bit more variety than choosing the move at the select screen.

Special guest characterS.
I expect 3 Kombatants my picks would be:
Jax, Shang Tsung (whose super move could have him shapeshift into ALL the characters from the Original Mortal Kombat and preferably voiced by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), and last but not least: Johnny Cage. Why Cage? Funny intros and his fists are hungry for some multiversal balls.

But there are a couple of more important guests:

He-Man and Skeletor, who are valid choices since MOTU has had a few crossovers with DC and there's a MOTU crossover in the Injustice continuity... sadly, this would be relying on Mattel not being their usual dumbasses and stop this crossover from happening. Other characters could be brought in as special skins for some characters like Hordak being a Darkseid skin (Parademons would be Horde Troopers)
Mossman being a Swamp Thing Skin. Man-at-Arms a Batman skin (with the batplane being replaced with a wind raider) Teela a WW Reskin just to name a few.

If the TMNT return, there's a couple of additional characters that I'd like to see aside the Turtles themselves:
Shredder and Casey Jones.

It's not a big list, but there isn't that much I'd like to see.

Feb 12, 2023

Dhar Mann's actors are on Strike

 I can't believe that Mr. "WE'RE NOT TELLING STORIES, WERE CHANGING LIVES" is in deep trouble for nor paying his actors. Boss doesn't properly pay his employees and he lives to regret it... but this is Dharminder Mann, the guy who tried to build a weed empire via fraud. The dude bought Khloe Kardashian's mansion for $15.5 Million, but can't pay his actors? 

For a guy that is supposed to show folks how to be better people, he sure is doing a shitty job about it. 

Of course, Dhar Mann is now trying to debunk the claims through Instagram. Let us remember that he was charged with fraud once already.

The Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster Rumor is gauning some validity...

 Assuming that the recent slip of the tongue from Theatrhythm's  producer is true. Apparently, FFT stuff hasn't hit the Theatrhythm games because the FFT Team is "incredibly busy right now". There was a leak a while back that teased some FFIX Development and a possible FFT Remaster. Tactics Ogre: Reborn was released last year, so if the team is incredibly busy at the moment, IT COULD BE the rumored remaster.

These rumors must be taken with a grain of salt, because sometimes they aren't true. I mean, how many times have we heard rumors about Metal Gear Solid getting a remake for current ERA consoles? If the rumors are true, I would gladly welcome this remaster and Hope that we get some additional stuff like say:
More character slots.
More Unique characters (hence the additional slots)
More side quests
New classes (some Unique, other generic) 
More side battles... like say a Gilgamesh boss battle, which could unlock some new equipment.
Some Cloud Specific Equipment to make him Actually Playable. Like say: 
-MP Helmet being a "Helmet" made by Shinra that allows the user to break their limits (reduces the charge time of Limit Skill by 1/2) same stats and effects as Thief's hat
The idea is pairing it with Short Charge skill would make him more competent.
-First Class Fatigues being armor that is strong yet lightweight. Same stats and effects as the black garb with the additional effect of Speed +2
-Buster Sword, being a sword with 18 power and the added effects of always Wall and unlocking Limit Skill. Think of it as a Better Materia Blade.

We need to Make Cloud Great Again.

Feb 11, 2023

It came from the Toy Chest: He'll put a shock to your system...


 Which my immature teenage mind at the time purposely misheard it as Static putting something to your sister. It rhymes with shock, dock, and mock, but again, I was a teen! OK, even in my 40s, I still giggle at that joke.

So, Static: Created by Dwayne McDuffie at Milestone Comics, a DC subsidiary whise main focus was making comic books starring minorities. Static is one of the most popular characters by Milestone. He was "Miles Morales" before Miles Morales was even thought of. By that I mean that he's a young teen who gains his powers by a freak accident. Now he struggles to find balance in hiw life between being a teenager and a Superhero. Basically, he's Milestone's Spider-Man ersatz. Personally, I like this approach. While there are similarities between Spider-Man and Static, we don't have a Spider-Man clone in Static. Unlike Miles Morales, who is a Black Spider-Man, Static is a Black character LIKE Spider-Man. By his hero name you can guess he has static electricity powers. 

Articulation 
His articulation is similar to most McFarlane figures. He has a decent range and most Static poses (pun not intended) can be pulled off.
4.5
Static: Holy I ain't doin' this Batman! Im not going to be a Robin Replacement...
Batman: Now Listen to me you little Beoulve shit! Delita did nothing wrong after they killed Teta...
Static: It's Tietra.
Batman: Only on the PSP remake. I played it on the o.r.i.g.i.n.a.l. Playstation, where Ramza didn't sound like a whiny Bang Baby with static cling and Delita's sister was named after a Spanish titty. Now shut up because MAD tV reruns are on!
Static: Ooh! MAD TV! I love Phil LaMarr!


Paint and sculpt
I get he's  based on the new 52 look but he looks bad. I only got him because it's Static and I had promised myself to get a Static figure if one was made. Because the sculpt isn't that great. His hair looks awful. Static's dreads generally look a bit more wild. Here they're "too realistic" looking.
4.0
Static: I'll put a shock in your system...
Nefty VO: Ha! Joke's on you! I have no sister!!
Static: What does having a sister have to do with...
Grow up, will you!?


Accessories 
2 static blasts
His nu52 hovering disc I mean hexagonal plates
Stand

Not bad, but a set of open hands would've been better.
4.5

Overall
Static gets a 4.33 to shock his system. Personally, I would've preferred either a pre-flashpoint Static or the Kids WB! STATIC.