Top 10 things I'd like to see in BND's sequel

 I mentioned that BND has many comic references. I missed out mentioning Big Man...

So with the ending of Spider-Man being off-world... let's tackle what I'd like to see:

10: Real Black Suit:

Black suit looking comic book accurate... lookinf like a black suit, not a chitinous armor 

9: Sin Eater set up:

We have a Jean DeWolffe we need a Sin Eater, settong up the fall of Eddie Brock on the sequel

8: Big Wheel unrelated to the main plot scene:

Self explanatory. A whole action scene being a filler to pad time and have trailer bait shit.

7: MCU cameos:

Preferably Kamala Khan, Kate Bishop, just not Riri... cause fuck the insufferable Ironheart. 

6: MCU's Kraven the Hunter:

Not Kickass... Maybe combining Kraven's Last Hunt with The Other or "Neogenic Nightmare"

5: Iceman and Firestar cameos:

It's self explanatory...

4: Spider Armor:

Perhaps trying to make his own iron suit.

3: Clones:

Oh I want an MCU Ben, and Kaine.

2: MCU Hobgoblin:

We skip Norman Osborn shenanigans and have Roderick Kingsley... we can tie in Ned's energy drink addiction...

1: The MCU Counterpart to Doc Ock:

Fuck you ai love Doctor Octopus 

Marvel Cosmic Invasion: Shredder's Revenge but with Marvel.

 The game feels VERY Shredder's Revenge-like... Not because it's made by the same people tht made Shredder's Revenge. It's because it feels very respectful of the universe and characters. It gives off a Marvel Animated series vibe, just like Shredder's Revenge was a love letter to the 1987 TMNT. 

Wolverine is Cal Dodd, Jean Grey is Jennifer Hale and Spider-Man...

Is Meowtacular... Seriously, Josh Keaton has played Spider-Man AND Spider-Man ersatz characters. He even played a Spider-Man inspired villain in DC. 

I haven't gotten the Penis and Thing DLC...  I will later. Bills come first. 

So the rant won't be a review but a top 12 Wanted DLC characters:

12: Johnny Storm:

We got The Thing and his temporary replacement on the F4, She-Hulk... It makes sense to have Torch... also one of Spidey's buddies.

11: Iceman:

Frank Welker needs to voice him in the gayest Fred Jones voice he can do.

I don't think I'll add Firestar.

10: Reed Richards:

His stretching and reshapingcould provide some cool moves. The story is F4 heavy, so let's get as many of the F4 in it.

9: DareDevil:

Street Level Hero... self explanatory. Perfect for a beat-em up.

8: Shang Chi: 

Master of Kung Fu... literally made for a Beat-em up.

7: Iron Fist: (Danny Rand)

Same reason as DD and Shang Chi.

6: Nick Fury Sr.:

Needs to be voiced by The Hoff. A nice way to bring Gunplay without bringing Castle.

5: Hulk:

We have She-Hulk, we need the OG Hulk, because Hulk Smash

4: Sue Storm:

I said Bring the Fantastic Four and I wasn't gonna put Richards in 4... the joke works better in Spanish. Giggity! 

3: Nightcrawler:

Sword, teleports. Perfect...

2: Wonderman:

For the sake of having some Avengers representation.

1: Gambit:

Stick, cards... if we get Chris Potter to voice him again, we're golden.

Honorable mentions:

Dazzler, Black Cat, Namor, Hawkeye, Punisher, Colossus, and Vision...

You all should know why. They all have appeared in past Marvel beat-em up games.

Am I supposed to feel excited about Avengers Doomsday?

  Because here's the Trailer:

And despite this being a mega huge event: it's giving me Watch it at home on February 2027 or whenever Disney+ drops it. I wanted to be excited... but it felt like a PowerPoint presentation for the cast 

Videogame news... April 28 the MOTU Beat-em' up!

 We have a date and I have a boner!

She-Ra is the final playable character... Hopefully the game gets a Great Rebellion DLC with Bow and Glimmer.

But Limited Run games has a surprise for us...

Marvel and Konami... 

giving us X-Men the Arcade game... you know, the beat-em' up game based on the Pryde of the X-Men animated pitch... it's back! Also, Data East's Captain America and the Avengers... nice...

But we are also getting Spider-Man and X-Men Arcade's Revenge. Ugh... that's a shitty game from LJN... LJN!? Please God, if you are good let this collection have it... please!

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ! It DOES HAVE IT!! and it's not alone. The meh sequel is here too.

Silver surfer is in this too...

X-Men the Arcade Game AND Maximum Carnage are reason enough to get it...

Now here comes the part where I'll bitch and moan:

We need a Spider-Man collection... maybe bringing the SEGA Spider-Man games, the old Gameboy games... The Animated series games...

Also, would be nice to get the Activision Spidey games... 

Toycember bonus: it came from the Toy Chest: It's Brie Larson's

 

Captain Marvel Sutnt Double. Seriously, the figure looks like Brie from 20ft. That's like 6 meters for the Euro folk. I had to get that out of my way. This was on super duper clearance at BBTS. I think I paid like $13 for her. Sorry, $12.60. From the $25+ MSRP 2019 Marvel Select Figures had.

I won't go into describing the character, because blegh... disclaimer: The review contains a fictional story with poor caricatures of existing people. They're not to be taken seriously.

Ok: articulation... let's do that! 

Easy there, Jay Sherman! Carol's articulation is good only on paper. The execution, it stinks!

Her shoulders are blo ked by her pauldrons. Her elbows have less than 90° range. Super loose ankles.

3.5

Brie: Wait, aren't you The GameDude of the MuTeens? The one with videogame powers?
Nick: Aren't you?
Brie: Brie Larson, from Captain Marvel?
Nick: I was thinking Running Wild with Bear Grylls.
Brie: Yeah, that too! I am a Huge Metroid Fan! I wanna feel what is like being inside the Morphball. I'll give you a 3D replica of my pussy.

So her articulation is a mixed bag. Her knees are double-jointed, ratcheted and tight. Hips are a bit loose. But let's move to the dreadful part...

Nick: No way! I'm not gonna fall for some MeToo bullshit!
Brie: But it's right here!
Ashley VO: Dingus! She has a 3D replica of the Cat that fucked up Nick Fury's motherfucking eye! She's allergic to real cats.
Nick: I'll let you have the Samus experience, but you must fuck a friend of mine.
Brie: That sounds like some Weinstein MeToo story. How about Motorboating and some butt grabbing? 
Nick: I'll throw in Screw Attack, and Shinesparking, but only if you give him a clothes on lap dance where you Bounce on it! *inhales* CRRRRRRRRRAZY STYLE! Maybe even farther on it a little bit! That would make him goon!
Brie: Through clothes. No nudity involved.
Nefty-kun VO: DO NOT WANT!!

The only positive thing I can say is that her paint job is pretty good. I don't see any sloppiness on the sculpting. On the other hand well she doesn't not look like Brie Larson at all.

3.0

Brie: I'm going to regret this.
Nefty-kun VO: Join the club! I wanted Queen Amidala, not Scott Pilgrim's ex.
Brie: The things I do for Samus.
Nefty-kun VO: The things I do for Yu-Gi-Oh!

The alternate head looks a bit better.But that's just a helmet with only an exposed mouth. Let.

's talk about the accessories which are the saving grace of the figure.

She has her Flerken, the alternate head. I didn't take pics of her with it unbecause.I cannot remove the vanilla head and i'm not gonna break the figure. She's got 8 extra hands. A bit of an overkill, but it is what it is. 

She also possesses not one, not two, but Three Display Stands. Clear stand to have her hovering... black standing stand and diorama flight stand as she's barely exploding into the sky.

Brie: Fuck this shit I'm put! I'm not going to get groped by an incel fat fuck who wants to play Yu-Gi-Oh!
Nefty-kun VO: Whoa! Did you just not only body shamed me, but reverse slut shamed me!? You are going to get canceled!

By sheer number she gets a 5.0 but I have complaints especially with the stands. The flightstand puts her in an awkward situation with her weak ankles. With the clear stand i'm afraid it's gonna break at the middle joint , which is ridiculously stiff and hard to move.

For the love of Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, use the Alternate head when posing her floating. Otherwise she looks like she was hung... hanged. Sorry ESL... sorry about the mental image of a Horsedicked Futa-Brie. Seriously, sculptor fucked up! She looks as depressed as FutureCanoe's voice.

Her overall score is a 3.83, which could've been better if the articulation was better. Or her face looked like her.

Nefty-kun: bdlbdldbdlbdlbdlbdlbdldbl!
Brie: Wow, you must be pretty desperate to be Motorboating me so enthusiastically. You love my ass so much by the way you're caressing it.
Nefty-kun: Done!
Brie: What do you mean Done!? I haven't gooned!
Nefty-kun: Deal was that I was supposed to Motorboat you and play with your ass so you could feel what it's like to be Samus.
Brie: But did you goon?
Nefty-kun: Didn't even get a half-chub.
Brie: Oh no! You're gonna keep touching me and rubbing yourself on me until you jizz in your pants! I NEED YOU TO CUM FOR ME! 
Nefty-kun: Because you want me, or because of your ego?
Brie: Ego. I'll even strip to my underwear if it helps.
Nefty-kun: Look, Cheese theft. It's not me, it's you. While yes, you are an attractive llooking ady when you aren't being an insufferable twat, you just make me more flaccid than thinking of a retirement home orgy. You could punish me by sitting on my face and force me to lick your snatch and I would remain impotent as El Puma without Viagra. And scene!
Nick VO: Damn, Creepy Nefty... you were savage.
Nefty-kun: Well, it helps knowing that it wasn't the real Brie Larson and it was just your Ro-butler Jenny.
Jenny VO: I haven't even started yet.
Brie: Insufferable twat you said? Better an insufferable twat than getting kicked in the nards!
*kick*
Nefty-kun: ¡coño! ¡Me cago en la crica del Diablo coño!
Brie/Jenny: Gotcha! We can't afford to invite the real Brie for this! Besides, she wouldn't be that desperate!
Nefty-kun: screw you guys, I'm going home! Screw you guys! Home!

Buuuuuuub! Insomniac Wolverine trailer revealed

 Holy Asscrackers!

The only thing it could've given me a bigger boner would've been Cathal Dodd... or Scott McNeil playing Wolverine.

Wonder if it'll be Mission based or Open world...

So much gore. Last time I felt like wolverine was when I sadly strangled my Scott Summers to Jean Grey... Not telling you if it was Famke or Sansa...

Mr. Stark, I don't know what's going on!?

 I haven't seen Ironheart... it's no secret that I'm not a fan of Riri Williams. Not in the comics, nor in BP2: Guakanda por siempre. Title written in Spanish so the Loveless Child can understand. So, yeah. I still have to watch Ironfart on Disney plus...

In other news, Stardust's theme goes with Everything. After we got some Polka Dots on Tuesday... Now we get a Guile on this shitstorm.

Getting distracted. No. I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. Again.

I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. It's how the character was written, where I have issues.

When she started she was a caricature of an entitled social justice warrior. Her origin seems almost like a supervillain story. She even became a Latverian Dictator for like 5 minutes. She sounds like a badly written fanfoc character.

What?

Nothing. As I was saying: Ironheart revealed a HUGE Marvel Villain.

If we follow the comics, Tom Holland renounced Zendaya in order to save Marissa Tomei.

That's right. Mephisto is now Ali G. Shit, I gotta watch Ironfart now. 

A fantastic 4 food review.

Pic from my box. It's in Spanish so you know it's sourced locally.

 I Got the fantastic four pizza from Little Caesars. It tasted like a Little Caesars pizza. But I have complaints. Gee, what else is new? 

Before I get unto the nitty gritty, my pizza had a pale bottom. We could be the pale bottom twins. If I have to use a pizza steel to reheat the pizza to get some tanned bottom on the pizza, you failed. But to be fair it happens at times to all pizza chains.

Good thing Ben was born normal and became The Thing as an adult. If you know Jew know...

Putting Ben Grimm's foreskin jokes aside, he is of the Jewish faith. Little Caesars is most definitely NOT Kosher.

$10.⁹⁹ in Puerto Rico + taxes.

Also, Ben wouldn't be able to eat this pizza.

Pepperoni on one side, Italian Sausage and Bacon on the other. Jews can't mix meat and dairy, but the most offensive meat to them is Pork, because it's unclean as fuck! What I'm getting at is that each quarter of the pizza represents A member of the fantastic four.

1. Sue is pepperoni because she likes the Richards Sausage (and Namor's, and T'Challa's. Hell, she even tried using Parker to make Richards jealous.)
2. Johnny is similar to Sue's because siblings. His has Jalapeños because he's Flamin' on! Not sure about the Pepperoni though. Are they saying the new non-womanizing Johnny is gay? Spoilers maybe?
3. Then Reed has Italian Sausage and Bacon. Maybe the sausage is a nod to Victor's scarring and how his face ended up looking like spam after he put the hot Doom armor? The Bacon is his inability to save Ben.
4. Ben is plain cheese because he can't have the best pizza toppings due to his Jewish faith.

Don't get me wrong.It was a decent pizza for a Little Caesars.Pizza; it just doesn't make sense for the fantastic four... from a comic book nerd perspective.

Marvel Guilty Gear... ArcSys is now doing a spiritual successor to Marvel Superheroes:

 But it'll be 4v4... One More than Marvel vs Capcom 2 and 3.

So far we have Gundam Drunk, Douchebag America, an Amalgamation of Ghost Riders, a Sexy Storm. A Crisp Rat pretending to be Starlord, Anorexic Iman Vellani, Jigoku Kara no Shisho Insomuniakku Suupaidaman!! and Doctor Doom with a Furry cloak.

I hate the designs aside Storm, but I may get this game because finally an ArcSys game that caught my interest.

Hopefully we can get Spidey Villains that aren't Alien Goo based... I want Doctor Hentaicles! For the love of God, CLASSIC COSTUMES!

Captain Falcon: Mid New World

 So, I watched Captain America 4: Brave New World. I feel the movie did Anthony Mackie dirty.  It TRIED to be the next Winer Soldier, but it fell flat. It wasn't Anthony Mackie's fault. He delivered a great performance. Even Harrison Ford went above Phoning it in. Which is weird, since Ford has been phoning it in for the past 10 years.

But I blame the script. The movie tried to be Cap 2, but it was all over the place. Cap FEELS unimportant to the plot. The only Cap Villain, played by Giancarlo Esposito.

The villains were The Leader and Thaddeus Ross. You know, Hulk Villains. We had a non-mutant Sabra, possibly a Mutate via the Red Room program. 

The promotion made Red Hulk a prominent character and he was barely in the movie. The Leader reveal was far to early and was borderline pointless. As a piece he was taken off the board so swiftly and forgotten. The post credits scene was pointless, since we've been dealing with Multiversal threats since No Way Home. We had Loki Seasons 1 and 2, Doctor Strange in the MoM, and last but not least Deadpool and Wolverine. Then we have the upcoming Fantastic Four, which speaks of the Multiversal characters hopping across universes.

But here's the thing.This movie should have been a Hulk movie that happens During the five years of Thanos's snapping. Getting a green haired Samson, having the journey to Smart Hulk. Having Hulk and Ross reach peace and maybe even Bruce seeing Betty one last time. Feels like wasted potential.

It's not a bad movie, but don't get me wrong.It's not great either. I like it but...

I'm glad that I waited to watch It on Disney plus and not spend 16 to 20 bucks at the movie theater... otherwise I'd be pissed.

Shredder's Revenge: Marvel Edition

 Oh wow... it has Cap, Wolverine, Storm, Nova, Phylla-Vell, and Venom. The weirdest thing is that no members of the fantastic 4 seem to be in this game.... especially when the big bad is Annihilus, a Fantastic Four enemy.

I get Nova and Ms. Vell being In the game as they're cosmic characters. But seriously, No Fantastic Four?

Ah, MUGEN folks will cream their pants with new sprites to rip...

Movie Theater ceiling collapses in Captain America showing

 Seems like Red Hulk smashed too hard. The funniest part is that there were only two people at the showing.

Most of the internet is using this to showcase how bad the new movie is. But I'm willing to bet that it was a matinee showing...

It was on an Actual Tuesday! How can you top that! Luckily none of the two people were hurt. Not to mention that it happened on a slow day and on a showing with very little people at the seats.

In any case, I think I'm gonna watch the movie at home once it hits Disney+, just to be safe. 

Captain Falcon vs Senile General Ross: a rant

 I'm NOT going to watch it on theaters because I don't feel like it. No, it has nothing to do with Anthony Mackie being black. I simply don't think I should spend $20+ on a movie I'm not that interested in watching. Same thing applies to the Thunderbolts. 

Both of those movies are screaming: "Watch it on Disney+." Fantastic Four, I MAY see at theaters after I watch Superman, but I might end up watching it on D+. 

I'm not a fan on how they're introducing Adamatium, as it means that Weapon X is not a project attempting to Remake Captain America.

Hell, I'm not a fan of Red Hulk. Even if the movie was starring Chris Evans as Captain America, the movie itself doesn't excite me as much as say: First Avenger, Winter Soldier, or Civil War.

But to be fair, it's not just Marvel. It's moviegoing in general. 

I still won't like Pedro Pascal as Reed

 But Fantastic 4 might be the only MCU movie. I'll see this year at the movie theaters... right after James Gunn's Superman.

Before the movie comes out, I'm gonna say it right now.There will be a bunch of Gen.Z tik tok morons Claiming that fantastic four is a bad knock off of the incrediblesClaiming that fantastic 4 is a bad knock off of The Incredibles... I mean for the game Marvel Rivals. They claimed that Mr. Fantastic was ripping off Luffy from One Piece. Everyone knows that fantastic.Four came in the  sixties while One Piece came many years later. 

We have HERBIE, the most hated Member of the Fantastic Four. Galactus is Galactus and It's not a cloud. Doctor Doom, I feel so good. Please don't fuck it up...

Really? Again, this inspires very little faith in IRONHEART

 Allegedly this tweet is a first scoop on Ironheart.

Assuning this is true, then my only reaction is:

I'm not saying the show will be bad, but when you start with "Riri Williams is Bisexual" .You're just begging for people to complain.  There's so much you can share in a tweet, let's say: are the VFX good, is there some stellar performances, the story so far is engaging... even the whole "will have same tones as Ms. Marvel" tells far more about the show than "Riri is bi". 

To be fair I KINDA liked Ms. Marvel, but I had some issues with the show and I'm afraid of the campiness ruining the show. With the whole Ms. Marvel tones, I'm afraid that we'll rarely see Riri in armor.

Wait, Agatha All Along got released? Better watch it then.

Marvel, you fucked up...

 I love RDJ. He was an amazing Tony Stark, but you killed him off. Why the fuck are you bringing him back as Doctor Doom!?

I know Robert Downey Jr. is one hell of an actor and he will kick ass as Doctor Doom. The only problem is that he already was Ironman. 

There are other actors that could do Doom justice: 

Nicolas Cage, James Franco, I was going to say Mads Mikkelsen but apparently he was in Doctor Strange... Cillian Murphy... Personally, I would've chosen Mikkelsen, but Dammit, Dr. Strange... so I'd pick James Franco... but y'all picked RDJ...

In any case let's see how this develops.

Capcom is doing something Awesome for Switch and PS4:

 I have a Massive Erection right now. 7 games with 6 of them being sprite based... Fighting games part of the Marvel Vs. SERIES!! For X-Men: Children of the Atom all the way to Marvel vs Capcom 2.

Th final game is Punisher... the beat'em-up game where you can play as Frank Castle or Nick's Fury. Yes these are the same games from the arcade 1-up cabinet. Now you can play all this games for a lot cheaper than getting the arcade cabinet. Sure. It looks cool to have an arcade cabinet. But that takes too much space, while a disk takes a lot less. In any case, this is a game collection I'm looking forward to...

McFarlane is making Marvel statues

 Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn, is making Marvel Statues. That is all. These statues will be in the 1:6 and 1:10 scales. Fuck you Todd and fuck that bullshit! Not only does McFarlane makes his figures hard to get, but these are goddamned statues. Big hard Pass.

Speaking of Todd McFarlane non-updates. He's trying to pitch in his Spawn reboot now mostly penned by the writer of Not Joker and Not Joker 2: with more Lady Gaga. McFarlane is trying to bank on the theoretical success of Deadpool and Wolverine and Not Joker 2 for studios to come running to him for a Spawn movie. He still wants to direct, of course.

No, Todd. By you being the director, you're scaring off producers. You need a director with experience. I'm hating myself for saying this, but Zack Snyder is the right man for directing this. The only problem will be both your egos and who can outedge the other, but at least Snyder has a catalog of edgelord movies on his belt. With the way things are going, I have more faith on the MOTU movie getting made than Spawn.

Fantastic four Cast is here.

I have no issues with the cast except...

Pedro fucking Pascal. Now, it's not anything Personal against the guy, but I feel like he's being overused. After Oscar Isaac dropped out of Metal Gear, people began screaming for Pascalsnake... Pascal is close to 50 and Snake is supposed to be 33 by the time of Shadow Moses. He might be a bit too old to play Reed if we're going for another 10 year set of phases. 

But it's more of a Pedro Pascal overexposure thing. I'm seeing his face everywhere. I'm afraid of being intimate with a girl, I close my eyes for a sec and Surprise, It's Pedro fucking Pascal wearing a wig! I'm terrified of going to the Bathroom and Pedro fucking Pascal shows up Skibidi Toilet style. At least they discontinued Alpha Bits, otherwise I'd see him in my cereal!!

I'm afraid for X-men 97, but what we need is

 Spider-Man 98'... I know, I know... The show was hyper censored, but now that some stuff has changed we can actually have Spudey throw a punch.

I'm also aware that Linda Gary, Rue McClanahan, Ed Asner and Efrem Zimbalist Jr. Are no longer with us. But if X-men is getting a closure, then So does Spider-Man. It would be great to have Spidey and Mary Jane reunite and gove him the closure he deserves... then again, current Marvel is Spider-Man's biggest Supervillain. Oh no, I just imagined YAS Tackling Civil War and combining it with Identity Crisis and One More Day with Dormammu replacing Mephisto. Sadly Nick Jameson retired from Voice Acting.

The reason I'm talking Spider-Man and not X-men is that the trailer came out and I'm torn.

It's not bad, but it's current era Marvel and I feel they're gonna fuck it up somehow.

For those of us who watched EQUIS MEN!! Here's the Spanish dubbed trailer.

I'm disappointed that the EX-MEN ARE NOT EQUIS MEN!! 

And here's the original intro to EQUIS MEN... the dubbed names are Cringe as Hell, but Nostalgia Goggles.