Aug 29, 2021

Ed Asner has been seen by Haley Joel Osment

 Was 91 years old at the time of his passing. As always my condolences to the family. Johnny Lawrence's step-dad, Sid will not appear on Cobra Kai's season 5.  The Gargoyles have lost Hudson... Russell lost Carl Fredricksen... we lost the best J Jonah Jameson... sure JK Simmons is good, but Ed Asner was the equivalent of Kevin Conroy to Batman for JJJ, but we now won't be able to have a proper Freakazoid! Revival since we lost Cosgrove 

Wait he was Uncle Ben in Spectacular Spider-Man... Damn, he's been in a lot of stuff than I remembered. May you find peace, Mr. Asner and Thank You for your work!

Aug 28, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Cowabunga Dudes!!

 Best Turtle is in the House, yo! But I guess you already knew that since he featured in the April and Metalhead reviews. Of course I'm talking about Michelangelo aka the party dude.
Usually he's known as the youngest turtle, the artist, the one who is holding back his own potential, the goofball. In the Neftyverse, he's the horndog as well and thanks to this Oprah interview for the Coming out of their Shells tour, Raph and Mikey wanting to have an interspecies relationship with April IS CANON!
But enough talk, dudes! Let's review the most radical Turtle!
Fake chains

Like the previous 2 Turtles and the upcoming Donatello, Michelangelo shares the same body. The only real differences are heads and belts. My Mikey is a little bit wobbly below the belt.
Real chains

Paint and sculpt
The sculpting on this figure is really great especially the new parts in comparison to his vintage counterpart. Everything that I've said on Leonardo and Raphael in this area applies to Michelangelo as well. Sadly Super 7 started to cut corners on this wave and the paint applications Michelangelo are somewhat lacking. I fixed his belt with a little silver paint. Sadly the orange on his vintage head bled a little bit onto the face.
Bendy wire can fix the grappling hook.
Longer wire can allow action poses.

Like previous Turtles he comes with plenty of accessories, but I have a couple of complaints... Nefty complaining? What else is new?
Michelangelo has a pizza box with a slice of pizza that cannot be removed from the box. The one Turtle with Crippling Pizza Addiction CANNOT TAKE THE SLICE FROM THE BOX!! 
He has the grappling hook. Like the SH FIGUARTS Mikey, the Grappling hook has a REALLY SHORT ROPE. The Bendy wire holding Michelangelo to the tray is far longer than the rope that Super7 gave him. I had bought some black twine to tie to the grappling hook but my cat got to it before I could do anything and now my cat is pooping twine... 

2 pairs of nunchucks
Extra head
2 shuriken
1 kama
1 pushknife
1 grappling hook
1 pizza box from Hell
1 weapons rack vintage sprue tree
6 extra hands
April: What are you doing, Michelangelo?
Mikey: I see Britain, I see France, I see April's underpants!
April: As exciting as my panties might be, you need to stand up, Mikey... I have a surprise for you!

Aside my issues with the grappling hook and a pizza box there isn't much to complain about Michelangelo. Sure, some might point out the lack of communicator, but chances are that I won't display the communicators... until I can make that dream sewer diorama that hasn't left the planning stage due to lack of time and space. I still haven't reviewed Snake Mountain yet... mostly out of fear...
POP April: I might be the shortest April, but I'm at the perfect height for fun!
Movie April: I will give you the most REAL experience you'll ever have with a REAL WOMAN!!
S7 April:  He's mine, you Live Action hussy!
Custom April: Like hell you're taking advantage of Michelangelo! That's MY JOB!!
Toon April: Hurry up and eat that pizza so we can have our orgy!
Mikey: An April Orgy... in August!? I MUST BE IN HEAVEN!! WAIT! I CAN'T TAKE THE PIZZA...

But back to Mikey. There are tons of things they could have added to Michelangelo, but what they added is the bare minimum to have a decent Michelangelo figure...
Mikey: This isn't Heaven!
Super Shredder: Kon'ya wa kame no sūpu de shokuji o shimasu!!
Mikey: DO NOT WANT!!!

Michelangelo gets a 4.5 as his final score. Paint and articulation issues where what hurt him in the long run. Hopefully the second of Michelangelo that I have coming will not have paint issues on the face so I can swap heads. And since I know you will ask the second set is to take the mother heads and use them as placeholders for the 2003 Turtles. Yes the pads and belts will be painted brown.

This wave was OK, but the cutting corners hurt it a bit more than expected. This worries me, as the items keep going on in price and in many cases not getting enough value.

Daniella Pineda wants Cowboy Bebop to fail

 By criticizing fans who complained about the Adaptation getting the character wrong.

If I recall correctly, Ms. Valentine is Singaporean, meaning that she's Asian, not Latina. Also, Ms. Valentine's 5 feet 6 inches tall, not 6 feet as Pineda claims. So her "short ass" is the only thing they got close to correct.

Her outfit argument is also bullshit.

Somehow her skirt being yellow like her top and having white boots is suddenly unrealistic. Unless her crevices love to munch on the color yellow. I made crude MSPaint changes to what they could've done to reach a reasonable compromise on the outfit to make it "realistic" yet "respectful of the source material". But wait, I could've sworn that one of the writers already mentioned that from the get go, Faye's outfit was going to be changed... so who's lying here?

Faye's outfit is nothing like say Cammy's outfit...

Kylie Minogue wore BOTH versions of the Cammy outfit. The "game accurate" one for The Game based on The Movie and her Movie version that had her green outfit now blue and pants. Even though the movie made some changes, her outfit still honors the original design far better than the "game accurate" one. Longer gloves, camo print on her legs are key design elements from the game that the "game accurate" version just "forgot".  But unlike Cammy's outfit, the changes in Faye's outfit could've been made more palatable to fans by switching the color pallette. They go out of their way to make Spike and Jet as Accurate as possible but with Faye it seems like they barely tried. But returning to the main issue. This Adaptation hasn't been released and she's already attacking the fandom for all the wrong reasons. It's things like these that makes people not want to see the show AFTER being disappointed by dumb changes. Especially when giving flimsy excuses. How can a yellow skort be "unrealistic" but a black one is "realistic"? 

Aug 27, 2021

It came from the toy chest: I'm going to mngle you green slimballs

TMNT TiT reference from the SNES game. Stage 2 Alleycat Blues boss, Metalhead. Robotic Turtle. Originally made by Krang as the ultimate Anti-Turtle Weapon with an amalgamation of the 4 turtles' brainwave patterns. IIRC there's a bit of April and Shredder in it as well. Thing is that Metalhead originally was built as an enemy, but Donatello (who does machines) hacked Metalhead and turned it into The Maid... (insert Arnold joke here) 
Nefty: Is it safe to let Mikey mess with Metalhead? We can wait for Donatello.
Raph: He comes in December. Can you wait that long?
Nefty: Dude, it took me 6 crushes dating 13 girls including a vegan just to get over my second grade crush... 
Raph: You really need to learn to let things go and move on...
Nefty: Everyone says the same thing...
Leo: BROTHERS!!! And Nefty...
Raph: This is not the time for making Cam Clarke references... Mikey is activating Metal...
Nefty: GEAR!?
Raph: Why did you do that?
Mikey: I'm turning on the robot, no homo.
Leo: You could've said I'm turning the robot on...
Raph: It still sounds gay.
Nefty: ix nay on the aygay okesjay...

Like its NECA Counterpart, this Metalhead is heavily influenced by the toon, but unlike NECA, this one is heavily influenced by rhe vintage toy on the design.
Leo: Weapons ready, guys...
Mike: You guys REALLY don't trust me?
Nefty: Do we have to answer that?
Raph: Seems like the common consensus is No.
M-Head: Interlocks activated. Dynotherms connected. Megathrusters are go!

Personal story time... as a child of divorced parents, my old man had visitation weekends and stuff. He usually ended bribing me with $4.99 items made by Playmates toys. For some reason or other we ended up at a Toys R Us where there was supposed to be an event with costumed characters. I missed out on the event for some reason or other. I was SUPER pissed off.  I remember a lot of sulking and brooding, not to mention saying that the situation was bullshit. My consolation prize was Metalhead. 
M-Head: Activating Combat Mode!!
Everyone else: Crap!

The first few weeks, I HATED Metalhead because he was a reminder of how much that day sucked... little did I know that far worse days lied ahead...  but shiny, glowy eyes and brain slowly suckered me in.
M-Head: Fellow Chucker program is go!
Mikey: Holy asscrackers! It worked!
Everyone else: What do you mean It worked!?
Mikey: Well, I kinda did some tinkering on his code.

Aside the lower legs (due to a sculpted wire on a non-moving part that's  attached to a moving part.) With the figure being top heavy, you need to adjust the legs and the wire might snap from harsh articulation usage... kinda like it happened to LJN's Hammerhand figures from Thundercats. He's also VERY LOOSE at the hips.
April: Hey guys! Uh, what's with the Robo Turtle?
M-Head: Chikan Mode Activated!!
Nefty: Wait... I've heard that term before...
Raph: A man of culture, I see...
April: Chicken mode? What's that?
Leo: Chikan... basically, the Robot is going to molest you...
April: Guys, do something!

Paint and sculpt
We were NEVER going to get vac Metal... thank goodness. The gold is rather shiny from certain angles. Thenonly real issues I have with the sculpt are the wires mentioned in articulation and the hand pegs being so thin that I'm afraid to use the robo nunchuck accessory since he has an issue standing while wearing his heavy backpack. The light piping works, but I couldn't catch it on camera.

Here is where Metalhead fails
5 extra hands
Extra head
2 robo nunchucks 
2 grenades... (not featured on review because I'm prone to lose them to a crafty feline.)
Vintage rack.
Possible problematic issue...

It sounds like he has a lot but at the same time he doesn't. The way Super7 had the hands engineered, they couldn't give us the "rocket punches" from the arcade game and cartoon. 

Also, the robo nunchucks are wrong since thwy should pop at the elbow.

Not at the wrist... but mutagen man doesn't hold ooze...
April: That's for letting the robot incredibly close to raping me!
Nefty: Oww! Why are you hitting me, if it was Mikey who programmed him!?
April: Because the Turtles are my friends and you're a pervert!
Nefty: Can I at least do something perverted to actually EARN the slap!?

Metalhead gets a 3.83 as his final score. They got so many things right yet so many things wrong. 
I don't HATE him, but I'm disappointed. I knew he wasn't gonna have a ton of stuff but he feels more barren than Rocksteady and Bebop.

Aug 25, 2021

Hey what the!? Nirvana baby suing Nirvana

 You know the Nirvana album with the baby swimming following a dollar? Well the baby is now suing Nirvana... or what's left of it, and all the past and present owners of Nirvana's music... the reason?  It sounds like "Child Corn-nopegraphy" despite the fact that there is nothing sexual about the photo. The guy is asking for $150,000 PER defendant, and he's named a bunch of people. He is literally a 30 year old baby chasing a quick buck. 

His parents got a "bad deal" with just $200... and the platinum album plaque that can be sold as memorabilia. Not to mention that the kid himself has gone back to do multiple recreations of the cover, Tattoo the Album's name on himself and basically running on the fame of being the "Nirvana Baby". For something "so traumatic" he surely has milked the hell out of it.
So much exploitation...
Something doesn't add up here. If this was so traumatic, why would he tattoo a permanent reminder of it? Or why would he keep reenacting the traumatic experience?

It’s strange that I did this for five minutes when I was 4 months old and it became this really iconic image. …. It’s cool but weird to be part of something so important that I don’t even remember.”

He doesn't remember anything horrible happening. It was a 5 minute shoot that his parents were compensated for. He has willingly done many recreations throughout the years, and as stated before he has tattooed himself the Album's title on himself to renind EVERYONE that he's the "Nirvana baby"... apparently he's also an artist.

As you can see, he's an artist... his style is not something I like, but there is some discipline there. But artists of his caliber are a dime a dozen. The only "advantage" he has over other artists if his caliber is that HE IS THE NIRVANA BABY... and HE KNOWS IT. That's why he tried to get Nirvana to contribute or promote his art show a few years back, but they didn't. That's what started his "bad blood" against Nirvana.

So, yeah... I don't think the case will go in his favor. His parents agreed that $200 was compensation enough at the time. They received more than that. He also was "paid in exposure", which he exploited as best he could. Also, he's suing the wrong people... The people who put him through this "traumatic 5 minute experience THAT HE DOESN'T REMEMBER" but has milked out for 30 years,  A.K.A. his parents are the ones to be sued, but since they don't have Former rockband getting royalties money, he's suing everyone who had the faintest affiliation to Nirvana. Trying to claim that the picture is "Piddie Corn" by using the claim that Cobain wanted a sticker covering the cocktail weenie that said "if you have an issue woth this you might be a word that rhymes with "Peter File"... well, since he and his lawyer are raising an issue with the pic, does this mean that they are like Jared from Subway? 

Here's an alternative for the Nirvana baby to make some money...

Aug 24, 2021

Odds and ends august 24, 2021: Hello Peter! And other stuff

 Sony is known for ruining Spider-Man after 2 movies... Then there's this:

I'm not going to lie, I had mixed reactions to watch this movie before the trailer. To this point I'm still not convinced on the whole bringing back previous Spider-Man villains from the Multiverse instead of having the m c u / Sony versions. But two words killed all my preconceptions about this movie:

"Hello Peter!"

Yes I'm aware that we also hear Willem Dafoe laughing as the green demonic Ranger but, if you are a loyal reader of this blog, you know that I'm more of a Doctor Octopus guy and fuck the Green Goblin, Doc Ock is the SUPERIOR Spider-Man villain! 

I'm still a bit worried about the whole using magic to Tamper with Spider-Man... One Moronic Deal comes to mind. Hell, I kind of feel that this movie will be the one thing that will separate Spider-Man from the MCU.

Fortnite... the game that franchises go to whore themselves out is in hot water again... by blatantly ripping off Among Us with a new gamemode and a map that is pretty much The Skeld map from Among Us sloghtly tweaked to "pretend it's different". The saddest part was that Innersloth had been trying to get a collaboration with Fortnite. While Epic games,  the owners of Fortnite are suing Apple for their predatory practices against smaller companies, Epic is doing something similar to Innersloth...
Damn... this would be funny if they could see their hypocrisy.

Wednesday there's gonna be sone TMNT Shredder's Revenge news according to Dorito Pope. Hopefully the release date will be announced, because I want some TMNT action ASAP...


April is playable, game comes in 2022...

Aug 23, 2021

Cowboy Bebop Live Action is happening

 And it looks so bad... 

1/4 of the team is missing... and it seems that Faye's outfit has been altered because "male gays" is bad or something like that. Also, Who looked at Spike Spiegel and said: You know what, that role should be played by one of the "MILF" dudes from American Pie!
Yes I'm aware he played Sulu on the Star Trek reboot movies and that is one half of Harold and Kumar, my point is that while he's a decent actor he was horribly Miscast. I'm just using his worst role to make a point. Not going to mention that he's almost 50 and Spike is 27.

A "Real Human" wouldn't wear Faye's outfit...

Good to know that all these cosplayers aren't "Real Humans". It's borderline insulting aesthetic argument that they are making to change the outfit. Her revealing outfit is part of the con game she plays. She uses her sex appeal to distract and take advantage of simps to pull off her scams to pay off her massive debt. But current year and sex appeal is haram... 

I will watch the show, but my expectations are not good.


Pic with Ein. Ed is still MIA, but you can see the team better. Had Faye's skirt or shorts been yellow, she would've been passable... 

Aug 22, 2021

Netflix CGI "He-Man" is NOT MOTU and that is problematic.

 The end product can be good and enjoyable, but it is NOT MOTU. Before the people with Mint on Card brains begin to comment, let me reiterate the point.

Netflix CGI He-Man is a bad adaptation of He-Man. The end product MIGHT BE a good entertaining show, but AS A HE-MAN SHOW it already failed since it BARELY resembles what a He-Man show should be.

The fact that Mattel had to change SO Much of the MOTU Essence to produce this shows that they don't truly believe in the property.

So, Barbarian Fantasy is no longer popular... let's go full sci-fi... 
OK so not completely sci fi... dystopian Steampunk fantasy then...
But these guys are all adults... we need to fix that because kids only love shows where kids are the protagonists...
Much better... They're all teenagers fighting the evil adults, because Adults are Bad... This is sounding like Disney Channel shit...
But it still is not fair that Only He-Man gets to transform. How can we use the Magic of Friendship 

And not only that...
For some crazy reason everybody can transform, including the bad guys. This robs He-Man of what makes him Special. 
Sure, they "get different powers" when they transform, but it still is a group of transforming teens that battle monsters... Where have I heard that before?

I know I could've used Sailor Moon or Zyuuranger, but since this new He-Man is a mockery of He-Man, I used a mockery of thw sentai genre.
Everyone knows Adam is He-Man, this removes ALL Tension whenever there's Trouble around Adam.

Still Don't get it? Let's try to simplify the issue:
OK let's say MOTU is a Cheeseburger... 
Let's take the Cheeseburger, which is basically:
Beef patty
OK you're visualizing the cheeseburger...
Let's take the beef patty out because no one likes beef patties anymore and replace it with a mushroom and soybean patty.
Let's remove cheese, because it can be considered "offensive" and replace it with sliced tofu instead.
Mayo is too "straight white male" so let's replace it with a more "racially diverse" hummus. Bread is too masculine, so let's use a Tortilla instead. 
Ketchup and Mustard are boring on their own... let's use Cocktail sauce (which is ketchup with Horseradish) and let's use brown mustard instead of yellow.

I can tell you the "new Cheeseburger" is fucking tasty but "is it a cheeseburger"?
Sure, some may argue that there is a patty and melty curd product with some condiments covered by a flour based product that allows portability while consuming the meal.

Others may argue that the lack of buns, meat, and cheese means that the delicious meal presented is NOT a Cheeseburger. 

That is the issue. This Netflix show IS NOT MOTU. BASED ON THE TRAILER, SINCE THE SHOW HASN'T COME OUT YET. I have to specify this since Idiots would spam this with comments about not watching the show, when it's literally impossible for me to watch since it hasn't aired and I'm talking about the Trailer. Also, I'm not judging the show on any metrics aside from how Un-MOTU it is.

Now, base on the trailer, It just feels like your run of the mill teen team adventure show. I want to say that there is some originality involved, but it kinda feels like it was designed by committee using focus groups with no idea what MOTU is.

Sure you can replace the Barbaric elements with Cyber/Steampunk Dystopian Fantasy elements. You can even have "Teenaged Masters". The issue is that NOT ALL can be teens. You still need Mentors for Adam. With MAN-AT-ARMS being close to Adam's age, the Master/Apprentice Dynamic is lost. The Adam/Teela Best friends dynamic is lost because Adam's new best friend is Ram Ma'am...

The "secret" is gone. The one thing that put a strain in Adam and Teela's relationship is gone! How important is this aspect? Literally the reason we have Silent Bob's MOTU is dealing with Teela discovering the secret when Adam Literally DIES in a desperate attempt to save Eternia.

But the problem is that this team has picked apart and replaced far too much stuff that it doesn't resemble MOTU at all. Sure we have the character names and places (kinda), but that's it. Everything else is a rip-off of other popular stuff...


Kids can understand the duality of being a hero and having a "normal life". Kids can understand that having a great power requires having great responsibility. Kids can understand the idea of hard work and discipline leads to personal improvement. It seems as if these Focus groups lack the capacity of understanding children. Mattel thought kids would embrace "curvy Barbie" yet called her fat when the adults "weren't looking".  
Kids are smarter than we think and they deserve better. Not only that, but MATTEL needs to RESPECT THEIR PROPERTIES. You know what happens when you don't respect your properties? Michael Bay happens.  Transformers Kiss Players happens. And yes, people can still argue that the core: " Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons" element is still there on Kiss Players or the Bay films. 

"AlL yOu WaNt iS fIlMaTiOn 2.0"
Wrong. All I want is a MOTU that is good enough for kids and at the same time be easily identifiable as MOTU for old fans. This new take can possibly fulfill the first part, but not the second one.

I want them to fall in love with the brand I fell in love with... not with a clown pretending to be the brand I fell in love with.

Circling back to the cheeseburger analogy:
You can add onions, mushrooms and peppers to the patty. You can add cheeses and herbs to the bread dough to make the buns. You can use a different kind of cheese. You can switch the mustard and add horseradish to the ketchup. You can even swap the mayo for Japanese Mayo... You can even add a parmesan crisp to the concoction and it would still be a cheeseburger. Maybe even add lettuce, tomatoes and pickles to give it a slightly "fresher taste" with a slight zing with the veggies.

So, yeah, the show most likely will be good from all the technical areas. It has an amazing voice cast and good writers... my only issue is that on the only metric that truly matters to me, they already failed...

Aug 21, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: This Rocksteady doesn't make Batman games

Leonardo: 彼らは私たちをひどいフィドルのように演じました
He-Man: Wait a minute... you're quoting Miller...
Is this a!?
Rocksteady: He-Man, That's NOT MASTER MILLER!
Leonardo: You've been talking to ME, Igor Smith!
He-Man: Who? 
Leonardo: Igor Smith, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes cartoon...
Rocksteady: Never heard of it...
He-Man: There was a cartoon!?
Leonardo: Yes! Your beloved Mattel made the toys for it!! Shit, let me try something else...
Always the Peacemaker, eh Lacan!!
Leonardo: Finally a man of culture!!
He-Man: Not a man of culture. He has a shrine to fictional redheads... Elly is there next to your friend April, and Asuka from Evangelion, above Teela, under your friend April...
Nefty (VO): Screw you! He-Man

 Bebop's better half has finally arrived as part of the third TMNT wave from Super7. Rocksteady is the second half of the Rocksteady and Bebop duo. Two criminals mutated into humanoid animals Rocksteady is the Rhinoceros. He seems to be more interested in military-style weapons based on his outfit. He's basically 1/2 Rambo and 1/2 Spider-Man's villain the rhino.

I know that the idea is to make Rocksteady look big with the manhole cover looking so small. Problem is that if the cover is THAT small, how can the Turtles enter the sewers?

You have already seen Bebop, so you know what to expect. The only real differences in articulation or the lack of tail, the head, and that Rocksteady does not have leg brace.
○ is a □ with the corners cut...
Just like Super7 did to this unpainted gun and to
Rocksteady by not having a proper "gun hand".

Paint and sculpt 
Sadly, it seems tha Super7 began cutting corners on this wave. First April with her unpainted Attache case, then Michelangelo with an unpainted belt. (Had to do all the silver accents),  Now Rocksteady has an "unpainted gun" and sewer cover. Other than that, the Rhino dude is looking good. The sculpt is very close to the original, but the larger size allows for a better appreciation of the details from the vintage toy. If these figures weren't $55+ I'd be all over a second Rocksteady to paint his shirt yellow.
I wouldn't call myself a customizer, but my crappy paintjob on the cover and gun gave them a bit of much needed oomph!

The only sculpt issue I have is that he cannot pull the trigger on his gun.

2 extra hands
3 grenades
Sewer cover shield
Vintage weapons tree
Bebop: Told ya I'd be back!!
Rocksteady: Yo, Beebs! Eiffel Tower?
Shredder: Shut it, you nincompoops! Miss O'Neil is not to be harmed!!
April: Good to know that even you, Shredder, have a code of honor...
Shredder: That is where you're wrong, Miss O'Neil... I, Saki Oroku, 44 years old, Leader of the Ashi-nin, and a resident of the Interdimensional Fortress known as the Technodrome. I am not married. I don't smoke, though occasionally drink. I go to bed at random times due to my position as the leader of a ninja assassin clan. I have killed over 8000 people ever since I became a ninja at the age of 12. I recently saw the Tommy Wiseau film, The Room... in it, the protagonist, played by Wiseau makes love to his future wife's  belky button. The whole act made me harder than General Traag. Before I kill you, I intend to fulfill my dream.
Bebop: Wait, was this a The Room reference, a Dragon Ball Z reference, or a JoJo reference?
Rocksteady: Well, if the Bossman is doing Kira, you must be Josuke due to the hairdo, and I'll  be Okuyasu... whose Stand is THE HAND!! And in MGS2 Liquid Snake was a Talking Hand!! Cam Clarke Reference, bitches!!
Nefty (VO): Holy Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island! Rocksteady, that was a beautiful Cam Clarke Reference!

I understand that he is a big guy and is one hundred percent new tooling. But I feel he got the short end of the stick. He can't properly hold his gun... his main accessory. But at least the sewer shield works, unlike Bebop's trash can. Even the grenades are useless, since he can't hold them. 

Rocksteady gets a 4.17 as his final score. The lower score is mostly based on the issues with the lack of paint applications on the accessories, lack of accessories, and Sculpting issues that Made the available accessories mostly useless.   

With the corners being cut on this wave, I'm worried about future waves. I hope they can turn out an Android body for Krang before they have to raise the prices once more... 

Aug 20, 2021

Super7's insane... a Simpsons Ultimate line starting with variants!?

 Annoyed grunt... first of all: A Simpsons line!? 

Also Poochie on wave 1? Take it away, James Rolfe!

Of course when Super7 posted the news on Facebook, people overwhelmingly asked on thing:

Where the Hell are the Thundercats!? Waiting on waves 2 and 3 here... (or at least Mumm-Ra, Tygra, Jaga, Cheetara, and Slithe... yesss!) 

Those 5 figures are NOT worth $55. Especially if they're either variants or one-off characters...

OK so Moe is not a one-off, but who the Hell starts a Simpsons line with effin' Moe!? I don't care that they have an Astronaut Homer... WHERE THE HELL IS VANILLA HOMER!? Or... hear me out: Why start with Homer when you could...

Question: WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THE FAMILY? I'm talking vanilla versions of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. 2025? Are we going to get a red shirt Bart or are we going to get the blue shirt Bart? And will there be a difference between Bart and Bartman? 

Once again we are getting started into a really huge line with tons of characters and Thundercats wave 2 was ordered over 20 months ago...  how deep will they go before people say

and quit supporting Super7. This is reaching Storm Collectibles level of bad. Too many incomplete lines... FINISH ONE GODDAMNED LINE BEFORE ADDING TEN!!

Apparently, Macy's will hiuse Toys R Us...

 The question is: Will I have to grow up, or I'm still a Toys R Us kid? Only 400 Macy's stores will be "impregnated by TRU"... Will Puerto Rico get one? Also, I was Today years old when I discovered that Macy's has a Toy section... just checked the website... sure, they have toys, but most of them are "educational toys", which are one step above drugstore toys. I don't know, it feels wrong. They don't even have videogames. I know they are not known for electronics,  but, in 2021 trying to sell toys but no videogames  is not a smart move. This approach feels half-assed. Will this be "permanent" or just a "Holiday season" thing?

I'm not exactly a fan of Macy's, so wandering there feels a bit painful... but the thrill of the hunt and all that...

It seems that OnlyFans has chosen death... and stuff.

 By "sanitizing their site" by Oct. 1st. After this date no Sexually explicit content would be allowed. The platform is mostly used by sex workers and amateur porn star wannabes to get some safe money by being camgirls. 

Sure, there are other uses for OnlyFans, but... let's  face it... the main use is porn...

Now what will Belle Delphine do? Sell more bathwater? Bagged farts? ABC Gum? What? 

OnlyFans made her a millionaire, now they're taking that away from her!? What will they do when She unleashes her simp army?

Sure, they're doing this move to attract more investors and sponsors, but this will alienate the core audience...


So much for that Porn Ban... they already canceled it. Seems like somebody told them killingnporn would kill 90%+ of their traffic. Guess they listened to the song.

Shinichi Chiba has passed away due to COVID-19 complications... Who is he? Japanese actor who appeared in the Nana-iro Kamen series in 1959... if my Japanese knowledge from Duolingo is correct, this would translate into The mask of 7 colors... or 7 colored mask... this is important for 2 things: it's amongst the earliest tokusatsu shows which would lead into the sentai shows and eventually bring Zyuuranger into the west and have first Bandai, later Hasbro grab me by the balls... fuck Target and their exclusive Ninjetti Adam and Billy... they have their hooded heads as well... can't wait for Tommy... but back to Nana-iro Kamen. It was also the inspiration for Go Nagai's Cutie Honey. Wait, Go Nagai... why is that name so familiar? Holy shit! Majinga Zetto!! Straying from topic, gotta go back!!

Chiba-san was in various Martial Arts movies, including NINJA movies... also he has been on other Tokusatsu shows, but most pwople remember him as the dude who made a sword for Poison Ivy to kill Kung Fu... or DK's uncle in... Carvengers Family 3: Imitation D.

May he find peace now that he is no longer tied to this plane. Well then, farewell.

A bad adaptation doesn't mean a bad end product.

 I'm going to nip this in the bud, because I know thar idiots will try to use my disappointment in the new direction of "HE-MAN" as an excuse to launch their bigoted remarks. Some people got mad at me for saying that "It'S fOr KiDs" or "It'S nOt FoR yOu!" are invalid excuses for that upcoming show being a BAD ADAPTATION of MOTU. I'm NOT saying that the show will suck ass and that it's going to be a shitshow... the show has decent animation and an excellent voice cast. What I'm NOT liking about what has been shown so far is that it doesn't look or feel like MOTU. The designs feel generic and derivative. Boy-at-arms looks like Samus Aran's armor... then there's Ram Ma'am... the "It's Ma'am!" Jokes are running about. But I'm not going to specifically talk about MOTU here. I want to talk about show and movies that had HUGE deviations from the Source Material and ENDED UP being Good on their own, DESPITE being "bad adaptations".

Jurassic Park: one of the "better adaptations" or I should say,  one bad book adaptation that delivered a pretty good movie. 

Resident Evil: kinda bad adaptation of the games, but a somewhat decent movie... just steer clear from the sequels.

Do I even HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING!? REGARDING THIS MOVIE!? But to be fair it had Raul Juliá in it so you know it was going to be an awesome performance from him, regardless the horrible bastardization on Street Fighter he was in. 

Even the almost holy

Is a BAD adaptation of He-Man. Where the Clonan who faced various demons and monsters in the Eternian Wastelands gave way to Renn Faire Shazam...

Even Fred Wolf's famous TMNT
Is a bastardization of Eastman and Laird's indie comic TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES.
The 2012 series was a Bastardization of the Bastardization and it was Great!!

Tim Burton's Batman is an example of a bad adaptation making a good end result and then having abad adaptation "dumbed down for the children"... (the Schumacher sequels)

Riverdale is a decent CW show, but AWFUL Adaptation of Archie.

Just because it's a bad adaptation, doesn't automatically mean that it'll be bad in general...

Even Noelle Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra was a decent show if one ignores the She-Ra elements.

Do I have high hopes for the show? No.

Do I believe that shows (that were made for kids) should completely lose their identity and their soul because "TheY'rE mAdE fOr KiDs!"? HELL NO! Despite there being plenty of bad adaptations that have proven themselves to be just as good, if not, better than the source material; I don't believe in discarding the source Material. Much less in stripping away everything that makes a property unique and cram it into a generic show that no longer resembles the original... if that's the proce the property must pay to survive, then taking it out of its misery is the better solution.

Aug 19, 2021

Masters of the Universe: 1982-2021. The Power of Grayskull rests, but not in Peace.

It's no secret that I hated Noelle Stevenson's adaptation of She-Ra, mostly because it strayed too far from She-Ra for the sake of promoting a faux diversity and "making the show gay" for the sake of "being gay". But the biggest sin was making it "generic". You can literally scrub off all the Mattel references and the show can still work. 

Seems that Mattel said: "Hold muh Beer!" and they made This New He-Man... If you hated Kevin Smith and Revelation, this will make that THE NEXT BEST HE-MAN SHOW AFTER 200X.

Teela is now the "Sorceress" and has been recolored... and out of all the the Non-white races they chose... Black. Seriously, aren't there OTHER Races that they could've used for Diversity? Again, why not make Clamp Champ part of the core team if they needed someone who is black?
But at least they're not Genderswapping characters like Ram Man... wait it's Ram Ma'am now?
Yes, Ram Man is now a tennage blue haired girl.
The Little androgynous MK Fujin is Teela, Final Fantasy main character is Adam, and Dark haired sidekick douche is MAN-AT-ARMS... whp transforms into Samus Aran... Everybody transforms here. Orko is a robotic mage.

Also, behold your villain: Caucasian Keldor
Funny thing is that this COULD BE a good show... if it was called The Adventures of Technoking Arthur and the Knights of Mechamelot. As a MOTU show, well...

 This... THING... is NOT MOTU. It's Max Steel with a MOTU inspired Fortnite skin. Right now, this is making The New Adventures of He-Man seem like a Masterpiece. I shall watch, because:
"YoU sHoUlDn'T jUdGe A bOoK bY iTs CoVeR" and will comment fairly, as I always do... under the veil of snark and condescension.

Of course, the apologetic brigade is in full force screaming:
"It'S nOt FoR yOu!" or "It'S fOr KiDs!" as if that justifies laziness and mediocrity

Even the toys exude laziness and mediocrity.
These are a step down from Origins...

It came from the Toy Chest: April is coming twice this year!

 No, my dear readers, it's not NECA's Judith Hoag as April from the beat Live Action TMNT movie, but Super7's take on Playmates April.
This April is a reporter she's wearing the yellow jumpsuit, which you can obviously see. I point this out because the NECA April based on Mirage Comics wears a blue jumpsuit and is a lab assistant. This is basically failure because you already know that April is the first human that the turtles make contact with.
S7 April: Hey! I SAID NO NECAs!!
PoP April:Who said I'm a NECA?
S7 April: don't tey to trick me with your no articulation nonesense, you're a NECA!!
PoP April: If I'm a NECA, you're a Playmates toy!!

Super7 didn't fix the hips like they have claimed. Her crotch piece just hides the issue a bit better. Her ankles  can't move and that's scary. Other than that, she has the standard S7 Female figure articulation.
Vintage accessories with colors!!
Except the attache case. I had to paint that one.

Paint and sculpt 
She pretty much looks like a Larger Playmates April v1, wich while expected, it's disappointing. There was a second version of April v1 with a New head. The "toon" head is an improvement. Paintwise, she matches teh vintage toy. This means she's a bit too pink for me, but I'm not going to repaint her. Flesh tones are a bitch to work with. Also my unsteady hand does not help.
Bebop: Finally, a Rapist Bebop joke that doesn't 
Involve me sodomizing dudes...
April: Stand back or I'll go Robocop on your dick!
Bebop: Alright... I'll leave peacefully... for now...

Here is the only area where is Super 7 exceeded expectations. 
2 Extra headS 
6 extra hands
Her attache case (unpainted, why?)
Her camera
Her handgun
A tripod
2 shuriken
2 turtle comm
Press pass
Unpainted vintage styled weapons in weapons tree that turns into the tripod...
April: Mic check!!
Mikey:Right here! I'm awesome!
April: I meant the Microphone...
Mikey: You have a sign on your boobs and I'm  happy to oblige...
April: It means Press as in I'm  a member of the press, not the action...
Mikey: Hakuna your ta-tas, or better yet, let me calm them!

Why in the hell is her attache case unpainted? I'm gonna paint it before I take any pictures...
The gun is a bit of a pain to use as "camera grip" since  it forces April to hold the gun grip lower than normal.
Mikey: For crying out loud! You keep sending mixed signals! A kiss here, a longer than normal hug there, all the very sexually charged flirting... You're giving me a massive case of Blue Balls there, April!! Let me touch something!!
April: I thought we were friends!!
Mikey: Friends don't purposely leave friends with a massive case of blue balls!

April gets a 4.0 as her final score. She could've fared better if it wasn't for her stuck joints, less than stellar paint and awkward accessory issues. Despite having a somewhat reasonable score, I feel disappointed with her.
Mikey: You know what? Screw you, April!!
Looks like I'll have to get some release with my doll...
April: Wait a minute, short red head, big boobs, and a killer ass... That doll is supposed to be my proxy?
Mikey: No... Her name is May O'Connor... she's a NOT APRIL O'NEIL!!
April: Wait a minute! That's a bit disturbing, Michelangelo!! Get back here!!
Mikey: No can do! I'm gonna do everything I was going to do to you to her!
April: How were you able to get a doll like that? A doll of that caliber is ridiculously expensive!
Mikey: You missed your chance!!

This disappointment could be magnified once Cheetara arrives...

Aug 17, 2021

Odds and ends 17 August 2021: NECA QC, more Cryborg, and stuff...

 Once again, Ray Fisher needs to bitch and moan about his "unfair treatment". Now he's once again demanding an apology from Walter Hamada or else he won't play Cyborg again. That threat holds no weight sonce Fisher had already stated that he wouldn't work for WB as long as Hamada still worked there. See the issue? He is "softening his threat". First it was Remove Hamada, now it's Apologize, Hamada... what's  next? Begging? Despite his accusations being vague, Whedon was removed and Geoff Johns was being phased out. This feels like a retread of previous rants, but I point it out for the sake of Ray getting his so-much needed attention. He already burnt the "Cyborg bridge". If Warner Brothers replaced BOTH Michael Keaton AND Val Kilmer AS BATMAN, both actors were ESTABLISHED HOUSEHOLD NAMES BEFORE BEING BATMAN, thinking that a "virtually unknown actor" in a role where he's 85% covered in CGI is irreplaceable is ridiculous. 

NECA strikes again! Got my Judith Hoag April O'Neil figure...

Notice anything wrong? No, not the Knees, we knew they'd be like that. But a bit lower... her shins are wrong... they should be looking something like |) (| but NECA has them looking like (| |) and right now I'm wondering if warming her up to swap joints is worth it or not. The knee joint seems a bit scary to work with. If April makes it to Walmart as she's rumored to be, then I could buy a second one to keep in case I fuck her up. She'll come out the Toy Chest soon.

The creator of Sudoku has been seen by Haley Joel Osment. Bile duct cancer was the reason for his death. This sucks, not because of Sudoku,but for being yet another person taken away by Cancer... and it freaking sucks! Maki Kaji, creator of Sudoku had a love for puzzles and was apparently the Japanese Bob Ross of puzzles. 

Aug 15, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Robin is the Demon's Butthole

 I am talking about Damian Wayne, the Grandson of the Head of the Demon, the Son of the Detective... worst Robin since Jason Todd.

Since Bruce's DNA is easy to obtain, because he left it all over town... Talia al Ghul had to find a more convoluted way to get it... she drugged and raped Bruce Wayne in order to make a Bat al Ghul baby... whom she genetically engineered to become the world's deadliest 10 year old.  He ends up in Gotham where he tried to kill Tim Drake in order to be Robin. He was Dick's sidekick for a while, and he has butted heads with Jason Todd, the only former Robin who truly understands Damiens violent tendencies... the whole Jason Todd being trained by the League of Assassins AND Batman allows Jason a better insight to Damian's mind than other members of the Bat Family.

Robin: What are you looking at, Sidekick?
NW: Hey, Damian. Your Mom maight have taught you how stuff got done with the League of Assassins, but with Batman, killing weapons are a big no-no.
Robin: Shut up, Sidekick.
NW: Sidekick, really? What outfit are you wearing?
Robin: The Robin suit...
NW: Holy Coincidence, Batman! That was MY suit when I was a young Boy Wonder. You're the third or fourth person wearing my hand me downs. Sidekicks wear their golden Rs on their red shirts... and I'm NOT wearing one of those, am I?
Robin: No...
Robin: Relax, Damian. You don't NEED to put this tough guy facade in front of me. I get it, you want to prove your worthiness to Bruce by becoming a crusader in his Mission. I've been there. Hell, maybe I'm the reason why Jason, Tim, Barbara, and the others have suffered...
Robin: Fuck Tim Drake!!
NW: Maybe when you're older...
Robin: Did you just imply I'm a mithli aljins?
NW: Let's change the subject. Sword are bad, ok?
Robin, but I like swords... you like Escrima sticks... that's like 2 practice short swords...
NW: But they are sticks... They're better than Bacon!
Robin: sword is better than stick!
NW: How many swordsmen cannyou find in Gotham?
Robin: There's Deathstroke...
NW: Beat him with my sticks.

Damian , due to his smaller body has LESS articulation than the other DC multiverse figures. Not only that his legs are hindered by his tunic. Knees and elbows are single joints and they feel VERY Fragile... 

NW: Those aren't Batarangs?
Robin: Am I Batman?
NW: No...
Robin: Exactly!
NW: They're no birdarang, but the blades seem shorter. I must assume, that you LOA training means you're highly accurate with them.
Robin: I could outshoot Green Arrow with a biw while blindfolded.
NW: I believe that...
Green Arrow (VO): I HEARD THAT!!
Robin: I'm also an excellent marksman...
NW: Yeah... I wouldn't mention that to Bruce. He's super anti-gun.
Robin: Noted...

Paint and sculpt
The sculpt straddles the line between realistic and cartoony. His head is humongous... not to mention how out of scale that figure is. Paintwise he's pretty good minus the cartoon black line on his mouth to mark the Wayne scowl.
NW: Gah! You two, stop being assholes and TALK TO EACH OTHER!!
Batman and Robin: SHUT UP, SIDEKICK!!
NW: You two can't deny you are father and son!
Batman: Alfred! Dick is getting cranky, bring me some chicken nugs and Brown Moo juice to calm him down!
Robin: Servant, bring Chiccy nuggies and choccy milk for the Sidekick! He is getting testy! THIS I COMMAND!!
NW: Wait a minute...

Gummy League of Assassins sword, stand, trading card, 2 shuriken.
I won't comment on the cards and stands since they're kinda pointless. But the sword and shuriken are what matter to me.
Yes the sword is Gummy, but that's better than having a hard plastic brittle blade that it would break by looking at it wrong. I find it ridiculously oversized, but it kind of suits Damian. It's an obvious sign of overcompensating for his youth and stature.
The shuriken are a bit better.
Batman: Looks like my Son is finally with me...
Arrow: I feel bad for you... I mean you've adopted God knows how many kids and now you have a Biological one... No matter what you do you'll lose here...
Batman: What!?
Arrow: Best thing you can do is send him back to Talia and pay Child support.
Robin: You know what, Grayson, you're not too bad... for a Sidekick...
NW: OK, Vegeta, whatever you say...
Robin: Did you just call me Vegeta because I'm literally a Warrior Prince,  or because he plays second string to that buffoon Kakarotto?
NW: I'll let you figure that one out by yourself...

The Demon's butthole gets a 4.17 as his final score. His fragility, lack of articulation and scale hurt him a lot more than expected... but now I only need Jason Todd, a Tim Drake, a Spoiler, and Alfred to complete the Bat Family... 
I guess that I'm leaving behind a lot of people, but I don't want a bat heavy DC display... Right now all my villains are bat-related, and nearly half my heroes are Batman Family characters.

This is mostly Todd's fault though.