May 31, 2020

Why Mattel should make "MOTUC Compatible" blank bucks...

Mattel's MOTU efforts are on the Origins line. It has the mix and match options to customize characters from both MOTU and WWE. It's perfect for kids who want to make their own characters. Many Moons ago I suggested a Modular MOTU Figure. This time the idea is closer to blank Funko POPs or the "naked bodies" by Figma or Figuarts.
Naked Figma Nefty-kun
The idea is to get blank customizable bodies that fit the MOTUC aesthetic without being Actual MOTUC.
They could call it the "Artist series" or something that denotes that it's not exactly a toy to play with, but to customize and display. Maybe they could make them a bit more modular than MOTUC with them being unpluggable at the shoulders, thighs, heads, boots, waist, and hands.

The most basic bodies would be available at retail, like say:
Human Male: both Light skin and Dark skin. They'd come with 2 heads (featureless mask, bald generic face), 2 sets of feet (boot unitard and barefoot) 2 sets of arms (bare human arms, and cyborg arms).
Werebeast: Brown and gray it would have 2 heads (Bear and Minotaur for Brown, Wolf and bat monster for gray.)
2 sets of arms (normal fur and fur with spiked protrusions for brown and normal fur and fur with vestigial wings for gray) 2 sets of boots  (Hooved feet and normal beast feet for brown, normal feet and talons for gray)
For the females it would be something similar to the males.

More Deluxe versions would be sold online through an exclusive Website.
Examples: "Rainbow packs" with Red, blue, yellow, green, and purple bodies. The bare feet come in Light and Dark Skin tones for the Humans. Monsters are just rainbow versions of the normal monster.

The website could post tips and tricks for painting the figures, or patterns to make certaon cloth items.

Tribute figures:
Basically, Mattel usong theor own library to make Deluxe figures in this style. For example:
Classic Max Steel and Psycho. You get new parts lile Max's head, left N-Tek biolink, new boots, new harnesses for his body. For Psycho you get new right arms, new heads, new cyborg torso.
Or Skeletor and He-Man who would not be "MOTUC ACCURATE" They'd be new renditions with some old and new pieces.
Both would use the Beast crotch with new belts. He-Man  would use the beast lower legs with the "sock feet" skeletor would use new boots (that are part for the upcoming reptilian figures) with the Talon Feet. He-Man would get new head, harness, bracers, and weapons. Same thing for Skeletor and he'd get new arms from the upcoming Reptilian figures)

Once there's enough accessories from tribute figures and other ideas, they could do accessory packs.

That way Mattel can test the waters to see if there is demand for things like Matt Mason, or Street Sharks.

But Logistics is what will kill this idea.

May 30, 2020

Super7 Comic book Conan has finally shipped!

Finally, after what it seems like ages, Conan is finally coming home... speaking of which, Can Hasbro do a Marvel Legends figure of Conan?
Yes, shipping notices for Conan, the Barbarian, Destroyer, Avenger, but not former Governor of Kelly Fornia have been sent. I ordered mine on March 2, 2019 with the William Stout wave. So, it's been over a year since I ordered him. Right now, I'm a bit "meh!" about him. They made shortly after an Ahnuld Conan and a Thulsa Doom, that I skipped due to lack of funds... dealing with car troubles and reduced hours at one of my jobs (the one that funded most of my collecting money.)

Totally unrelated, but the nee Blogger interface sucks ass. Can't find the page break feature for long-winded rants for movies with heavy spoilers, or how to add links to articles that I normally use for odds and ends, semi related youtube videos without embed options... I had to use the Legacy Mode in order to post the link to Conan the Musical and that sucks...

Back to Conan. I think the reason I'm not overwhelmed with the fact that the figure is coming it's probably that he was an Impulse Buy. I wasn't really dying for a comic book Conan. He was more of a and what the hell I'll just get him because I'm buying the William Stout wave kind of thing. Currently I'm torn between reviewing him ASAP or waiting for Snake Mountain to do him filmation Adam and Stratos.

May 28, 2020

Odds and ends May 28, 2020: Laputa, Superman, and other stuff.

Well, I've been trying to find a copy of Laputa: Castle in the Sky with the first Latin American dub. Sadly whatever found is that most of the copies of the movie have the Spanish dub from Spain. Many years ago I had already seen Castle in the Sky, but it was the English dub the one where, colonel Muska was played by Mark Hamill and Sheeta was played by Anna Paquin. But this movie has a secret. The floating Island of Laputa has a darker meaning in Spanish... Thewhore Island= La isla de Laputa. 

This means that in Spanish speaking communities there have been a couple of memes about Laputa. Most of them involved Spain dub, I want the Latin American one for a personal reason. The Latin American dub, puts a bit of more emphasis on the Puta part of Laputa... this makes Pazu, the boy who finds Sheeta sound like he's REALLY TRYING WAY TOO HARD TO LOSE HIS VIRGINITY. And the voice actor is also the same one who voiced Ryoga Hibiki on the earlier episodes of Ranma 1/2.

It seems that Henry Cavill is back as the Man of Steel. WB had him sign up for some stuff. Personally I'd rather keep him as Geralt of Rivia... but if he's reprising his role as Kal-El I hope that they keep Hack Snydurr as far away from this as possible. Let's face it can pull off a decent Superman when Snyder is not directing. Also, WB hasn't gotten their stuff together with the direction they're taking with the DC universe. On one hand they want to move away from the Snyder disaster that wad the DCEU, but on the other hand, they keep dragging that rotting, festering corpse.

No freaking way... Josh Trank doesn't want to do a Trank4stic cut of his abominable 4 movie. That's a commendable move. I applaud him for that. Why submit the world to such torture off and even longer version of fan4stic.

Spider-Man is getting a new Funko POP. It's based on the 60s series. It's the infamous Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man meme. Comic book purists can use this as cheap Spidey clones for their POP collections.

May 26, 2020

It was the day where M. Bison came out of the Toy Chest... but for me, it was Tuesday!

Keep your own God, in fact you better Pray to him, for I beheld Satan as he fell frrrrrrrrommmm Heavenah LIKE LIGHTNINGAH!! Pax Bisonica and all that. GAME OVER!! OF COURSE!!! and that covers all the Bison references from Raul Julia... the man who despite beeng dathly ill carried the entire Street Fighter movie on his back.
Yes, Guile, we know:
Bison's ass is your!

 Bison is the main antagonist of the Street Fighter series starting in Street Fighter II. He's an evil dictator and leader of the shadaloo crime syndicate.
Bison: And I beheld Satan
as he fell from Heaven
like Lightning...

Since he's a Figuarts figure, right out of the bat we know he has great range. Most of the in game moves he can pull off. I've been having a bit of trouble to make the psycho Crusher. But it's doable; I still need to play with his arms a bit more. Since he has interchangeable arms his arms can drop off at awkward moments
Bison: And Christina Ricci played Wednesday!!
Chun Li: Just use the Tuesday quote...
Bison: But for me it was... FRIDAY!! It's  Friday! Friday!
Gotta get down on Friday!!

Paint and sculpt 
This Bison is closer to the Street Fighter 2 artwork then he is compared to the game Sprites. The paint job on my figure is pretty clean.

Open hands
2 flames
Smiling head
Set of crossed arms
Useless background
I feel like he's lacking something. I'm going to say the psycho powered hands and maybe a stand to pose him in the psycho Crusher pose. Even a cape for the intro pose would've been nice.
Bison: Who dares enter the chambers of General M. Bi-
The Rock: It doesn't matter what your name is, Jabroni!
It's time to layeth the Smackdown!
Bison: I'm going to Ki-
The Rock: Shut your Mouth and know tour role, M. Buffalo!

M. Bison gets a 4.5 as his final score. I feel a bit underwhelmed by the figure and I can't quite put my finger on it. Wild the storm Collectibles is not my favorite version of M.Bison, it feels like it's the better figure. But at the end of the day it looks like figures is the way you'll have to go if I want to complete the street fighter 2 roster

Avatar: The Last Airbender: a much better She-Ra than Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra.

There, I said it. Noelle's Bastardization of She-Ra is a really bad copy of Avatar: The Last Airbender. But why does Avatar: The Last Airbender works while Fake She-Ra fails?

Before I start, I need to point out that I had seen a few episodes of Avatar back when it originally aired, but didn't care much for it because it was faux anime. Also, I was in a Fuck Rufio phase. As you know, Dante Basco, Rufio, is the voice of Zuko, so hearing his voice didn't help my 00s weeb self. Thanks to a friend, I decided to give it an honest chance, just like I did to Fake She-Ra. I was so ready to tear this show apart worse than Lisa did Johnny...

Also, the episode before the finale pretty mucb did a great job of poking fun at itself AND the Shyamalamadingdong movie.

OK, so we have Aang, a kid who ended up in the future and has the potential to stop the Fire Lord and his Fire Nation who threatens the world. Aang is The Avatar, a mega powered warrior who has the power of mastering all elements.  He teams up with a pair of Siblings: Katara, a Waterbender, and Sokka, normal guy who relies on his non-powered abilities to fight. I guess you can see the comparisons...
The Avatar is obsessively hunted by Prince Zuko:

An exiled prince who is teying way too hard to impress an uncaring parent... also turns good in the end and becomes close with The Avatar...

I must also mention Zuko's Sister, Azula, who enters later in the series, but she's a psycho bitch, who manipulates everyone to do whatever she wants  also goes mad with power...

Toph is blind and the best character in the series.

The Best Friend Squad is a copy of Team Avatar and Frosta is a Great Value brand Toph... Catra is a combination of Zuko and Azula. Ty Lee and Mai are Kyle, Lonnie and Rogelio. Iroh is Scorpia. Fire Lord is Hordak, Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime... you get the idea.

Avatar had a LOT of Relationship stuff in it and it worked better than She-Ra. This was because the relationships were being nurtured in an Organic manner. There were no weird Shyamalamadingdong tweests on one sided relationships. (Also, on Network television over 10 years before Noelle's Bastardization, with some heavy restrictions that Noelle didn't have. And Korra was 4 years before...)

The Fire Nation WAS A REAL THREAT. Hell, they LITERALLY ANNIHILATED AN ENTIRE CIVILIZATION, the Airbenders. They virtually eliminated the Southern Waterbenders, with only the Earth Nation as their last big enemy... (and that one was being corrupted from within.)

Every battle had actual stakes and the good guys didn't always win. You had characters with shades of grey, that suffered for their actions. For example, Jet, who claimed to be a freedom fighter, but was willing to kill innocents to stop the Fire Nation. We have Zuko, who on one episode runs off on his own and helps a family from a band of soldiers who behaved like bandits. When they find out he's from the Fire Nation, they immediately turn on him.

Aang goes on his hero journey and struggles. The Guru episode was a tribute to Empire Strikes Back, but it didn't feel like a rip-off. Aang had to choose between achieving control of the Avatar state or his feelings for Katara.

Near the end, Aang had to choose between his stance of respecting all life, or killing the Fire Lord. He summons his oast lives to consult on what path to take.

Zuko's redemption arc takes its time as the pieces fall in place. It's not rushed because there are less than 10 episodes till the end.

It helps that the writing on Avatar is top notch MOST of the time. There are a few cringy bits of dialogue, but for the most part it's really well written. Even the Ember Island Play episode, which is a recap is pretty well written and the cringy stuff is on purpose as the showrunners poke fun at their work, theater tropes, and the clip show cliches.
Heck! The series is SO WELL WRITTEN that out of 61 episodes, the Filler episodes can be count WITH a single hand and there are fingers to spare.

The fact that it's an entirely original IP allowed the creators to be super diverse, zero White Characters and they pulled it off with VIRTUALLY ZERO BACKLASH... This demonstrates that diversity on its own is not bad,  but when FORCED by race swapping established characters, you get backlash.

The reason I'm bringing up Fake She-Ra, is because I finally realized what Noelle wanted to do if she hadn't been held back by the pesky She-Ra canon... she wanted a gayer (nothing bad with that, but using LGBTQ as a shield to deflect criticism is a load of bullshit) and shittier version if The Last Airbender. Can't fully comment on Korra, since I have no access to the series.

MOOOORTAL KOMBAAAAT! *Techno musoc intensifies* a Scorpion's Revenge rant:

The WB animated Mortal Kombat movie is hellbent on outdoing the 90s Live Action take on Mortal Kombat. Is it good? Let's see:
It starts with Scorpion promising Violent acts to be inflicted upon Daffy Duck. And that turns into an actual scirpion fighting a ton of ants. Yay insect gore! Wait, am I play by playing this?
It was a life lesson from Master Hanzo  of thr Shirai Ryu to his son... the usual setting up the soon to be dead family angle. The movie is subtitled Scorpion's Revenge. And we get to see some human gore thanks to some Lin Kuei assassins.

Finally Sub Zero (Bi Han) shows up with Scorpion's kid as hostage. Holy shit! They show the Kid's death! Sub Zero killed Hanzo, who we know will return as Scorpion and habe revenge.

Liu Kang BS we don't care about... Oh look, it's  Rayden... with Kyptic MK set-up... Moloch cameo.

Now some Johnny Cage bullshit, but since it's  Johnny Cage, I care about it. Did I mention that despite not being competitive good in Mortal Kombat I'm a huge Johnny Cage fan and I basically main most games with Cage, when he's available? Except Mortal Kombat Trilogy because Johnny Cage without his signature nut punch is not Johnny Cage. Ooh! Johnny Cage is a lovable loser, a has been who's trying to get his career back on track... Sprry generic Blonde chick, but his ass will belong to Special Forces Blonde chick... once the movie reaches her. Johnny Cage is my Spirit Animal.

Here's the Sonya Bullshit we don't care about... Where's Kano (reread Kano with the most over the top bad Australian accent you can make, mate!)? Oh look, woman rising up to army sexism trope flashback that will give her a second wond against the giant man who pounded her before the flashback. Can't we have a Female soldier be tough without relying on that overused trope?

No Kano? Only a pronoun game reference to him?
Hanzo woke up in Hell, where they cover your dick and balls with loincloths... Nice Moloch kameo... and he's dead. Now the demons want to dance with Scorpion... I'd play D1E1S1 but too lazy to look for it on YouTube. While keeping the Doom refernce going Quan Chi is the voice of Samuel Hadyn on Doom 2016... We get the Faustian pact between QC and Scorpion...

And Johnny Cage is being a lovable loser... Sonya is playing tough chick who needs no man... and Liu Kang is Weee-oooh! Sorry, wrong Chosen One reference. And Rayden is being Rayden. Seriously, this is why I fucking love Johnny Cage.

Despite the animated feature being more faithful to what games had stated for Mortal Kombat. So far this movie has made me appreciate the first live-action movie a lot more. Despite the changes Paul WS Anderson had to do due to lack of lore, his movie was a lot more faithful than previous game based movies.

Kameos everywhere... was that a Jab at Street Fighter? Oh look, Nitara wants to bite Cage... and Shang Tsung made a magic Power Point presentation on Mortal Kombat. Scorpion is stealthily infiltrating by killing everyone in sight at least he's not yelling: "get over here!"after he shoots his kunai with chain.

Finally Kano shows up, and Jax is some sort of Hostage? Also, Sonya freaks out by seeing Goro but she has not seen all the freaks that we have in this place!? We've seen tartakans we've seen Lizardmen, we've seen vampires WITH BAT WINGS!! A FREAKING CENTAUR, but no: The Four armed giant is what freaks her out.

Raiden interrupted Scorpion before he steals the medallion Quan Chi asked him to steal.   Also Jax just lost his arms. It has begun!!  First match is Johnny Cage vs... this better not go straight to video 4th wall breaking joke for a straight to vifeo animated film. It appears to be a Tartakan warrior, could be Baraka. Johnny Cage wins: Dumb luck... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

FIGHT 2 is Sonya vs Reptile. Really that what's the most Johnny Cage you think you could ever say, Sonya...

Fight 3 was Scorpion vs Lin Kuei generic ninja... bleh.

Fight 4 is Liu Kang vs Kitana. Liu Kang wins and promises Kitana he will win because he has Hope.

Fight 5 is Raiden bickering with Shang Tsung and Quan Chi... no one wins.

Team Earthrealm is rejoined. And Johnny Cage is throwing some mad shade at our favorite Narnia king, the Scientologist midget (who is as tall as I am).
And we get the movies first official nut shot and it's not a Johnny Cage ball buster... Johnny Cage himself gets kicked in the balls. What The Hell movie do you even Mortal Kombat?  thanks to Johnny Cage Team earthrealm makes a truce with Scorpion. Raiden further explains things for Johnny and Sonya. Liu Kang touches a raw nerve on Scorpion and ended the truce... For once, it wasn't Cage, the one who fucks up!  Another nut shot towards Mister Cage...  do you even Mortal Kombat?

Black dragon ambush thwarted by Scorpion. Now Team Earthrealm has a chance to show their stuff. And they just Sokka'd Johnny Cage. Sub Zero stops Kano and Scorpion gets triggered and goes all REVENGE!! Mode. He ends up falling off a Kamikaze move by grabbing Sub-Zero and jumping off the pit. Johnny Cage is no longer my spirit animal.  And Quan Chi revealed his deception to Scorpion.

I call bullshit on how Sonya defeated Motaro! Thabks, Motaro for defending yourself... Liu Kang fights Goro as Quan Chi, Shang Tsung and Raiden watch.

 Johnny Cage saves Sonya, kicks monster ass and one shots Motaro...  it's still bulshit but since it's Johnny Cage I'll allow it. (Not because of "sexism",  but canonically, he's one of the strongest warriors of Earthrealm)  and finally Johnny shows off his trademark move. A notion is fans at the awesomeness that is Johnny Cage and Sonya is moist.

Cage and Sonya save Jax after beating Kano. Back at Shang Tsung's throne room, Liu Kang is getting his ass kicked.
Scorpion just saved Liu Kang's ass. Now Shang Tsung is oulling the same deal as Quan Chi to trick Scorpion into winning for Outworld.

Liu Kang Won!? Now Shang Tsung wants to fight and Raiden basically makes him his bitch without lifting a finger. Scorpion has Quan Chi to himself... REVENGE MODE ENGAGED!! Scorpion gets revenge.
Sequel set up and the end...

 it was a decent movie that told a strange retelling of Mortal Kombat 1. DID I love it? No. The thing that bothered me that it wasn't faithful to both Mortal Kombat timelines. I know I said that it was more faithful than the Paul WS Anderson movie, I still stand by that, but  it's that some things simply didn't click with me.  (Probably my continuity purist die talking) I did enjoy it for it for what it was.

May 24, 2020

Thr gates have opened and the stuoidity has begun... thank you Hack Snydurr fans... thank you VEEEEERY MUCH!

I mentioned that release the snydurr kut would have repercussions... now we're getting more petitions to release other director cuts to bad movies.

Starting with Paul Feig and his Bastardization of Ghostbusters. Of course the narrative remains unchanged that the movie flop because misogyny and not because the movie was actually unfunny crap. But still, a 3.5 hour cut of this unfunny crap! Save it for Guantanamo, Satan!

There is also the Ayer cut of Suicide Squad, darker and with more scenes of alleged pedophile, Jared Leto. At least Ayer is being realistic about it.

While Warner sees the release of the Snyder cut as a stunt to boost that HBO Max subscriptions, it's a double edged sword. Now "fans" and directors think they can pressure studios into doing what they want. They're comparing the Snyder cut to the Sonic redesign, when they are not similar.

Sonic was a fan movement with a concern that somehow was heard, considered, and accepted, which led to the delay and the changes made to Sonic's design. It was mostly relegated to YouTube videos and memes about how ugly the official first design was.

The Snyder cut was a dirty campaign that painted a mediocre director as a Jesus-like figure who was betrayed by DC and Warner. Where Snyder's apostles would spam boards, facebook pages, instagram posts asking for the Snyder cut. Warner constantly denied its existence or any plans for release. It was even called a harassment campaign. They even hijacked posts about Kobe Bryant's death to spam the Snyder Cut. With Warner "caving in", they are validating spamming and possibly harassing campaigns to prosper.

May 23, 2020

"Snydurr Kut" won't get any reshoots...

And now Hack Snydurr will have to make do with his incomplete raw footage. He didn't get to film stuff with Martian Manhuntet, who allegedly played a big role. There were Lanterns involved at some point, and other things that can't be shot and were part of "his vision". So he will have to edit a buttload of stuff in order to have a coherent movie. In all fairness, Snyder has always been terrible at telling a coherent story. He can do some cool visuals, but storytelling? Not his forte.

Basically all he's allowed to do is to complete the visual effects on what he already filmed get the movie scored and do some ADR. The final product will NOT BE A POLISHED PRODUCT. Don't expect a masterpiece that will revive the dceu. Don't expect a movie that will blow the salvaged Justice League by Whedon out of the water. Keep your expectations at a Uwe Boll level.

Seriously this movie was supposed to be the first of a two-parter. Watch how Zack Snyder will try to cram the two parts into one movie, even if it makes no sense. If I were to watch it, it'll be once it's "complete" and there's a free trial for HBO Max... or watch it at a friend's if they have HBO Max.

More Marvel Legends stuff...

I didn't  think big enough on my previous exclusive list for  Hasbro pulse...
That's a leg for a Sentinel. Not sure if it's a NORMAL Sentinel, or a Mastermold. But, holy shit! I wonder how much will he cost...
This Rogue is supposed to be paired up with a Pyro figure. It's not exactly my favorite look for Rogue but I may need a Pyro so I'll have to suck it up.
If you have an Old Man Logan and a Spider-Bitch you are going to need an Old Man Hawkeye. I honestly don't care for the Old Man Logan universe so I don't really care for Hawkeye.
And last but not least we are getting Thanksgiving man...
Okay it's most likely that this figure is a Sebastian Shaw...

 I'm going to say it and Hasbro should totally consider making a pulse exclusive White Queen Emma Frost:
 they literally have all the pieces it would require zero new sculpts:
Walgreens Emma heads and feet.
Typhoid Mary torso
Shuri cape
Normal female arms and legs

I mentioned this to have Emma as a pulse exclusive in order to avoid issues with moms claiming that they're trying to pervert little Timmy with a Victoria's Secret model; despite the already released Walgreens figure being a bit off an underwear-ish kind of attire.

May 22, 2020

Marvel Dropped oics of the entire Spidey retro wave... My wallet has been Uncle Ben'd.

Damn, it's even better than expected, but I have some bad news: Kingpin and Mysterio are not part of the wave. they are single releases sharing the Spidey retro theme but not related to the wave.
The figures we are getting are:
 Spider-Man, Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker, Classic Green Goblin, Classic Electro, and armored Daredevil.
Pretty much every figure is a must have for me!
 armored Daredevil is one that I've mentioned a couple of times. A classic looking Green Goblin and Electro. Goblin has a Norman head!!! 

Thinking of getting a Body Kun and Body Chan and customize their necks to make a Sins Past Gwen and Norman...

This seemingly deluxe Warmachine is floating around the net... please let there be a Modular armor Tony.  

Also, there is a white armor Moonknight.

Why the Snyder Cut is a bad thing:

This is not a rant about the quality of the product, but to talk about the bullying campaign by Hack Snydurr fans and Snyder himself stoking the flames of harassment towards moviegores, critics, DC, and WB.

Of course they will paint this as a crusade by followers of a director who was wronged by a greedy Studio. In reality, this story is of an egomaniac director, who lacks an understanding of the projects he had undertaken. His premise was literally a deconstruction of superman and the DC Universe, rather than making a Superman movie that laid the foundation of a cinematic DC UNIVERSE.
With that said, Snyder is one for wasting money by making 3 hour, 4 hour movies, when the studio wants a 90-minute to 2 hour film. By not properly understanding the characters and being more interested in making them dark and edgy, for the sake of being Dark and Edgy; mistakes were made.

Warner is no saint in this story either. In their greed to fast tracl movies for dat Avengers money, they kept Snyder on until MARTHA!! Backfired on them and they had a Giant Martha hole on the S.S. JLA movie. Snyder wanted to keep ramming the ship into the iceberg, while WB wanted to reach the nearest port for repairs. Luckily for WB, tragedy struck the Snyders and they replaced him with Joss Whedon, who was more than willing to incorporate the demands by the studio, while delivering a product on time, despite having to reshoot about half the movie. Whedon tried to salvage as much as he could, while appeasing Warner bros.

Now Snyder is going to blow $30 million more on a movie that might be EVEN WORSE than Whedon's frankenJustice League. This is not a Fix Sonic's design, because ths6 current one looks awful kind of deal. This is a "Waaaah! Ruin Johnson didn't do the Star Wars movie I wanted, change it!" Kind of thing. Now that WB has caved, what's next? The Undoing Last Jedi, or do they take it all the way to Episode VII and Kathkeen Kennedy's head on a pike?
Undo Dark Fate? Rambo V? Final Fantasy VII Remake? The Last of Us 2? Scrub Queefer Sutherland out of MGSV? A Team Jacob Ending for Breaking Dawn? Erasing Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra? Where does it end?

May 20, 2020

TOP ITEMS that could be Hasbro Pulse Exclusives: (Marbel Legends, SW: Black series, Power Rangers Lightning Collection, GI Joe Classified)

Boredom during Quarantine can make me a dull boy...
I have a couple of Legends to photograph and review, but life has thrown a couple of curveballs in my direction.

As an Essential Employee, I haven't been able to be at home as much as non-essentials. Local laws and curfew have forced me to do chores and errands in my downtime, and let's be honest: I've been watching a bit more anime than I used to... well not just Anime but TV in general. Also Super Mario Maker 2 and Final Fantasy 7 (the real one) aren't going to play themselves.

Also to celebrate the Putties, I'm going to make a list of items that could be considered as Hasbro pulse exclusives.
It could be single figures, multipacks, vehicles, or even an entire wave of characters. Some of the items mentioned on the list could work as retail release others are a bit too weird or Niche to have a retail release.

Star Wars: The Black Series:
I'm starting with Star Wars, since it's the smallest of lists.

-Luke with Tauntaun display base:
Well, I know the Black Series already released a Han Solo with Tauntaun 2 pack. Please notice I mentioned the words display base and not 2 pack.
From a tooling point of view, if they still have the Wampa and Luke molds, then only the Tauntaun display base is the only part that requires new molds.  Since they already have made a Tauntaun, they would need to scan their existing Tauntaun and modify the sculpt to accommodate the Luke Figure slipping inside of it.

-Jar Jar Binks:
 I know everyone hates Jar Jar Binks. I do too but we kind of need it a black series Jar Jar Binks... especially since the sh figuarts Jar Jar Binks is still missing in action. And let's face it not everybody wants a Jar Jar Binks. So while he's important for prequel displays he's not a must-have character for everyone, hence his spot on this list.

-Phantom Menace Queen Amidala:
I know we got an attack of the Clones Padme Amidala but I'm talking about The Phantom Menace Padme Amidala. While she could sell at stores, making her a pulse exclusive can allow Hasbro to Spruce her up a bit and not be stuck with "wave limitatioms".

-Rise and Fall of Anakin Skywalker 3 pack:
My original plan was a Darth Vader vs younglings multi pack. But apparently, that would be a controversial set.
 I took that idea and tinkered around with it until I ended up with little Annie from Phantom Menace they're young Anakin Skywalker from episodes 2 and 3. To complete the set a Darth Vader figure from the end of episode 3 to episode 6.

Well Anakin sported different hairstyles in episode 2 episode 3 they're closing remain pretty much the same so having three heads for the adult Anakin Works rather easily. Also the only new tooling required would be on the child Anakin because the other two figures already exist.

GI Joe Classified:
The items here are mostly reduced to VARIANTS that the main releases haven't touched.
In reality this list is literally shorter than the Star Wars Black Series because we only have a single wave of releases.

-A V1 inspired Roadblock: (or Sunbow ARAH s1 look)
The upcoming roadblock from wave 1 is based on the second version of the roadblock figure... white shirt, green vest, carrying the Once a Man Cobra Commander.

I would apply the same logic for most characters that end up getting non- ARAH looks.  Like say for example Shipwreck: the main retail release is very likely to get the Navy SEAL Shipwreck with his beanie and looking badass.
Hasbro pulse could give us the Village People reject Shipwreck.

-Commando Snake Eyes with Timber:
I'm well aware that a snake eyes figure would easily sell. Also a commando-style snake eyes would not be that much of a difference from the ninja snake eyes, aside the Head. I chose to add Timber as a special accessory in order to entice people to get this Snake Eyes as well.

-Spirit Ironknife:
He is a bit of a controversial figure. While he was made to add diversity, this was done in the 1980s, when 2020 sensibilities didn't apply. he borders the line between okay representation and a stereotype. Soul to avoid issues with him being a retail release having a massage pulse exclusive would bypass most of the complaints, since to order the figure online you'd have to be an adult with a credit card to make the purchase.

-Sgt. Slaughter:
While I hate the idea of him being a website exclusive, I believe this might be the only way to get one without conflicting with Mattel's WWE line. This would be similar to NECA selling Retail 7 inch TMNT while Super7 does their 7 inch TMNT as online exclusives. Sure there are some slight caveat to the art style choices with NECA being based on the 1980s cartoon, 1990s movies and video games while super7 is based on their vintage 1980s-1990s toys. I suppose the GI joe stylized stylr wouldn't interfere with Mattel's Realistic and Vintage MOTU styles... after going through the WWE and Sgt. SLAUGHTER  legal red tape

-Trouble Bubbles:
 it's a small one-person vehicle and very iconic in ARAH imagery. Why it might be harder to get a larger vehicle for the Joe's the iconic Cobra trouble bubble would be manageable. Toss in a Cobra Trooper and people can buy multiples without any issue.

Lightning collection:
Before I start this list: it's VERY Likely that Mighty Morphin era will dominate:

-Bulk and Skull:
 despite being mighty morphin era characters these two wouldn't do well on retail. But they would go well with the next idea.

- teenagers with attitude:
 I'm a sucker for secret identity figures. And let's face it, Power Rangers NEEDS the civilian counterparts... especially if you bought multiple putties.
This would allow Hasbro to give us a true Green Tommy Head. Best part is that some outfits that certain rangers have used are similar to clothes other rangers have used as well.  Jason, Zack, and Tommy have used Tanktops. And T-shirts...
Rocky, Adam, and Billy have used buttoned shirts. So, you can get creative with part reuse. Like say:
Green Tommy uses the tank top. So does Zack, but he gets a jacket/hoodie overlay.

While the Female Rangers are slightly more difficult, most of the limbs could get part reuse.

 The hardest part would be picking show / movie accurate outfits that could have mix and match parts with other characters.

Ninjetti 2 packs:
 this would be in 1990s movie Rangers looks.  and it would be basically that 1990s armored movie look and their ninja outfit counterparts. Since the movie Russians didn't use their power weapons that's less accessories than the other standard figures.

"Human-looking" or Silly looking villains:
Not all villains have this Toyetic look, like Goldar, Lord Zedd, Mesogog.  they are villains like Elsa, Finster, The royal family of the Machine Empire, Divatox  that may or may not be pegwarmers If released on retail.

- a Ninja Turtles Next Mutation 5 pack:
Once they go over all the red tape regarding these guest characters. Neither NECA, nor Super7  are likely to do Next Mutation versions of the TMNT, so if we were to get a single chance to have Next Mutation versions of the turtles having them compatible with Power Rangers would be a nice touch.

-Ryu and Chun Li Ranger form:
Legacy Wars has Ryu and Chun Li as Power Rangers. Hasbro made them Transformers for crying out loud.

Marvel Legends:
This is the big one, the main focus for The House of Rants... This was the line that got me back into collecting for real. Heck, I came back to Legends long before MOTUC was over... also Hasbro had improved their 6 inch figures compared to their first offerings.

-New New Warriors set:
Whether you hate them or you loathe them, they are a (horrible) piece of Marvel History.
Since they would be horrible pegwarmers at retail, a Pulse release makes sense for them.

-Dan Ketch Ghost Rider (Legendary Rider):
The ToyBiz Dan Ketch has a decent Bike, but I know Hasbro could surpass that bike.

-Amazing Spider-Friends 3 pack:
Like the ye' olde TRU Marvel Universe set, where Firestar was the brand new character, this set would be similar.

-Clone Saga multi pack:
I know the Clone Saga is not exactly popular, but there are some characters that could benefit from being made.
The set would be Ben Reilly: Spider-Man (based on the superior octopus body to match the retro series Spidey),
Kaine in his 90s look, Judas Traveller, Chakra, Scrier (with extra Norman Osborn head)

-Stark Armory displayset:
Basically, a boxset with 3 Ironman figures that looks like Stark's armory. If you open the box set and pull out the figures, you'll find inside enough pieces to assemble a larger Armory to display more arnors in an armory diorama.
The 3 armors to include in the set would be Extremis, Silver Centurion and Modular armors.

-Great Lakes Avengers set:
Mr Immortal, Dinah Soar, Big Bertha, Flatman, and Doorman. While Big Bertha may be a "BAF type", Flatman is an "accessory type" also, Bertha's lower torso and limbs could be reused on Blob.

A nice chance to fix an "early Hasbro ML mistake". A guy named the Blob because he's fat is "offensive" in 2020... according to idiots Social Justice Slacktivists.

-Blackheart and Shuma Gorath 2 pack:
A Demon and a Lovecraftian Abomination that were made popular by a 24 year old fighting game do not scream Retail release.

Hack Snydurr will now "release" his "just is league"

In "2021" for HBO Max... The "Snyder Cut" of Justice League will be made as an HBO Max Exclusive. This is the part where I say that I will have to eat crow because it exists. IF they do release it, I'll eat crow. They are still in talks with a non-specified 2021 release. I'm half expecting it to "suddenly vanish" or some sort of "accident" that makes this "ashcan copy" to disappear from public view before being "released".

But assuming it does come out it's going to be

Right you are, Mr. Uh, GoldBLum!?

The Snyder cut is "the culmination" of Snyder's "trilogy".
So, we can expect all the Snyder bullshit we've seen before, but at a much "larger scale". Despite it potentially fixing a small Barry-sized plothole In MARTHA WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!? the movie, it still involves Time Traveling to stop a super, no mega powerful villain that the League couldn't stop. Instead of the Gems being the McGuffin, chances are that it's Lois. Casuals will claim that Snyder ripped off infinity war/endgame.

I honestly don't know how much damage to the DCEU the Snyder cut will do. It would be better for Warner and DC to NOT let Snyder ruin their heroes anymore. The time for a reboot is now.

But the only positive about this will be that when it comes out and sucks donkey dick, hopefully it'll open the eyes of many Snyder dickriders...

May 19, 2020

Hasbro Pulse has a Putty Pattroler 2 pack...

I kind of wish this was a mass release, but it is what it is. I pre-ordered a set because I need more than a single Putty patroller. It's cool that we are getting a putty patrollers to party patroller 2 pack but at the same time making it a website exclusive is a bit of a pain. If it was a widely available said I could easily get two sets, which would have made 5 putty patrollers counting the single ones from the Tommy two pack. So I guess I'll stick with 3 putty patrollers and hope for the Zedd versions a bit further down the line.
 here's a picture of the Box because it's a picture of the box.
I see you can see there's no real difference from the previous putty patroller. Maybe they yellow hit effect blast would be the only real difference. But at least we are getting additional putties without the need of having to buy additional Tommy's.

Once again if you want to get this set you have to buy them straight from Hasbro pulse.

May 18, 2020

What would Make a great She-Ra show in my eyes:

I've criticized the recent Netflix experiment during its run. Some people claim it's an unfair criticism because I'm not gay. Others just call me a bigot because I've called out the bullshit argument of using "minorities" ,"fat people", "LGBTQ" as criticism shields. Others simply try to apply 2020 values to a 1980s cartoon to call their subpar 2018 toon superior. Being a "good gay show" does notnecessarily mean a "good She-Ra show". But that's not why we're here today.
We're here to discuss what would make a Great She-Ra show for me:

-Respect the source material:
The biggest problem with the Netflix experiment was that Noelle Stevenson took a massive dump on the source material, chaged it beyond recognition and made something completely different whose only similarities to the REAL She-Ra is the names of the characters.

To my understanding, She-Ra's origins are currently in a murky situation. Since She-Ra and He-Man are different IPs with shared elements and some of those are Mattel property, there's a slight issue here. Hence the Experiment had to use a He-Manless origin.

IF POSSIBLE, the He-Man's twin sister origin should be used. If that is not possible, have Grayskull be the name of the first owner of the sword. Just so the Transformation  phrase makes sense. Also, no time displaced First One baby Adora, please.

The Evil Horde is Evil! The core members should NEVER defect from the Horde. The only one who plays both teams is DoubleTrouble... who is not a genderfluid lizard monster.

Despite having support from Different kingdoms, the base of the Rebellion is The Whispering Woods.

As long as the core aspects of the universe are treated woth respect, there shouldn't be any issues...

-The War for the Etherian Liberation should be the main focus of the show: 
The show should aim to inspire girls to feel empowered. That even in tough situations, girls can get things done just as well as the boys. Teamwork, friendship, tolerance, and acceptance. All of these MUST be done under the main story arc, which is: the Etherian Rebellion stands up to fight evil Space Nazis. Sleepovers, Proms, Beach episodes should NOT BE PART of the series. While relationships among characters MAY DEVELOP, they are NOT the focus.
You could get a scene or two with say, Josh and Glimmer sharing a potato salad or Bow and Adora put in an awkward situation. Perhaps Sea Hawk and Crimson Rose's very Macho handshake lingers a bit too much, but it will not be beaten over your head so you can ship them.

Also, being capable of having the Good guys LOSE battles. It is a bit boring if the good guys are going to win in the end. You can't always win, is an important lesson to teach, just like, despite knowing you're going to lose, you HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

-changes to the characters must be justified with story reasons and not to fill PC check boxes.
Muh Diversity is not a reason to change a character's race, gender, or sexual orientation.
For example, want to make an Asian Glimmer, well Bright Moon better be turned into an "Asia-like" country. Want to make Mermista a "Pacific Islander", better have a Pacific tribal look to Salineas. If not, then you can Add a character of a different race, but there must be some justification. If you want to add more black characters, then there must be an area in Etheria, where the population is predominantly black and they'd have some cultural symbols, attire, markers, signifiers that these characters would have in common... just as every region would. In the example I used, I mentioned black characters. I'm not asking for African tribal designs on every black characters. I'm asking for a sign that can Identify them as members of a certain culture or creed:
 a different example to see if you can catch my drift:
Faithful Catholics are known to carry rosary bead necklaces. Jewish men wear a Yarmulke. So on, and so forth. Maybe Netossa wears a shoulderpad, whose crest has some significance on her land. Others from her land may have the same crest in other items of clothing.
Just like Brightmoon has a lunar motif. I lnow the Netflix experiment played a little bit with this, but they played it a bit too safe.

This idea is to expand the lore of the world and "ground" the characters on a more "realistic" world... (as realistic as  you can get on a world with magical Princesses fighting Space Nazis)

Need an interracial couple for a story use Netossa and Spinnerella... or have some new characters.

-once the tone of the series is set, it shouldn't be drastically changed without reason.
Personally for a She-Ra cartoon I would go for a middle-of-the-road tone. By that I mean that it wouldn't be as light as the Filmation cartoon nor as dark as Game of Thrones. Maybe as dark as Young Justice. By drastically changing in town I'm referring to something like in Teen Titans  (the early 2000s one) where you had some serious episodes and some incredibly silly episodes intertwined.

If for some reason an extremely light tone episode is required, frame it as Bow singing a ballad about said events after they happened. Like say rescuing the village of Thaymor  Bow would sing anout the event while embellishing details  to make it fit the song format. The idea is to justify within the story this change. Unlike the Experiment's  "D&D" episode, that retells the same segment in different styles hey do you have to tell the one single story in that more than slightly different tone. Similar reasoning would apply if a dark and more somber tone needs to be used, although the method to justify the change in tone would have to be different. Maybe the darker retelling is from a horde Cadet reporting to their superior.

The idea is to not to Blindside the viewers completely with an episode that doesn't not the style of the rest. Like going full wtf with a Prom Episode, a Beach Episode, or the Jazz Lounge Episode.

-Story is the master, everything else is secondary:
It's not a difficult concept. The show is not a soapbox to discuss social or political issues. It doesn't mean that they can't be dealt with, because you totally can. The issue is that they are NOT the main focus. The focus is on Adora's Hero Journey (and redemption) as well as the people of Etheria joining together despite Race, Gender, Nationality, Creed to fight the Evil Space Nazis. Not a platform for the showrunner to expose their views.

-At the end of the day, this is a 22 minute toy ad:
We can desire to make the best story ever and the most kickass She-Ra series, but if it doesn't fullfill Mattel's prime directive, it's not worth it for them.  That of course means, parts reuse and homogenous body types. I said TypeS Now, because the characters don't NEED to be confined to one male and onfe female body type. And yes, before anyone asks, obese bodies are not being considered.
Why? The kids don't want them.

For the females, I'd  say:
Petite, Athletic, buff. For example: Glimmer and Adora would be Petite. Mermista would be Athletic. Huntara and She-Ra would be Buff.
For the males we'd have Thin, Athletic, Buff, and Large.
Modulok and Josh would be Thin. Mantenna, Bow and Sea Hawk are Athletic. Crimson Rose and Grizzlor would be buff. Leech, Horde Prime would be Large.
If we were to asign characters to certain bodies.  I'm not going to go in full detail because this is just giving a general idea nothing set in stone but more difference between each body type could be acquired by different overlays.

Basically the notion is to design the characters in a way that can be easily translated into toys which was something the Experiment forgot.

For the people involved to be hellbent in delivering the BEST SHE-RA SHOW THEY CAN MAKE... and some humility:
I want to see some passion for She-Ra by the people involved. I don't want to see any of the people involved talking smack about previous versions (and that includes the Netflix experiment) I don't want to see them talk how they're going to make the X-est show ever! All I want is to hear them talk about the great responsibility handed to them, that they're trying to make the best She-Ra show possible and that they hope we enjoy it as much as they enjoyed making it. In fact, if we don't hear about the showrunner, the better...

Holy crap, I didn't expect that this would've gotten this big... but I'm mildly passionate about this.

May 17, 2020

Good things from Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra that could be used in future continuities.

Yes, you read right: Despite my massive hatred for this Bastardization, I'm going to sift through the poop and find the fermented coffee beans.
I won't count having "continuity" or "character arcs" in favor of this bastardization. Why? The original was made for syndication, which meant showing episodes out of order was a valid reason to NOT HAVE ARCS.

-Competent Bow:
While the character of Bow was changed very radically to a point that he no longer was Bow, that's why I dumped him Tyrone, the one Good thing about Tyrone Bow, was that HE WAS COMPETENT. Now if we could have Competent Bow with the Chauvinist Bard/Presditigitator, we could get a badass Batman/Robin Hood kind of guy.

-Catra's Jealousy/pettiness:
While I'm not interested in the incestuous vibe that Stevenson added. (Especially it being reciprocal,  when there were NO SIGNALS AT ALL that Adora loved Catra in THAT WAY) but this version of Catra had a nice vindictive, petty behavior that fits with her Jealous tag.

-Pathetic Sea Hawk:
To be honest, I am biased against Sea Hawk, since he's always being what Bow should be. But being an incompetent pirate who lucks out in his adventures is a rather interesting take on him and the whole Pirate/Mermaid relationship with Mermista makes sense.

-Calm and collected villains: (Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Prime)
Being more in control of their emotions made them look more evil, calculating, and menacing villains. I've praised the actors perfomances, despite having issues with the writing. (Ie. The Horde not truly being a threat.)

-Netossa and Spinnerella's relationship:
While the Gay Adora thing felt forced, Netossa and  Spinnerella's relationship was handled more organically. They simply existed. Also, I wish they had been used more.

-Double Trouble:
While I disliked the whole Gender Neutral Lizard Monster angle for Double Trouble... or Jacob Tobia getting the role because of a stunt... (the stunt was casting the biggest "non-binary stereotype" they could find because they are a prop to fend off criticism.) But they actually USED Double Trouble.

I really wanted to reach to 10 things, but sadly, I couldn't... but there you have it, even in crap, you can find something good.

May 16, 2020

I can't... BELIEVE IT!! Ari Arad is shitting on Naruto

I always confuse my Arads... to be fair, they have similar names and both thend to shit on properties if let loose.
Like I said, Ari, son of Avi Arad is going to take a massove dump on Naruto.

I know people are going to say that I should give it a chance. I can't give it a chance because I know how Hollywood producers operate and I've seen plenty of American anime adaptations to know that this is going to suck donkey dick. On one hand the casting notice says that they're looking for Asian kids to play that characters which is kind of nice and refreshing. Probably it's just to avoid the backlash from scarjo as kusanagi in Ghost in the Shell.

 On the other hand it's one of the Arads as a producer, if I recall correctly one of them was involved in Ghost in the Shell. Also it's the reason why we got queefer Sutherland replacing David Hayter in Metal Gear Solid 5.

On the other other hand this is Naruto we're speaking about... yeah I could a screw this up big time believe it!!

On the other other other hand I want to see this train wreck...

Not going to make it to the movie.

Neither is this... believe it!!

So much potential, squandered by Noelle Stevenson... Shit-Ree and the Princesses of Powder Final " Season"...

They dropped the ball so hard here... and I'm trying to find a tactful way to explain how much this season sucked...
 The good news is that this bastardization is over. The bad news is that it exists.

The pacing was horrible. Out of 13 episodes, they spent 7 dicking around with Outer Space. 4 of those Space episodes felt Filler-like including the Peekablue episode.

At the end of Episode 9 "This war has just begun"
That's literally 4 episodes before the SERIES FINALE!! Then the remaining episodes have a contrived struggle against the cliche mind controlled allies.

Speaking of contrived, Adora's relationship with Catra. Not going to argue about forcing a straight character into a gay role, which is horrible writing. Characters who were written AS SISTERS suddenly became lovers. I'm well aware that the incestuous undertones were seen in season 1, but that's Shit-Ree and the Princesses of Powder for you... Teaching little girls to make out with their step-sisters!
On the other hand they actually did Justice to Netossa and Spinnerella. Their kisses didn't feel forced or out of place.

They also wasted time in canonizing ships: "Glimmer" and "Bow", Mermista and Don Karnage's gay brother, Hordak and Entrapta... I'd like a mission before Catra and Adora.

 Oh yeah we also had the super lame cliche for girls cartoons all of the bad guys turned good except the real real bad guy who dies in the end. Hell, even the mediocre Neitlichverse got a shout out in the Peekablue episode.

I believe the most sad thing about this whole "season" is that Horde Prime became crappier Hordak. His Conquest plan literally became the same that Hordak used the past "season".

But as always, any criticism of this Bastardization means I'm a fat shaming, racist, homophobe, incel, neckbeard, Trump supporting asshole... Because it's easier to blindly defend mediocre writing by accusing the detractors instead of pointing out the good things... which for them are being stunning and brave. Asinine plots and contrived writing? Doesn't matter we have fat LGBTQ characters...

In any case, here's hoping the next She-Ra doesn't suck or Steal Cloud Strife's attacks...
That's totally NOT Cloud's Cross-Slash... she also pulls off a couple of Blade Beams and a Climbhazzard... There was a move similar to Braver...
BTW I like to redesigned suit. I just wish that had been her single outfit throughout the entire series.

Good riddance!!

May 15, 2020

Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!!! Hasbro is gunning for my Mighty Morphin' money!

Alpha, Rita's coming in August! We need a retailer with attitude!
Alpha chose Walmart as the retailer with enough attitude to have Alpha and Zordon as a store exclusive...
It's available for pre-order right now. It's slated for a September release...

Seems like Hasbro is hitting all the Mighty Morphin' era big hitters. To be honest I didn't expect Alpha and Zordon  coming out this soon. I want Baboo, Squatt, Finster, Scorpina, a set of Putties and Z-Putties... to round up the Mighty Morphin segment of the lightning collection. I wouldn't say no to movie version all of the Rangers and I mean 95 movie... and maybe Ivan ooze?

Gender and race bending is bad... No matter thhe direction.

I have said this before, and I'll say it again: race and gender bending is bad, no matter the direction of the bend.
Whether is making a Black Character White, or vice versa.
Whether is making a Male character into a Female character or vice versa. That type of change is creatively bankrupt and lazy.

White Goku, Black Johnny Storm Female Doctor, Male Jewelstar... ALL OF THESE CHANGES, I HATE THEM ALL THE SAME!! I've  mentioned ad nauseum how I hate changes to estavlished characters in order to have faux diversity. They made the Star Sisters black and Jewelstar a male. I know what you're thinking: You didn't mention their blackness up until now, what's up with that?

While the change bothers me, because of unfaithfulness to the source material, I expected it. There's no point in arguing against an expected change. It's stupid because it's all for "muh diversity" and it has no other real reason for being. But to "steal a possible role model for little girls that would make them feel empowered" is a massive dick move. (Note that this show is supposed to be empowering for little girls) How dare Noelle Stevenson do this atrocity!? I thought she was the progressive one!! Then again, this is not her first genderbending... she OKed Double Trouble being a genderfluid lizard monster.

There is no rhyme nor reason for this change.
Now that I've done all the over the top pearl clutching and mock outrage thing, it's time to get serious.

I understand what they're trying to attempt with a "diverse cast". I disagree in the methodology, because they're stealing from one group to give to another. Instead of adding, they're replacing and I can't get behind that kind of change. Personally, I can't see any advantage of having Jewelstar as a male. Heck! It kinda feels like thwy had different original characters and somehow got a "mandate from above" to use the Star Sisters and they were able to half-assedly shove them in.

Because let's face it: if there was a Star Sister that could've been made male with no real issue is TALLSTAR. She has the most "gender neutral" name of the three... Jewelstar still sounds too Female-like and don't get me started on Starla. People, myself included, wouldn't complain about these changes IF they had some rhyme or reason. But the half-baked approach to the changes clash with the characters/story and makes them easier to mock.

Personally, I'm not a fan of these race/gender changes, BUT if they have to be done, I'd expect a reasonable explanation that serves the story. Back to the non-serious stuff...

Star Sisters rolls off better than Star Siblings. Stars i sters kinda sounds like "Stars y stars" when slurred... (that's  Spanish for Stars and stars) while Stars i blings sounds like Stars and Bling in Spanish but the explosive B sound breaks off the ease of how thw words come out of my mouth.

First episode from the final batch of NSPCAoShe-Ra (language)

I hate myself for sticking till the end with this... in all fairness, half the series wasn't horrible... bit sadly, the other half was unbearable.

We start with Horde Prime's invasion of Etheria and FINALLY FUCKING HORDE TROOPERS!!

Adora now fights with a stick... (seagulls stop it now?) The rebellion is actually fighting to defend people from Horde oppression? This is what we should've been getting ALL THE TIME instead of bullshit like "Princess Prom" or taking a chunk of an episode to mock the True She-Ra... Hopefully the next version of She-Ra is more in line with what She-Ra is supposed to be.

And Adora tries to transform without her sword... *sigh*
And Horde Prime is curious about Adora...
Let's skip the craopy theme song!
Adora is having "astral projection" dreams. And the shattered sword is a reminder of her greatest failure.
We see Sea Hawk polishing his sword, if you know what I mean... he was polishing his actual sword, which wasn't it an energy blade in this version as well?
The gameplay is
Now and Entrapta are doing stuff together... no, not that kind of stuff. It would be a lot better than Entrapta's lack of awareness regarding their situation. You know because Autism is funny! That cringy scene was written to laugh at Entrapta's autism... yikes! Good thing this team is super progressive!

Perfuma, voiced by the daughter of a Viagra spokesperson, brought an important point, but it's played for laughs. Also Shadow Weaver is butting heads  with Micah.

Thaymor, as in the village that always gets in trouble, was made into a joke here, which I actually laughed at... See? I can say good things about this abomination too, y'know?
Glimmer is now a prisoner of Horde Prime... And no one talks to her. Oh God... Scorpia and Quick Fart together? Did you run out of Locusts, God? Isn't COVID-19 torture enough?

A little girl dropped a She-Ra doll... yet Target can't get rid of them even in clearance!! and Bow's tech thingie beeped.
3 Horde Wraiths... I mean HP Clones, coming in their direction.

Meanwhile, HP summoned Catra to discuss what to do with her... and we're back to Adora's astral dreams. Scorpia had stung Adora to stop her from dping something stupid and in her daze, she says spmething kinda logical if you're in a cartoon and have protagonist's plot armor... so they caught a HPClone... Meanhwile at the Hall of Horde Prime, Glimmer and Catra are invited to dinner.

The HP Clone basically told Adora how fucked she was...
Shadow Weaver saved Entrapta and Micah. Back to HP's dinner partay. HP has perfect supervillain tact... I wish we could get him on a REAL She-Ra show! So deliciously evil! Showing Glimmer his forces attacking and overpowering the Rebellion! Seriously, Horde Prime is freaking sweet!

You never were... Pretender.
She gets a pep talk and now she's ready to bring the fight to HP. *blegh!* IS it wrong that I want the evil horde to win? But first, she needs to find shekter for the Etherians? Guessing the Crystal Castle... but will Light Hope allow it? Oh, it's the heart of the Whispering woods. Ass trail prohection dream, the end!

 While it wasn't a train wreck it wasn't that good episode. I understand it's setting off the game pieces for the final battle while we still got like twelve episodes to go. Once I see the remaining twelve episodes I will make an overall review on the season. All I can say is that I'm glad that it's finally over and hopefully the next version will be something more enjoyable and less interested in gaining Tumblr brownie points.

I guess this up to He-Man to show his sister how it's done... I hope the non-Kevin Smith MOTU doesn't suck.

Odds and ends May 15 2020 Batpattz, fake She-Ra, and stuff.

Finally, the nightmare is over!! Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra Season 2 part 2 is finally over. Don't be fooled by Netflix's "season 5" moniker. It's really 2 seasons. I will post a rant on the weekend. Too busy playing Super Mario Maker 2 to watch this.

Dammit, Robert!! You're giving ammo to the haters! What do you mean you aren't going to work out in order to get in Batman Shape? Dude, being in top shape is Part of being Batman. Bulking up is part of the process. No one is talking to get into Batffleck bulkiness, but enough to not look Adam West Wimpy Batman. By not taking this seriously, the haters will jump on yhe sparkling poison fairy jokes for Batman... Right now, you have 2 choices:
Be a man and follow the traoning regime to get in the best shape required for the role...
Or quit... and prove all the haters right...

Funko seems to hate yellow Spandex. We're getting Fox movie 20th anniversary X-Men pops... It's  funko pops from the X-Men movies... what else can I say?

I'm taking this anime *orgasmic moans* AND REVIEW IT!! A rant about El Cuaderno de la Muerte

No version of Death Note's potato chip scene is as over the top as the English version. Thanks to COVID-19, I've binge watched a lot of Anime. K-ON, karakai no jouzu no Takagi-san, Sword Art Online, The first season of The Devil is a part-timer, Stardust Crusaders... now I can appreciate the Dreamcast game, I wish I had bought. (I played it at a friend's place back in the end of my High School life and beginning of College life... God, I miss that era. I was so young, innocent, thinner, and with a Lot more hair on my head!! Wait, where was I? I watched Death Note, the anime... and if I hated the Netflix Bastardization before, I hate it a lot more now...

But We're not here to suffer... we're here to talk about the Death Note anime. So, this kid, Light Yagami, finds the Death Note. Thing is, he's REALLY SMART!! And I mean Supervillain smart. So he ends up using the notebook as a tool to impart Justice. This draws attention of L: a Modern Sherlock Holmes who eats copious amounts of candy... that it goes beyond diabeetus. He also looks like he sleeps less than Bruce Wayne. The series is literally a cat and mouse game: a battle of wits between Light, who the world knows as Kira and the mysterious Detective L.

Also, there is a One-shot Manga where Donald Trump has the Death Note... I... got nothing Donald Trump has the Death Note... and no, I did not watch an anime to understand how rhe Hell Donald Trump ends up with a Death Note. I wanted to have the full context of: "I'll take a potato chip *orgasmic sounds* AND EAT IT!!" I STILL DON'T GET IT!!

But, do I recommend Death Note?

May 14, 2020

The Last of Us 2 leaks killed my interest in the game.

am not calling for a boycott. Those rarely work on videogames. I will simply explain WHY The Last of Us 2 no longer interests me.

There will be spoilers after the jump, but for the spoiler free version this is the gist of it: The focus of the story based on the leaks is going in a direction that doesn't sound "fun", "entertaining" or "appealing" to me. Many of the choices made by Neil Druckmann were following the guidelines from a certain scam artist media critic that I dislike due to her intellectually dishonest arguments.

May 12, 2020

Tony Hawk? Yeah, I skated with that guy!

That phrase was uttered by Your Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in Activision's Spider-Man for the PS1.
 it was thanks to that free then I got interested in the Tony Hawk Pro Skater games.

Weeell, THPS 1+2 ARE GETTING REMASTERED!! and coming out this September... I'm very likely to get this. The only bad news abouy it is that the entire soundtrack from the originals may not be available... licensing issues.
I hope that at least: Blood Brothers, When Worlds Collide, You, Out with the Old, and Guerilla Radio make it to the game... shit! I forgot Apollo 440's Spider-Man theme cover.

I wonder if this will lead to a THPS 3+4 and THUG 1+2 Remasters...
Finally I got an excuse to post this.

Super7 and potential Thundercats variants:

Jaga got an update by Super7.

Extra older head, extra hands holding the cloth that made the Thundercats' clothes. No info on a butt nekkid Thundercats set.

But the nifty thing is they have a transparent test Jaga...

it got me thinking: A Spirit Guide Jaga would be an obvious redeco that Super7 could easily do:
I'm aware that in some instances Jaga had the same colors as when he was alive, but most people remember him in shades of gray and blue.

Compared to

I would love to have a translucent Smokey Grey plastic Jaga with his clothing painted in shimmering blue and silver tp simulate his spirit look.

The second obvious variant would be stealth Tygra.
This is literally the Tygra figure in clear plastic.

Third most obvious variant would be Red Mumm-Ra Lion-o doppelganger.

It would be literally Ultimate Lion-o in red.

Sadly I do not have a fourth figure to add in order to complete a wave. Since these figures are meant to be literally repaint with zero new sculpted parts; I cannot make Hammerhand Panthro special enough to warrant a release. Green glow in the dark eyes are not reason enough to release and nearly identical release to the normal Panthro.

May 11, 2020

Top 12 Non-Super Street Fighter II Turbo or Final Fight characters I'd like to see from Bandai

With over half the SSFIIT roster in our hands, I'd like to see some characters from other games as well... I blame R.Mika and Sakura for this... I chose 12 because it's a round number and it's the number of characters in SFII...

#12: Twelve:
This was my third reason for choosing Twelve as a number. He's a rather easy to make for Bandai and if thwy add an extra Eleven Head, people can "double dip" into getting 2 Twelves.

#11: Urien:
He is the "most basic form" of this body type. Gill would require a unique paint job and a special torso for his seraph wings in the Resurrection move. Seth would require a special torso for his Tanden Engine. Those two would allow Bandai to recoup some of their costs for making Urien.

#10: Nash:
A fan favorite character who fans are very likely to double dip if the revived Nash is also made. All they'd have to change from one version to the other is right arm, faceplates, and maybe an accessory or two.

#09: Karin:
With Sakura they have most of Karin. Head, hands, lower legs, feet would be the new parts. They're like 64% done with Karin already.

#08: Dan:
Again this is another character that they have pretty much everything done for them all they need is a new head and maybe accessories.

#07: Sean:
Sean is basically 85% done already: all he needs is the heads (normal and surprised heads. The bubble gum bubble or exploded gum could be plugged into his mouth) and a basketball.

#06: Adon:
Sagat's rebellious protege is a rather "basic character" to make. My main reason to Adam is because he comes from Street Fighter 1, but most games that he has appeared in are based on his Street Fighter Alpha look.

#05: Gouken:
We have Akuma, for Balance, we need Gouken. Besides, we need some SFIV representation on the list.

#04: Geki:
He's one of the more distinct looking SFI characters despite being "a generic ninja". Geki brings some uniqueness to the table. (Not to mention that he's a freaking Ninja!!) Also, like Tweleve, you COULD dounle dip on Geki by adding a Geki II head, sword, and gripping hand.

#03: Ibuki:
Same reason Geki is in the list would be the laziest answer. It's not A wrong answer but it's not THE correct answer.
I like Ibuki. Her being friends with Sakura makes her a more interesting character for me. While I prefer the SFIII ninja outfit, I wouldn't mind the Ninja Schoolgirl looks from SFV.

#02: C.Viper:
I like how the character looks... not how she plays.  Personally I prefer the catsuit look from Street Fighter V over the business suit look from SFIV.

#01: Laura:
Since I added Sean to the list, not adding his sister felt like a dick move. Also, she's unique enoigh to stand out. My other choice was Juni and Juli Bison Dolls. Don't get me wrong, Bison surrounded by an army of dolls would look badass, but I don't want to go deep into the Doll hole... that came out wrong since I made a joke about owning a "Special Doll"...

May 10, 2020

Why I'd rather have enhanced remasters than remakes for Xenogears and Chrono Trigger

Short answer: Final Fantasy VII Remake. Since this is the House of Rants, that answer isn't good enough for me. So, Aiiiiyeeeeee ah tatatatatatatataaah! Kick punch it's all in the rant...  I honestly don't know why that Parappa reference got there!

Based on what Square Enix did with the Final Fantasy 7 remake I do not trust them for a Xenogears or Chrono Trigger remakes. Think about it: They couldn't deliver Final Fantasy VII as a single game in the remake. We don't know HOW LONG it'll take them to do so. Not only that, but Chrono Trigger doesn't have an "easy spot" to have a cut-off point unlike FFVII REMAKE. Well, they COULD get away with ending the "first game" after The Trial and Crono's escape from prison. For Xenogears, I'm guessing the game could cut off shortly after Dazil... before getting captured by Bart's crew.

But I don't want that. I got burnt badly with a multi-game saga that had Xeno- as a prefix. I don't want to wait 8 years to finish a remake if a game I've already beaten its original form. I'd rather have an enhanced remaster with maybe some extra dungeons and bosses and call it a day.  that way I get the whole game a few extras and I don't have to wait 8 to 10 years to complete it.

Xenogears would look pretty cool with HD Sprites and some enhanced backgrounds.

But the biggest reason is that with Xenogears's team gone... and Square ENIX's "dream team" being iffy in the storytelling department, would ruin these games. I don't trust Nomura, Nojima, Tabata, and Toriyama to do justice to these games.

May 9, 2020

Odds and ends pre Mother's day 2020...

Henry Cavill was rejected for the role of Geralt of Rivia... because he was too insistent in wanting to be Geralt that he prematurely bombarded the Netflix people with his Geralt-fanboyness. But in the end... it didn't even matter, because he got the role. He was lucky... last case that I know of who pulled this kind of stunt became Hollywood Cancer... I'm talking about Sean Young...

Hey look, that girl from Masters of the Universe is in this too!

Little Richard has passed away. Cause of death Bone cancer. As always, my condolences to the family and friends. I know that he is an instrumental piece to what became rock and roll, but being brutally honest I only remember him for one thing... No, it's not making a guest appearance in Full House.

Of course it had to be Tutti Frutti... oh, Rudy! Were you expecting anything else?

Power-Con 2020 was cancelled

But you can get the exclusives via BigBadToyStore... since Mattel is now promoting their pseudovintage line, there is nothing for me.

May 8, 2020

Inuyasha is getting a sequel? What?

I'm not a fan of Inuyasha... I've always seen Inuyasha as a Dog-Ranma knock-off. And I've just traumatized an entire generation of anime Watchers. I'm well aware that I'm painting Inuyasha with a broad brush just because there are some similarities to Ranma 1/2. Also it's no secret that I have a bias in favor of Ranma 1/2... P-Chan is my spirit animal.

 But yes, it seems that Inuyasha is getting some love. We know nothing if the sequel is going to be an anime a manga or a movie... hell it might not even be a sequel it maybe a reboot or remake. In all fairness it's nice that Inuyasha is getting some love... hopefully we might even get a new version of Ranma 1/2 that follows the manga a lot closer than the previous anime... Sadly, a modern Ranma would be "offensive" to Western Sensibilities.

Well, as of today Siegfried and Roy is now SigSiegfried sans Roy...

The fabulous duo who dazzled people with their animal shows is no longer a duo. The Roy half of Siegfried and Roy has passed away. My condoloences to Siegfried... Roy is now in heaven with his pal, Montecore. Obviously, my condolences to Roy's family.

As Ms. Cardigan Backyardigan so tastelessy mentioned, COVID-19 complications lead to Roy's death...
Also, he was 75... damn, I feel old.

Boba Fett is making a comeback?

For the Second season of the Mandalorian, Disney managed to snag Temuera Morrison... Y'know, the guy who played Jango Fett, the genetic template to the entire clone army AND Boba Fett. Well, he's coming back to Star Wars in The second Season of The Mandalorian as Boba Fett... or a clone taking the Fett identity... for all we know he could be playing Jodo Kast!! All sogns are pointing to Boba, but there are enough alternatives to say that it'll be Boba for sure

In any case, it's nice to have returning actors from the movies appearing on The Mandalorian...

Since this rant ended up a bit short, here's some random bit of Star Wars trivia:
Before he was Anakin Slywalker, Hayden Christensen was in a Canadian series called Higher Ground

Anakin, you had Higher Ground...

May 7, 2020

It... caME! From the... Toy? CHEst!! Space... The? Final... FRONtier

These... Are... the VOYages? of the... Starship... EnterPRIse!
 Its! five-year? mission!
To? EXplore... strange nEW worlds... To sEEk... out? new LIfe and... new? civilizaTIONs. To bOLDly!! Go? where... no man... has gone? BEfore!
And this is the part where my Mom would wail the chorus like a banshee. Then she would scold me for mocking Captain James Tiberius Kirk... I would say that no one cared enough about TJ Prostitute for me to mock. She'd correct me angrily and then act as if something was to my right. I'd look and get slapped on the back of the head. She'd blame the gremlin... point is that my irreverent appreciation to the Shatman is in part due to my Mom's admiration of William Shatner.

 Captain Kirk in a nutshell: A collecrion of interspecies STDs, a clear violation of the Prime Directive.

And the line died with just Kirk and Piccard... No Spock, Ryker, McCoy, Beverly Crusher, Sulu, or... SHUT UP WESLEY!!
I... can't... get any!
Sig? NAL!! On the...

 Since this is a McFarlane toy and has it requires the bullshit rituals I complained about recently. The waist seems like it has an articulation point but despite eating it up it won't budge. so I'm not going to risk it. He's got single jointed elbows and knees very basic articulation and unlike the doomguy most of it is usable. Sadly he cannot create a Infamous Kirk sitting pose.
Paint and sculpt 
Since it's a McFarlane Toy, the sculpt here didn't disappoint. His face kind of looks like Michael Myers... the one from Halloween not the one from Shrek. I had to re-watch a couple of episodes of the original series to catch the likeness all Shatner next to the toy.  My Kirk had no visible issues on the paint Department.
The other pic was the
most dynamic pose I could get out
of Kirk... NO! He's not trying to
send Dick picks to Yeoman Rand

Extra hand
Sadly he has no tribbles...


James Tiberius Kirk gets a 4.33 as his final score. It's a VERY GOOD Score for a McFarlane Toy. It's a shame that the line got cancelled. We could have used mein Enterprise crew for both original and Next Generation... also we were denied the ultimate variant 2 pack:
Pon Farr Spock vs Kirk...