Dec 31, 2015

Looking back at MOTUC's FINAL YEAR*

Because ALL TOY LINES MUST END... and not last another year under a Rebranding or adding COLLECTOR'S CHOICE to the card... Since we are getting MOTUC CC and an inferior line based on the 80s cartoon, I have to review TRUE MOTUC's last year.

As Always I'll do the main club first, then the Extras:

Lizard Man:C
Expensive, smaller, the stuff he came with is NOT HIS... Lack of Ab-Crunch, unposeable tail... He can't be posed too well. I had to steal a TMNT Accessory to make him into the Ezio Auditore of MOTU.

Ninja Warrior:A+
Bad things: Bow, Nunchucks...
Good things: Everything Else... How can you NOT LIKE This guy!? I bought 3 of him... 3! I can't believe it either!

Snake Armor He-Man vs King Hssss: B+
New Mattel Team Dropped the ball here when Neitlich left and forced us to pay Extra for the Snake Torso and pushing it back to 2016... It makes me wish Mattel had the budget figured out before showing us this SEXY, SEXY 2 Pack. Lack of Articulation on He-Man and the missing Snake Buck hurt this set a little bit. The Snake body being pushed to 2016 hurt the set a bit more. This one had the potential of being an Easy A...

Huntara: C
The first Female Fan Choice Winner... The loser is coming in 2016...
I'm disappointed in her. She needed to be 20% cooler... She's just eh... She lacked some extras to make her pop.
Also she was made a False Exclusive, with Oo-Larr's axe being the justification for that.

Oo-Larr: C+
Vintage Head, Alcalá Head... MORE NAKED HE-MAN!!! it's a mixed bag for me... I mean, the Vintage Head Repainted in Wun-Dar colors is cool. The Alcalá head on the He-Man body makes a nice Mini Comics He-Man... but at the end of the day it's a more naked He-Man...

Angella: B-
The Queen of Derp Eye... Also she's short... I mean Glimmer looks Gigantic next to mommy dearest.
The Derp Eye and shortness make her a bit less cool...

Blast Attak: C-
Non-Removable Armor to showcase the Trooper Torso. No Removable Arms or Waist to have some sort of BLAST ATTACK... But he looks good. That's why he scored a bit higher.

Squeeeze: B
Not bad from an Engineering POV, but he's TOO VINTAGE for my tastes... I had to break out paints and devintagize all I could... Now I need to find a head.

Multi Bot:B+
More Pieces than Modulok, a Lot less fun... From an engineering point he is better than Modulok, but his hodgepodge look makes him somewhat less fun. Then again. the hodgepodge look is straight vintage.

Peekablue: C+
Her lack of color hurts her a bit and she looks a bit off. Her suffering from derp-eye (mine didn't, but many did) hurts her a bit more than I thought.

Mara of Primus: C
Lack of Articulation was what ruined this figure to many. How can a warrior-looking maiden be put in warrior poses if her legs prohibit said poses from happening?
Buzz Saw Hordak: B
I can't believe that I actually LIKED this variant, after a few tweaks, of course. Now the base was rather solid, but the Excess of Hordaks looking all the same kinda ruins the excitement for him.

The thing that killed this figure from being an A+ figure was the lack of accessories... The recreation of the Vintage Sparks specifically.

Flying Fists He-Man vs Terror Claws Skeletor: B-
I have mixed opinions on this set. I wasn't a fan of them and Mattel managed to bungle up a few things: Too thick handle for the badly spinning ball mace, cheap power sword, Fat Armor on He-Man, lack of paint on the Terror claws, the tan on Skeletor... But I did manage to pull 2 positive things out of the set:
  • My Classicized Filmation He-Man.
  • A Better Looking King He-Man
I still haven't figured out what can I pull off For the Terror Claws Skeletor... Seeing that I'll most likely use the spare Mo-Larr vs Skeletor Set Skeletor that I have to put on the Terror Claws...

Maybe if I buy a Cast of a Hordak Armor I could make a Horde Apprentice Skeletor with the Darker Terror Claws body...
He Looks darker because of the Horde Influence or something...

Dragstor: B-
He's not THAT Vintage Accurate and that has ticked off "Purists" I have to say that I like the Exhaust Crossbow a lot more than his vintage Crossbow. Other than that he's OK, I guess... Shame that they didn't go for a functional wheel on him.

He-Ro II aka Dare: B+
He has the Pre Filmation Power Sword... Not to mention a solid set of base parts. We can (dis)agree he's a wasted slot, but we cannot deny that as a figure he IS SOLID.

Laser Power He-Man vs. Laser Light Skeletor: D
Nostalgia Trap did a lot of damage to these guys with the bulky backpacks. Skeletor losing most of his arm articulation is ludicrous. He-Man's Armor falling off ALL THE TIME sucks, not to mention his inability to hold his sword. Sword falls, armor falls, anger ensues... Also Skeletor can't stand at all! Nice end pieces in Theory, but the execution was flawed as heck!
I can't believe how cool this 10 second character is.
Evil Seed:A+
Aside him only getting one true accessory, the Imprisoned ES Head would have been great to have...
He shines all over! All that fantastic new sculpts. The only disappointment is the Filmation scepter. Evil Seed could have used an extra plant construct weapon.
Chooblah: C+
A bit disappointing that he only got a staff. Not even a second head to Army Build Kulataks...

Ceratus: B
Another victim of the one Accessory rule... I blame the Hoop Earrings of Scammer, but he looks so freaking sweet! He's pretty cool, though most of my love for him comes from being easily turned into a 200X Whiplash.

Queen Grayskull: B+
Seems that the False Exclusive dick move only applies to characters that have no dicks... So, Human Celestia, wife of Liquid Snake/Krellian/80sLeonardo/Simba(when Ferris Bueller is unavailable)/and many others... There is no much I can say about her, seeing that she's a Flashback character... Shawl can be tricky, stupid China 3D stamp and lack of bird form issues aside, she is a decent figure.

Prahvus: A+
 Ohohohohoho! His lamp lends itself to a ton of Funny Genie pics. His demonic look will make him a big contender on the shelf! Seriously he is THAT Cool!

(200X)Heads of Eternia: A
This was a nice set and wasn't as morbid as Neitlich's mysterious bosses who hate 200X would claim. It helped make some vintage looking characters look more favorable to my tastes. Now all I need is for some Shapeways Masters to do some 200X Weapons for Roboto and we're golden!

Hover Robots: D+
The stickers, huge price tag for so little did not help these guys a lot. They are OK, but the fact that they topple over so easily due to their lack of weight and borderline useless base kept hurting their score.
Spirit of Grayskull: B-
The higher price and lack of removable cape and armor caused him to lose some points, but other than that he is pretty solid.

Point Dread with Talon Fighter ft. "Filmation Teela":  C+
Mattel dropped the ball here big time. Bad molding on Teela's face and a poorly made Torso. The tweaks from prototype to final item harmed both the Playset and Teela. The only saving grace is The Talon Fighter that can seat up to 4 Figures (If you have a 4 girl squad). Having Teela "as a free bonus" is not a good thing based on their SDCC "promise", but at the same time the ability to have a spare Teela buck to slap the Snake Headdress head from the Original Teela helps her a bit. This set could have been a bit better... Had the Teela issues been fixed and if some smaller issues with the playset and vehicle had been made better.

I guess now that we covered MOTUC on its entirety, we can only say HOLY CRAP! That's one Hell of a line... Shame that it ended without finishing the Vintage lines, but it was one Hell of a ride!
Also, why did you showed up on the 26th when I had you scheduled for the 31st!?

Holy Crap! Cumberstrange looks AMAZEBALLS!

EW had the first look at Doctor Strange, played by Benedict Cumberbatch, a man currently hated by the T part of the LGBT community because of Zoolander 2...

I have to say: He totally LOOKS LIKE DOCTOR STRANGE!! This has brought my hopes up a little bit. Seeing that I was a bit miffed by the Ancient One being Tilda Swinton.

I will have to check out Doctor Strange now...
Seeing that Odin had an Artifact of Agamotto and now we have Strange... Will Odin and Strange cross paths? I mean there's a Thor RAGNAROK movie coming up... I know Banner/Hulk will be in it... Add a Strange and we could sorta have the Defenders... Submariner is in the 20th Century Fuchs hellhole, so replace Namor with Thor...
I know this is a bit of a short rant, but seeing that 2015 is nearly over, I have to prepare for the big changes coming up in 2016... and eventually 2017 with III...

Dec 27, 2015

It Came from the Bottle: Goat Dude is a Christina Aguilera song...

I am talking about Prahvus, the Untamed... Shoot! He can be a Miley Song too!?
Apparently he's some sort of Djinn so I guess here goes the Christina Aguilera song so I can get that reference out of the way:

He was a 200X Warlord who fought against Teela Na before Teela was born... He also looks a bit more like Baphomet than Goat man...

Let's Crack Him open and see what he's got!

No Boot cut... DAMMIT MATTEL!! STOP REMOVING ARTICULATION! Brandon is starting to look like Ruben-Lite. His half-cape blocks the Right Arm.

Paint and Sculpt:
He's got some decent tampos for the Tats... Pray that he doesn't chip them off while posing/playing. Aside a small bit of slop on his gauntlet (BTW that right forearm could help getting a 200X He-Man Classicized. Add SA He-Man's head and Left Forearm and all we need is a new Harness and Removable belt for KG) He looks very 200X While looking like a MOTUC Figure.

He has a Club... A bit small but nifty club and The Lamp.

Prhavus the Untamed gets a 3.67 as his Final Score. The Articulation and few Accessories. Let's face it he only has 1 weapon and a prop that is likely to be on another figure's hands to show that he is Prahvus' master. He feels a bit lacking in the accessory department. He needed an extra weapon or something... Other than that, this Figure IS AMAZEBALLS!!

Dec 26, 2015

It Came from the Toy Chest: @#$% you Neitlich

Masters of the Universe Classics is Officially Over... Until Next Month's Rebranded Collector's Choice Line starts. Now we'll discuss the FINAL FIGURE IN CLASSICS LINE... One Figure that can be described by a Weird Al Yankovic song. I am of course talking about Ginger NA He-Man with Vykron Gloves and Furry Boots...

He-Ro II: AKA Prince Dare using the power of Daddy! Yes, the Riley to He-Man's Cory has arrived in Classics... Who is he? He's He-Man's son, who Neitlich was so hellbent in forcing into the canon that he went against his words to force him into the line. Now if he had forced him into the CANNON...

So, let's crack him open and see how much of a wasted slot he is or is not.

Seeing that he's on a Standard MOTUC Buck with no new Specialized parts that provide new Articulation, he's got Standard Articulation. The Reused NA Vest limits torso Articulation as much as NA He-Man when using the Full armor. He has an Articulated Ponytail...

Paint and sculpt:
In all fairness Dare is over 90% parts reuse. The new parts look a bit cool. I just wish that NA He-Man had gotten an Articulated Ponytail...
I love the little details on the Blue Dare Harness, which looks way better than the NA Repaint Armor.
Holster with gun a la Adora and NA She-Ra, Alternative Armor... Alcala Power Sword which in my case will be Oo-Larr's. Notice the CHINA 3D stamp on the blade...

Dare gets a 4.17 as his final score. This is because, while he's unpopular, he's a pretty solid figure from an engineering point of view. I'm not too fond on how he was forced into the line, but he is a bit cooler than I expected...

If you want the NA Roleplaying sword you can get it here!
Tip: Get GITD Paint both white and green. Mix them up and paint a couple of layers (about 8-10) Paint the handle gold or any other color you prefer. The duller Antique gold suits NA He-Man better, while a Brighter gold can suit Dare better.

It Came from the Toy Chest: Lighting up the End of MOTUC!

I better watch out! I better not cry! I better not pout, i'm telling you why!? Santa Scott is coming to town! And the Ho Ho Ho-liday Item is Finally here! The Infamous LASER VARIANTS OF HE-MAN AND SKELETOR!

What's this Movie Trailer doing here? Well, these two figures are AS CLOSE AS We'd get to "Official Movie Versions of He-Man and Skeletor" Well, Mostly He-Man... I mean LOOK AT HIM!
That Face is Kinda a mish mash between Vintage Toy He-Man and Dolph Lundgren. The outfit is pretty much Movie He-Man's in different colors and a different Harness and sword.
Skeletor is More like a bridge between Vintage and New Adventures...

I mean THESE ARE HE-MAN AND SKELETOR, I do not think I have to explain these guys anymore right?

Seeing that it's a two-pack I'll look at each figure Individually. This set also has comics written by Scott Neitlich... Tigger Warning! The Writing is Awful!


Really... Sword Aloft hands on the SECOND LEAST He-Man Looking He-Man? Dammit Mattel! We wanted a Traditional He-Man Looking He-Man with sword aloft hands...
Also, is it me or are his boots highly restrictive? I'll need to point out that the Arm Armor limits He-Man's Articulation as well.

Paint and Sculpt:
The Sculpt has a bunch of new parts:
 (mainly head, armor, forearms, boots, loincloth.) and a few old ones. Luckily, the head is more Dolph based than the Alternate Vintage Head that the variant of this figure had. The Armor looks great even if it's more blueish than the vintage toy. One nitpick on the sculpt that I have (but this may be linked more towards design) is how the armor is attached to the body. They used C-Clips like the Shields instead of straps like Man-At Arms. Also, WHY IN CELESTIA'S NAME ARE THEY USING THESE GINORMOUS PACKS WHEN THE BATTERIES ARE SO SMALL? Mine had a small bit of paint flake off from the sword holder.

Power Sword Stuck to the backpack like a Proton Pack and we could count the Removable Arm Armor... Also, the sword falls off he-Man's hand a lot.
He-Man's Final Score is:
3.17 is what the Most Powerful Man of the Universe gets as his final score. I blame the uselessness
of his accessories... well ONE Accessory. Counting the armor that falls on its own is pushing it.



There you go, the simplest way to describe the Articulation on this figure.
The Arm Articulation could have at least preserved ONE of the POAs easily:

As you can see on the CRUDE Illustration, the Elbow Articulation could have been preserved for Skeletor. IN THEORY a normal "Ball jointed Elbow" could have preserved ALL The Articulation even if he lacks a bicep cut. The Reason why I decided to forgo the true Ball jointed Elbow and suggest a Hollow Square peg and turn the joint into a hinge is to "protect the lifespan of the cable".

The Official Skeletor has only 2 POA on his right Arm: Shoulder Pseudo ball joint and hinge and the rotating wrist. The Left arm is a normal arm. He loses the Ab Crunch due to the Electronics... The Head loses movement... Why did he lose the boot cut then? Not to mention that the Ankle Articulation is virtually useless.
Also, he's a bitch to stand up! Thanks Obama!

Paint and Sculpt:
 ONCE AGAIN:  WHY IN CELESTIA'S NAME ARE THEY USING THESE GINORMOUS PACKS WHEN THE BATTERIES ARE SO SMALL? ?Yeah, I'm starting right out the bat with this for Skeletor. The rest of the sculpt is neat, aside the head that became a bit bloated "due to the LEDs" and the skull looks like it has a thin membrane of yellow and green flesh on it... unlike the normal Skeletor Skull... But that's so vintage... 4.5


Havoc Staff and Removable Hood... No, just no... The Havoc Staff BARELY Lights up and the Hood, well... They improved the Hood compared to Eldor...

Skeletor Final Score:
2.17 is Skeletor's Overall Score. Piss poor Articulation and Underwhelming Accessory hurt his score a lot.

Two Pack Overall Score:
2.67 is the final score of the pack. I blame the clunky accessories and how the figures were ruined for the sake of adding the Light Up Feature.
 I could always say that the mini Comics could add some fraction of a point to the score, BUT they are ASS! and if I were to count them, they'd DETRACT from the final score.

Being able to hodgepodge a MOTUC He-Dolph is not enough to make this set cool enough. I honestly wish they had gone GITD Plastic for the Laser Figures and maybe make smaller/sleeker backpacks for them... Hell! Even with the Light Up Feature they should have made Smaller Backpacks... I mean, He-Bro, a customizer, was able to make Faker have Light up eyes WITHOUT sacrificing Articulation on the figure and keep the interchangeable head aspect of MOTUC.

Dec 25, 2015

Christmas is already over...

Yeah... I finally found that Shenmue clip on Youtube! Yeah... And I'm a bit bummed seeing that this is the First Christmas where Santa cannot give me the one present I want the most... But let's face it... Even with all of his powers Santa still has some limitations.

I know that talking about Santa on a Christmas rant would be robbing the Christ part out of Christmas... IF I were to look at things from the Christian point of view... Which I'm not, due to an unwritten rule that I'm supposed to keep the House of Rants as neutral in Politics or Religion... The few times I've dabbled in things involving politics (like Mitt Romney being indirectly responsible for Kay Bee toys dying, which was mostly reminiscing about KB and the stuff I got there... Or the time Obama made fun of Trump and the Birthers with The Lion King Footage... Mostly because Obama used The Lion King to mock the whole Obama is a Kenyan thing.) So, I'm going to focus my rant on one of my Childhood heroes, a man that I'd want to be like him when I grow up, a man whose greatness I cannot achieve and even by doing My best I'll never be a fraction of the man known as Santa Claus.

Yes, I have often DREAMED of BEING SANTA CLAUS. Sure he's not as Super as say, Superman who uses his powers to protect humanity or a Christ-like figure who dies for our sins...
Cue the Nostalgia Critic Optimus Prime joke...

Santa wants us to be good... Not to save us from the possibility of Eternal Damnation, but for Goodness sake. Of course, this is the point where the TOY Bribe is brought up. Sure, the whole commercialization of Christmas kinda ruins the holiday and instead of reflecting on our actions throughout the year and try to be a better person; but a treat outside your birthday doesn't seem like a bad thing... Besides Pretty much EVERY Holiday has been commercialized... Candy and postcards on V-Day, Fireworks, meat and beer for Independence Day, Candy for Halloween, Green stuff and Alcohol for St. Patrick's, uh, Tex Mex food, Racist stereotypical Sombreros and ponchos and Tequila for cinco de Mayo... So think about it, the Magic of Christmas is all about trying to be a better person, to share Joy even when one is dealing with harsh situations... Find the good on everything and celebrate that. Santa embodies that pretty well.

I mean, the guy is a bit of an anti social person who prefers to be isolated from contact with other people most of the year. The guy lives in the NORTH POLE, a very inhospitable place! Now to be fair, the guy is immortal. Losing Family and Friends to the great Equalizer IS something Horrible... Now take that and add to the equation that you cannot die. See the reason why he must be away from humanity. This would also explain his attachment to Children.

Think about it: Children have the most hopes and dreams, their imaginations are wonderful and to an extent magical. A man who cannot die would try to cherish every moment with those he'd consider friends. Most kids would say that Santa is a friend. Some adults still trust Santa, or at least feel a bit relieved when near Santa (even if it is not the REAL Santa...) Why is that? Because we consider him a friend and someone we should trust. (Due to all the years he has been watching for us and giving us presents when we've been good)

Also, Look at Santa: He's old, fat, lives on a diet of cookies and milk... The guy can eat Cookies and Milk... And candy too with ZERO CONSEQUENCES!! Well, maybe one night of massive Overtime, but he has the rest of the year to prepare physically and mentally for it.

Why does he do it? Here we could go and take the Story of Nikolaos of Myra, which is the historical figure that inspired the Santa lore. I prefer to go in a different direction. The Immortal Claus knows how short life is, since he is undying and has seen the lives of his friends go by so fast (compared to him) So he goes out of his way to bring presents to the children in order to bring them some additional joy in their short lifespans. Think about it. Santa only comes when you still have some innocence in you and have not become jaded and cynical due to the harsh realities of this world. This brings us back to the Be Good for Goodness sake. For those who "outgrew" Santa, the idea of Be Good for Goodness sake is a message. Don't be a cynical jerkwad ALL THE TIME. Let the childlike innocence thrive for a while... A little hope that things CAN BE Better is not a bad thing.

Spreading Happiness and bringing Joy to people everywhere just by using 2 Letters 3 times... Ho, Ho, Ho! Being able to eat a ton of cookies and milk without any side effects is a nice perk too!
The premise of Sneaking into peoples' homes, eating their food and leaving Mysterious Packages sounds disturbing for most adults... For me it sounds like an Extreme game of Metal Gear Solid in real life... but the cookies and milk is where it's at... and don't get me no stinking vegan cookies and non-dairy milk... BLEGH!

Fall of Eternia 2 and 3: confirming why Scott Neitlich should be banned from writing comics.

We have been waiting for this since the Oo-Larr mini Comic was revealed. Thanks to a good friend, I was able to read the Minis BEFORE my figures arrive sometime in January... (2015 rankings coming up once I get the figures)
It starts where the last one ended up and the heroes run away like wusses. Right out of the bat we have He-Man running away... To Thundaria where Orko rips off Green Lantern lore...
Then we have Gorpo's goons picking up the rubble on Grayskull and we see Megabeast discard the Frozen in Gemstone Horde Prime head... I actually chuckled at that.
Spector gets a Speaking Role... and yes, I heard Scott's Voice when Spector Spoke... They need Technology to go back, but only Magic can go forward in Time Travel... Also MEFII is a glorified amplifier for Neitlich... err, Spector.
Yes, He-Man's plan is to send Dare back to the past in a Reverse Faceless One Maneuver.
Dare and Spector reach Preternia... How can I describe Preternia?

Neitlich is a dick to Illumina... He tossess Illumina in the comic and she kills Spector, while she takes a jab at the gimp suit... Then He-Ro, the real deal, turns Illumina into Sleetah... "We'll never need to deal with you again!" says He-ro after he "destroys Illumina". I don't know about you but this is clearly a jab against Emiliano Santalucia, creator of Illumina. Spector's death seals his Mary Sue Role... "Heroic Sacrifice" The Mighty one died by bringing Dare to the past.

so He-ro takes Preten-Dor to Eldor so he can have a Rocky Montage. Seriously, all the spells Eldor have are "Hero spells" and they need to be used by a Hero... I feel a song coming up.

Meanwhile, Skeleteen is used to showcase new villains: Merman 2, Tunglashor 2, Trap Jaw 2 and Old Beastman... Gorpo gets the Spell of Separation and splits the planet in two to get the Star Seed.

Neitlich wastes a page on He-Man bitching about the leaked pics of Gorpo on 4chan!? Man he's worse than Anita... He also explains how the power of grayskull works... which is something we already know... The cool part is the art where He-Man is punting Beastman...

Let's take a Breather here before the Part 3 of the Fall of Eternia...
We're being overloaded with Exposition on more than HALF of the 3 minis... This is on par with Prequels Lucas bad writing... You may have noticed that I did NOT mention the King Hiss is revived to be killed by Gorpo immediately because it's TOO FREAKING STUPID!!

Now let's do part 3:
Dare and He-Ro wearing a James Hook Costume... there's a change in the artist. Axel is no longer drawing the characters here.
So they go to Eldor and now has to study Books...

We have a Montage... where Sharella is hit by an arrow and becomes green. (we don't see the turning green part but it's implied... and yes she was Preternia Teela basically)

Back in the present: Orko, sharella, Sister Teela... Seriously she looks like a freaking nun! and Master Sebrian are trying to hold the planet together... now there is NO EXCUSE TO NOT MAKE A SEBRIAN FIGURE, MATTEL!! and they get assistance from Evil Lyn who gets repowered and a hell of a plastic surgery... (remember she's old enough to be He-Man's mother)
but that isn't enough and we get help from That Guy in Yellow who Participated in a Tug of War against He-Man who is now a cosmic being... and vanishes as fast as he came... Neitlich is a dick to Tug O' War fans...

So Dare is going to the present and indirectly help Gorpo because he needs the Power Sword to unlock the Star Seed and Dare is hellbent on going to the present... King Grayskull gives Dare a pep talk that made me sick to my stomach (doesn't help that I have a cold)...
The Heroes and villains face up in UBG III...
Splash page with CastleGrayskullman, Old Sea Hawk, Bow flying on Arrow... TRUE BLUE POP ARROW... She-Ra was demoted to Man-at-Arms... She's wearing a Duncan-esque She-Ra Helmet and is clad in green and orange... But there is someone with a Duncan Helmet and sporting his mace... Sonofabitch! 200X Roboto is in this... and Mo-Larr is apparently an evil Warrior from the Future... Mo-Larr is canon... Let that sink in for a moment... Neitlich FORCED MO-LARR INTO MOTU CANON...

Then it turns into two little kids playing with their toys when Gorpo and Dare summon their key characters in their prime to do a death battle. No, scratch that... It's

And Orko teams up with Dare to Kill Gorpo in the most pathetic way... Seriously, Orko pops a flower out of his hat and Gorpo's like WTF... Then Dare Penetrates Gorpo with his sword from behind in a Reverse Sephiroth Maneuver...

Dare sends the heroes back to their time and now the battle between Dare and Skeleteen will go on for the Starseed seeing that there is no Grayskull now.

I'll let a professional reviewer summarize my thoughts on these comics:

Whoops! wrong Critic,,,

Again, this feels like Neitlich tried to tell a 200+ page novel in 42 pages. Then there's the whole fact that this arc was nothing but a ploy to force feed us Dare as the new Hero in charge... Who is better than He-Man and She-Ra combined. That pep speech of King Grayskull being all proud of him made me sick, because for years we've been told He-Man and She-Ra are the heroes of Prophecy, not Dare the turdburglar! The ending was a huge letdown... even for a Neitlich comic. Seriously it's a retread from the past mini comics... 2 of them are loaded with exposition and the third one tries to make up for it with Splash pages and more characters appearing out of the blue. Not sure if intentional, but the whole History Repeats itself was rather dull and uninspiring. Forced Cameos felt forced and the whole taking his whole Emiliano Vendetta thing to the publish page feels a bit unprofessional... Hopefully Mattel will release Illumina as a final Screw You to Neitlich.

Now that we have the entire Neitlichverse we can see how horrible it is as a whole... Heroes acting unheroically (genocide, literal backstabbing the villain,) Neitlich using his position to take jabs at others, horrible pacing and trying to force feed unpopular concepts to the fans.
Also, Captain of the Guard She-Ra is Misogynistic as hell...

Skeleteen and Dare don't look so hot on this either... I mean hot as desirable (not sexually desirable, but as in I need these two on my shelf desirable) Dare ended up being a Mary Sue... even bigger than Spector. Seriously, dare becomes a Better He-Man than HE-MAN AND SHE-RA COMBINED... That's...

I knew I needed the Goldblum clip somewhere on this rant... Here's where it was needed, oh well!
Skeleteen ended up being a FLUNKY... a Flunky who became boss once Mitch the Uno was killed like a little bitch... How can we make the character desirable as a toy when his appearance is reduced to Skeleteen = Gorpo's Bitchboy #3... Jitsu is #2 and King Hssss is #1.

I expected the comics to be bad, but this is EROTIC FAN FIC BAD!!! (and BTW there is an Erotic Fanfic of Skeleteen on the internets... That's where I firstgot inspired for the battle cry for Skeleteen... SKELETEEEEENUH M***********!)

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah, Hearthswarming Eve or whatever you celebrate!

Dec 24, 2015

It's the Holiday Play by Play rant time!

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