Doc Ock paired with Aunt May made sense because in the comics she almost married Doc Ock. Green Goblin paired with MJ makes sense in the TAS Universe, since he was the one who had MJ cloned out of Hydroman and he also Gwen Stacy'd MJ into another dimension, which brought forward the Original Spiderverse... this just gave me an idea: Spider-Carnage and Uncle Ben Two-Pack! Obviously, Felicia Hardy would pair up well with Morbius.
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| Aunt May: Oh, Peter, I miss Ben so much... Peter: I miss him too, Aunt May. Aunt May: I feel so alone Peter. Peter (thought): Spider-Sense Is Going Crazy! Aunt May's hand... Aunt May: Oh Peter, looks like something suddenly came up! Peter: Really, Nefty? A Brady Bunch Reference? Are you going to reference that Aunt May has Glimmer's VA? |
But Why the Hell is Peter Parker (pink T-shirt and grey Jacket) paired with Smythe? Are we getting a striped Polo Peter? Please say yes! Why not save Smythe and have him as a Legendary Rider with his badass chair?
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| Kingpin: Where do you think you're going Smythe? Smythe: To get a Martini, shaken not stirred. Kingpin: When were you James Bond, Smythe? Smythe: Nightfire... Kingpin: I am more of a Connery fan, Smythe... Smythe: I could've sworn that Nefty would've made a rapey Kingpin joke by now... Kingpin: Ah, Behold the power of me... I can even make this world's god tremble with fear. |
Now that I got my whining out of the way, let's do this. It comes in the "eco friendly package" so let's go into the characters:
Peter Parker:
Nerd, sounds like Prince Eric or Greg Brady from the 90s Brady Bunch movies, looks more hip than classic comic book Peter. Is actually the voice I hear when I read Spidey comics... Kinda looks a bit like Nicholas Hammond, the 70s live action Spidey. This is the Secret Identity of Spider-Man.
Alistair Alphonso Smythe, the Ultimate Spider Slayer:
Bound to a Wheelchair after an accident, his father, Spencer Smythe, a roboticist working for Norman Osborn, built the first Spider Slayer in order to bring Spidey to the authorities, in exchange for technology to build a better wheelchair for his son. Osborn was working for the Kingpin and Smythe was "killed" in a fight between Smythe's Spider Slayer against Spider-Man.
Kingpin brought in the younger Smythe into the fold, allowing him to build more Spider Slayers to avenge his father. Kingpin had kidnapped the Elder Smythe and had him in Cryostasis.
As the younger Smythe figured out he was expendable, he contacted Peter Parker and wait... don't tell me THIS is why he's paired up with Peter. Kingpin found out and had Herbert Landon turn him into a brainwashed Mutant Cyborg, the Ultimate Spider Slayer!
So, now that we know about the characters, let's do the review:
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| Double jointed elbows would've helped this Reference to the intro be a bit better. |
Articulation:
Peter is on a civilian outfit with rolled up sleeves on his jacket. That means single joint elbows aka the Hasbro elbow. Everything else is normal ML styled articulation. His jacket CAN get in the way of some crawling poses (reason why I wanted the striped shirt Peter... most likely coming with Chameleon)
PP 4.0
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| He can kinda pull off his MvC stance... |
Smythe on the other hand has standard articulation, but he feels a bit gummy on the shoulders... and at times the lasers can get in the way.
AS 4.5
Paint and sculpt:
Peter, as I mentioned looks like Nicholas Hammond but something is slightly off. Don't get me wrong, I like the sculpt, but there's something off that I can't quite put my finger on it. Aha! The body is a bit too slim for a TAS Peter. It feels more at home with a comic book Spidey.
PP 4.5
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| Peter: Alright. Miss Mika, that pose is, uh... Mika: Sexy AF! It shows my best ASSets and a bit of side boob action and I know how big my melons are! Peter: Um... what's wrong miss White? Cammy: Are you sure you're a professional photographer, Mr. Parker. This feels like a sleazy photoshoot from an Adult Visual novel... Peter: Hey! I made myself famous by taking Pictures of Spider-Man! Mika: Wait, you KNOW Spider-Man!? I can't believe that scrawny wimp was able to beat Master Zangief! Cammy: Poor Mika, in love with a gay man... Mika: Master Zangief is NOT Gay! He rejected me for that porca puttana Marissa... Cammy: Because she looks like a bloody man! Peter: Can I just take the pictures, so I can go back to my supermodel wife? Mika: Are you talking about your right hand or your left hand? Cammy: Wait! Aren't you the bloke who married Mary Jane Watson? Peter: Yes! That's me! Cammy: So do you want me squatting and showing my ass, in all fours or rubbing myself on Mika's leg? Peter: This is the last time I do Ken Masters a favor... |
Smythe on the other hand is a bit too grey. I know he's supposed to look unnatural, but the people behind the toy based his coloring on night time pictures that make him look darker.
Face sculpt reminds me a bit of Captain Planet.
Other than that, I've no real complaints.
AS 5.0
Accessories:
Hasbro dropped the Ball here.
Peter gets a camera, which makes sense. He has a wristwatch, which is not a big deal. The web shooting hands don't make sense. What he needed was Wall-crawling hands.
PP 4.0
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| Peter (thought): Spider-Sense going wild, better hide! Kingpin: Why are we here Smythe? If you're going to offer me a back alley happy ending, I have to refuse, because I am a happily married Crimelord! Smythe: No, sir. I'm not gay either! It's Spider-Man! I sense he's nearby! Peter (thought): Crap in a hat! I forgot about Smythe being a Spider Slayer now. Kingpin: Ah, if it isn't Spider-Man's photographer, uh, Peter Palmer! Smythe, you fool! Spider-Man's friend Palmer is here. What you're detecting is people who have been close to him. Stop wasting my time! Let's go! Here you go Palmer! We never saw each other... Peter: Thanks unrecognizable disembodied voice! Peter (thought): Holy crap baskets! Kingpin just gave me 10K for my silence... this would be enough to pay my bills and stay a bit afloat! I know, with great power comes great responsibility! This dirty money should be put to good use. |
Smythe on the other hand gets fists... not even laser blast effects to use on his shoulder blasters.
AS 2.0
Overall:
Before I give the final scores, I want to point out something: I FREAKING LOVE THIS SET DESPITE ITS MULTIPLE SHORTCOMINGS. The figures are super fun and having a small TAS display makes.
Peter Parker gets a 4.17 as his final score. I blame Hasbro's odd accessory choices and the slightly limited articulation on the figure.
Smythe on the other hand gets a 3.83 as his final score. The blame lies fully in the lack of accessories.
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| Peter: Guess the kids at the Wish Come True Foundation for Terminally Ill Children will receive another anonymous donation. For you, Taina... wherever you are. |
The two pack combined gets a 4.0 overall score, which is pretty good, but it could've been a bit better.
"You think all it's done, you think all it's well! You can kiss my green ass; I shall see you in Hell, Parker!"- Green Goblin or something... jump!
Wait, do my eyes deceive me or is this a two part review? Thanks to Hasbro Pulse having MJ vs Green Goblin in stock, I was able to nab this set.
There are two reasons for me to get this set:
Mary Jane and Green Goblin...
Mary Jane is the niece of May's friend Anna Watson, a girl who was set up as a blind date for Peter. The two hit it off but at some point she gets replaced by a water clone as part of Norman Osborn's desire to destroy Spider-Man. Series ended before Peter was able to find her.
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| Goblin: What the fuck is a Kuwabara Kuwabara and why do you want me to say it? Nefty VO: Because you wouldn't understand it Norman... Goblin: I'm not Norman Osborn, I'm the Green Goblin! Nefty VO: You outed yourself, Assborn! I was referring to Norman Reedus... Goblin: Fuck you, Nefty! |
Norman Osborn, CEO of Oscorp,coerced by the Kingpin to create weaponry/threats to Spider-Man. He designed the technology used by the Hobgoblin and eventually ended up becoming the Green Goblin, now obsessed with ruining Spider-Man/Peter Parker. He ended up tossing Mary Jane through a dimensional portal into a random dimension. Series ended before Peter was able to find her.
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| Comic based heads work on these bodies. Even if they look a bit odd due to the outfits being based on the cartoon. |
Articulation:
MJ has old school Hasbro elbows, making her articulation similar to older female figures. Since she's supporting character, super action forces are not required for her. This means her articulation is adequate.
4.5
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| MJ: Tiger! Take a picture! (Shrek Accent) My name is Morrigan Aensland! I want to suck your plasma... Peter: MJ, you got the accent right, but Morrigan is not a vampire. She's a Succubus. An abnormal Succubus... MJ: (Shrek voice) What do you mean with abnormal, tiger? Peter: She sucks fun instead of creamy nut filling... MJ: (Shrek voice) I prefer to suck fun, because sucking the creamy nut filling leaves men tired and I want to enjoy them all night long! Peter: Alright Morrigan, what do you want? MJ: (Shrek voice) How did you know it was me? Peter: Spider-Sense... Where's MJ? Morrigan: She was dropped into Makai thanks to your foe the Green Gobbler... Peter: It's Goblin... Morrigan: Gobblin' Deez Nutz! Ahahahahahahaha! Peter: I see you started sucking off the fun out of everything... Morrigan: I should warn you that entering Makai has some side effect on humans. Also, there's no need for you to wear your costume in Makai... |
Norman on the other hand, has similar articulation to other Goblin figures, this is due to him sharing parts with other goblins... I think he's in the Cyclops body with different forearms and boots.
4.5
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| Peter: What are we waiting for!? It's Spidering time!! Morrigan: Are you aware that you're grabb9nh my booby? Peter: A sex demon complaining about boob grabbing? What the heck is going on? Morrigan: I'm not complaining. I just don't think Mary Jane would like that. Peter: Then transform into your succubus form and fly, you fool! Nefty VO: Unfortunately, I don't have a Marvel Legends compatible Morrigan figure, so MJ disguise Morrigan will have to do. I won't buy Storm Collectibles Morrigan, because spending $105+ shipping for a Wrong hole joke (see StormCo Morrigan's alternate heads). Hopefully Jada will make Darkstalkers figures. |
Paint and sculpt:
Miss Watson has a ton of newly sculpted parts and some retooled old parts with new overlays to make them newish. Her vibrant colors capture her cartoon likeness very accurately.
5.0
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| Nefty VO: One makai adventure later. MJ: Oh Tiger! I'm glad to be back! I spent so much time leaping across dimensions that I almost felt like Scott Bakula... Peter: I kinda married an Aquaclone of you, so technically we're legally married... MJ: Wait, we're what now? Aunt May: Bow, Kowl, are you there? Peter (thought): Really? A Glimmer reference? We're in the house of Rants dimension... Anansidammit! |
Norman on the other hand is a bit too bright. I've seen some complaints about his crotch being darker, but that is accurate to the cartoon. Personally I wish the entire outfit was the color of his crotch and his crotch being a bit darker. I absolutely love his face sculpt. I dare say that I love it more than the comic book version of the Green Goblin. The only nitpick I have regarding this figure is the alternate Norman Osborn head that the paint on the hair is more comic book accurate than cartoon accurate.
4.5
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| Goblin: FINISH IT! May: I've fallen and I can't get up! Goblin: FINISH IT!! May: Finish what? Goblin: Praying! I might be an asshole who sold his son's soul to the devil, but I respect other people's religious beliefs... May: I have to start all over again. Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us... Goblin: FINISH IT! May: FROM EVIL!! Goblin: Amen! Nefty VO: ix-nay on eligion-ray! Goblin: You bought a Jesus Christ Action figure... don't give me that agnostic crap! Also Thor has been here before, so you brought religion as a topic here Nefty VO: Zoardammit! Goblin: See! Eternian Religion! When am I stuffing the Stacy Girl? May: Can anyone help me, I've fallen and I can't get up! |
Accessories
MJ got the short end of the stick here. 1 set of extra hands. She could've used an extra set of "water hands" to simulate the hydroclone situation.
2.0
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| Nefty VO: Be thankful that I actually ship you and MJ... unlike the official Marvel Universe that hates you and is hellbent on destroying your love... |
Norman on the other hand gets:
Extra Norman head
Handbag
Pumpkin bomb
Glider
I kinda wish he had gotten spare hands like the pointing finger the 1994 Toybiz Green Goblin figure from the cartoon had.
5.0
Overall
Mary Jane gets a 3.83 as her final score. It sounds a bit underwhelming, but I blame the lack of accessories.
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| Gwen: Holy Thanksgiving! Now I know what it feels like to be a turkey... Norman: Just wait until I baste your insides!! Gwen: No, Norman! Not today! It's not a safe day! Norman: YES! YES! YES! YES! I can almost imagine Parker's face when he finds out I've been fucking his girlfriend behind his back! Not only that, I got to deflower her!! Gwen: Mmmmm! It is so fucking wrong, but the idea of Peter being cucked by his third worst enemy is making me extremely aroused!! *needle scratch* Norman: THIRD!? What do you mean, third? Gwen: Don't stop pounding... well, there's Doctor Octopus who is Peter's dark reflection. Then there's Mr. Jameson, who literally has a hate boner for Peter, yet he doesn't know that Peter is Spider-Man! Norman: wait, you knew!? Gwen: Duh! Did you think your charms brought me to the "dark side"? All I saw was a huge simp with money, that also happened to be his third worst enemy. Norman: You USED me!? I-I can't believe this! Gwen: You are pathetic, Norman... as a matter of fact, I'm not even here. I'm jist a clone made by that simp Miles Warren who wanted revenge on you... Tick Tock! Tick Tock! Clock is ticking Norman... Goblin: What!? Gwen: The Paz Ortega Special... Neft VO: Clones, Vaginal bombs is this a metal gear reference? Spike VO: YES! DEAH BROTHA! |
Norman on the other hand gets a 4.67 as his final score. The paint inaccuracy on the alternate head was what ruined the score for Norman.
The Two-Pack gets a final score of 4.25, which is pretty good, but it could've been a bit better.
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