May 29, 2021

Rugrats CG reboot: a rant

 So Rugrats is getting a CG reboot. I hate that it's CG instead of traditional animation. They have made a few changes, like making Grandpa Lou some sort of hippie... also they may have had Betty DeVille finally come out of the closet.

Some people are acting outraged at this, like if this was some new development... back in the 90s they couldn't have an openly gay character on a children's cartoon. But all the signs were there. Things have changed in the past 30 years... Ouch! I felt that in my lower back as I typed this. 

One could argue that her being a loud tomboy doesn't automatically make her a lesbian. Also, there's the whole "she's married to Howard" thing... again, need I remind you of the closet?

Characters being in the closet is not a new thing. Northstar, a Marvel character, member of Alpha Flight was always meant to be openly gay. But due to regulations at the time they couldn't say that he was gay... the not so subtle way to say he was gay without saying he was gay was saying he is partially a Fairy. Fairy is slang for gay man.  Now that things have relaxed, Northstar is able to be openly gay... 

Something similar is happening with Betty DeVille. How can you say a woman is a lesbian wothout saying she's a lesbian:
Loud, tomboish, feminist... and come on! It's  extremely obvious that Howard is a pathetic beard. The guy is like the biggest doormat in the universe. It doesn't make sense that a guy like him would find a wife... unless she needed to be married for some reason. Again, closet...

If back then things were as lax as they are right now, I'm 100% sure that Betty DeVille would've been openly gay. 

Now that I got that out of the way, what's the deal with Grandpa Lou being a Yoga practicing Grandpa?

This joke wouldn't fly today... but CG!! WHY!?

Some non-Figure TMNT things that I'd like to see from Super7.

 The most obvious item won't be on the list, because Super7 is not allowed to do it for the moment... rumor has it that NECA will release a Toon version of it.

"Character Booster" packs:
Heads, hands, weapons, effects, and other things should be in these. Sure some may require new tooling but other parts can be simple repaints. These could work like this. Let's use Leonardo as an example.
He gets:
Both heads from his normal release with Mirage Red Headbands.
Extra hands (hang ten pose, pointing pose)
Kunai from Sewer Samurai Leo.
Actual 4 point shuriken
Ninja scroll... not the anime but generic ninja scrolls like anime ninja use... totally NOT a reference to the first NES game... but if we can reference it, then good.
Add on effects for some weapons like slash effects for the swords and kunai.

For Shredder it would be similar in that he would get effects, additional weapons, hands and heads, but the items would be different.
Heads he would get a normal shredder head in blue with blue mask.
A second unmasked Oroku Saki head.
Hands would be "ninja pose hands" a true to vintage accurate 2 finger grip hand, a hand that could hold shuriken between the fingers.
Maybe a red cloth tunic (nod to Mirage and Wacky Action)

Not all characters would get packs and not all packs would be similar. In some cases packs could be combined, like say Rocksteady and Bebop both would get hands and weapons and such... maybe even the communicator... (Super Shredder had one, so it was in the vintage line.)

The party wagon may be temporarily unavailable, but the other Main method of sewer transportation for the turtles is rather easy to do. Theoretically speaking this could be roughly $65.

This vehicle is a smidge bigger and probably would carry a bigger price tag. The only reason I'm suggesting it is Turtles in Time... and to push for a Rat King... because Turtles in time.

Smaller Dioramas:
Realistically speaking, the chances of us Getting a Technodrome or a Sewer Lair are slim to none. Sure there are mini playsets like oozey or flush-o-matic that they could do. I'm not saying go full playset, but have you seen these cardboard dioramas?  Well, I'm not suggesting something as extreme... I'm  suggesting a couple of plastic props that can be put on a cardboard floor base and a backdrop wall. Because let's face it: Even if the Technodrome or the Sewer Lair were made, based on the vintage toys, it's a pain in the ass to display stuff there. 
For example, let's say Sewer Lair. You get a cardboard sewer backdrop and floor. Then various accessories: couch, coffee table, TV and a TV Table, pizza boxes, pizzas both whole and sliced, a blanket, various ninja weapons. 
They be out here is to create a display of the sewer lair it could be April sitting on the couch and Splinter tells her their origin story. Or it could be splinter trying to watch the news while the turtles are goofing off. Maybe the cardboard pieces could be double sided and a half different backdrops and the other backdrop could be the dojo. That means that means that the dojo side of the display could be used for Splinter training the turtles or the turtles fending off from a Foot Clan attack.

For the Technodrome styled display, you could have the Dimensional portal as the backdrop with both Cardboard and plastic pieces, other gizmos and stuff. On the other side of the display, it could be the Foot Soldier factory and by switching around certain parts and reassembling them in a different more, they would turn into different pieces of machinery.

The beauty of these is that super7 could expand on them later on by releasing other expansions.
Not only that, but they could expand unto different backdrops. Alleys, subway stations, Central Park, etc.

Only problem is that they're not purely vintage and nick/Playmates might have an issue.

Small enemies that wouldn't work as a single release on their own:
Mousers, Roadkill Rodneys, and other small enemies from the games, comics, and toon.  The idea is to have bunches of barely articulated enemies that could work as accessories in normal releases, but to come on their own. Yes, this is an expanded version of the bucket of Mousers idea.

Normal accessory packs:
By Normal packs I mean accessories that are not character themed. These aren't tied to the dioramas either. Kinda like a hybrid between NECA'S accessory packs and Mattel's Weapon packs.

Other small vehicles:
April's Ninja Newscycle comes to mind. Pogocopter and Technodrome Scout vehicle come to mind as well...

The reason I don't ask for larger vehicles is the exaggerated pricetag that they will come with. If they weren't so bloody expensive, I'd be screaming Technodrome, Mutant Module, Tuetle Blimp!!
Can you imagine a 1:10 scale turtle blimp!? My God!
Not mine... in fact whatever happened 
to my blimp?

Easily Super7 might ask for $1000 for the Blimp...

May 27, 2021

Hasbro announced a new Retro Series Miguel O'Hara

 Seems like a non-metallic paint version of the previous Spider-Man 2099... So here's a clip of 2099 to compensate.

The good news: 
Unlike the Hobgoblin wave version, this Miguel has some extra stuff. Fists, and Talon hands. For those of you who don't know Miguel O'Hara ask some retractable talons which he uses to climb surfaces and to fight. Unlike Peter Parker who sticks to surfaces via a form of static cling.

The bad news:
He is still made on the Pizza Spidey body instead of the Kaine body (like the 2020 outfit given to him by Peter Parker) Miguel is supposedly a bit beefier than Peter as Spidey.
There is no Miguel O'Hara head for him.

Also he sold out on Hasbro pulse. I don't get how these pre-orders get to sell out. I would understand if they had pre-made stop that they were selling and then they ran out of them, but these are coming at the end of the year. 

Also, there's a second AoA wave coming with Cyclops, Iceman, Rogue, Magneto, Kitty Pryde, Sabretooth, and Legion. Colossus is the BAF.

There were some X-calibur teases... the chances of a Shadowcat are high... I mean Black or really dark blue jacket with light blue tights Kitty Pryde!!

So, I watched Zack Snyder's Army of the Dead

 Another divisive Zack Snyder film. Some people claim it's great, others claim it's dumb. One thing is certain: it has WAY TOO MANY SNYDERISMS... as almost always: Spoilers, britches!

The movie starts by ruining Suspicious Minds by The King of Rock and Roll in the most Zack Snyder way that ever Zack Snydered. 3 minutes in and I'm already eye rolling... Damn you Zack Snyder, damn you to hell!! And now Zack Snyder is channeling his Nazi Classmate. I'm talking about Michael Bay...

The S stands for Snyder's gonna fuck this up!

A blowjob gone wrong unleashed the zombie plague. Why is the movie so out of focus? It's an "artistic choice" done on purpose... Damn you Zack Snyder!! Damn you to hell!! 7 minutes in and I have a headache...  

Now Snyder ruins Viva Las Vegas because it's Zack Snyder... oh look Zombie Showgirls showing zombie titties... Mr. Female empowerment, yo! But he added male stripper zombies, showing their pecs so equality!! (With 300, the DCEU films, one could make the case that Zack Snyder is a citizen of Narnia due to his use of homophobia mixed with homoerotic imagery... best seen in 300.) Seriously, most of Snyder's villains are implied homosexuals, or became evil after being sodomized...

Xerxes, implied gay. Ozymandias, implied gay. Lex Luthor, raped by his father. Where was I? The intro to Army of the Dead. While the music selection makes the most sense, being Las Vegas and all that, it's still a Zack Snyder movie. The zombie battle montage is OK, not gonna lie, but I've had better. The scene with troops parachuting down the Statue of Liberty replica feels more at home somewhere else...

At 11:49 on the film there's a portrait floating in the air. Now that I got my Batista is stealing John Cena's gimmick out of the way, let's force myself to retell my experience.

Donald Trump got a semi chub the moment they built the wall around Las Vegas... two reasons: Wall and that Las Vegas is being shut down. Something something take that for denying the gaming license... I mean he thought Christian Bale was actually Bruce Wayne.

I took a screenshot of me taking a picture from the TV... it was an artistic choice made on purpose to mock Zack Snyder's bad choices.
Also, screenplay by Zack Snyder... 

And they're going to Raccoon City Las Vegas.  Batista is asked to Ocean's Eleven something out of Götterdämmerung... wait... I know I've heard this term before... something something compressed boobs, something something ghetto florist panties, something something breaking act of Der Ring des Nibelungen...  THAT'S THE GERMAN WORD FOR RAGNAROK, which is the Nordic equivalent to Apocalypse... get it? An Apocalyptic Heist in a zombie Apocalypse out of a place called Apocypse... This is so pretentious that I'd almost think that Hideo Kojima had something to do with this... speaking of Hideo Kojima... he thought this movie turned his head into a zombie... damn, even Hideo Kojima is launching some passive aggressive snark at Snyder. Of cousre we have a creepy guard that preys on women (who looks a bit Latino), because Joss Whedon is a pervert for doing similar scenes. 

PTSD in slow-motion because ZS!! 

So Batista accepts to Ocean's Eleven this thing. Now hat we kinda have a team, let's get this going. Now to be fair, some of the scenes with Digitally Added Tig Notaro look pretty good... I mean, if you don't know about the truth, she looks seamless... but there are some scenes that... let's say that Superman's mustache removal was a smidge better. But the main issue is that the performances kinda tell that the cast isn't reacting to her and that she isn't reacting to the cast. I solely place the blame on the direction and editing here. Editing because splicing these in a way that seems normal is a bit hard. But most of the blame lies on the directing. If THESE are the best takes, then it's the director's fault. Of course the cult will blame Notaro, because Zack Snyder is infallible. He loves his deceased daughter, therefore he cannot be criticized. All Hail Zack Snyder!!  
Also, love how the safecracker had to spoonfeed the audience the whole Götterdämmerung and its meaning... but Zack Snyder doesn't need to spoonfeed everything like those MCU hack directors... that's why you don't get it! Said the Snyderites as their main defense for the DCEU, yet here we are.

As always with Snyder films, what could be told in 2 minutes, Snyder takes 20. Slow-motion, characters posing as the camera pans on them, goddammit movie! Get to the point already!
Towers of the hotel are called Sodom and Gomorrah... real subtle there, Zack... any more pretentious religious references you want to add? Or is this the part where we ask the deppressed kid to get in the robot? No, Snyderites, this is not a jab at his dead daughter. This is an EVANGELION reference.
Gotta give credit to Snyder for the small anti-PC jab... because he's like SUPER LIBERAL. He said so himself, which is weird, since his movies do have a lot of Libertarian and Right leaning messages. My issue is not whether his right leaning tendencies are good or bad. My issue is how he cowardly calls himself a liberal while having conservative views in order to avoid the twitter mob. At least have the decency of calling yourself a centrist if you agree with things on both either side and disagree on others, or have the cojones to actually call yourself right wing.I may disagree with some of the things Kevin Sorbo has said, but I respect the man for not trying to pretend he's something he's not. But back to the movie... Damn you Zack Snyder for making me bring politics into a zombie Heist movie... damn you to Hell!! 

Ah the B-plot... wait that was Batista's daughter?
Geeta is missing! Dammit! I'm so making a K-On! Reference now... Batista's daughter joined the party... make your bets now, she'll be causing 99.4% of the problems to the point that Batista will die for her... something something, Zack Snyder's symbolism saying that if he could he would've traded places with Autumn... 
I know what you might say next: Nefty, you have said that Snyder has used his daughter's death to promote himself. How can you say this now.
I know I've said that. I still stand by it , but at the same time, I know of grief and to this day, If I could trade places with my Mom, I'd gladly do it without thinking twice. Maybe, I'm trying to believe that maybe we have something in common. Our love for someone we lost.

Gott im Himmel! Wo sind Siegfried und Roy!? We have a Zombie Tiger... not to be confused with 🍌🐅...  so creepy cop is an offering to the Alphas. Now we're getting modern feminism from Zack Snyder... am I in bizarro world?
The female Alpha Zombie is here... she's wearing a tiara and a red top with blue bottoms... feels like we need something here. 
Fuck damn the out of focus bullshit!! And the weird nod to WW lives in Olympus... a bit on the nose there, eh Zacky? 
I was joking about the WW reference...
Damn you Zack Snyder damn you to hell!!

So creepy guard is now a sacrifice to Alpha Zero... no, it's not a Street Fighter reference. Back to the main story. The team is walking past sleeping zombies that may spring into action... what are the rules here? If exposed to the sun they dry out, but come back to life in the rain. Some of them sleep while standing others walk around normally. We have normal zombies, super zombies, zombified animals... the rules are almost as nonsensical as keeping a Mogwai.
Wait, was Carrot Top a zombie?
And the first two victims aren't white... what a surprise... 

They reach a casino and Batista's daughter argues with the coyote. Now they discover they weren't the A-Team. The Gvt. Mole is gonna kill the coyote, just like Headband girl. I feel bad about Dave Bautista. The one protagonist role he gets is in a fucking Zack Snyder Zombie movie, that I swear is making my IQ drop by the minute... and I still got over an hour to go... gonna feel like 8. It's not like he's a great actor to begin with, but he's doing an adequate job here. I feel that he needs something better than a Zack Snyder movie... 

Safecracker loses his zombie killing virginity and now he's  super hard for the safe. So coyote and Judas summon the Alphas...
Geeta's alive!! Don't tell Yui!! Judas ties up not Wonder Woman and other Alpha attacks him until Coyote blows its brains off. Alpha zero takes one of the hostages. And holy shit, is this a Clash of the Titans reference mixed with Aliens? You're getting into Hideo Kojima territory by making references to works greater than yours, Zacky... wait... is this Humor I see? In a Zack Snyder movie!? Wait Zack Snyder trying to not so subtly imply that he wants to direct Resident Evil movies? Zombies, traitors, death trap puzzles, super zombies, and messed up animals. The only way this could be Resident Evil is if Leon saves the Redfield bloodline...  The US President in Army of the Dead might be Zack Snyder... he thought that dropping a nuke on the 4th of July would've been the ultimate fireworks display and kinda cool... because that's how Snyder operates. It's all about being cool instead of what serves the story. And now in Resident Evil fashion the protagonist has a short time window to escape destruction.
Alpha Zero has a zombie horse and now is pissed that de queen is dead. Don't tell me she was pregnant. Please God, tell me that she isn't pregnant. If she's pregnant, I swear... Wait did Batista's daughter just endanger the mission... KNEW IT!! German safecracker opened the safe... surprised that Snyder didn't use the pretentious Hallelujah here... They're Bruce Wayne rich!! And none of their mothers are called Martha!!

The Alphas are having a Zombie Lamentation...
A zombie Fetus... Damn you Zack Snyder damn you to hell!! 
You pushed my hand, Zack Snyder... a Zombie fetus...

Zombies are attacking and Alpha Zero has a bullet resistant mask. Meanwhile Batista's daughter is running alone to the Olympus, while all the Zombies attack the hotel where Batista is. And Sister Encarnación got her neck snapped comically... a 180 twist... guess she died without getting Batista Bombed... Judas finally betrays the team, but not only that, Alpha Zero is here... wait, Robot Zombies!? Damn you Zack Snyder damn you to hell!! Wait, are Alpha Zero and Man of Color going to fight Hand to Hand? Wait, did German dude just...
Judas got played!! Haha! And say hello to the Zombie Tigerr taking out the trash. Wait the zombie tiger is biting and clawing in does that mean he'll turn into a zombie or is that only reserved to human zombies biting a human? How do you even make a zombie tiger in the first place? I know I asked that before but seriously how? Ok Zack, I see you didn't want to go there. Would you look at that all the non-whites are dying here... The African American dude was locked in the vault, so his death will be slower and painful... meanwhile, Batista's daughter is still looking for Geeta as if she was Yui Hirasawa... oh look creepy cop is here. Coyote is stalling with de queen... I guess she knows de wae. I WAS WRONG. She got speared by Alpha Zero and she dropped the head.
Movie just hurry up and end already... seriously, the zombies on foot are moving almost as fast as a heli... damn you Zack Snyder damn you to hell!! Creepy cop killed a hostage.  Alpha zero arrived to the hostages before Batista? Bullshit!
I forgot, a Zack Snyder movie... Alpha zero pulled an Arnie and got to da choppa... wounded Tig Notaro, snapped Batista's arm... the nuke is coming and Batista was bitten. The chopper crashed and Vegas is no more.
The brat made it out alive. Tig Notaro died, seems that Geeta died too. Batista is put down by the brat... what bullshit is this? The dude got out of the cell WITH THE MONEY!? What kind of Indiana Jones bullshit is this!? I stand corrected, a non-white survived... wait is that zombie by The Cranberries?
And I undo my correction. He ended up being bitten...

What can I say about this movie?

Now, now Shao Kahn: You can't be critical of Zack Snyder... the man lost his daughter, don't you know? It would be devastating to know that he pulled another stinker here.

I have to be fair it wasn't Sucker Punch Bad, but it was WAY WORSE than Dawn of the Dead. Honestly I feel that had roughly 30 40 minutes of the movie could have been shaven off. As always with Zack Snyder lots of Meandering Bloodlines that go nowhere incredibly awkward dialog seems that drag ridiculously too long holy shit I discussing Zack Snyder or Tommy Wiseau? Army of the Dead is the Zombie movie equivalent of The Room... minus the charm of being the first movie made by someone who had absolutely no clue on how to make movies at the time... I'm talking about Tommy Wiseau...
Snyder had over 20 films/documentaries/etc. Under his belt by the time he made Army of the Dead. Yet, as a professional director, Snyder made a lot of amateur mistakes with this film. 

As I've said before, I was hoping that this movie wouldn't suck. Sadly I didn't get so lucky. Now the Snyderwhine-a-thon will continue, because no one was able to understand the artistry of his movies. 

If you hate Zack Snyder, why did you expect this movie to be different?

Because Dawn of the Dead was actually good!! And without any pesky source material hilding him back, I thought he would have done something good...

Well, he DID SUCKER PUNCH and that's 100% original.

Shit, you got me there... is it too late to change my story and say that I did this for the readers and how much I love them?

Too late and asskissing will get you nowhere...

Well, just avoid watching this... it's bad... JL Snydercut is a far better movie... hell, the animated owl movie is better than this. The studio cut of MARTHA!! is better than this. Metal Gear Survive is better than this. Hell I'd rather replay from zero death stranding than watch this movie ever again

May 26, 2021

Kevin Smith's MOTU "is Woke" say rumors...

 The thing is that aside the vintage mini comics and maybe the NU52 comics, MOTU has been somewhat woke. This is greatly in part due to filmation. So if Revelation is following filmation as a sequel series then it should have some wokeness.

Now with that said, what worries some people is that the show suffers from the way the wokness is done... by that I mean that it acts as a propaganda piece for modern wokeness above all else. Kinda like what's happening in modern Marvel Comics. Progressive messages aren't necessarily a bad thing. The problem lies in forgetting that this is a show to sell overpriced pieces of plastic shoddily put together for the sake of nostalgia. If the show doesn't captivate the audience, they won't buy the toys. They don't buy toys, show's canceled. If the messages are too preachy, people will be turned off by the show and the toys will fail. If toys fail, bye bye series. 

As long as kickass stories of battles between good and evil are delivered, progressive messages can be sprinkled in... as long as they do NOT become the main focus of the show. The main focus is to have a kickass show that sells toys. 

On the other, other hand, the existing race swapping of Lt. Andra, and the rumors of Teela being in a more important role has put people on edge. I'm trying to keep my expectations low.

As an added bonus here's a look at the Hot Wheels Land Shark... it looks pretty great and it's based on vintage, not Origins. Sadly Mattel didn't properly recreate the action feature. It doesn't chomp as it rolls. It has an articulated mouth  though...

May 25, 2021

Zack Snyder wants to make a porno...

 And a genderbent copy of The Wrestler with Amy Adams as a midwest housewife who starts bodybuilding and loses her family to her Canseco Juice obsession. He wants to take Amy Adams and pump her full of steroids so she can look like a bodybuilder...

I know... but it's the whole wanting to make a pornographic movie that has me like

Slow-mo, 4 hours long, with tons of plotlines going nowhere... some weirdly good looking visuals with a dark color pallette... Black and White version with 3 more hours of cut  content might be released later on. I can almost picture the Lesbian scene... or at least I can hear the soundtrack. Of course you'll know when the moneyshot is coming... pun not intended, because he'd most likely use the most pretentious version of Hallelujah to highlight it... you know, his dead daughter's favorite song. The one he used to film one of the worst cinematic sex scenes in modern era. Before the intellectually challenged Snyderites try to spin this as an attack on his dead daughter, it's not. I'm just calling out the bullshit of putting your daughter's favorite song on a cheap sex scene. Yes, I know he filmed Watchmen long before his daughter died. All I'm saying is that his attempt to gain pity points by mentioning that this specific song was his daughter's favorite after he had used it on a tacky sex scene AND on his Justice League teailer is messed up. 

I'm willing to bet that the only reason he mentioned the song was his daughter's favorite was because people mocked him reusing that song in the most pretentious way... after wasting the usage of the song on the laughably bad Watchmen sex scene.

And in order to show that he is not homophobic, Schneider will add I seen where a man is getting gang raped in prison and the raped guy is dressed up as Batman for some reason... because Zack Snyder.

He also wants to make a religious film but I'm starting to feel that this is just a ploy for him to get the attention he craves.

Should I watch Army of the Dead to make fun of it?

May 24, 2021

Odds and ends May 24 2021: Battle Cat and other mini rants

 I think that I may have a couple of Revelation Battle Cats (emphasis on plural)...

While I'm not exactly fond of the helmet shape, or the green color on him, the size of him is amazing!!! Look at him next to the classics Battle Cat... You can see my point. This new cat is huge and it makes a much more impactful difference between the classics Cringer to Battle Cat.

I have to wonder now how big are these Revelation figures in comparison to classics. I was a bit lukewarm about these but I don't know this but this Battle Cat like sparked something good in me. The kind of Spark that was missing with oranges, I can feel it here. As always my biggest fear is Mattel fumbling, which has been a very common occurrence in the past 20-plus years.

I haven't commented much on Thundercats. It's not because I like Thundercats less than TMNT. It's not because Super7 has been very quiet about it... it's just that there isn't much to comment about the line. I've already done their speculation thing on how to get the top characters as fast as possible rants. I've commented on why I am not balls deep with this line... I mean, there is very little to comment on without delving into a Neitlichian desperate rant... like Showing Mattel's plan to release Thundercats and holding Cheetara and Tygra hostage for 5 years, or having SNARF, YOUNG LION-O, and VULTUREMAN as sub exclusives... sure they would've been cheaper than Super7, but you'd have to get characters like Captain Cracker, Driller, or freaking Wollos... I don't remember the full line-up. Can't find the page and I'm sure as hell I'm not giving Neitlich multiple views.

Thing is that aside the delays, there isn't much to say about Thundercats. They're hitting most of the right notes with them. You can't go crazy with variants like MOTU or TMNT... 
Aside Nudist Thundercats, or maybe an episode specific variant, there isn't much you can do.
It's onvious that Super7 operates in hyper nostalgia, so 2011 versions are out of the table just as 2002 was for He-Man. They could do Thundercats Roar, but would it sell at Super7 prices? 

What's going on with McFarlane's Mortal Kombat and Witcher lines? With the Witcher, everything has gone silent after the release of Eredin Breacc Glas. And MK had more Spawn Repaints announced and that's it. So many characters available and all we are getting is Spawn repaints? Where are Kano, Sonya, Shang Tsung, a Johnny Cage repaint!?
I'd kill for Carl the Curtain Guy, Robocop, Rambo, and Good MK movie skins of Raiden, Sonya, and obviously Johnny Cage!
While we are at it any plans for a Tim Drake figure? I mean he's the last mission character from the bat family that is not Alfred. Also a lot of characters that are not part of the bat family would be very welcome. 

May 23, 2021

Making up themed TMNT variants: this time WITH Turtles

 Apparently people are digging the Non-Turtle variant idea post from a few days ago. So, while the stars align and I can get anough time to tackle the 1990 MOVIE NECA ACC.PACK (alt. heads are being a bitch.) Here's another not so random idea

Fantasy Warriors series

This wave has some D&D inspiration, among other things. I know that 2012 made a wave with the Turtles in a D&D inspired wave, but I want to take things further and not stick to purely fantasy theme...

Leonardo the Barbarian
I know what everybody's thinking Raphael is the one that would lend himself to be the Barbarian instead of Leonardo... my reason for Leonardo being a Barbarian is called Cam Clarke Reference... take Leonardo, give him a blonde wig, furry loincloth and boots. Give him a battle Axe, a Shield, a short swird and a broadsword. (Basically picture Leonardo cosplaying as He-man) he should have a second head without the wig.

Steampunk Alchemist Donatello:
I know steampunk and alchemy don't necessarily match, but the steampunk part is a nod to the Donatello does machines lart of the cartoon theme and Alchemy for the unnatural science aspects of the TMNT. You've seen steampunk characters, so you know what to expect on Donny. Maybe a badass Plague Doctor masked head in addition to a normal head.

Ranger Raphael
A tribute to Robin Hood. Tights and all. Despite being a "Western Archer" he should have a Japanese Longbow with arrows, in addition to a short sword and dagger for swashbuckling action. One of his heads must have the Robin Hood mustache and beard.

Mike the Bard
This role for Mike have two reasons:
The comedic character gets the comedic role being the first reason. The second reason is a nod to the infamous coming out of their shells tour. Give him some musical instrument themed weapons, some foppish bard clothes and coins to toss at Leonardo...

Sir Bernid Jones the Paladin
Picture a Paladin wearing clothes reminiscent of Casey Jones wearing Goalie padding. And the helmet has a visor resembling Casey's mask. The weaponry should be maces, war hammers, a glaive with a bent blade to resemble a hockey stick.

April the Spy:
Lazy answer: You know Sheila the thief from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon? Picture April in similar clothes, but in Yellow and white, because April.

Rocksteady el Conquistador:
Picture Rocksteady wearing Conquistador armor as if he was Ponce De León or something.
A Harquebus, and a sword would be his weapons. 

Dr. Krangstein's Monster:
Krang Android body has a few not-so-subtle references to Frankenstein's monster. The idea here is to throw any notion of subtlety out the window and have a blatantly obvious tribute to Dr. Frankenstein and his Monster... also, I want to have Krang wearing a monocle. The odea for the body is to make it look like it's made out of multiple corpses, both human and animal to give it its size.

Slash the Destroyer:
Being the antithesis of Leonardo the Barbarian he should look like the Faker to Leonardo's He-Man. (Second head should have a hood and a turtle skull mask as a nod to Skeletor)  

Cowboy  Bebop the Outlaw:
This one is a reference to the title of theanime with the space bounty hunters. Just picture Bebop in the gaudiest cowboy outfit this side of Woody and 1955 Doc Brown's idea of a cowboy with an optional a fistful of dollars poncho and metal plate. Also his revolver should be ridiculously oversized. Like Hellboy's gun.

Warlord Shredder:
Imagine Shredder as a Western Knight, evil, of course. Think Shredder meets the Armored Thulsa Doom... with a bit of Death Dealer tossed in for some good measure.

Captain Leatherhead:
This one is a blatant reference to Captain Hook, to the point that one of Leatherhead's hands should be made with a fake Pirate Hook attached to it. Yes, the idea that a gator is playong Captain Hook is completely intentional and something that Playmates would do.

Honorable Mentions:
Assassin Rat King: Basically a reverse Plague Doctor who spreads plague instead of mitigating the effects.
Sludge Golem Muckman:
Basically a Medieval version of Muckman... in brown, because he'd be mostly made out of shit
Dragoon Stockman: due to his flying ability, Dragoon seemed like the perfect class for Baxter.
Executioner Traag: the name says it all.

Neon Night Riders series:
The title is a nod to the alternate 2020 we never had. Obviously, the theme here is Cyberpunk/sci-Fi apocalyptic future type of thing.

His outfit and accessories would be HEAVILY inspired by Kaneda (from Akira) and yes, this is yet another Leonardo/Cam Clarke Reference.
Also the katana blades would be laser swords.

His outfit would be very reminiscent of 2016 dr. Brown. I'm going to get some accessories there would be a Bo Staff that would work like Darth Maul's lightsaber.

Think half Cable and half Zack Snyder's Knightmare Batman. Lots of big bulky guns and Laser Sai that kinda look like Kylo Ren's lightsaber.

He has a retro futuristic look. Think Flash Gordon crossed with the Jetsons.

Casey Jones:
A very Mad Max/ Hokuto no Ken look for him... Basically normal Casey Jones but with more leather on his clothing.

Something between an EVANGELION Plug suit and a Bubblegum Crisis Knight Saber look... with loads of yellow because April.

You guys are gonna hate me for this:
You know the tape outfit Milla Jovovich wears in The Fifth Element? Bebop Warthog Multipass!! Multipass!!

If you hated me for Bebop... Rocksteady is going to be worse. Zardoz would be the biggest influence here... I probably know what you're thinking: First Casey, now Bebop and Rocksteady... post apocalyptic future outfits tend to be a bit sexualized and often habe homoerotic tendencies.

 This one is rather obvious: black clothing and futuristic look to his armor with laser spikes and his helmet kinda looks like Kilokahn...
A second unmasked head reveals that Oroku Saki has Cybernetic implants that resemble those of CATS... As in ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!! CATS 

Before anyone thinks that I'm going for an android body variant, no. I'm going for something more European... the Android vody already wears a speedo and suspenders, so, my solution...

A Dalek-like walker, or in this case roller. 

Last time I made Slash a Skeletor/Faker to "match" Leo... This time, I'm doing something different.
Using MEGAMAN X as a reference. Fixture him I said he was a Reploid. Taking elements from X Zero, and Sigma. 

Rat King:
He looks mostly the same aside for his left Golden Hand... and a cybernetic implant that lets him download 320 Jigabytes into his brain.
Keanu references are the whole point of a Cyberpunk wave...

Honorable Mentions:
Mondo Gecko: think a BTTF2 Marty inspired Mondo with Hoverboard.
Splinter: a combination of Blade Runner and Total Recall elements on him to give him some tech noir feel. I kinda want to add Battle Angel style cybernetics to him as well.
Pizza Face: having him in a more Mad Max-look and heavily imply that he's a cannibal...
April was very close of being a Ruby Rhod parody (leopard print outfit with the paint roller hairstyle)

There is a reason why I'm mostly keeping to the same characters... they are the most "vanilla" and easy to put in new roles. For example it's easier to make a medieval fantasy version of Slash than it is for Sgt. Bananas. It's easier to make a sci-fi take on Rat King than it is for Walkabout... and yes I'm aware that I could make a Mel Gibson joke with Walkabout but I already used Mad Max for the futuristic sci-fi Casey Jones. Also I'm avoiding characters from the tune wave says I'm not so sure where is Super 7 is legally standing with them.

While I'm going a bit silly with the variants, I'm trying to keep some level of cool. Trying to avoid things like TMNTrolls, or gimmicky figures like talking Turtles or Mutations. In April's case, I'm trying to keep her cool, somewhat sexy, but not hyper objectified. April could've rocked the Leeloo Dallas tape outfit. 
Incredibly enough Splinter is really hard to get any variants.

In any case I'd like to hear about your crazy ideas. Feel free to post any comments and maybe if I get enough responses; I can pick my best choices from my readers.

May 21, 2021

Highlander reboot... shit! My Mom's ghost is so gonna be pissed...

 My Mom LOVED Highlander... except the animated series, the theatrical cut of the second movie, and the third movie was the weakest of them... I know it's bad to speak ill of the dead, but I can never forgive that she actually liked Highlander: The Source... a movie, so bad it was able to KILL the Highlander franchise...

Well, there's a reboot coming and the actor chosen to play Connor MacLeod is an interesting one.

Yes, Henry Cavill, the guy who played Superman under the direction of an incompetent and pretentious fool who doesn't get Superman... now that I got my Snyder sucks message out of the way, Cavill as Connor MacLeod is a pretty good match. We already know that Cavill is a talented actor that can pull off the gravitas required to play Connor. I also referenced The Witcher ask one of Henry Cavill's most popular roles, we know he can handle a sword.

I honestly think he is quite capable of pulling this off and restarting the Highlander Universe might be a good thing especially the original Universe had a really shaky continuity. And as much as this may cause my mom's ghost to become extremely pissed at me, I hope that this Highlander reboot do not reach the point of requiring a reboot of the Highlander TV series. Not because the series is something sacred that shouldn't be rebooted, bus for the reason that the series was the cause of the death of the movie franchise. This is extremely obvious in the fourth Highlander movie, Highlander endgame we're Connor MacLeod gives his life to Duncan MacLeod. So, sorry Mom, we don't need Duncan MacLeod to fuck things up again.

Now the queshtion ish who shall play Juan Shanchezh Villalobosh Ramirezh...

May 19, 2021

Making up non-Turtle Variants

 Super7 plans to go as all-in as possible with the TMNT variants. We saw Sewer Samurai Leo... so I'm gonna make up some variants of other characters kinda in the same spirit of the vintage line.

Bad Biker Bebop:
While Bebop already has a bit of a Punk flair. This one would be a tribute/Parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator... but using garish toy-like colors. My preferred combination would be the T3 Elton John Glasses, a Tech Noir Terminator jacket and shirt with the phrase Adios Turtles on the back blue Bebop pants and black shoes adding the T2 Grenade bandolier and a grenade launcher... 

add a second bebop head with a graying mohawk and beard fit for a curtain guy.

One Man Army Rocksteady:
If Bebop is a nod to Terminator, this Rocksteady is a nod to John Matrix, Rambo, and James Braddock soldier types. 

Think of a shirtless Rocksteady with an unhelmeted head. Second head comes with a Foot Clan Bandana. Beltfed machine gun, removable yellow vest similar to that of John Matrix, a sword sized Rambo knife (secret nod to Crocodile Dundee) and a Missing in action Flamethrower. Instead of his forest camo pattern on his pants use Tiger striped camo pattern. Maybe add a piece of burlap to give him a First Blood inspired poncho.

Like Bebop keeping the "rebel" theme, I tried to keep the "Military worshipping" theme on Rocksteady.

Swamp Stalker Leatherhead:
This would require a new head without the hat and a shirtless torso. He would be painted as if he was caked in mud.
Giving him a Bow and Arrow, a torch, a knife worthy of Crocodile Dundee and other silent weapons for him to stalk his enemies from the swamp.
It makes sense, for a humanoid gator hunter to make a Predator reference. 

Shinobi Shredder:
This would be a more "stereotypical Ninja" version of Shredder.  The "base build" would be Slice and Dice Shredder. His accessories would be: removable scarf. alternate head without the Shredder helmet, but with a mask matching the scarf. Alternate Oroku Saki head. Interchangeable shoulder armor (attaches at bicep) the options would be the S&D shredder blades and traditional Shredder blades.
The weapons would be from the Slice and dice figure, in addition to a pair of hands sporting claws (think SFII Matador ninja) 

As with the others, this one is keeping it close to the character...

Man of Mystery: Arnold B. Jones:
Basically, Casey Jones in a Tuxedo with "Bond styled" Casey Weapons. Alternate heads: one unmasked and one masked head with the American flag painted on it as in the Image TMNT #6 cover. This one still keeps the "action movie theme" that has permeated the past few samples... also, he would look nice next to a Ravishing Reporter (*nod nod wink wink*)

 My original idea was a McClane inspired Casey,  but that would be Barefoot unmasked Casey. This is the equivalent of Space Cadet Raph. As in the variant doesn't make sense woth the character.

Tough as nails April:
I originally wanted to have a nod to Ripley for April, because Ripley is badass. Problem is that her normal Jumpsuit blocked me for the non-underwear look for April. Then I was thinking of a Kill-Bill inspired April, but 2009 already did that... so, while looking at Mirage April, something went ding in my head...
How about T2 Sarah Connor as an inspiration.
Tank top, baggy pants, her hair tied to a ponytail... but changing her outfit scared me... then 

I searched the internet for boilersuit tied at waist... it led me to this

So, we tie the top of April's jumpsuit with the unrolled sleeves at the waist. That leaves her chest area that needs to be covered by a tanktop. Probably an Orange or Purple tanktop (as a reference to April Toy variants.) She'd have 3 heads:
Ponytailed, ponytailed with Aviator sunglasses, 80s perm (nods to 3 looks of Sarah Connor.) Give her a bandolier, some firearms and a katana (the last one is a nod to Beatrix Kiddo and the 2009 version voiced by Buffy)

I kinda wanted to make a Foot Soldier endoskeleton, but that would've been too on the nose Terminator reference.

The next set of variants is inspired on the stealth aspect from ninja:

Infiltrator Bebop:
This is a nod to Stealth Game operatives such as Sam Fisher and Solid Snake. Picture Bebop with a navy blue mohawk, Night vision goggles, camo face paint with a skintight "sneaking suit" 
The colors would be in tones of dark navy blues, purples and greys. Black should be reserved for accent pieces.

Here I am reversing the character trait. Rocksteady is the Army nut, but Bebop is the one with the military look.

Break-in Rocksteady:
He's dressed as a cat burglar. His accessories should be Cat Burglar themed. His colors should be blacks and greys. His second head should be one without the cat burglar balaclava on his face. The first head would be having a balaclava covering the entire thing... (not going to question the logic)

With Bebop being "the thug" but is wearing Rocksteady inspired clothing, I thought the reverse should be a thing.

Kagemusha Shredder:
You've seen Leo the Sewer Samurai? Now imagine Shredder in a 15th century samurai styled version of his armor. While the Spikes shouldn't be as flashy (as seen in Shogun Shredder) the rest of the armor should look borderline ceremonial. The Helmet should look super detailed and the mask should have the same level of detail as samurai masks. The armor should have color, since it's Samurai armor, but most of it should be muted and dark for the sake of the "stealth theme". 

Night Strike Casey:
 If you're thinking taking elements from 2012 Casey, then we're on the same wavelength. I like the hoodie and dark colors. Not the skates or the skull mask. The idea is to have a slightly different take on Casey with nods to other Caseys. The biggest differences would be his sporting goods weaponry.

Investigative Reporter April:
While Banana suit April often got the scoop while wearing a bright yellow boilersuit, the idea for this is for a "vintage inspired" version of Red Sky Toon April as a toy. Because the clothes used on the Red Sky seasons looked more like what a reporter would wear while snooping around than the Banana Jumpsuit.

I have a couple of ideas that won't make the cut because they're mostly jokes, or a bit too on the nose references... like a Completely black Shredder with red spikes and a red laser sword... a Krang in his Android body Bison homage, a Baywatch themed April, an Evil Dead/Splatterhouse Casey... a Splinter in traditional ninja gear and outfit with the accessories being based on Sho Kosugi's ninja movies. A Vigilante outfit for Ace Duck (obvious homage to Darkwing Duck with some Gizmo Duck elements in combination to his existing looks like Donald dressed as Launchpad design.)
 The already mentioned Foot Soldier endoskeleton,
Martial arts Bebop and Rocksteady, which would've been Karate Kid references. A Mr. B...Bop figure. I pity the fool who doesn't get the reference. (Yes, it's a normal Bebop repainted in Mr.T colors and with tons of additional yellow chains.) Stuntrhino Rocksteady, a parody of a famous daredevil whose evil kname can't be mentioned, because his estate will sue... I had a Hazmat suit Shredder as a reference to the old toon as well.

I had one for Slash, but he's technically a turtle, so he was left out.

Superman is getting a new cartoon

 And this first image is everything that is wrong with modern cartoons.

Clark Kent hanging out with his new underage friends, Jamal Olson, a nerdy black kid whose character trait is being the Best friend who has two dads. The other is Luis Lane, a gay Bi-Racial hyperactive kid. His dad is white, while his mother is Mexican. He often ends up sentences with Spanish words so we can remember he's half-Mexican, despite having a Puerto Rican mixed with Dominican accents when speaking Spanish...

Just kidding, but might as well be. Another version of Jimmy Olsen who is victim of Ginger erasure... also, why does Lois look like a 13 year old effeminate boy?

“This is the first animated Superman series in many years and we want to tell our Superman story through the trio of Clark, Lois and Jimmy — whose relationship dynamic will allow for rich, serialized and engaging stories as we explore their lives as individuals and their journey together as friends.”

And this is sounding like a redressing of Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra more than a Superman series. Yes, I might be overreacting to a screenshot and a quote, but that's literally what I do here. Also, a non-Snyder topic was long overdue. The show could actually be surprisingly good as it happened with Harley Quinn, but the "best friend squad dynamic" worries me. 

May 18, 2021

Remember Sucker Punch? Zack Snyder is whining about WB and his Snydercut of Sucker Punch...

 Of course he is because now that his Justice League is out and isn't going as well as planned, he needs to find a way to remain relevant. His tactics involve whining about Sucker Punch: the Snydercut or how he wrote 303... now with gay shit just to prove I'm not a homophobe but WB refused to make it... because they hate Zack Snyder and not that the second 300 movie didn't make it's budget domestically and barely made it past the 2.5 times production budget to break even unwritten rule. A $62.6 profit is not a big win for a studio. So it makes sense that WB would not allow Snyder to do anything with that... but back to Sucker Punch: Bigger, Longer and Uncut!

The trailer almost makes the movie good... too bad it isn't...

Snyder is crying about his director's cut still unreleased. It did get 89.8 million worldwide at the box office with an 82 Million budget... Let that sink in: it didn't even reach the actual budget, much less the 2.5 times rule... Why would WB bother to release a director's cut of a movie that failed horribly? But Zack has faith on him getting the rights back... wait, but shouldn't rights revert to him 35 years after release? Roughly in 2046... who the fuck would actually be claiming for Sucker Punch in 2046? The main cast will be in their late 50s-mid 60s by the time Zack can get the rights back...

While, I've thought that Zack Snyder is a joke for quite some time, he's pushing the envelope so far that even Dan Hibiki and Mokap are both ashamed of being compared to this joke...

I don't want Army of the Dead to fail...

 I know it sounds weird considering my massive dislike of Zack Snyder. But hear me out. I still believe that Snyder is a hack. I still think he's a deplorable human being for exploiting his daughter's death. I think he should be banned from directing any comic book movie that is not Todd McFarlane's Spawn. With that said, I really hope that the army of the Dead does not fail...  sadly things aren't looking good for him. This past weekend the movie didn't even reach the 1 million-dollar mark... when expectations were 1.5-2 Million. If this was a DC movie by Zack Snyder I would be gloating... but I can't. While he's no George Romero, he's... as much as I hate praising Snyder, he's OK at this genre. I wouldn't want him anywhere near a Resident Evil movie, but generic zombie movies and mild horror is a good spot for him.

This is the part where I passive-aggressively praise him. I will mention how is focus on slow mo edginess and violence are advantages instead of weaknesses. Or how his sheltered 13 year old boy maturity or should I say immaturity are beneficial to his style over substance approach. I obviously expect him to massively fail at giving social criticism as most zombie movies do, but he's very likely to deliver balls to the wall crazy zombie-killing action. Also most importantly having him focused on Zombie movies well make him spend less time bitching about what could have being at Warner Brothers on all of the other bullshit that he keeps spewing.
Sorry, had to get that out of the way... but back on topic.  As much as I love to make fun of him, his take on Dawn of the Dead is not a horrible Zack Snyder mess. Many, myself included would argue that James Gunn might have saved us from a Full Snyder... must resist urge to make a Tropic Thunder meme...

I'm well aware that this will sound up horribly weird especially since it's coming from me: 
Zack Snyder is kinda like the next George Lucas... and like George Lucas Zack Snyder needs to surround himself with people who can control and Leash the full Snyder. Both Lucas and Snyder have great ideas but their problem is executing them and telling a coherent story. Like George Lucas before him Zack Snyder is surrounded by yes people and the studio always ends up being the bad guy. I have a part of me that wants this to flop because it would love to see him whine about Netflix being an evil Studio like Warner Brothers... a bigger part of me wants this to be successful enough for him to be busy in other projects that do not involve comic books. 

I honestly don't know if I will watch Army of the Dead, because I don't want to support Zack Snyder in anything but on the other hand I kind of need him to be stuck making zombie movie instead of ruining comic book movies that are not Todd McFarlane's spawn.

The horrible Mortal Kombat reboot made roughly 22 million more and its first weekend then Army of the Dead. Now there's "no evil WB ruining Zack's vision" excuse. Where are the Snyderites and their support of Zack Snyder? Why didn't they make this a hit to prove that WB will lose money without Snyder? It's almost as if the entire Snydercult movement it's a tiny tiny miniscule almost microscopic sample of the movie going public.

The Snyderverse is not going to restore itself he keeps underperforming... if he can't even make a zombie movie series, then he is obviously far less capable than we knew. 

Seriously, I need some toy releases or something that catches my attention that is NOT related to Zack Snyder sucking...

May 17, 2021

AT&T seems to be trying to get rid of Warner Media

 This is a strange bit of news after the RAGING SUCCESS THAT WAS THE SNYDERCUT, WHICH PROVED THAT WB SUCKED AND THAT AT&T WERE GOING TO BE THE SAVIORS OF THE SNYDERVERSE... said Nefty as his mouth dripped with Sarcasm. First DirecTV, then Warner Media. Now AT&T is considering giving up on themultimedia empire and sticking to the Telecommunications lane

While the main reason I bring this up is to mock the Snydercult and their #️⃣restorethesnydurrverse this is a common thing. Mergers are a random thing. It's more likely to see them fail than win because usually both companies have different approaches to things and are likely to butt heads. IF WB was hellbent on not proceeding with the Snyderverse and the cult was hoping for AT&T to intervene, well looks like that ain't happening. It's almost as if the Universe is trying to tell Snyderites and their leader to 

But they won't listen, they'll double down on their stupidity and keep harassing WB execs.

High execs always make decisions that seem odd to the common folk. Whether it's because they have different info than we do, or are incredibly stupid... they will make decisions that will look odd to us. We see things they don't and viceversa. Despite WB being run by idiots, harassing them to get more Snyder WILL make them double down on NO SNYDER... just as Snyderites double down on their stupidity by claiming that Zack Snyder is a good director that every DC fan loves. 

If this whole AT&T dumping Warner ends up happening, there might be a chance of Warner dumping properties... The Comics Industry has been declining for some time, but is highly improbable that WB would ditch DC because they make their money by Merchandising. So, forget the silly dreams of WB selling DC to Zack Snyder...

May 16, 2021

Have you noticed the latest trend on defending bad movies?

 The movie is an origin story and setting up for the sequel. We've seen it with the DCEU and now Mortal Kombat. You CAN SET UP sequels, but the problem lies in bad plot points, huge plot holes, and other signs of bad writing that is being brushed off with the "this is settong up for the sequel" excuse.

Let's talk Superman. In MoS, Clark learns from Jonathan Kent that he must hide his powers from everyone and let people die if needed. Something that goes against EVERYTHING SUPERMAN IS SUPPOSED TO STAND FOR. People defended this with "this is an prigon story setting up for the sequel where Superman will grow into the Superman we all know".

Sequel came and he was still an angry, brooding stranger looking down on humanity that dies fighting Shrek. "He will grow into the Superman we know and love on the sequel"... in comes JL, the Snydercut, and what do we have? 

He comes back from the dead as a rage monster then comes back as the angry, broody Superman, but more willing to work with a team...  with ZERO character growth into the Superman we know and love... with no sequel since the DCEU is dead thanks to Zack Snyder and his stupidity. Three movies where we didn't get the Superman we know and love and the "promise of him growing into that role" never happened. In the planned Snyder sequels he was supposed to be Anti-Life Equation-ed into a Dictator Supes like on Injustice... Still not "growing into the Superman we know and love..."

 Say what you will about the "Josstice League", but at least it had signs of Superman growing into the Superman we know and love... but MuStAcHe...

Same thing happens in Mortal Kombat. Any criticism is deflected with:

ThIs Is BeFoRe ThE tOuRnAmEnT... 

It happening before the tpurnament doesn't cover the bad writing. The whole magic brand aspect goving them their powers isn't fixed with the "ThIs Is BeFoRe ThE tOuRnAmEnT..." excuse.

Whst would Jax's powers be if he hadn't lost his arms? Since Sonya killed both Kano and Mileena, does she have 2 brands now? What about Liu Kang? Or Kung Lao? Did Shang Tsung inherit all of Kung Lao's brands? What about Cole, did he get Goro's also? Wait... How can Scorpion have superpowers if Cole has his brand? Will the eventual revenants still have powers without brands? 

How can there even be a Tournament since the reigning champ is dead? Is Cole now the champion after that illegal Barn Brawl? Even if the movie was "BeFoRe ThE tOuRnAmEnT..." it doesn't make a lick of sense!

Having some loose ends to tie on a sequel IS NOT A BAD THING. The problem is justifying nonsense as a "loose end" when in reality it's bad writing.

Clark Kent having an internal conflict on fitting in this world is not a bad thing. Now having the Kents teach Clark to be SELFISH to the point of letting people die. That's not setting up growth for a sequel. That's bad writing.

Or Martha Kent telling Clark that he doesn't owe the world anything... sure she sends mixed signals by also telling him to be a hero, but the repeated message in Snyder's vision is you have powers, don't use them to help others, just save your ass. 

How does any of that fit with the idea of being a beacon of hope. A Shepherd to lead humanity into greatness? Should we talk about Zack Snyder's "love for Frank Miller's Batman"?

The movie adaptation ofFrank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns shows Batman being AGAINST GUNS! But in ZSJL, there was a teensy bit of character growth for Batman, but Whedon did it better. In ZSJL, Batman's sole reason to create the League is to stop Darkseid. He does have a bit of guilt for being partially responsible for Superman's death, but that's it. In the Whedon version it's all that but instead of Darkseid, it's Steppenwolf AND because 20+ years of crime fighting in Gotham are starting to catch up to him. This is not a suicidal Batman who is teying to die because he feels bad for letting Superman die (despite reviving him). It's a return to what Batman is supposed to be. The strategist. The guy who has plans for many eventualities. Him assembling the League makes sense, because the Kryptonian invasion showed that there's more than Earth out there and that the Earth needs defenders. Because Batman is a plain old normal human, he KNOWS he's not enough to stop whatever is out there. 

While Snyder was more interested in making Batman look Badass, Whedon was focusing on showcasing Batman's normal human status as a "weakness", that "rounds up Batman's  character". It makes sense that in a "more realistic and grounded" version of the DC Universe, Batman isn't going toe to toe and punching his way out of Worldbreaking level threats. A Batman that recognizes his mortality and weakness against the League, would be more inclined to develop the Contingency Protocols.

Sadly, both versions of JL failed DCEU Batman by not having a proper arc for him to grow from his Murder any Superhuman who could destroy the planet to create a team of heroes to defend the Earth from large threats both Terran or Alien... here I must blame Warner for rushing things. 

But to bring things back to my point... all the teasing and sequel baiting led nowhere, because now there is no DCEU and every time Zack Snyder opens his trap, he further kills any chances for the DCEU.

You can't deconstruct characters or subvert expectations when you're building a world. And another problem is that we have Directors, Producers, and other executives more interested in "leaving their mark" than doing the property Justice:
On the two examples I'm using, we have a Zack Snyder trying to leave His Randian obejectivist vision on the DCEU, despite the DC heroes not being objectivists. Trying to force a grimdark view of the characters, when most of the DC heroes tend to be light-hearted and optimistic, despite the dark situations they're put in. Superman is literally nicknamed The Big Blue Boy Scout, and SHAZAM the Big Red Cheese... Superdogs, Bat-Mites, Plastic Men, and Booster Golds are the opposite of what Snyder's selling.

On Mortal Kombat we have a studio mandated character that acts as some sort of wish fulfillment fantasy that robs screentime from actual MK characters and the story loses focus.
Focusing on "Before the Tournament" was a bad idea. I've already ranted on how MK could be fixed, so I won't go there.

New He-Man toys "for kids" shown...

 And they look like ASS!! 

I want to be fair, but the toys look like garbage! I know I'm sounding a bit too harsh but they look like Deluxe Happy Meal toys!

I mean, LOOK AT THIS BOOTLEG OFFICIAL FIGURE... this looks more like a Mexican Bootleg than an official Mattel product. Before anyone tries to turn my argument into an anti-Mexican racist rant, shut the hell up! I'm not insulting Mexicans. This is a jab at Mattel distancing themselves so much from He-Man and making a product that looks more like it was cobbled up from parts from different toylines and given a lazy, yet weird paintjob that doesn't look anything like He-Man should. It kind of looks like they threw a lot of crap at a Bruce Timm style Justice League figure. 

wait... Skeletor?

What's with the weird wasp face on his armor?
At least he resembles Skeletor a bit more than He-Man does... also, are they cheapening out on paint? Where's the nostril paint? Or the paint at the inner edges of his jaws?
This can't get any worse?

Battle Armor He-Man... what fo you expect to see when you hear that phrase?
Silver armor with the big H on the chest, a battle axe... well, no how about:

Battle Cat's armor on He-Man and carrying a sword that makes the 200x version Look elegant... wow this isn't as bad as Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra, it's REALLY BAAD!! 

Funny thing is that while these designs are not my cup of tea, they could look reasonable if they were made in a more realistic looking line... Masterverse, Origins, or even Classics. The overly exaggerated Bruce Timm inspired look for these don't help the designs much.

Sadly this new take on He-Man feels,  from a visual standpoint, like it's being made by people who are ashamed of being working on He-Man... hopefully this cartoon will not be as awful, from a writing standpoint, as Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra... but we better keep those expectations super duper low and I mean Zack Snyder making a good DC movie or Michael Bay making a good Transformers movie kind of low.

Upcoming MOTUO pics: first thoughts

 Pictures of upcoming Origins figures have surfaced so let me talk about them before I start cursing Mattel and Target.

The Goddess figure:

First let me get the bad news out of the way it's an Origins figure and a Teela repaint at that. They could've done something slightly different to make her not a Teela repaint.

The good news is she's not translucent .

I normally don't collect Oranges, but Webstor may be one of the few exceptions.

Based on the armor on this figure we know who will be a deluxe figure that will show up soon. Rumors say that he will stink of patchouli...

I'm probably getting it the for the armor, but I'm sure as hell going to be repainting this bitch! I understand that they had to make him different enough from the set released by powercon but this doesn't work. I'm aware that there was a concept for a red Beast character but again this one doesn't look good. He looks like an used tampon.

Oh God no Mosquitor has a sucking action effect...
Also, the head he's got looks a bit Yugoslav...

Fuck you Mattel, Fuck you Target...
The reason I'm angry because this is the biggest waste of money I've ever seen... we get a brand new battle armor He-Man which is exactly the previous battle armor He-Man but with vac metal... we get Battle cat yet again but this time with a few red stripes simulating blood... but the most offensive thing of all is they include a decent diorama with some Eternian fauna. They could have easily sold the diorama on their own and have collectors triple dip on them. (One for MOTUC, one for Oranges, and one for Masterverse) sadly this most likely overpriced set will be only available at Target so I'm basically SOL.

If you think this is bad, wait till you see what's coming on the next rant.

May 14, 2021

Hasbro Pulse is breaking my Mighty Morphin' heart...

 They're releasing Scorpina!! In a two pack with Aisha... (with the straightened hair look)

Read the news on Facebook... I hit Hasbro Pulse and what a surprise... Freaking Sold out...

With a Zeo Green and a Zeo Blue, I would've had the heads for most of the "replacement rangers"... Kat would have to get a Zeo Pink release for me to have her head...

But man, freaking Scorpina... that's like the last BIG gap not counting Finster, Squatt, and Baboo.

Luckily some third party sellers had some pre-orders available...