Flinging popcorn at the worst twilight parody

 It's called Taintlight. A Chris Seaver "Film" it makes porn movies look like high budget productions. And i'm not talking those fancy parodies where they have decent costumes. No I'm talking Amateur Compilation kind videos made by drunk college students.

To call this film film, it's an insult to film to call it moronic is an insult to Morons.

The fact that this movie exists is proven up for atheists to claim that there is no god. After this, I'm gonna burn my twilight books. UnHappy Halloween you filthy animals!

Flinging popcorn: Another Twilight Parody

 Ah Twilight: what can I say about thee. I reviewed your parody but there is another parody.

Breaking Wind: part 1

With a title like that it must be shit. We'll find out soon enough... a matter of seconds for you a matter of 82 minutes for me.

Odds and ends September 3 2020 Cobra Kai!!!

Remember Cobra Kai? Well, it's on Netflix now... and they're getting the videogame treatment.

A Final Fight type game, but with Street Fighter-esque spec moves...
We've gone so far from this:

Better show this to my brother...

If you smelled what The Rock was cooking, the answer was:

Yes, The Rock and his immediate family were struck by COVID-19. Luckily, they're better now. Not everyone is that lucky. Seriously, be careful out there and follow the security measures... please!!

Picture it: some time after 1997 a young Robert Pattinson is sitting in front of the TV...
Playing Playstation...


Then, the waterworks... Robert Pattinson is one of us!! Loves Final Fantasy VII AND cried when Aeris Dies.
I understand that pretty much everyone who played Final Fantasy 7 cried at that scene but at the same time it's Edward freaking Cullen crying because Aeris Dies.

Stephenie Meyer's genderbent Twilight reboot is real!?

Yesterday I found out about the genderbent Twilight reboot. What's worse is that it was an actual book that was released. It's not midnight sun which was a retelling of Twilight through Edward's perspective. That book is coming as well supposedly. What I'm talking about is basically the first Twilight where Bella is a boy and Edward is a girl. Guess who has two thumbs and is stupid enough to have bought that book. Yes I just bought a fucking Twilight book. No I will not complete reviewing the Twilight Saga because fuck the Twilight Saga. But there's a part of me that has to read this Unholy abomination and I'll probably make a review of it because it's way more messed up as a concept then the entire Twilight Saga itself. I mean how creatively bankrupt you have to be to rewrite the same book but just switching pronouns... also how much of an idiot I have to be to rebuy the same book by switching pronouns.

Odds and ends May 15 2020 Batpattz, fake She-Ra, and stuff.

Finally, the nightmare is over!! Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra Season 2 part 2 is finally over. Don't be fooled by Netflix's "season 5" moniker. It's really 2 seasons. I will post a rant on the weekend. Too busy playing Super Mario Maker 2 to watch this.

Dammit, Robert!! You're giving ammo to the haters! What do you mean you aren't going to work out in order to get in Batman Shape? Dude, being in top shape is Part of being Batman. Bulking up is part of the process. No one is talking to get into Batffleck bulkiness, but enough to not look Adam West Wimpy Batman. By not taking this seriously, the haters will jump on yhe sparkling poison fairy jokes for Batman... Right now, you have 2 choices:
Be a man and follow the traoning regime to get in the best shape required for the role...
Or quit... and prove all the haters right...

Funko seems to hate yellow Spandex. We're getting Fox movie 20th anniversary X-Men pops... It's  funko pops from the X-Men movies... what else can I say?

Is this for real? Batman rumor...

People who hated Batffleck are rejoicing with the rumor that Ben Affleck isn't returning as Batman.
But, one of the people considered as Batman is a shocking choice...

Yes, Robert Pattinson is being considered for the role of the Dark Knight...
I'm laughing, no cackling like a madman by the rumor. Batman could be a twilight...

All jokes aside... Pattinson is a good actor, theoretically speaking, he COULD pull it off. He might need to bulk up for the role, but a younger Bruce Wayne is possible for him to pull off.

If they replace Cavill as Supes, May I suggest Taylor Lautner?
It's a joke... put down those pitchforks!!

A Twilight, Sparkle of hope for the He-Man movie?

Kellan Lutz has been campaigning to be He-Man for quite some time... The oldest reference to Kellan Lutz and He-Man I could find on the House of Rants dates 2010... Well, he met up with McG to talk He-Man...

I'm freaking out right now... I Despise McG... I see him as another Bay Knock-Off. I feel like Mattel (and SONY) are trying to make He-Man fail cosmically!

On the Other Hand, I see some potential in Lutz... but only as He-Man... He's too old to play Adam, especially in an origin story.

Yes, everyone and their mothers will bring Twilight Saga as an argument against Lutz.
I'm more worried about McG...
Here's my Mantra regarding McG and the MOTU movie.

Wonder if this movie will allow us to get "MOTUC styled" versions of the movie characters as a Mattycollector only line vs the retail line for the kids...

bad Twilight fanfiction is bad...

Well, I caved in to peer pressure and went to see Fifty Shades of Grey...  (If read that way you'd think I need some new friends.) Was it bad? Yes. It wasn't Tommy Wiseau bad, but simply bad. The movie had nothing that could redeem it. Not even Danny Elfman's score.

The movie is basically a rehash of the first Twilight, minus vampires, or any real conflict. Seriously, if you've seen or read Twilight, you'll see a lot of similarities between Edward and Grey or Anesthesia and Bella.

According to S & M experts, the movie is dead wrong in how it depicts the lifestyle.

So, let's do a recap of the plot with spoilers. Not doing a play by play since it would mean watching the movie more than once. Also it involves rewatching this at a movie theater and I am already scarred for life... No joke, during the entire movie I heard a combination of buzzing sounds and stifled female moans that made me feel worse than the person who was sitting next to Pee Wee Herman the day he got arrested. Some women were actually touching themselves while watching the movie. Most of the audience watching the movie were women in the ranges of 35+ and one of the frisky ladies was in her 60s... Also the ratio of women to dudes was: 34:1. which meant I WAS THE ONLY GUY IN THERE... I could have been raped! I won't risk getting raped for the sake of comedy because Rape is bad, mkay!

So, the quickie recap... no pun intended. The movie follows Anesthesia Steele. (Real name Anastasia, but she is so dull and boring as a character that the name Anesthesia suits her better. Then again she is a Bella Swan store brand knock-off. Remember that this started as a bad Twilight Fanfic.)
She's covering her roommate on an interview with the mysterious Christian Grey, who is a poor man's substitute to Edward Cullen. The guy has a cartoony parody of OCD, hence the whole S & M thing... but that is getting ahead of ourselves. He is taken by plain jane Anesthesia that he stalks her, like a sparkly vampire, to her workplace. He buys cable ties, rope, and tape. (Do not buy NyQuill and a toy when you buy those items from WalMart. It's already pretty embarrassing having to explain that a) I'm a toy collector who likes My Little Pony
b) I have a cold and it's not letting me sleep at night
c) The tape and cable ties are for keeping my entertainment center organized
d) The rope is to make a rope chew toy for my mom's dog.
and it's even more embarrassing when they call the cops.

So, they meet, have some non-chemistry, he pops her cherry and then...

That would have made the movie more palatable. Instead he shows her the world's tamest sex dungeon that money can buy. All he had was a few cuffs, flogs, canes and riding crops.

He then proceeds in a very pro-anti-sex-third-wave-feminist manner to deliver a contract to engage in sexual congress, even though he already took her virginity without the contract. Now, the contract is for the kinky stuff, but that is the main conflict in the movie. Will she sign the contract for pretty much her soul because she is getting good sex from Bruce Wayne/Edward Cullen? We even get a meeting the parents scene here that echoes the meeting the Cullens scene. If we were to play a Scene ripped off from Twilight drinking game, we'd end up drunk.

She then tries some "S & M"stuff where he whips her in a less than half-assed way.
In the end she gets freaked out because he slaps her with a belt almost as  hard as a Latin American mother uses La Chancla.


and leaves us with a cliffhanger ending that screams SEQUEL!!!

Now here's the thing:
Sonny Crockett's daughter is a piss poor replacement for Bella. Half the time she spent trying to stifle laughs at awkward moments. Getting flogged is no laughing matter, yet she was cracking up. The acting felt almost Soap Opera-esque.

Do I recommend it?
HELL NO!

 But, it's slightly better paced than the fanfic it spawned from.

Perennial Constipation in the Marvel cinematic Universe?

Aw Hell naw! This is worse news than Will Smith doing the Suicide Squad for DC... Kristen Stewart is either IN Captain America 3 or is TRYING to get in Captain America 3.

We all know the enormous range that K-Stew has as an Actor.
But the idea that she'll play a Marvel Character scares me... Precisely for the same reason that she jokes about how people perceive her...

She will not be whatever character she is meant to play (assuming that she IS playing a character in the MCU), but she'll be the same one note, outkeanuing Keanu Reeves in wooden Acting, combined with her perennially constipated look which screams Kristen Stewart playing Kristen Stewart in Captain America 3.

Movie Pilot has a small list of characters for K-Stew to poop on:

1-Ms. Marvel (now Captain Marvel)
2-Amora the Enchantress
3-Spider-Woman

There is only one character I think she could play, but Squirrel Girl fans will be mad at me... K-Stew should Totally play Squirrel Girl... Think about it K-Stew beating Thanos... Holy crap! I can't believe I now WANT K-Stew in the MCU... but only as Squirrel Girl!! If it's anyone else, no dice!

Live Action Beauty and The Beast with K-Stew!? Aww Hell Naw!

Really? Bill Condon (His last name is the Spanish word for Condom) wants the Female Keanu Reeves as Belle...

I honestly don't see K-Stew playing Belle... Then again, I never saw her as Snow White either.

Hopefully she will pass this role or the Disney Execs put a stop to it... I'm not a fan of her... or cardboard being more emotive than her on screen. If she is chosen as Belle, I shall avoid this movie like the plague...

Some of K-Stew's best acting yet...

OK, all jokes aside, I just don't see Kristen Stewart as Belle. Maybe in a Parody, but not on a serious movie... I'm still trying to forget Snow White and the Huntsman. While we're at it, why not cast Tommy Wiseau as the Beast? I blame Angelina Jolie and her Maleficent for this!!

No Kellan, no!!! Run!! run for your life!!

Apparently Sparkules, the wannabe He-Man is hooking up with  a very special Person...

It's hypnotic...

Yes, boys and girls... The Twerkey has struck back!!! Funny thing is that Mr. Lutz is friends with a certain Hunger Games actor who happens to be the brother of an Asgardian deity.

Seriously, it's creepy going out with a friend from your ex...

Now Mr. Lutz, You've been campaigning for years your desire of being the Most Powerful Man in the Universe. Do you think it's a wise career move to enter the Controversial world of Miley Cyrus? Especially after she broke up with your buddy Liam Hemsworth? or he broke up with her?

Again, these two are grown adults and can do as they please, but Isn't there some sort of dating etiquette that says: "Don't date a friend's ex until X amount of time has passed?"

But back to Kellan Lutz and his desire to be He-Man... This move could backfire, since this whole Miley Drama could hurt the ticket sales to his Hercules movie, which would make him not worthy enough to do this...


and I wouldn't rely much on Expendables 3...


I mean look at what happened to Liam Hemsworth in Expendables 2:


So, he's got all his chips on Hercules, if he wants the people at Sony Pictures to look at him and say: "Hey, that Lutz kid could pull off He-Man. He also was on the Twilight movies, so she can bring girls to the theaters. It's a Win-win!" If the Hercules movie sucks ass (which sadly all signs point to) then bye bye He-Dream...

Odds and ends: Friday the 13th (of September 2013)

It's FRIDAY!!


Hey! It's Friday the 13th... I Had to make a Jason Voorhees reference, the Rebecca Black song seemed appropriate.

Apparently, K-Stew is now an Escort... She got paid half a million to spend 15 Minutes with a Middle Eastern Prince. The money was donated to charity, but that IS one of the definitions of Escort:

A person, often a prostitute, who is hired to spend time with another as a companion.

Now, I'm not saying that she IS a Prostitute, but if people who dislike Miss One Emotion read this article; they are more likely to make that connection. (Whether it is for comedic material, or just to slam her.) The thing that bugs me is that we get no info on this Mysterious Middle Eastern Prince with really awful taste...


  Really? 'Twerk' is a valid definition in the Oxford Dictionary now?

You said it, Derpy!! BTW, Derp was added as well...

Speaking of things that went wrong:

Season 4 starts on November 23... Same day as The Doctor's 11th Regeneration... there's a lot of stuff going on on November 23rd... you have been warned...

So, as I mentioned on the Tommy Wi-Show Rant, Modern Stan Lee sucks compared to Past Stan Lee.
It basically boils down to this:
Past Stan Lee created Spider-Man, the X-Men, Hulk, Ironman, Avengers... Modern Stan Lee created this:


Not to mention that Stan Lee has become a brand himself. Which means he now "whores himself out "for attention, almost like a teenage girl who takes 'selfies' in her underwear in her bathroom while making duckface for likes on Facebook... I still admire Stan Lee for what he did for comics in the 20th Century. It's just that instead of being excited for Stan Lee, now I just roll my eyes and try to guess what's the latest thing he's pimping out, or begging for Twitter followers. Then again, he is Kinda involved with Fangasm!  This is what bugs me about Modern day Stan... If you want to pimp some crap and need some nerd and geek cred; get Stan Lee! and it's very likely that this December I'll be buying that MOTUC Stan Lee, because it's Stan Lee... See? even I am not immune to the Crap + Stan Lee = Nerd Money!!!

So, while I think Modern Era Stan Lee pales in comparison to Past Stan Lee, I am thankful to his contributions to comics, sci-fi, fantasy, etc.


Google Chrome has a plug-in that Makes Miley Cyrus "disappear"... That would kill one 1/8 of this blog right here!! The Plug-in blocks Miley Cyrus, Twerking, etc.  Making the word Miley turn into ##### is a cute novelty, but there are sites that will put Miley news whenever they have nothing to write about... *cough* Nefty's House of Rants! *cough* Wait... that doesn't work if I'm ranting here... D'oh!
In any case, if you want to add this plug-in, feel free to do so...

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, AFFLECK!!
Batffleck won't be a campy Batman like Adam West... He'll be more jaded and brooding than Bale... Hopefully he won't be barking like Bale says Warner's Kevin Tsujihara... Something something a movie on the 'Potterverse' but it has nothing to do with Harry Potter... I'm not a fan of DC relying on the Bat-shaped crutch, especially on a Superman film, but I'm curious...

Breaking Fail: Popcorn Flinging Edition

I know I have to go through the other two movies, but I'm perplexed... This is the Worst book of the series. BDp1. is THE WORST TWILIGHT MOVIE, I've seen. Stretched too much just to divide the book in 2. I saw the movie twice... Once when I got part 1 and the second time for part 2.
Seriously, it's like watching paint dry. Poison Fairy C-section was a disappointment
Part 2, which is the worst part of the books where Bella becomes full Mary Sue and they talk to the Volturi... Also Furry pedo! Well, I'm shocked! I ACTUALLY LIKED BDp2. for real... It actually polished the turdiest part of the book and made it awesome... Not to mention the freaky deaky deviation from the source Material to wake up the Males from the Estrogen induced coma.

Bella is based on her...

So let's start with Part 1: A Vampire Wedding.
Bella and Edward get married.

They have sex... no nudity... Edward finally scored! Aaaand enter the stupidity! The Dead dude's chowder was still functional and he impregnated the Mary Sue... The wolves fear the demon spawn. So Jacob becomes a lone wolf and gets 2 wolfy sidekicks.

Bella is dying cause of her stupidity and thanks to a snide comment from Jacob, she begins drinking blood for the baby. This helps her until she goes into labor and Edward gives her a C-Section with his teeth... Sadly, the best scene from the entire book is made a lot less gruesome cause of Girl Audiences... Seriously, the perfect chance to make this awesome was glossed over. And the movie ends with Vampire Bella awakening.

The movie is awfully boring and it flows like Molasses. When I've had to rewatch the movie, I need to watch it in pieces... (had to rewatch it a third time to complete this rant...) I nearly dozed off 3 times. Roughly every 40 minutes I had to stop before I dozed off.

Now for Part 2: Mary Sue Powers Activate!
So Bella wakes up as a newborn vampire. she's like the Wolverine of Vampires. Stronger than Emmet, Faster than Eddiekins, can control her hunger in mid-hunt... Hell, she even beat nemesis... Ooops! sorry wrong Mary Sue, but you get the idea. The Volturi find out about Renesmee and they come to kill her and most of the Cullens too. The Cullens raise an army and they talk about their feelings and some other lame Romantic Movie-esque final scene... Until Mr. Condon  says Screw the Book! and he gives us ACTION!

Of course, this ass-kicking scene is not canon... It's just a cheap cop-out, cause the talking it out ending is still there, but this gives the movie the very needed shot of testosterone to wake males up!
and it wants desperately to beat the crap out of Eclipse as the best Twilight Movie.

Now if I were tor rate the movies: Breaking Dawn pt.1 gets a 1.5 out of 5.
Pt.2 gets a 3.5 out of 5. 

The biggest flaws for the movies are the plot. which is mostly the cause for the lost points. If the movie bores me to sleep, then it's not doing a great job. Part II (based on the worst part of the worst book) scored higher, because the Volturi threat was ramped up. I kinda notice a pattern here. the movies where there's a big threat looming seem to rate higher next to the ones that don't have it...

It came from the Toy Chest: Another Sparkling Vampire

No it's not Alice... Sadly, it's Jane of the Volturi! Who is her? Dakota Fanning in the movies... and She scares the crap out of Sir-Sparks-a-lot!

OK $27/2 is $13.50 then I subtract the $5 coupon and the $6.50 in my rewards card and that leaves us st $2!
Cheapest Mattel Product EVER!!  

I got her at Super duper Clearance... She was on Clearance, had a 50% OFF her marked price (which was reduced already, I had a $5 off coupon AND I used my points from K-Mart's rewards program... Yes I bought her at K-Mart...) SO I paid about $2 + taxes. She's a cheap vampire!

She doesn't come with much, but none of them did come with anything aside Stand and a Certificate of Authenticity

I did cut the rope holding the hood on her head. I like her more with the hood down.

Now let's get it on with the Ratings part: 1 Equals what Real vampires think of Twilight and 5 Equals what Twipires think of themselves.

Articulation:
Uh-Oh! Mattel seems to be cutting corners here! I thought they only did that on the Boys toys!Jane's legs are totally rigid without knee Articulation... (Victoria at least had the Barbie Rubbery legs... Jane here has Rock hard legs without a knee joint) Her Coat restricts her arm articulation a little bit.
2.0
Paint and Sculpt:
According to the Trademark info, Jane is a 1999 Barbie from Indonesia. Reusing bucks in Barbie is nothing new. she also sports a Barbie or Friend's head... Hence the Doesn't look like Dakota Fanning vibe she exudes. and like Victoria she lacks Eddiekins' sparkles!
2.0
Accessories:
Since Twibies are not meant to be played with she brings what she needs: Stand and Certificate.
3.0

Overall:
Janey-poo of the Volturi gets a whopping 2.33! Her incredible lack of Articulation (and sparkles) did hurt her score... I mean I can't complain for a $2 Barbie, but keep in mind that this is supposed to cost $30

The reason why there are no funny pics is cause Twibies are a bit of a pain to photograph and Dakota Fanning terrifies me!

Hey! What The!? Hey hey hey! What's going on here?

Mr. Belding Kicks ASS!!  Dennis Haskins better known to most of the world as Principal Richard Belding from Saved By The Bell...

I already used the Hey hey hey! What's going on here? on the title...
Apparently he is a Wrestling fan...

Not only that, but he actually KICKED ASS at another Wrestling venue...
That's Principal Belding Kicking Ass... I'm repeating myself cause I still can't believe it!!


An Art book with no pictures!? What the HELL!? the Ontario College of Art and Design assigned  one pictureless book for their "Global Visual and Material Culture: Prehistory to 1800" class... WHAT THE HELL!? The most important thing on an Art History book is the PICTURES!! Paying $180 dollars on an art  book with NO PICTURES!?

Apparently I'm no longer an International fan for Mattel anymore. Did someone at Digital River opened up a History Book? Let's see how this goes... Don't want to have to buy Mekaneck and Dragon Blaster Skeletor from resellers... Not trying to be a jerk, but it took them 3 1/2 years to figure it out!


Cause I still can't believe that Mr. Belding is now Mr. AWESOME!!

Cause Mr. Belding...

It happened... Bella ad Edward are back together... I, I, uh... OK I kinda wished she had cheated on him with sharkboy... cause Twilight! As long as we don't read news about Taylor Lautner dating Mackenzie Foy... That would be too creepy... or beautiful if you're Stephenie Meyer!

How did we get here!? Edward is a Sparkling cornuto!

Holy apple holding scandal Batman!

Kristen Stewart apparently cheated on Rob Pattinson... at least it wasn't with Taylor Lautner. Now looks like Cedric Diggory is packing his bags... Here's the weird part, as much as I don't like this couple, I feel bad about Mr. Sparkly. Being deceived like that sucks so much, also WHY!? Why in the heck would she cheat on him!?

Hopefully there is no Kristen Stewart sex video scandal yet... Though I AM curious, does she have that constipated look on her face while having sex?

Now back on topic, I applaud Mr. Pattinson's actions because they show moral fortitude and strength of character. Now I hope that this issue can be solved in an amicable way, especially since BD pt.II is coming this year and a promotional tour with them could create a bit of controversy...

It came from the Toychest: Another Twibie Review.

This time is Victoria... The evil Red-headed vampire that wants to kill Bella. I got her for $7 at K-Mart... cause she's a peg-warmer... Jane (Dakota Fanning's character) is also Peg-Warming, yet she's $30... WTF!? I've done some Twibies before... So let's get it on with Ron Howard's sparkling daughter... not in that way...

Still, Edward holds the record for being the only Twibie that I paid Full-Price for... Victoria is the cheapest one

So once I pulled her out of her package this is what I got...

Doll, clothes, stand certificate of Authenticity

Pretty much the same thing as the other Twibies...

Now unto the review stage... 1 = crap and 5 = awesome...

Articulation:

Apparently she has the same range of articulation of an average 1990s Barbie... Sadly, mine has Super Weak ankles... (I thought that was a MOTUC thing, but it happens on the pink aisle as well...)
3
Paint and Sculpt:
Like most Twibies This doll actually reuses The Barbie buck... Her head is from an earlier Barbie too... (Sheesh! The USS Logistics seems to have struck the almighty Pink B!?) They even left out the sparkly bits... Sure, she did not sparkle in the movie, but Twipires are supposed to sparkle!
3


Accessories:
She's got the stand... and that's about all she needs...
3

Overall:
Victoria gets a 3. She should have scored higher, but sadly the lack of sparkles and piss poor weak ankles have hurt her a lot!

Victoria: I will Kill you, Bella!
Edward: The power of my sparkles will defeat you!
Jacob: Is it too hard to give me a shirt! I'll even wear one of those Max Steel shirts!
Bella: I look too happy to be Kristen Stewart!

Jacob Black no longer has Corn Syrup in his veins...

Taylor "Sharkboy/Quiluete furry-pedo" Lautner is no longer Stretch Armstrong.
He may be out, but the movie is coming... The tentative Release date for Stretch Armstrong is 4/11/14...
I still don't see how this Stretch Armstrong movie will work... unless they Hollywoodize the heck out of it just like Battleship...


Well he kinda has an arch-enemy:

Stretch Armstrong also has an "Evil Twin" Wretch Armstrong... and a dog named Fetch Armstrong... (sadly I couldn't find any videos of them...) but this is starting to look like another Inspector Gadget... (Which could be one of Matthew Broderick's Worst Performances ever...)

Go Go bad movie trailer!

Now, with a Character like this who is pretty much a blank slate I expect a lot of "pseudo-depth" from Hollywood to adapt it to the "tried but true" formula of a "superhero movie"... Or basically They'll rip-off Plastic Man as much as they can legally... and I bet that a lot of people are DYING to see a Plastic Man movie... Sadly Warner only believes in Bats and Supes for DC movies... They tried Green Lantern and we know how much that sucked...

Stop! Candy TIME!!!

Finally the Candy rant/list is here. I went Trick-or-Treating as Edward Cullen...

Why? Simple: I'm already Vampire-ish pale. I had clothes that resemble the Eddiekins doll. A bit of Make up to enhance the bags under my eyes and a lot of Glitter gel and voila! I'm a Poison Fairy. I had A Classic Vampire Cape and Fangs so I could be Edward Pretending to be a Vampire. (My own little joke like the Vegetarian Vampire joke from Twilight.)

Had to deal with Twilight haters. Twihards (I was a bit of a dick to them, but that's how Sir Saparks-a-Lot rolls)

Enough About the Cullens and their lack of Vampiness. It's all about CANDY!

(Insert I want Candy Song here...)

Ok Where's the Song? Not gonna use it!

Now for the top picks on this halloween:

Worst offenders:

Halls Lozenges:

Hello! These ain't Candy!

Lozenge: a small usually sweetened and flavored medicated material that is designed to be held in the mouth for slow dissolution;especially : one that contains a demulcent lozenges>

Candy: a confection made with sugar and often flavoring and filling.

Lozenges are medication... you jerk!

Now our next offender is:

Candy Corn

I know it's a halloween classic, but it's rare to find small fun-sized packs of candy corn. So people just dump candy corn in your jack-o-lanterns. (usually after the jerk that dumps 30 cents in pennies) Mmm! coin flavored candy...

Any gummy stuff that ain't gummy bears... is our next offender. For some reason the only great tasting gummy stuff is bear shaped. (Worm shaped is good too to an extent.) The moment other shapes start showing up the gumminess is lost and sometimes the candy is either rigid or crappy tasting.

On the other hand there are more awesome candies:

First on the list:

Classic Gum Yum! It's a bit harder to find these days, but when I do I try to chew as much as I can...

3 Musketeers:

It's so light and fluffy. That's what I love about it... Especially when received on Halloween.

My Favorite candy:

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups... If I got some, I ain't sharing... Don't care if you're Bella Swan, He-Man, The Pope, or Miley Cyrus These are MY REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS! you can have the coin flavored candy corn...

Well that about cover Halloween 2010's candy run... Remember. Don't over eat it otherwise Mo-Larr will come for you.

Halloween's coming! Get your costumes ready!

I love Halloween! dressing up, getting candy, It's like going to a sci-fi convention, but with douchebags, little kids and no scalpers.
so that allows me to show off some cosplay pics... I mean these guys spend a lot of time and money to create costumes based on their favorite characters...

Casey Jones from TMNT a rather easy costume to make, but the result is cool!

Rose and Akuma from Street Fighter
We can't do a Street Fighter without Ryu

Now moving on to FFVII No Sephiroth, just Cloud... Now I'm not sure if that's a guy or a girl...
Speaking of Sephiroth... Hot Damn! I always expected the shirtless I just stole this coat form Hot Topic Sephiroth, but this is freaking AWESOME!
My favorite Kabob Girl...
looks cool when a bunch of FFVII people get together for these...

Skeletor... Overlord of Evil BTW this is a Puertorrican Skeletor... So there ARE cosplayers in Puerto Rico that don't dress up as Naruto characters...
Now this one is Jaw Dropping... Get it, Jaw Dropping, cause it's Trap Jaw... Nevermind...

Wouldn't be surprised if these keep happening... I hope the guy got some afterwards... Oh wait! Meyerpires don't get laid...

I must add that this one is awesome... RETREAT!! RETREAT!! Yes it's Cobra Commander.

Mmmmm! X-men! and Mr. Pointy claws.

A Surveillance Camera!?Solid Snake and Big Boss

Now THESE guys combined Sailor Moon AND Zombies... Words can't describe this.

Annoying retarded ninja... Believe it!!

Something Something Mitochondria, Something Something Parasite EVE

Citan Uzuki from Xenogears *grumble grumble* disc 2 should've had more playable content