Mar 23, 2023

Dick van Dyke suffers minor driving accident

 Holy asscrackers! Why is a 97 year old man still driving around!? If you're going to call me ageist for saying that a 97 year old man shouldn't be driving, you better be ready to cancel Dick van Dyke because his name is offensive...
Or shall we use the more politically correct Penis Van Lesbian? Now that I got the Dick van Dyke name jokes, let's follow with the rant.

So, DvD... wait, can't even abbreviate his name...van Dyke crashed into a gate due to heavy rains and possible hydroplanmning. He suffered minor injuries. You know, that's part of the reason I avoid driving in highways, especially in rainy weather. Had a hydroplaning incident with less than optimal tires. Didn't crash, but I was lucky. Had I stopped a few seconds later, I might not have lived to tell this story or keep posting. I was 39 at the time and I barely made it unscathed out of a hydroplaning accident. But van Dyke is a lot more luckier than I was, even if he got more hurt than I did...
At his age, my reflexes, would be completely messed up... it's at almost 41 and my reflexes suck ass... ask the countless dodgeballs with my face imprimted on them. Reflexes peak at the tender age of 24... Van Dyke is 73 years past his reflexes' prime... food for thought...

To end on a weird note: Dick Van Dyke statred in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang a movie written by the author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory based on a book by the Author behind the James Bond series.

Mar 22, 2023

Shazam Fury of the Rants: a godly review.

 I just came back from watching Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods. If I could summarize this as succinctly as possible I would say this:

Ignore the Snydertards and go watch it! It is a really entertaining movie. Personally, I found it more enjoyable than Black Adam. Which means, that I found it more enjoyable than pretty much the entirety of the DCEU... especially the Snyder turd movies... Hell, I'm going to watch it again this Sunday! For me it was an emotional roller coaster.

So now for the Spoilers... after the Jump!

Mar 21, 2023

Thinking of TMNT Redecos

 The Playmates Style blockade has put a huge stop to Vintage Toyline items for TMNT Ultimates... waves now have a redeco figure, which is rereleasing an older character with a different deco and maybe a new item.

For example: The 4 Turtles are the easiest.
We can call them Mirage inspired redecos:
New belt buckle being their new element.
Personally, I'd have all turtles sharing the same green skin to be truly Mirage, but I'm opting for the preexisting toy colors for compatibility.
The main difference would be on the head with the vintage toy head being with the Mirage Red headband. The colored headband would be an alternate head:
Leonardo: Tongueless slam dunk Donatello head.
Michelangelo: Tongue head from Sewer Surfer Mike.
Donatello: normal sewer surfing mike head.
Raphael: Classic Rocker Leo closed eyes head.

Rocksteady and Bebop getting Toon inspired repaints would be the easiest option. Adding a new Helmetless head for Rocksteady and maybe a new expression for Bebop would spice things up.

For Foot Soldier slight redeco with "new" weapons (or reusing the weapons from the turtles or Shredder) maybe a new alternate head of Foot Ninja with bandana... or
Soft goods shirt and glasses to have the Vacationing Foot Soldier. Shirt should be able to open from the front like a true Hawaiian shirt. Maybe it should have Velcro in the sleeves to make it easier to put on or remove.

Who else could get a redeco?
April with arms and lower legs could become Mirage April... swapping her accessories with Mousers and the Mouser controller, because tooling costs.

Utrom Council:
"It's a redeco and new characters at the same time". The 2 Krangs we have in a slightly paler color, with no bubble walker. Instead we get multiple tripods. 
The "normal expression" Krang repaint with blue eyes would be Mortu, the more "excited" Krang repaint with white eyes would be Perry.
The "new" characters would be the other 2 newly sculpted Utroms: Ch'Rell, and Ma'Riell, both sharing a slightly more reddish color and tendrils. With Ma'Riell having a "mohawk"? Of small tentacles flowing from the top of her head to her back. Ch'Rell would have the 3 "horns" resembling Shredder's helmet.
So we have: 4 "heads", 4 Tripods.
Each Utrom gets 2 tentacles and 2 extra tentacles.
Meaning that there would be 8 extra tentacles:
4 to use on Mortu and Perry and 4 to use on Ch'Rell and Ma'Riell.
4 of those tentacles would be the preexisting Krang tentacles. The other 4 would be new poses for the tentacles. (The 4 new poses should be made to preemptively fit in an Android Body.) An additional 4 tentacles in Krang Colors.
It's a bit of a glorified accessory pack, but much better than just a repainted Krang.

The idea of Mortu and Perry being flat out kinda toon repaints for Krang is to act as toon repaints for Krang. The exciting bonus is the other two, who theoretically, their sculpts should start from the Digital sculpt for Krang and modded to become the new characters.

Mortu and Ch'Rell are references to 2003 toon, Ma'Riell is a referece to IDW and Perry is a refference to Professor Perry from Secret of the Ooze.

Scratch would be modern prison outfit variant in Mutagen Man outfit Orange. The cake should be a chocolate cake with pink frosting. The coins from the bag should be silver.

Ace Duck could be a white duck with black jacket and grey pants... it's kind of a nod to Nickelodeon's 2012 Ace Duck cameo...

Triceraton is an obvious choice for a repaint... perhaps he should get an extra head with all 3 horns intact for Army building potential.

Genghis Frog being repainted and adding a few extra accessories could make for an Attila or Rasputin.

Guerilla Gorilla with olive drab pants and desert camo vest. With a lighter colored fur coat. The new accessory would be a third head with a banana yellow bandana... 

Wingnut and Screwloose: Do I even NEED to explain this repaint? Make the blues black on Wingnut. Paint his metal wings in glossy black.
Paint Screwloose's outfit completely black except the trim lines of his tank top that should be blue... for no reason Whatsoever...

Holy crap, I managed to pull out about 15-ish redecos and possibly make new characters out of the redecos.

Victoria Alonso leaves Marvel, yay!

 Victoria Alonso, the "creative jenius" that thinks that X-Men should drop the "-Men" part because soggy knees, has left Marvel. Of course, the SocJus Slacktivists are crying that their token Lesbian Latina has left. She was pushing for diversity above storytelling in the MCU... I've mentioned before, that I have no issues with diversity, as long as it is Subservient to Storytelling. Ms Alonso was, sadly pushing optics over storytelling. There's no point in adding LGBT+ POC characters if the storytelling is weak. Paired with the X-Men remarks, well, I can't say that her departure is a bad thing...


Allegedly, the reasons for her leaving, take these with a pinch of salt, are:

-Phase 4 and Quantum mania underperforming.
-Her toxic behavior with the VFX folks, where she was the big boss...

The first point, makes sense, recent movies and some of the shows haven't been super successful and Ant Man saw a decrease in viewers similar to the Distinguished Competition's movie about Marthas.

The second one is based on some tweets from Chris Lee of Vulture...

Assuming those tweets contain the truth, yikes... no wonder she quit or was presuaded to quit. In any case she's gone and hopefully her replacement will be more interested in telling Cool Stories that Respect the Characters and Universe, over promoting ANY kind of agenda...

And in the words of the late Stanley Lieber: 'Nuff said!

Mar 20, 2023

More MOTU stuff revealed... Neitlich's lies about the death of MOTU are just that...

 The downside of working nights is that a lot of news are revealed during the day, right when I'm sleeping... or preorders like the 1989 Batmobile by McFarlane, which I missed out on because I HAD TO SLEEP. So, these other pics fell through the cracks and I posted the little I found at first...

So, here's a better look at Buzz-Off:
Imagine if the 4H sculpted him...
He looks pretty good for Buzz-off... nothing beats the 200X look, but this looks pretty cool...

Next we have Clamp Champ

I'm  guessing he's from Revelation, since the offerings are kinda bare...

This Merman looks a bit Better. It's still Revelation, but at leas he's not winking at me.

Ram Man is OK... arms Don't look too good and feel a bit off, but he has 3 heads. I can't see his leg articulation and that worries me...

Mediocre Ruben Martinez strikes back...
Rubbery plastic leggins for Ram Man... these will either limit the articulation or rot by 2026.
Fuckdammit! But he looks like he's a New Eternia figure.

New Eternia Webstor looks decent, but not liking the Grappling hook being part of his gun.


The New Adventures stuff looks rather good. The only issue is that New Adventures He-Man was exclusive to Target and there are no Targets in Puerto Rico so I'm shit out of luck. 
If I can't get a new adventures He-Man then there's no point of getting new adventures Skeletor. With that said Slushhead's really awesome with the new tentacles and walker.




Oh Grizzlor, what did that Mediocre Ruben Martinez did to you!?

Let's see what else they have in store for us...
Whiplash... oh Zoardammit, this one is going to suck ass... I know it!!

Well, well, well, he doesn't suck!! He looks big and chunkay!! He no longer looks like Abe Vigoda, but it's giving me Michael Myers vibes... not the Halloween one, the other one...
The torch is rather cool... not feeling the pink armor. If it was blue, maybe...

Speaking of disappointing figures... Horde Skeletor, which is a slightly recolored Normal Skeletor, but with a skirt.

At least Blue Faker doesn't suck...

Loving the Vintage shaped techno-sword...

Supposedly, these will begin to be available for preorder tomorrow... and the Origins figures that I didn't mention as well... I might check Snake Mountain out if it's not priced too horribly.



So much for MOTU being dead by 2023, eh Scott?

 Mattel made a couple of Reveals for Masterverse and Origins... but I'll talk Masterverse because it's closer to what I care about in MOTU...

This New Eternia Buzz-Off looks cool and the Helmet isn't that dorky looking, so it's a win!

I dig him... and for me saying that for Buzz-off is rather big.

Dammit. Looks like I'll have to buy a winking Merman from Revelation because Clawdul comes with his armor to make a "Classic" Merman... Why, Mattel? Other than that. He's looking badass! Correction, the armor is for Clawful.

Revelation Adam... it's Prince Adam and not a He-Man woth more clothes Adam, so I'm most likely getting him 

These are coming in the Fall... or if we believe a certain disgruntled ex employee. These will not happen because "in 2023 Mattel will no longer own MOTU" or so Sphincter Uncreative claimed. But then again Toyguru lying for attention is not a new thing. 

Saint Seiya second Trailer: Japanese release date announced.

 And I ran, I ran so far away... I just ran, I ran all night and day... I couldn't get away...

From the DragonBall Evolution levels of stench that is emanating from Saint Seiya: The Beginning's second Trailer.


Let me remind everyone that Mackenyu who is 26, is supposed to be playing a 13-year old boy... also, he's the son of legendary Japanese Actor Shinichi Chiba, who passed away from COVID Complications. Ehh, at least it's a smidge better than Canadian Goku trying to bang a chick from The Real World.

Even the trailer's thumbnail shows the first thing that's horribly wrong with this movie... whise Japanese release date is the 28th of the 4th month... Supposedly, the West gets it in May 12th. I just want to projectile vomit all over the 12 houses... oh yeah, Saori Sienna looks like she's in her 30s and has no purple hair.

At least I'm 99% sure that Sean Bean dies in this... Not because of the SeanBean n dies in Everything meme, but he's playing Mitsumasa Kido... sorry Alman Kido. All jokes aside, this movie is going to suck major ass.

Why can I predict some of this stuff and not the Powerball numbers?

 I made this rant waaay back and I kinda predicted some things for the wrekkin vehicles:

I swear, I didn't knew about the Forklift at the time that rant was made. Much less the Stone Cold Monster Truck that I'm totally NOT GETTING TO MAKE A TURTLE TENDERIZER THAT WON'T FIT ROCKSTEADY AND BEBOP...

Now I will keep pushing for Mattel to make a Lowrider because:
I'm totally NOT GETTING ONE TO MAKE A FOPT CRUISER AND NOT CONSIDERING GETTING A SECOND ONE TO MAKE INTO GWILDOR'S PIMPMOBILE... I am NOT thinking about any of those. 

All references to Something else aside, a Lowrider would be a cool vehicle to have. Orton has used one, the Guerreros have used a few. Let's face it, most of the wrekkin' vehicle buyers are not specifically WWE collectors. That is another reason why I keep suggesting that Mattel should make a separate line of vehicles that can be broken apart like the wrekkin' series but without tying them to WWE specific stuff. 
If only Mattel had a line of an Action Hero characters that they could use... Maybe... Alas, Mattel doesn't have any line like that...

I was thinking something closer to Big Jim, but a Big Jim/Max Steel Line like MOTUC, but using the slimmer Masterverse bodies could work...
Using the Mattycollector approach to this BJ/MS line would be the perfect way to inject 1:10 compatible vehicles that may or may not have the Wrekkin' vehicles gimmick.

Mar 19, 2023

Jason David Frank's Legend of the White Dragon is getting a Theatrical release.

 The release is most likely going to be in the Fall, around JDF's birthday. But that's not all, the people behind the project, have been working hard to get this released, since JDF's untimely death. 

So, from my understanding, this is a grittier, edgier, mature take on the Sentai Genre. To be honest I wasn't THAT interested in the project. I mean, "edgy Power Rangers" with Jason David Frank playing edgy "not Tommy". This is the hardest typecasting I've seen since Chris Tucker was getting cast as the obnoxiously loud African American sidekick... but I just found out about the cast... Diggle is in this... Jimmy from the shitty Double Dragon movie with Alyssa Milano is in this too! (Alyssa Milano is not in this. I only mentioned her so you could figure out What shitty movie I'm talking about. I should've just said the Crow City of Angels, or Only the Strong, but nooo! I wanted to make a Double Dragon Reference) Wait a damn minute, Time Force Red Ranger is in this too!? Fuck me, they have the dad from Free Willy... Now I definitely have to see this!! I know it sounds like I'm completely mocking this, I'm not. There's a little amount of mockery, but it's mainly towards JDF's inability to move on from Power Rangers. 

I'm sad he died, but that doesn't change the fact that his defining role has been Power Rangers. You say the name Jason David Frank and the first thing that pops into your mind is either Green or White Ranger... not Sweet Valley High, not him getting his ass kicked by Urkel, not him challenging Jean Claude Van Damme to a street fight, not challenging CM Punk to a MMA battle, it's always Fucking Power Rangers. Or if you want to be a fucking hipster, the Cybertron pilot that eventually became VR Troopers.

Pick your poison:

I really hope that the movie doesn't suck.

Mar 18, 2023

Pizzaface: where does he stand?

 I keep coming back to Pizzaface, since he's the one Toy Oddity that I truly wanted to see in Ultimates. With the Playmates designs embargo, I have to wonder where does he stand:

TMNT Entity has a good chunk of info on Pizzaface that I've referenced a few times. In the blog post we can seea concept art of him going by an earlier name: Pizza the Hut... a reference to Jabba the Hutt and Pizza Hut. The art is made by Errol McCarthy, a name that should sound familiar to fans of a vintage toyline from another company...
The Pizza the Hut figure concept looks very different and quite similar to the actual toy.
Instead of having the Italian Mustache, it looks like he has a massove 5 o'clock shadow. He's not missing a finger on his left hand, and various details are different from the actual toy.

Then we have the Newspaper strip appearance of Pizzaface that was allegedly drawn by Jim Lawson, creator of Rat King at Mirage, who has worked with Eastman and Laird on TMNT.
While somewhat similar to the toy, there are a couple of differences on the drawing:
Full set of teeth on Lawson's PF, while the toy is missing a few. Lawson's PF has some thick eyebrows that the toy lacks. There are no tattoos or creepy crawlies on Lawson's Pizzaface. The pants on Lawson's are long enough to cover most of his leg, while the toy has shorts that are slightly longer than Daisy Duke's...

Now you can guess where I'm going with this:
What if, a big and huge What If? Super7 could take Pizza the Hut's concept art, combine it with elements from Lawson's Pizzaface and make a whole "brand new Pizzaface" that is not purely Playmates... Like say, having the Lawson styled head as an alternate head, while the main head is Pizza the Hut's. Maybe even adding the mini head from the prototype as an accessory that could be swapped for the chef's hat...

For hands, the usual c-grip, fists, relaxed hands. Perhaps an additional pizza tossing hand like a Frisbee could be added. 
For accessories, alternate peg legs (pizza cutter, cleaver, rolling pin, even a partially chewed long and thick chorizo chain), couple of flinging pizzas, a chef's knife that can be sheathed on his apron like a sword (see Pizza the Hut as reference) the idea remains that his cleaver, rolling pin, pizza cutter and chorizo can be used as a weapon or a leg. The chorizo chain should look like Pizzaface is twirling a chorizo lasso, but at the same time it should be usable as a leg.
But Super7 could also give him an extra "normal leg" to make a "pre-mutation" Pizzaface. Using Lawson's look as pre-mutation and Pizza the Hut as the Mutated form.

What I left behind from the vintage toy is the Pizza box foot, the pizza box shield, the creepy crawlies, and the missing pinkie on his left hand.  

Assuming that he is doable, this is one potential direction they could take on the figure. Another radical change would be making the 2012 toon version of Pizzaface... Personally, I'm not too excited about that version. I guess this issue would also arise with characters like Hotspot or Monty Moose that didn't get any appearances in other media. 

We shall see where we stand once Super7 announces Wave 11... The non-Karai figures shall show us the direction the line will take.
Karai better be a part of it, because I want, nay I NEED HER! But wave 11 might be a bit further away... since we have 4 TMNT waves up in the air. (7,8,9,10) We probably won't see wave 11 until two of those waves begin appearing on people's hands. Hopefully, we can get a pleasant surprise with the unpleasant looking pizza chef.

Dammit Mattel, why do you tempt me like this?

 It's another WWE Wrekkin Vehicle... First the Slammobile, then the Slamcycle, then the Slambulance, followed by the Rampage Rig, the Forklift...*shenmue music intensifies* I'm only missing vehicle variants and the ATV... well, now you have to throw this at me!? How Dare You!? 

A Monster Truck!? A freakin' Wrekkin Monster Truck!?
It looks so big and so tiny at the same time...
Part of me wants it to turn it into this:


Funny thing is that Rocksteady or Bebop would have to fit through the window and drive Ace Ventura style, while the other rides on the back... 

I feel like If Mattel made a new Mattycollector styled site to sell 1:10 vehicles and "playsets" with the wrekkin gimmick but not tied to WWE, they'd sell well. They could use the WWE, Masterverse, and their old MOTUC figures. For example a Garbage truck driven by New Eternia Beastman while John Cena is giving Skeletor an Attitude Adjustment and in the back of the truck, about to be compacted, we could have The Mighty Spector. For $60-ish, it would be a reasonable deal.

Perhaps they could make modular "displaysets". What do I mean by displayset? A playset that works as a display piece as well. Let's use this ToyBiz Spider-Man playset as an example: 
We eliminate the flipping arm and the web net...
We're left with the back wall, the dumpster and the Balcony. I'd have the Dumpster be able to be opened and closed. I'd have the balcony to be collapsible/trapdoor kind of feature. The window could open and close. I would probably add some accessories, like a couple of trash cans with removable lids to give the alleyway vibe to it.

"Where's the modularity?" you may ask. The "displayset" I described based on the ToyBiz Spider-Man playset would be alley 01 of a series of 3. Alley 02 and 03 could have different features. The idea is that one could mix and match sets to have a bigger alley, or make corners to create a dead end or something like it. I'm just spitballing some ideas that include play options, because embossing foamboards makes cheaper display walls. But back to the main topic:
Mattel could move the wrekkin' subline to something bigger than just WWE.

Mar 17, 2023

Super7's Mirage Casey: A rant

 He's so far the second most popular figure of wave 10... and by that I mean, he's not as disliked as Ninja April or Rat King... (Ironically, the wave's "best figure" is the one I like the least.) The main issie people have is that he's a repaint with just a new head. Everyone wonders if his crotch issue will be fixed... (despite strongly believing that it won't be fixed) but the second biggest issie is the lack of an unmasked head. Sute, the battle damaged mask is nice, but ever since wave 4 everyone has been asking for an unmasked head. NECA delivered on that front, but not Super7. (I'm saving NECA Mirage Casey for the Advent Calendar) Super7 heard us, but chose to ignore us. This is a repaint with LESS accessories than the last Casey. Vintage Racks won't return due to Playmates Toys bitching and moaning.

An unmasked head was a much better option, but if unmasked Casey was "too similar to NECA", then casey with the mask resting atop his head, as if he had lifted his mask to eat or have a drink could've worked as well. Now the priblem is that the colors chosen for this casey make it kinda hard to sell a Bodycount variant (the usa flag mask version). 

I like this Casey, Don't get me wrong... it's just that it could've been made into something better. Are we going to start making wacky Casey Variants? Because I propose this one for starters...
We could get the elusive unmasked Casey head with this variant to pop on the Mirage version.
You could call it Undercover Casey, which would fit with the Undercover Turtles that may or may not be available... this rights issue is more complicated than we thought. 

At this rate Super7 is better off giving us an extra heads and hands pack.


Apparently, the Darkseid full circle was something stupid

 The totally not narcissistic event called SnyderCon... where Snyder hosts a watch party of some of his movies with some live commentary or something like that. Maybe raise some funds for suicide awareness, just for the sake of pretending he's actually doing something nice, while he allows his fans to spread harassment and toxic behavior by not calling out the bad actors.

Basically, another nothingburger, but the Snydertards won't implode since it's a showing of movies they've already seen and furiously masturbated to hundreds of times. There will probably be a teaser to Rebel Moon and hopefully a message from Snyder finally telling his cultists that he is done with DC and won't touch any other Superhero property for the rest of his life...

Mar 16, 2023

Boy Meets Politics

 Mister Matthews is running for Congress. No, not Eric, Cory! Hence the title of the Rant, Boy Meets Politics! Yes, Ben Savage, brother of Fred Savage, not Related to Randy Savage or Adam Savage is running for Congress. Specifically, the seat that will be vacated by Adam Schiff in Californyuh! Sorry for referencing The Wizard, but I only can use Boy Meets World when talking about Ben Savage. I know he played a young IƱigo Montoya in Criminal Minds, but to me possible Congressman Savage will always be Cory Matthews father of Chewbacca and Plankton Matthews... Riley and Augie Matthews.

Best of luck to Ben Savage... May the wisdom imparted by Feeny may allow you to Do good...


Mar 15, 2023

Hack Snydurr is back...

 He is now shit stirring with a "message from Darkseid". Of course the Snydertards are eating this shit up and spamming their hashtags a lot better than their failed Valentine's campaign. He spent from 2017-2021 doing the same thing
My guess is that he's once again trying to stay relevant in a world that no longer needs him...
Not going to say any names but this is giving me Spector Creative vibes. It most definitely won't be that he will be filming ZSJL2. But his full circle is...

Ninja April: a rant

 While Rat King has taken the spotlight in the recent "Super7 sucks" campaign, despite they getting a mandate from TPTB to not do toys too close to Playmates vintage offerings, April has been under fire as well...

Seriously, what about this Cavewoman outfit screams: Ninja? Don't get me wrong, having April O'Neil wearing only a makeshift dress made out of leopard skin is one of Casey Jones' weirdest fantasies, but a Ninja Newscaster it does not make.
This "Ninja" April is more Ninja-like...
The bandage wraps, sandals, martial arts outfit, and facemask scream Ninja a lot better than "Me Tarzan you Jane" bedtime fantasy vintage April the "Ninja Newscaster" does. 

The idea that April decides to learn Ninjitsu for self defense after hanging out with the Turtles makes sense. But the notion that Aprile has become a Black belt Ninja in such a short time. Taking in consideration that April is an Adult Woman with a full-time job, which leaves her very little time to truly practice. The fastest one person could reach Black Belt level on a martial art is arpund 4-6 years. And that's if the person eats, sleeps, breathes, and lives martial arts like some sort of world warrior... so, canonically speaking this April's existence means that she's known the Turtles for AT LEAST 5-7 years... thus, meaning the Turtles might be in the 20-22 years of age... twenty-something mutant ninja turtles doesn't have the same ring as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... but wait there's more... look at her accessories, she's got four different weapon disciplines. Meaning that she had to master all four weapons that the turtles have been training for over a decade... in 4-6 years...
I'm starting to think that Splinter just gave her a black belt for shits and giggles instead of for truly mastering martial arts.

All I'm saying is that April should be sporting a White Belt, because there's no way in hell that April will be far more proficient at ninja weapons than the TMNT. Maybe a green belt to show that she's going places but still has a lot to go...

But the real reason April got this Ninja makeover is because of Karai. We saw Karai and she shares parts with April. It makes sense for Super7 to reuse some of Karai's parts with a Ninja April, since in some continuities, she HAS Actually trained under Splinter. But this version of April allows something peculiar to be made:

A slightly more "Family Friendly" and "Vintagized" version of Aska.
They could reuse April's top... the A also works for Aska. All they need to do is a tiny red bit of paint to cover her cleavage, bare thighs and new lower legs. Toss in new forearms and hands. New heads and boom.
Quick Low skilled edit of a theoretical Aska by Super7.

Hell, combining parts from This April and Karai, a human Jennika could be a thing. 
But back to Aska:
All she'd need for accessories aside her hands and maybe a head, are Kunai. She could also come with a Vintage Colors Tournament Fighters Rat King head...
Screencap from Spriters resource...
Funny how he's got some sprites that have vintage colors...
A Tournament Fighters inspired redeco could be released as the GITD variation of Rat King sporting only the TF styled head with his body being made in GITD Blue and GITD White. Face, hair, and hands painted in non GITD plastic.
It looks vintage and doesn't step on Playmates' toes...

Dammit! It came back to Rat King! I didn't want this to return to Rat King, I swear...
So, what I'm saying is that THIS Ninja April has far more potential for reusable parts than her Playmates Toys counterpart. Sometimes it's better to drift away from Playmates stuff... April the Ninja Newscaster is a prime example...

Shit! Shit! Shit! This means that April the Ravishong Reporter is a no go... and there go my dreams of making a Undercover Liberty City Hooker April.

Mar 14, 2023

Bishounen Rat King: a Super7 rant

 I made my peace a long time ago (about 20 minutes ago) with Bishie Rat King. If I didn't Ramen Toy has an alternative: The Rat Royale head and possibly an accessory pack for Rat King.

Made using phone rudimentary tools.
No color correction on Ramen Toy head.

Why this rant? Well there's this rumor going on that may be goving a false hope to Vintage purists.

This is a rumor and you should take it with a grain of salt:

Apparently, Playmates DID bitch and moan to Nickelodeon, which made Nickelodeon tell Super7 to TONE DOWN the vintage toy details. Super7 Maliciously complied according to the rumor. 

This idea that Super7 is willingly toning down vintage elements is absurd. Why would they Purposely self-sabotage? The only reason is a mandate from The Powers That Be, which means they aren't doing it willingly. But, MY GUESS, is that they're playing it safe. Could Super7 have done a bit better? Yes. Looking at the Rat King figure with the Ramen Toy Rat Royale, we can see that the Rat King sculpt is solid. Sure it's missing a few rats, but it works. 
The Bone, spiders and centipede... (or is it millipede?) are unimportant to me. I'll miss the Rat Crossbow, but the Snake belt with roadkill cat is pointless for me I would've hated having that stupid belt as a non-removable item on Rat King. 

If Ramen Toy happens to figure out the logistics of a vintage styled head AND the accessories, then most of the complainers might find a way to be pacified... it's not the optimal choice, but with the Nickelodeon mandate/suggestion of ix-nay the intagetoy-vay uff-stay, this is the best option we have. 

There is also another rumor

B-Flynn might have a Mirage or Archie Comics head for Rat King to have a more "classic Rat King" without pissing off TPTB. So, if true, then, Bishie Rat King's main issue is resolved. 

With that said, Here's how I would have done Rat King:
2 heads: Bishie and Archie heads.
Same hands as the standard figure, 3 rats, flute...
So, I eliminated a head, swapped the other, and kept the rest of the accessories. 
I would add: 2 more rats, a staff made out of the broken pole of a Footski... flags would be optional:
Obviously it's a nod to Turtles in Time. It also acts as a "king's scepter", and as a weapon. The final accessory would be a special rat that can cling to the top of the "scepter". 

But that's what I'd do if I was working with S7 to make a Rat King figure pop... but mow I have to work with what I have to make the existing Rat King Cooler: 
This is what I'm working with. So how do I start? RATS...
Unfortunately, I found the perfect set of rats:
40 rats about an inch in length not counting their tails for about $16... problem is that they don't ship to Puerto Rico, so I have to look for more expensive options with less rats. 3 rats is too little for a Rat King... minimum he needs to have 7 rats: how did I get to that number?
1 rat on the Vintage Crossbow, 2 Rats on the Grappling Hook, 3 white rats on his body sculpt and 1 brown rat on his body sculpt. That makes it 7 rats.

Now that theoretically I finished the rat problem, I have to tackle the next area:
WHAT ELSE CAN I ADD?
I reread I, Monster (Tales of the TMNT#4) and Rat King knocked Mike with a piece of wood.
Since I don't have Wrestling Figures to pilfer a piece of wood and I don't want to use an actual piece of wood, well...
Figures Toy Company, has a piece of wood available.

To recap: Extra rats and a piece of wood... *IF* Super7 does make a Mirage or Archie Comics head for Rat King, a Mirage or Mirage-esque Rat King would be completed.

Now assuming that we don't get a classic head and we only get Bishie Rat King, I still have a couple of aces in the hole. The easiest would be buying the kit from Ramen Toy, but this is me we're talking about. I'm going to bite more than I can chew and make a shitty custom head.
I'd need to check my fodder boxes before heading down to 3rd party MOTUC Casts... also, i need to get procreate for sculpting parts. I'm hoping for the fodder boxes not failing me since it's easier to deal with than 3rd party resin casts. 

Now mow, I know that most of these efforts have been in making a somewhat more Classic Rat King... which is what pretty much everyone will try to do... including myself... to an extent.

But I still need to find a way to spice up, Bishie Rat King. So let's recap: there are 3 Rat Kings in the Neftyverse: Rat King I who is basically Mirage Rat King and he's dead. Rat King II who is Toon Inspired and has a bit of Spider-Man inspired elements.
Rat King III, Bishie Rat King is the son of the First one, who is hellbent on killing all pretenders to the title of Rat King.

Visually I need to make distinctions between each figure... so here I go:

RK1: IF S7 makes a Mirage or Archie head, he gets that. If not, I'll have to make a custom head and use it on the s7 body with no alterations.

RK2: IF Ramen Toy makes their kit with head and belt, I'm using that. If there's no belt, then just the head.

RK3: would use the standard s7 head and body. I'd try to get him some sort of belt or bandolier.
I might make a ratty green poncho and wire the sides of the poncho to have it semi posable. 

All this talk as if I'm going to buy 3 rat kings to make all these variations is a bit crazy, but it's how I can justify the new look. If Batman can have 3 Jokers, I can have 3 Rat Kings...

Mar 13, 2023

Super7 TMNT likeness issues: Here comes a 3rd Party Challenger

 With the possible ban on Playmates Toys likenesses, Super7 made Bishie Rat King and people bitched and moaned about it... well, looks like your prayers have been answered:

Ramen Toy is working on a Rat Royale Option head for 7 inch scale figure... but on the same post where this head was revealed, they commented something interesting:
They might look into the possibility of adding the grappling hook, crossbow and belt.

I'm not a fan of the belt, but it might be a good thing for those who like it. The Rat flinging Crossbow on the other hand... I wonder when will ramen Toy offer an update on what will this Rat Royal... 

Super7 TMNT Likeness issues: the plot thickens

 According to Chris Fawcett, author of Rad Plastic: The Totally Awesome History of the Original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Toys, Playmates doesn't own the toy designs. Also, Fawcett asked the VP of Playmates Toys US Branch about this issie and the VP claims that they can't block Super7 from making TMNT stuff... This leaves to the interpretation that it was Nickelodeon who put the kibosh on updating the vintage toys to MOTUC levels of articulation. This makes me believe that the VP of Playmates Toys US Branch is lying... from a certain point of view. While they "can't directly block Super7 from making Vintage Toyline inspired toys" as holders of the Master License for TMNT toys, they can claim that Super7 making tributes to the originals interferes with Playmates' own projects of selling commemorative redos of the original toys. With Playmates being the biggest money maker on a TMNT Movie year, Nickelodeon might've pulled some strings to appease them. So, from a certain point of view I could say Playmates is behind this BS.

A Facebook User asked a few questions to Super7's Brian Flynn, and here's what Flynn said:

Super7 isn't allowed to do things to the character that are 100% toy based. So they had to mix and match. So the question is:

Why would Nickelodeon tell Super7 that they can't do any more close to 100% Vintage toy inspired figures?

Theoretically speaking Super7's market audience is not necessarily the same as Playmates'. Sure, every now and then Playnates lazily throws a ⅛ assed reprint of figures we owned back in the day. 
But to answer my own question: Because Playmates threw a hissy fit. Being the holders of the Master License allows these hissy fits to have some weight. Otherwise, there is no rhyme or reason for Nickelodeon to say anything. 

The only positive about this is: 
Burne would look more like the Zobovor custom than the official Playmates figure.

Some figures that were questionable looking in their Playmates Toys Form, will look more TV or other Media Accurate. You know what? Let's use Burne as an example of what could Theoretically be done with him now that going full Playmates is forbidden.

He should be about as tall as a Turtle... I have my reasons and will explain them later. 
We could go full toon and have him with the blue shirt, or go Archie Comics inspired and give him a white shirt. I'll go with white for reasons that will be explained with the accessories. So picture the Zobovor custom with Ultimates articulation, the white Archie Comics shirt. Now for accessories, the standard c-grips, relaxed, and fists. I'd add a right hand permanently holding a pencil and a hand that can hold a notepad or an 80s brick cellphone. (Think Zack Morris' phone) if possible pointing finger hand(s)
You can guess that a normal 80s brick cellphone and a notepad are two of his accessories. I'd toss in a Channel 6 press card like April's too.
The other accessory and his only "weapon" is a leather slapper. 
The final accessories are heads: aside his normal head, an angry screaming head and last but not least a head wearing a hat like this:
His final accessory would be a soft goods trenchcoat like Undercover Raph's. 
It has nods to Archie, Toon, and even Playmates without being specific to any version... or it would be if it was up to me. 

While I'm here I'll tackle the rest of the Channel 6 crew.
Vernon will obviously be toon based. The bigger differences between MY theoretical Vernon and Playmates' will be the accessories. First I'd reuse Ninja April's Camera for him. (No gun camera here) Microphone should be an obvious accessory. The press ID card is another one. A stack of Vernon photos for autographs
Second to last accessory would be a small sign for his talk show:

For heads, he'd need 3:
Normal head, one with headset like April, and the last head:
The Blond Prindle Head from Archie Comics... adding a removable vest (see ace duck's jacket as an example) would seal the deal.
Hands, the usual hands, maybe an extra hand with a marker sculpted on it to sign autographs.
I tried to allow nods to multiple versions and theoretically a 2-in-1 figure with Prindle and Fenwick modes.

Last but not least, Irma... Her toon look is mandatory. Why?
Because Archie Comics Irma is blegh and MTG Irma is not bad, but it's like the Anti-Irma... I wouldn't be opposed to a MTG Irma figure, but it just wouldn't be the same.
So, toon Irma with soft goods skirt, for accessories, her purse, Turtle Communicator (reuse April's), a laptop, and pepper spray can with optional plug in spray effect. Now I'll add some toon specific items.
A dorky expression like these could have multiple uses: Daydreaming Irma, eating Irma, nsfw Irma, etc.
A half eaten sandwich. Which as you can see here it's Irma's. The blissful face is not necessary but won't complain if this head is added. The next accessory is a preexisting piece, but it's the head what I'm interested in:
Obviously, hands that can hold the Foot Soldier Rifle are needed. If it can also hold the sandwich, even better.

It's a toon based Irma with elements that are not a copy of NECA's. There are nods to the Playmates figure with the Pepper spray can subbing for her hairdryer gun, the laptop is a flat out reference to PMT.  Personally, I'd like the 3 heads: normal, Blissfully dorky, and Badass Bandana Irma. 

I made these in roughly 10 minutes per character... the toughest part was softong through image galleries and fond things I could use that were:
-Not blatant copies of NECA stuff.
-that felt somewhat related to the character or they have actually used said items in media. (ie Vernon's headset head, Irma's Rambo head)
-items echo PMT items without being the exact item (ie, Burne's leather slapper being a substitute for his club sadwich club, Irma's pepper spray can substituting her hairdryer gun)

It's folks like Pizzaface, Walkabout, Tattoo, or Dr. El who worry me. They didn't have representation in other media and might not be doable.

Mar 12, 2023

Louisiana has opened a can of worms with a new law... "to protect kids from porn"

 The law requires users to show a US Government issued form of Identification in order to access these sites. More states want to join in this action. This is wrong... beyond wrong... this is potentially making it easier for cybercriminals to steal your identity. It's not like there are ways to circumvent your IP address and make it look like you are not in Louisiana or any of the states that want to copy this: "We want you to get your identity stolen for being a pervert" law. 

You don't want your kids to watch porn? Then be a fucking parent and do your fucking job!!
The irony is that this is coming from Red States... the ones that claim they want big bad gubmint to not mess with the affairs of the people... all this law does is make it easier for cybercriminals to steal your identity... also it will encourage your kids to steal your wallet long enough to take a pic of your government issued ID (ie Driver's License) and use that info to access porn sites. Either reputable ones or far sketchier sites that might makenidentity theft far easier.


Mar 11, 2023

TMNT Ultimates wave 11 speculation:

In a recent podcast Kyle from Super7 revealed that the Rat King figure was inspired by the  Shredder's Revenge version of the character and not the original toy. This gives credence to the room or that Playmates Toys is blocking Super7 from making toys inspired by the original toys by Playmates. Using this limitation and the fact that they're going with four figures instead of five to make a theoretical list of figures for wave 11.

Or 3 figures + Karai, since she was leaked as the 5th figure of wave 10 once removed.
And out of those 3 figures one is a redco and the other a Turtle Variant that cannot be Donatello.

Let's make 3 lists:
List 1 would be "What I want" meaning that the fogures here, are ones I'd want the most
List 2 would be "What I expect from Super7" meaning random set of figures that I think might be appealing for others and not necessarily high on my list.
List 3 would be "What I'd hate" self-explanatory. These would be figures that would make me skip the whole wave except Karai.

List 1: not counting Karai:

TVar: a new take on Rapping Mike...
Think a cross between Ali G and Vanilla Ice, with a hint of Naruto... Hear me out. Between Ali G and Vanilla Ice we have the whole tracksuit rapper vibe. If we add some TMNT accouterments, he's going to involuntarily lean towards Naruto. Especially if his tracksuit ends up orange or yellow, which he should.
One of his heads should have a Durag style Bandana (and reusing the sewer surfing glasses) in a TMNT/Ali G look. The second head should have a Vanilla Ice in TMNT2 Wig. The third head should have a backwards cap and a big smile showing his gold grill.
For accessories, the Mic-chucks are obvious, a couple of vinyls to use as shuriken and can be popped into a turntable. He will obviously need  scratching hands for using the turntable.

Rdco: toon Rocksteady
Basically same Rocksteady with a new second head without helmet, recolored shirt with bandolier and removable wooden sword.

Nrml: Herman The Hermit Crab
Sure he's a bit of a big boi with his dumpster "shell" though Super7 could shoot for a smaller sized dumpster (like a 2 yard dumpster, which is rather small) he's probably a Mon*Star priced figure 

Sure, some people would complain about Rapping Mike not being a Flava Flav tribute, but assuming that Playmates Toys cockblocked Super7, it was the best option...

List 2: Not Counting Karai:

TVar: Raph the Berserker
This would be part of a "tabletop fantasy" themed set where Raph is the Berserker, leo is the Paladin, Don is the Mage, and Mike is the Bard. Picture a mix of Greek and viking Kratos with hints of MOTU. One of the alternate heads should be a medieval helmet reminiscent of the Nightwatcher helmet. Another of the heads should be a maskless Raphael with warpaint in the shape of his mask.

Rdco: Foot Ninja
This redeco is more a 2.0 figure with hints of Mirage. 3 heads: normal foot soldier, bandana foot ninja, Shredder's Elite Ninja head. Instead of the guns and weapons from the first Foot Soldier, this foot ninja gets ninja weapons (same old swords, daggers, Sewer Samurai Kunai, and a new halberd.) Toss in a soft goods cape to use with the Elite Ninja head and we're done...
Of course Super7 should rerelease this dude in his own at a later date as a "second chance for army building" pseudo wave.

Reference for the heads.


Nrml: Dask
Based on Shredder's Revenge, Dask would end up with similar accessories to Zak. Same skateboard, same small blaster, same turtle communicator, different jetpack, and a new weapon.

I chose this new Raph variant as a nod to Warriors of the Forgotten Sewer and started with a character who didn't get a figure in that Playmates wave... I'm so going to make a "Sewers and Splinters" themed rant soon. 
Choosing the Foot Soldier to give it a 2.0 treatment was an obvious choice. It gives us things that Playmates Toys never gave us, it still follows the "mirage did these, so we can too" angle. And Dask gives us 2 out of 3 Neutrinos.

List 3:

TVar: a Baseball Raph
Not the same thing as the Playmates figure. Sure, the baseball uniforms tned to be similar, but give him a different color palette and design. For accessories. A mitt, ball, bat, and other baseball related items. As a joke the bat should have a JC or the number 33 engraved on it. Yes, it's a reference.

Rdco: Mirage Colors April
Same April we got but blue outfit and brown boots. I must mention that her skintone must match April 1.0 and she should come with different accessories. New Toon Accurate head, New Mirage head, 2 Mousers.

Nrml: Human Baxter Stockman
Basically a Baxter Stockman figure pre mutation, but based on his Mirage look and the outfit of Fly Baxter. He'd have a spare Caucasian Baxter head and it should work like their Cobra Trooper. As a bonus, you could use some of the extra African American hands on Fly Baxter and have the AA Fly Baxter.

I know what you're thinking; I've campaigned for stuff on this wave, mainly Karai, Human Baxter, a Mirage redeco April: How can i be hating on this wave? It suffers from the same issue as wave 10 too many hoomans.

The Room is getting a remake...

 Nobody is playing the role of Johnny. I mean if you're a teen who likes to watch people having sex, but need your tuition paid, better call Johnny... because it's all good, man!

Get it? It's Saul Goodman... Bob Odenkirk is playing Johnny in the Remake of The Room. Apparently, this is for aiding a non-profit organization, the foundation for AIDS research. It's a good thing, but I'm afraid that there is one person who may rain on this parade.
The human bean known as Tommy Wiseau. Allegedly, this remake didn't consult with Wiseau Films...

But seriously, I want to see this, especially with all the hilarious Wiseau lines done by Odenkirk... lines like:
I did not hit her it's not true it's bullshit I did not hit her I did not oh hi Mark.

Let's  go eat huh.

Anyway how's your sex life

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheeeep.

Since the Original TMNT line seems to be Verboten, what do I want from TMNTU?

 Assuming the Playmates cockblocking is real, what do I want from this line?

That is an interesting question:
The answer lies on what can Super7 do:
Right now I want to complete rosters:
The Turtles are complete. No worries there.
Sure, I'd like an Undercover Donatello, for the sake of completing the disguised Turtles... but that might not happen.

Punk Frogs:
I guess that the other 3 now might end up as Genghis repaints with maybe new shirts and new accessories, which in a weird way is better for me.

Channel 6 crew might end up being toon based, yes! Or they might not get made... crap!

Neutrinos kinda piss me off if I end up stuck with just Zak.

Usagi is the big question: does this mean, that Super7 might have to work with Sakai to get an Ultimates Usagi Yojimbo that is compatible with TMNT, but not on the TMNT line?

Pamda Kham becoming less likely is not a big issue for me... mostly because my interest in him was to make Panda Cheese references. 

Bad guys:
What will happen to Tokka? If made, will he be movie accurate or will he be a Slash redeco with new parts? 

Super Shredder: most likely will end up being movie Accurate or Shredder's Revenge Accurate.

Krang's Android Body will most likely be toon or videogame based.

Groundchuck and Dirtbag: Shredder's Revenge versions give me hope.

I already discussed a Toon Traag with Toy inspired levels of Detail... wonder if that can bring us Granitor...

Pizzaface: the dream is dead. I should accept that he won't happen. Or can he be made if he were redesigned? 

Ooh... now that's the million dollar question: if Rat King was redesigned, could others be too? 
If they can make characters inspired by the Playmates toys, but not be super accurate to PMT's designs, I could begrudgingly accept that. The issue is how many people would accept that, since web chatter has been disappointment about this wave. Mainly about Bishounen Rat King, but we have to wait and see.

Honestly, I hope this makes Super7 look at other sources... imagine "vintage inspired" figures of Venus, Herman the crab, Agent Bishop, etc.
Between April and the teased Karai, there are enough parts to MacGyver a Human Jennika only requiring a new  belt, heads, and ninja claws.

Update:
Apparently, The Rat King figure is "inspired" by Shredder's Revenge. 
So there's hope for Tokka,Rahzar, Groundchuck, Dirtbag, and Kevin Nash... sadly, Pizzaface is screwed.