As a former Mall Santa, I do have an appreciation for the Big Man in Red, good ol' Kris Kringle, the one and only Santa Claus... As long time readers may know, I'm suffering from depression, exacerbated by my Mom's death. Well, the year of her death, Christmas obviously sucked ass. But as we got in the season, my brother and I picked up a carry out order at a local Domino's. Say what you will about their pizzas, but they taste like nostalgia. So as we were trying to leave with the order, we couldn't open the door. A dude dressed as Santa not only helped us by opening the door, but gave us the whole Santa: "Merry Christmas, Ho! Ho! Ho!" Sure, the dude was just a Mall Santa and not the Immortal joybringer that I admire, but I was down and that act of kindness touched me. When we got to the car I started crying. I was feeling darkness and that random act of kindness coning from Santa gave my cold and empty heart a sense of warmth that I had been missing since Mom Died.
With that out of the way, let's talk the Naughty or Nice Collection's Santa Claus:
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| Santa: Let's see, Nefty, Nefty, Nefty... Huh? He's on the Nice List... He wants a PS5 and a Life sized Hannah Montana doll... I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going... |
Articulation:
While he's in the same scale as Marvel Legends, his articulation is closer to Super 7 ultimates. The elbows are similar to the female Marvel Legends of a few years back with the single joint elbow that has swivel and rotation.The knees are single joint despite looking like a bigger female Hasbro elbow. That is mostly because he's a fat dude. He has excellent ankle articulation the joints aren't loose but at the same time they aren't stiff. The only nitpick I have on his articulation is that he lacks a butterfly cut on his torso in order to be able to touch his nose with the pointing finger as Santa can do.
4.0
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| Santa: Milk is Whole and real, none of that Nut juice. Cookies are homemade triple chunk chocolate, I see Milk chocolate, 85%cacao dark chocolate, and Nutella chunks!? Nefty has gone through a lot of effort to be nice this year. |
Paint and sculpt:
The scope for this Santa figure is pretty detailed I love how the fuzzy edges of his outfit and hat have a popcorn stucco skull simulating the fussiness his beard and mustache have a beautiful detailed sculpt and his expressions are wonderful paint job is mostly flawless I only have a little bit of slop on his left foot but it's easily fixable. There is very little paint bleeding on the figure. It actually rivals Marvel Legends in details and I'm talking toy Biz era his tunic has a little bit of shading, which makes him feel more fancy than the average Hasbro Legends figure.
5.0
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| Billie Eilish: What the Hell is going on here!? Nefty: Santa? Oh my God! Santa is Real!? Santa: Whoa there Nefty, I'm Santa Claus, not Tara Strong for you to react like that. I ran out of Hannah Montana dolls and I know you wouldn't like current Miley. Nefty: You could've gone for Emily Osment though... Santa: I didn't have any Emily Osment dolls or PS5s so I brought you the Real Billie Eilish so you can do hentai things... Billie and Nefty: Hwat!? Nefty: Isn't she like 17? Billie: Dude I'm 21... Santa: See? She's legal! You can Jingle all the way with her! Bille: Wait a minute! I can't just bang whatever Rando you bring me to!? Nefty: We do not consent. Billie: What, you don't think I'm hot enough for you!? I am waaaaay out of your league! Nefty: I never said that! Yes, you're aesthetically pleasing, but you don't consent... so that's the end of it. I'm a pervert, not a rapist! Santa: I'm not leaving until you stick your Candy cane in her Ho-Ho-Holes! Billie: That's not very nice, Santa... Nefty: I won't do it... Santa: Congratulations Nefty, you passed the test! I don't have a PS5, but I will give you 10 minutes to see your Mom... Nefty: Thank you Santa! *crying* Best Christmas ever! Santa: Before you ask, his Mom is dead. Billie: Oh. Can you take me home now? Santa: Sure! |
Accessories:
Stand
Cookies
Plate
Glass with removable milk
List
Extra head
3 extra hands
Present
List
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| Santa: And that's how I gave Nefty the best Christmas present ever! The Nutella chunks in his homemade cookies and using real milk were the deciding factor. |
I feel like he could've come with a bit morne, but they have to sell the Accessory packs... I honestly feel sad he has no sack... but that can be fixed by getting the accessory packs.
I LOVE that the milk can be removed from the glass and be left empty for Christmas morning. I kinda wish there was a half eaten cookie.
The only nitpick I have is that he has no hand to properly hold the glass. I had to pry one hand open for the photo.
5.0
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| Santa: You have been a Naughty Girl, Mrs. Claus!*slap* Mrs. Claus?: I'm so sorry Santa! Ow! Santa: You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout, I'm going in dry! *slap* |
Overall:
Santa gets a 4.67 as his final score. It's a pretty decent score for a figure that was meant to be a Novelty... I'm sure that Latin American folks would love to see The Magi included as the Magi have more influence than Santa in their part of the woods. I hope we get a Santa Chair, but I dread the Sleigh with all those Reindeer.
Like I was going to leave the Big Man hanging...
I GOT HIS SACK!! It sounded better in my head.
The accessory pack arrived at a not so great day, but I'm dealing with that... At least I can now make Wilford Brimley impressions without any backlash, because Diabeetus.
If you have more than one figure from the wave, you know what to expect here.
-2 stockings
-2 chocolate chip cookies.
-plate
-glass of milk with removable milk.
-red present
-stack of green presents
-2 lumps of coal
-list
-soft goods coat
-soft goods sack
For $22+s&h it's slightly overpriced. It's a decent set, but it needed a little bit more.
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| Santa: Peter Parker, I was lookongnfor you! Pete: Santa!? Santa: Merry Christmas, Peter! You're on the nice list! |
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| Santa: The green ones are your standard tchotchkes that a photographer turned school teacher turned CEO turned loser would have around. Pete: Ouch! What about the red one? |
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| Santa: You're to open that one once I leave. It's not as sentimental as the time doctor strange gave you a few minutes with Uncle Ben... but this one will give you One More Day of Joy... I'll take my leave now. Pete: Thanks Santa! Merry Christmas! Santa: Merry Christmas to you too, Peter! If you'll excuse me I have something for a certain Red clad devil friend of yours... |
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| Superfriends Narrator VO: Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice. Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Hello, Alfred Pennyworth! You have been extra nice this year! Alfred: Forgive me, Master Kringle. With the current Crisis, I was rather tardy at decorating Stately Wayne Manor, the Batcave, and The Hall of Justice. Santa: It's OK, old chum! I know your work, especially keeping, young Bruce on the side of angels! I don't envy you, with having to deal with little Damian. Alfred: Master Damian is a bit rough around the edges, but he's getting there, master Kringle. Santa: I know, this is the first year I won't be leaving a lump of coal in his stocking. So, how about it, old chum! Want another day with Tommy and Martha, so you can tell them all the good Bruce has been doing in their name? Alfred: My word! Wouldn't it be better if for this year, Master Bruce was able to spend the day with them? Santa: He's not ready yet. Besides, he still hasn't gotten over the letter Barry brought him. Alfred: Master Allen is a really nice fellow. Santa: Not as nice as Clark Kent... Alfred: in these trying times, no one is... |
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| Santa; *humming* Mephisto: Screw you, Kringle!! Ha ha very funny! Coal for the dude who loves in HELL! Santa: Want me to use this candy cane to check your prostate? That way your candy ass would be a literal candy ass! Just try me, Mephistopheles... just try me. |
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| Peter: Holy crap! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!! MJ: Face it Tiger, you just hit the Jackpot!! Ben Reilly VO: Yo Pete! Can I join? Pete: No clones allowed! Ben Reilly Vo(mockingly) No clones allowed! There is a Chasm between us and I will take what- Ow! Why did you do that, Nefty? Nefty VO: You ain't ruining my Christmas with that Chasm bullshit! |
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