Action figures, Movies, Games, TV shows, things I like, Things I hate, weird news old or recent... they're fair game for my rants.
DISCLAIMER: OPINIONS POSTED ARE EXAGGERATED FOR COMEDIC EFFECT!! Got it?
Container and other stuff. I was supposed to post this earlier, but I was miffed that Pizzaface Jr's shirt didn't come... I was wrong. It was tangled in the packing filler cardboard.
The Glow in the Dark dumpster...
How big is it?
It's big enough.
I will probably add some glow in the dark and non glow in the dark paint to make it less translucent.
The jacket is "red"... Now neo Nick looks more like a Dingus.
The drums are Jakks Pacific Molds.
The ones right there on the hall of pain.
No need for Double Dragons now...
PF Jr looks a bit better now.
I'm still missing the recycling bin from FTC, but the dumpster made me realize that an IDW Herman would be gigantic and unfeasable.
Let's be honest here. Mattel is stingy with accessories. So, accessory packs are the solution:
They used to do them with He-Man, WWE, Big Jim, Barbie... you get the idea. Well they still do with Barbie. So...
Accessory packs. We can start with the obvious stuff:
Generic ninja weaponry that can be used by turtles and foot.
Recolors of the Turtle weapons. That's 7 easy items. Add multiple kunai and shuriken. Now we have 15 items for the most basic pack.
We can have a Pizza pack with various pizza slices that form whole pizzas, whole pizzas, half pizzas, various pizza boxes (made of plastic or cardboard) bitten slices. (Obviously for Mikey)
Junk-tech pack:
Basically gimmicky gadgets and weapons made by Donatello. Spare Turtle communicators would be here. The Cheapskate (not the gigantic Playmates abomination, but a normal sized skateboard with a small engine)
4 sets minimum per customer guaranteed purchase just to have cheapskates for the 4 turtles.
Foot Armory:
If they go with the robotic foot soldiers, the earlier generic ninja weapons pack helps, but this gives us extra weapons from Dimension X to use. Generic blasters, high tech ninja weapons to distinguish the foot from the turtles weaponry... evil communicators... etc.
Mousers:
Playmates did it, NECA did it, Super7 did it...
It's obvious... also Roadkill Rodneys are a popular pack idea.
There are plenty of packs that can be made, like a premutation animal pack with said animals and ooze. A sewer marauder pack including stuff for Rat King (namely rats) and other sewer dwellers like Muckman... the point is that Mattwl should look into it.
He'll fight for freedom wherever there's trouble, GI Joe is there! GI Joe! A real American hero, GI Joe is there! It's GI Joe against Cobra and Destro, fighting to save the day! He never gives up. He's always there, fighting for freedom over land and air. Wait did I just began singing the GI Joe theme?
Well, it's Super7's Ultimates Duke.
Now you know... And knowing is half the battle.
Articulation:
If you've had older Ultimates, this has the same articulation.
There isn't much to write about other than it's functional, but not $55 functional when classified are so much better. I bought him for customizing fodder. He was like $20...
4.0
Over and out...
Paint and sculpt:
He looks like Sunbow Duke... the cartoon colors are vibrant. I've no complaints here.
5.0
All decked out... toy style plus radio.
Accessories:
Here we have a ton of stuff.
2 extra heads
Watch (careful when swapping the right hand)
6 extra hands
Cartoon rifle
Walkie-talkie
Toy rifle
Toy backpack
Toy binoculars
Toy helmet
The reason I mention toy before some stuff, because the stuff. Comes from the ye olde Hasbro toy.
5.0
Is that Lady Jaye? No... Whew! For a moment there I thought Flint would have my ass... Scarlett (VO): Aren't you forgetting about someone? You are gonna wish you didn't wake up from your coma...
Overall:
It's a shame the line died before Shipwreck... I've had issues mostly with Lady Jaye... but Duke is one of the better figures from the line. So Duke gets a 4.67 as his final score.
He is one of the folks who claims created He-Man. The guy who yelled BONG!! in The toys that made us... He was behind what we now know as Vykron. Though Mark Taylor was the one who did the whole concept of the characters... Sweet pitched the toy and Stan Lee'd his way as "creator of He-Man", while Mark Taylor got the Jack Kirby treatment.
Well, he dead... dementia side effects. My condolences to the family, ESPECIALLY since they had to deal with Dementia. I may not like the guy and his Stan Lee vibe...
Will you believe this?
Trump wants to go to space... the first US President in Space. I know what y'all thinking:
Easy there, Jimmy Kimmel... don't go making jokes like that or the fuck your feelings crowd will get butthurt.
But let's be honest here:
Donald Trump is NOT fit for a mission like that. Donald Trump is NOT the smartest tool in the shed. Otherwise he would know the obvious reasons why a President does not ride space shuttles. But here's a simple explanation:
The Challenger incident... yes the same one mentioned on Punky Brewster.
So yeah... whether you like him or not... Space Prez is a bad idea. But seriously, what the hell? Are we in a simulation and we're playing GTA6 before GTA6?
Pizzaface Jr has gotten me thinking that I can customize. Sewing soft goods resculpting 40% of a head amputating figures and giving them action features.
I got thinking what character could I make that I know it won't get made by Mattel, or anyone else tackling TMNT? The only 2 answers I could come up with were Hitler and Vulvana. By the title alone, you already guessed who I am making. I can just borrow a Super7 figure to make Hitler.
Vulvana is a challenge. Technically I'd need a 1/6 red female body. To be closer to canonical height... but they don't make those... and with $18 bucks in my pocket... and feeling lazy as fuck, I went to my usual body parts supplier.
Figures Toy Company... i may be taking a gamble here because some of their older stuff doesn't have the better quality that the new work product has... but $18 for this:
In order to make this:
All I'll need is to either locate 2 horns or sculpt them, get some thin gold or yellow ribbon and Bob's your uncle.
It's MEGO sized, which puts her slightly taller than ultimates but lose to proper scale for the Origins scale for Mattel.
The real question is: should I sculpt nipples and Vulva for Vulvana?
In a way, this is directed at Mattel, but it can also apply to other companies... Hasbro, Playmates, Jakks, Jazwares, even ridiculously expensive Super7.
I saw these online... probably buying them online, because buying them from Walmart in Puerto Rico is ludicrously expensive. The Ice cream shop is at $33-ish at Walmart. With taxes it's almost $37. Online, plus shipping and taxes ends up like $26-ish... but I digress, the point is that even at the higher Puerto Rican price, it's a mini playset.
Big companies could take a page out of this and take advantage of "small dioramas with play elements". Of course, I'd expect these hypothetical small playsets dioramas to be a bit more expensive, due to scale. Both Miniverse and its competitor Minibrands tend to be all over the place here. But the principle is similar:
Small modular playsets that can be made larger. I know I mentioned somethingnlike this exclusively for TMNT, but now I'm talking in general. Like Backstage for WWE, alleyways for Superheroes... DC could deliver a Crime Alley Playset like this... a $120 4pack with Diorama:
The Waynes and Joe Chill. In addition to the diorama. The Turtles could get alleyways, Technodrome interiors, He-Man could get Grayskull, Snake Mountain, and Eternos interiors... that's sticking to Mattel.
Hasbro can make Danger Room Dioramas with this modular idea. Arcade Murderworlds, Star Wars could benefit from this. GI Joe Classified could benefit from this.
Playmates can do various settings throughout Angel Grove... Or... the best part ever: Zord battle dioramas.
If they want to go cheaper (please don't) cardboard to the rescue.
Smaller companies can enter the game too and make small generic playsets/dioramas.
I'm gonna try and get one... guess which one it will be:
Ecce, fili faciei pizzae. Part 4 of the Pizzaface Jr. Saga. Part 3, part 2, part 1
His legs are Interchangeable. The knife is removable. Miniverse Cafe Series 4. Marshmallow cereal squares... if you're interested.
The body is Figures Toy company fan series Gary figure. Had to make the shirt from scratch since the 3 different shirts I bought didn't work. Also didn't want to disassemble the gary body, since my lack of skills wouldn't be able to put him back again.
I know I'm not skilled enough. I sadly, may suffer from Essential Tremors. Noticed it after I turned 40. This isn't a "pity me" Post. It's me coming to terms that I am no longer 23. Past my prime, over the hill with my body slowing down... I digress... a More talented customizer could take the Gary body, disassemble, modify even frankensteining with the OG Pizzaface to make an inproved version.
I still need to get the shield (on its way, maybe). I still need to get the throwable pizza or 1/12 pizzas... I don't want to sculpt them. Maybe get dollhouse bottles to slip onnthe back.
The only thing I won't be making is the mousetrap with turtle on him...
No, not that one... I mean the one by Ang Lee where Fresh Cuck faces an even Fresher Cuck.
Despite having Will Smith in it, fighting against Will Smith, The movie's actually not bad. Very predictable woth some good action scenes, but some scenes scream
There's even a boss battle where Fresh Cuck faces a Man on Fire. I'm not saying the movie ripped off a lot from metal gear. But there are many coincidences..
I didn't hate it but I didn't love it either. It was passible.
Seriously Super7 what the fuck? Why is Melodia grey?
She's supposed to look Caucasian on the paler side but not Marble Statue...
This is bad I mean Look at Melodia:
I did a crappy job with the Cellphone photo adjustment to visualize a closer to normal Melodia skintone
Her grey skintone bothers me so muc, I'm bitching about it before the actual review.
Melodia never had a figure back in the day. This is the very first Melodia figure ever... at an official capacity. The only female member of the mob and the evil counterpart to Bluegrass. Possible inspiration to Lady Gaga.
Let's get cracking.
Articulation:
Skirt limits articulation a little, but her skirt has slits. Learn, Mattel... but the shoulderpads block the articulation and...
Uh... are her arms supposed to pop off? She's not a Silverhawk that requires swappable arms.
3.5
Paint and sculpt:
The paintwork is decent.It's just the wrong colors.
Found tbe pic they used as source for colors. A Pic of her in outer space while she uses her keytar... the red energy is washing out her colors.
3.0
Accessories:
Extra head
8 Interchangeable hands
Keytar
Music Blast effect piece
Music Swoosh effect piece
Amp with wires
Walkie-talkie
She's got stuff... but it's missing something... hell even Hardware lost his Kenner bird of prey.
5.0
Kidd: *whistles* Tuna Melodia: You are welcome, kiddo... Kidd: You'll still go to jail though... *whistle* Melodia: Party pooper.
Overall:
Melodia gets a 3.83 as her final score. I'm gonna be the one who says it. The paint job and the articulation really hurt hurt her.
I will kinda take a page out of TLS and later S7 TMNT Ultimates for these variants:
Some will be plain repaints. Others will have more elements... 3 new pieces tops.
They will not necessarily make sense for the 2k3 toon...
"Retro inspired" Casey Jones:
Basically 2k3 Casey in 1990 movie colors with a soft goods vest. White shirt, grey pants, black gloves and sneakers.
"Retro inspired" April O'Neil 1:
Basically 2k3 April in 1987 toon colors with a soft goods yellow jacket. White shirt, yellow pants, white shoes. Same accessories.
"Retro inspired" April O'Neil 2:
This one needs new heads. African American heads to be precise. This one is to cater to the Black April fans. Red shirt blue pants pink shoes, making the Retro April 1 jacket in brown.
"Retro Inspired" Shredder:
Basically 2k3 Shredder painted like Super Shredder. Replacing his right hands with new bladed right hands. Ch'rell is in bright pink.
"Retro inspired" Foot Ninja:
Mirage recoloring of the Foot Ninja.
"Retro inspired" Splinter:
Splinter in 1990 Movie colors: New TCRI canister.
Now we can move on to some Turtle variants:
The "Retro inspired" Turtles are obvious. The coloring would be Mirage based.
Downtime Turtles:
In essence these are pseudo reissues. But different accessories.
Like say: Leonardo comes with one new head and sword slash effects. Donatello comes with hands holding presculpted tiny tools so he can repair equipment like the shellphones. Raphael comes with foot soldier shuriken and a practice board where his sai and shuriken can be stuck to. Mikey comes with a new open mouth head, a Pizza slice and a Justice Force comic.
If we get Human Baxter, a redeco with new heads makes an easy Chaplin.
Same as it never was Karai:
New heads with grey hair, same old Karai.
I'd be up for a same as it never was April.
Yeah! I love that future, because Jones is dead...
Says the dude made out of a Casey Jones figure with a different head.
But knowing Super7: Gimme $65 for this... No accessories only raph and the towel. Nefty (VO): Can I get an April wearing only a towel?
I used greenstuff to sculpt the pizza and a few icky bits on PFJr. I removed the right leg and sealed it mostly with hot glue to have Interchangeable pieces donated from Pizzaface. Need to get the shield and throwable pizzas to repaint and give to the figure.
Chopping the pinkie tips is not an option due to his hands. I want to keep a PF fist. So I painted them pink as regenerating flesh. I don't feel comfortable to chop tiny fingers and then sculpt the nub on the fist.
Ignore the broken leg piece. It came from the Pizzaface I bought on eBay. I got new donor legs coming. I purposely made sure the right leg was shorter. Not out of laziness, but weird accuracy to the vintage sculpt.
I may have figured out a way to make the hat... sadly won't be removable and I won't be making the tiny PF head from the prototype. It will be permanently affixed to his head. Just need to figure out the logistics of securing a soft goods piece to plastic.
I'm eying some stuff... I saw a miniverse item that has a chef's knife. I just need to figure out a loop for the apron to hold said knife. I want to get some pizzeria implements, a pizza peel, a pizza cutter, hell, I might even get a beige silicone mat to cut into dough circles to toss at enemies.
I'm waiting on a Figures Toy Company sleeveless t-shirt to see if I don't need to make more stuff for him. Hopefully it'll fit and I don't have to MacGyver a shirt.
We are getting a Klassic John Carlton figure by Todd McFarlane...
Carlton was played by Daniel Pesina.
In standard McFarlane flair, Accessories are nearly non existent:
No green energy ball... no shadows... to ne fair, I wouldn't put it past Todd to make a Translucent green Shadow Johnny as a Two pack item and a red shadow Johnny as a Target exclusive.
This promo pic worries me... I'll let you figure out why...
Assuming the Adult collector line is Masterverse sized:
April:
Origins Turtles of Grayskull has one of the Best Looking April Faces ever. I wonder what continuity they're going for. Personally, I would love to see Aprils of various continuities. Out of the Shadows and Mutants in Manhattan versions come to mind as obscure Aprils.
And yes , I would love to see live action Aprils as well, I'm referring to Hoag, Turco, and Fox... yes, you read that right.
Casey Jones:
Turtles of Grayskull gave us a nice Casey... now, Aside the Classic Caseys, Koteas and Arrow are a necessity, as well as the Mitage Casey.
Tatsu:
Here I'd like the Hyperstone Heist Tatsu. That's it, or Mattel try something original.
Hun:
Non 2k3 versions of him. Mainly the Mirage Hunter Mason and maybe IDW's and 2012?
Pizzaface:
I want the vintage, or depending how Mattel tackles an original Pizzaface. I wanna replace my bad customs with real official toys.
General Traag:
I would love to see stone Soldiers... Mainly Traag and Granitor. I'm hoping for something big bulky, almost 8 inches in size.That's what she said. This guy is not one I can cover with a puny NECA figure...
This custom by Matt Hance is amazing... that's the S7 Space Cadet Raph for size reference.
That thing is huge... And while awesome looking, I don't need a Traag this big.
Channel 6 trio:
I don't need a full entry for each of them. That's why I'm going together in one. Honestly, I'd be interested to see what Mattel would do... personally, I'd like a slightly more realistic version in case movie variants are made.
Like I could take either Irma, but if we're going "MOTUC" and combine other media with Live Action, then, I'd prefer versions that blend with Live Action for the humans...
Scaletail:
My most hated mutant. If Mattel improves on what they did with Lady Slither we could have a winner here. Personally, I would make both arms removable and give him a spare normal arm... that way, one could switch the snake arm to their preference or get a spare one and give him two snake arms.
Justice Force:
At $65 a piece, i just can't see Mr. Flynn, pumping anything out of them outside Turtle Titan. So, Mattel could do them for a lot less.
Renet, Savanti Romero, Chote, and Lord Simultaneous:
While Super7 may be able to make them, I would like to see the Mattel versions. Except Chote...
Triceratons and Fugitoid:
Reasonably priced army builder, yes please. While the NECA a figure of the fugitoid might be pretty good , I still would like to see Mattel's take on it.
Usagi:
I know, they'll need to go to former employee Stan Sakai...
Imagine a He-Man × Usagi Yojimbo two pack... an Usagi compatible with the Adult collector TMNT line AND a new He-Man as drawn by Sakai.
No, you Dingus, Miss Hancock, like John Hancock... the egocentric dude with the big Signature...
He means Hancock like the Will Smith movie...
We don't talk about Fresh Cuck here... but yeah. This is Kiebler in her Miss Hancock persona. This was the WCW, so I basically have very little knowledge of the era. I was more of a WWF guy.
I only got her because of the outfit. Hell, at the time, I didn't know it was Stacy Keibler.
Articulation:
The skirt limits her long legs.
Her skirt needed a slit in order to have her articulation as usable or... soft goods, goddammit!
Can't bend, can't dance. Only can hold clipboard and point. Also, this may be my figure only. But her left shoulder seems to be a bit stiff.
3.0
Paint and sculpt:
She .kinda looks like Stacy, but not really. .This works for messines. I don't want Stacey Keibler, I just wanted a woman in an office suit. Of course, wrestling fans will recognize her immediately. There is very little paint job on her.
4.5
Accessories:
Pointing finger hands
Clipboard
Alt. Head
Glasses
She's an elite figure according to my internet research. So the amount of accessories is appropriate. Well, I would prefer more variety in hands like fists, slapping hands, dramatic hands. Glasses holding hands, We got what we got. Ultimate Editions get a bit more stuff.
5.0
Tariff Man: I won't tell Jared if you don't tell Melania... Hancock: I'm not your daughter... I'm Stacy Kiebler, former wrestler... Tariff Man: Stacy? Your Mom has got it going on... also, can you tell tour dad to bring back the Magic Middles? Hancock: Kust call me Miss Hancock. Tariff Man: I got a weapon of Ass Destruction Hancock: Not interested. Tariff Man: Wait, which one are you? Pam, Karoline, Erika, Stormy? Hogan's Ghost (VO): She's one of mine, brother! Let her be... brother! Chuck Norris's ghost (VO): You heard your fellow Orange man Let her be... don't give material to the libs... yeah, I was MAGA. Vanilla Ice (VO): Word to your mother! Ain't that right Michelangelo? Michelangelo (VO): MAGA BITCHES DUDE!! Tariff Man: I never expected the Orange one to join MAGA. Michelangelo (VO): We Oranges need to stay united... Ain't that right, little dude... Annoying Orange: HEY! HEY DONALD! HEY! HEY! NEFTY (VO): I really need a Chuck Norris and a Vanilla Ice figure...
Overall:
Stacy Kiebler gets a 4.17 as her final score. She's decent, but honestly, the lack of a soliton, her skirt really hampers the figures potential, not to mention mine, has slightly stuck shoulders, particularly the left one.It's a bit all day way too tight side.
Pragmata is Capcom's newest game. It's not exactly a game I'd be too interested in, but it seems decent.
Here's IGN's short form review. I've seen people calling it a diet TLoU mixed with Dead Space or a Death Stranding Dad of Boi.
Feminists have taken an issue with the Android, Diana.
Essentially, they think the child looking android is too sexualized and should be made younger...
What in the Jeffrey Epstein!? "8 year old looking android looks too sexy, make it younger?" Do they even hear themselves? That's not exactly the flex they think they are. They are OK in criticizing the inevitable porn of the game. But really calling what looks like an 8 year old a "child with a model woman face" is kinda weird. Their solution of "make her look like a 4-5 year old" feels even creepier.
Meanwhile I'm looking at this game like:
So. Lore Accurate Zentreya and Henya simulator where The names have been changed to protect the innocent and dramatic effect.
Again, all I'm saying is that the approach taken to criticize this game's rule 34 art is not doing the feminists any favors.
I mean exploiting the potential for making new background characters or alternate bodies for pre existing ones.
The idea is to slowly phase out the old bodies and replace them with the newly articulated bodies:
Of course, FTC would have to invest in some tooling for some of the newer bodies: The idea is to create a Parts catalog for FTC.
Trunks body:
Female, slim males:
Red, White, blue, black, green, beige, grey for the men.
Red, white, pink, light blue, yellow, black for the women
This would require new trunks and upper legs for the women
New body for the men.
The idea behind these bodies is to make Boxer/MMA Fighter and have some other options in clothes for fans/crew/etc.
I forgot the fat folks:
Shirtless trunks body with the MMA and boxer options. Fat women would require a sleeveless fat top with shirtless lower torso. (Cutting tooling costs)
Spandex clad bodies:
In the case of the females, it needs a new torso and feet without features. For the males it would need a new crotch and "naked thighs" and featureless feet. That way folks can create their own wrestlers/heroes/villains.
Wrestler bodies:
Essentially the spandex bodies in speedos, shirtless for the guys bikinis or bikini top and tights for the women.
COPS:
I used this intro instead of
Because of obvious reasons... but they could sell bare bones cop bodies Both hands are trigger hands (extra hands and heads sold separately).
We can get black cops this way.
Flat top head, crew cut head, bald head, mustache head (Both black and white)
Detectives:
Using variations of the announcer bodies and other parts we could get detectives...
From fashionable styles like 80s Miami detectives, to mire slovenly gumshoe types.
Those bodies could be used differently...
Kids 2.0:
I had to use a Mattel Chelsea Dress to make Kaylee less tomboyish. FTC can kinda fix this with new kid bodies.
For the girls, new upper legs with bare thighs... the new crotch piece would be unisex. Basically the crotch would have a slot in front and back that a skirt overlay with tabs can be glued on.
This could also be used for overalls overlay that can be used for bith boys and girls. (Past rants I even mentioned the potential for ballerinas.)
With the overalls, long pants for the kids becomes a choice. The idea is to have more clothing differences and to bring ethnic diversity...
This opens up heads, repainted or new for new kids.
Maybe FTC could look at soft goods items to help some figures out.
Their plastic dresses are bad... but the soft goods dress of the older announcer is miles better.
I am a soft goods convert... and I can't believe I'm saying this.
Soft goods opens up plenty of opportunities.
Heads:
Some complaints about the fan line is that they're cartoony... so:
A Realistic Head pack to test the waters would be great... then the reverse could be made for the crew and law enforcement lines.
