Aug 15, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Robin is the Demon's Butthole

 I am talking about Damian Wayne, the Grandson of the Head of the Demon, the Son of the Detective... worst Robin since Jason Todd.

Since Bruce's DNA is easy to obtain, because he left it all over town... Talia al Ghul had to find a more convoluted way to get it... she drugged and raped Bruce Wayne in order to make a Bat al Ghul baby... whom she genetically engineered to become the world's deadliest 10 year old.  He ends up in Gotham where he tried to kill Tim Drake in order to be Robin. He was Dick's sidekick for a while, and he has butted heads with Jason Todd, the only former Robin who truly understands Damiens violent tendencies... the whole Jason Todd being trained by the League of Assassins AND Batman allows Jason a better insight to Damian's mind than other members of the Bat Family.

Robin: What are you looking at, Sidekick?
NW: Hey, Damian. Your Mom maight have taught you how stuff got done with the League of Assassins, but with Batman, killing weapons are a big no-no.
Robin: Shut up, Sidekick.
NW: Sidekick, really? What outfit are you wearing?
Robin: The Robin suit...
NW: Holy Coincidence, Batman! That was MY suit when I was a young Boy Wonder. You're the third or fourth person wearing my hand me downs. Sidekicks wear their golden Rs on their red shirts... and I'm NOT wearing one of those, am I?
Robin: No...
Robin: Relax, Damian. You don't NEED to put this tough guy facade in front of me. I get it, you want to prove your worthiness to Bruce by becoming a crusader in his Mission. I've been there. Hell, maybe I'm the reason why Jason, Tim, Barbara, and the others have suffered...
Robin: Fuck Tim Drake!!
NW: Maybe when you're older...
Robin: Did you just imply I'm a mithli aljins?
NW: Let's change the subject. Sword are bad, ok?
Robin, but I like swords... you like Escrima sticks... that's like 2 practice short swords...
NW: But they are sticks... They're better than Bacon!
Robin: sword is better than stick!
NW: How many swordsmen cannyou find in Gotham?
Robin: There's Deathstroke...
NW: Beat him with my sticks.

Damian , due to his smaller body has LESS articulation than the other DC multiverse figures. Not only that his legs are hindered by his tunic. Knees and elbows are single joints and they feel VERY Fragile... 

NW: Those aren't Batarangs?
Robin: Am I Batman?
NW: No...
Robin: Exactly!
NW: They're no birdarang, but the blades seem shorter. I must assume, that you LOA training means you're highly accurate with them.
Robin: I could outshoot Green Arrow with a biw while blindfolded.
NW: I believe that...
Green Arrow (VO): I HEARD THAT!!
Robin: I'm also an excellent marksman...
NW: Yeah... I wouldn't mention that to Bruce. He's super anti-gun.
Robin: Noted...

Paint and sculpt
The sculpt straddles the line between realistic and cartoony. His head is humongous... not to mention how out of scale that figure is. Paintwise he's pretty good minus the cartoon black line on his mouth to mark the Wayne scowl.
NW: Gah! You two, stop being assholes and TALK TO EACH OTHER!!
Batman and Robin: SHUT UP, SIDEKICK!!
NW: You two can't deny you are father and son!
Batman: Alfred! Dick is getting cranky, bring me some chicken nugs and Brown Moo juice to calm him down!
Robin: Servant, bring Chiccy nuggies and choccy milk for the Sidekick! He is getting testy! THIS I COMMAND!!
NW: Wait a minute...

Gummy League of Assassins sword, stand, trading card, 2 shuriken.
I won't comment on the cards and stands since they're kinda pointless. But the sword and shuriken are what matter to me.
Yes the sword is Gummy, but that's better than having a hard plastic brittle blade that it would break by looking at it wrong. I find it ridiculously oversized, but it kind of suits Damian. It's an obvious sign of overcompensating for his youth and stature.
The shuriken are a bit better.
Batman: Looks like my Son is finally with me...
Arrow: I feel bad for you... I mean you've adopted God knows how many kids and now you have a Biological one... No matter what you do you'll lose here...
Batman: What!?
Arrow: Best thing you can do is send him back to Talia and pay Child support.
Robin: You know what, Grayson, you're not too bad... for a Sidekick...
NW: OK, Vegeta, whatever you say...
Robin: Did you just call me Vegeta because I'm literally a Warrior Prince,  or because he plays second string to that buffoon Kakarotto?
NW: I'll let you figure that one out by yourself...

The Demon's butthole gets a 4.17 as his final score. His fragility, lack of articulation and scale hurt him a lot more than expected... but now I only need Jason Todd, a Tim Drake, a Spoiler, and Alfred to complete the Bat Family... 
I guess that I'm leaving behind a lot of people, but I don't want a bat heavy DC display... Right now all my villains are bat-related, and nearly half my heroes are Batman Family characters.

This is mostly Todd's fault though.

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